Matt (00:01.313)
Welcome back to Bloodhold and Popcorn!

Spencer (00:05.682)
Wrong.

Luciano (00:06.886)
Really? 115 episodes in or however many we have. I know, I know.

Matt (00:08.57)
popcorn platters.

115, we have like 30.

Matt (00:17.205)
Hello and welcome to popcorn and plot holes. Better?

Spencer (00:21.422)
Woo!

Luciano (00:22.345)
Yeah, we got it eventually.

Matt (00:23.889)
Right, I won't fix that in post because fuck it. We are talking about the movie Damsel. It is, let's see, let's go with the, what's her name, because I can't pronounce it, vehicle? No.

Spencer (00:38.486)
Millie Bobby Brown?

Luciano (00:42.997)
No, Shuri Agashtalu.

Matt (00:44.081)
Exactly. Yeah.

Spencer (00:46.174)
Is that the voice of the dragon? She's awesome. Perfect casting.

Luciano (00:47.825)
Yeah, the perfect cast. Yeah. I don't think they even had to put like effects on her voice. It's just her voice.

Matt (00:55.038)
Now her voice is...

Spencer (00:55.082)
I just imagine when they were picking the actors, they're like, be cool if the dragon, like because of the fire in her throat was like a chain smoker. Like it sounded like a chain smoker. And they were like, I got just the person. And then she's like, hello, it's good to be part of this project.

Luciano (01:02.947)
Ha ha!

Luciano (01:06.531)
I got you, yeah.

Matt (01:10.677)
Now, that's disrespectful. It's cool if this dragon sounded like a sexy lady, but from like the 1980s. The evilest sexiest lady of all time.

Luciano (01:16.885)
Yep. Like an evil sexy lady. Yeah.

Spencer (01:21.066)
Let's just, let's just cut. Let's just meet in the middle. Yeah. Who does a chain smoker? A sexy chain smoker.

Luciano (01:21.837)
Who smokes a lot?

Matt (01:26.01)
Okay fine agreed very much so. We watched damsel as I said with me as always is first time long time Spencer

Luciano (01:26.666)
Hahaha!

Spencer (01:29.482)
I'd say that's an accurate description.

Spencer (01:39.478)
Yo, yo, it's good to be here. Damn, Fel.

Luciano (01:42.689)
Wowus! Ugh!

Matt (01:46.801)
Well, that happened. Luciano, can you just make us all forget that happened?

Luciano (01:52.161)
No, I wish I could. Control, yeah, control Z, yeah. Oh my, yeah, I'm here, I guess. I have to be. There's a gun to my head, I guess.

Spencer (01:52.242)
undo control that control that

Matt (01:55.869)
Control Z. With... Thank you. Yeah.

Probably. That's it. That's all we have. We don't have regular Chris. We don't have other Chris. We don't have other Matt It's just a three-way For this one. Yeah Sexy It's sexy like a chain smoking dragon

Luciano (02:12.048)
Hmm

Spencer (02:13.178)
No, it feels more intimate.

Luciano (02:18.743)
Hahaha!

Spencer (02:19.182)
I haven't had a three-way, I've had a two-way though.

Matt (02:21.929)
Oh, with your hand? It has to for many reasons for me personally moving on the movie let's talk about it. What was your favorite part of damsel?

Spencer (02:25.073)
That counts?

Luciano (02:26.688)
Both hands.

Luciano (02:37.184)
Uh...

And turned between two things, like the scenery and all that stuff, like the movie is gorgeous visually, I found. At least while they're not in the cave. But like in the beginning when they're showing the kingdom and all that. But now I think I want to go with it's still in effecting. I love the way they did the fire, the dragon fire. It was like liquid fire. It was super cool.

Spencer (02:50.008)
Hmm

Matt (02:54.206)
Okay

Spencer (03:03.546)
It's like, yeah, it was unique. It was cool and quite bouncy, apparently.

Luciano (03:08.385)
Yeah, I loved it. Yeah, very bouncy.

Spencer (03:11.938)
Um, yeah, I mean, I don't want to disagree with you, but I did feel like the visuals were a little CGI-y. Um, but we're just positive. We'll get into this. Like, I'm not, I don't want to shit on your positive, which I just did, but I'm going to say I didn't want to, even though I did it. And I'm going to move on to my positive. Um, you know, what I realized is it's kind of interesting. This movie, I like this movie because it's original. It's an original story, I think.

Luciano (03:22.949)
Sure.

Matt (03:25.481)
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Luciano (03:29.409)
Hahaha!

Luciano (03:41.422)
Same.

Spencer (03:41.614)
And I kind of noticed that like, it's almost like original stories now are going straight to like streaming services and like remakes all existing properties like for the theater. So like Netflix will release like an original story. Yeah.

Matt (03:54.813)
Um, Hey, Spencer, we literally watched Roadhouse. There was a remake and sent directly. All right, but

Spencer (04:00.146)
No, I'm not saying only. I'm not saying, yeah, the streaming services obviously do remakes and like existing properties too. But like, I feel like this kind of movie now, they're like, it's not going to make its money back on, you know, we'll just release it to streaming because it's not an existing property. And then I feel like that's happening a lot. So that made me appreciate it because it was like I was like, hey, yeah, it's formulaic, but I haven't seen this before. Yeah, someone wrote someone sat down.

Luciano (04:00.872)
Yeah.

Luciano (04:25.932)
Someone's trying. Yeah.

Spencer (04:29.006)
plugged into an AI and said, make me an original movie with dragons. And we got it. So we did it guys. So I liked that. I obviously I was the whole movie. I'm like, dragons can be good at the end. I pretty sure they're gonna team up. And I really didn't want it to. And then when she stabbed the dragon in the eye, I was like, okay, no, they're not. And boy was I wrong.

Matt (04:36.138)
We did it.

Luciano (04:51.225)
Hahaha!

Matt (04:51.497)
boy were you wrong. My favorite part, I'm gonna say two things here because I don't want our favorite things to just be about like what happened around the movie and not the movie because it really seems like we're begging on the movie, but I do appreciate that Millie Bobby Brown is taking up the mantle of doing all the alt science fiction, horror, fantasy, you know all of those things literature like because you know does the Enola Holmes?

Luciano (05:15.459)
Hmm.

Spencer (05:18.058)
Inola Holmes

Luciano (05:20.509)
Yeah, I haven't watched that.

Matt (05:22.229)
Yeah, she does those, Stranger Things. And so it's nice to see that those movies are still being made and with someone who actually can act. And like, is your TV show, Who Can Act, is really, really key. It's key that she can act because a lot of times you get, listen, I'm not going to be mean to Rebel Moon too much, but the-

Spencer (05:30.434)
Stranger Things is a TV show, not a movie. Oh, g- My pearls!

Luciano (05:33.473)
Hmm.

Spencer (05:46.374)
That's a lie.

Matt (05:50.069)
the main actress, Sofia Patella. She's a great action star, but the acting is not good. Chia Scanner is, that's correct. So that's my one thing that I like, but I want to say something about the movie because there are things I like about the movie. The cast is surprisingly stacked in this movie. They have an excellent series of actors in this thing.

Luciano (05:53.633)
Boutella, yeah.

Luciano (06:00.061)
Yeah, she's Keanu Reeves. Yeah.

Spencer (06:10.914)
That did surprise me.

Luciano (06:12.021)
Yes. And the director tried very hard to make very good actors act really badly. Like there's some scenes where you can tell it's the direction. Okay, fine. At least the director couldn't make them act bad. There you go. Ha ha ha.

Spencer (06:20.114)
I agree with that.

Matt (06:21.593)
Yeah, it was... Hey man, we're being positive.

Spencer (06:23.542)
Yeah.

Spencer (06:28.446)
Yeah. I, uh, if you want to give my positive, actual positive in the movie, I liked when, uh, Robin Wright got melted and her crown melted on her face.

Matt (06:28.814)
Yes, there you go. You did it. Positive.

Spencer (06:42.838)
But not her face. It made no sense and there's no reason why that crown would melt that fast, unless it was made of butter. But who's to say?

Luciano (06:43.089)
Yeah, that was pretty cool. Yeah. But it was cool.

Matt (06:43.525)
Yes, but not her face.

physics.

Luciano (06:52.833)
Or if the fire was like really that hot but then her face would have gone too. Yeah, yeah.

Spencer (06:54.813)
Yeah, it made no sense, but it looked cool.

Matt (07:01.041)
What's good or sell and that's a great segue into us banging on this belief in the next 45 minutes It's okay. It's not this it's the thing is it's a special point. It's gonna sound like we hated this movie I don't think we hated this movie. I think there are some things are really good about it but the things to talk about are the things that were cringy and confusing Yeah

Spencer (07:04.81)
To an hour!

Luciano (07:06.422)
What?

Spencer (07:13.366)
Listen.

Luciano (07:21.761)
The problem is that there's a lot to talk about, I think. That's really the problem.

Spencer (07:22.174)
Listen, we shit on every movie. If you want to know if we liked it, you have to stick around to the end for actual reviews. No matter what, this show's called Popcorn and Plotholes. We're going to shit on the plot of this film. With nuggets of popcorn in there, of positive things, maybe, sometimes.

Luciano (07:29.913)
True! Also true, yes.

Matt (07:39.085)
I don't know if-

Matt (07:42.633)
Thank you for saying popcorn and not just nuggets of corn. It was a great visual you tried to do before I ruined it. So yay me. I know what I'm doing. I'm a professional host.

Spencer (07:45.748)
Yeah.

Luciano (07:49.497)
I was gonna say, why would you say that? Ha ha ha.

Spencer (07:51.424)
Why would you undo the good I did? Control that, control that.

Matt (07:56.305)
because I'm a mean person. Let me ask this right off the gate, because it's... it kind of is important to me to have this question answered. This kingdom kills three princesses every generation, right?

Luciano (07:59.608)
Ha!

Luciano (08:13.239)
That's what we're led to understand, yes?

Matt (08:15.725)
So what to them is a generation? Like if they have like at least one kid, a boy or girl, that creates the generation? Because what about if you have an aunt and uncle and they have kids, but their kids are younger, does that, like where do they come up?

Luciano (08:26.407)
I guess, yeah.

Luciano (08:34.449)
I think it depends on whether the dragon's hungry.

Spencer (08:35.158)
I think you just kill... no, I think they just kill every... like three girls... every kid? Wait, that doesn't make any sense. No... Yeah, that's actually now you're...

Luciano (08:50.61)
No, it does not.

Matt (08:50.933)
So if you have three sons, they have nine princesses? Just to cover their bases? To be fair, this is a very risk-free scenario to the most part. No one seems to be concerned about all these princesses being married and killed. Yeah.

Luciano (09:06.042)
No, nobody gives a shit right even the father of one of them is like, oh you gave me enough money Yeah, sure use my kid as a snack for a dragon. It's okay

Spencer (09:09.995)
Yeah.

A deal is a deal and everyone's cool with it. It's perfectly legal. They got all the paperwork.

so I don't think there's anything wrong with it.

Matt (09:22.646)
Sure.

Luciano (09:25.97)
I pictured that meeting between Lord Bafford and Queen Bitch, whatever, Isabel, is her name. Robin Wright went from playing Princess Buttercup to only playing like evil bitches. I don't understand what happened with her. But anyway. Yes.

Matt (09:32.)
Wow.

Matt (09:41.085)
Well, technically she wasn't an evil bitch when she was in Wonder Woman.

Spencer (09:47.507)
She was in Wonder Woman?

Luciano (09:48.781)
Fair, fair, true, true. Yeah, she's a Hippolyta.

Matt (09:51.749)
Yeah, she's the military.

Spencer (09:52.378)
Oh, she's the one with the patch to put on the accent to sound like Gal Gadot.

Luciano (09:56.47)
No, not Hippolyta, sorry, she's the general. Yeah, you're right, yeah. Yeah, so I...

Spencer (10:01.055)
Yeah.

Matt (10:01.361)
Yeah, she's the general. And I should probably stop using the word bitch, because it's not really fair to- it's a bad word to use with Plymouth, sorry. But-

Spencer (10:04.822)
Hehehehe

Luciano (10:08.157)
Anyway, I figured that meeting where she pulls the guy there. So, okay, so we're gonna kill your daughter. And he goes, what? Let me write you a check, sir. And she starts writing and she starts adding zeros. And he goes, oh, okay. All right, talk to me, talk to me.

Spencer (10:20.324)
Yeah, no.

Spencer (10:26.702)
No, no, he goes, no, this is ridiculous. I could never allow such a thing. Maybe.

Luciano (10:35.741)
Oh? Yeah.

Matt (10:39.457)
But like, so do you think, cause this is another question that they told him, which created potentially a problem, cause it actually is the way she escapes, right? At least the first time. Do you think they tell the parents or whoever, the father of the kid they're paying for, that they're gonna kill them just so that they don't, like they get enough money to make them happy? Cause like,

Luciano (10:50.401)
Yeah.

Luciano (11:07.998)
Yeah, I guess.

Matt (11:08.913)
He was pretty happy to do this. They clearly sought out people who were desperate. Right? So then...

Spencer (11:10.902)
Yeah, it seems to be a systematic process of finding people in need and then buying their daughters and killing them. And then therefore there's no, I assume legal follow up or, you know.

Luciano (11:12.502)
Yeah.

Luciano (11:15.737)
shit

Luciano (11:18.992)
Yeah.

Matt (11:30.309)
Oh, uh, Spencer, what? Yeah, what? Who's going to arrest them? Who's going to come by? Like it's the, it's the royalty police. You've been, your, your contracts are illegal.

Luciano (11:30.461)
I don't think the Supreme Court cares.

Luciano (11:40.257)
The royalty police. Ha ha.

Spencer (11:41.123)
Well, that brings up my biggest issue with the movie, which is like, why do they go through all this pomp and circumstance and all these like, this sneakery, sneakery is not a word, but you know, just to fake wedding, just to kill the girl, you're the queen. Like you have all the power. If there's no law, why not just grab the servant and just slice her hand and high five, throw him in.

Matt (11:54.449)
Yeah, it is now.

Luciano (11:56.022)
It is now.

Spencer (12:08.094)
Like, like... They did it with the sister!

Luciano (12:10.881)
They did it with the sister, right? Because at first I thought, oh, it's a whole ceremony thing. You have to be in the family, not just by blood and blah, blah. Nope. Just high five, toss her in. Yeah.

Matt (12:12.63)
Yeah.

Spencer (12:15.606)
Yeah.

Spencer (12:19.135)
Yeah, yeah. High five. Too slow!

Matt (12:26.11)
Hahaha

Luciano (12:27.413)
I think here's what's happening. The people that we see there in the kingdom, they're the only people left. They've done this with everybody else. This is just a castle. That's why Millie Bobby Brown gets to walk in unimpeded. Like the only two guards were the ones inside there. So she just walked in at the end. That's why. They killed everybody. Yeah.

Spencer (12:35.17)
Oh.

Spencer (12:45.602)
That's a good theory, because you don't see a lot of people, except for those people with the masks, and then the help, which I guess they can't kill the people who work for them, because they need them to do the shit. You know what? I accept it. I accept your hypothesis.

Matt (12:47.297)
Sure. Okay, fair enough.

Matt (12:59.057)
Right. Yeah. I mean, that's, it's fair.

Luciano (12:59.402)
work. Yeah.

Matt (13:08.389)
It's fair, but it also doesn't really answer the question Spencer brought up around the marriage, the marriage stuff, right?

Spencer (13:11.402)
Yeah, I retract my hypothesis. Why even do the marriage? When they bring in a girl, they could just be like, get him. Get him, boys.

Luciano (13:21.645)
Yeah, it's not very efficient, I agree.

Matt (13:24.413)
Cause you know, like again, it's just like, I wanna know what their game plan is from, okay, Henry, Hank needs, he needs to get married three times. We gotta marry Hank three times to get this curse off our backs. What's their game plan? How have we been doing about it? Fred, you've been scouting the South Coast. What do we got going on there? We got any prospects? What's happening here? Like, they just work through a list of prospects of people they can call up because of the desperation, and then they go and they like use their desperation.

Luciano (13:34.681)
Hank. Yeah.

Luciano (13:52.215)
What do you think they have like a princess broker or something?

Matt (13:55.025)
Well, I think more like a princess minor league system where they got their eyes on princesses from birth and they become of age, they can draft them into service.

Spencer (13:58.286)
She's like...

Luciano (14:00.85)
Hahaha

Spencer (14:01.25)
They're like, they are, they are desperate and they, they are, they're like, they, I just pictured a man like you are, they are needy and they really need the money, but she can only throw a 98 mile per hour fastball. She's not going to make the team. We're going to have to change it. Well, yeah, they have staff. We're going to, we're going to go with our draft pick from, uh, from Oakland on this one.

Luciano (14:04.033)
Oh my god, we want, we want you as a sacrifice for a dragon.

Matt (14:10.933)
Exactly.

Matt (14:17.845)
Yeah

Luciano (14:20.519)
We have stats for them?

Matt (14:28.377)
Yeah. Yeah, they just, they just had fucking ACL surgery. They're not gonna be able to run for a shit.

Luciano (14:29.121)
Ha ha ha!

Spencer (14:31.466)
Yeah, they got Tommy John. She's out. She's out for the season. For the dragon eating season.

Matt (14:37.889)
Yeah, I can't fight back. Yeah. But so like, okay, so like, it's just, I've just, you could, this could be such a more streamlined process, right? Like the whole movie doesn't need to exist. You just go out to a, you go out to like a kangaroo, like, Hey, we see you have a daughter of age, we have a son. The one piece that we have to clear up here is like, if you're the, you're the desperate father.

Luciano (14:51.778)
Yeah.

Luciano (15:05.73)
Right.

Matt (15:06.077)
And maybe not in this case, maybe because he's clearly jacked. Not jacked as in muscular, but jacked as in his brain's off.

Spencer (15:10.086)
I was gonna say, he's brain jacked. That's how I'm gonna describe myself in the future. How was your build? I'm belly jacked. Oh, yeah, quite belly jacked.

Luciano (15:14.777)
Yeah, I was like, it's like jacked what in the belly, but no, okay. Belly jacked as they say, yes.

Matt (15:15.909)
Yes, yeah, and he's belly jacked. Yeah, he's belly jacked us, as the Royals do.

Luciano (15:26.537)
Yeah, I'm belly-jacked.

Matt (15:30.634)
Perfect. Oh, very nice. So he's brain jacked or belly jacked. And it's like, normally you'd be like, oh, okay, you want my daughter to marry your son and you have like, fucking every, you know, 10 billion gold or whatever is available amount of gold to get him out of debt. But like, wouldn't you then be like, well, what's in it for you?

Luciano (15:32.789)
What?

Luciano (15:53.141)
Yeah, that's true. Like, what was that for a conversation? Like when the red priestess comes in and she goes like, she'll do. I was like, oh, wow, what's happening here? And it's like, she'll do why? Because she's a woman, I guess? That's the yeah. But then

Spencer (16:07.394)
She bats 350. She got a 350 batting average. She'll do. OK.

Matt (16:08.049)
and you're desperate. But like any father... Switch hitter.

Luciano (16:14.125)
Now why she shouldn't pretty seem pretty handy with an axe I bet you she could use a bat as well

Spencer (16:19.498)
Yeah, I mean, really, if you're talking like, again, I still think you guys are still overcomplicating it. If it were, if you're rich, it's not a hard to, you go to a poor area and you say, I'll buy your daughter for a million dollars. We'll give her a good life. You know.

Matt (16:20.881)
Yeah.

Matt (16:34.47)
No, no, but... But...

Luciano (16:34.525)
Right, but if it's like a noble family, they're gonna go, okay, but why are you giving me this much money? To give, like, I would just marry my daughter to your son for the political advantage. Uh-oh.

Spencer (16:45.486)
Okay, let me get it.

Matt (16:46.273)
Spencer, let me put this in terms you understand. When Paul Atreides, or sorry, not Paul Atreides, Duke Atreides was given control of Arrakis, he didn't just go in there being like, oh, this is great, we're in charge, have a good time. He knew damn well something was up, didn't save him, but he knew damn well something was up. He asked questions, he tried to figure it out. That's what I'm saying about this guy and his daughter. He knows something's going, she knows something's going on. And he just like, does he though? Not until they tell him.

Spencer (16:50.762)
Yep. Yes.

Luciano (17:03.341)
Right.

Spencer (17:07.054)
I think he does.

Spencer (17:11.603)
I think he's pretty desperate, and then I think he was like, let me see what they have to offer. And then he was like, he probably was like, if we don't do this, we're all gonna die. Because we're starving. Due to reasons.

Luciano (17:13.161)
The stepmother does. The stepmother kinda does, but he doesn't.

Matt (17:25.733)
Yeah, best I- uh, that's weak. They gotta tell him something.

Due to reasons? Fine, that's fine. You know what, you don't answer my question. You fucking coward. That's fine. Don't answer my question.

Luciano (17:33.197)
We're going to talk about this. Yeah. We're going to talk about this later.

Spencer (17:39.494)
I don't, I just don't know.

Luciano (17:41.714)
Yeah.

Matt (17:45.109)
Let's talk about magical fluorescent leeches. Professional.

Luciano (17:47.929)
Wow. Segway, what is this?

Spencer (17:50.019)
I would call them bioluminescent?

Luciano (17:55.478)
They are. Yeah.

Matt (17:55.633)
Sure. Bioluminescent magical healing leeches. The only... It's interesting the magic that gets used in this movie. And I won't say it's the only piece of magic is obviously dragon. But let's start with these leeches. So they heal humans. They can heal humans and dragons. They can return skin. They can heal a whole eyeball. Apparently.

Spencer (17:56.266)
Leeches.

Luciano (17:58.581)
Magical glow worms.

Spencer (18:11.254)
Yes. And dragons.

Luciano (18:16.599)
Yeah.

Luciano (18:21.801)
Return eyeballs? Eyeballs, yeah. Ha ha ha.

Matt (18:25.641)
So it's a two part question. One, how come no one else knows about these leeches? And two, are the dragon and Elodie just going into business selling like a leech for healing people and like grow back limbs and like fucking revolutionized medical science?

Spencer (18:39.71)
If they're not, they're missing out on a huge opportunity.

Luciano (18:43.837)
Should yeah Maybe that's what they're going for when they're like they're shown fly the dragon flying her on the boat. That's what they're

Matt (18:46.964)
Okay.

Spencer (18:50.326)
Yeah, right after that scene, there's a scene of them shaking hands while writing a check. Like officially. In a business suit. It was a post credit scene. Human sized glasses on the dragon for no reason. Section subsection B needs to be worked out before I'll sign this.

Luciano (18:56.409)
Yeah, the dragon the dragon in like a in a in a business suit in a business suit. Yeah.

Matt (18:57.396)
Okay.

Matt (19:02.682)
Little glasses. She's got some glasses on trying to read the fine print. Yeah.

Luciano (19:11.874)
Yeah.

Spencer (19:17.617)
Hehehehe

Matt (19:18.281)
You think I was born in a cave?

Spencer (19:21.81)
You think I was born in a cave?

Luciano (19:22.087)
With that voice, right? Just the best negotiator in the history of space and time. Can you imagine? Yeah.

Matt (19:23.688)
Yes.

Spencer (19:27.198)
You take me for a lizard.

Spencer (19:32.75)
there.

Luciano (19:33.178)
Yeah, a little bit.

Matt (19:34.769)
Yeah, slightly. So no follow up on the leeches. You don't have any thoughts? We're good. You're fine with it? OK.

Spencer (19:36.594)
I mean, I think they're magic. I think they eat.

like they have to be eating something and then they poo up regenerate they eat damaged flesh and regurgitate or defecate fixed flesh

Luciano (19:49.933)
That's what it looked like, yeah.

Matt (19:58.505)
They do. Defqa is true. So yeah, no, that makes perfect sense. So you're saying that like they exist because of all the princess murder that's going on in the cave.

Spencer (19:59.694)
Does that make sense?

Spencer (20:07.882)
I mean maybe there's like a magic cave because a dragon lives there. There doesn't seem to be anything other.

Matt (20:15.196)
Right. Well, what I'm saying is, in this scenario, the dragon, does she specifically imply she eats all these princesses or she just kills them to...

Spencer (20:22.526)
I think you know, but there's a lot of bodies that aren't eaten.

Luciano (20:24.958)
Yeah, no she does.

Spencer (20:27.894)
So I actually was wondering that too. Cause the beginning of the movie, I was like, she first finds that girl that she sees in the opening of the movie. And then she finds her body and she's like, and she's like, oh, that's the same girl. And that girl was not eaten cause you could recognize her. And I'm not gonna say that they did that so you'd recognize her for plot points. I'm gonna say it's because the dragon didn't eat her because...

Luciano (20:39.069)
Yeah, and she's like, yeah.

Luciano (20:48.109)
I was about to say that. She was too bony.

Matt (20:52.861)
I made a choice.

Spencer (20:53.03)
She was too gamey. But like, yeah, so I actually wrote, like I was thinking when I was watching, I was like, wait, so why are they feeding this dragon if the dragon doesn't eat them? And then later you do actually find out it's because of this deal that the dragon is just killing them for revenge. So I would say no, maybe sometimes when it needs to eat, but I don't think it's like eats all of them. I rest my case, your honor.

Matt (20:57.802)
Yeah.

Luciano (20:58.787)
Yes, better.

Matt (21:11.514)
Yeah.

Luciano (21:22.574)
Because the way that the Queen explains it is, you know, she says that the daughters met their end at the belly of the beast. But she was lying to her teeth about everything, so she might as well have been a liar at that too.

Spencer (21:33.198)
I mean, she doesn't know if they're eating or not either. She's not going down there.

Matt (21:33.801)
Yeah, so you can't, yeah.

Matt (21:41.805)
No, they have no idea. She just assumed, right? But it still validates your point, Luciano, that you know, they're just saying things we don't actually get any verification on if the which probably it's a couple of them just to try them out.

Luciano (21:42.457)
True. Yeah.

Luciano (21:53.537)
Maybe the dragons just pissed like, oh, keep, stop tossing your refuse down here, Jesus.

Spencer (21:56.631)
Maybe that.

Matt (21:58.877)
I mean, to be fair though, she asked for it. That's a whole central thing in the movie.

Spencer (22:01.542)
Yeah, yeah, you idiot. But maybe also that's why, like she doesn't need all of them. I'm sure some of them are melted by her fire breath.

Luciano (22:01.741)
this true. Yeah, I guess.

Matt (22:12.445)
Yeah, the fire as evidenced by the very first scene with the army quote unquote. Yeah. Uh, they all die.

Spencer (22:16.194)
cool walking dummies

Luciano (22:19.052)
Yeah. Quote unquote. Yeah.

Luciano (22:25.857)
Like they get melt like even the bones melt I think. Like they just disappear.

Matt (22:30.481)
Well, the fire breath does melt gold, which yes, technically gold melts faster than a face, but the rest of the body, hey good, the, hey, you have no place here, sir.

Spencer (22:37.922)
Does it melt faster than steel beams? Look into it.

Luciano (22:40.65)
Yeah. Ha ha!

Spencer (22:45.046)
Yeah, I'm just joking. Does jet fuel melt still beans? I just think I think the dragon might be evolved. Look at it. Dragons fly, planes fly. That's, that's all I'm saying.

Luciano (22:46.389)
Wow. Do you think the dragon was involved? The dragon was behind 9-11. You heard it here first.

Luciano (23:00.505)
dragons melt steel beams. Ha. Ha ha ha.

Matt (23:00.729)
Incell Spencer, I cash you out of this podcast.

Spencer (23:01.502)
That's alright, this is a conspiracy, Spencer. Totally different guy. Ah! Hhhhhh! But, um... Where were we?

Matt (23:07.684)
Akashi out!

Matt (23:11.709)
I

Luciano (23:11.725)
Hahaha

Spencer (23:16.612)
Yeah, that's right. Sorry. It was a dragon job. But everybody knows that already.

Matt (23:17.582)
I think you read 9-11 was an inside job aka dragons Yeah, yes, okay, that's I mean let's talk about this dragon's cave Poorly designed by the dragon too many places for princesses to hide

Luciano (23:22.743)
Yeah.

Spencer (23:31.118)
You think the dragon built it?

Luciano (23:33.962)
Why would you assume the dragon design is... I'm a dragon and an interior designer of caves. Hehehe.

Matt (23:40.061)
She's been there for several centuries.

Luciano (23:42.985)
It's just her lair. She didn't design it. She just picked it.

Spencer (23:43.527)
You think she knows how to use... You think she uses tools and can like, man you like build walls?

Matt (23:46.525)
Yeah, but you could clean up some nooks and crannies that you lose princesses in.

Spencer (23:54.75)
She melted gold!

Matt (23:55.213)
She melted gold with her fucking flame breath. I'm pretty sure she can move walls back

Luciano (23:58.297)
Yeah, gold. You can melt gold with hot water if you want.

Matt (24:05.185)
No, that's not true. Plus it wouldn't just be straight gold, it'd be an alloy, because if it was straight gold, it would be too soft to fucking form into a crown. Yeah, and too heavy, yeah. Anyways, sorry we got into the metal energy chat, we'll pull out of that. Again. But, let's talk about the map then, let's just talk about this map that several princesses, I assume, collaborate to draw. You may beg to differ.

Luciano (24:09.761)
That and heavy and too heavy. Yeah, that's right. You're right. Yeah, you're right.

Spencer (24:16.898)
This always happens.

Luciano (24:18.077)
Again.

Luciano (24:29.962)
Maybe that's why they needed the system to be so complex because they needed cartographer princesses to be tossed there so that it could draw that map.

Matt (24:37.497)
those are only born to the seventh daughter of the seventh daughter yeah

Luciano (24:41.929)
of the seventh daughter exactly that now we can crack it yeah

Spencer (24:43.006)
in the land of the ace where the thaw hasn't happened.

Matt (24:45.909)
Crack the code. Good.

Matt (24:51.625)
So that is that was a real Luciano contribution to the conversation. Do you feel good about what you did?

Spencer (24:54.23)
I don't know what I just said. Um, I will say this though. Let, let me just, let me just ask you. They went all that trouble to draw the map and then they draw the, drew an exit on the map, meaning that someone went up there, saw an exit and went back down to finish the drawing, they couldn't have wrote dead end.

Luciano (25:00.495)
You blackout for two seconds there.

Matt (25:02.241)
I'm out.

Luciano (25:12.077)
No. What? No. Just look up and see the sun.

Matt (25:15.597)
No, no, they only got yeah, the sun shone down through the crystal cavern. You need to go up to

Spencer (25:17.616)
Oh

Luciano (25:22.017)
The one person who got up there, which was Victoria, got murdered. Yeah. Not say V. She always sounds like, I, we need to know. Everybody needs to know it was me. Like everybody else just writes, but she has to.

Matt (25:26.745)
roasted after she wrote not it's not safe Yeah

Spencer (25:32.63)
She used to tag herself. Typical millennials.

Spencer (25:40.059)
You have to tag everything. If it's not written on a stone, it didn't happen.

Luciano (25:42.11)
Wait, what?

Matt (25:44.705)
She could be, I don't know.

Luciano (25:47.851)
Okay, sure.

Spencer (25:49.575)
So I recant my question. So they just drew that there was a crystal with lights, I guess.

Luciano (25:52.95)
Hahaha

Matt (25:55.229)
Perfect.

Luciano (25:57.428)
Awful.

Spencer (25:59.326)
Yeah, the drawing was quite crude. It was like a circle with like.

Luciano (26:05.001)
Yeah. Hey, there you go. That was.

Matt (26:05.053)
Did you watch this movie? Yeah

Spencer (26:07.803)
Yeah, I mean, I thought they were cartographers. No.

Luciano (26:11.059)
What did you expect like, like to scale?

Spencer (26:13.654)
Did anybody else think as well when she's climbing that crystal that she was going to fall and like just get absolutely eviscerated by the crystal edges? I was like, Oh no, that's the worst place to fall ever.

Luciano (26:18.797)
Amateur cartographers.

Luciano (26:26.009)
Yes. She should've.

Matt (26:27.422)
The tr-

Luciano (26:31.667)
Yeah.

Spencer (26:31.786)
Too... Too spiky?

Matt (26:31.969)
Truthfully, I don't know if it's the way they drew the crystals. It was too much. It just kind of was like everything the sharpest. They're all perfectly sharp daggers. Crystal daggers.

Luciano (26:38.697)
Yes. Every single one was like very like sharp to the point of yeah. Yeah. Those weren't those weren't crystals. Those were daggers. Yeah.

Spencer (26:44.106)
Anyone else think that was gonna come into play later as a weapon to like trap the dragon?

Spencer (26:52.678)
I thought she was going to use her brains at some point. Yeah, like I thought she'd use intelligence to defeat the dragon, but she refused to.

Luciano (26:57.283)
I thought she was going to use it. I thought the crystals were going to be magical or something.

Matt (27:03.557)
Yeah. Which one? Elodie? Okay.

Spencer (27:05.254)
I thought she was building a cool trap and then it turns out it's just a fallover mechanism. I could build a fallover mechanism.

Luciano (27:08.435)
She did in the MacGyver montage that she did at the end.

Matt (27:13.235)
We're gonna get to all of that shit.

Spencer (27:15.222)
Sound trap. Sounds like a new type of music.

Luciano (27:17.805)
Yeah.

Matt (27:19.551)
It's a sound trap, sir.

Luciano (27:22.185)
Yeah, it worked. It worked.

Spencer (27:23.928)
Yeah.

Matt (27:26.289)
It is a soundtrack and the dragon rolled a critical fail and went rushing. That's the dragon's MO, critical fails. Yeah, yeah.

Luciano (27:26.898)
Yeah.

Spencer (27:28.797)
Did anybody else?

Luciano (27:30.881)
Well, we're going to talk about that too. The dragon was playing a d20 game with a d10. That's what was happening there.

Spencer (27:31.914)
Listen you nerds. I did anybody else get serious predator vibes from this movie?

Really? She even said like, she even said like, come on, do it. What are you waiting for? Come on, do it. I'm right here. Literally, literally, she said, I'm right here. Come on, what are you waiting for? But the voice on everything.

Luciano (27:47.233)
No, not really. Yeah, no.

Matt (27:50.435)
No.

Luciano (27:55.097)
Uh, uh, okay. Maybe because she didn't go do it. Do it. Come on.

Matt (27:59.267)
Hahaha

Spencer (28:03.982)
Just a little off in that one scene.

Matt (28:04.716)
hahahaha

Matt (28:08.689)
You know, now that I think about it, she did sound a little Austrian.

Luciano (28:09.209)
shit yeah she also she should have gone your one ugly motherfucker too but you know

Spencer (28:10.25)
No, I was actually thinking that before because she like covers herself up with like odor covering. Slime that stinks and then she's like setting up all the traps and I'm like, oh, this is just like the predator face off. And I thought that at that point and then it's like she's standing in front of the curved wall and she's like, come on, do it. Come on. And I was like, oh, wow, they went full predator.

Luciano (28:25.709)
That's true! I never thought of you right!

Luciano (28:40.094)
We're gonna get to that. We're gonna get to that

Matt (28:42.569)
Listen Spencer, you can't let's go into it. It's fine. We'll get into it because now it's as good a time as any But the challenge I have with this statement Spencer is that in the predator the predator and humans are both equally dangerous game The predator comes with more equipment and toys, but the human is a match in terms of ability to murder So the difference here is that at no point you just think that the dragons a murder machine

Luciano (28:47.256)
Okay.

Spencer (28:50.567)
Mm, pretty.

Spencer (29:10.313)
Yeah.

Matt (29:11.069)
And at no point does it seem like Eldia ever has a chance to destroy the dragon. Like they're not on... They're not on equal power level. Until we get to our plot hole. Which is that this is the stupidest fucking dragon I have ever met. They make her out to be this very intelligent dragon with toys with her food and blah blah. And then she does... Kills instantly. Viciously. Over centuries. But... There are countless examples where this dragon makes a

Luciano (29:15.038)
Yeah, Alady or anyone else really.

Spencer (29:23.722)
and kills instantly.

Luciano (29:25.46)
Yes!

Matt (29:40.693)
the dumbest decision based on what we're told her plan is.

Spencer (29:42.076)
Which would you say is her dumbest decision or maneuver?

Matt (29:46.653)
And like it just doesn't make any sense.

Luciano (29:47.48)
I yeah

Spencer (29:48.534)
like fire breathing into a surf, like a surf wave wall.

Matt (29:52.897)
This is the fire breath thing at the end.

Luciano (29:54.59)
Yeah.

Matt (29:58.801)
a curved surface? Yeah.

Spencer (30:00.368)
Yeah.

Luciano (30:01.734)
that we get like a two minute shot of the dust or whatever swirling and going up. Her eye is poked, right? But so.

Matt (30:08.069)
She can't see dust. Famously, dragons can't see dust.

Spencer (30:12.174)
Yeah, the dust seeing eye. Yeah. Dust perception, just dust perception that everyone knows dust visualization is stored in the right eye.

Matt (30:15.909)
Oh, well, okay, her one eye can't see dust. It's a, to see dust, you need to have two eyes for the depth perception situation. Yeah, dust perception, yeah. It is dust perception is the term.

Luciano (30:18.582)
Yeah.

Luciano (30:24.551)
Dust depth perception.

Spencer (30:30.026)
That's just that's just science. But yeah, there was like I call the point break wall where it's like. And then I was like, really, is this fire going to bounce? Is that the plan? The fire is going to bounce off the wall onto the dragon. Firstly, I would assume the fire wouldn't even hurt the dragon because, you know.

Luciano (30:33.526)
Hahaha!

Matt (30:35.793)
It's true.

Matt (30:39.145)
Say this is your songs.

Luciano (30:40.193)
That whole scene is... Yeah, the point prequel, yeah.

Luciano (30:54.713)
Exactly. I was very pissed at that. I was like, wait, she how come how come her insides are okay with the fire but not the outsides?

Spencer (30:55.862)
Well, that's what I thought, but then I thought, is that stupid? Because it's not fire inside of like, it's not like a.

Spencer (31:07.19)
That's true. It is fire in the neck. Cause I remember in the movie, Rain of Fire, is that the one with Christian Bale? Where it looks like it shoots like almost like a, like a gas flammable liquid that comes out of their mouth and it ignites like a foot in front of their mouth. And that looks really cool.

Luciano (31:09.999)
It lights up her entire throat and face when she spits it.

Luciano (31:26.717)
Right, it ignites when it, yeah, yeah. It ignites when it hits like oxygen or whatever, yeah, yeah.

Spencer (31:27.402)
Which is, which I was like, Oh, maybe that's just what's happening. But you're right. You see it in her, in the throat of the dragon, which means it's internally, it is fireproof.

Luciano (31:40.269)
Yeah.

Matt (31:40.306)
Thank you.

It is, so just to be clear, it's not dragon fire, it's dragon napalm that she spits out of her mouth.

Spencer (31:43.618)
So it's.

Luciano (31:47.985)
It is napalm, you're right. But like, it was weird to me that she was not immune to it.

Spencer (31:48.01)
I would have, I would, if I was Elodie, I would have assumed that. But.

Luciano (31:59.211)
Yeah.

Matt (32:00.957)
Well, yeah, it's it was a lot for Elodie to like You might that's it right like you might try it cuz you're desperate But that was her whole gambit is that she'll burn herself That's all she had

Luciano (32:04.619)
It was a big assumption.

Spencer (32:05.506)
But her whole game from the beginning was stupid. Her other plan was like, I'm gonna stab it in the... But I know, but that was just the stupid.

Luciano (32:12.331)
Yeah.

Luciano (32:18.333)
It worked! That's the worst. You asked what the stupid decision was. To me the stupid decision was for her to like just walk around Elodie and charge her and let her get under and stab her when like trained soldiers couldn't touch the dragon but this princess was never fought in her life could.

Spencer (32:20.128)
Thanks for watching.

Spencer (32:29.066)
Well, no, but she slid. She did. She she slid. She did a fucking she's a fucking grind. What are you going to do with that? Nothing. Slides under your chin. You're done. Yeah, yeah. She would have been, but she didn't have game like that.

Luciano (32:39.001)
Come on, come on, dude, come on.

Matt (32:48.83)
The dragon should have all eaten response, I'm sure it will be fine.

Luciano (32:52.091)
Eh.

Matt (32:56.457)
No, but like, this is the thing with the dragon is that I understand the dragon was probably bored and so she gets a chance to chat with some people for a while and fuck with them and because she thinks they're part of the generational line, she thinks she's doing a big service. This is just popping into my head and so I gotta say it here and it's a bit off topic, but she wants to kill three daughters to punish for her three children that died, right?

Luciano (33:26.423)
Right.

Spencer (33:28.075)
No, she says that the eggs were girls.

Matt (33:28.841)
Does she, like, at no point does she not say, hey guys, you keep sending three girls, like-

Luciano (33:38.796)
Yeah.

Matt (33:39.465)
Yeah, okay, but my question is like, was the goal to inflict pain or the goal was to end the family? Because at some point, if you kill three girls every single time.

Spencer (33:44.722)
Yeah, it was doing flake pain. You see-

Luciano (33:48.625)
If it's conflict pain, it was, it was like punishment, right? Yes. She says, you know, three taken, three were taken and three must be given or something like that.

Spencer (33:53.766)
Yeah, rightly so. And she was, I believe she was trained, she's a big follower of Andrew Tate, so she also has natural hate towards women.

Matt (33:57.917)
So she just assumed she was gonna knock out like 16 kids and send me the first three. Fair enough. Okay. So, back to the dragon.

Luciano (34:09.553)
Oh no.

Matt (34:09.56)
Mm-hmm.

Matt (34:13.021)
Hey, we cast the spell, we did all the steps. You have no place here in South Spencer.

Spencer (34:13.663)
I apologize.

Luciano (34:21.664)
Hahaha!

Matt (34:25.097)
But okay, so that's fair. I'll go back to the dragon being stupid because, I mean, that's the crux of this movie and where it falls apart. So, let's walk through her stupidity, shall we? It's, we have everything including leading up to the fire incident. Letting her get close with the sword, letting her stab with the sword, etc. But I also have to question that the way she's telling that these people are part of her...

Spencer (34:50.641)
Hehehe

Matt (34:53.669)
are part of the family is because they high five their blood.

Luciano (34:57.097)
It's just how she smells their blood in them.

Spencer (34:58.675)
You shut up, sir.

Matt (35:00.288)
But like.

Matt (35:03.689)
That's not how that works at all. Like, like even if you're like the blood mixes together and but like it's so little blood that touches it's not like you just all of your body like everything about you changes into the like

Spencer (35:14.971)
No, their blood is like the thing. Once one piece of DNA, it infects the host and clones them.

That answer your question?

Spencer (35:30.694)
Yeah, that magic- a wizard did it.

Matt (35:33.136)
Okay. Yeah, I'm sure there's some science fiction thing that explains it, so therefore magic can explain it, therefore valid.

Spencer (35:34.806)
But I will say the first dumb thing I saw the dragon do was when she does. I guess technically, it's the second first is when she's falling down those, those crystals, and she's hanging from the thing like a shish kebab, she the dragon didn't just blow fire on her there. The other thing is when she is at the top of that crystal thing, the dragon has her dead to rights. And then the dragon's like, what's that? And it's like, stay right there. I'll be right back and just

Luciano (35:36.247)
Hahahaha

Spencer (36:04.798)
Like why didn't she just barbecue her and run?

Luciano (36:06.754)
Yeah.

Spencer (36:12.79)
But even at the top though, she, but even at the top, she like comes on the other side and it was like about to kill her on the outside window or whatever. And then like there's a couple of horsemen are riding by and she's like, look out, see ya.

Luciano (36:14.081)
Well, she watches her climb the crystals and she's like, oh, good luck. Like, why didn't she just, like, she had nowhere to go.

Luciano (36:31.998)
Yeah.

Spencer (36:34.997)
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Matt (36:37.674)
Ha ha.

Luciano (36:37.885)
This always happens every time she's like a like those dogs from up with the squirrels. Squirrel! Like it's she does that all the time. And she can smell. And she can smell like she has enough sensory perception to smell her blood, but you can't tell where she is.

Spencer (36:39.001)
She does get distracted by horses a lot.

Matt (36:46.717)
Yeah. One, so-

Spencer (36:53.918)
Hey, I can smell blood. I didn't say where. Just imagine someone's cooking a steak and you're like, there's a steak in this house. It's right behind you. I don't know where. It's somewhere here, I know it.

Matt (36:57.537)
She can't tell that she's literally like three feet away.

Luciano (36:59.798)
Three feet away, yeah.

Matt (37:02.649)
I can smell your... yeah. But not close. But far?

Spencer (37:12.704)
Oh, hehehe.

Luciano (37:13.029)
Yeah, and this thing yeah, and you can't you can't fucking tell yeah exactly

Matt (37:13.649)
And you just keep going around the pillar. Just walking through your living room into your kitchen and it's like never, you can never find it.

Luciano (37:23.541)
And it's also like she chooses like she flies super fast in the beginning of the movie and she also after she leaves the cave she also flies super fast but like when she gets distracted for the umpteenth time and Elodie's climbing that the rope she takes a fucking long time to get her enough that she can get out like she was wasn't like she was climbing super fast. So I don't

Spencer (37:38.371)
I think from the beginning she liked Elodie. That's my thing. I think she kind of liked her.

Spencer (37:48.426)
Yeah, I agree with that.

Matt (37:53.841)
Yeah, I think she's so fucking bored. Like, at the beginning, like, the kills were like, vengeance, and it was like, bloodlust, and it was all good. And now it's just like, I really shouldn't have said I do all the generations. I feel like I'm good personally, but I did promise I'd kill him, so I guess I'll stick around.

Spencer (38:01.888)
Uh huh. A bow's a bow. Yeah, and then like they come down, they're like, the dragon's like, so what's new? How's the kingdom? Why, you know, like she's just.

Luciano (38:10.987)
I'm a good person but I'm a person of my word. Yeah.

Spencer (38:20.734)
I just I just I just want to I just want to know what's up. Just tell me what's up. You know, she cheated on him. There's telling stories. Wow. Tell me about this last season of The Bachelor.

Luciano (38:22.6)
That would have been awesome. It just dropped there. Oh my God, the dragon. No, no, no. I just want news. I just want news from the outside.

Yeah, but she can't go out to the dragon. Yeah.

Spencer (38:37.434)
Well, the more you know. Anyways, no!

Matt (38:38.361)
Really? So that's why you didn't send that princess, because she wasn't part of the family.

Luciano (38:45.809)
Yeah, there you go.

Spencer (38:46.622)
I mean, that would explain things. That would explain things a little bit.

Luciano (38:49.501)
Yeah.

Matt (38:51.349)
Good shot with you.

Luciano (38:53.977)
Yeah, I don't know. And they make, they do such a good job initially to kind of make the dragon sort of like a, you don't get to see the dragon for a whole lot of the movie, you only see like, yeah, so I was like oh.

Spencer (38:57.642)
Yeah, I like that. I think you first you first see the dragon when the people like really see it when her dad comes right?

and it like, it steps out of the sh-

That was cool.

Luciano (39:16.297)
Yeah, even when Elodie was running, you just get glimpses, right? And I, yeah, it was. And I liked that. And even like the looks of the design of the dragon was super cool too. But then, you know, they keep playing it up. This is this ancient, intelligent, like killing machine. And then it's just like a fucking idiot who's bored. Like at the end.

Matt (39:22.621)
Which is super effective, right?

Spencer (39:34.358)
Well, only with Elodie, though, with the with everyone else. She she like pops people like grapes. Yeah, well, like nobody in the movie, like I did enjoy when she would. She wouldn't just like do normal dragon things. She kept on crushing, like popping them in her hands. Like multiple times, you know, that when she'd have the people, she'd be like, pop. And I thought that was fun.

Luciano (39:45.329)
Oh, I think you think it's like a soft spot.

Luciano (39:59.028)
Yeah.

Spencer (40:02.899)
Yeah.

Luciano (40:05.326)
I really like the scene where she like sticks her claws into the into all of these father's like armor. It was super that scene was super cool.

Spencer (40:10.146)
See?

Matt (40:12.009)
And that was all so respectful because she could have melted him with no body, but now she has a body to bury.

Spencer (40:12.722)
I mean, they do end up BFFs.

Luciano (40:16.329)
Yep, true. Yeah, I think Spencer's right. I think she has a soft spot for Ality.

Matt (40:18.505)
So she's... Yeah. She makes us stupid.

Spencer (40:18.614)
business partners selling snake oil. I mean, leach oil.

Luciano (40:24.297)
They did. They ended up business partners.

Spencer (40:26.782)
You think she forgave her for killing her father?

Luciano (40:31.786)
Well, glow warm oil.

Matt (40:31.967)
That's.

Spencer (40:33.394)
That's true. You know what? You're right. She's like, yeah. Yeah, that drags.

Luciano (40:37.961)
I think so. Her father sold her to be eaten by a dragon.

Matt (40:39.466)
Yeah, that's fine.

Matt (40:43.649)
It's a complicated relationship. And like, do you think that scenario happened? They're like, hey, Ray Winstone, we watched you come and be this girl's father in this movie called Damsel. It's like, all right, cool, yeah. I got to be her father? What's my thing? Well, you just kind of sell her for money.

Spencer (40:55.219)
He's like, already done.

Luciano (40:58.121)
Yeah. So you're going to look drunk half the time, even though you're not. And then you're going to sell your daughter to be a dragon's neck.

Spencer (41:04.25)
Yeah, we can. We've already filmed the first half, but yeah, we can change it. And he comes down. Well, we'll fix it in post. And he comes down. I changed my mind.

Matt (41:07.947)
And it's just like, what if I was a good guy and they're like, uh...

Luciano (41:12.841)
No? Ha ha. Ha ha ha.

Matt (41:16.261)
It's fine, we'll just, we'll have you show up three quarters into the ending for no reason. We'll tell you that you sold your daughter into a murderer at the very last second for reasons no one will understand. But then it'll mean you come back and die.

Luciano (41:20.195)
Yeah.

Luciano (41:27.369)
Oh, they did the same thing that they did with his character. They started writing a check and adding zeros. And he was like, I'm never going to do this movie. Uh, maybe. Yeah.

Spencer (41:29.518)
Maybe?

Spencer (41:35.067)
Is that $1,000? Now I get either to start at a 10. No, adds a zero. What? Yeah. He's like, keep going. Oh, baby.

Luciano (41:47.761)
Jesus Christ. And look, right? One zero look up to see his reaction. Two little, one more zero.

Matt (41:50.185)
Ha ha ha.

Matt (41:54.559)
for watching.

Spencer (41:57.945)
yeah I like the idea that it's like a thousand he's like yes and then it gets to ten thousand he's like just says no he's like that's too much even I know that's too much for me

Matt (41:59.247)
It's like 10,000, you look up, it's really excited. Go to in, decimal point, $100.

Luciano (42:03.873)
Dot. Yeah. Ha ha ha.

Matt (42:13.594)
Yeah, the government will know I'm up to something. Don't do it.

Luciano (42:14.238)
That's too much.

Spencer (42:17.322)
I mean, this movie is definitely fixable. It wasn't like, like I said, I like the premise. My main complaint is like, I thought that if she's gonna beat the dragon, it should have been like her.

Matt (42:21.226)
So can we fix this dragon a little bit? Or the movie?

Luciano (42:25.593)
Yeah.

Luciano (42:35.979)
Yeah.

Spencer (42:39.174)
Oh, just the... Oh, oh. What's this show called? I got you. Oh, okay, okay. I don't know, Luciano, do you have a solution?

Matt (42:41.369)
Oh, just to be clear here, I'm doing the thing where we take the plot hole and then we fill it by resolving that part of the movie. I don't actually want you to fix the entire movie. That's for later. Never. Plop corn and porn holes. Pop holes. Yeah.

Luciano (42:41.481)
With smarts, yeah.

Luciano (42:55.741)
and bop holes and bop holes. Yeah.

Luciano (43:03.093)
Yeah, I don't think what you were saying was very far. Like, I think that instead of making the dragon make stupid decisions, make it so that Elodie forces the dragon into making bad decisions, right? Like...

Like the whole thing that she did at the end, like very, it was, it felt like someone was writing this as like, oh, fuck, how do we finish this? Oh, let's rush it. And then she cuts her hair. She comes up with a plan. She does all the things, those things super fast. Why not kind of stretch that a little bit? Show that she's resourceful throughout her trying to escape, right? And instead of the dragon sounding like a like a dumb fucking lizard, it's like, oh, she outsmarted her.

Spencer (43:28.759)
Yeah.

Spencer (43:39.455)
Yeah.

Luciano (43:47.373)
Right. And then I would believe that you could do it. Not like just, Oh, you know what? Maybe I should use all my resource from this now in this last two minutes. So.

Spencer (43:52.598)
kind of like a la Bilbo and Smaug where he kind of gets Smaug talking, you know, and keeps the conversation going to keep herself alive while she makes maneuvers.

Matt (43:54.469)
Yeah, the errors are forced errors instead of the unforced errors that she makes everywhere.

Luciano (43:59.369)
Yeah, yeah. Like.

Luciano (44:07.342)
Yeah, something like that.

Luciano (44:16.725)
Like they do what I thought was a really stupid callback that movies sometimes do for reasons. In this case, there was no reason when they show her going through the same route again, grabbing the glow. I was like, we know all of this, right? But they could have shown her like dodging the fire one of the first times and seeing that the fire hit the dragon and it would hurt her. And she was like, oh, I can use this against her. And you know, the dragon, the dragon's right eye is the only one that sees dust. Maybe I'll stay on her.

Spencer (44:37.394)
Perfect!

Yeah, I like that. I appreciate it. I think I think you're 100% right on that. So the dragon is not just dumb. It's just that she's smart and she's able to chest out chest maneuver her.

Luciano (44:45.601)
You know what I mean? Like that kind of stuff.

Matt (44:46.781)
You get it.

Yay.

Luciano (44:58.601)
Yeah, the dragon underestimates her, right? Yeah. Uh-oh.

Spencer (44:58.726)
I like it Like she falls down the well. She's like was that a cat?

Matt (45:01.694)
Or, hear me out, we make the dragon dumb from the beginning.

Luciano (45:06.593)
But okay, at least it will be consistent.

Spencer (45:12.026)
Are you my baby?

Luciano (45:12.065)
D'oh! Where did that come from? Can you fly? Are you a little dragon?

Matt (45:14.388)
Ha ha

Luciano (45:23.433)
Or maybe like when she's going after the soldiers in the beginning the soldiers quote-unquote in the beginning She doesn't kill them on purpose. You just like she lands in the middle of them and they like they flies Oh the dragon I'm sorry. She like keeps flapping at them with the tail

Spencer (45:34.411)
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do it. Eat your dinner. You're nothing but skin and bones. Literally, they're like all melted.

Matt (45:39.406)
Sorry she said you were smother? I'm sorry!

Luciano (45:41.682)
Yeah, exactly.

Luciano (45:47.081)
Yeah, something like that. Yeah, and then instead of Sharia Agastalou just get Liza Minnelli to do her voice.

Matt (45:47.584)
I

Spencer (45:52.918)
That would be French. Oh no. Oh. Did I do that?

Matt (45:55.358)
Yeah.

Matt (46:01.252)
A friend, Dresher?

Luciano (46:02.557)
Or friend Drasher, better, better.

Now I melted you, I'm sorry! Oh, that must hurt! Don't cry so much! Yeah. Yeah, one of those two.

Spencer (46:08.438)
Yes, Urkel's in there. Don't you? I prefer that.

Matt (46:12.342)
haha

Spencer (46:17.55)
Fixed and fixed. So yeah, I think that we've, it's hard to perfect having a cross between Steve Urkel and Fran Drescher, Voices Dragon and Have Her Be.

Luciano (46:29.173)
Yeah, I-

Luciano (46:38.017)
I think we did the best job we could have done. But yeah, like you said Spencer, the movie is, the idea is good. I like that it's like she starts the movie by saying, you know, some stories where the woman is the damsel in distress, this is not that story. I like that idea, but don't make it that the would-be damsel wins because the dragon's an idiot. Right?

Spencer (46:46.665)
Yeah.

Spencer (46:52.702)
Yeah, and she's and she 5050 grinds between the dragon's legs and stabs her in the heart. I was so disappointed. I was like, I was like when she's sitting up that trap or not trap, when she's sitting up that thing and she's like, it's like the classic Predator montage. She's like putting the stuff on her so she doesn't smell and gets the like fills the bag with like thing. And there's like there's like a fire going. I'm like, oh, is this like a makeshift bomb or something? I'm like, what is she doing? Oh, this is she's like.

Luciano (47:08.504)
50-50 grind.

Spencer (47:20.814)
gonna out thinker and like get a trap and it's like oh and then she's like the armor falls over and I'm like that's it she made she made a she made it like a like that I don't mind that as a as a device but that's all she made I thought she was gonna make like the crystals into a weapon or

Luciano (47:21.869)
The armor and whatever, yeah.

Luciano (47:28.65)
Yeah!

Luciano (47:36.05)
It makes sound, yeah.

Luciano (47:44.465)
Also, like, why didn't the dragon just eat the sister? Like, she didn't know that the sister was, like, if the dragon... Right, but like, the dragon, the elegy would come anyway, right? She'd-

Matt (47:51.15)
Nah, that was personal.

Matt (47:57.265)
No, the dragons, yeah, but like, you wanna have the pawn alive until you kill the other one just in case, right? She's smart! Except when it comes to everything else.

Luciano (48:00.649)
They think you... Oh, I see. To kind of twist the knife. Okay, yeah. Except when she's not, yeah.

Spencer (48:00.768)
at times.

Matt (48:12.969)
Yeah, so I think that makes sense.

Spencer (48:13.794)
Did we solve that?

Matt (48:18.097)
I guess we solved this problem.

Luciano (48:20.794)
Yeah, sure. As usual.

Matt (48:23.029)
We fixed it. You either clean up the dragon stupidity and make Elodie earn it, or you make the dragon stupid. Other option. Valid. Yeah, 100%. OK, great. Buddy card. That's the second one. And they get busted because they're selling illegal healing slugs on the side.

Luciano (48:25.465)
Hahaha!

Spencer (48:29.25)
I turned this movie into a buddy cop drama.

Luciano (48:32.913)
Yeah. And make it, turn this movie into a comedy. Yes.

Luciano (48:40.057)
I-I-

Yeah.

Spencer (48:43.918)
too damn too so.

Luciano (48:51.221)
Yeah. Now they get, they get boosted for... They get boosted by the SEC for filing bogus lawsuits or whatever.

Spencer (48:52.99)
The movie is called, Damn You Sell That? Referring to the

Matt (48:54.837)
Yeah

Spencer (49:01.902)
Oh.

Spencer (49:05.17)
It'll it'll training the references will happen if you let it happen. You don't have to push it.

Luciano (49:05.629)
Oh no.

Matt (49:06.525)
I wanted to make a training day reference, but it just really didn't work this time.

Luciano (49:11.029)
Yeah, I mean none of what we said worked so I guess you should just move on.

Matt (49:20.755)
Let's let something else happen. I'm gonna ask some questions here because we have some things that didn't make sense in the movie We need to clear them up more backstory just to nail everything simple one dragon mommy three babies Dragon daddy, where is he?

Spencer (49:25.91)
Gotcha. Nope.

Spencer (49:36.167)
I need a bag of dragon smokes. Giant scratch, giant with a... Just picturing giant scratch cards and the dragon with a giant nickel like scratching them.

Matt (49:40.082)
What happened to him?

Luciano (49:40.613)
Went to buy Dragon Cigarettes.

Luciano (49:47.377)
Yeah, yeah, some scratchers. Yeah, indeed. In the other town over.

Matt (49:47.425)
Get some scratchers.

Spencer (49:55.434)
I think that answers that, no? I know, I think they infer they're asexual, kind of. Well, I just figured she's a woman, she had three girls, maybe they don't need men. There's no male dragon, it's just a female dragon thing.

Luciano (49:55.725)
Hahaha!

Luciano (50:02.167)
Yeah.

Luciano (50:06.238)
Yeah, I think I think it did.

Matt (50:11.749)
When did that happen?

Luciano (50:12.409)
But yeah.

Matt (50:17.247)
Wow.

Luciano (50:19.733)
Well, she does say she does say that my children were the last of our kind or something.

Spencer (50:21.062)
No, there is no Daddy Dragon. That's what I said.

Matt (50:25.725)
Yeah, because, okay, so is Dragon Daddy dead then?

Spencer (50:28.398)
She ovulation cycle.

Luciano (50:29.905)
It has to be because like... But that but if she doesn't need a daddy dragon then she could have just made more children

Spencer (50:32.854)
Yeah, that was the last of her line.

Matt (50:33.6)
No, but-

Spencer (50:36.51)
Listen you. Yeah. That's obviously. No, if that was the last three lines, that means no matter what, there wasn't going to be more dragons after these three.

Matt (50:37.305)
Yeah, you've defeated yourself because she said that was the last of her line.

Luciano (50:39.453)
Yeah.

Matt (50:45.065)
So her ovulation cycle is 500 years.

Luciano (50:48.717)
She's in Dragon Manopause. This is what happened. Ha ha ha.

Spencer (50:49.258)
I don't think so.

Matt (51:01.437)
Well, let's assume she's a specific sect or species of dragon. Her kind, so if she's a black dragon, let's say, there could be other red and green and orange dragons, but effectively her people are dumb. That's what she says. And so if you're saying she can reproduce asexually.

Spencer (51:04.834)
They're because their line is over because but the line's over because those dragons died. If they survived, then the line would have continued because they can reproduce without males.

Luciano (51:06.147)
Hmm

Luciano (51:16.233)
Yeah, that was the idea.

Spencer (51:22.175)
Whether I'm high or not has nothing to do with the validity of my points. Sorry, sorry.

Matt (51:27.585)
Spencer, you can... Are you high? You said... Chris, other Chris. So the question we're asking is... The three eggs gone. Last of her line. No more eggs, no more babies to be made by those three eggs. If you're suggesting she can reproduce age sexually...

Luciano (51:28.757)
What are you do- what- are you high? Hahahaha

Spencer (51:45.982)
Not if she only has one time chance to produce babies. It's inferred.

Matt (51:56.357)
She can just make more eggs. Therefore, not the last of her line.

Luciano (51:56.377)
She could, yeah.

Matt (52:03.723)
You didn't say that in your initial. Are you adding? No.

Spencer (52:05.866)
That's why there's three eggs.

Luciano (52:06.249)
Well, I think I would think it's inferred because a fire breathing dragon who's not immune to her own fire Would be a dragon that can only lay eggs once in a lifetime It's like it just tracks that It's just stupid I guess this is what spencer is saying. Her species is dumb Fair yeah spencer stupid there

Spencer (52:13.685)
Brums.

Matt (52:18.442)
three.

Spencer (52:18.931)
Listen.

Spencer (52:22.988)
So you think that these three female dragons she laid were going to be the last generation no matter what?

Matt (52:25.801)
Don't help Spencer, he dug his grave and we want to bury him in it.

Spencer (52:32.382)
Where, where, where the, but there's no other males.

Matt (52:32.733)
Yeah, idiot. God.

Spencer (52:38.682)
Hahaha

Luciano (52:41.465)
No! Why are you missing the point so badly? The-

Spencer (52:41.818)
Ah, I'm almost...

Matt (52:42.401)
That's... What is happening?

Spencer (52:47.907)
You know what? You know what? I think I think I think I got a bit confused because she says the last of her line not the last of the species.

Matt (52:49.133)
I ask what happened to Dragon Daddy, how the fuck did we get to here?

Luciano (52:54.425)
Dragon Daddy is buying dragon smokes and dragon scratches. Yeah.

Matt (52:57.93)
Right, with dragon scratchers. Great question answered.

Spencer (52:59.006)
So I thought it was the last of their species.

Spencer (53:05.38)
Sorry.

Luciano (53:08.617)
No, she says the less of my kind. Yeah, yeah. Also, but wait a minute. They would be the last because even if Dragon Daddy hadn't gone for dragon smokes, unless he would be dragon incestuous, those three would just be three female dragons, they wouldn't have a male.

Matt (53:09.045)
She says kind. Kind.

Matt (53:15.206)
It could be. What are you doing here? I said we were done.

Spencer (53:20.879)
How about you be dragging these nuts outta here?

Matt (53:30.184)
You ha- we don't need to get into the whole Adam and Eve- Adam and Eve paradox.

Luciano (53:32.076)
Hahahaha!

Spencer (53:35.306)
My favorite character. Definitely the breakout star of the film.

Luciano (53:37.247)
Hahaha, nice!

Matt (53:38.337)
Well, perfect. Moving on. We have the initial king show up with his entourage of soldiers. Right? So they show up and they know they're going down to kill this dragon. That's the plan, right? He's going down there to crush the eggs and murder the dragon.

Luciano (53:49.366)
Hahaha!

The, uh, the, the LEGO soldiers.

Spencer (53:57.194)
Oh, no, you see what they were trained to do. They were trained to hold the line.

Matt (54:03.489)
I don't know what those guys did to train to successfully defeat a dragon. Because we see none of it on display. Stand in a circle.

Luciano (54:11.281)
They... yeah... no... yeah... it was... it was... it was... it was square dancing. That's what they were training for. Because you see how they move in a perfect triangle? That takes coordination.

Matt (54:17.785)
Oh, that's right.

Matt (54:25.459)
So they... Yeah, so okay, so they... Well, it's triangle dancing for them. They don't even call it a square. They don't know it could be a square.

Luciano (54:33.574)
They didn't know there were a shape with four corners, only three. It was too far in the past. Hahahaha!

Matt (54:36.741)
Yeah, yeah, that's right. That's too far. Like you can get the four, four line shapes in the past. Three was the max. Um, so basically the training consisted of four hours of someone yelling, hold the line with them.

Spencer (54:38.994)
Yeah, and then just staying because the first

Luciano (54:42.71)
Yeah

Spencer (54:50.107)
It takes four it takes four hours to form the line oh Wow, these guys are good

Luciano (54:50.913)
Whole, yeah, yeah.

Matt (54:53.738)
Let's stay. Yeah, okay.

Luciano (54:54.577)
is form the line and hold it. Form the line, hold, and that's it. Exactly.

Matt (54:57.405)
Yeah. Four hours of form, four hours of hold. And you don't alternate, it's just four hours of form in the morning.

and then another four hour to hold. Yeah. It's practice.

Spencer (55:06.134)
Well, that's the thing. It's like when the movies, when the movie started, they're like, what was it like? 10 horseback riders riding towards this cave. And I'm like, oh, they're going to take out this dragon. These guys must be good if there's only like 10 of them. Right. I'm like, if they think that they have a chance against the dragon. And the first thing they do is they all stand in one spot. And the first six of them get immediately melted. And then.

Luciano (55:06.345)
And then four hours to hold, yeah.

So they were very good at moving together in a shape, but they had no idea what to do with the weapons. Amazing dancers though.

Luciano (55:29.494)
Yeah.

Matt (55:29.503)
Yep.

Luciano (55:33.632)
Yeah.

Matt (55:33.826)
Yeah.

Spencer (55:36.094)
And then the best part is that the king goes, hold! Like, they all get melted, they all get killed. Yeah, that's, pay it off. Like I thought if I was that king, if I was that king I'd be like, spread out! Like you know, surrounding it, like so we're not all in a bowl.

Luciano (55:44.521)
Yeah, like three quarters of them get firebombed to oblivion immediately.

Luciano (55:52.237)
And then the four leather-lefts surround him? Is that... What is that gonna do?

Matt (55:57.921)
With that, that is the 4 plus 4 hours of training they received. The made them not flinch. For the king.

Luciano (56:01.893)
Yeah, it's a Pavlovian response.

Spencer (56:04.119)
Grind! Grind through her legs! Yeah. No, she still had her right eye at that point.

Matt (56:09.717)
Ha ha ha.

Luciano (56:11.747)
Also, you have crossbows shoot this dragon is stupid even if he didn't know that Yeah, yeah shoot her right eye she won't be able to see through the dust Yeah

Matt (56:19.747)
the

Spencer (56:19.891)
Oh, I got, oh, man, I missed that, I missed that.

Spencer (56:24.83)
He didn't know. They were so close though. They almost got her.

Luciano (56:29.021)
No, this is I said this what I said should her right eye so she won't be able to see it yet.

Matt (56:33.649)
You don't learn, Elodie learned that, not him. He didn't get that at level. Okay, no.

Spencer (56:36.246)
immediately surrenders. Yeah.

Luciano (56:36.953)
Clearly. Yeah. I like, I like how that like all of that happens. Nobody, nobody does anything. And then he's the only one left and he tosses his sword and goes, well, guess I'm fucked.

Spencer (56:46.503)
Yeah, they tried nothing and they were all out of ideas.

Matt (56:52.943)
genius move. It only cost him three people every generation. What the fuck did he care?

Spencer (56:52.971)
They didn't even attack, eh? They just held.

Luciano (56:56.018)
Yeah. Oh my god.

Spencer (57:00.627)
Yeah, yeah, warm and old. That's all we can afford. That's what it's worth, it's worth the money.

Luciano (57:01.977)
Yeah, that's exactly what that's the name of the course that they did. No, they didn't try it. There was no there was.

Matt (57:02.261)
There really were.

Matt (57:09.033)
That I didn't say there's two courses

Luciano (57:12.637)
Yeah, hold form and hold. That's it. Nobody said anything about attacking.

Matt (57:15.137)
That's it.

It's worked for generations.

Matt (57:22.741)
Different question. I'm curious, we throw, they go through a very elaborate thing as Spencer pointed out, even to the point of when Hank is like, hey, I have to carry you across the threshold. Like, could you just shuffer? Like...

Luciano (57:24.505)
Okay.

Spencer (57:29.202)
Everyone's in on it. Why are we pretending like this is a surprise? You have 45 people there. Just grab her and throw her in.

Luciano (57:35.769)
Thank you.

Spencer (57:41.463)
Yeah, he's like, just stand right there. Yeah, this is, what's their kingdom called? Is it Aria?

Luciano (57:43.609)
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Matt (57:44.083)
Yeah!

Luciano (57:46.813)
Like the moment they high-five is like, okay, finally, you just sparked to her. You know, it just...

Matt (57:52.371)
Yeah, the Eyes Wide Shut party knows.

Spencer (57:52.918)
This is a dragon cave! Heheheheh

Luciano (57:55.513)
Oh yeah, that is white shirt. Yeah. Aria and then yeah, Aria. Yeah. I, I have enjoyed, I, I have enjoyed that.

Matt (58:01.537)
Yeah. Yeah. And then kick her off the little... .. Yeah. But yeah, so like, anyways, that's not the point of this. The point of this is like, they- they- they chuck all these princesses down this- effectively well into the dragon's lair. But like, they get fucked up on their way down. And you're telling me they all survive that?

Spencer (58:02.808)
I'm sorry.

Spencer (58:13.374)
Yeah. I was like, she's so lucky to survive that fall. And then I'm like, Oh, that's everyone.

Luciano (58:16.237)
Ha ha!

Luciano (58:25.375)
Yeah.

Luciano (58:30.754)
Yep. Yeah, I was too. I was like, how is she not? How didn't she break every like all both her arms and both her legs and maybe her head? No. Okay, I don't understand. I'll tell you how I'll tell you how the princess broker they make sure to find the princesses with the hardest heads. It's part of the research.

Matt (58:31.413)
Yeah.

Spencer (58:39.09)
I hate you. I thought you were going to say they like soften the ground at least or something. Almost every question.

Matt (58:40.361)
Okay so like, so then... How?

Matt (58:53.213)
You know, sometimes my instincts say just move on. And the other day, almost every question. No, but so the question I have for this is, after whatever that was, is... What? No. We're taking an informal poll amongst an arbitrary set of people. Luciano, you said it's not informal.

Luciano (58:58.294)
Yeah, you should listen to them.

Spencer (58:58.552)
Was it? Was it though? Was it?

Luciano (59:08.185)
That was an answer, Matt. A bad one, but it was.

Spencer (59:16.137)
Wait, wait,

Luciano (59:19.04)
No.

Spencer (59:21.834)
Why not both?

Luciano (59:22.754)
I think it wasn't an answer. Yeah. HAHAHAHAHA DAMN IT! I foiled myself! Not soiled, I foiled myself I said.

Matt (59:24.241)
It wasn't an answer? Okay, so we have a clean sweep. It wasn't an answer. Three people voted. Yeah.

Fair enough, we'll change that in post. Why not both? For soils. So, but someone ends up dead. And like, does that count? How does this work for the dragon if the girl dies on the way down? How does that play out?

Spencer (59:35.33)
There's no way that counts because the dragon be like Well, yeah, you're throwing you're throwing corpses down here. You think that counts?

Luciano (59:35.753)
Why not? Yo, por que no los dos? Anyway...

Luciano (59:44.046)
Mmm.

Spencer (59:48.262)
For some reason she's British Oi! It's a dead body! You fucking torso!

Luciano (59:50.917)
Where's my sport? Yeah, yeah

Matt (59:55.473)
Right, so the dragon yells up like, Oi, we got a dead one again or something like... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oi, mate! Hehe

Luciano (01:00:00.371)
Yeah, yeah, of course exactly like that exactly like that. Oi! Oi is it is a corpse in it?

Spencer (01:00:09.186)
Can I give you one of these? He's slowly turning Italian. Oi! What am I gonna do with this?

Luciano (01:00:11.714)
Oi, bruv! Bruv! You tossin' corpses now? Yeah.

Matt (01:00:19.381)
Yeah.

Luciano (01:00:24.169)
Wait, did I just went to Chicago?

Spencer (01:00:24.326)
Oh he's here! He's back!

Matt (01:00:24.441)
One Italian. I was waiting for Conor Mcgregor to show up and end it so it's fine. There he is. He's back. So okay, so like, it doesn't count. Do they have to notify them? Or does the kingdom just keep pitching princesses down until they get a thumbs up?

Luciano (01:00:35.393)
Ha ta ta, corpses! Ha ha

Spencer (01:00:43.35)
That's a good question, how do they know if the girl dies on the fall?

I mean, I guess by that logic it would count. Maybe the dragon just eats them even if they're dead and they just think it's an easy dub.

Matt (01:00:51.317)
Like three dragon breasts at night says you're covered?

Luciano (01:00:58.257)
Yeah. Hmm.

Spencer (01:01:05.794)
but she's also dumb.

Matt (01:01:08.721)
Yeah, but the dragon really wants the murder. That's a whole thing. Yeah.

Spencer (01:01:12.725)
Hahaha

Luciano (01:01:13.409)
Yeah, she likes to toy with them first.

Spencer (01:01:16.918)
Oh, bruv, I'm sorry! I- My mistake!

Luciano (01:01:18.465)
That's it. Ah, there you go. She yells up, Oi, this is a corpse. And she's like, no, it's not. Okay, maybe it isn't. Yeah.

Matt (01:01:20.573)
Well, we have it like-

Matt (01:01:27.689)
Oh, I see it move, nevermind. Oh, it's fine, the corpse moved, it's fine.

Spencer (01:01:28.288)
I don't know why this dragon is so British, but we'll allow it.

Matt (01:01:40.101)
Um It's fun, okay, so no, it's fine. I was just curious about that, but apparently there's no answer to this It's just a series of messages back and forth Mm-hmm. It is We'll never understand it

Luciano (01:01:40.342)
AHHHHH

Luciano (01:01:43.975)
Yeah.

Spencer (01:01:43.998)
I think they have their, her lawyer talk to their lawyer in an arbitrator. Yeah. They, and they, they work it out. It's all, it's all, it's all very hush hush.

Luciano (01:01:52.713)
It's a real legal conundrum.

Luciano (01:02:00.218)
Their lawyer, yeah.

Spencer (01:02:01.645)
Yeah.

Matt (01:02:01.958)
Is it an arbitration? Yeah, it's indefinite arbitration.

Matt (01:02:11.309)
Send in a male notary and she can't kill him.

Luciano (01:02:15.985)
I mean she can't kill him. She's killed a lot of men more men than women in this movie

Matt (01:02:18.321)
That's... Well, that's not what I saw. Anyways, next question. Perfect segue.

Spencer (01:02:24.028)
Okay.

Matt (01:02:28.321)
Lord Braiford. He has land. Lord Braiford? Elodie's dead. He has land. He is not a king as I've been told at the beginning of this podcast.

Spencer (01:02:29.146)
I thought his name was King Bradley. Wasn't paying attention.

Luciano (01:02:33.351)
Who? Ellen is dead

Spencer (01:02:40.891)
Yeah, apologies.

Luciano (01:02:43.369)
Yeah, King Brick. Ha ha ha.

Matt (01:02:49.137)
Things that were said in the beginning of the podcast prep. Stay in the podcast prep. You son of a bitch. But anyway, so Lord Braford or Bayford has a fiefdom, we'll call it. And when we get there, it's like fucked. Permafrost, no trees for miles, all that jazz. No, no, it's fine. It's always just a little cold. Cold enough for frost, but not frozen. Figure that one out.

Luciano (01:02:53.611)
Clearly they do not.

Spencer (01:03:04.086)
It's a bit nippy. No, they say. It's a bit nippy, isn't it? Isn't it, bruv? No, they say it's cause the cold. That's why they're having issues. Cause they say it's not gonna get us through to the thaw. Yes, bruv. Sorry. Ask it.

Luciano (01:03:07.349)
except it's not frozen at all, but let's let that slide.

Luciano (01:03:16.409)
Because it doesn't rain, that's why. Wait, the dragon's there? Oh my god! Hahahaha

Matt (01:03:19.215)
What we have in the stout sheep.

Matt (01:03:30.526)
But how does this?

Spencer (01:03:34.79)
Well, they were

Luciano (01:03:35.158)
Yeah.

Matt (01:03:35.313)
Yeah, but... Okay, Spencer... Hey, hey Spencer... Shut the fuck up and let me ask the question. How did it get so fucked up?

Spencer (01:03:39.975)
His, his, his fight, everyone's broved now. Oh boy bro, let me answer the question bro. Um, I think that his fiefdom was a, was a big proponent of, uh, using fossil fuels.

Luciano (01:03:48.373)
Like weather-wise or just in general?

Matt (01:03:51.001)
I'm asking questions, bruv. You gotta answer them.

Luciano (01:03:53.91)
Oi!

Spencer (01:03:58.867)
fossil fuels, did believe in climate change. They used oil. For everything toothpaste.

Matt (01:04:08.933)
NFTs? Uh, possibly OC, okay.

Luciano (01:04:09.185)
fossil fuels, yeah, yeah. They didn't believe in climate change.

Spencer (01:04:11.198)
everything water for the bath but they'd set it on fire when they were done with it which led to the ice age which is what we're seeing

Luciano (01:04:24.22)
Like water for the bath. Yeah. Yeah

Spencer (01:04:29.546)
Sorry, you're right. It's the great fire. Yeah. Yes. Yeah, I think they, at first they wanted to get, they liked it was getting colder because it meant they didn't, like they were able to have drinks with ice in it, which they enjoyed at first. They're well hydrated.

Luciano (01:04:34.593)
What?

Matt (01:04:35.823)
Well, technically, first lighting how the oil baths on fire led to the great fire of 03. And then a little warming and then the ice stage. Okay, now we're on the same page.

Luciano (01:04:41.841)
Yeah, and then global warming and then the Ice Age.

Spencer (01:04:52.326)
Yeah, yeah, exactly. They were enjoying it at first. They didn't see the repercussions until it was too late.

As in like one day before this movie started.

Luciano (01:05:01.805)
Is this like turning on the AC just to be able to use a duvet? Okay

Spencer (01:05:07.03)
it's food and they're like, OI! It's cold bruv! Is it just me? Is it cold bruv? In it? I'm hungry bruv! Get me one of them wall burgers I don't know I can't even say it without laughing

Luciano (01:05:13.785)
Hmm

Luciano (01:05:18.106)
And they were like, huh, oh food, that's what we forgot, fuck.

Matt (01:05:29.069)
Oh, it's covered. It's cold.

Luciano (01:05:30.87)
Yeah.

Spencer (01:05:34.85)
Because Walbergers paid me to block them.

Matt (01:05:35.366)
Oh well.

Luciano (01:05:39.601)
Why wall burgers? Hahaha!

Luciano (01:05:44.121)
Ha ha!

Matt (01:05:51.209)
Alright, moving on. Oh, this is a perfect, this is actually a good segue. Explain to me how they created the Dragon Eats food delivery service. How are they getting these princesses? How are they tricking them into these elaborate wedding ceremonies? Why did they come up with the elaborate wedding ceremonies? Give me everything. I want all the details.

Spencer (01:06:01.422)
Okay. Well, I don't know. What I'm fascinated with in this whole process is this, cause originally it was his real three daughters that he killed, right? The King's daughters. And they were, I assume there was like a couple generations or maybe just one or two when they were like, after a while they're like, we don't want to give up our real heirs.

Luciano (01:06:12.345)
Hmm

Matt (01:06:27.369)
Right. Yep.

Spencer (01:06:28.534)
when we can get we don't want to kill rich people we can just kill poor people. So. That I assume that's how the conversation went as the rich do. But I imagine like there was a couple trials where they're like we'll just put it to other girl down like the dragon won't notice.

Matt (01:06:35.429)
Still doing it that way. Yeah.

Luciano (01:06:46.777)
Yeah. As you do.

Spencer (01:06:52.734)
No, I imagine step one was just, I think step one was just tossing a girl down there. Yeah, like they're gonna be like, how would they know? Like how would the dragon know? Yeah, yeah.

Luciano (01:06:59.829)
No, I think they probably started with just getting married. Let's just marry one. Let's get a commoner, tell her she's going to be a princess and toss it.

Spencer (01:07:09.594)
Yeah, think I'm stupid, bruv.

Luciano (01:07:10.367)
Random girls there?

Matt (01:07:12.177)
Yeah, see if you get the... See if you get the oil, bruv. Checks out.

Spencer (01:07:13.922)
I just imagine the dragon just, I imagine the dragon just thought they were being nice and just tossing extra food and just being like, that's nice. They're like, they're, they're giving me a free meal here and there. Cause otherwise the dragon would have lost it, right? If the dragon knew. Yeah. If the dragon knew for sure, it would have fucked them up. So they did, they did a couple of test runs, but then they were like, when they, when their lawyers met, they weren't, the dragon wasn't happy.

Luciano (01:07:16.237)
Yeah, just a toss a random girl that oh, hey, bro, you see this is not your daughter. No, it's not Fuck well back to the drawing board

Matt (01:07:22.374)
Yeah.

Luciano (01:07:38.861)
Oi! There's a bribe in it! That's what you said. And it was like, yeah.

Spencer (01:07:45.62)
Yeah.

Luciano (01:07:54.854)
The Dragon Lawyers wrote a Thursday's worded letter to them to say this is not acceptable, bruv.

Matt (01:08:00.801)
So the dragon set the basement of, you have to have some level of royalty or nobility and you have to have a wedding. Because by this whole system, you get the commonest peasant bitch you can find. Sorry, but, not sorry.

Spencer (01:08:04.347)
Yeah, you went back on your words.

Spencer (01:08:12.418)
There is no wedding.

Luciano (01:08:17.557)
Yeah, well, yeah, I know, I think you may be onto something because like, when they tossed Floria, the sister, they did the high five, but there was no wedding. And she was like, I'm not going to eat this.

Matt (01:08:30.275)
Mmm, she didn't. That's right, she did not eat her.

Luciano (01:08:32.073)
Yeah, I think you're onto something. I think it's like the legal contract they drafted at the end required all of those steps, including the weird super quick wardrobe change for the Queen from Queen to Red Priestess.

Spencer (01:08:35.606)
You think though, you think that all the things that they do is like almost like seasoning the food. It's like every like all these levels. It's like just it makes the meal a little bit better for the dragon. It's like wait.

Well, to a dragon, everything's edible.

Luciano (01:08:54.89)
like.

Luciano (01:08:59.809)
Wait, you think the dress is edible? Is that what you're thinking? Hahaha, true!

Matt (01:09:00.042)
So like the...

Matt (01:09:06.193)
No, but I get what Spencer's saying. It's like, you're making this recipe. So it isn't just the blood high five. It's like the blood high five is the chicken, but all the other things you do around are the seasoning, the spices, the gravy.

Spencer (01:09:13.606)
Now we see it's all part of the process. Let let him cook.

Luciano (01:09:19.445)
Oh, and that's what they toss them into like the well because it tenderizes the meat. There you go. This is, this is a very, yeah, this is a very like delicate and intricate process. It's not, you can't skip steps.

Spencer (01:09:23.958)
So when they dropped, yeah they skipped a step with Florian, what's her name? They skipped a step with Florian, the dragon was like, I, this is in season, I bro, this is no salt on my steak.

Matt (01:09:25.446)
Now you're getting it.

Matt (01:09:32.497)
as they say.

Matt (01:09:36.605)
Right, and we skip steps.

Spencer (01:09:40.782)
the

Luciano (01:09:41.133)
Floria, Floria.

Spencer (01:09:45.892)
All we can say is, oi bro.

Matt (01:09:48.19)
Okay.

Luciano (01:09:50.003)
No

Matt (01:09:50.909)
Oi, bruv! What is this shit?

Spencer (01:09:51.246)
yeah michael oi his long distance uh half brother

Luciano (01:09:53.125)
Yeah, I like how the oi bruv comes out right and then the accent just goes wherever he wants to go.

Matt (01:09:57.321)
Mm-hmm. Fals, off a clip. Oi, bruh- No, we can say, Oi, bruh, then Michael Cocaine.

Luciano (01:10:03.785)
Yeah, Michael, Michael cocaine, not my cocaine, Michael cocaine.

Matt (01:10:08.166)
But...

Spencer (01:10:08.232)
I'm Michael Crap Cocaine. Michael Crap Cocaine.

Matt (01:10:10.885)
but it wasn't a British accent the whole time.

Luciano (01:10:13.338)
Very very few people know his middle name is crack

Spencer (01:10:17.064)
Yes, I am related. No relation to Michael Caine. I just talk like him. I'm Michael Caine.

Matt (01:10:18.281)
That's for his close friend.

Luciano (01:10:20.261)
Close friends, yeah. Ah, hello. I am crack cocaine. Ha ha ha. Yeah.

Spencer (01:10:29.774)
Heheheheh

Matt (01:10:30.069)
You're welcome.

Luciano (01:10:31.943)
Oh god.

Matt (01:10:33.734)
Not really, yeah.

Luciano (01:10:36.047)
Hahaha!

Spencer (01:10:39.132)
the process, the Dragonese delivery service. So that's how they, yeah, I think that's pretty much it, right?

Luciano (01:10:42.121)
Yeah, I have a speech impediment.

Matt (01:10:46.345)
I might. Um, where were we?

Luciano (01:10:50.626)
Talking about Dragon Eats delivery service.

Matt (01:10:55.093)
Oh, we solved that, right? Yeah. Yep. Different question. Who King Roderick? Why King Roderick? Yeah, who? That's the first... Let me finish. Who King Roderick? Why King Roderick? Where King Roderick? What King Roderick? Why King Roderick?

Luciano (01:10:56.196)
I think we solved it, yeah.

Spencer (01:10:56.414)
I was confused before. He was my favorite character of the movie. So that was my favorite character.

Luciano (01:11:07.533)
Who? Hahaha! It could have been played by a clay statue.

Spencer (01:11:14.69)
So what was your favorite Ken Roderick line?

Spencer (01:11:22.203)
Hehehehehehe

Matt (01:11:23.589)
when King Rock started I said why and how King Rock

Luciano (01:11:27.249)
Yeah, I don't understand why he needed to exist.

Spencer (01:11:30.09)
Oh yeah, that was a great scene. Uh, yeah, I liked that scene. I like this. I like the part when you said, uh, Alan Rickman. That was a great scene. Yeah, that's all these I had. There was, it was, it took me out of the movie a bit.

Luciano (01:11:34.562)
It was when it was when Elodie tried to run away and he said, I pity the fool who tries to run away. That was my favorite line. Yeah.

Character establishing moment.

Spencer (01:11:52.278)
No, King Roderick had no lines. Am I wrong? Why was he like, why design this character? Why hire the actor, create the character, the costumes, fuck, all that. He did not say a word.

Luciano (01:11:54.307)
He just said Alan Rickman. That's all he said. Yeah. It was a good scene. Yeah. Good homage to a great actor who's passed on.

Luciano (01:12:10.59)
Why did he need to exist in this way? He did nothing!

Matt (01:12:14.004)
I don't.

Luciano (01:12:18.721)
But the costume.

Matt (01:12:26.465)
I mean, listen, I was looking up the actor who played him because I was curious, Milo Tuomi. And he's known for four things because that's what they put in those box. First one, Damsel. That's the thing he's most known for. We think might even be on there. It's not. The second thing on the list is Damsel, this film. Right? Great.

Spencer (01:12:27.318)
Miming.

Spencer (01:12:30.806)
Hehehehe

Luciano (01:12:33.784)
Okay.

Luciano (01:12:37.537)
being the director's cousin.

Spencer (01:12:39.414)
This film. The film we watched.

Luciano (01:12:42.219)
My mink.

Luciano (01:12:49.941)
What's the first wait? Oh, wow.

Spencer (01:12:52.749)
Wow, that's... did he play the side of the windows? That's pretty apt. That's funny.

Matt (01:12:56.073)
The second thing on his list is he in 1996, he was in a TV series called Silent Witness. And you know what part he played? I assume, I didn't click on it. I have no idea. I'll look. I assume.

Spencer (01:13:04.37)
Yeah, you think?

Luciano (01:13:05.269)
Perfect casting the silent witness

Spencer (01:13:10.782)
So was he, I assume she was actually the bloodline and he married her, right?

Luciano (01:13:13.589)
He took a vow of silence when he was 12. And now they have to write characters around him. Fuck this guy again. He can't speak, what do we do?

Spencer (01:13:19.074)
So he's got it made, he's got no problems.

Luciano (01:13:27.997)
Yeah, for sure. Yeah. For sure. For sure.

Spencer (01:13:29.886)
Wow. Is he still the silent witness? 30 years I pictured them talking to him. Sir, for the last time, what did you see on that night? It's him just not saying a word. Yeah. Find out next week on another episode of Silent Witness.

Luciano (01:13:36.226)
And he had a male son, so they were safe there.

Matt (01:13:38.831)
But what? Sorry, this TV series has been going on since 1998. It still is happening right now. Yeah. Like.

Luciano (01:13:43.549)
Oh my god. They're 30 years old?! Like what the fuck?

Luciano (01:13:57.164)
Just emoting at the camera? Yeah.

Matt (01:14:00.257)
He was only in... .. He was only in... Let's see here... 8 episodes of the first season of this TV series So they didn't need the witness after that apparently.

Spencer (01:14:08.658)
That gimmick went out real quick.

Luciano (01:14:12.661)
Nice.

Luciano (01:14:16.713)
Oh, they needed one that talked. The talking witness. Yeah.

Matt (01:14:19.489)
The talking witness after that.

Matt (01:14:24.317)
Yeah, he really did. Um, but yeah, like, what is his purpose in this film? Because he clearly, like, he doesn't do anything to say like, oh, we need a king around to legitimize the kingdom. Like, no one seems to care about that shit. You know, Robin Wright runs that shit tight.

Luciano (01:14:24.394)
Yeah.

Spencer (01:14:28.49)
His character screams to me as a character that had lines that were cut.

Luciano (01:14:36.637)
No.

Spencer (01:14:37.963)
You know what I mean?

Luciano (01:14:40.556)
Yeah.

Spencer (01:14:48.622)
Oh yeah!

Luciano (01:14:50.453)
But even then, what could possibly have said that would change anything in this movie?

Matt (01:14:57.885)
So when we see the director's cut, he was teaching the dragon the king's English, as it were. Yeah.

Spencer (01:14:58.194)
Yeah, you don't hear him talking, but he has a thick cockney accent.

Luciano (01:14:59.093)
Oi, bruv! He was the one translating from the dragon.

Luciano (01:15:08.184)
Ah, there you go. We cracked it.

Luciano (01:15:14.937)
Cockney accent. The reason he didn't speak is because he only speaks in cockney rhyming slang and nobody understands

Spencer (01:15:15.478)
No, it's come full circle But he's from Liverpool, I'm okay from Liverpool No, no relation. He's just different British

Matt (01:15:20.021)
Correct. And because he doesn't want the dragon to know he's related to the royal family, he introduces himself as Michael Cocaine.

Luciano (01:15:28.434)
I...

There you go.

Matt (01:15:31.698)
Yeah. Michael Kocine.

Luciano (01:15:38.052)
From Liverpool? Why? Why Liverpool?

Spencer (01:15:39.735)
How could we possibly answer that? He's a character who says nothing. We have nothing to go on.

Matt (01:15:39.81)
No relation.

Matt (01:15:44.969)
You gotta come from somewhere mate. Alright, we didn't really answer that but I don't know if there's ever gonna be a way to answer. All we do here is improv. You won't even do it. They did actually. Yeah multiple.

Luciano (01:15:51.558)
I don't think that was an answer.

Spencer (01:15:55.01)
You want me to give a backstory for why he's silent? He was against the killing of these innocent women, so the queen cut his tongue out.

Luciano (01:15:58.)
Hahaha!

Like the dead princesses had more of a... Like there's a dead princess that had a line.

Spencer (01:16:09.45)
yes that's what I said after it's done with cut up no you want me to talk I'm not if you're gonna cut my tongue out I'm not even gonna talk anymore

Luciano (01:16:17.345)
There you go.

Matt (01:16:17.661)
All right, great. Took a bow of silence. Nailed it.

Luciano (01:16:22.433)
He took a ball of silence afterward. He was like, no, it's not because you cut my tongue, it's because I don't wanna speak. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Matt (01:16:24.562)
Yeah.

Matt (01:16:32.091)
Yeah, thank you.

Matt (01:16:37.885)
He showed her 20 years later. She is not happy. So at the end of the movie, the dragon and Elodie come to common ground, we'll call it, and they strut into the castle. Yeah, for, catwalk almost, for what seems to be at least a second marriage with Hank and a local girl.

Luciano (01:16:38.833)
Jesus Christ.

Luciano (01:16:54.316)
Perfect word Strutt catwalk almost into the castle. Yeah.

Spencer (01:17:05.208)
and everyone else.

Luciano (01:17:07.453)
Another desperate, another desperate princess, yes.

Matt (01:17:07.813)
not local girl. Yeah. And then they proceed to kill the royal family and trash the castle. And if anybody else is in the way, so be it. What else? So what happens the next day? Like, we talked a bit about the business that Lodi and the dragon obviously have, but what about the rest of the kingdom? Like, does someone take over as the king or queen? Is anybody talking about?

Spencer (01:17:10.002)
I appreciated that.

Spencer (01:17:29.622)
I think they're gonna... I assume they saw the dragon? So they know the dragon killed everybody.

Matt (01:17:38.476)
the murder, does anybody know what happened? Like, we gotta know.

Luciano (01:17:41.41)
Hmm.

Spencer (01:17:42.558)
Actually, the whole kingdom was on fire by the end, right?

Luciano (01:17:48.965)
Yeah, I mean the dragon was throwing a tantrum and burning the clouds before so I'm pretty sure they saw that

Spencer (01:17:51.05)
Wasn't...

Luciano (01:17:59.259)
No, just the castle. Yeah.

Matt (01:17:59.261)
Well, we just saw the castle, but we never saw anything else but the castle. Right? Like we didn't see. Yeah. There's no cities. There's no leans or huts or that's roof cottages anywhere.

Spencer (01:18:01.582)
So there's nothing really to take over then.

Luciano (01:18:04.061)
We've established that everybody else was dead because they were all fed to the dragon at one point.

Luciano (01:18:17.247)
And nobody to do the taking over either.

Matt (01:18:19.569)
Right. Yeah. Okay. So, so then they torch it out.

Luciano (01:18:22.515)
I think the other kingdoms go to war to split it up.

Spencer (01:18:24.739)
No one is there to usurp the throne? Does it really burn?

Matt (01:18:27.725)
Does anybody even know that happened that if they're not there if a small island nation burns to the ground does anybody hear? Yeah, does it make a sound?

Spencer (01:18:33.098)
The answer is yes. They come by to say to give them a fruit basket as a gift on the wedding, which they're getting real sick of because they have to do it like three times for every fucking kid. They're like, I'm they.

Luciano (01:18:33.946)
and nobody's there to hear it. Does it even burn?

Matt (01:18:41.565)
Yeah. These are all questions.

Luciano (01:18:45.889)
Well, we see.

Spencer (01:18:51.322)
No, that's it. They're sick giving. They used to give good gifts, but then they're like they're getting married again They got married four days ago. I'm not giving I'm not giving cash again

Matt (01:18:53.291)
Do you think?

Matt (01:18:59.59)
I was curious if, sorry Spencer, continue.

Spencer (01:19:08.382)
Yeah. Like old DVDs. And then, but they, but, but yeah, they act like it's like a really good gift, but it's like, this is my prize 1999 Godzilla movie. It's, it's, it's one of my favorites.

Luciano (01:19:12.702)
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Luciano (01:19:16.673)
They like at this point they show up with like socks and like washcloths and whatever. Yeah. Like $1 bin DVDs. Yeah.

Spencer (01:19:31.17)
Ha ha

Luciano (01:19:35.861)
Yeah. Here I present to you in this most important of your days, Kickboxer 5, the DVD.

Spencer (01:19:37.39)
Oh yeah, yeah. And it's opened, obviously.

Matt (01:19:45.237)
But it's like, it's clearly like a sleeve that came out of the box set of kickboxer movies. You don't need to.

Spencer (01:19:46.986)
And they're like, now it doesn't say on the box, but if it skips, but at the, what the halfway through, you just gotta give it a little, a little blow on the disc. I just know this. Don't ask me how. Just give it a little blow. It's common knowledge. Yeah. It's part of the kickboxer experience.

Luciano (01:19:50.237)
Yeah.

Luciano (01:19:54.798)
With like, they made the cover of the DVD like on paint. Yeah.

Matt (01:19:58.508)
Yeah, they just like photocopied it.

Luciano (01:20:06.557)
Little jiggle, little jiggle, yeah.

Matt (01:20:07.27)
We'll tap. Yeah.

It's common with all those versions. Yeah. Cause I was wondering if, Oh wow, Bruce. Just give it a second.

Luciano (01:20:11.401)
Yeah.

Luciano (01:20:17.036)
Hahaha!

Spencer (01:20:21.271)
Just.

Matt (01:20:30.581)
It's really hard to just edit that out. We'll just wait. I'm going to cut it all out rather than work through it, so to speak. Yeah.

Luciano (01:20:35.801)
Just cut it. Yeah. Trying to yeah, there you go

Spencer (01:20:36.834)
Dare they.

Luciano (01:20:44.406)
Or not.

Matt (01:20:46.077)
It's probably something on the hallway. Give me a sec.

Luciano (01:20:52.589)
How dare they walk in the building that they live in?

Matt (01:20:59.525)
Okay, I'm going to start again then. So, but the question I have about this is, do you think that maybe there's a parent who's a really bad parent and like finds out that this cash is paying? So like six years, he just rolls on by with his other daughter and be like, Hey, here you guys are paying.

Spencer (01:21:03.863)
Moving on, next question.

Luciano (01:21:12.573)
Yes, his name is Lord Bayford. That's, that's, yes there is. Ha ha ha.

Spencer (01:21:15.611)
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well. Wait, why is he so British? I guess he is kind of British.

Oh, so, yeah.

Luciano (01:21:27.481)
Yeah, you guys are pretty white bro. You guys are pretty

Matt (01:21:34.192)
Yeah.

Matt (01:21:37.917)
He is actually, yeah. No, that's great. Thank you. Last question. What if a generation of royals only had girls? Would they off them? Would they?

Luciano (01:21:37.953)
He is, yeah.

Spencer (01:21:42.046)
No. They have to keep the royal bloodline going.

Luciano (01:21:47.648)
Mmm.

Spencer (01:21:53.066)
Well the dragon doesn't know shit, so... The dragon thinks it's eating the royal bloodline, so...

Luciano (01:21:56.253)
Mmm, good question.

Matt (01:21:59.701)
So then does the dragon acknowledge same-sex marriages?

Luciano (01:22:06.113)
Good question. Or just.

Yeah, Dragon's dumb, remember?

Spencer (01:22:10.326)
Now here's the thing, you know, here's there's no church in this world. Now here's the thing, the dragon. Respects same sex marriage, but they don't, so they have to have a straight marriage. So she marries a guy, but then the guy has to get in drag to be killed by the dragon.

Matt (01:22:13.505)
But the dragon's smart when it's convenient. Does the kingdom, is the marriage valid if the kingdom acknowledges it, the church or the dragon acknowledges the marriage?

Luciano (01:22:16.013)
Right.

Luciano (01:22:24.661)
What church? What church?

Spencer (01:22:37.326)
Because they're strictly against gay marriage at the kingdom.

Luciano (01:22:47.997)
I was going to say, that's the only way.

Matt (01:22:50.659)
Hahaha

Spencer (01:22:51.303)
Killing trans people?

Matt (01:22:54.981)
You know what? I've decided that this podcast no longer wants to be anywhere near killing or talking about people who are... Yeah, so...

Luciano (01:23:07.677)
Nobody said anything about trans, it's just crossdressing, there's nothing...

Matt (01:23:12.861)
I think it's just, you know how sometimes you stand near a dragon who breathes napalm and a little bit gets on you and then half your leg is gone and you have to tie it up in a ribbon to make it heal?

Spencer (01:23:13.966)
Hey, what's up?

Luciano (01:23:23.83)
Yeah, in a single ribbon, yes.

Matt (01:23:25.937)
In a single ribbon, just it's not really that bad. It's definitely step away from the fire. That's what we're saying. Yeah. So we're going to step away from that fire. And we're just going to go into reviews. What do we think about this movie? This scale as always is the SDR system. S is the top. F is the Morbius like bottom. We give it a score and say why in a twist of.

Luciano (01:23:28.285)
I see what you're saying is you should step away from the fire is what you're saying. Okay.

Luciano (01:23:39.874)
Ah, I see.

Matt (01:23:55.249)
rules because I can't. I'm gonna go first. And wow, crazy, right? I feel like maybe it should be my own idea instead of copying someone else's answer all the time. So...

Luciano (01:23:57.91)
Ooh, look at that.

Spencer (01:24:06.455)
Is that the cock the egg it's all right bruv

Luciano (01:24:07.33)
Why do you have to self-report that way?

Matt (01:24:10.723)
I don't, but you'll never tell.

Luciano (01:24:13.173)
you'll never, nobody will never know.

Spencer (01:24:15.209)
Alright.

Matt (01:24:15.729)
Yeah, I'm going to give it a D for Dalright. And it's Dalright because good. Dalright. Oi, bruv. It's Dalright. I loved the original story idea. I found the movie itself was weirdly paced. I wasn't.

Luciano (01:24:29.171)
This is why you shouldn't go first.

Spencer (01:24:40.586)
I'm parked in my driveway, I share it and I need to move it. Yeah, because my neighbors are trying to take out their garbage and I'm blocking them.

Matt (01:24:44.725)
having a bad time. But when I think back of watching the movie, I don't know if I ever had a good time. I would definitely not re-watch this movie ever again. And so, yeah, what?

Spencer (01:24:52.67)
No, they, yeah, they don't know what the fuck I'm doing. I'll be right back. Like two minutes.

Matt (01:25:04.43)
Okay, okay, wow.

Matt (01:25:10.281)
Wow, they couldn't wait five minutes, Franco.

Matt (01:25:16.638)
Mm-hmm.

Luciano (01:25:19.865)
You should wait though.

Matt (01:25:24.416)
Mm-hmm. We already stopped me dead on my track, so. That's what the chat's for next time. Maybe he'll use it. Um, no. OK.

Luciano (01:25:36.608)
for a second.

Matt (01:25:38.269)
Yeah, fine.

Luciano (01:26:55.929)
I hate this time of the year because it's not inside I mean because it's not hot enough for them to turn on the AC but it's too hot to not have AC on especially if we cook because then the stove heats up the whole place.

Matt (01:26:58.747)
Why?

Matt (01:27:05.531)
Oh, yeah.

Matt (01:27:13.461)
Yeah, it gets fucked up.

Luciano (01:27:21.477)
And I bought milk earlier and forgot to put it in the fridge. Like an idiot. Yeah. It was three hours off the fridge. We'll see.

Matt (01:27:26.409)
Bye.

Matt (01:27:33.609)
You're just aging it.

Luciano (01:27:37.69)
But you know what they say nothing is better than finely aged milk No, just aged yeah

Matt (01:27:41.998)
Yeah, like you don't want to spoil them, spoil them, but right after that edge, age, age to perfection, as they say.

Matt (01:27:53.481)
leaves us all in for the listeners just a dead stop and us talking about milk I'll do it pure gold

Luciano (01:27:57.394)
Milk? Yeah.

Luciano (01:28:10.041)
Two minutes, huh?

Matt (01:28:12.274)
Oh I know, but I don't know.

Matt (01:28:20.573)
I don't like the fact you can hear that, it hopefully doesn't show up elsewhere on the podcast. The wind.

Luciano (01:28:26.585)
I can't hear anything.

Matt (01:28:29.373)
No, but what just happened? Oh, okay. You said it was the wind.

Luciano (01:28:30.933)
Yeah, I couldn't hear anything outside of, yeah. Or if it was, it was super... What do you mean? No, it wasn't. I didn't hear anything. What are you talking about?

Matt (01:28:38.653)
It was super noisy, that's why you heard it, right?

on the watch you say it was the wind.

Luciano (01:28:47.49)
I didn't say that at all.

Matt (01:28:49.085)
Alright, well this is recorded so I'll go find out you didn't and feel like I'm going crazy.

Luciano (01:28:55.012)
True. Or maybe I did say it and I'm going crazy. Equally possible.

Matt (01:28:55.753)
Cough

Matt (01:28:58.889)
Well, one of us is crazy. One of us is crazy. Or maybe it's one of those things where only I can hear it and you can't, so we're both crazy.

Luciano (01:29:10.115)
Maybe.

Matt (01:29:11.873)
Perfect. Really excited for that.

Matt (01:29:16.881)
Alright, well I need to figure out this title again. Curse of the Stolen Child.

Luciano (01:29:21.445)
Oh, I'm gonna I know already what I'm gonna put on the thing.

Matt (01:29:26.569)
the sky.

Luciano (01:29:27.937)
What do you mean the skygiver? No, you have to tomorrow. Next week you have to introduce it as the curse of Santana.

Matt (01:29:37.498)
And then we can talk about how the curse of Santana would be a better movie than a rebel moon 2. I assume. Yeah, that's fine.

Luciano (01:29:40.813)
Yeah, yeah, that'd be perfect. I, I'm just going to put the description right now. Drag on these nuts. There.

Matt (01:29:55.357)
Um, yeah, that'd be fine. But yeah, I just wanted to know what the title of it was. Do we even, do we pick anything after? I thought there was something else that also came to streaming.

Spencer (01:30:01.494)
Sorry guys, it's pouring outside.

Luciano (01:30:01.534)
No, we didn't.

Luciano (01:30:05.563)
You linked something to do after Rebel Moon, but...

Matt (01:30:08.437)
Did I or was that? I thought I did. Is it in the chat? I like, sorry, what chat is it in the Discord or?

Spencer (01:30:08.618)
It's like a lightning storm too. Yeah.

Luciano (01:30:15.476)
on

Matt (01:30:19.729)
Welcome back Spencer.

No, that's fine. Happens. Oh, yeah, it's gross out for sure. Really? Spencer length monkey man. Was that what you're thinking of?

Spencer (01:30:23.99)
I think it's an action film.

Luciano (01:30:27.22)
Really?

Luciano (01:30:35.205)
Oh, it was its pants? I thought it was you. Okay.

Matt (01:30:38.592)
That's the Dev Patel Jordan Peele horror film.

Luciano (01:30:43.345)
Oh, Jeff Patel? Uh oh.

Matt (01:30:46.525)
Is it? Why do you say oh, he? Yeah, sorry. But yeah, so technically that is because next week we're doing Roman moon so we could do we could do that afterwards.

Luciano (01:30:49.537)
Green night. Hahahaha!

Luciano (01:30:58.882)
Rebel Moon.

Yeah. All right. Let's finish this.

Matt (01:31:02.877)
Anyway, not important, but good to know. Yeah, okay, give me one second here. I'm just gonna mark the time, and I'll try to pick up mid-rant on my thing.

Matt (01:31:15.401)
No, but so the reason like why I give this movie a dollar right is really comes down to It's I appreciate all the news story and the things to try to do But everything else is extremely boring and the CGI most of it is bad And like I enjoyed the I would say the acting was good really Bobby Brown was good, but nothing else really There's no other acting that happened

Luciano (01:31:20.99)
Oh fuck.

Spencer (01:31:34.45)
It always does.

Matt (01:31:43.616)
So everything just kind of lines up into that DAW, right? Level 4.

Luciano (01:31:48.097)
Okay, the joke isn't that good to begin with here, you're wearing it off.

Matt (01:31:53.041)
Well, it'll come back around, I'm sure. Uh, Luciano, why don't you go next? Yeah.

Luciano (01:31:54.867)
Yeah.

Luciano (01:31:59.049)
Me? Okay. So for mostly the same reasons when I went in to watch this, I was like excited and stuff like Spencer said too, like a new story and we hadn't done fantasy in a long time, like pure fantasy like this. But unlike you, I actually didn't like the acting and I don't think, like I said before, I don't think it's the fault of the actors. Just to pick on one scene when Elodie meets Hank.

and she's talking to him, literally every other sentence she changes her expression completely. She goes from mad to happy to sad to pissed off to happy again. And I think it's all in the directing. It wasn't like, it was very wooden to me. And I know Millie Bobby Brown's a good actress and I know Angela Bassett's a good actress. So, and Robin Wright, it was kind of wooden a little bit. Sure. She's not an actress anymore. She is. Whatever, they're all actors, whatever.

Spencer (01:32:39.446)
Like we're all douchebags. Doesn't matter what gender you are.

Matt (01:32:48.632)
They're all actors. You patriarchal monster.

No, they're all actors. They don't use- they don't gender people like that. You fucking monster.

Luciano (01:32:58.965)
All right, fine. They're all great actors. They're all great actors, but like they didn't... Shut the fuck up. I'm giving my review. But the acting here wasn't that good. And in the beginning, I actually... Like the faraway CG was okay, but like there were some other scenes, like as cool as that scene was when the dragon kind of like grapefruits or grapes the guy, it was very weird, the CG there. And...

Matt (01:33:03.538)
Yeah, you bitch.

Spencer (01:33:24.874)
What, you started at a B, went to a C, and then, then you said like, and then it was like positive, and then it went.

Luciano (01:33:28.029)
the dragon being dumb. Like, so a lot of things, like I said, it's like, it started at almost a B for me. And then I thought, oh, maybe this is a C, but then I thought, no, you know why I like this more than I should, it's because it's fantasy and we hadn't done fantasy and it's new. So I think I will land on a doll right as well. It's a D because it's, yeah, I dropped to a D in this conversation, in this conversation.

Spencer (01:33:34.422)
I thought you were going to say you go back to a bee.

Spencer (01:33:48.174)
Fair. Yeah, I mean, let me, before I give my review, did you guys know that the, she was gonna be thrown into a dragon cave? Like was that spoiled for you? Did you know, Matt?

Luciano (01:33:56.021)
So yeah, it's, I don't really regret watching it, but I would not watch it again. And I wish they did a, like they did everybody involved with this, like less dirty.

Matt (01:33:57.342)
All right.

Matt (01:34:10.753)
Spencer?

Spencer (01:34:14.662)
Oh, so you went that long not knowing like kind of if something was what

Luciano (01:34:21.646)
Yeah, the synopsis kind of, the synopsis kind of gives it up. Yeah.

Spencer (01:34:21.974)
Was that cool to you? Were you like, whoa, what a twist.

Matt (01:34:26.397)
No, I didn't know. I figured it out when he picked her up. But before he chucked her, like, I could see, like, there's no reason why this guy has to carry this girl unless he's pitching her.

Spencer (01:34:30.158)
All right, I just don't know if I missed out because I knew I knew that. Because I saw the trailer like a year ago.

Yeah, that's what I was wondering if it was like ssss

Matt (01:34:39.369)
Well, I knew they're gonna do some fucked up shit, but I didn't know they're gonna pitch it on Dragon Hole, per se.

Matt (01:34:48.682)
Cough

It was alright.

Matt (01:34:56.453)
Yeah. It happened so early and it's pretty fucking transparent. Like... Cough.

Spencer (01:34:58.782)
Yeah, yeah, I was wondering because if I would have known that if I didn't know it already, but I'm pretty sure it would have because it seemed pretty obvious. Anyways, I was just curious. Yeah, this movie was like, I agree. It was like, kind of boring with moments of like, of interesting parts. I like the dragon. I like the voice actors of the dragon. Whenever the dragon was talking, I was pretty intrigued.

Luciano (01:35:02.281)
When she sees the little fire coming out of the cave and they go, Oh, it's our ancestor's ceremony. I was like, bro, really?

Matt (01:35:05.754)
Yeah.

Matt (01:35:10.425)
As soon as they got married and they had to go do something right away and then everyone was fucking wearing the white shirt mask, I'm like, there's murder. Something's fucked up. Something's happening here.

Luciano (01:35:19.918)
Hahaha

Spencer (01:35:27.478)
What did I say?

Spencer (01:35:31.146)
So yeah, the voice actor who did the voice of the dragon did a great job. And like whenever she was talking, I was like, I like this. I wish they like. Had more like the chest and know the truth. I was like, what truth? Like, what is she going to reveal? And then the big reveal is that they're not actually the descendants. So I thought there was actually a bigger twist coming. All that to say is.

Luciano (01:35:44.825)
Oh yeah, for sure. Voic- voice actor, Spencer. Voice actress. No, voice actress.

Matt (01:35:49.905)
No, he said voice acting.

Luciano (01:35:58.48)
Hahaha!

Spencer (01:35:59.858)
It's pretty like whatever like the whole plot is like the again. I like the concept because it's an original concept and it is a cool concept, but I don't think it's done well. So because of that, I, I hate to agree with these brubs, but I'm going to give it a D. I'm going to give it a D as well, because it's just yeah, I wouldn't watch it again and I wouldn't really recommend it to anyone. So based on that, I would give it a D. But I didn't not like.

Luciano (01:36:01.816)
Yes.

Matt (01:36:21.283)
Yeah.

Spencer (01:36:28.874)
I didn't hate it.

Spencer (01:36:33.171)
Yeah, I agree.

Luciano (01:36:38.371)
Hahahaha

Matt (01:36:39.559)
All right.

Luciano (01:36:43.093)
It's dokay.

Spencer (01:36:49.482)
Yes, exactly. Like the look was very safe and the vibe was all very by the numbers.

Matt (01:36:52.157)
It's the most encouraging D I've seen. It could have easily not been a D if they didn't, like it's one of those things where like, it's on Netflix and they're willing to take a risk, but they're not willing to risk an interesting story. They're just like, we want the trappings of like, a new story, but we wanna follow the safest possible path on this new story.

Luciano (01:36:54.826)
Yeah, yeah it is.

Spencer (01:37:02.034)
Yeah, like if this movie was like because it was pretty more violent than I was expecting. But I would have loved if this movie was like a full rated R fantasy movie. Like that would have been cool if they really like went deep on the darkness and the and also on like the plot was like more like interesting terms of motives and stuff. Yeah, sorry. Don't wish the story was better. You know?

Luciano (01:37:12.937)
And also we want to have all of this character development. We really don't want to go through it. We're just going to do it in the end and just believe me. Yeah.

Matt (01:37:22.353)
Yeah. It's fine. Yeah.

Spencer (01:37:29.226)
other than like, they killed my baby so I killed their kids. It's like, oh, okay, it's kind of boring.

Spencer (01:37:38.665)
Yeah.

Matt (01:37:45.749)
Better? Oh, sorry. Yeah.

Luciano (01:37:47.3)
Yeah.

Luciano (01:37:51.081)
Yeah.

Spencer (01:37:56.094)
It could have been that King having to figure out how to deal like not get his daughters killed. That's far more interesting. And it would also make it be like he just doesn't want his kids to die. Like there's like it's more like gray. But they're just made it like, oh, she's bad. She just wants to kill them and she thinks they're human garbage.

Luciano (01:37:58.109)
like it's fine as an initial premise right but like as the as the main twist it's like what yeah

Matt (01:38:04.913)
Yeah, it's like those things where it's like, this has been going on for hundreds, like centuries. Why do we need to jump centuries ahead that doesn't change the gravitas? It could have been like fucking three generations later. Anyways.

Luciano (01:38:08.791)
Yeah.

It didn't have to be centuries.

Luciano (01:38:16.447)
Yeah.

Matt (01:38:22.549)
Great, King's a genius also, yeah.

Luciano (01:38:23.436)
Yep.

Spencer (01:38:23.746)
Yeah. And then the only thing that was interesting was that the son that she married was like, kind of was quite regretful of what he did. But then they still just melted him. Yeah, but it's like

Matt (01:38:36.797)
Right, you see him being good, or trying to be good all the way through the movie, and then they get the twist of like, well actually he's the fucking guy who made this problem in the first place.

Spencer (01:38:40.402)
No, but he also was like with the girl with her sister. He was like, we should do this. She's too young. It's almost like they're trying to give him an arc. But I like that the heat she just melted him anyways. That was cool. I don't know. Yeah, I know. That's true.

Luciano (01:38:45.079)
Yeah.

Matt (01:38:55.569)
Ah, give us a big ol' douche noozle.

Spencer (01:38:57.11)
It just seemed to me like they were leaning towards like letting him survive in shame, you know, that like classic trope and they're like, no, just melt them too. I liked, and I liked that. You saw his fight face get like lit by like a big light and him going

Luciano (01:39:01.521)
Ehhh

Matt (01:39:11.553)
One arc. He's a complicit little bitch and he's stated complicit little bitch.

Luciano (01:39:14.453)
Yeah. I mean, look who his dad is. What did you expect?

Spencer (01:39:21.378)
Yeah, for the low price of $19.99.

Matt (01:39:26.277)
Yeah. You didn't see him die, technically.

Luciano (01:39:26.541)
But nope, burn to hell.

Spencer (01:39:35.522)
I don't think we'll be seeing a damsel remake anytime soon.

Matt (01:39:37.993)
Don't worry, he burned up to a little tiny ashes in the L.D., tossed some leeches on it, that's fine.

Matt (01:39:47.889)
Yeah. We've, we've ranked this movie and we're done with it. Please please make another one with a better story and plot.

Spencer (01:39:49.37)
Oooo

Luciano (01:39:55.914)
Yes, please.

Matt (01:40:00.305)
Well, speaking of remakes or sequels no one should be seeing anytime soon, we're doing it. Have you all heard of a little franchise called Rebel Moon?

Luciano (01:40:03.641)
Uh oh.

Spencer (01:40:05.684)
As we've all come to know it.

Luciano (01:40:10.602)
Uh, no. Oh, no.

Spencer (01:40:11.434)
You know what? I don't think I would give a two shits about this movie, but this podcast makes me so damn excited to watch this movie. I just want to say it.

Matt (01:40:12.83)
Cough

IT'S HAPPENING! We are gonna watch Rebel Moon Part 2 of The Scargiver or as I like to call it, The Curse of Santana.

Luciano (01:40:27.265)
That's gonna be the most out of context joke in the history of out of context jokes

Spencer (01:40:30.698)
I'm making the boldest call ever, the boldest pick ever. It's gonna be incredible. It's gonna be like the Empire Strikes Back in terms of sequel quality.

Matt (01:40:32.457)
We're sharing it. You see... Yes, Spencer.

Matt (01:40:42.677)
Well, we need to defend or slay Sax Niter as a director once and for all. The final referendum is upon us, I hope. God, I hope.

Luciano (01:40:44.151)
It's...

Spencer (01:40:45.166)
That's good. Unbelievable, perhaps. Ha ha.

Luciano (01:40:50.386)
Yeah.

Luciano (01:40:53.717)
All right. This is.

Spencer (01:40:58.636)
The world of Pandora. I don't know anything, I can't remember anything either. Yeah, Imperium.

Luciano (01:41:03.367)
It's going to be incredible in some aspect, all right. Like incredibly shit. Yeah.

Matt (01:41:08.061)
Unbelievable, perhaps.

Spencer (01:41:10.861)
Yeah.

Matt (01:41:12.733)
We are returning to... I'm trying to remember anything relevant to Rebel Moon, I can't go over anything.

Spencer (01:41:22.637)
I hope they go into the grain more. I can't wait.

Matt (01:41:25.266)
Sure.

Is this the Imperium, man? Or is that just... This is the Imperium, right? Yeah.

Luciano (01:41:32.777)
Yeah, this is the Warhammer Star Wars knockoff. Yeah.

Matt (01:41:36.561)
Knock off. Yeah, we're returning to the Imperium's brutal attack on a weak planet.

Spencer (01:41:39.094)
I can't wait. Cannot wait.

Luciano (01:41:43.896)
To steal grain. Yeah I hope we get another 45 minutes 45 minutes of Banta farming or whatever.

Spencer (01:41:47.259)
Is it out? Oh.

Matt (01:41:48.041)
Well, like any good Star Wars knockoff. Yeah.

Spencer (01:41:53.74)
You said when it comes out. Right now when it's out. As in right now live.

Matt (01:41:53.961)
Like any good Star Wars knockoff, there should definitely be a slightly to fully racist Trade Federation involved.

Luciano (01:42:00.333)
Oh no. Yeah.

Matt (01:42:03.913)
So we're watching that next week. It is streaming on the Netflix as of now, by the time you hear this podcast. You ruin the majesty of time travel for these people.

Spencer (01:42:08.379)
Uh, of course it is! What date is this coming out on? Uh...

Luciano (01:42:15.641)
Yeah, you ruined it ruined it.

Spencer (01:42:16.726)
That's today! Heheheheh!

Matt (01:42:21.937)
And no one, no one needed you to be. Oh, so now?

Luciano (01:42:22.051)
Hahaha!

Spencer (01:42:23.143)
Uh, yeah, that's what I said!

Luciano (01:42:27.381)
Of course it is! Wait, what? It is, of course! Yeah...

Matt (01:42:29.797)
It is! Technically out now! Uh... The movie is coming out on April 19th. And this... Today is the April 22nd, according to the listeners. Realistically, it's the 17th, but it's the 22nd. It's...

Spencer (01:42:34.37)
Guys, guys, we're time traveling right now. This is exciting.

Spencer (01:42:42.23)
Who's president?

Luciano (01:42:49.045)
I like how you went, the movie is coming out on the 19th and it's already the 22nd, that's why I'm speaking in the future.

Spencer (01:42:49.998)
Alright, see you later.

Matt (01:42:54.305)
Mm-hmm. That's correct. That's how time travel works.

Spencer (01:42:57.566)
Nooo

Spencer (01:43:00.845)
What?

Matt (01:43:00.922)
Yeah, 100%.

Matt (01:43:04.625)
Anyways, on that brilliant note, we're out of here. We can't listen to that guy anymore. Well, we'll see you all next week.

Luciano (01:43:17.429)
Well, I am Michael Cocaine, and I have a deal for you. My name is Michael Cocaine, Crack Cocaine, and I have a Dragon Eats to sell.