We Watched "Monkey Man"

The Ultimate Fighter: Monkey Man vs Engorged Elephant — only on ESPN!

We Watched "Rebel Moon - Part Two: The Scargiver"

A slow-motion feature film about grain and hand jibbers.

We Watched "Damsel"

Dragon deez nuts.

We Watched "The Beekeeper"

Did Benny Hill write all the law enforcement parts in this script?

We Watched "Road House (1989)"

This episode was brought to you by Penney OpCo LLC.

We Watched "Outlaw Johnny Black"

Darth Yarbrough sees all.

We Watched "The Monkey King (2023)"

See you next Tuesday.

We Watched "The Marvels"

Get Flerkened, son!

We Watched "Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning Part One"

This is what happens when you ask an AI to write a movie about AI.

We Watched "The Creator"

In America and New Asia's battle for Most Incompetent Country, the losers are us.

We Watched "Meg 2: The Trench"

Where should a "the" go when crafting a movie title? That is one of the most elusive questions humanity has ever been confronted with.

We Watched "Blue Beetle"

Many Latinxs were harmed in the making of this movie.

We Watched "John Wick: Chapter 4"

High Table swag used to be much better back in the day.

We Watched "The Super Mario Bros. Movie"

They did Luigi dirty.

We Watched "Rebel Moon: Part One - A Child of Fire"

a.k.a. "Slow Motion: The Movie".

We Watched "Shin Godzilla"

Nuke me, senpai!

We Watched "Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse"

Miguel O'Hara is a dick.

We Watched "Doctor Who - The Star Beast" (TV Special)

Call the Meep "the Meep" when referring to the Meep.

We Watched "I Believe in Santa"

The real Christmas is the capitalism we made along the way. 

We Watched "Avatar: The Way of Water"

What happened to Jermain Clement's accent?

We Watched "Hidden Strike" (a.k.a. "Project X-Traction")

Euron Greyjoy is a dick.

We Watched "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem"

Raph has issues.

We Watched "Barbie (2023)"

The patriarchy was, in fact, harmed in the making of this episode.

We Watched "Friday the 13th"

Don't put the devil's horn in the soulhole.

We Watched "Disney's Haunted Mansion (2023)"

The Ghosts Union will hunt (and haunt) scabs.

We Watched "The Last Voyage of the Demeter"

The cook wasn't mentioned even once.

We Watched "M3GAN"

Gemma deserved that bitch slap, let's be honest.

We Watched "Renfield"

Fuck you, Kyle!

We Watched "Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves"

Fingering teaholes is the highest form of skullduggery.

We Watched "The Flash (2023)"

Get the fuck outta here!