Matt (00:00.866)
Hello and welcome to Popcorn and Plot Holes.

Luciano (00:05.07)
Buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-

Matt (00:07.758)
Wait, hello and welcome to Popcorn and Bloodholes. I guess Brooke talked a little bit on that. I'll just CGI my face. It'll be fine.

Chris (00:08.332)
Yes.

Chris (00:12.864)
Bueller.

Spencer (00:13.414)
much better.

Luciano (00:16.622)
I'll just CGI my face. That's what Yeah, I was gonna say that's what they told you in Holmes family. Yeah

Spencer (00:17.042)
Deepfake. Deepfake in home on.

Matt (00:20.812)
Yeah, that'll probably look better than my face does now. Listen, we watched a movie this week. It was called Legally Alien Romulus, Romuli? Spiritually, I'm calling it Alien Slenderman. That's my choice. Spoilers. With me, always, Luciano.

Spencer (00:26.649)
Well, thanks for the post.

Chris (00:36.514)
But spiritually, it was called...

Luciano (00:48.01)
Yeah, we've done this to ourselves again.

Matt (00:53.06)
Way more excitable, Chris.

Luciano (00:58.956)
haha

Matt (01:02.264)
Yeah, and boring-ass Spencer.

Spencer (01:04.902)
Yo yo yo yo yo yo what up it's good

Chris (01:14.028)
He hated it.

Luciano (01:14.126)
Okay. Yeah.

Matt (01:15.096)
You did. Let's say before the hate flows, we talk about the good things. So let's all tell us, tell the audience or tell us both what they liked about this movie. And Luciano, since you seem to be struggling and Chris more struggling, Spencer, why don't you go first?

Chris (01:18.396)
Yeah

Spencer (01:18.49)
I had to do something.

Luciano (01:37.282)
You

Spencer (01:41.588)
well, I liked the main thing I liked with this movie was the I guess the wording would be the art direction. The the vibe of the world was very cool. I love the alien. I love aliens. And we don't speak about the rest. But I think they did a good job of doing that retro futurism and having the cool like vibe the ship I thought everything looked really

cyberpunk pretty dystopian. It was a vibe, you know? It was a vibe.

Chris (02:17.346)
Mmm.

Matt (02:19.135)
It felt like an world.

Spencer (02:21.83)
Yeah, it felt. Yeah, mate, it felt I found it felt almost more like alien than aliens. Because it didn't. Yeah, because that's a better vibe. I think this the aliens is like, was a taste of like, James Cameron militarism, military, you know. Thank you. It's if it's a word, was the word I was intending, no matter what it means.

Luciano (02:29.696)
I think that's what they were going for,

Matt (02:42.84)
Militarism was correct, but I don't know where you're going, so maybe it was wrong.

Okay, great. Now that worded great.

Spencer (02:51.784)
Yeah, but like the same way the military and Avatar feels basically, it's like that vibe. So there's a little touch of that in aliens. Yeah, exactly. He has a very specific take on the future of the military. It's like Marines with bigger guns and bigger ships. Anyways, this one felt more like like retro like the 70s alien movie. So kudos. Well done.

Matt (02:55.961)
Yep.

Luciano (02:57.55)
The James Cameron take on the military, is that what you're saying?

Matt (03:00.966)
Military vibe, yeah.

Matt (03:19.458)
All right, Luciano, you wasted your time thinking interacting with Spencer. That was your own fault.

Luciano (03:23.694)
No, no, I came in knowing what my, there was so very few things to pick from. So spoiler alert. No, really liked the specifically when they were showing at the end, ship or the station approaching the ring or the asteroid belt. I like that whole thing. Like just the visuals of it were great. I thought it was like.

Matt (03:29.011)
great.

Spencer (03:31.821)
here we go.

Matt (03:44.48)
Asteroid ring. Yeah.

Matt (03:52.44)
Yeah, that stole all the budget from Rook's face.

Luciano (03:52.598)
It's a very unique thing. Yeah. And the Slenderman, but yeah, it did. But like, it's such a unique idea. there's a lot of space fiction, but we never, like, they always talk about rings and they always talk about that kind of stuff, but you never see, there's something that's about to collide with that thing. So I thought it was very cool and very, yeah, okay.

Matt (03:57.636)
Yeah.

Woof! Woof!

Spencer (04:17.512)
He wanted to see something collide with that ring.

Luciano (04:22.67)
We're not going to talk about that. no, I just thought it was very like, it had a really like nice visuals and very nice feeling to it. So that was my favorite thing in the movie, which is sad, but you know, it is what it is.

Spencer (04:23.462)
You sick fuck.

Spencer (04:36.602)
my god, I'm already getting sick of this guy. Anyone else sick of this guy?

Luciano (04:39.534)
You

Matt (04:41.348)
He's not there for everyone's screen, so I hope this records well. It's gonna be embarrassing for you. Yeah.

Spencer (04:45.0)
I was pointing facetiously.

Luciano (04:48.878)
Point hours pointing facetiously.

Spencer (04:51.464)
This guy?

Matt (04:54.5)
Spencer, you have a great haircut, he pointed facetiously. Chris, a good part of this movie. Yes.

Luciano (04:58.316)
Hahaha!

Spencer (04:58.788)
Yeah

Chris (05:00.791)
Haha!

Chris (05:07.81)
good part of this movie? Yes. me, actually, it was the relationship between Rain and Andy. The entire arc of it, after I finished it, like during and after I finished it, I found myself looking back and I was like, for once, the main character and the audience, we got a plus one. So like, it wasn't just like us kind of like.

riding shoulder on the shoulder and the heels of the singular character. These two characters had a relationship almost sibling-like. That kind of tugged on my heart string. And they both, I know one's a synthetic, but they both got through, even though Andy had to go into cryo sleep. I was fine with that. But for me, they worked together and Andy had his own arc, but it was still connected to Rain. Rain's like, are you there? For me, it-

that resonated. I really liked what they did with this these binary, not binary, but like this pairing. I don't want to do it. I don't want to say it. I don't want to say it. So I'm not going to say it. I just appreciate their relationship, the ebbs and flows, the obstacles they had to get through both singularly and then together. I really, really liked that. And that was it for me. Yeah, that was my favorite part.

Luciano (06:12.088)
Don't say it. Then don't say it.

Spencer (06:28.722)
See this guy. This guy gets cinema. He points authentically.

Chris (06:37.09)
enjoyed the relationship coca-cola. We need another dimension.

Matt (06:43.284)
Anywho, that's...

Chris (06:45.494)
Ha ha ha!

Matt (06:48.708)
That's your fault for talking, I think. My favorite part of this movie, I think, is...

When Navarro pulls out the X-ray wand and triple confirms to everybody that she has a chest burster in her, it is a really fun effect to highlight what we all know is happening, just raise the tension of the situation for her. We all know what's happening, but she has no idea.

Luciano (07:10.144)
It is pretty cool, I agree.

Spencer (07:24.102)
It might be the epitome of the rule of cool.

Matt (07:26.5)
100 % 100 % because there's no there's no reason for that thing to be anywhere and and let me just I Like why does she know to pull it out? And she's just be like I gotta be honest with you was something felt like it was hammering from inside my chest to get out I don't think checking with an x-ray wanted to be on top thing on my list

Luciano (07:26.754)
Yeah, yeah.

Spencer (07:28.59)
It's so stupid. do you think about it? We just checked this for the audience. Not for me, for the audience.

Chris (07:36.15)
Yeah.

Spencer (07:47.368)
And be like, I feel like there's something exploding through.

Luciano (07:47.831)
Hmm. I wonder what that could be. gosh, darn it all to heck

Chris (07:48.652)
You wouldn't, you wouldn't.

Chris (07:52.864)
You wouldn't want to know if you feel something and you have something that you could, you wouldn't want to know if you, if you.

Matt (07:57.238)
I think... Is that Taco Bell? Or is it a chestburster? I don't know.

Spencer (07:57.446)
I'm hoping it's the tacos I ate, but let me just check!

Luciano (07:59.49)
Hahaha!

Spencer (08:05.544)
It's gotta confirm here.

Chris (08:07.212)
Ugh.

Luciano (08:08.81)
It's a very famous reality show in the future. It's Taco Bell or Chestburster.

Matt (08:13.772)
Yeah. That's how Wayland and Utah made all their money is that one game show.

Spencer (08:14.152)
Brought to you by Weyland Yutani.

Chris (08:16.288)
No, sir

Luciano (08:22.734)
Yeah.

Spencer (08:23.323)
I I'd watch it.

Matt (08:25.174)
Yeah, 100%. all right, we were positive. Not to say we're going to get negative with this movie, but we're just releasing the shackles as it were. let's just talk about the obvious thing that anybody who watches movie needs would talk about. What the fuck is up with the, you home space?

Spencer (08:34.76)
Why would we?

Luciano (08:44.11)
Ha

Spencer (08:45.778)
Hahaha!

Matt (08:47.972)
Because like, it's not good. And they use them a lot.

Luciano (08:50.526)
No, my God. Too much, one would say. I remember when they did that with grandma Moff Tarkin and with Leia and we were like, I don't know about that. And you think that technology would march on. Yeah, exactly. It's like, wow, I miss Moff Tarkin so much. Yeah. This is like, what happened?

Spencer (08:53.092)
lot.

Matt (08:54.753)
Yes, one would say.

Spencer (09:06.152)
That looks... You look at that now, you're like, bravo.

Matt (09:08.505)
Yeah.

Matt (09:12.27)
Yeah.

Spencer (09:14.152)
I miss bullying CGI, I'm off darken.

Chris (09:15.948)
you

Luciano (09:21.184)
It felt like, you know, I don't know if you guys ever watched like old anime where they were cheap out on animation and they would only animate part of the face. So like when they, when they move their face like that, like just the, like just the bottom of the face, that's the same thing that happened with Ian Holm here. was like, how does that happen? Who looks at that CG and goes, no, yeah, that's the one.

Spencer (09:45.224)
I feel bad for like the people that are like imagine the director. They're like we can do it. We can use like okay well if not we'll get we'll just make it a different Andrea. No no we can do it people are gonna love it. Okay I trust you CGI company from Bangladesh and and then like they he watches like you know this was the final cut too so like the first the first one it must have been so awkward.

Luciano (10:11.66)
Wait, so you feel bad for the director? I feel bad for you and Holmes family having to see that. That's what I feel bad for.

Matt (10:17.652)
I get that if, I don't know Ian Holmes family, y'all might be nice, I have no idea, but if you're willing to sell Ian Holmes face of likeness for the money you get out of it, I don't think you care that it's used in a legitimate way.

Luciano (10:30.488)
Fair.

Spencer (10:31.578)
I will say I did just to give a little kudos, but apparently the family, mean, they might, this might just be PR, they were like, Ian Holm always wanted to do more alien and like he would want to be in this movie or whatever. Yeah. Yeah. You know, it's ghost ruining the CGI.

Matt (10:44.548)
All right. Not like this. Yeah.

Luciano (10:45.846)
Meanwhile, you're home from the grave. Not like this, exactly!

Chris (10:49.346)
Noooo

Matt (10:52.9)
You know, it's like, actually, not for me. Yeah.

Chris (10:53.621)
BOOM

Luciano (10:55.852)
Hahaha.

Spencer (10:56.57)
I read the script. Yeah. mean, I I'm a big, like, like, as you could tell, I didn't like a lot of this movie, but that I was like into the movie up until that scene. I was like fully like it. Like I said, the vibe of that first planet and everything. I was like fully in, you when they turned over Ian home and he started talking, I did like a double take, like spit take if I was drinking something, it was that jarring and it's just

Luciano (11:15.096)
Double take? Yeah.

Luciano (11:20.579)
Yeah, I legit, like my jaw legit dropped. I was like, what the fuck?

Matt (11:20.6)
Mm-mm.

Spencer (11:26.64)
It's so silly because it's not like Leia, where like you can't have anyone else be Leia, especially when they're like, they have other synthetics and that it would have been a perfect opportunity to make like a new synthetic that would be interesting. You know, like another.

Matt (11:33.988)
They have other synthetics,

Luciano (11:36.226)
Yeah.

Matt (11:42.19)
Why don't you just bring back Michael Fassbender? That would have been fine.

Luciano (11:42.47)
Or like you could, I was going to say, no, but like if they wanted it to be rook, he didn't have to have the same face. It's just an Android, right? It could have been another face with his personality. It's fine.

Spencer (11:45.466)
That would have been fine. That would have been much better.

Spencer (11:55.535)
No.

Spencer (11:59.112)
It would have been cool to see a new actor do something interesting with a new android character, you know? And then you're like, at least you're like, kind of like, like with him, you know, he's going to be bad because he's like basically the same character as Ash from the original. So the whole thing is just like a weird choice that's not even needed just for like the whole like, remember Ash? We have Ash at home.

Luciano (12:02.518)
Yeah.

Luciano (12:10.667)
Yeah, well, yeah.

Luciano (12:22.056)
yeah, mean this home... Ash at home? Yeah, that's exactly what it is. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Spencer (12:28.36)
It felt like rock. So yeah, that was was rough.

Matt (12:35.381)
It's one of these things where you're right Spencer, I think they filmed it and they're like, it'll be fine. But once you've done all that work and you've relied on that character so heavily that if it came back the way it did, you just couldn't pull out. Like, it would-

Luciano (12:43.084)
Hahaha.

Spencer (12:52.04)
I mean, I feel like if they just used the person who was playing Ash's body, like he could, like just take out all the CGI and just use whatever actor they had.

Matt (13:03.012)
see here.

Luciano (13:03.264)
Assuming it wasn't like a tennis ball with a dot on it.

Matt (13:06.456)
Daniel Betts.

Spencer (13:07.526)
Make it to tennis ball.

Luciano (13:08.91)
Hahaha!

Matt (13:09.9)
No, was an actor named Daniel Betts was the head. He is known for this movie War Machine, Allied and Fury.

Luciano (13:14.894)
Okay.

Chris (13:17.858)
you

Spencer (13:20.412)
Yeah, he couldn't have been worse than melting like plastic, whatever the fuck it looked like. It was just a yeah, it was frustrating because I liked a lot of the other parts of the movie. But that was like just took you so far. Did just take you out of the movie like took me out of my house. Like so far out.

Luciano (13:24.499)
Yeah.

Matt (13:25.708)
You know, face, melting rook face.

Chris (13:40.918)
Damn.

Luciano (13:44.654)
Yeah, it was bad. agree. was... I went into the movie without knowing what to expect, especially when the movie starts and it's not in... Well, when it starts, it's the chip going in to pick up the fossilized xenomorph or whatever. And I thought the movie was going to be in that chip, but then we get to the planet and I was like, here's something new.

That would be interesting. Maybe the xenomorph is going to fucking destroy this whole colony. And I was in like, I was like, okay, at least that yeah, that would have been different and cool. But then they're like, they're going to be in this tiny ship. I thought at first it's going to be in this tiny ship with the xenomorph. This move is going to be done in 20 minutes. But yeah. Yeah. But, then when they, when I saw the station and how big it was, was like,

Spencer (14:18.024)
That'd be cool.

Matt (14:19.041)
fun yeah

Spencer (14:28.07)
It's one room. Imagine he's like standing there awkwardly in between the five of them. And like turned.

Spencer (14:42.95)
This is our setting.

Luciano (14:43.848)
They're going to wreak absolute havoc in this fucking station. And so they did, but

Matt (14:47.108)
you

Spencer (14:49.65)
True though, mining colony was a much cooler place. That was one of my favorite parts, was that whole opening.

Luciano (14:53.802)
Setting, yeah, yeah

Chris (14:55.17)
Hmmmm

Matt (14:55.619)
I mean, listen.

Luciano (14:58.35)
I agree. I like the two.

Matt (14:58.434)
Yeah, I will say that we're shitting on this movie, but it obviously had a small budget. And yes, that CGI throws me off. But everything else they made, the choices they made worked well for the budget, the limited budget they had. And so they did a great job with the resources they had. They made smart choices that they were able to handle. Whatever they did on the CGI for Ian Holm's face, they certainly, as you pointed out, Luciano, that

Spencer (15:11.462)
Yeah, everything else looked great.

Luciano (15:13.794)
Yeah, well.

Matt (15:27.648)
you know, the final quarter of the movie when they're that all of that is gorgeous. You know, all the CGI that work is fantastic. So, you know, they did a great job overall. It just sucks that Ian Holmes faces. So like show up once, have them talk and then you can have them talk off screen for the rest of the time.

Luciano (15:29.74)
Yeah, no, it's gorgeous,

Chris (15:43.328)
Yeah, camera over the shoulder.

Luciano (15:43.501)
Yeah, yeah.

Spencer (15:44.338)
I mean, yeah, I was thinking the same thing. I'm like, if that's your result, like use the audio and have the shot from behind his head, you know?

Luciano (15:51.258)
Yeah.

Hell, like just make someone do a doodle of some of the looks like you at home and having them talk would be better than that.

Spencer (16:02.886)
I mean, they could have had him just on the radio for most of like the second half he's on the radio and and like they keep cutting to him talking into him like a fucking like walkie talkie not a walkie talkie, you know, he's like talking to the monitor and it's like just don't cut to him.

Luciano (16:06.85)
Like a disembodied voice.

Chris (16:15.945)
PA or whatever?

Matt (16:18.99)
You have to show them once because otherwise it's if you'd never show him and people will also be annoyed. But you show them once and then if it looks like that, you just don't or like, I think you could have pulled it out. Honestly, I think you could have. I mean, I guess you can use what's his face. Like, like I play Whale and Yutani and the Alien versus Predator. Was it Alien versus Predator?

Chris (16:43.778)
Jared, no not alien predator, I don't

Luciano (16:45.518)
know, Guy Pearce?

Spencer (16:45.932)
Yeah, yeah. No, you know, you're talking about Bishop from Aliens, right? He's also super old. They could have de-aged him. You know they should have done? They should have gotten the guy who played Bilbo in the Bilbo movies, in the Hobbit movies.

Matt (16:48.657)
Bishop yeah, yeah, yeah Isn't he still alive? Yeah

Luciano (16:59.758)
Martin Freeman,

Chris (17:01.698)
TREEMAN.

Spencer (17:02.78)
Martin Freeman, yeah, just to be young Ian Holm. But it also doesn't make sense. Like who is this for the choice to have Ian Holm back? Like the new fans are not gonna know who that is. Old fans are gonna be like, he's dead, disgraceful and it looks bad. But also in the original movie, nobody knew he was an android, so why would they have multiple copies of this like secret android?

Luciano (17:08.673)
Yeah.

Chris (17:08.674)
Good question.

Luciano (17:14.254)
That's disgraceful. Yeah.

Matt (17:17.496)
It's.

Luciano (17:20.96)
Yeah, that was that was one of the big surprises. Yeah.

Matt (17:25.964)
It is, you're right, it's one of those callbacks. And this movie has a problem with it some degree of... It's a callback to a thing that's like, you're trying to make it a thing and interesting, but it becomes just like a distraction. It's not in the same vein, but it makes me think of Solo where Han Solo's dice in the Millennium Falcon are like, he carries around with them purposely. And it's just like, man, I could just be a like...

Spencer (17:26.162)
at the

Spencer (17:31.91)
Yes.

Spencer (17:46.312)
What did get your name?

Matt (17:54.87)
a thing of a million fuckers. It could just be some dicey ass hanging up.

Spencer (17:55.752)
It could just be dice.

Luciano (17:57.078)
Yeah, it could just be somewhere in the background where you go, where you go, ooh, look at that. That's it. Like it doesn't have to.

Spencer (18:02.077)
Who are your people? I'm alone.

Matt (18:02.146)
Yeah. Yeah, the dice, the dice people. mean, I'm alone, sorry. But yeah, so it made you feel a little bit like that when I was like, hey, look what we We paid for Ian Holm's face. That's just like, why I...

Luciano (18:13.516)
Yeah, but also, but also if you go to the things that they did that were new, aka the fucking slenderman, then, you know, maybe the choice of using old shit is not that bad. It's awful. It's fucking awful. Yes, that too. But.

Spencer (18:14.108)
You pay for your own space, you use it.

Spencer (18:25.224)
Listen, that's just like, that's just like your opinion, man. I will say no. You are. You are.

Matt (18:40.92)
Hey, this is a podcast where we talk to our audience about things. Instead of saying, you're wrong, no, you are. Why don't one of you explain their position on Slender Man and then the other one can rebuke. And then we're going to have a discussion, maybe even including Chris, if he's interested.

Luciano (18:56.15)
Okay, Slender Man sucks.

Spencer (18:56.294)
Listen. Listen, I'm not. Lucy, no, I can show his work for him. Lucy, I was one of those people that, know, he as much as he complains about him recreate retreating on the old stuff, the new stuff, also, that's too different. It's not it's not safe. No, it's.

Matt (18:59.268)
Show your work.

Luciano (19:00.685)
You

Luciano (19:12.384)
It's not because it's different. It's just a bad idea. No, like, okay, let let me say, let me tell you what I just thought it was. And we're, I know we're going to get into this later, but like the whole, the whole thing with her getting like Insta, like Insta ready to pop. then the, the, the baby growing to be like 35 years old with a mortgage in like two seconds is like, I was already kind of stupid, then I don't, didn't like.

Chris (19:36.758)
you

Luciano (19:42.542)
the visuals of it. Because like the thing with the xenomorph is it is fucking scary. it's so we back back before like the older movies where they're aliens there is usually like humanoid triptychers. They have eyes they have like it's sort of a humanoid shape. The xenomorph is like you look at it and you go okay that's fucking alien that's fucking scary.

Chris (19:46.006)
Yeah.

Luciano (20:09.908)
And even like the chest burster, because it's small, but it's creepy. The face hugger is super creepy. And obviously the main zoom morph is scary as hell. That thing was like stupid. It's not scary. It's not a cool design. It's just like a giant humanoid, like gray humanoid, like every other alien in every other franchise ever.

Spencer (20:36.648)
I thought it was creepy.

Matt (20:38.392)
peas eggs out of its front butt.

Luciano (20:42.453)
Okay

Spencer (20:43.558)
I thought it was creepy and like the shot where the shower first of all it it pees exit of his front butt but also I thought it was creepy looking and like long and like slowly walking Adam I thought he was like I thought he kind of looked unique and weird and like really off-putting and the way that he's like trying to breastfeed kinda and like killing the mom was like fucking twisted yeah yeah we know

Luciano (20:45.994)
What a way to put it.

You

Luciano (21:08.066)
I thought I was dumb too, like the fact that he knew there was the mom. No, no, I'm serious. Like I thought when he was getting close to her that he didn't, that he didn't like, okay, I'm not going to kill this one human because then, yeah, and then he killed her anyway.

Spencer (21:16.156)
It was dumb that he knew it was his mom.

Spencer (21:21.552)
No, he did know.

He was trying to, I think he was trying to breastfeed it and just didn't know what the fuck was going on.

Chris (21:24.972)
Yeah.

Luciano (21:27.982)
Ha

Matt (21:28.292)
I feel like you don't, if you breastfeed, you don't drink all the blood out of a person specifically.

Luciano (21:32.906)
Yeah, you don't drink the blood from the shoulder.

Spencer (21:34.272)
you knew that when you were a one minute old giant monster? Matt.

Luciano (21:41.582)
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. That's kind of that's part xenomorph. That was a 35 year old man with probably back pain. Like, come on.

Matt (21:44.342)
Yeah, yeah, I wouldn't. You got me.

Chris (21:53.836)
So Kay gives birth to Will Ferrell and Will Ferrell meets Sugar Bear high on honeycomb, honey crisps. The only interesting part of Slender Xenomorph was the back and I didn't like it because it was gross but I appreciated it because it was different but it was still Will Ferrell.

Luciano (21:59.598)
Something like that.

Chris (22:20.544)
Everything we've just laid out, all the bullet points of, of, mom, mom, can I, can I have, can I have some money for my light bill? Mom, just give it to me, mom. Like, and I don't.

Spencer (22:33.712)
You tell me you tell me if a naked will farrell didn't appear right beside you staring down you with a mouth agape eyes like dark and blinded you wouldn't be like terrified don't lie to me.

Chris (22:48.066)
thought it was creepy, but I didn't... I second the... I can't remember who said it just now, but like, I wasn't fascinated by this design, much like I am and continue to be fascinated and more scared of the traditional xenomorph. Also, like, even if we look at the previous Alien movie with like the engineers, they were scary for a completely different way.

Spencer (23:11.538)
Well, that's what this was. It was like an engineer. had engineer features.

Chris (23:15.65)
Sort of. And like I give them points for trying something different. Like Kate was already pregnant, xenomorph DNA accelerated it, but I just didn't like the outcome. they put it back in the oven. please.

Luciano (23:28.75)
Let it cook, let it cook a little more.

Spencer (23:29.466)
I like, I like that it was a practical monster, not just some CGI like monstrosity. I didn't want them to do like the queen for the ending because that's an alien. Although this technically is the same idea as the alien in resurrection or is it alien three that has the hybrid.

Luciano (23:54.539)
Three it's three the one that killed the franchise

Spencer (23:59.642)
Yeah, I will say though that was one of my nitpicks of the movie is that it's a let's just end this. I'm right about the Sunder man. Let's just move on from that. But no, no, we're done. It's we've passed it. No, but that this movie is like we mentioned before, it like retreads a lot. Like really, when you look at this movie and step back, it's basically Alien one, two and three all in one movie. Like the first third is aliens, alien one.

Luciano (24:10.602)
Sure, you're right that you're wrong, yes.

Luciano (24:24.621)
Yeah.

Chris (24:25.473)
Thank

Spencer (24:28.496)
And then once she gets like the guns and stuff, it becomes like aliens where she's shooting and also more aliens appear. Right. And then it's like,

Luciano (24:35.95)
so man so like I remember thinking like because I thought there's a facehugger here and then they pan out and that I was like holy why do they have so many facehuggers and then when they're coming they just keep coming at her there must have been like I don't know 30 is you know Morris there more yeah

Chris (24:50.594)
They were strong too, like bursting through the... Yeah.

Spencer (24:56.857)
But that was like clearly like aliens and then the final act was alien 3. Are we sure it's alien 3 or resurrection? I think it's alien 3.

Luciano (24:58.967)
Yeah.

Chris (25:04.288)
Well...

Luciano (25:04.5)
I haven't watched Resurrection so it has to be 3. I haven't seen 3 since the 90s but yeah yeah Ripley throws herself into like a volcano or something so Euclidean 3 yeah

Spencer (25:08.104)
It's the one where there's like her baby is the, it's one where her baby is like a hybrid human alien.

Chris (25:08.322)
So when you...

Matt (25:13.956)
If I know anything, it was Alien. It was Alien 3 because Alien 3 is the David Fincher one. that's David Fincher written all over it.

Spencer (25:17.818)
it's a lava.

Spencer (25:21.722)
Yeah, Alien Force is like the quasi porno one.

Luciano (25:24.884)
What the fuck?

Chris (25:26.722)
I don't know what that is, but what I do know is that when you add up all of, like based on your equation and breakdown, Spencer, you've got alien one, two, and three, but then when we get to Will Ferrell hybrid, that's when it's aliens versus prems.

Luciano (25:43.874)
No, that's also Alien 3. The whole hybrid thing. The hybrid thing, yeah.

Spencer (25:45.522)
No, it's Alien 3. the whole hybrid thing is, that's what I'm just saying. No, Alien vs. Predator.

Chris (25:46.146)
Really? Aliens vs Predator was...

Matt (25:51.16)
There's no way it wouldn't be cool if her predators showed up then Slenderman if her predators popped out of her because they put Put it's it's the predators across between humans and xenomorphs. I would have been interested in that

Luciano (25:56.136)
yeah.

Spencer (25:59.122)
Surprise, bitch.

Chris (26:00.651)
NAH HEH!

Luciano (26:05.73)
Holy shit, can you imagine if they made that? predators are actually, holy shit, that would have been something.

Matt (26:08.142)
That would have had my fucking attention.

Chris (26:14.786)
That would have been, they would have been taking a risk there. Like there's like some kind of connection. No, maybe not, I don't know. But I would have been curious.

Matt (26:17.188)
I don't think they own that franchise.

Spencer (26:18.482)
Not even, no.

Luciano (26:19.565)
Yeah, yeah.

Spencer (26:21.734)
Yeah, would have been better if it was like ET.

Matt (26:25.528)
Yeah, ET pops out. It's, you know what it was for me, Spencer? It's not that the character design is good or bad. It's that I didn't care. And it might be true, but I cared about everything. Yeah, I cared about everything up until they got on the ship. And then when she had the egg and the egg burst out and it was Slender Man and like,

Spencer (26:27.271)
Yeah.

Luciano (26:37.974)
Yeah, yeah. It's like if if because it was so late, right?

Spencer (26:40.154)
is your heartless monster.

Matt (26:54.466)
Everything after that I was just like, I don't know what it was or what should have happened, but it was just like, okay, Slender Man's here, interesting. So she has to get away from another alien, okay, great.

Spencer (27:10.285)
I do, I did not love the like opening the thing to have the alien sucked out again. It seems to just happen over and over and over again.

Luciano (27:16.78)
Well, to your point again, Alien 1. They even say that they say twice in the movie, she managed to escape by shooting it or like booting it out of the airlock. Right. Even, even the scene with her putting on the space suit and walking around, was like kind of like reminiscent to Ripley putting on the battle Mac or whatever.

Spencer (27:36.604)
Yeah, yeah.

Yes.

Matt (27:41.966)
Yeah, the.

Spencer (27:42.13)
That would be my like, honestly, that's like my big critique of this movie is everything that rehashes I don't like as much. But all the original stuff they did, I liked way more. Like I wish they would just do their own thing without being like, remember? Like the get away from you, her bitch, you bitch line was one of the most out of place things I've ever seen.

Chris (28:02.841)
Really?

Matt (28:04.738)
Yeah.

Spencer (28:05.958)
Well, do you know that line is from aliens, right, Chris? So that's why you can enjoy it. That's the other most famous. That's the most famous line from the alien movies. And the way he says it too is like, yeah, Ripley says it to the alien queen. Yeah. Get away from you, you bitch. but the Android says it in this and he's like, almost like unsure, like why he's saying it. He's like, get away from you. Bitch. Hmm.

Chris (28:08.37)
no, I didn't remember that at all. It's been so... It was a long time. Okay. Yeah.

Luciano (28:11.918)
That's why you can enjoy it.

Matt (28:13.38)
Yeah.

Chris (28:17.485)
Wait, Ripley says it?

when she's in the XO. Got it.

Chris (28:34.648)
Yeah!

Matt (28:35.812)
Is that right? Did I say that right?

Spencer (28:35.836)
Like, almost like looking at the camera being like, meh?

Luciano (28:37.942)
At least we didn't get that stupid Bjorn character saying, game over man! Because that's all that was missing.

Chris (28:43.555)
That would have been great.

Spencer (28:45.904)
You should fuck that you do you see Bjorn?

Chris (28:48.419)
That was the name of the asshole boyfriend, I believe.

Luciano (28:48.598)
Yeah, that's his name. That's the name of the I fucking I like I was one of the first things. No, no, no. One of the first things I wrote down was I fucking hope Bjorn dies first. This guy is a dick.

Spencer (28:53.016)
in this movie. They're talking about Hudson.

Chris (28:59.321)
They set them up. They set them up for that. Like, you gotta have one.

Matt (29:02.52)
His real knife name is Spike Fern, which I don't know if it's any better than FakeBjorn.

Luciano (29:07.915)
No, either name would have been fine. Like same level of fine, I guess. Yeah.

Matt (29:13.284)
Sorry, sorry Spike.

Spencer (29:14.12)
I would have liked a more modern like a video game reference than Game Over. The disc wasn't saved man! GG, it's GG man! It's GG!

Luciano (29:19.714)
Like what? GG? GG, man! I would have appreciated if like the Xenomorph killed someone and went GG easy. And just lasted at that? And like, T-bags one of them or something.

Matt (29:22.308)
But...

Chris (29:23.502)
Ha ha!

Matt (29:32.004)
Ha

Spencer (29:33.761)
GG, easy dubs.

Matt (29:35.342)
Just holds up a sign.

Chris (29:35.545)
Poggers!

Matt (29:39.928)
Yeah. That's the way that the alien should have killed Bjorn instead of leaking the acid blood out of the pod just going down and teabag his face with acid.

Spencer (29:40.314)
Yeah.

Chris (29:41.305)
Yes, that's the alien that I want. I want an alien with some personality.

Luciano (29:45.835)
You

Spencer (29:49.18)
That's the alien we need.

Luciano (29:50.522)
We would... No... We... Yeah, I'll just find out that his junk also has a mini junk inside of it.

Chris (29:55.425)
Yes.

Chris (29:59.457)
Wow, yes, yes. Yeah, you thought I was gonna tell you? Nah, son, nah. Aliens, no Stromo, no Stromo. Teabag.

Matt (30:00.485)
Yeah.

Spencer (30:03.368)
Thought that.

Luciano (30:06.765)
Yeah.

Spencer (30:11.772)
I'm your dad.

Chris (30:12.663)
Yeah. Poggers.

Luciano (30:13.214)
Yeah, you're dead.

Matt (30:15.076)
Let's dive into plot holes here. There's only one plot hole that we could find in this movie. And it's not small. How does technology work in the alien verse? And I ask because there are times where

Spencer (30:20.444)
Skibity toilet.

Luciano (30:35.754)
god.

Matt (30:41.476)
they're able to synthesize a new blood element out of the juices inside of a xenomorph. And then there's other times where a bunch of kids can take a space-flying vessel up to a Whelan-Yutani space station and collide around on it for five hours and no one knows anything about what's happening.

Luciano (30:49.133)
Right.

Luciano (31:01.912)
Yeah.

Spencer (31:02.098)
They knew. Everybody was dead on that ship.

Matt (31:05.838)
Who knew?

Chris (31:07.244)
company?

Luciano (31:08.17)
Everybody was dead on the station. What about everybody from Will and Yutani in the fucking planet?

Spencer (31:13.97)
They were all the ships were like months away.

Matt (31:18.521)
Yeah.

Luciano (31:18.72)
Right, so you're telling me that they have a planet full of slaves and no oversight and the slaves just accept it.

Spencer (31:22.694)
Yes?

Spencer (31:27.548)
No, they have oversight. It's just they don't have the equipment to go to a spaceship in their orbit.

Chris (31:33.059)
So if that's the case though, why haven't any of the other slave employees bothered to wrestle control from these kids before?

Luciano (31:44.803)
Yeah?

Spencer (31:48.018)
What kids? The main characters?

Chris (31:49.869)
Yeah, let's call them the after school crew. Like, the breakfast club.

Luciano (31:50.125)
Yeah.

Spencer (31:54.824)
Okay. So why didn't, why did the slave, why did the slaves take over the breakfast club?

Luciano (31:54.993)
no, the Breakfast Club if you will.

Chris (32:01.111)
Why didn't they take, why didn't someone else steal, like why didn't any adults steal that ship to go anywhere else?

Spencer (32:07.144)
cause you can't go anywhere without fucking cryo juice

Luciano (32:09.624)
But you can take over. Sure.

Matt (32:12.662)
can we take, can we take a pause here for a second?

The purpose of a plot hole is to all agree on the plot hole in the movie and discuss the plot hole and how we can fix it. Currently we have one member disagreeing with the plot hole. Is it a plot hole? We probably should have had this conversation before we started recording. Because if you're not on board, we can't have the conversation the standard way we do it. The first thing we've done on this plot hole is instantly debate it. feels like... You don't have to go along, but...

Spencer (32:34.128)
No, I've, sometimes we debate it a little.

Spencer (32:40.806)
Alright, fine. I'll just go along.

Matt (32:47.638)
If you don't think it's a plot hole, why are we talking about it as a plot hole?

Spencer (32:52.008)
because I thought it was a fun debate, but we can debate, can go along. It's fine.

Matt (32:56.556)
It's not about going along, it's about establishing the plot point as being true before we debate it. Does that make more sense?

Spencer (33:04.124)
Yeah, that's fine.

Matt (33:05.879)
Okay, do we want to start over or how do we want it?

Spencer (33:09.224)
Whatever you guys want.

Luciano (33:12.782)
Doesn't matter to You can just go.

Chris (33:14.905)
we get here. I thought we were flowing, but it's okay.

Matt (33:21.208)
If we were fine with it, I'll just delete all this conversation. We can continue. It just felt like we were not discussing a plot hole. were. Arguing.

Chris (33:29.155)
Take it from the top again. think, think, I personally, think we, I think we were okay.

Matt (33:33.742)
Well, if you're okay, then I'm not taking it from the top. Just continue. I'm happy with being wrong. just is we've never, we've never done it this way before. Yeah.

Luciano (33:39.244)
No, it's usually, usually we agree on the plot hole and then we discuss why it's a plot hole and then how we fix it, right?

Chris (33:45.901)
Maybe, maybe we got.

Matt (33:46.328)
Yeah. Yeah. And it's fine. We want to do it a different way. I have no problem with that.

Chris (33:52.119)
Okay, so.

Matt (33:53.57)
Let's just go with it and see how it plays out.

Chris (33:56.057)
So coal was technology, what's the deal with it?

Matt (34:00.194)
Well, you guys were in a debate over your argument was that somebody else would have done something to either escape or not escape or track them escaping. And Spencer's reverse argument was that there was nowhere to go if you escaped. So why would you escape? That's where he left it at. So whoever wants to pick up a point, I'll stitch it together in post. OK. Yeah, basically.

Chris (34:03.565)
slaves and the ship.

Luciano (34:04.354)
What would happen? Yeah.

Luciano (34:20.622)
I'll pick it up. So the problem is not, it's like, sure, they can't escape without cryo juice. I don't know why we have to use the word juice, it's almost as bad as moist, but okay, fine, fine. The cryo thing, if they have a planet full of people who are basically indentured servants, which they are, and then,

Spencer (34:22.46)
after cryo juice.

Spencer (34:37.0)
The juice is loose.

Chris (34:37.771)
juice squee the juice

Luciano (34:50.592)
So you can go, I've worked my 12,000 hours and you go to the fucking DMV and the DMV lady goes, fuck you, haha, 24. Like, no, like that's clearly an abusive situation, but if there's nobody there to police it, to hold, there's a bunch of people there. How come they haven't just taken over the planet if Weyland-Yutang is not doing anything. That's my, that was my thing. When I was watching the movie, I was like,

Surely there's gonna be part of this where it's gonna be them tricking somebody or having to like steal some sort of credentials or whatever to get into that ship. No, they just walk into the ship and fucking go. I was like, how the fuck does that work?

Chris (35:25.921)
and they flew off.

Spencer (35:29.618)
They did have an all access robot.

Luciano (35:32.162)
Well, fair, they needed to get into the station, right? But they could.

Chris (35:35.502)
partly

Spencer (35:35.996)
mean, that in itself is a plothole. Anyone with a, an Android has full access to any ship.

Chris (35:41.433)
Mmm.

Matt (35:42.006)
any whale and utani property had full access to, what arguably is a secret military installation.

Luciano (35:45.005)
Yeah.

They only had They only didn't have access to a single place only when it locked down from inside because he could get in you just couldn't get out right Yes I mean I mean potato potato yeah

Spencer (35:48.336)
I mean that's... That was a privately owned android.

Chris (35:51.001)
Mmm.

Spencer (35:59.346)
Didn't they say they found him in the garbage?

Chris (36:01.433)
It was decommissioned or something like that? Yeah.

Matt (36:02.35)
Yes. Yeah. and rain rain's dad. Yeah. Rain's dad, rewrote his programming to do whatever best for rain.

Spencer (36:03.848)
He's decommissioned but still in full access.

Spencer (36:12.456)
So that's like, that's the equivalent. That's the equivalent of like an ex Pentagon worker, like throwing his like key card in the garbage and then being like, we don't need to change the codes.

Luciano (36:12.782)
and tell dad jokes.

Chris (36:14.563)
Yeah.

Matt (36:21.315)
Yes.

Luciano (36:24.141)
Yeah.

Matt (36:24.452)
and then somebody else being like, that's a perfect size card to put my face on for a picture. So I'm going to use it as a picture holder.

Luciano (36:31.534)
Yeah.

Spencer (36:31.762)
perfect. I privately own this keycard for personal reason.

Luciano (36:35.005)
Now it's mine. Now it's mine. Yeah.

Matt (36:35.032)
I privately own this picture holder. Well, I think it's, to me, is not that any of these things individually, like you're allowed to create this world where things are, you you just state a thing and it's true because we're giving you that ability as the movie watchers. But when you start to stack so many of them on top of each other, it's just like, did you think about this at all? Like, do you care?

Chris (36:37.144)
Mm-hmm.

Luciano (37:00.495)
And when it's not internally consistent, that's like it's the problem isn't things being like, you know, far out of like reality necessarily. Otherwise, we wouldn't be able to watch anything that's fantasy has magic, but it has to be internally consistent. Like if Wayland Yutani isn't as big a company as it is where you can own a fucking planet and you know, all that stuff. What like, wouldn't they be better at doing this?

Matt (37:03.709)
That's the thing, yeah.

Luciano (37:29.302)
They all fear the company, right? They're all like, we're going to be fucked if they find it, blah, blah, But nothing actually happens in any, like, they don't get a signal that someone is coming after them. don't, like, nothing happens, right? So it's not internally consistent. Uh-oh. I know where this is going.

Chris (37:39.501)
Right.

Matt (37:42.404)
Luciano, I have to ask you a question. It feels like this isn't so much about how technology works, but you're just mad at the movie in general. Because you really haven't mentioned much technology, you're just mad that the planet hasn't revolted.

Luciano (37:53.533)
Luciano (37:59.754)
Yes.

Chris (38:01.005)
Yes and...

Spencer (38:01.68)
Is it cause you're a tall, skinny, pale white guy? And you took personal outrage at the Slender Man?

Luciano (38:07.79)
No, I'm just mad they didn't rise against the bourgeoisie is what I'm saying.

Matt (38:09.39)
Ha ha ha.

Chris (38:09.881)
How dare they depict my likeness and physicality?

Spencer (38:12.262)
Hahaha

Matt (38:17.828)
Listen, there's one part of the technology you mentioned in the pre-show, maybe you should talk about it now. How Ian Holm was going to remotely pilot that ship is beyond me.

Luciano (38:24.686)
Ugh.

Luciano (38:28.714)
yeah it's like no no no i'll fly you i'm in this i'm half of an android sitting sitting yeah in half of a station a station half of a station that's going into a fucking asteroid belt i'll fly you nine years to fucking ivaga that's gonna be fine

Spencer (38:37.144)
half of a chip

Matt (38:38.29)
Yeah.

Chris (38:38.329)
You

Matt (38:45.475)
I got this.

Spencer (38:45.712)
I got you.

Chris (38:48.505)
I'm an uncooked waffle and I see that you've just entered my establishment, my brunch establishment. Have a seat. I'm gonna cook you a AAA Michelin Star brunch breakfast. I'm half a waffle. I'm half a waffle and I got you.

Spencer (38:50.344)
you

Luciano (39:00.245)
Yeah, no, it's...

Spencer (39:01.436)
Waffles cooking?

Luciano (39:04.194)
Yeah, yeah, it's weird. that whole and you know, we were talking about this in the pre show was like, maybe he transferred his consciousness to the ship. No, didn't. Because they could turn him off and he got fucked when he turned him off. Right.

Chris (39:17.721)
You can say, I'm so glad to you made it. No, no, no, no.

Luciano (39:23.347)
What are you doing? Yeah, so that's not the only problem that I have. Should we do just a quick, I'm actually here. Is this the time?

Chris (39:31.893)
It feels... It feels...

Matt (39:32.47)
my God. Does no one, no one respect the podcast? It's fine. Go, go ahead. Clearly no one does.

Luciano (39:37.066)
No. No, I, so I just wanted to say, this is something that is actually in line with other stuff we were saying, the rehash of things. But like, you go into an alien movie, you know that the xenomorphs make no fucking sense. Like in, in about two hours, even the first movie that takes a long time, like the facehugger is on that. I don't remember the character's name, but it was on their face for a long time before it actually got enough.

DNA juice to make a chest burst. I don't know how that works. I know. And, and like that face that chest burster goes from like a, I don't know, like a pincher, like a corgi size thing to like a fucking xenomorph in the span of a few minutes. So we, we know that, but like, in this case, they took the xenomorph out of the virus face pretty quickly.

Spencer (40:08.333)
Why is everything juice?

Chris (40:09.419)
It's the ju- The juice is-

Matt (40:14.756)
Mm-mm.

Luciano (40:34.03)
And we're like, I give it a 60 40 chance. It was like, come on, dude, this is an alien movie. It's a hundred percent chance she has a fucking thing in there. But I thought it was like, here's going to be where it's going to be different. They're going to leave it there for a lot longer because he has to cook for a lot longer. And then it's going to burst where like in the worst possible moment. I was like, this is clap. Nope. Immediately fucking burst. Done.

Spencer (40:59.58)
Well, maybe the that face hugger was a little excited and it happened a little faster than a normal. It's a compliment. I think.

Luciano (41:04.366)
I see it suffered. It was suffering from premature incubation. Is that what you're saying? The best of us. Yeah.

Matt (41:04.696)
It was his first time. He hasn't experienced it before.

Chris (41:06.263)
You know? You know?

Spencer (41:12.69)
Heheheheeee

Chris (41:12.915)
Ayyyy

Matt (41:14.388)
It happens to all the facehuggers.

Luciano (41:20.298)
No, no, it's a medical condition. I'm not changing anyone.

Matt (41:23.62)
Exactly, you get it.

Spencer (41:24.486)
I think most women would be actually flattered.

Matt (41:27.576)
Flattered. Yeah, I agree.

Chris (41:28.205)
Right, right. Do you suffer from premature incubation?

Luciano (41:31.566)
Are you saying Navarro should be flattered that you got birthed early?

Spencer (41:32.488)
See you later.

I mean, not every woman gets a guy, I mean, an alien, not a guy, not an alien to burst early, okay?

Chris (41:37.657)
Are you a

Luciano (41:45.667)
That's fair. No, yeah, something special about her.

Chris (41:47.001)
Hi, my name is Facehugger1 and I'm not only the president, but I'm also a client.

Spencer (41:49.34)
It was a connection.

Luciano (41:54.766)
Anyway, what I was saying is like, all of it happens too fast. That is what she said. And she had X-ray evidence that it happened too fast. But it's like the thing burst out a lot smaller than usually is suddenly it was a... I know. But then suddenly it was fully grown and fully hard.

Spencer (42:03.548)
That's what she said.

Chris (42:04.409)
Yeah.

Matt (42:04.644)
Hahaha

Spencer (42:15.976)
That's what she said.

Chris (42:18.105)
They couldn't, they couldn't, it, it, hurt.

wow.

Spencer (42:24.008)
Wait, what?

Luciano (42:24.462)
But like the worst for me was at the end when when Kaye injects herself with the fucking the fucking xenomorph booster shot, right?

Chris (42:26.883)
This is...

Chris (42:33.591)
Why, by the way? Go on, Yeah.

Spencer (42:38.393)
I wouldn't want to touch anything in that entire facility with a tentacle while wearing a giant suit.

Chris (42:41.433)
Correct. She's correct.

Luciano (42:41.686)
Yeah.

Yeah, exactly. And she injects herself and I was like, it's gonna mutate and she's gonna become some sort of a hybrid. No, she just got insta like ready to burst like from like two months pregnant, I guess to like 11 months pregnant. That's what it looked like. Yeah, yes to Arnie pregnant. There you go. Yeah.

Chris (42:58.787)
Yeah. To Will Ferrell pregnant. Yes. yes.

Spencer (43:07.762)
And was Slender Man born that big?

Luciano (43:10.218)
No, it was born like a little baby inside the cocoon and then it grew to like, you know, Phil Hartman proportions, right? In like 20 minutes, not even. And all of this is to say, I understand that alien doesn't care about the law of conservation of energy, but come on. It's like, it's too much for me to believe even within the alien thing.

Chris (43:10.359)
No, it was a baby.

Spencer (43:14.295)
yeah, that's right.

Chris (43:15.807)
Old school Will Ferro running down the streets. That's right, Phil Hartman. Okay, yes.

Less, less.

Spencer (43:38.96)
Yeah, I mean, I agree that that's probably a little bit. Everything happened a little bit too fast. They could have just had space in between, know, like in the original Alien movie, they just cut and then it's like the guy's on the table, you know, and you're like, you don't know how long it's been.

Luciano (43:48.161)
Yeah, yeah.

Luciano (43:52.982)
Yeah. Now, a lot of things could have started happening like they could like she could have injected herself with the thing way earlier. Right.

Spencer (44:02.652)
I mean, the whole ejection thing is probably one of the stupidest parts of the whole movie. I mean, even the scene where they find the vial, it could save your life or something else.

Luciano (44:04.876)
Bunkers. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Chris (44:04.985)
is completely

Luciano (44:12.878)
No, like the way Ian Holmes says it, he's like, humans share 25 % of DNA with rats and it worked on the rat. Like, what? Exactly.

Spencer (44:22.568)
That's not a good number. And if you look 10 feet to your left, you'll see a rat cage exploded with black goo. Like, they didn't even look around. I mean, there's a table.

Chris (44:24.664)
No.

Chris (44:33.987)
Despite all my chances I am still just a field

Luciano (44:37.218)
And actually, this goes to a point and I know we're kind of going all over the place here, but this goes to a point where they were something you mentioned in the pre show Matt, which is everybody in this fucking thing is so dumb. And like, not not just dumb, but they're all equally dumb. Like they all make dumb decisions. I feel like he's just bitching about this movie now.

Spencer (44:51.848)
Except Angie.

Spencer (45:06.044)
Yeah, I mean, I like this is where we become Luciano's diary.

Chris (45:07.242)
Listen, just put the garnish on, man. You've this far, man. Just keep moving, man.

Luciano (45:15.372)
There you go.

Spencer (45:16.584)
I don't agree they're all so dumb. mean, like, what are you gonna do? A lot of the situations there kind of didn't have many choices. Except for the injection into the thing there. That was, that was dumb.

Chris (45:24.727)
Very dumb.

Matt (45:25.376)
Everything Banjo did was dumb. Sorry, Beard, my bad.

Luciano (45:29.319)
Benjo! No, it's Benjo now! It's Benjo now!

Chris (45:31.071)
Banjo? No, no, no. Put respect on his character's name. His name is Banjo. Yeah.

Matt (45:38.308)
Why would you stick a cow prod into an alien pod and think that was going to solve the problem?

Spencer (45:38.428)
What did Banjo do that was so dumb?

Luciano (45:38.552)
Yeah.

Chris (45:40.565)
Everything.

Chris (45:46.411)
Yeah

Spencer (45:47.036)
Well, could you use the alien that the shock prod on the face hugger and it works?

Chris (45:52.185)
Yeah.

Matt (45:52.503)
Yeah, but that's.

Spencer (45:54.216)
That's not a giant wall vagina, I know.

Matt (45:55.799)
It's not.

Luciano (45:56.558)
Giant wolf vagina! Yeah, no, it is what you called it. It is what it is. Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

Chris (45:59.289)
Correct.

Spencer (46:01.256)
I call it like, like I seize it, okay?

Matt (46:06.244)
Like, on a thing that you've seen jump into your friend's face, very excitedly incubate her. It's normal everybody, it happens to everyone. And then have something burst out of her, you're like this tiny little electrical thing which shocked the tiny little face jumper, definitely gonna take care of whatever is in this wall of vagina. Like it just.

Spencer (46:14.396)
Yeah. Yeah.

Matt (46:33.028)
Listen, he might be a dumb character, but that doesn't take away from the fact that he is dumber than a dumb character.

Spencer (46:40.082)
mean, you say that, but what if it worked? Then he'd be a hero.

Luciano (46:40.334)
You

Chris (46:43.157)
same time like

Luciano (46:44.139)
Yeah, you know, what if my grandma had real should be a bicycle like that doesn't matter

Spencer (46:47.848)
I knew you were gonna say that before you said it. Son of a bitch. I just got bicycled. Bicycled live on air.

Matt (46:48.809)
Ha ha ha ha ha.

Chris (46:51.479)
I don't know like...

Matt (46:52.548)
You played yourself.

Chris (46:56.791)
You, you sir, you sir, gentlemen aren't a scholar. my God. When shit starts to go south and you survive, like a bunch of critters, like bum rush you and you get out of that room and you get out of that like first section, and one of your crew gets face hugged, I don't care what else is happening. If we can help that person, great, but like,

Mission is over. The mission is over. I'm not gonna waste time. Yeah! Survival priority one. No, we can still get the stuff. Yeah, but like, we're being chased, bro. Like, no. I will see you on the ship. I am locking this ship down, period.

Spencer (47:31.432)
Game over, man! Game over!

Luciano (47:32.767)
Yeah, it is.

Matt (47:45.77)
It is, so here's the thing, it's not that one person does this, because that's fine, everyone should be able to react differently. It's that the movie says humans are crazy irrational creatures and synthetics are sociopathic, unemotional monsters. And those are the only two characters you get.

Luciano (47:50.614)
It's that all of them do it.

Luciano (48:01.864)
Yeah, yes.

Chris (48:02.541)
and extremely tactical too.

Spencer (48:04.466)
Where were you built, Luziano?

Luciano (48:07.79)
in either place, cause there's a, there's a hybrid going on, but yeah, it's, it is stupid. And I, I, it's something that you said Chris, in the beginning that you liked, like the dynamic between, Andy and, and rain. And I was, I was, I liked the fact that he like changed personality completely when he got the, like the, the upgrade DVD there.

Matt (48:13.678)
Yeah.

Spencer (48:14.032)
good. Still tracks.

Spencer (48:24.453)
Andy?

Chris (48:25.197)
Right, and ring, yeah.

Chris (48:33.347)
Ship upgrade? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Luciano (48:37.255)
But like, I hated the fact that he went back to being exactly the same as he was before just because he took it away and he was like the same character again.

Matt (48:48.236)
And that's why the plot hole was how does technology work? Great job, everybody.

Luciano (48:51.406)
Ayyyy, nicely done!

Chris (48:53.731)
If you give us enough time, you give us enough time.

Spencer (48:59.068)
I mean that just shows he's just a computer. He's just a computer!

Luciano (48:59.106)
Yeah.

Chris (49:02.605)
Yeah, yeah.

Luciano (49:04.611)
As he says, like, I got a much overdue AI upgrade. But like, is it conditional to having the thing installed? That doesn't make any sense.

Matt (49:10.446)
Didn't he download and upgrade?

Chris (49:14.649)
I think that's what happened,

Matt (49:15.342)
But like, he stood around and downloaded, right? And that's why they were trying to like...

Spencer (49:19.376)
It's a very analog future, boys. You gotta keep it plugged into the rotor.

Luciano (49:19.584)
Yeah. Yeah. Also, also on the technology front, why, what was, what was it that she was doing every time he glitched, was she winding himself wind up toy?

Chris (49:20.344)
Whoa.

Matt (49:21.846)
No but it-

Chris (49:32.213)
Yeah, that's the hard reset. She's like, she's a hot. and then like,

Spencer (49:36.872)
You're blow on it, you're gonna blow on it.

Matt (49:38.358)
Now that they were on technology, how does cryogenics keep a synthetic alive?

Luciano (49:47.499)
That's a good question.

Matt (49:48.462)
How does a synthetic die?

Spencer (49:51.688)
How does your computer die?

Chris (49:53.315)
Well, Rook survived, air quotes, half of him. He waffled half-ly.

Luciano (50:02.218)
What's with you and why are you hungry?

Spencer (50:04.328)
Have you eaten waffles this morning?

Matt (50:06.158)
Yeah

Chris (50:06.681)
Listen, my electrolytes are really low right now and what I'm channeling is waffles right now, so I need some protein.

Matt (50:10.404)
Apparently.

Spencer (50:13.344)
I need some... I'm drinking a dangerously low amount of syrup this morning.

Luciano (50:16.366)
There he was, Yen Home, there he was, waffling maple syrup dripping off of him. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Chris (50:22.893)
Anybody got some mucilix? Listen, the next time we record, it should be inside of a Denny's. Let's get some mucilix and melba toast going.

Matt (50:23.8)
Maybe some maybe some side bacon or some sausage. I don't know.

Spencer (50:32.168)
Everyone, everyone Bjorn got melted by that hot syrup. Sorry Banjo.

Chris (50:36.363)
Yeah, it was green. Do-ba-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do. Yep.

Luciano (50:36.877)
Hahaha

Matt (50:38.66)
You banjo?

Luciano (50:42.35)
Yeah.

Matt (50:44.844)
acid power.

Luciano (50:46.584)
Nice.

Spencer (50:46.92)
You

Chris (50:47.961)
technology, grab the corridor with gravity and in order to like get through, that was pretty sick actually.

Matt (50:56.248)
Did you just fucking play cards against humanity and just pulled out words and put them together? Yeah, cards against Dino Morse.

Spencer (50:56.338)
What? What a sequitur.

Luciano (50:56.428)
That's

Luciano (51:00.766)
Humanity? Cards against xenomorphs.

Spencer (51:04.264)
Hey, hey, hey, hey, that mining scene pretty cool. I'm just saying.

Chris (51:09.593)
See? See? Pretty. Interesting.

Matt (51:09.646)
Pretty... Pretty cool!

Luciano (51:14.252)
No, actually, that's a that's something we can like a lot of this movie suffers from this is some good ideas. You can see that there were some good ideas, but they felt the need to go back and make references to the old movies like that. That idea of like turning the gravity off, shooting people with the super high tech gun that apparently, you know, there's technology for that. And then.

Spencer (51:15.016)
Speaking of technology, that auto aiming gun, pretty good.

Matt (51:40.61)
Yes. No.

Spencer (51:41.372)
but not HDTVs.

Luciano (51:42.626)
go through the like dodging, like doing like a little bit of a platformer action with the acid. That was a pretty good idea. The freezing the tail of the facehugger to try and get it off from, like all things that, like I thought in the beginning when that happened, I thought they were gonna juxtapose like, okay, it is similar, but here's a different group of people dealing with this in a different, nope, nope.

Chris (51:45.785)
the acid. Yes. Yes.

Chris (51:56.601)
Smart ideas.

Spencer (52:10.696)
differently.

Luciano (52:11.894)
No, same fucking shit.

Spencer (52:14.216)
I do think that they shouldn't have gotten a Ripley kind of clone. That's like a little too on the nose.

Luciano (52:19.678)
I mean, they try to make rain be kind of a little bit like Ripley at the end.

Chris (52:22.819)
Totally.

Spencer (52:24.008)
No, they did. That's what I'm saying. And then she even has like the tank top at the end with the gun. And I'm like, like, guys, we can have new ideas. It's no, it's okay. It's okay to do different things. Alien. The movie Alien exists and it's not going anywhere. You know, that it's the universe is cool. Let's have like a different, like, I liked, I liked the theme of having a female character because like that was a big cool thing about the original. It could be a different woman.

Luciano (52:30.114)
Yeah. You already have alien in the name of the movie. You don't have to keep reminding us what it is. Yeah.

Luciano (52:51.534)
Yeah, especially back then.

Spencer (52:53.224)
could be like a completely different woman who doesn't look at all like Ripley, doesn't have like an homage where she's wearing the same outfits and that stuff is like two on the nose.

Luciano (52:59.862)
Yeah, where she's like ready to go into hibernation, but then she has to go into some sort of like a huge suit to escape the alien and then blow it out of the airlock again.

Chris (53:01.494)
on the nose.

Chris (53:12.825)
Hmm.

Matt (53:14.36)
Technically he jumped out the airlock. I think.

Luciano (53:17.355)
Yeah, I did like the die motherfucker part because it was very cathartic at the end, but yeah.

Chris (53:21.803)
Yeah, much like the, okay, I'll I'll keep that to myself. But I think the best way to subvert, again, like plus wanting your point, Luciano, of like good ideas, some executed well, some not so executed, was again, upgraded Andy. When he was going, that whole section, that whole chapter, because like we got another,

Luciano (53:39.392)
Yeah, it was a good idea.

Chris (53:46.777)
I was here for it. So when they when they're in the lab and they're like looking at the the vials and shit like that And he's like, do you know how to do know how to do? know how to use this gun and then the guys and then the guy whatever his name is Tex or whatever the fuck his name was and then he's like Yeah, how to use it use it and he gives Chad and then then then and then Andy's like, all right. All right. Here you go You can't fucking use it cuz their blood is

Luciano (54:02.734)
Tex. Ched.

Chris (54:13.177)
the blood is acid and it will all die, I'll breach on like, you just, you just 180'd on him. I love it. And then when they were trying to get through, they were, that chase scene from the, from the facehuggers and then they're all like, dude, you almost trapped us in there with the facehuggers. like, but I didn't, I calculated it. Bro, yeah.

Luciano (54:29.676)
Now, but that goes back to Matt's point. That goes back to Matt's point. like, he got the upgrade and he immediately became a raging asshole. there's not like, why? It doesn't have to be that way.

Spencer (54:31.506)
bruv I calculated bruv

Spencer (54:39.612)
Yeah?

Spencer (54:44.806)
No, but I like that because he was the program that he upgraded himself with was obviously like corrupt, not corrupted, but it was like its main. Its main purpose was to make him be like pro for the company, right?

Chris (54:48.919)
It changed him.

Influence over influencing.

Luciano (54:54.54)
Yeah, but that makes...

Chris (54:58.809)
corporate, a corporate man.

Luciano (54:59.415)
That's fine, but like that makes the way that Rook is be like uninteresting because it's not that he's an asshole. It's just his programming. No, but it shouldn't be. It's yes. Androids are people. Don't be like that. No, like honestly, like in the first movie until you discover that Ash is an android, you believe he's human. There's no indication, right?

Spencer (55:08.658)
Well, yeah, that's all the androids. You think androids are real people? They're not data.

Matt (55:16.964)
Hmm. Hmm.

Luciano (55:27.47)
I understood all I've always understood that the synthetics have their own personalities in alien. Yeah, right. Exactly. So like, I understand there being some override thing like, you know, changing the prime directive, that was fine. But like, he was like, No, no, no, I timed it perfectly. I knew it. Shut up. You're being a dick. No, he didn't. I didn't.

Spencer (55:32.924)
I mean, they definitely infer that with Bishop in Aliens, that he's actually a good android.

Spencer (55:52.082)
Maybe he did time it perfectly. Yeah. And he overcame the program. He overcame the program and turned it good in the end.

Chris (55:53.165)
I of believed him. I believed him.

Luciano (55:55.638)
I didn't believe him at all. For a second.

Matt (55:56.787)
Matt (56:01.23)
Listen, as much as I've enjoyed Luciano hotjacking the podcast for half an hour to talk about whatever the fuck he wants to talk about,

Spencer (56:07.622)
Yeah, what the hell? I feel like I'm in a fucking...

Matt (56:09.844)
fucking barely. And you fucking steamed right through that back out the fucking porthole.

Luciano (56:09.966)
and brought it back to technology, eventually.

Spencer (56:15.706)
You

Matt (56:21.412)
I think that it might be the time to ask some fun questions about this movie. I think there's some things we don't understand about the characters and motivations, things that are happening in the movie. I think by answering them, we might clear things up. So really simple one, think first, how do aliens reproduce actually? Because the movie shows us 25 25, maybe 30 minutes stops, know, start to end.

Luciano (56:26.702)
All right.

Matt (56:50.838)
xenomorph. what goes on in there? How does that all? Yeah.

Chris (56:54.278)
Ding!

Spencer (56:55.986)
What comes first, the xenomorph or the facehugger?

Matt (56:58.916)
That's a great question.

Luciano (56:59.938)
That is a great question.

Chris (57:01.913)
Can't, can't see.

Matt (57:02.048)
Answer it. You coward. Answer it, you coward!

Spencer (57:03.048)
It's like the chicken to the egg. It's the chicken to the egg.

Well, see this is where it gets all confusing. Because the Queen lays the eggs that make the facehuggers that then facehug the people prematurely incubate them, which then makes the xenomorph, but then what makes the Queen?

Chris (57:09.45)
Chris (57:13.977)
Mm-hmm.

Luciano (57:16.309)
Right.

Chris (57:19.821)
Yeah.

Matt (57:25.315)
obviously.

Luciano (57:27.852)
How does the Queen get born? Yeah.

Matt (57:29.794)
Well, like, I'm going to apply B Law to this and say however bees do it, xenomorphs do it. So we can move on.

Chris (57:37.433)
Hmm

Spencer (57:37.736)
That's fair. That's fair. So they dance.

Luciano (57:40.168)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Matt (57:42.02)
I believe it's a rain dance where they sacrifice one of the bees to the bee gods. They drink that blood and then of the blood drinkers, it's a big old blood orgy and then somebody births the queen.

Spencer (57:48.36)
Hmm.

Spencer (57:55.463)
Mm-hmm.

Is that what bees do? Obviously. Look it up,

Matt (58:00.323)
Yeah. Look it up.

Chris (58:03.161)
That's exactly like the Jerry Seinfeld B-movie I watched.

Luciano (58:05.589)
We all watch Beekeeper. He explains how it works in there.

Chris (58:10.166)
Indeed.

Matt (58:10.694)
Yeah.

Spencer (58:11.676)
I love my base. I love my god damn base.

Luciano (58:13.07)
I love my bees because they bathe in blood. That's why I love my bees.

Matt (58:15.822)
I love my blood orgies.

Spencer (58:17.584)
I love my bees. You'll pay them, but I'd like my bees.

Chris (58:20.505)
Buzz, Buzz, I told you to start fucking talking.

Matt (58:24.6)
Anyway, so that's how bees reproduce, but I'm curious about aliens.

Luciano (58:25.26)
That bee's a feet bird.

Chris (58:26.435)
Yes.

Spencer (58:27.336)
I'm glad we covered that. Yeah, so I think that when an alien queen and a daddy alien... No, think the aliens can become facehuggers. That's my theory. No, not at all.

Luciano (58:34.998)
and a mummy and a xenomorph and a daddy xenomorph love each other very much.

Chris (58:49.139)
almost like Benjamin Button?

Chris (58:54.635)
Okay. No. Not out of, not, no. Different direction.

Spencer (58:56.456)
No, like, imagine like, when they die, their body creates like spores that then like, become the egg sacs. Like they're the perfect weapon, the xenomorphs. I like to the Queen, I mean, between you and me, really Scott hated the idea. So in his original lore, there was no Queen. I think they were like asexual, like

Luciano (58:57.748)
Yes, except no.

Chris (59:06.136)
Matt (59:07.832)
The Xenomorphs or the Facehuggers or the Queens?

Luciano (59:25.676)
Yeah, the reproduction, I mean, we're not supposed to be answering this in Canon, but yeah.

Spencer (59:26.447)
Auto.

Spencer (59:33.82)
I'll put you in a cannon.

Luciano (59:35.852)
Well, maybe that's how they reproduce, by putting each other in a cannon.

Luciano (59:41.762)
Kieth?

Matt (59:44.138)
Yeah, they they shoot their cannons at the Kiev and you get you get facehuggers

Spencer (59:47.64)
Hahaha

Luciano (59:50.195)
Or maybe what happened is what we saw with the Slenderman. They shoot eggs from their front butt. But just the Xenomorphs have different types of front butts. That's how they do it. Yeah?

Chris (01:00:00.537)
Some are flat, some are bubbly, some are dummy thick.

Matt (01:00:05.486)
That's that's moving on.

Luciano (01:00:06.903)
Yeah.

Luciano (01:00:10.766)
You

Matt (01:00:11.972)
we all watched the opening of this movie where they're on a, I love this about sci-fi. The entire planet is dedicated to mining for reasons. That's metals. Things you need. and other things. They could be mining food for all we know. We don't know how mining works in the future. Sacks of grain, perhaps. and, and so it's obvious from this that Walmart was successful in their buyout of the

Luciano (01:00:19.36)
Of course. Mining what? Nobody knows. Metals.

Chris (01:00:26.179)
milk.

See?

Spencer (01:00:30.76)
Pepsi.

Matt (01:00:41.174)
Weyland-Yutani Corporation. I just want to know how Walmart got that deal done.

Chris (01:00:43.033)
you

Spencer (01:00:48.296)
Well, in the franchise wars of the late 21st century.

Luciano (01:00:51.758)
Are we talking demolition men now?

Chris (01:00:57.176)
Yes.

Luciano (01:00:57.878)
Yes?

Matt (01:00:58.468)
Sure, that's yeah.

Spencer (01:00:59.881)
Walmart after acquiring Amazon.

Chris (01:01:02.369)
and Best Buy. Yeah.

Matt (01:01:07.447)
Obviously.

Spencer (01:01:07.464)
It needed to take

Luciano (01:01:08.192)
I mean, the Slenderman does look like Jeff Bezos. I'll just leave that here.

Spencer (01:01:12.337)
I'm just saying, and they have slave labor. They didn't get that from anywhere. And after acquiring Amazon, they thought, is there any other companies that use slave labor?

Luciano (01:01:15.95)
Oof. Oof.

Luciano (01:01:24.718)
Who else can we make pee in bottles?

Spencer (01:01:27.496)
And they're like, well, with the advancement of AI, I'd like to acquire this company that makes these androids that you can make into slaves without even having to give them food. That'll cut our, that'll increase our profits by 0.00072%.

Luciano (01:01:45.346)
Yeah, I think it really started as an idea from some VP of something where they said, we are paying the greeters way too much money. Can we have some sort of synthetic humanoid be greeters so we don't have to pay them?

Chris (01:01:55.033)
Mmm

Matt (01:02:01.475)
Good, because the greeters die way too fast. You have to train new greeters. So if you just got, you know, Android greeters, then you don't have to train anymore. Yeah. Yeah.

Chris (01:02:08.193)
loss of time just waving all the time

Luciano (01:02:09.069)
Yeah.

Spencer (01:02:10.056)
And then one of the other BPs said, can I get one for my new wife? That was there.

Luciano (01:02:11.756)
They don't need vacation. Yeah.

Matt (01:02:18.698)
And that's how Spencer met his wife.

Luciano (01:02:22.702)
Well, that took a turn.

Spencer (01:02:23.324)
The metagandroid. She's here with me now. Don't worry. Her mouth's always open because she's shocked.

Luciano (01:02:30.134)
Hahaha!

Matt (01:02:30.899)
you

Hope she doesn't listen

Spencer (01:02:35.336)
Yeah

Matt (01:02:38.636)
I think that's exactly how it happened word for word. I don't think we need to go too much further into that. let's, yeah, that's, that's a different question.

Luciano (01:02:43.926)
Well, I think that was pretty clear. I think that's how it was filed in the FCC.

Chris (01:02:45.399)
Walmart Power!

Matt (01:02:49.29)
Yeah, I would assume. Different question. What do you think a xenomorph's perfect Sunday is?

Luciano (01:02:59.042)
Sunday the ice cream or the day? Okay. Clearly.

Matt (01:03:00.738)
Yes, you pick what you want. I asked the questions. I don't explain them.

Chris (01:03:05.049)
Every zoom Xenomorph is a unique snowflake and I think each Xenomorph has an innermost yearning to seek out and explore the environment from which it inhabits. And so if it's on a space station, I think every now and then Xenomorph is going to look for some way to find a lawn chair.

put it out on the the on the whole of of that spacecraft just wonder what's out there you know

Luciano (01:03:40.706)
Do you think that when they talk to each other they use the big mouth or the small mouth?

Chris (01:03:45.593)
I think it's small mouth because that's where, because everyone's expecting, everyone's expecting, other xenomorphs, but other life forms when they observe the xenomorphs, the xenomorphs have to put on this mask and be like, grrr, don't talk to me. But they really want to say, you know what? I think I should think about going back to orthodontics school.

Luciano (01:03:48.366)
Do have like a tiny voice?

Luciano (01:04:01.266)
right.

Matt (01:04:07.46)
That's where the true feelings come from, is the little mouth. The big mouth is like rage, but-

Luciano (01:04:08.43)
Yeah, yeah. Every time the little mouth comes out, it's like everybody gets scary, but they want, yeah, all they want is human, some human connection.

Chris (01:04:09.911)
That's right. If you stop and listen.

Chris (01:04:15.929)
Yeah, it really wants to talk. They're like, come on! Yeah, everyone reacts, maybe. Everyone reacts with the rage and that's their default, right? It's like, if you come at me with rage, I'm gonna come back at you with rage, tomorrow! But if you say, you know what, are you happy? I say no more.

Spencer (01:04:23.912)
Maybe they want a little, maybe they want a little kid.

Luciano (01:04:26.444)
Yeah.

Matt (01:04:27.332)
Yeah.

Matt (01:04:37.548)
It's, it's...

The other, Chris, the other problem is that it's, you know how humans have this habit when like someone doesn't speak their language, like we raise our voices, that's the main, I think xenomorphs honestly are just trying to like talk to humans and they're raising their voice, but because they speak xenomorph and not, you know, English or whatever, it's just lost in translation.

Luciano (01:04:49.156)
Yeah.

Luciano (01:04:58.776)
Right.

Spencer (01:05:00.52)
And then they're like, they can't hear me. have to say it inside their heads.

Luciano (01:05:02.871)
no, know, yeah, I know what it also is. You know how there's some languages that use different sounds like clicks? They use small mouth bumps when they talk. It's not their fault that ours calls are too flimsy to take it. Yeah, they just want to say hello. They just want to say hello.

Chris (01:05:03.512)
Yeah.

Matt (01:05:03.864)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Chris (01:05:11.543)
Yeah, so.

Matt (01:05:15.556)
Yeah, a little nuzzle, a little key, a little smash to your brain. Yeah.

Spencer (01:05:21.424)
Have you heard of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ?

Chris (01:05:22.049)
If you... If you put Bob Ross...

Luciano (01:05:24.236)
Hahaha!

Matt (01:05:26.116)
you

Luciano (01:05:28.686)
man, can you imagine a xenomorph Jehovah's Witness? What a fucking hell.

Spencer (01:05:29.138)
Heh. Heh.

I'm just trying to the message. Yeah.

Matt (01:05:32.996)
So if I understand, they spend their Sundays going around trying to convert humans.

Luciano (01:05:40.042)
They put on like a short sleeve shirt, like a button up short sleeve shirt that says Elder Xenomorph and they go door to door. Yeah, I think we found it.

Spencer (01:05:42.642)
Well, Sunday is the day of rest.

Matt (01:05:44.12)
Yeah, that's fair. Yeah.

Chris (01:05:52.323)
Jedidiah Jedidiah more let us let us let us turn the page Let us turn the page while we are on the on the bridge of this note of the Nostromo and turn our our pages to to Isaacson number Nostromo page 77 D-4. What does the manual say? Well, Jedidiah I didn't read it because you don't listen to me. You never listen to me

Luciano (01:05:56.416)
Jenedia!

Spencer (01:06:19.146)
I'm getting deep into this culture. And Jesus Malt said unto him.

Luciano (01:06:21.506)
Yeah, yeah.

Chris (01:06:26.531)
Yay!

Spencer (01:06:28.541)
You are all my face huggers and I'm your face.

Matt (01:06:30.724)
You

Chris (01:06:31.993)
What? My brain! The equation!

Luciano (01:06:37.784)
You can't call them facehuggers is a slur. You can't call them that. They're taking the word back, but you can't use it. Yeah, that's their word.

Chris (01:06:41.817)
Spencer (01:06:42.38)
yeah, that was tasteless. That's their word.

Matt (01:06:44.939)
That is true.

Luciano (01:06:53.644)
Hahaha!

Chris (01:06:55.855)
Don't put me in your-

Matt (01:06:56.366)
I mean, well, I mean, the only question left is what if, what if the xenomorphs are right and their, Jehovah, so know, God is the only one true God and we're just not listening. What then I ask you.

Luciano (01:06:56.92)
So I think we answered that question, Matt.

Spencer (01:07:10.344)
mean, that's on us. That's on us.

Luciano (01:07:11.83)
That's on us. Yeah, that's not being open mind. They even try to open our minds for us with their little mouths. And yeah.

Matt (01:07:18.914)
Yeah. If only we'd listen or hold up to the little mouth pounding into our face.

Luciano (01:07:26.318)
We are all wordsmiths today.

Chris (01:07:28.313)
mouth pounding. It's tough love.

Matt (01:07:28.74)
The Moth Pound.

I'm a professional.

Spencer (01:07:34.034)
And when the Xenomorph lies down in its lawn chair that you brought up, Chris, does it have a hole for the back of its head to go into?

Chris (01:07:38.925)
Yeah.

Well, they have to shape it and sculpt it, because you know deep down all xenomorphs want to do is sculpt and create things that are close to clay. But that thing, like you have hard shit, for example, that's metal. They've got to use their acid. They suffer for their art. So they've got to use the acid to shape it and then put their head to fit.

Spencer (01:08:03.496)
We'll meet all Xenomorphs. Meet all Xenomorphs.

Luciano (01:08:06.082)
Yeah, what do you mean all xenomorphs?

Matt (01:08:09.732)
It's this is what Spencer this is what Jehovah morph wants and so They're honoring Jehovah morph

Spencer (01:08:10.792)
What do you you people?

Luciano (01:08:12.492)
Hahaha.

Spencer (01:08:15.025)
Yeah.

Luciano (01:08:16.822)
Chill!

Spencer (01:08:19.453)
Listen, if that's what he wants, that's what he gets.

Luciano (01:08:21.016)
So I think their chair is like, because that head must be heavy to carry around all day. So I think the head rest is like horizontal so they can lean on it. And there's a little hole for the tail as well.

Chris (01:08:26.585)
They're tired.

Spencer (01:08:26.627)
That's exhausting.

Chris (01:08:30.989)
Maybe they just turn their head and just go like this way. Because you never, like, no, we only see them when they're about that action. Like, to your point, thank you, Matt. Like, what, they have to take a break at some point. And like, I think they like to stargaze. I think they like to sculpt. I think they, they...

Luciano (01:08:38.061)
Yeah.

Luciano (01:08:45.89)
You think they take that like that part of the back of the head is actually like a helmet. They just take it off and

Chris (01:08:51.905)
You know, I would love, I think you're right. think, mm, mm.

Matt (01:08:54.852)
It's like a status symbol, the larger your is. Yeah. Yeah. Bigger is better.

Luciano (01:08:56.108)
Yeah, like a crown or something like that. And they hang it like they got they got home. That was heavy today.

Chris (01:09:00.183)
and underneath.

And you know what, you know what their real heads look like.

Luciano (01:09:06.752)
Hmm. Don't do it. It looks like waffles.

Spencer (01:09:12.668)
What Chris?

Luciano (01:09:14.655)
Matt (01:09:15.667)
to it.

Chris (01:09:15.795)
BUT MY

Luciano (01:09:17.45)
Yeah, of course. Of course.

Matt (01:09:18.82)
Don't do it.

Spencer (01:09:19.202)
Every day we strive further from Jehovah God's light. Sorry, Jehovah Morphs. Sorry, Jehovah Morphs light.

Luciano (01:09:23.32)
From, yeah. This is why Jehovah, this is why Jehovah morph abandoned us.

Matt (01:09:23.748)
Jehovah Morphs guy.

This is, you did. I think we've nailed this question somewhere in that muddled mess.

Spencer (01:09:29.419)
I find you a more died person.

Chris (01:09:35.299)
We baked it!

Luciano (01:09:35.724)
to a cross, we nailed it to a cross some would say.

Matt (01:09:39.662)
some would say. Different question, very simple. Why are there so many X-ray wands on the space station?

Chris (01:09:40.397)
Nailed it.

Spencer (01:09:51.292)
Different question, same answer. Jehovah morph.

Luciano (01:09:53.326)
Yeah. He wants to know what's inside you.

Chris (01:09:55.105)
HAHAHAHA

Matt (01:10:01.188)
So the xenomorphs are walking around with them checking to see if jovo

Spencer (01:10:04.549)
I'm

Luciano (01:10:04.896)
Yeah, that's the prophecy. It will burst out of some human. You just want to know from which one. It's going to be a virgin birth. No face hugger, just chest burster. That's what's going to happen.

Spencer (01:10:09.701)
Spencer (01:10:15.528)
I'd like to think that on that ship they had a large increase of people falling.

Matt (01:10:22.638)
for Jehovah Morph.

Luciano (01:10:22.766)
What does that mean? I see. To find... I see.

Spencer (01:10:23.2)
ass first onto items. So they had to use the x-ray to determine what the issue was. It gets very lonely and clumsy out there in that space.

Matt (01:10:33.676)
It is a lot easier to just x-ray your ass with a stick than it is to put you through an x-ray machine. So I understand why they created it. Yeah.

Spencer (01:10:40.966)
Yeah, and less awkward. They pretend like they're, they pretend like they're scanning their stomach.

Luciano (01:10:42.568)
Also, but also that was a risk, right? It is a risk though, because if they kept losing things up their asses and that's a wand, like they could lose the X-ray up there. It was a danger that they were taking.

Chris (01:10:55.801)
That's a really dumb- this is why that crew died.

Spencer (01:10:55.912)
You just see the guy's... You just see the... They just see the globe coming from the guy's stomach. Johnny! Where's the x-ray? Banjo!

Luciano (01:10:59.016)
Hahaha!

What did you do again? That's the third one this week, Johnny.

Matt (01:11:05.23)
B-Banjo?

Chris (01:11:10.019)
Can you help me? I don't know what you're talking about!

Spencer (01:11:10.376)
It wasn't me! It wasn't me, sir! I can see your- I can see your intestines, Johnny!

Chris (01:11:16.109)
That's it! Was it me, Captain? Have you ever heard of Shaggy?

Luciano (01:11:21.954)
The fuck?

Chris (01:11:23.042)
It wasn't me.

Spencer (01:11:23.751)
What? Every day we stride further from Jehovah's light.

Chris (01:11:28.505)
You know, it's confusing.

Matt (01:11:30.832)
Jehovah's wharf, save us. you know what is confusing? Slenderman. Why Slenderman? What's Slenderman? How is Slenderman? I guess we know when Slenderman. Who? Slenderman. Yeah.

Chris (01:11:36.259)
Mmm. Mmm.

Chris (01:11:42.593)
No Slenderman. Will Ferrell.

Luciano (01:11:42.666)
And who. Yeah, we know who.

Luciano (01:11:48.547)
What?

Spencer (01:11:48.636)
Lenerman was inside us all along, I think.

Matt (01:11:51.272)
That's factually correct.

Spencer (01:11:54.108)
It was inside Kale.

Luciano (01:11:54.552)
Correct? It was inside at least one of us.

Chris (01:11:55.481)
Yeah... H-H-Half of her?

of IT.

Spencer (01:12:01.074)
What's this lore with Slenderman? Like not in this movie, in the Slenderman lore? Yeah.

Matt (01:12:06.094)
The actual Slider Man, he just basically steals you and murders you in a forest.

Spencer (01:12:11.004)
Is there any possible that this is that man and this ship is that forest?

Chris (01:12:16.792)
that's

Matt (01:12:16.918)
Metaphorically speaking, sure.

Spencer (01:12:19.878)
I think you have your answer.

Matt (01:12:22.436)
yeah? You trapped me. You trapped me at my own game. Shit!

Spencer (01:12:23.376)
See you guys.

Luciano (01:12:23.721)
HA HA!

Chris (01:12:25.941)
Hahaha!

I wasted on your own petard of question. dang it. no. He did it to him.

Luciano (01:12:29.902)
A prison of your own making.

Matt (01:12:34.262)
I see no reason to continue this question, so I'm moving on.

Spencer (01:12:35.816)
Good.

Luciano (01:12:36.526)
He killed it dead.

Matt (01:12:41.386)
Andy gets an upgrade stick, USB or like a micro mini disc upgrade, whatever. AOL CD, yeah. But it's miniaturized for his pleasure. He gets an upgrade and he completely changes personality. So if this works here, I think that there's lots of potential to upgrade any of your personal robots slaves as you guys have been.

Luciano (01:12:50.745)
An AOL CD, yeah.

Chris (01:12:52.802)
Hello?

Luciano (01:12:55.126)
Yeah, of course. It's the future. That's why.

Chris (01:12:55.725)
Yeah.

Matt (01:13:11.054)
calling them but personal assistant robots who don't get paid and they're an indentured servitude for the end of time.

Luciano (01:13:15.709)
I don't think any of us called the robot slaves, but okay, carry on. Yeah.

Chris (01:13:18.883)
It was the humans, but yes.

Matt (01:13:19.342)
But you know, you definitely also refer to the robots as slaves for the Walmart organization.

Spencer (01:13:25.34)
Yeah, guilty.

Chris (01:13:25.731)
That is possible.

Luciano (01:13:26.03)
not slaves, happy employees. Again, that's how it was written in the SEC and the FCC filings.

Chris (01:13:29.046)
employees.

Matt (01:13:31.076)
Who don't get paid any money or are effectively indentured servants.

Spencer (01:13:36.58)
Yeah indentured happy employees, I believe is the word.

Matt (01:13:36.952)
My bad. That's okay. That's fair. They're paying, they're getting a paid salary, but all their salary goes to room and board and food. You know, the warehouse they get racked up into at night. But that's the one point here. The point, maybe, probably. My question is, let's say you got one for your house or, you know, for maybe to be your wife. I don't know. I'm not, no judgment. What would the best...

Luciano (01:13:39.024)
Exactly

Spencer (01:13:50.29)
Really a deal.

Spencer (01:14:02.952)
So

Luciano (01:14:04.794)
Hahaha

Matt (01:14:06.148)
If you were to copy somebody, what's the best personality chip to have to be able to put into your personal dedicated assistant who will never be paid or loved?

Luciano (01:14:14.222)
Simp? I see.

Spencer (01:14:19.208)
Well, I'm a masochist, so a Luciano chip? Where's the bell? Hey! Shots fired.

Matt (01:14:20.802)
Mm-hmm. Ooh.

Hehe, got

Luciano (01:14:27.822)
I don't know why I got splash damage on this but sure carry on.

Spencer (01:14:28.316)
got him

Spencer (01:14:34.248)
I mean, I want that chip that like makes them really, you know, I know that they all say that they don't kill people, but I want that really, really not going to kill you chip. Like the one they say for the CEOs, you know, like, cause everyone knows that the one that they sell to people that if the company like really wants to, they can flip a switch and have them kill everybody. But there's those top tier chips that are like, even when that switch goes off, they're not going to kill their CEOs.

Chris (01:14:54.169)
Flip a switch.

Matt (01:15:02.468)
So basically you want them to be subservient to you in every manner, shape or form and have no personality or likeness of their own.

Spencer (01:15:10.246)
Is this my wife robot or my my like cleaning and you know?

Luciano (01:15:13.056)
It's your pick. It's your pick.

Matt (01:15:13.376)
You tell me, it's your robot. can do what you need it to do or to you.

Spencer (01:15:18.524)
I mean, I need my wife, Robot, to have the possibility that she could kill me.

Matt (01:15:23.204)
You just want to live on the edge.

Spencer (01:15:24.584)
You can't just play it safe. It's space of life.

Matt (01:15:28.984)
That's no, it's true. If you're not edging by having your wife choke you to the point of death right before your orgasm, then I don't know if you're living.

Spencer (01:15:35.802)
of near death.

Luciano (01:15:38.286)
hey, slow down, David Carradine, like relax.

Spencer (01:15:42.288)
I mean, what is love, if not the ability to kill each other, but not doing it? Yeah, they don't hurt me when she, but she could, if she wanted to.

Chris (01:15:46.841)
Lady, don't hurt me, don't hurt me some more.

Luciano (01:15:48.27)
I thought he was gonna go into it, yeah. Yeah.

Matt (01:15:55.94)
Mm-hmm.

Chris (01:15:56.857)
hurt me some more. Just bring me to the precipice and walk back. Walk back. He wants there to be a sin.

Luciano (01:15:57.038)
If you don't have to ask for them not to hurt you, what's the fun in that? Is what you're saying.

Spencer (01:16:05.768)
Yeah, because when you play that song by, say the band, Hataway, thank you. So when you play that Hataway hit, would be meaningless if my robot wife couldn't hurt me. And I play that song a lot.

Luciano (01:16:10.647)
head away.

Chris (01:16:11.645)
thank you.

Luciano (01:16:17.272)
Couldn't hurt you. Yeah.

Matt (01:16:18.777)
Right.

Luciano (01:16:20.974)
On a less creepy note, I think it would be fun if they had like a Bob Ross personality, where it would just be like nice and soothing and paint some pictures. Happy little facehuggers.

Spencer (01:16:23.36)
on a loop on my Alexa.

Matt (01:16:24.493)
Fuck.

Chris (01:16:29.514)
Yeah

Chris (01:16:33.913)
show.

Matt (01:16:33.954)
Happy little Xenomorphs.

Spencer (01:16:36.882)
But you don't want the no kill me chip. Bob Ross, you'd be cool with him killing you.

Matt (01:16:42.18)
Yeah.

Luciano (01:16:42.638)
Yeah, off of 100%. Yeah.

Chris (01:16:44.281)
I just gotta let you know that we're gonna paint this little tree here and when I'm done with that little tree, I'm gonna end your life.

Spencer (01:16:44.584)
I mean if he is

Luciano (01:16:49.858)
Yeah. Yeah. I'm gonna clean this brush and beat the cinemorph out of it.

Chris (01:16:52.887)
You know, I'm not gonna paint yo, I'm gonna paint, I'm gonna paint your corpse in my paint.

They will slap you. They slap you a little bit. And then make you ask for the release of death. And then I ain't gonna give it

Spencer (01:17:13.446)
Are you finished honey? Okay.

Chris (01:17:14.617)
TOGETHER!

Luciano (01:17:17.216)
What? No, stop! No. This was then, this is now, there's no gavel.

Matt (01:17:22.104)
I think the key to a good catchphrase Chris is you can't make up six new ones every episode. Cause then no one's sure what your catchphrase is. I like that you brought back gavel, but it's, you know, we're working on it. Gavel's the top contender.

Luciano (01:17:29.762)
Yeah, it just sounds like you're having an aneurysm.

Spencer (01:17:36.674)
Every day we strive further from Jehovah morphed light. Like that catchphrase.

Matt (01:17:41.124)
final, final question.

Rain's dad or Andy's dad? We're not sure on that one. But Rain's dad. Right, but so it's not his dad.

Spencer (01:17:53.576)
And he's a robot.

Luciano (01:17:54.828)
Yeah. Andy's dad is Walmart.

Chris (01:17:56.835)
Adopted dead.

Matt (01:17:59.156)
Yeah, well, I guess Andy's caretaker? It's fine. Andy's like a pet to him, guess. It's like, you know, having a dog or a cat. Anyways.

Spencer (01:17:59.939)
Yeah

Chris (01:18:03.001)
Bezos?

Luciano (01:18:05.624)
True.

Spencer (01:18:06.696)
Take your time, Matt, you'll get there.

Luciano (01:18:12.141)
The person who found Andy in the trash.

Matt (01:18:15.534)
Big no. So the person who found Andy in the trash reprogrammed Andy so that Andy would do whatever is best for rain, quote unquote. But I'm pretty, and also to tell terrible dad jokes. But that's not the only thing he did. You know, if you're going in there and you're programming this friend, there's probably a couple other secret things you're going to slide in there just for you and no one's watching or like.

Spencer (01:18:17.202)
Yeah.

Luciano (01:18:17.332)
Hahaha!

Luciano (01:18:43.053)
Right.

Matt (01:18:43.716)
Maybe you like to just unwind and talk smack about the corporation or maybe you want to go play some future sports ball, whatever it might be. And so in order to do that, Andy's got to know how to play. So I'm just wondering what secret, what do you think the secret programming that Rainstead would have put into Andy to help him live on this desolate mining planet?

Chris (01:19:09.561)
Mm-hmm.

Luciano (01:19:09.838)
Well, the first top directive, even more than doing what's best for Rain is being extremely good at purple nurples, I think. That's what her dad liked, really. That was what he lived for. Purple nurples. Now, but he could. When he was... Andy cannot get purple nurples. He tried a lot. Yeah.

Chris (01:19:21.249)
Mmm. Mmm.

Spencer (01:19:23.688)
But what? But he can't get them anymore.

Spencer (01:19:29.04)
Okay, alright. Is any given the purple nipples or getting the purple nipples?

Chris (01:19:29.673)
Andy, I'm a Andy, I'm Andy's dad.

Matt (01:19:29.87)
Who, Andy or Rainn's dad?

And he's just sitting there and raised that like the watch. Yeah, you twist those niffs. You twist them so good.

Spencer (01:19:39.142)
you

Chris (01:19:39.193)
Yeah

Luciano (01:19:39.374)
yeah. But then he was disappointed because when something did change color, it became white.

Spencer (01:19:42.088)
Why why was I programmed for this? Why was I programmed to feel pain? Very very yeah

Chris (01:19:44.761)
I'm okay with this. I'm okay with this.

Matt (01:19:55.244)
and pleasure at the same time.

Luciano (01:19:56.174)
Why do I like this pain so much?

Chris (01:20:00.921)
I can't be free!

Luciano (01:20:01.422)
So I think I would say that that was like top directive.

Spencer (01:20:06.694)
And then he traps. This is a ridiculous image. His eyes are rolling back when he's upgrading.

Luciano (01:20:08.846)
You

Luciano (01:20:15.05)
Yeah. no, he's resetting again. No, no, no, my daughter. That's not a reset. That's an orgasm.

Spencer (01:20:17.704)
You

Spencer (01:20:21.865)
That's not a reason. That's what he was born for.

Matt (01:20:25.06)
No, no, has to tell Rain it was updating for sure. And he's like, why is he making those sounds? It's also part of the update.

Chris (01:20:25.817)
That's ecstasy.

Luciano (01:20:28.494)
Yeah.

Spencer (01:20:31.042)
Yeah, no he's up yeah

Chris (01:20:34.027)
Every time you get an update, this is, want to, you gotta move, you gotta do this.

Luciano (01:20:34.656)
Yeah

It's a new service pack, that's what's happening.

Spencer (01:20:40.776)
I think if he was smart, I'm pretty sure he downloaded the entire film of the fact of the entire trilogy of Shrek for Andy to recreate when needed. Like whenever she's like, you and he, you know.

Luciano (01:20:59.489)
Of course, yeah.

Matt (01:21:00.879)
He's been working through Shrek line by line through the ages. Blades out the parts.

Spencer (01:21:03.91)
Yeah, yeah. So she, he can play all the parts and reenact the, you know, the, all the song by Smash now.

Chris (01:21:11.929)
Do log is, do log is,

Spencer (01:21:15.1)
Somebody once told me where I was going wrong. yeah, he's got to do the intro music. I know that's not the song, but there's another Smash Mouth song and I don't remember which one.

Luciano (01:21:17.55)
he's playing the songs too, that's amazing!

Luciano (01:21:25.752)
Yeah.

Chris (01:21:27.449)
There isn't.

Spencer (01:21:29.628)
You shit your mouth, is. No, that I was thinking, no, there's more. There's more sound.

Luciano (01:21:30.059)
I think it's All-Star, no?

Chris (01:21:30.745)
There isn't. That's the only one. That's it? You still want it? Name another Smash hit by Smash mouth. Off the top of your head. Off the top of your heads!

Matt (01:21:39.398)
I'll find it for you.

Luciano (01:21:40.353)
Then the morning comes walking in the sun, walking in the sun, all star, can get enough of you baby, shut up, Smash Mouth is great.

Matt (01:21:45.476)
What? Yeah. Walking out of the sun.

Spencer (01:21:45.488)
Yeah, walking in the sun, think was...

Chris (01:21:46.539)
Never heard of it. Never heard of it. That one's good. See, I know that one.

Spencer (01:21:51.516)
no, no, the one that's in the Shrek movie is, and then I saw her face done, now I'm a believer. I know, but still, that's the one in the movie. That's one that Andy sings to open the play.

Chris (01:21:56.377)
That's a cover!

Luciano (01:21:56.768)
Which is not, that's a cover. Yeah.

Matt (01:21:56.792)
Yeah, they that's the cover of the monkeys.

Luciano (01:22:03.606)
No, so the problem was that Andy sang every other Smash Mouth song except for that one. That's why it took so long to reprogram. Yeah. There you go.

Spencer (01:22:09.788)
Well, he was that's why he's in the trash. They're like the other test, like, let's try it again. Let's see if he can play walking. Let's see if he could sing walking on the sun. Let's do a press press play. Somebody wants this guy throw this motherfucker in. Somebody you want.

Chris (01:22:12.537)
See? See? I knew you could do it, Spencer.

Matt (01:22:21.39)
weird part.

Luciano (01:22:21.666)
Somebody was there... again?

Matt (01:22:28.772)
The weird part though is that when Andy's, or sorry, Rain's dad got this sorted out, he had to sing this Mashable songs while doing the Purple Nerfles, while updating. Because otherwise he just couldn't get off.

Spencer (01:22:39.816)
While updating.

Luciano (01:22:40.558)
Yeah, of course, without moaning.

Yeah.

Spencer (01:22:47.314)
couldn't get off. Somebody! god. Andy, why? Why were you built this way? Why was I programmed? Why was I programmed to feel pain? And sing Smash Mouth?

Luciano (01:22:52.662)
Yeah, do you think the do you think?

Chris (01:22:54.115)
Thanks.

Matt (01:22:56.355)
You

Luciano (01:22:58.288)
Do you think the first...

Matt (01:22:59.054)
be a little pornier. So BUDDY!

Luciano (01:23:01.907)
Yeah.

You programmed me, bitch! What are you talking about? Yeah.

Matt (01:23:06.574)
Ha

Chris (01:23:13.209)
The cherry on top of this entire situation really comes down to why I...

Andy was programmed to retain secrets such as the ones we have laid bare for our audience of the zero count. Dad or garbage salvager, who shall remain nameless, Jerry, he needed somewhere to, yes, but I didn't do that.

Luciano (01:23:30.846)
Hahaha!

Luciano (01:23:45.282)
BODY! Okay.

Chris (01:23:49.241)
He needed somewhere to lay his innermost truth and be free enough to talk about it without the judgment of the rest of the mining colony. And so when he rescued Andy, he said, listen, there's this thing about animals that I cannot get past and I just want to be the animal. saw in the, like four cycles ago, I saw this.

I saw this mascot armadillo costume and I had to put it on. And you know what? I said to myself, I am the armadillo. I just like to, nobody wants to the armadillo. And I just.

Matt (01:24:32.772)
And then he tweaked the Armadillo's nipples. Yeah.

Luciano (01:24:34.991)
Of course, as one does, yeah.

Chris (01:24:36.729)
The cycle is complete! The prophecy is complete! And Andy couldn't process it. It's like, creator is a furry, is a furry, somebody kill me now!

Matt (01:24:38.675)
Hahaha!

Luciano (01:24:43.438)
That explains all the glitching we see.

Matt (01:24:43.63)
Yeah, thank you.

Spencer (01:24:43.68)
Everyday we try further from Jehovah morphs like

Matt (01:24:47.012)
Yeah.

Luciano (01:24:48.568)
That's, yeah.

Luciano (01:24:54.094)
The purple Nerple situation is why she had to kind of twist the thing behind his ear. Yeah, exactly. Everybody knows. Yeah. Yeah.

Spencer (01:25:02.408)
That's where his nipple is? now it all makes sense.

Matt (01:25:06.476)
He hit them from so that when, rain's rain's dad would come by, it's like, where's your nipples?

Spencer (01:25:08.668)
from his own creator.

Luciano (01:25:12.63)
I don't know. I don't have any. I'm not a mammal.

Chris (01:25:16.358)
He relocated the nipples from here to here to make it look acceptable.

Luciano (01:25:22.56)
Exactly. there it is. That's what it is. Yeah.

Matt (01:25:23.076)
Exactly. All right, we've nailed this completely. I have no further questions or.

Luciano (01:25:27.694)
Thank God.

Spencer (01:25:29.272)
How could you?

Matt (01:25:30.402)
Yeah. No. Let's do what we normally do when we give a review of our movies. It is the S tier system. S is the highest, F is the lowest. And let's go with, we know what Spencer's going to do. Let's skip him. Luciano, why you go first?

Luciano (01:25:47.982)
You don't get it!

Chris (01:25:49.945)
We don't know what the Luciano's gonna do at all.

Spencer (01:25:50.716)
I just don't get to...

Matt (01:25:53.814)
No, we have no idea.

Luciano (01:25:54.19)
I don't think you do know, you probably know. So I went into this movie without any expectations because it had been, I don't know, since whenever Alien 3 came out, that was the last time I saw an Alien movie. I haven't seen Revolution, I haven't seen Prometheus, I haven't seen any of it.

Chris (01:25:57.674)
he knows. He knows. He knows that we know.

Spencer (01:25:59.014)
I think I do.

Spencer (01:26:16.232)
Really?

Matt (01:26:16.42)
1997 or is resurrection.

Luciano (01:26:18.37)
Something like that. Yeah. And I was talking to Matt about this before the show, but like Alien and Terminator, they share a thing where the first movie is good. The second movie is great. And the third movie murdered the franchise to me, for me completely. So I didn't watch anything else. So I was like, I don't know what to expect of a new, like a modern Alien movie. And I thought it was going to be more on the horror side than it was, but I think

Spencer (01:26:36.55)
and both the second one directed by James Cameron.

Luciano (01:26:48.374)
In the beginning, I was hyped because like I said, I saw them doing something different. I thought it was going to stay on the mining colony versus going to the ship. I thought it was going to be like, they're going to try to subvert some of the things that we might have been expecting because of it being sort of, they're calling it a soft reboot or whatever of the franchise. So I was, I think I went in without any expectations and then the beginning of the movie kind of got me hyped and then he disappointed me. So it was a wild ride for me.

In the end, to me though, it was a very bland movie. It didn't go anywhere. There was no character that I really cared for, honestly. Certainly not Banjo. I only really cared about Rain because she was the protagonist. Do I regret watching this movie? No. Would I watch it again? Definitely not. Was it good? I wouldn't recommend someone watching it.

Chris (01:27:28.652)
Nyeh heh heh.

Luciano (01:27:44.654)
For those reasons, I think my rating has to be a D.

Spencer (01:27:50.696)
whoo

Luciano (01:27:51.594)
It's not like it's not good. It's not a good movie and I wouldn't watch it again.

Matt (01:27:55.598)
What a surprise from the man who hijacked the podcast to bitch about the movie. And hates everything.

Chris (01:27:58.829)
Yeah.

Spencer (01:28:00.117)
and hates everything.

Luciano (01:28:01.612)
I don't hate everything. I gave Wolves the highest rating last time. You weren't here, but you know, anyway. It's not. Yeah. We know that our Zero Listener isn't Spencer.

Spencer (01:28:07.106)
Sounds like a lie. If only I could verify by listening.

Matt (01:28:10.936)
that don't think you can.

Chris (01:28:12.697)
Ha!

Spencer (01:28:15.464)
Well, there is some way to listen to this.

Matt (01:28:16.653)
Mm-hmm.

Matt (01:28:20.556)
Not familiar with it. Chris, what was your rating?

Chris (01:28:27.555)
My rating is a C because, yeah, my rating is a C because it had moments that were interesting and I wanna put a bit of respect on it for reasons that we've covered. Like, smart ideas, like giving Andy the upgrade, that journey, the use of like the corridor and gravity and trying to get through that obstacle. Okay, well you've killed all those xenomorphs, but then.

Spencer (01:28:30.781)
right to it.

Chris (01:28:56.109)
You've got to deal with that floating acid blood. But then, and then like the world building from the beginning, good start. But then other things just come onto the radar that I couldn't dismiss. And when I started this movie out at five times speed, I found myself wondering, should I slow down? Maybe I should be listening to what these people are saying. But my spirit told me no.

Luciano (01:29:15.975)
Hahaha!

Chris (01:29:26.061)
Don't keep going. You know what? Turn the volume all the way off and make sure that the... And you know what? Take the SRT file, swap it with Shrek. Now, the reading is C because of the reasons that I've outlined, but the sour cherry, rotted sour cherry on top was Will Ferrell.

Matt (01:29:27.289)
Yep.

Luciano (01:29:27.498)
I like when everybody sounds like chipmunks

Spencer (01:29:30.152)
Go faster.

Luciano (01:29:34.674)
Hahaha!

Matt (01:29:40.676)
Mm-hmm.

Chris (01:29:55.053)
masquerading as an emaciated Shrek left out in the sun. So overall, I would say that Reign and Andy's dynamic was, my favorite part of the movie. And honestly, I was rooting for them when it got towards the end. like, they've got to the end. I want to see them make it. I'm curious. When I watched this movie again, it was actually very scary for me, which is why I was like,

Luciano (01:29:55.297)
No way.

Chris (01:30:21.241)
So if they made another, I would watch it at 10 times speed. You did my time.

Matt (01:30:27.96)
That is famously the preferred speed of all directors everywhere for you to watch their movies. So it makes sense. On your phone, screen off sound off.

Luciano (01:30:31.82)
Yeah, watch it at 10 times speed with the screen off. Yeah.

Spencer (01:30:33.2)
And on your phone.

Chris (01:30:36.931)
The one that doesn't work. My phone doesn't work. It doesn't work. So I put it on there.

Matt (01:30:43.352)
Perfect. Spencer, if you want to go ahead and give me a review.

Spencer (01:30:44.112)
I like to watch it on my Apple watch.

Spencer (01:30:48.966)
Yes, firstly, I'd like to say these guys must be a sugar high because they've been drinking all the haterade. Maybe you should call a wham-ulence because they're wrong.

Matt (01:30:50.51)
Don't.

Chris (01:31:02.945)
It's quiet. Anyways, come on.

Spencer (01:31:05.668)
Listen, this movie is a good.

Luciano (01:31:07.074)
You had all of this time to think about what to say, and this is what you chose to say?

Spencer (01:31:13.224)
It's Papa's time. Papa's This movie is a good movie. F. Fuck you. No. Fuck you. No, it's like it's a well made movie. I feel like I feel like I'm taking crazy pills. Like the the the action was great.

Matt (01:31:22.458)
That's it. Put it on the box. Alien Romulus. This movie's a good movie. Fuck you.

Luciano (01:31:23.982)
Fuck you, yeah.

Chris (01:31:24.283)
Yeah.

Spencer (01:31:38.044)
The Alien looked great. There's so much practical effects throughout the entire movie. wasn't like all CGI shit. The actor who played Andy was fantastic. Like actually was like the star of the movie and he's gonna go places. Other than like the like melting in home face, which was like took me way out of the movie and the like unnecessary homages to the old movies, which is like, remember this movie? It's a better movie.

Chris (01:31:47.769)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Luciano (01:31:48.302)
True. True.

Spencer (01:32:07.4)
Other than that, really liked like pretty much all of it. Like I love the world and the vibe. So I was just like in, you know, on my tier of like alien movie rankings, I'd say it goes alien, aliens, this movie, then Prometheus, then alien covenant, then alien versus predator, then alien three, and then alien resurrection. So

Matt (01:32:24.707)
Interesting.

Matt (01:32:35.318)
You forgot about Alien vs Predator Requiem. Okay.

Spencer (01:32:37.658)
right. that goes at the bottom. Yes. Alien versus predator. Reck, Reck, we miss at the bottom. Yeah, that goes with, I think that goes without saying. So it's like, like if I was like to introduce someone to the alien franchise, I'd be like, yeah, watch one, two, and this one. And I think you're in for a good time. I don't think it's as good as alien or aliens, but I liked it and I want to see a sequel. It was slick. It's a slick movie.

Luciano (01:32:41.166)
I don't think I've seen that one either.

Matt (01:32:44.004)
Just checking.

Matt (01:33:01.432)
Here's what I'll give you and after this I'll give you my rating. B. Okay. Here's what I'll say with this movie.

Spencer (01:33:06.961)
I didn't even say my letter. B.

Luciano (01:33:08.044)
Yeah. Okay.

Matt (01:33:14.436)
I think this is a good example of this movie isn't for me specifically. I might get caught up in watching it, but this movie isn't designed to give me the maximum viewing pleasure. Much the same way that many Marvel movies, you know, if you haven't followed the entire Marvel story, you're fucked and they don't give a shit about you. Because this movie is really focused on the soft relaunch you talk about, Spencer. So all the ideas that we see are not new to us.

because it's stealing the best parts of those movies to repackage it for the 25 year olds with the audience who's never seen Alien and aren't going to go back and watch those movies unless they're prompted to buy a movie like this. So now they've seen it and they like it. like, let's go check out the other movies. you know, is the movie good? You know, it's fine. It's well, like we said, yes, the CGI is garbage, but the rest of the movie, they spent their money well and the actors were good. you know, aliens killed a bunch of people in fun ways. So it was all good, but

It's not a movie that like is a lot of fun for me because it's not they're not showing me enough new or interesting things because it's trying to appeal to someone who hasn't seen it so I would slot that as a I guess I'll give it a low C because the movie is crafted well It's just not for me. And so I don't think that deserves a lower score. It's just you know is what it is

Spencer (01:34:40.2)
You must be low in vitamin C.

Matt (01:34:40.228)
end. Very. No. It's not. It's not a delicious fruit drink. That being said, this is the perfect time to segue into a different kind of juice. And that is our next movie. We are watching Beetlejuice Beetlejuice, the sequel to Beetlejuice.

Chris (01:34:41.837)
Yeah, it's not high C at all.

Spencer (01:35:04.046)
It is?

Luciano (01:35:04.51)
no, where's Michael Keaton? You said it three times.

Matt (01:35:06.148)
And I believe it would be the Beelgeuse vehicle. Maybe... No. No, no, no.

Spencer (01:35:11.57)
known.

Chris (01:35:14.307)
Danny DeVito.

Matt (01:35:17.156)
Is Denny DeVito in this movie? are you spoiling things?

Chris (01:35:20.599)
Yeah, maybe.

Spencer (01:35:20.624)
Maybe.

Spencer (01:35:24.272)
Maybe.

Matt (01:35:26.148)
One of you is saying maybe one of these is shaking their head no, so I don't really know who to believe at this point.

Spencer (01:35:31.394)
Maybe.

Chris (01:35:32.493)
You can believe me, because I'm telling you straight, it's not a spoiler.

Luciano (01:35:35.832)
Some button,

Spencer (01:35:37.832)
That song though is a spoiler if you listen to the lyrics

Matt (01:35:43.94)
Okay. Don't listen to the lyrics backwards before you watch Beetlejuice Beetlejuice. It'll ruin the plot. We are going watch Beetlejuice Beetlejuice. I'm going to be back here next week to tell you all about Beetlejuice Beetlejuice. Shit, I said it four times. Is he coming? Like that's... I cancel it? Okay, great. I also said it like three other times. Beetlejuice is here. yeah.

Spencer (01:35:45.192)
It'll just it'll ruin it all

Luciano (01:35:58.824)
You cancelled it, no you cancelled it. Yeah.

Spencer (01:35:59.632)
in his pants.

Chris (01:36:00.631)
He's coming!

Spencer (01:36:02.594)
Yeah

Luciano (01:36:07.051)
Yeah, the second movie is a very different movie from the first.

Matt (01:36:12.55)
Say say my name one more time

Spencer (01:36:14.728)
Listen here, bud. I'm BiddleJuice. And I'm squeezing my own nipples. Alright?

Matt (01:36:18.158)
Yeah.

Luciano (01:36:22.702)
He would say that. 100%.

Spencer (01:36:25.394)
What's that? I just did.

Matt (01:36:27.428)
100%. So yeah, watch the Justin Theroux vehicle, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice. Next week, please join us. We will probably talk to you next time you listen to us. You'll watch us, who knows. And they'll delete us next time. Bye.

Luciano (01:36:32.974)
Ha