Matt (00:00.25)
Hello and welcome to popcorn and plot holes.

Luciano (00:05.759)
This time I saw you looking at the name.

Spencer (00:08.98)
Pop pop pop pop pop corn.

Matt (00:11.93)
And.

Spencer (00:15.198)
Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah holes and

Luciano (00:18.614)
You

Chris (00:20.142)
You don't remember the-

Matt (00:23.162)
That's a new theme music. I hope you like it. Listen, these openings are getting colder and colder as we go. I'm sure it's fine. We should try it sometime. With me, as always, Spencer.

Luciano (00:24.534)
Welcome to Popcorn and Blue!

Spencer (00:25.172)
Good job. Let's use that one.

Spencer (00:33.524)
It's called practice and it doesn't always work sometimes has a reverse effect

Matt (00:46.34)
Chris.

Chris (00:47.598)
You know pop tarts would be really good right now. BEEEYOM I'm not I wish I was I wish I was

Spencer (00:52.404)
Chris- Chris- I-

Matt (00:54.51)
Precise. Fuck. Luciano.

Luciano (00:54.869)
Yeah.

Luciano (00:59.126)
Okay, yeah, I guess. Yeah.

Matt (01:00.866)
Yeah, Luciano's existence is...

Chris (01:01.742)
He doesn't know who he is. He's also high.

Luciano (01:04.918)
It's up for debate, I guess. Yeah.

Matt (01:06.69)
It's up for debate. He's a cat in the box, I think, as we're going to college. We watched Gladiator 2.

Luciano (01:14.858)
Ha ha ha! My Roman! Elect-elec-ha ha ha!

Spencer (01:16.488)
Roman Boogaloo.

Chris (01:18.458)
Roman Boogaloo!

Matt (01:23.0)
The 2024 sequel you didn't know you needed and whose connections to Gladiator are real tenuous. Yeah, positives, always positive. We always start positive. Chris.

Luciano (01:23.062)
All right.

Chris (01:23.086)
My gods have boogied!

Spencer (01:30.962)
You don't.

Chris (01:32.206)
I just didn't.

Luciano (01:35.103)
Yes.

Chris (01:43.674)
I the best part of this movie has to take place in some of the valleys between the bloodshed and I think Dr. Ravi

Spencer (01:58.132)
You

Luciano (01:58.227)
God, we're starting early.

Matt (01:58.765)
motherfucker.

Chris (01:59.79)
Shut the fuck up. Shut up. this is my goddamn time. Dr. Ravi represents a respite from the blood and gore and patches people up and sends them back on our way. Not unlike one Dr. Quinn medicine woman. Do you all realize that that movie was made, that TV show was made in the 90s? I watched some of it with my mom. It was a good time. I didn't like that on again, off again romance with that dude kept coming through. But Ravi, see what I did there?

Luciano (02:17.589)
Yeah.

Matt (02:18.296)
Yes. Great.

Matt (02:24.804)
Hey, Chris?

Not a great job.

Chris (02:29.452)
I yield my time. You thought you had me. You thought you had me. You thought I had you.

Luciano (02:30.59)
You can't you you can't you can't segue yourself with a non-secretary. That's not how segues work No, you can't He yelled he did he did did do that. Yeah

Spencer (02:30.834)
Thank you.

Chris (02:38.24)
You can't, can't me.

Spencer (02:38.366)
Listen, he yelled at his time.

Matt (02:40.97)
yeah, he yelled out his time.

This might be the fastest derailing of a podcast. Please. No, no, no, you're off. Spencer's on.

Luciano (02:50.878)
Yeah, true.

Spencer (02:52.148)
May I rerail?

Chris (02:54.104)
Y'all just flow, get back into flow state. I didn't do anything.

Spencer (02:57.556)
I wanna say it before, I just wanted to speak next, because I wanted to be the one who said Denzel carries this movie. It really makes you feel like, like yeah, characters can, actors can be interesting. know, he's just, he's just, I liked his take on this character. It fun seeing Denzel play someone that didn't seem like a normal Denzel character. And he was clearly being.

Luciano (03:25.3)
That's true.

Spencer (03:27.112)
Very silly. What's that? I like that, like that scene where he's like, ha ha ha, too much. Like under his breath. And I'm just like, I don't know, that's a weird choice, but I loved it. I don't know. So he was my pick. He had a lot of seats. There's so many, as my name under my name, he goes, that's politics. I'm just like, this guy's just clearly having a good time. And I like seeing them, they'll have a good time.

Luciano (03:36.766)
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Luciano (03:52.798)
Yeah, he was.

Spencer (03:57.352)
That, that is my choice.

Matt (03:59.77)
Great choice. Moving on, Luciano.

Luciano (04:02.71)
I actually, I really liked the fight scenes, like specifically Hano, like he's never like super clean and I won this easily. It's always like blood and guts and him getting a little bit his ass kicked before he wins a fight. Even though he wins, if not all, of his fights. I guess he wins all of them, but it's all, I don't know, it felt, it felt like...

Spencer (04:25.118)
Does he?

Luciano (04:27.954)
An actual gladiator fight and not like a pretty choreographed thing. So I really enjoyed it All of his fight scenes actually. Well, mine is the one with the monkey, but we'll get into

Matt (04:40.25)
I don't think it's fair to call them those things monkeys, but we'll get to that. The opening scene where they attack Numuria looked cool as hell. It was a very good balance of using TGI in an interesting way that made it look believable. The ships coming from the sea, them attacking the port town. Well, cool. And I really liked it. And then it kind of, yeah.

Luciano (04:42.535)
No. Yeah.

Luciano (04:50.974)
Yeah, I agree.

Luciano (05:08.79)
Am I am I am I going to be the optimist so you beat one today what's happening?

Chris (05:09.486)
Are you high?

Matt (05:12.055)
Eh.

Spencer (05:16.052)
Well, I was very optimistic.

Matt (05:16.448)
No. Well, let's get into it. It's, it's not, I don't. So let's get into this thing. I, I'm not against this movie. I think in broad strokes, I'm just not sure why this movie needs to be made.

Chris (05:19.15)
There was.

Spencer (05:19.742)
But that's not gonna last.

Luciano (05:19.83)
Alright.

Spencer (05:34.674)
Needs is a big word. Do caring a lot of weight in that sentence.

Luciano (05:36.276)
Yes, I did. It did not need to be made. I don't think.

Matt (05:36.439)
Yeah.

Matt (05:42.074)
I don't know what it's bringing. Okay, so my biggest beef about this movie is that it's not doing anything new or interesting. And like, to the point of like, I could see a lot of the story beats coming 10 miles away. Like the fact that Denzel was gonna clearly get Thrax in a compromising position in terms of bets. Having a lot faster than I expected, but I don't know how money works in Rome.

Spencer (05:58.536)
Definitely.

Spencer (06:07.624)
Hehehehehe

Matt (06:10.594)
And then, you know, that gets Pedro Pascal into the arena to be killed, etc, etc. And nothing was just like, it's like, it wasn't the same story, but it wasn't different enough.

Spencer (06:22.342)
It was very much the same story.

Luciano (06:24.695)
Yeah, like the, until the end when they try to sneak in a civics lesson, it was pretty much the same thing, right?

Spencer (06:30.93)
Yeah.

It was up. was pretty much the same movie up until Denzel takes over. And then it's like a little twist on the same kind of idea.

Chris (06:34.382)
For

Luciano (06:42.228)
Well, well, no, when Denzel takes over, it becomes a fever dream. Like it goes off the rails so fast it never comes back on. my Lord, it goes off the rail with the sharks. when when he when he start the scene when he has both emperors in the room and then Karcalla kind of fucks off and he goes, I'll reason with him. And then he starts saying, he's going to blame you. All that is fine.

Matt (06:50.97)
don't think it goes on there all that fast. Show your work. Show your work.

Spencer (06:55.092)
When did it go off the rails?

Chris (06:57.592)
specifically.

Spencer (07:11.891)
Yeah.

Luciano (07:12.106)
And then he comes back and then like, the guy starts cutting and then he grabs his hand and starts hacking. Cause I like, what is going on here?

Matt (07:14.188)
Okay, yeah I mean...

Spencer (07:19.614)
I thought that was, that was in my opinion the coolest kill of the movie. Cause it looked really like real. It didn't look CGI.

Matt (07:24.207)
Yeah.

Luciano (07:24.662)
True, but it was insane that scene.

Spencer (07:29.832)
I mean, I don't think it was insane, I will say, first of all, going off the rails, this movie, you could have picked the baboons, the hairless baboons. I will say, I mean, there's so many issues with this movie, that part's an issue because it would have made a lot more sense to show him throughout the movie playing them off each other.

Matt (07:30.298)
I don't think it was insane, like...

Luciano (07:39.382)
But that's too early! Or the sharks!

Matt (07:40.054)
Yeah, right away.

Luciano (07:57.802)
Yeah.

Matt (07:57.913)
Yes.

Spencer (07:58.13)
develop that as opposed to him just being like, all of a sudden he's like, I'll just convince you to kill your brother. And it's like, what? They've been like, they seem like totally cool with each other the whole movie too. So it was just completely out of left field.

Luciano (08:00.65)
That's, that's.

Yeah.

and

Yeah. And not just that, like, that's what I kind of how I wrote down on my notes was like, there's like a chunk of the movie missing because Hanna Lucius is really pissed off. Rightly so with his mom. He's like, and the way he says it the first time is really cool. It's like, I don't have any mother that I remember. Which I was like, oh, fuck, that was hard. But then she comes back and she's like, oh, I'm sorry, I had to try and kill Acacia's. I couldn't see the man. So I love you, mom. Like what?

What where did this come from? It was kind of like They ran out of movie time and they had to accelerate stuff and yeah

Matt (08:45.388)
Eh. This isn't the only movie that has like, death of characters to make you rethink your logic on stuff. No, but like... go ahead, Spencer.

Luciano (08:52.24)
No, but that doesn't make it okay.

Spencer (08:54.226)
Well, the I was just saying the biggest thing with this movie is that it's well first of all because you mentioned that the Unneeded sequel I can't think of a movie that needs a sequel less than the first gladiator it's literally like the most like complete like single movie and yeah, it's like literally like Unless the sequel is the one that they apparently wrote about Maximus fighting through hell and coming back as a zombie to fight in every world war

Luciano (09:06.684)
Den Gladiator. Yes.

The ending is so well buttoned up. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Luciano (09:22.607)
God of War Roman edition. Yeah. Yeah.

Spencer (09:24.134)
Yeah, that's the only sequel I'm interested in because it's so bad shit crazy. But in terms of this, this movie is just like a clearly like a cash grab. But the biggest issue and it touches on what you guys are talking about is, my opinion, is the characters. Like the premise is fine and like. I could see it working. I just feel like this movie needed like another couple of rewrites to like. Tighten up. Like set it set up the plot things that happen more, because it just seemed like they were like this is.

Luciano (09:48.5)
Yeah, yes.

Spencer (09:53.288)
He's going to play them off each other and the mother's going to forgive. It just seems like that was like the end point and they didn't plan on getting there.

Luciano (09:59.882)
Yeah, that was an outcome and they were like, fuck it, wing it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Spencer (10:03.55)
We're just gonna fill it with like fight scenes and like

Matt (10:05.654)
Yeah, well, that's it's gladiator. It's not fucking. Roman politics, theater hour.

Chris (10:07.352)
We ran out of budget.

Spencer (10:11.038)
What, you're acting like the first gladiator is not that, like, character development and, like, good writing.

Matt (10:16.684)
No, but it was a much tighter story, right? You didn't have, you know, like an extra character trying to like turn the emperors against each other and like, like was just, Marcus', Maximus' story.

Luciano (10:24.638)
Yeah. That was the only real difference was that there was like a third sort of like power trying to play both sides against each other, which you didn't have in the first movie.

Matt (10:36.1)
And if you want to spend all the time showing me cool fight scenes, which awesome, I had no problem with any of the scenes in the Coliseum, they were cool as hell. You just don't have time to do all this other political intrigue when you have like three or four different people on the field. Like, politicking.

Luciano (10:42.377)
Yeah.

Spencer (10:48.478)
think they could have used their time better than how they used it. I want my fight scenes. I think there was probably too much of like, again, this is almost like a full rewrite. One, I would have had Denzel already close to the emperors at the beginning and not have him have to make bets with random man to get into the route. It was almost like his story, really. The movie was almost like,

Luciano (10:51.178)
Yeah. Yeah.

Matt (10:52.548)
How so? Yeah.

Luciano (11:14.699)
That's it.

Yeah, yeah, it was which

Spencer (11:18.042)
His he was almost the protagonist and the main character was almost like an add-on. felt like so if you're gonna I would do it where he's already with them. So he has like an influence and then and spend more time

Matt (11:29.55)
That would have been fine, honestly, like if they did it that way.

Luciano (11:31.252)
Yeah. And already sort of like playing each one against each other very like subtly, yeah.

Spencer (11:37.96)
Yeah. And then that way you can spend more time like developing the main character. And I would have him like more relationship with, I would have more Pedro Pascal because he was like, really, I like him a lot and he was kind of wasted. Yeah.

Luciano (11:48.798)
Yeah, I was wasted in the movie I find I found yeah

Matt (11:51.77)
There's, but there's not enough time to do that. Like it was two and a half hours. You'd have to cut at least one of the gladiator like the Coliseum scenes in order to get there.

Luciano (11:58.986)
Yeah, cut the fucking monkey one. Cut the monkey and cut the sharks.

Spencer (12:00.852)
Yeah, cut the monkey fight.

Matt (12:04.634)
I don't count that because like I said, call the sea in scenes and that's not the Colosseum so I'm not talking about that one. the shark one was fun. Like I don't know like the sharks but the rest of it was cool. Who cares?

Luciano (12:09.11)
Okay then, cut the shark one. Cut the shark one. It was fun, but it was insane. I do.

Spencer (12:15.506)
Yeah, I would have liked some more like regular glad like every time they're going to the Coliseum like alright I want to see like you know them fighting like like him fighting like the boss of like the you know like He's the greatest gladiator and we're bringing him into you know

Matt (12:29.329)
But you already watched Gladiator 1 and they brought the Rhino guy who was undefeated. I don't know what else. This is the problem with doing a sequel is that natural evolution says the battles have to be cooler and bigger and wilder.

Luciano (12:30.174)
You mean the Rhino guy?

Spencer (12:36.188)
yeah.

Luciano (12:40.66)
Yeah.

Spencer (12:42.12)
Bigger.

I like that the sharks, I remember hearing an interview with Ridley Scott where they were like, what do you say to people that are saying they didn't have sharks in the Coliseum? And he was like, prove to me they don't, fuck you. And I was just like, did not even engage. Yeah, was like, fuck off. I want sharks with freaking laser beams attached to their heads, yeah.

Luciano (12:44.726)
Yeah.

Luciano (13:01.666)
I mean the dude is like 87, he doesn't give a shit.

Chris (13:05.41)
Yeah,

Luciano (13:11.322)
Laser beams. That's what my wife said when my wife was watching me. She's like, are they gonna have freaking laser beams too? Yeah. Yeah.

Matt (13:12.068)
Yeah.

Spencer (13:16.468)
Slicing guys at half Yeah, but yeah, I found the it could have been tighter like I didn't feel like I cared a lot about the people

Matt (13:29.218)
No, because you don't have time to develop any feelings for anybody. They used... The senators? No, nothing.

Chris (13:31.98)
You didn't feel anything for the Senate? Sorry, go ahead.

Luciano (13:35.51)
No, I was.

Chris (13:36.322)
They came back, they brought them again during the coup phase and Derek Covey is back and it's

Luciano (13:39.094)
Yeah, but like, Gracus, Gracus, Mark Jacoby is so fucking old. I love the guy, but he's so like, I was like, he's going to die in the set, like out of just old age. Yeah.

Matt (13:45.315)
Yeah.

Matt (13:50.176)
She's going to have a heart attack talking to.

Spencer (13:52.66)
Yeah, he made it a long way. I was like, was he in the first one? I was like, wow, good for him. He felt old in the first one.

Chris (13:53.046)
I served your father and here I am again.

Luciano (13:55.67)
Like that's... He was.

Matt (14:01.954)
Yeah, great job.

Luciano (14:01.982)
Yeah.

Spencer (14:03.924)
Yeah, I mean, it was frustrating, I would say. It just felt like a fever dream.

Luciano (14:13.973)
I like a lot of the, like, it's funny because we were talking about the things that are like unnecessary, which is most of the movie, if you're honest, but I like, there was such interesting attention to like detail. when, when, uh, Macron is visits Lucille, I think the first time and they're walked by a statue and he stops and looks at it. He's like, who is that? And he says, oh, it's my father as a youth. And then he shows like it's Pedro Mezcal's fucking speeding image.

I was like, that was such a, like it didn't have to be that way, but it was a nice touch. But in the same movie, they have fucking sharks in the coliseum.

Matt (14:48.15)
No, I just agree. This is... this is... This is... No, that's stupid because this is like fucking you have Darth Vader in Star Wars and when he dies at the end of Jedi you see the old ghost of the guy who played Darth Vader and some old white guy and then when we fucking make the freequels all of a sudden it's changed to be fucking Hayden Christensen.

Luciano (15:09.842)
Right, but that's not... but that's fine. At least it's not... didn't... they didn't... didn't... it is! At least they didn't insert some other guy in the first movie to make it work.

Matt (15:14.53)
It's not fine!

Matt (15:21.57)
No, it makes no sense because he would be like, who the fuck is this ghost guy? never seen you in my entire life.

Chris (15:27.534)
But at the same time, why wouldn't MacRamain know who young Marcus Aurelius looked like? He served under him for a time too. when he was old? Well, I thought that was much, okay, hmm.

Spencer (15:27.57)
haha

Luciano (15:38.422)
When he was old, when he was old, he said. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I think Matt's point and I agree with it is like, he's changed so much from when he was young to when he was old that he was almost like another person. I get with.

Matt (15:40.302)
new result. Yeah.

Spencer (15:50.811)
Almost.

Matt (15:51.975)
Almost. And I don't know if you know how like jeans work. Generally you don't look exactly like your grandfather.

Luciano (15:58.324)
Nah, you can. Yeah, it's true.

Spencer (15:58.548)
Tell that to Marty McFly's great grandfather in Back to the Future 3. And his great grandmother also looks like his mom who married into the family. Very confusing.

Matt (16:03.276)
You

Chris (16:03.592)
Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do

Luciano (16:06.742)
But the reason I'm bringing this up, it's because normally nowadays in movies, they would just hammer five, like five different people would be saying it to us like we're idiots. Look, it's his grandson. Like we understand that. having the character realize that with like a small nod to something that makes sense, I just thought it was a good like detail. It's...

Matt (16:09.082)
Don't ask questions.

Spencer (16:30.728)
Here, ready? I'm gonna fix this movie for you in two seconds. Ready? Tighten this script up. Here it is. Really simple. Denzel Washington from the beginning is planning, he's already in with the imperialist. No, he's in tight with the emperors, but he's in charge of the gladiators. And he's like, I'm gonna find a gladiator who's gonna help me overthrow them. He's gonna win over the crowd and we're gonna turn on, that's his plan. And he tells this,

Luciano (16:41.244)
Is Marcus Aurelius? No, okay.

Luciano (16:49.909)
Yeah.

Luciano (16:58.976)
Right.

Spencer (17:00.136)
to Hano. He's like, we're going to throw over this government. I mean, we're going to get revenge on the people that fucked you. And then, and he's like fully in on destroying the government until once he starts to go up, he sees his mom is in the government and he gets mixed feelings. And that's what creates the separation between their plans. And he's like, I don't believe that this guy will be a good leader. And then that creates the tension and then boom, it's all everything's set in place. You don't need all this extra bullshit.

Matt (17:27.482)
That's not a... Yeah, that's not enough fixing. The shark stay, the rhino stays, they're all cool. The monkeys go.

Chris (17:27.554)
But what do you do with the monkeys then? And the sharks and the rhinos?

Luciano (17:29.61)
Yeah.

Spencer (17:34.546)
No, but then you can have, you have so much more time for action.

Luciano (17:38.4)
You could have had the monkeys fight the sharks and the rhino in the Colosseum. Famously present in Rome.

Matt (17:38.712)
Not- but not really.

Spencer (17:42.172)
No, we're going to write in an alligator scene. Obviously.

Matt (17:44.858)
Yeah. No, but like, even if you like, you skip the fucking baboon fighting scene where like, Hano's, you know, captain dies because he doesn't want to, he's not ready to live that life. It wasn't, no, he chose it. He chose his own way out. Cool. Good for him. He went out like the way he wanted to, I guess. beginning by ravenous monkeys.

Luciano (17:51.108)
Hahaha!

Chris (17:56.61)
What about him? That was sad, but anyways, yeah.

Spencer (18:03.986)
He being eaten by monkeys. He died the way he lived.

Luciano (18:06.878)
he said it, right? He was like, I'm done. And Hennel was like, come on, bro. was like, no, I'm done. And he's like, OK, monkeys, deal.

Chris (18:09.058)
UGH!

Matt (18:12.73)
First of all, he definitely a thousand percent died on the ship to Rome with that fucking open-ass arm wound.

Luciano (18:24.862)
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that was the weakest ass tourniquet fucking I've ever seen like he didn't clean it. He didn't set it. He just put two pieces of wood and tied it. That was it. That was it.

Spencer (18:25.561)
Yeah, yeah

Matt (18:30.852)
Dead.

Spencer (18:36.564)
Yeah, he's like he's like

Chris (18:40.126)
I this on Martha Stewart once, Captain. I got you. I got you.

Luciano (18:42.28)
Yeah, exactly.

Spencer (18:42.644)
He's like, I'm not gonna make you like, don't be silly. You're acting crazy.

Luciano (18:47.478)
Yeah, absolutely died of infection in that trip. it was the the the captain the king or whatever who died in the arena was a ghost a hundred percent

Matt (18:58.842)
Sure. Anyways, so like, Spencer, I don't mind it, but I just think that like, there's too much going on in this movie. Even if you advance the friendship with the emperors, there's still the fucking Pedro Pascal, like, whole thing that probably needs to be chopped, because I love Pedro Pascal, but that's just too, like, no, him existing, period, being a character. Like, send a random ass general to fucking kill Hano's wife and whatever, that's fine.

Luciano (19:15.392)
Like the coup you mean?

Luciano (19:20.66)
Spencer (19:24.684)
or develop that better because I know not develop that the opening scene. Imagine the opening scene instead of fucking Pedro Pascal just randomly mean like arrow to kill her like in the most least personal least dramatic way possible. He like it's like the opening to Braveheart. You know the opening for Braveheart where the where they they take over the town and they kill his wife and it's like it's horribly devastating.

Luciano (19:27.766)
But then the movie would be 4 hours.

Matt (19:47.215)
Yeah.

Chris (19:47.694)
been a while.

Spencer (19:53.064)
She'd been like that where it's like he like seems like he's horrible, but that's just his job, you know, and it's like he had to make. No, but they were just like.

Luciano (19:54.562)
I mean...

Matt (19:59.342)
They did that in the movie. That's the whole... Just... Yeah.

Luciano (20:00.756)
Yeah, but it and also they did that in the first Lady a gladiator, too

Spencer (20:04.86)
No, but the first gladiator, they were evil. In this, he's just like a general. His job is to take her to town. She attacks him.

Matt (20:10.806)
No, Maximus was a general, he was not evil.

Luciano (20:11.978)
That's what happened.

No, but the people that killed his wife were...

Spencer (20:15.304)
No, exactly.

Matt (20:17.402)
Yes, yeah 100 %

Spencer (20:18.834)
No, I know, but I'm saying if it was like a dramatic, really personal, he kills his wife right in front of him, he cuts her head off in front of her.

Chris (20:26.766)
Like, I've got her and I'm gonna make you watch and then kill.

Matt (20:26.872)
Yeah, but then you... But then he's... He is... He is not redeemable. You cannot do that and redeem him.

Luciano (20:32.892)
No, no, no, no. I agree with Spencer. he, if he... No, you don't have to chop her head off. You can just like stab her in the chest. There.

Spencer (20:34.109)
You can be redeemable.

Matt (20:35.738)
Not if you chop off that guy's wife's head in front of him.

Spencer (20:39.101)
I think so.

Matt (20:41.326)
I still don't think it's redeemable. It's just not worth your time. Like, just, there's too many moving parts in this movie. Because you have to...

Spencer (20:46.056)
Nah, thought that was too like quick and like, toot, shoot, dead fast.

Luciano (20:48.694)
It was, to me, the way it happened was ridiculous because there's like 5,000 archers shooting and then one shoots a guard behind him and he goes, shoot, kill her, just her, kill her. Yeah, he says it, kill her, like it's ridiculous.

Spencer (21:00.532)
And... KILL HER!

Matt (21:03.46)
Sure, and that's fine. But that was like, that's the fastest thing that happens in a movie and we still don't have enough time for everything else that happens after it. My point is like, you can just get her killed in the fight. It doesn't have to be anybody special. No one has to point at her and say kill her. He just dies. Fucking General Atticus doesn't exist. He's not a character.

Luciano (21:08.65)
Yeah.

Luciano (21:19.932)
Atticus, Atticus doesn't exist really. He really doesn't. Atticus doesn't exist at all. General Pascal, basically. But you know, something else that could have been cut, which wasn't that big of a deal, but he mentions it as well. Just cut all of that stupid bullshit black and white underworld scenes like all of them makes no difference. no, that now Chris is going to be mad.

Spencer (21:23.924)
He never did

Matt (21:28.634)
General Thunderbolt Ross, whatever the fuck this guy's name is. Yeah.

Spencer (21:43.326)
and cut Ravi.

Chris (21:43.746)
Hmm.

Matt (21:43.748)
Yep.

Spencer (21:46.92)
cut Ravi we don't need him he had like 10 scenes of like tell me what are you going to do when you get out of here what brings you here no we don't need Ravi in their love story

Chris (21:58.134)
You know why we need Ravi Spencer is because the third review is gonna be about Dr. Ravi, Medicine Woman, healing the world, okay? On tour!

Spencer (22:04.788)
Hmm

Luciano (22:06.366)
Well, I mean, we needed Ravi to have someone who was free to be able to ride and meet the army outside of an Austria, but you

Matt (22:07.908)
First of all,

Chris (22:14.754)
because he wants to start his side hustle as an agriculturist because going from the first movie to the second movie we gotta bring the whole slow-mo grain back do y'all remember the grain the grain the slow motion the tickle tickle

Spencer (22:26.62)
Need this movie.

Matt (22:31.172)
Chris, the problem, I like everything you're saying about Dr. Ravi, but it's gotta be called Gladiator 3, and it's gotta be basically the same story as Gladiator 1 and Gladiator 2.

Chris (22:37.507)
Yeah.

Spencer (22:41.48)
He does have a wife and kid.

Chris (22:41.582)
Yes, but the title has to be more enticing to bring people to put butts in the seats gladiator feet three field of gold Y'all don't want Robbie. So I'm trying to work with it

Matt (22:47.29)
No, no.

Luciano (22:49.416)
Madison woman Madison woman

Matt (22:50.69)
You cannot, no no, gladiator two did not have a colon and then other words. It's just gladiator three and I guess they put another third I in the middle of the word gladiator.

Luciano (22:55.88)
A colon, yeah.

Spencer (23:01.384)
Clad EEEater.

Luciano (23:02.326)
Yeah, yeah.

Chris (23:04.11)
Mmmmm

Matt (23:06.658)
I digress. I have other questions about this movie that aren't related to us arguing about how bad and how boring and long this movie is or not boring and long but how much time I wasted. And I think one of the things that is along the themes of this time wasting. Why did Macaroni have to fight Hano one on one combat at the end of the movie? Because like Hano is we actually age like I think they age him to be 28. They actually like give us the exact age of him.

Chris (23:06.946)
Fake education.

Luciano (23:26.366)
Yeah,

Luciano (23:34.432)
Yeah.

Matt (23:36.058)
And Macrodus is like 60 for 55 for being a real kind. Which is like a thousand years old.

Luciano (23:37.75)
Macaroni is like a thousand years old, yeah. Yeah.

Spencer (23:43.038)
He's a Roman 45. You know? Which is a modern day 90.

Luciano (23:46.166)
Yeah, yeah. I was like, when when Hanno rams him with the horse and they fall over, I'm like, OK, he's done. Like, no, he almost he almost wins. He almost if it wasn't for the magical fucking mythril armor, which we're going to talk about later, he would have been he would have died a million times.

Chris (23:49.686)
It's a lot of oil, my bruh. All that oil to preserve.

Matt (23:58.318)
He broke a hip, for sure.

Spencer (23:59.028)
There goes his hips.

Matt (24:01.913)
Yeah.

Matt (24:06.392)
Yeah.

Spencer (24:09.108)
And I was thinking in that scene, was he the one who won his freedom? And then I was like, no, that was Ravi.

Luciano (24:17.904)
Yes. Yeah.

Spencer (24:19.27)
right? Like they never said he was a fighter of any kind, they?

Matt (24:20.089)
Yes.

Luciano (24:24.637)
No.

Matt (24:24.846)
He was in the army, was in Maximus's army. said he fought along Marcus Aurelius, he fought alongside him. He didn't say army, he didn't say gladiator, he just said he fought along Marcus Aurelius, which implies he was part of the army.

Chris (24:25.006)
You got it.

Luciano (24:28.374)
Maximus? Marcus Aurelius?

Chris (24:29.58)
Marcus, or really, this?

Spencer (24:30.354)
Marcus Aurelius

Luciano (24:37.716)
Right.

Spencer (24:39.89)
He should have fought along Maximus. That would have made sense. They've been like close to the same age.

Luciano (24:43.21)
But either way, yeah, yeah, yeah. But it doesn't, I agree, the whole scene at the end, starting with like they're running over, like there's like run away, there's the army coming and then he sends fucking the hound, you know, to intercept. And then everything goes like haywire, like Hano just grabs a horse, rides by the army that's supposed to be stopping him.

Matt (24:44.942)
But that just tells you how old he fucking is. He fought with his grandfather.

Spencer (24:47.06)
He might- yeah, that's true.

Luciano (25:12.118)
And it was like, hey, where are you going? Oh, you're there. OK, let's fight. everybody, both generals go, hold, let him cook. What the fuck is happening?

Spencer (25:20.628)
And he's like I'm the heir to the throne and they're like checks out I guess so Yeah, exactly I was just like wait, how are they gonna prove prove that in that? Hey, you just look like his grandfather when he was 28

Luciano (25:24.758)
okay. Yeah. I saw that statue too.

Chris (25:25.816)
Huh?

Matt (25:26.862)
That makes sense.

Chris (25:32.13)
He said it! You heard him!

Matt (25:34.426)
He looks just like his grandpa. It's gotta be him.

Luciano (25:36.98)
Yeah, yeah.

You

Chris (25:41.198)
So hot right now. Lucius.

Luciano (25:43.498)
Yeah, it doesn't make any sense.

Spencer (25:43.61)
I was just like, like if I was, thought that, what's his name? I thought that Macronus was coming to be like, he's a liar. You know, I am the high council. My army attack. Sorry, Donis said we should, Donis the Monkey strictly ordered an attack right now. And then let them fight and hope that his army wins.

Luciano (25:54.782)
Yeah, that would have made more sense. Yeah, second, second, the second console.

Matt (26:02.35)
Yeah.

Luciano (26:04.285)
Hahaha!

Luciano (26:12.958)
Yeah, that would have been my.

Spencer (26:13.586)
I'll tell you what wouldn't have been my strategy fight the undefeated gladiator one-on-one When I'm 70 years old and just fell off a horse

Luciano (26:18.782)
Yeah.

Chris (26:23.522)
The only reason that should have gone down is if Micro Machines challenged Hano and then had his assistants just go, pump him full of baboon darts. And it's like.

Luciano (26:31.614)
Yeah. Yeah.

Matt (26:35.79)
Just to be clear, is Denzel getting the baboon darts?

Luciano (26:38.87)
Of course, of course. No, of course. Yeah, made him like, him, gave him ride rage.

Chris (26:39.638)
No, no, no, no, no, no. Well, that would, it depends on, cause it would amp him up, wouldn't it?

Spencer (26:41.3)
That's racist.

Matt (26:43.438)
That's, that's what it looks like.

Chris (26:46.092)
You're right, and it's February, so I'm gonna have to plus one that. Shame on your house! Shame on your house! But I was hoping for... Don't you turn this around on me, fake news! Muscle velocity! Anyways, I think blow darts are an underused tactic in the field.

Matt (26:54.01)
You're the one who brought it up, don't shame me.

Luciano (26:55.774)
Yeah, you were.

Luciano (27:06.484)
Yeah, they should have done they should have done to macaroni what they did to acacias and turn him into a pin cushion full of like arrows. That scene was cool too.

Spencer (27:15.048)
I mean, even in the, but even in the first movie, they were like, even in the first gladiator, they're like, we can't have the emperor fighting Maximus like straight up. It's stupid. He's undefeated gladiator champion. So, so emperor stabs him fatally like before they fight and still loses. like they should have, I mean, I guess if they did something along those lines, people would been like, well, that's exactly the same, but something to even the odds.

Chris (27:15.158)
And don't just dub him up. Performance and hit, P.E.D.

Luciano (27:23.542)
I'm gonna go stabby stabby. Yeah Yeah

Matt (27:28.708)
Yeah.

Luciano (27:31.254)
Still loses. Yeah.

Luciano (27:39.619)
Didn't stop them. Yeah

Matt (27:41.496)
You gotta stop... Like, it's just, just one these things... Hollywood, this is all the time, it's like... You know, Spencer, we watched Indiana Jones and the theater together, and like, the one thing they did with the last Indiana Jones movie was like, Harrison Ford didn't really fight anybody anymore. No, but like... But that's the thing, he's old, and he can't do it, and so his character... His character didn't try, and I assume when he's the Red Hulk...

Luciano (27:56.042)
Well, I wonder why, his arms will fall off.

Spencer (27:56.146)
Yes.

Luciano (28:01.556)
Yeah. Yeah.

Spencer (28:02.004)
Uhhhh

Luciano (28:07.872)
Ha ha ha!

Matt (28:10.378)
He's CGI'd and it's fine. But like...

Luciano (28:11.734)
Yeah, no, I want, yeah, I want him to turn into Red Hulk and go, ah, kid, I'm telling for this. I'm so angry. Let me sit down a little bit. I need a little bit of time. on.

Spencer (28:12.468)
I gotta be the Red Hulk!

Spencer (28:23.09)
You're making me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm tired.

Matt (28:28.077)
and angry.

Matt (28:32.538)
But my point is...

Chris (28:32.718)
Does anybody have any Manimuso?

Matt (28:35.916)
Is that movie new well enough to not make the old guy try to fight young people because it wouldn't fucking make sense. I love Danzell, but that's the dumbest thing his character did. His character got progressively, like he was supposed to be smart and like he got progressively dumber throughout the movie. Like some of it's desperation and I get it, but some of it's just like, no my guy.

Luciano (28:39.317)
Yeah.

Yeah. No.

Luciano (28:49.718)
It got progressively dumber, yeah.

Luciano (28:57.918)
Yeah, like it's almost like he had this plan and the plan was coming to fruition and he was like so excited that it was coming to fruition that he like lost his bearings. He's just, I'm going to go fight this guy that is like 30 years younger than me and also.

Spencer (29:10.846)
He's like one of those, he's one of those guys that suffers from success, like he won't self-sabotage himself whenever he gets too close to his goal because he feels like deep down he doesn't really deserve it. It's like...

Luciano (29:17.578)
Yeah.

He's not, he doesn't deserve it, yeah.

Matt (29:22.968)
That's macaroni in a nutshell.

Spencer (29:25.276)
I mean if they developed that as a character trait, it would have made that ending really interesting.

Luciano (29:29.75)
Yeah, also something I wanted to say just a propose nothing but every time you bring up we brought up the the bat like the The fact that he bat stuff with the senator and lost his fucking house the first time I don't know if you guys Predict this I laughed my ass off when he goes i'm gonna bet 2000 denarii and the the senator goes, uh-huh and he goes denarii And he goes again denarii

Chris (29:52.269)
Yeah

Luciano (29:54.806)
Like he likes the word so much that keeps saying and the senator is like, what's happening?

Spencer (29:55.156)
Den-

Luciano (30:03.936)
Denari. Yeah.

Matt (30:06.5)
I have one other question, hopefully we can do this quickly, if we have the rest of the show to cover. it just stuck in my craw. Why is Lucius Maximus' kid?

Luciano (30:19.816)
Yeah, it's a bit of a rat con, a bit of an old rat con there.

Chris (30:21.806)
You see when a man and a woman get wrecked.

Luciano (30:27.638)
When a man and a woman cheat on the other guy's wife.

Spencer (30:28.2)
i have a big problem with that to be honest

Spencer (30:33.618)
I like when it when two movie producers love each other love love money very much that they that they need to make the character closer to the most loved character of the last film. They make them related when there's no right for them to be so. And it really annoys me because in the first movie it was it makes so much more sense for him as a character that like he lost his son and then he's like so

Luciano (30:36.534)
Love money so much.

Matt (30:38.245)
Very much.

Luciano (30:47.07)
Yeah, I think that's the answer.

Spencer (31:02.814)
cut off from the world and this other kid reminds him of this and kind of cuts through that and then the kid

Luciano (31:05.94)
Yeah, yeah. And he bonds with the kid regardless of it being his son or not. Yeah, yeah.

Matt (31:08.526)
Yes.

Spencer (31:11.7)
even though the kid is like the related to the guy he hates and the kid looks up to him not because of his royal blood but because he is a better man you know yeah

Matt (31:16.43)
Yes. Yeah, exactly.

Luciano (31:16.596)
Yeah.

Matt (31:23.534)
He says it, he was kind. In other words, yeah.

Luciano (31:25.493)
Yeah, he says he says he's just right he says I met him once he was kind

Spencer (31:30.13)
Yeah, he like any represents like a real like a good father figure, which he doesn't have. So they connect in that way, making them blood like it just like, no, they just like each other because they were related. They were that was father and son. It was destined. And it's just like, my fucking.

Luciano (31:35.135)
Yeah.

Luciano (31:43.092)
Yeah, it is lame. I agree.

Chris (31:43.438)
Obviously.

Matt (31:47.386)
Then also, everything to do with Maximus's dead wife and kid, I'm just like, what does he care? He fucks some other lady, like...

Spencer (31:52.404)
Yeah, he was, he he had another kid in family.

Luciano (31:53.042)
Yeah. Yeah. And that's, that's like the, not the worst, but one of the bad, really bad decision making there was in the first movie, they say without any sort of like, it's not a subterfuge or, or, like a little bit of a hint. say Lucilla and Maximus were a thing when he was younger and he was single and all of that stuff. Just make Lucius a little older.

Matt (31:55.659)
Yeah.

Matt (32:14.852)
Sure. Yeah.

Luciano (32:20.616)
And that then fine. He had the thing with Lucilla before he got married and he doesn't have to silly his reputation as like a good man and all that stuff.

Spencer (32:27.646)
Well, I think they did retcon that in this movie because I think in that movie they said he was eight. I think in this movie he was like 12. So they they. Yeah, they tried to change it. It's not and it undoes what they say in the first movie. But.

Chris (32:30.862)
I don't think that's enough.

Matt (32:30.98)
Yeah, that's why they're given the ages of things. Yeah. And now he's 12. Yeah.

Luciano (32:37.44)
did they say that?

Matt (32:38.554)
Yeah.

Chris (32:40.408)
I don't think it's enough though, guys.

Matt (32:42.927)
God no.

Luciano (32:43.132)
It's okay. I mean, it wasn't necessary. Yeah, it wasn't necessary.

Matt (32:45.966)
The point is, like, the point is is that they were clearly forcing something they shouldn't have, right? And it just... Excuse me. It's, well, it's definitely unnecessary because you're really shitting on your first movie for something that is not needed whatsoever in this movie.

Spencer (33:02.706)
Yeah, Maximus isn't the reason why he has royal blood. It doesn't fucking matter, like he was just some gladiator.

Luciano (33:05.766)
Exactly. didn't need to be. could. It was just Lucilla and he like Maximus was the guy he looked up to because of who he was not because he was his dad. Yeah.

Matt (33:07.726)
Yeah.

Spencer (33:17.074)
And weirdly in this movie nobody really even remembers Maximus even though he killed the Emperor in front of the world.

Matt (33:22.626)
One guy mentions it once. Yeah.

Luciano (33:22.966)
Only Ravi only Ravi mentions him in 20 SL whose whose name is scratched out there Oh this other guy nobody knows who nobody knows who he is

Spencer (33:25.172)
You think I'll

Chris (33:31.86)
That's what happens when you properly administer ginkgo biloba. Ravi remembers everything. It's great for memory. I'm not making it... You brought them up and I connected the dots. Furthermore, I don't think it's enough. If they wanted to go down the road of making them related, they should have provided more details, similar to when Lucilla exiles away her son.

Luciano (33:40.427)
Stop, stop, stop, stop trying to make it happen.

Spencer (33:43.314)
I have no idea what you're talking about.

Luciano (33:46.389)
Ha ha!

Luciano (33:58.942)
Right, yeah.

Chris (33:59.522)
You need to give us something, you need to give us more as opposed to just throwing math at us and saying he's of the age. That didn't really go.

Luciano (34:08.34)
Yeah.

Spencer (34:09.618)
Yeah, and it almost seemed like... Lucius knew he was his father?

Luciano (34:16.31)
it was a reveal it was a reveal

Spencer (34:16.818)
Was that like a reveal?

Matt (34:17.088)
I have no idea. Was he ever told he was his father?

Chris (34:19.424)
I didn't, I don't, you could be right, I don't know.

Spencer (34:22.142)
So, well not in the first movie, he was sent away right after that movie, In the movie, she was like, she was like, he was your father, you were the last words. And then he's like, shut up! Or something, he's like, like. But it would have been made sense to be like, if it was, if you're gonna go down that road, be like, we never spoke of it. You know, he didn't know. But.

Luciano (34:25.046)
Yeah, no, yeah, Lucila tells him.

Matt (34:26.476)
No, no, but was the ever told in the second one, this one?

All right. Oh, yeah, that's right.

Matt (34:37.434)
Yeah.

Chris (34:39.31)
Let's get it!

Luciano (34:48.692)
Yeah.

Spencer (34:51.828)
We were together before he left to start a family.

Matt (34:55.01)
It doesn't, there's nothing they could have done, there's nothing they could have done to make it work and make sense. Yes, there's no reason to. He met him, he saw him, it's fine. He looked up to him, he talked to him in the first movie. He inspires him in the second movie, Connection made.

Chris (34:56.878)
Because Comedis wasn't doing it for me! Anyways.

Spencer (35:00.432)
No, they should have just not done it. There's no reason.

Luciano (35:02.613)
Yeah.

Luciano (35:10.633)
Yeah

done. That's that actually I think it makes it would have made it better. Because it's like you don't need to be all he's my dad and of course I'm going to follow it. No, this is another man. Exactly. This is another man whose ideals I agree with and I'm going to follow his footsteps because of what he says and what he does not because of whose blood is shares. Yeah.

Spencer (35:13.982)
Yeah.

Spencer (35:17.524)
It makes it better. It totally makes it better.

Spencer (35:23.336)
He inspired him.

Matt (35:32.748)
It would strengthen, it would strengthen the story from the first movie instead of shitting on the story from the first movie.

Spencer (35:38.27)
And it make it more meaningful, sorry, when he wears his armor too. Cause then it's a choice. It's not like that's my dad's armor. It's like, no, I'm wearing his armor because I want to represent what he represented, you know? And it would be better if people were like, that's Maximus's armor. And like, it meant something to the people too, which for some reason, which is the most easiest nostalgia bait to go down that road. And they didn't do that, which was a weird thing. They just don't even really talk about Maximus.

Chris (35:38.702)
But this is what hap- mmhmm go ahead.

Luciano (35:42.741)
Yeah.

Matt (35:42.894)
Yes.

Luciano (35:50.216)
Yeah, yeah. But.

Matt (35:54.67)
Okay.

Luciano (36:02.166)
Yeah.

Chris (36:06.488)
Wasn't Maximus supposed to be like the hero of Rome at one point in and then they could have done that callback Also connecting the dots that you guys just put up

Luciano (36:09.129)
Yeah!

Luciano (36:14.282)
But it feels like Maximus did all that stuff, killed Commodus, right? He was a fucking Commodus Commodore Commodore and and then he's like, great. He got rid of this fucking monster. Whatever. Now there are two other idiots being emperors. Yeah. And nobody gives a shit about Maximus anymore except for Lucilla.

Chris (36:20.162)
Komodas! Kom... Yeah, it's fine. No, you're right. I just like the way you say it.

Chris (36:35.544)
And there's two more.

Spencer (36:36.016)
Here come the twins!

Spencer (36:43.528)
But they have a monkey.

Chris (36:43.564)
and Derek Jacobi.

Matt (36:45.528)
Well, let's start with this monkey.

Luciano (36:46.275)
Derek Jacobi. Yeah.

Matt (36:49.082)
Let's not, no, let's talk about the monkey. Let's stay focused here. We're gonna move into our second section questions, because I think this is the perfect time to talk about the first High Council Dondas.

Spencer (36:51.347)
Yes.

Luciano (36:55.402)
Okay.

Spencer (36:59.258)
All hail First Council, Dondas.

Luciano (36:59.798)
All hail first high council!

Matt (37:01.15)
hell.

Chris (37:03.438)
Mmm.

Matt (37:03.768)
Why was he the real hero of this movie?

Luciano (37:04.372)
First of his name.

Spencer (37:06.644)
The real hero or the real villain?

Luciano (37:09.192)
Well, I think the first of his first heroic act is putting up with that fucking guy who, by the way, plays Chameleon in Craven. is just as bad an actor here as he was there. Yeah, but I did. Yeah, that's his heroic.

Matt (37:09.582)
Hi- Hiro?

Matt (37:19.898)
You didn't have to mention that. No one needed to know. Hey man, don't take away the shine off Dondas to talk about some shitty actor playing a shitty actor character in two movies. We're focused on why Dondas is the hero. And first off, that's not, no, come on, you're thinking small fries.

Chris (37:22.946)
But it's points, it's extra points. Extra points.

Luciano (37:31.19)
Fair, fair.

is the hero so he puts up he puts up with carcala caracala

Spencer (37:41.042)
No, no, no, he's the hero because he is the one. You think that Macronus was planning this? This was Donnus' plan from the beginning.

Luciano (37:43.562)
Okay.

Matt (37:47.652)
Yes. Spencer's on it. Why do think they were so friendly when when Macron is came by and Don has just jumped on him and ran away like they're they're they're tight. Yes.

Spencer (37:56.34)
Yeah, exactly. And why do you think that he made him the first council above that was the plan? There was laughing. Oh, the monkey and then and then Denzel Washington was like all held on to us. And then they're like, oh, held on to us. Yeah, yeah.

Luciano (37:56.982)
They were planning this from the beginning.

Matt (38:07.162)
plausible.

right? That's... It seems way like it makes way more sense to let the second guy run the show than the monkey.

Spencer (38:16.882)
And who?

Luciano (38:17.29)
Yeah, the, no, not just that. It's like the first console was like the visible figure, right? Like the figure head. And he could pull out the attention while Macros was doing the actual work.

Chris (38:17.4)
Done.

Spencer (38:29.436)
No, no, no, you got it all wrong.

Matt (38:30.048)
Yes, but you never see him again, so he's not that visible.

Spencer (38:34.12)
Dondas Dondas is the brains who out of the four in charge There's the two kings then Dondas two emperors then Dondas the macron who of the four survived only Dondas There was Yeah, exactly Cue usual suspects Dondas walking with a limp down the road

Chris (38:34.146)
There's a reason for that.

Luciano (38:34.464)
Hahaha!

Luciano (38:45.814)
True, only Dundas. That was the plan out of long run. The plan was for Macronus to die so we have All Hail Emperor Dundas. First of his name.

Matt (38:58.05)
Right, just straightening out.

Luciano (38:59.198)
What? Wait, did you did you verbal kint him just now?

Spencer (39:02.484)
Yeah, I did I Kaiser so say them I got her so hit the shit out of Donnis The greatest trick the monkey ever bold was convincing the emperors. didn't exist

Matt (39:05.114)
Yeah, I think we've answered that question pretty succinctly.

Luciano (39:15.786)
Yeah, that's why he was Kaiser Solstice. That's why he was the hero. Move on.

Spencer (39:18.482)
Yeah, and he's a hero because he's actually the best ruler Rome ever had. They don't show that.

Matt (39:19.321)
Well...

Luciano (39:21.814)
That is that is probably true

Chris (39:22.392)
But it also makes sense.

Matt (39:25.368)
Yeah, cause he takes over like he as the advisor to Lucian or Lucius.

Spencer (39:30.866)
No, no, Lucius, you think Lucius takes over, they walk in and they're like, I'm the heir and then Don just is like, cause he can talk, he says, prove it. He says, prove it. Like what? Do the blood test, go pee in this cup. at the fuck you gonna talk about? I was named, I was named in front of the Senate as the high chancellor. So go fuck yourself. And then, and then he creates Medicare for everyone cause he's a good leader.

Luciano (39:37.11)
It was like, so what, so what, now you go so what.

Chris (39:39.47)
Correct.

Luciano (39:44.054)
I wanna see the DNA test. I wanna see the DNA test.

Chris (39:50.786)
Mm-hmm.

Luciano (39:52.723)
You

Matt (39:55.226)
You

Luciano (39:56.566)
He creates the first aqueduct.

Spencer (39:59.476)
It's aqueducts and healthcare. is First 2 Ags.

Luciano (40:01.802)
Yeah.

Matt (40:03.268)
But he does keep the crazy monkeys around, just in case.

Spencer (40:06.577)
Well...

Luciano (40:06.792)
Of course, of course. Bread and circus. This is Rome still.

Chris (40:07.958)
You gotta think about your community and lift them up, right?

Spencer (40:13.118)
Well the baboons, yeah they get upgraded to Colosseum gladiators. The Praetorian guards.

Matt (40:17.517)
The Praetorians. Yeah. Okay, moving on. Thrax has a gambling problem, clearly. As evidenced by him. Huh?

Luciano (40:20.658)
Yeah, that's the Praetorian Guard. Perfect.

Chris (40:28.014)
Hmm.

Luciano (40:28.106)
Denari Denari Denari

Spencer (40:31.976)
He likes dinner.

Matt (40:32.368)
thank you. He likes Denarion. Thrax gambles and he clearly has no money or I don't maybe I don't know how money works in Rome, but that's not important here. I want to know besides gambling on Coliseum and gladiators, what else is he into? Because his money is all gone, right?

Luciano (40:51.382)
Magic the Gathering cards for sure. For sure has a collection in that house that he lost when Macronus takes over.

Matt (40:54.106)
Okay.

Chris (41:00.916)
The previous currency before Denari was Pogarium. And so... Pogarium. Pogs. And... That's right. And so...

Luciano (41:09.088)
Okay, go on, go on.

Matt (41:11.158)
Okay.

Spencer (41:11.678)
They come in pog form.

Matt (41:13.954)
I'm- I'm- Listen, I wanna- I wanna be a yes and person, but why does he have those? What is he gambling with those on?

Spencer (41:21.108)
He's gambling Pogarium on Pogs.

Chris (41:21.71)
Don't you know what they...

Spencer (41:27.238)
Obviously.

Spencer (41:32.04)
and shark bites. Go on.

Chris (41:34.606)
Yes, because you need... Yes, because... And I agree with that. Pugarium predates Denarii. And before Pugarium... Yeah, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I... It's fine.

Spencer (41:46.932)
I know where I just let them continuously dig further

Luciano (41:47.286)
You

Let him keep on digging.

Luciano (42:03.093)
Hahaha!

Chris (42:07.598)
Yeah. Pogariums dipped and basted.

Spencer (42:10.772)
No, no, no, don't do it.

Matt (42:12.46)
No, no, you stopped. You gave up. You're out. Done.

Luciano (42:12.65)
Why did you do this?

Spencer (42:15.08)
You had your chance.

Chris (42:15.854)
Not yet.

Spencer (42:18.596)
well i'd i actually was thinking that too because equally as a gambling because at first you think that he's just gambling like casually so i go to the other than are you did i read in our and then you're going to let's find a basic i'm down to the ten thousand denarii i'd you know all my house and i'm like so the first that was twenty percent of the dire word and he can't catch is like okay and it's like he's a double another using

Matt (42:30.276)
Yeah. Yeah.

Luciano (42:43.379)
Yeah.

Matt (42:45.944)
Okay

Luciano (42:47.296)
He-he-heh!

Spencer (42:47.74)
Yeah, yeah, let's do double nothing. Now he's in the hole. Literally 40 % of everything he owns.

Luciano (42:53.247)
Amy

Matt (42:53.402)
Immediately at double or nothing. He's are like 2000. He's already like I don't have the money right

Spencer (42:57.97)
Yeah,

Luciano (42:58.088)
Yeah, and it's and you can see in his face every time every time that macaroni Comes to him and says let's bet and he goes

Matt (43:04.548)
But yeah.

Luciano (43:09.726)
You can tell it's like I shouldn't buy one too. Okay, how about double or nothing? Ooh, nothing. I could lose nothing. Yeah, let's do this precious.

Spencer (43:17.62)
He's like, I'm in deep with the sharks. The literal sharks.

Chris (43:24.27)
Mmm.

Matt (43:24.506)
And that's how loan sharks were created.

Spencer (43:26.286)
the

Luciano (43:26.708)
Hey, there you go.

Matt (43:29.209)
Now that

Matt (43:37.466)
shark fights, baboon fights, cherish fights. Yep.

Luciano (43:38.134)
?

Chris (43:41.326)
pink slips for chariots.

Luciano (43:41.526)
You

Spencer (43:43.284)
Your pink slip against mine.

Matt (43:45.402)
Yeah, yeah, he's lost quite a few chariots in those races.

Luciano (43:46.282)
Hahaha!

Chris (43:46.414)
Mm-hmm.

Spencer (43:49.14)
Yeah, he keeps buying chariots and he's just not very good at it. He's probably in, he's probably, I wouldn't doubt he's probably in pretty deep to Ravi for that opium.

Luciano (43:50.55)
Yes.

Chris (43:52.059)
Mmm, I lost the Bugatti us

Matt (44:01.814)
Mm-hmm. Yep.

Luciano (44:02.388)
Yeah.

Spencer (44:04.041)
You know.

Chris (44:05.07)
I wanna sail away Ravi, but you can't afford it.

Luciano (44:07.702)
It sounds like he's one of those guys where if he thinks he can make a little bit of money off betting, he will do it with whatever. Like, I bet you can throw your vial into that vase. I'm not going to bet you. No, no, I bet you 10 denarii. 20, 30.

Matt (44:20.312)
Yeah.

That said, he owes Ravi 10,000 denariens because he's constantly just being like, Ravi, don't think you can heal that gladiator in a week. I don't think you can do it.

Luciano (44:32.2)
Yeah, yeah, you can't, you can't amputate that leg without him screaming at least once.

Matt (44:37.711)
Yeah.

Spencer (44:38.036)
And he's so addicted that he just keeps giving worse and worse odds for himself. He's like, he's like, all right, 1000 and are you like, all right, I'll lose. I'll bet you 5000 are to your 10 denarii. And the guy's like, that's, a horrible bet for you. like, 10,000 denarii to your five denarii.

Luciano (44:41.878)
Ha

Matt (44:42.618)
He has no idea.

Luciano (44:48.256)
Yeah.

Chris (44:49.026)
Mm-hmm.

Matt (44:53.722)
He gets out the advocates, he's like, no, it works, the math works, trust me, just watch.

Luciano (44:53.92)
for your, yeah. Yeah, like someone taught him math but like backwards. So he thinks like he's giving good odds when he's like actually giving terrible odds. No, then one to 10, one to 100, one to a million. What's a million? That number even exists.

Chris (44:55.384)
Take it or leave it!

Matt (45:11.258)
I can't lose this bet.

Chris (45:13.836)
It's like he's Gil times a million denarii meets the true definition of of betting and losing an arm and a leg. Like it is no, there's no good place for him.

Luciano (45:23.825)
Hahaha

I bet you an eyeball you can't heal that guy.

Chris (45:29.61)
I'll give you my vision. It's so symbolic.

Matt (45:33.945)
It really is.

Luciano (45:34.027)
There you go.

Spencer (45:34.516)
And what did he get? He gave him information so he wouldn't take his house? Was that the deal?

Luciano (45:37.972)
Yeah, I think so.

Matt (45:39.13)
Uhhh, I don't even know if that's true.

Chris (45:41.772)
It felt like he still was on the hook to me.

Matt (45:43.278)
Because, macaroni was like, I own this house and I would like your loyalty. So I don't know if you got to keep the house per se.

Luciano (45:48.704)
Yeah.

I think he said, he said, I have some information and I bet that you don't know what it is. And if you don't know what it is, you give me my house back. And Macaroni was like, okay. And then he told him and he's, and then he told him, he's like, I already knew it was like, now you owe me your house and your maid. Yeah.

Matt (46:01.754)
I know what it is, I know who he is. Yeah. But this is how bad Thrax is at gambling. Macaroni didn't know, he just said he knew after he was told, so yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. God, he's so good!

Spencer (46:09.405)
Yeah.

Luciano (46:12.979)
Yeah, exactly, exactly. That's exactly what I meant. He was like, no, I already knew. God damn it. How? Well, I have my ways. Yeah.

Chris (46:14.126)
Gil!

Spencer (46:19.796)
He's so good at this!

Chris (46:21.474)
Gale loses again.

Matt (46:23.987)
different question. Why does macronutrients like to get wet?

Spencer (46:29.426)
I I didn't know he liked to get wet.

Luciano (46:31.104)
Who doesn't?

Chris (46:33.943)
When you're at the top, you got to find all kinds of ways to get your kicks. When you're running at peak peak at peak. Mm. Mm. Booger sugarus. Yeah, it takes a lot. It takes a lot to be able to to facilitate and orchestrate a lot like your way into the political fields of like the capital and the Senate. Right. Politics. Right. And so

Spencer (46:37.566)
Ha ha ha!

Luciano (46:40.116)
My man.

Matt (46:41.421)
and jealous dust?

Luciano (46:43.197)
and jealous dust.

Spencer (46:48.286)
Boogabooogashugurus.

Luciano (46:59.594)
politics.

Hahaha!

Chris (47:04.736)
It's only through these trips with mescalinus that gives way to true genius. Thus, the idea to genetically modify those monkey dog creatures and then his heir to, his true successor, I believe, what did y'all call him? Dondas? Emperor Dondas? His dark alchemy, his dark science.

Luciano (47:08.95)
Hahaha

Luciano (47:28.394)
Yes, first of his name.

Spencer (47:33.78)
I'm in hoot.

Chris (47:34.857)
to places he never thought he would go.

Luciano (47:35.85)
You know, if the scene with the shark and the scene with the baboons was seen from Macanus' miscalinus strip, that would make sense.

Spencer (47:43.375)
he was trippin'.

Spencer (47:46.996)
He was on... Christernicus... Methodus... Christernicus... Methodus... Ah, Christernicus... Methodus... Yeah, he to dabble, you You don't say... You don't go...

Luciano (47:50.07)
Crystal Matthews, Crystal Matthews.

Chris (47:56.52)
Mmm. That sounds Anglican to me for some reason.

Luciano (48:03.702)
Amen.

Chris (48:04.654)
could either could have...

Spencer (48:16.775)
Very nice. actually forgot what he said. Dude, too, he goes, ha ha ha. Too much. He was actually referring to how much drugs he had in the system at the time. Too much. Chris Turnip is Methodist in my system.

Luciano (48:18.846)
Yeah, it was something like that.

Chris (48:20.332)
You forgot what he said?

Luciano (48:23.382)
Too much, yeah, too much. Yeah, no, and he goes, he goes, ha ha ha, too much. He's like, yeah. Yeah.

Chris (48:26.498)
Yeah

Chris (48:35.15)
Mmm.

Matt (48:35.162)
That is too much. Hey, different question here. just want a casual thing. I'm just curious Lucilla sends away her child, Lucius. And she's like, I had to send you away. And then proceeds to never go get him.

Luciano (48:48.041)
Lucius.

Luciano (48:58.698)
Yeah, it's fucked up.

Matt (49:00.13)
What, what was she, why did she have to sit on my, what was she doing?

Spencer (49:03.87)
Well, like, yeah. Yeah, that was the part that made me confused was like, she's like, I had to stay.

Luciano (49:06.346)
Sending her or him away makes sense. Why didn't you go with is the question. Yeah.

Matt (49:14.636)
Right, but that's not the question I asked. I asked what was she doing?

Chris (49:16.334)
Maybe she wanted to.

Spencer (49:17.16)
Well she sent him away because they were going to assassinate him.

Matt (49:19.13)
What was she doing?

Chris (49:22.542)
Maybe she was trying to help him buy time. Maybe she was trying to buy time for him by distracting. Like he's a kid, he's doing some stuff. How would you like to talk to me? Oh, shit.

Spencer (49:22.666)
what was she doing?

Luciano (49:27.712)
Shut up.

or she had to manage her boba tea stand that she had.

Spencer (49:35.943)
I think she was like, oh no, I would love to come with you, but oh dang, I gotta stay here in this palace. Ah, the worst, because I've gotten used to this lifestyle. I have to protect you by telling them that you're in places that you're not.

Chris (49:39.681)
entrepreneur.

Luciano (49:46.791)
Yeah, yeah.

Luciano (49:52.978)
I have to protect you somehow!

Matt (50:00.194)
And Pedro Pascal is just around the corner like heeee

Spencer (50:01.844)
Excuse me. I must go now. I have a meeting with sex. I mean I Have a Pascal in my mouth Pedro to bang. Oh boy Take away boys

Luciano (50:02.998)
You

Matt (50:04.698)
You

Matt (50:08.922)
I have a sexist meeting. God damn it.

Luciano (50:11.358)
Yeah, damn it! No, that's not it!

Luciano (50:17.718)
Ha

Luciano (50:24.054)
I'm sorry. I'm I'm I'm my mouth is full of Pascal. I mean my mouth is full of I'll come get you a promise as soon as I can 26 years later

Matt (50:24.78)
Spencer (50:31.876)
love you bye yeah yeah and and it really seems like he doesn't did they like infer that he died like she thought he was dead

Chris (50:33.812)
Remember

Matt (50:45.23)
Nothing. All we know is that he double ran away because they came looking for him.

Spencer (50:49.096)
And she never was like, maybe I'll try and find them.

Luciano (50:52.242)
Yeah, Yeah.

Matt (50:52.322)
Nothing is said. Nothing is said about him being double gone. Nothing is said about her not trying to find him.

Luciano (50:57.674)
The only thing she says is I failed him and I know it and I don't blame him for hating me. That's all she says. Which fair.

Spencer (51:04.18)
She's like, Pedro, I need your help to find my beautiful eyes. mean, to find my acasius. It's like my acasius. I mean, my son, Lucius. Kiss me, Mr. I mean, to be.

Luciano (51:17.21)
Hahaha!

Luciano (51:24.382)
Hahaha

Ha

Matt (51:28.058)
you

Spencer (51:33.8)
To be fair, I think we'd all be a little distracted with, with that man, the general Pascal with that all white outfit. I think we'd all forget about our son.

Chris (51:38.062)
Mm-hmm.

Luciano (51:39.626)
General Pascal.

Matt (51:43.898)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Chris (51:45.9)
He knew he understood the assignment.

Luciano (51:49.014)
We would also send our sons away.

Matt (51:49.08)
You

Spencer (51:51.668)
to an African country.

Chris (51:54.688)
Terrible, terrible, uncertain future.

Luciano (51:56.478)
No, well, I mean he goes to Africa the second time the first time he's just in some backwater in Rome

Matt (51:56.813)
I don't

Matt (52:01.314)
He runs further away. I don't remember having any sons personally, so don't see I would be affected by this.

Luciano (52:02.816)
Yeah.

Chris (52:05.408)
nor do I. So that's more of a y'all.

Spencer (52:06.758)
I mean, if you knew Pedro Pascal, you wouldn't know you had a son.

Luciano (52:11.166)
Hahaha!

Matt (52:14.488)
Okay, let's get into this. This is the real meat of the... This is the questions that are gonna really flesh out this movie and make us understand everything. What arrows? Why arrows? How arrows? Who arrows? When arrows? Cause... Cause like...

Luciano (52:32.96)
Who? Who errors?

Spencer (52:37.372)
Yeah, I hear you.

Luciano (52:37.632)
How? Yeah.

Matt (52:41.434)
You all watch the Robin Hood movie with Taron Eggerson and They use crossbows like machine guns It feels like this was doing the same thing like when they have the arrows pointed at the crowd and point blank range or even when Pedro Pascal enters the the stable and they're all like the arrow crossfire and they shoot everybody except Pedro Pascal and Point blank range

Luciano (52:42.224)
They- I mean... Yeah.

Spencer (52:43.796)
Not that one.

Chris (52:43.982)
Hmm, which one? that one. I saw that

Luciano (52:50.08)
Yeah.

Luciano (52:54.91)
Yeah.

Luciano (53:02.803)
Yeah.

Spencer (53:02.964)
In like one second.

Luciano (53:06.996)
Yeah, no, that was that was some John Wick shit like that. Whoever wrote this was like, mean, both Bows and arrows are basically like pistols, right? Like or like Uzis or something like that.

Matt (53:17.657)
Yeah, probably.

Spencer (53:18.708)
They seem more like sniper rifles. But not really. Sniper rifles that can be used at close range. What do call that?

Chris (53:21.292)
Hmm

Chris (53:26.574)
I call that the same technique.

Luciano (53:26.966)
A pistol? A gun, yeah.

Matt (53:27.01)
a rifle. No, but like, but like, I don't know enough about arrows, but just by using logic, feels like it's too close to actually do anything to somebody. Like by the time you let go, it's, like just left the bow and it's hitting a man. That's not like maybe it pierces them. I don't know.

Luciano (53:49.721)
No, I wouldn't.

Spencer (53:49.97)
I mean, I know that those arrows pierce to everything. Those armor does nothing.

Luciano (53:54.646)
Yeah. Well, actually, that was the one thing that was like when Arishat gets killed. I was like, oh, OK. So it's not like it's going to be different. It's just leather, right? That made sense. Everything else about bows and arrows in this movie didn't. Like the scene where the guard comes in and turns around and aims at the crowd. was like, what? What did they have? A repetition bow and arrow? Yeah.

Matt (53:55.03)
Well, that's fair.

Spencer (54:19.252)
Hey, hey, shut up!

Matt (54:22.266)
I'll shoot one of the 10,000.

Spencer (54:24.148)
You don't shut up water view it's gonna have a big problem

Luciano (54:24.758)
Yeah. Which is what happened. The one time they actually shot someone fucking all the way up in the stands, they get fucking destroyed. People throw them into the arena and everything. Yeah.

Matt (54:30.039)
Maybe.

Spencer (54:34.132)
Yes! Some lady! Yeah. I was like, wait, why did they shoot that lady? like, they were just yelling. Like, nothing was even happening. It was like that scene in Lord of the Rings where the old man can't hold the bow any longer. He's like, shaking. I was like, no! Arrows were a bad choice! I want you to hold your pulled back arrow aimed at the crowd for the entire tournament.

Matt (54:37.722)
Yeah.

Luciano (54:42.635)
BLEH

Yeah.

Chris (54:52.718)
Hmm.

Luciano (54:54.598)
Hahaha!

Luciano (55:00.596)
Time, yeah.

Matt (55:01.786)
It was fine when they used it to shoot Pedro Pascal, like I get why they were there, but then they brought them back the next time, I was like, what are you doing?

Luciano (55:10.249)
Yeah.

Spencer (55:10.302)
I just hated how they used arrows to kill every important character. It just felt so like lame. It's like, everybody just shoot them. Yeah.

Luciano (55:18.14)
Including Lucilla, like Macronus picks up the bow and arrow and goes I'm a marksman too I'm just gonna shoot her right in the middle of the chest

Matt (55:26.55)
I'm pretty sure that Macronus, even though he had like a tiny little like nail, he was actually arrow tipped and he just drove an arrow slowly into what's his face, his head. Yeah.

Spencer (55:33.684)
Every character dies via arrow. Well, yeah, like all the good characters die by arrow, which is just so lame again, I'm Call me old-fashioned, but I like seeing decapitations in my gladiator movies and I got one and

Luciano (55:34.42)
Yeah.

Chris (55:34.926)
Precision, easier to conceal.

Luciano (55:42.9)
Yeah.

Matt (55:48.186)
Okay.

Chris (55:51.502)
We did get the captain in the beginning. He died by baboon.

Matt (55:51.704)
You got one.

Luciano (55:54.804)
That was a cool decapitation over the two swords. That was pretty cool.

Spencer (55:57.704)
But was straight out of the original, it was the same move. And it was a little too CGI-y, I thought. I liked when they used to have like just fake heads that they would cut off and any, sorry. I wanted to see, I wanted to see Pager Pascal get sorted. Not arrowed.

Luciano (56:00.87)
Yeah, of course. That's why it was cool.

Matt (56:09.294)
Hey man, you're ranting. We don't have time for that here. You should have done that in the first section.

Matt (56:17.089)
Aeroid? Not we-

Luciano (56:18.07)
Sworded. Sworded.

Spencer (56:21.108)
Sexual Ascobate?

Matt (56:21.23)
Hey man, we don't have time for your fucking little escapades off into swords. No, who you bang on your own time and forget about your sons is your own business.

Luciano (56:25.024)
Fetish.

Spencer (56:29.492)
I have a sordid vision of Pedro Vasquez.

Luciano (56:30.716)
It's your deal, yeah.

Matt (56:35.522)
Let's talk about something else that's... I want to talk about, because fuck you. Maximus's armor is hanging up in a pit at the Colosseum in the basement that no one goes into and obviously eventually Lucius wears it. How... What the fuck is with that armor?

Chris (56:39.681)
Yeah

Luciano (56:40.682)
Fair enough.

Luciano (56:45.494)
Abasement. Abasement, yeah.

Spencer (56:46.535)
Yeah.

Luciano (56:58.742)
You mean why was it able to withstand a blade at point blank range? Yeah.

Spencer (56:59.508)
It's the only armor that works!

Matt (57:06.06)
It looks leather as shit and even if you can say that the wheats and the horses and all that shit was metal, the rest of it looked leather as fuck. So how is it that when macaroni stabs them eight times, all of them just like, with a pointy ass sword.

Luciano (57:13.204)
Right. Yeah.

Spencer (57:15.176)
Yeah.

Luciano (57:18.738)
A million times, And you hear metal on metal too.

Spencer (57:22.866)
Yeah, the sound effect made it like...

Luciano (57:26.902)
And he was like double handing that sword like you're What the fuck's happening, yeah Yeah

Spencer (57:28.87)
Yeah

Matt (57:32.162)
Yeah, nothing happens to him.

Spencer (57:33.987)
Like bullet ricocheting. It was, uh, yeah, that was, uh, I wouldn't have mind. It was like, uh, also like, so the fact that she was so many times was like, see the armor escaping him. Like, yeah, it's like one time I would have been like, okay, like a glancing blow, but it was like, boom, bang, bang, boom. I was just like, wait.

Luciano (57:40.616)
It's made of mithril. It's made of mithril. That's what it is.

Matt (57:47.386)
Cough

Luciano (57:49.446)
Is pro- is protecting him! Yeah, yeah.

Luciano (58:00.054)
Yeah, it's a it was it was like almost like a comedic scene Like like from like a Benny Hill thing where it goes like oh it doesn't go in Like what the fuck

Spencer (58:03.79)
Yeah

Spencer (58:09.044)
Like cuts to him above the water stabbing, cuts him under the water getting stabbed, back to him above the water stabbing, back to him under the water getting hit. I was just like, whoa, this is, this is, so to answer Matt's question, it's magic.

Luciano (58:13.342)
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Luciano (58:22.484)
Yeah, it is magic. It's made of mithril.

Spencer (58:24.444)
It's got, no, it's got Maximus's soul.

Chris (58:26.542)
It's enchanted. Imbued with the hero of Rome's plus 500 defense.

Luciano (58:29.973)
Yeah.

Spencer (58:33.972)
Yeah, he had a defense buff due to being covered in Maximus's soul.

Luciano (58:34.238)
Yeah, there you go.

Chris (58:42.166)
And by soul he means...

Spencer (58:44.052)
Exactly what you think!

Luciano (58:44.182)
Seamen.

Matt (58:44.365)
Next question.

Matt (58:48.49)
What? What's Vico's deal? Vico is macaroni second in command.

Spencer (58:52.5)
Thank you. You knew we were gonna know who that was.

Matt (58:57.882)
100%. I'm well aware of what happened on this podcast. What's he up to? Why he there? Like, he seems like he's with macaroni, but then at the end he's just like, man, fuck it, I'll throw him with you guys.

Luciano (59:09.128)
No he doesn't, gets killed! He gets killed, yeah! Lucius kills him when he gets away.

Spencer (59:09.138)
No, he doesn't get thrown in, he gets stabbed in the neck!

Matt (59:11.098)
He throws in with death, I don't know.

Chris (59:16.59)
The path of the number one is a solitary path and you either are loyal or you are gonna flip at the drop of a pogarium, okay? You see, pogarium! Anyways, Vigo, I think he just had, he called it as he saw it. He was sticking to his guns, he was loyal. Confirm or deny that because...

Matt (59:30.426)
I'm not familiar with that term, but okay.

Spencer (59:31.028)
I'll res- I'll- I respect that callback.

Chris (59:46.186)
I'm literally pulling out of the ether right now. That's fine too. I just think he's, I think he's, I think he's loyal.

Matt (59:49.336)
You could not talk, that's an option if you have to pull out the aether. Yeah.

Luciano (59:50.536)
Yeah, yeah, that's it.

Spencer (59:54.856)
He's a good dude. Everybody killed that child.

Luciano (59:56.47)
Yeah, was it? Yeah.

Chris (01:00:01.9)
I can... This podcast is not affiliated or associates itself with the actions of Vigo.

Spencer (01:00:06.791)
Chris, I'm gonna use your time.

Chris (01:00:10.936)
Yeah, I'm done. I was already done. I was already done. I was done.

Luciano (01:00:11.062)
It was yelled.

Matt (01:00:13.902)
He was done before he started. shouldn't have started, but that's fine.

Spencer (01:00:16.062)
I think Vigo's deal is he is also a former gladiator who wasn't good enough to win his freedom, but wasn't bad enough.

Luciano (01:00:26.106)
no. Is this, is this if those who can do those who can teach, is that, is that what you're saying?

Chris (01:00:26.245)
a burnout?

Matt (01:00:29.039)
To die?

Spencer (01:00:29.64)
to die exactly. Yeah. So he would fight and he'd always find ways to survive without winning in the arena. So you just kind of like hide under a dead body or, or, you know, jump into the shark water, but not get eaten.

Chris (01:00:42.38)
Nice.

Luciano (01:00:42.656)
Hahaha!

Chris (01:00:47.501)
did it guys!

Matt (01:00:50.104)
I think, no, not when he wouldn't jump in the shark water, he'd just stay under, like, in where the oars were, he'd go under the boat and just stay there. Would never come out.

Luciano (01:00:55.85)
Yeah, stay there. Yeah, yeah.

Spencer (01:00:57.106)
Yeah, he was a coward, but he acted tough. And, Macronus saw that and was like, this guy, he will work cheap.

Matt (01:00:59.384)
Yeah, okay.

Luciano (01:01:06.56)
He is worth... He is worth...

Matt (01:01:08.922)
You

Chris (01:01:08.94)
Why are you holding a knife?

Spencer (01:01:10.644)
That's what he thought I keep this ready He says

Chris (01:01:14.158)
It's like this I keep this where I my prison wallet and I keep I stay strapped

Luciano (01:01:14.962)
You

Matt (01:01:15.034)
Macaroni always has a little shank around.

Luciano (01:01:22.814)
Yeah, we've seen it. He does. Yeah.

Matt (01:01:25.946)
You're doing this right.

Spencer (01:01:28.006)
And I think that's why he got a steal of a deal on him. And he took abuse, which is a

Luciano (01:01:36.394)
Yeah, I think, yeah.

Matt (01:01:36.708)
So Vigo works for peanuts, is what you're saying? Food.

Spencer (01:01:40.796)
Like... So few dinari.

Luciano (01:01:43.618)
Yeah, I was gonna say not many denarii Yeah, yeah, he gets he gets paid in NFT he gets paid in NFT let's be honest here NFT NFT

Matt (01:01:44.026)
Yeah. I think he gets paid in Pogarium because he doesn't understand that Pogarium aren't like the current currency. Yeah. Yeah.

Spencer (01:01:48.244)
Forget us!

Chris (01:01:53.228)
It cancels

Spencer (01:01:55.828)
I'm going to say this now.

Bulgarium is not happening. Weird. I will not allow Bulgarium to happen. Stop trying to make it happen.

Chris (01:02:00.014)
Nif-dom.

Luciano (01:02:01.588)
Hahaha!

Yeah.

Chris (01:02:05.592)
And yet here we are. And yet here we are. Because like, didn't MacRame also say that he doesn't even know how to use an abacus and so Bargarium was the only thing around? And he's like, here, you can use this. And Vigo's like, shekels!

Matt (01:02:15.322)
Exactly. He never goes to Rome to spend any money, just goes there to call CM, so it's fine. That's right.

Spencer (01:02:22.632)
No, he's not allowed to leave the calcium. He's still asleep.

Chris (01:02:22.85)
He ba- yeah. Yes.

Luciano (01:02:24.758)
Like I have an image in my head of like at the end of every month just the macaroni coming in with a huge bag of like Monopoly money. Here's your pay. I'm rich

Chris (01:02:34.572)
Yep. Just head on over and let Shelly, Shelly will take care of you. Just hop on over there.

Spencer (01:02:36.692)
But you can't leave, so you can only use it the vendor stand within the Coliseum.

Matt (01:02:41.38)
But also, yeah. And also like, it's definitely heat deducted room, board, clothing fee, yeah. It's fine. Yeah. You don't rent those.

Chris (01:02:43.96)
That's right.

Luciano (01:02:49.142)
Bored, yeah, clothing, yeah. Yeah.

Spencer (01:02:49.577)
Spencer (01:02:54.302)
Sword rental.

Chris (01:02:56.14)
Mmm jockstrap rental

Luciano (01:02:59.318)
Rant Jukestrap rental.

Spencer (01:03:01.492)
Hahaha, B.

Chris (01:03:01.998)
Listen, costs incur when you're the number one.

Matt (01:03:05.786)
But that is a rent to own kind of scenario, right? Like that's the goal there. Hey, who would've wanted to fight Hano or Maximus?

Luciano (01:03:08.419)
It's a lease. It's a lease.

Spencer (01:03:09.101)
Not in my experience.

Chris (01:03:12.002)
Uhhhh

Luciano (01:03:19.242)
Hmm, I don't know man, Hano ate a monkey

Chris (01:03:19.438)
would say Max.

Matt (01:03:21.018)
Show your work.

Chris (01:03:22.156)
Yeah.

Spencer (01:03:24.958)
Who, eh?

Chris (01:03:25.262)
You

Matt (01:03:25.804)
Eat a monkey, you bit one, that's fucking child's play.

Spencer (01:03:28.488)
Here's the million dollar question. Who's wearing the armor?

Luciano (01:03:29.255)
Haha!

Chris (01:03:32.258)
Ravi

Matt (01:03:35.121)
well, if Maximus is alive, then he's gonna wear his armor.

Spencer (01:03:38.174)
Well that armor is impenetrable.

Chris (01:03:39.118)
Present-day Maximus actor or...

Luciano (01:03:40.64)
But how can the armor have his soul if he's alive?

Matt (01:03:44.49)
Mmm, it's got you there. No. Yep. Who? Okay, next. There is a bow and arrow in the middle of the Coliseum.

Spencer (01:03:44.5)
Oh, it's not imbued with the soul. That equals the playing field.

Luciano (01:03:47.55)
Yeah.

Chris (01:03:50.318)
Mmm.

Spencer (01:03:51.73)
Okay, so...

Spencer (01:03:58.02)
no.

Luciano (01:03:59.023)
Maximus loses because he's a better man. So we know that the better people get killed by outboots and arrows

Spencer (01:04:04.99)
Let me ask you, I know what weird animal is involved in this battle because that is needed in every scene. Well, that's a twist on it.

Matt (01:04:06.276)
Not wrong.

Luciano (01:04:10.518)
True. That is also a lie. Well, I think I think the winner in that case are us that are watching this if that's the case.

Matt (01:04:11.768)
A LIGR

Matt (01:04:21.144)
You

Spencer (01:04:21.466)
Yeah, of course. Well, Maximus is the only one with experience fighting felines. Because yes, because he fought tigers. hand only had experience with sharks and monkeys and rhinos. So.

Matt (01:04:27.14)
Mm-hmm.

Chris (01:04:28.574)
G-Lions.

Luciano (01:04:29.696)
few lions.

Chris (01:04:33.23)
That's 50 % advantage.

Luciano (01:04:38.432)
Right.

Spencer (01:04:42.034)
I'm going have to give the edge. think that that Maximus would use the liger as a weapon.

Chris (01:04:42.626)
We win.

Matt (01:04:49.818)
Just throw them at him.

Spencer (01:04:50.992)
Like hold him by the back of his neck and the tail Like hold it like a like yeah, like hold him like a chainsaw I Think that is what's gonna seal the deal

Luciano (01:04:52.448)
by the tail.

Matt (01:04:53.114)
Like a chainsaw kind of situation.

Chris (01:04:54.606)
The scruff. Okay, I'll just run the tape.

Luciano (01:04:59.51)
Like a Tas like a Tasmanian devil I'd watch that I'd fucking watch that

Matt (01:05:02.382)
Ha ha ha!

Matt (01:05:06.306)
Yeah.

Matt (01:05:12.322)
Okay, now I'm here for that. Last question before we do a review of this movie. Ravi.

Spencer (01:05:20.785)
no.

Luciano (01:05:21.563)
my god.

Matt (01:05:21.914)
Dr. Ravi Medicine Woman. What? He had like all these potions on his person? What were they? One was apparently just vinegar. Okay, Ravi, whatever.

Luciano (01:05:30.524)
Yeah, just pure... He jiggles, he takes a swig. yeah, that's the good stuff.

Chris (01:05:32.632)
Yeah.

Spencer (01:05:35.188)
It's straight vinegar. Well, we know some of it was Christinicus Methodus.

Matt (01:05:35.779)
Yeah.

Chris (01:05:36.087)
Yeah, of course.

Luciano (01:05:42.025)
Opium.

Matt (01:05:45.004)
Obviously,

Chris (01:05:45.036)
Yes, yes.

Luciano (01:05:46.512)
What? Wait, Christinicus? It's a dude. It's just, it's just the essence of some duty ground up. Here, have some.

Spencer (01:05:47.444)
You

Chris (01:05:49.92)
It just gets better and better. just gets... Okay, you know, I don't like where this is going anymore. I think I'm just gonna yield your time there, Luciano. I'm yielding it, I'm yielding it. He also carries crushed garlic oil, because he wants to make sure he can bring some extra zip to his Medicare treatments.

Matt (01:05:49.944)
Yeah.

Spencer (01:05:54.452)
It's his bone!

Matt (01:05:54.788)
Hey.

Luciano (01:06:00.38)
Have some crostinicus!

Matt (01:06:00.747)
you

Spencer (01:06:03.763)
No.

Luciano (01:06:05.078)
my god.

Luciano (01:06:10.72)
Garlic oil is treating against vampire bites or what's happening here?

Chris (01:06:14.902)
It's for zip, that's all.

Spencer (01:06:15.836)
It's an anti-inflammatory. Is it? I just said that.

Matt (01:06:16.768)
Zip? It is. Hey Chris, you mentioned Ginkgo biloba. Is that a potion or is that just like the raw herb?

Luciano (01:06:17.949)
I see.

Chris (01:06:19.288)
circulation.

Chris (01:06:24.098)
Yes.

Chris (01:06:27.886)
Well, if you crush it, it's easier to inhale and snort, which it goes directly to your cerebellum and it's supposed to help. Well, everybody's everything when you deal with Dr. Robbie. He's always laughing. He's like, inhale this. Right. And because

Matt (01:06:32.174)
Right. I assumed, yeah, you're gonna get it in there as fast as possible.

Matt (01:06:42.646)
Even the potions you're inhaling, obviously.

Luciano (01:06:45.364)
Well, the potions, I think he recommends Ravi's medicine style recommends you rubbing the potions on your eyeballs to just faster absorptions.

Chris (01:06:53.344)
shit.

Matt (01:06:54.466)
Well that's why he gave it so Lucius because he just poured it on his... His hands were cut up from rowing the fake boat. So it just get into his bloodstream immediately. Yeah.

Luciano (01:07:02.878)
Yeah, exactly. the one...

Chris (01:07:04.908)
Yes. You want to...

Spencer (01:07:05.873)
Weirdly enough, he has a bottle of Mountain Dew. This is...

Matt (01:07:11.662)
But he didn't like he-

Luciano (01:07:11.889)
Red Bull, Red Bull.

Chris (01:07:14.842)
Mountain- well Red Bull is clear-ish and Mountain Dew is yellow. shit.

Matt (01:07:15.51)
No, it's Mountain Dew Code Red, think is what we're getting here.

Spencer (01:07:17.81)
Yeah, obviously. And he was the, know, he was the first to ever have that drink and he went on to start the corporation that owns Mountain Dew. don't know what that is. Coca-Cola Corporation Pepsi and he and his last name, his full name, Ravi Pepsi Co. Hey, go within the name.

Luciano (01:07:18.555)
no, no, no.

Chris (01:07:28.802)
Shark Tank? Okay.

Luciano (01:07:30.899)
an empire.

Pepsi PepsiCo PepsiCo yeah Ravi PepsiCo PepsiCo yeah yeah of course PepsiCo PepsiCo is medicine woman

Matt (01:07:34.894)
Pepsi. No PepsiCo.

Chris (01:07:38.296)
PepsiCo, yes.

Mmm.

Matt (01:07:43.768)
First of all, it's Ravi Pepsikos.

Spencer (01:07:47.688)
Yeah, PepsiCo is Methodist. Methodist and woman. Yeah.

Chris (01:07:48.332)
Medicine woman

Matt (01:07:52.196)
Medicine Woman was his title.

Chris (01:07:54.766)
You're right. important to respect on that. It's hard for that.

Matt (01:07:59.256)
Yeah, okay. We've answered all the questions anybody wants to hear. Let's review this movie.

Spencer (01:08:04.552)
Yes, we did.

Chris (01:08:06.435)
God, do you feel so threatened? It's like, is this all over?

Matt (01:08:09.434)
If S is the highest level, F is the lowest level, somewhere in between is other rankings. Ah, Luciano, why don't you go first?

Spencer (01:08:20.624)
modern-day poet that bad

Luciano (01:08:22.582)
Yeah This is one letter. This is another there's some letters in the middle you figured the fuck out peace

Spencer (01:08:28.564)
You

Matt (01:08:29.646)
Hey man, we're wasting valuable podcast time by commenting on my poetry. I think they all stopped listening because of that, but who knows?

Luciano (01:08:33.853)
Are we? Are we?

Luciano (01:08:39.154)
I think I went into watching this movie with such low expectations that I was kind of pleasantly surprised, at least by the beginning of the movie. I wasn't bored. It was interesting. Like, I didn't hate Pedro Mascau's portrayal of Hano slash Lucius. It was a bit...

Spencer (01:09:00.658)
Wait, are you calling him Pedro Pascal? It's Paul. Paul Pascal. Pedro Pascal. Pedro Pascal. Beautiful.

Chris (01:09:01.58)
Hey Joe Mescal?

Luciano (01:09:03.74)
Mezcal, that's, or Paul Mezcal. Say, I merged them together into one gorgeous entity. Yeah, Paul Mezcal, sorry, sorry, yeah. And I was really bummed out by the end of the movie, like I said, like when things start ramping up towards the end, it's like a fucking fever dream. I remember back in the like,

Chris (01:09:10.463)
You know.

Luciano (01:09:30.454)
90s when games had to fit in a single CD and developers ran out of space and then the ending was like, this is what this feels like, where they ran out of space and ran out of runtime. This is a C for me. I don't regret watching it, but I don't think I would watch it again. And it didn't have any business being related to the first Gladiator, first of all. And it kind of, as we said, kind of ruined a little

some parts of the original movie. yeah, it's like a low C. If we had a minus, it'd be a C minus, but it's just a C.

Matt (01:10:08.954)
Your review makes it feel like I just watched the movie again, but that's okay. Yeah. Spencer, why don't you go next?

Spencer (01:10:11.764)
Hmm.

Luciano (01:10:12.018)
You're welcome. You're welcome.

Spencer (01:10:17.043)
Too much I'm in a weird I'm in such a weird spot with this movie because I do think there's like a little bit of a post section 31 allure to it For those that missed the last podcast. I feel like anything I would have watched after watching the section 31 would have seemed so like competent

Chris (01:10:18.922)
Hehehehe

Luciano (01:10:19.466)
Hahaha!

Luciano (01:10:32.565)
Yes, that's true. At least it's not that.

Chris (01:10:35.438)
Mmm.

Spencer (01:10:44.828)
In comparison, my initial thing was like this feels like a movie, which is not. You can't say that for everything I've learned. And but also it's hindered by it being a sequel to Gladiator, which is such a good movie, so it has all these these like outside factors which affected my brain. So I'm trying not to let all that interfere and like Luciano, I was. Expecting it to be really bad.

Matt (01:11:00.889)
Yes.

Spencer (01:11:14.214)
Somebody told me was really bad a friend of mine was like he absolutely hated it. So it wasn't that bad But it also was not good. I respect I'll tell you one thing I respect the shit out of this movie for not putting in a CGI D age Russell Crowe in the final scene of the movie that was gonna be like the the nail for me I was like if if if they have a CGI D age Russell Crowe coming in from the afterlife, I am going to lose it

Luciano (01:11:22.752)
Good.

Luciano (01:11:33.6)
Yeah.

Luciano (01:11:43.602)
Hahaha!

Spencer (01:11:44.276)
And I because that's definitely somebody definitely tried to do that. I do not doubt that that was like pushed, pushed. You know, even had him touching the grass. I was like, oh, no, they're going to cut up to him. Fucking grandma Tarkin. Having said all that, it's also not a very good movie. So I will give it a. See, if it wasn't post section 31, it might have been a D. But it's lucky. So.

Luciano (01:11:56.203)
Yeah.

Luciano (01:12:14.408)
It looks like we're all reenacting the movie in our reviews.

Chris (01:12:14.646)
Ha ha!

Spencer (01:12:17.32)
Hey! Was it... Too much?

Luciano (01:12:21.398)
Too much.

Matt (01:12:22.004)
Yes, Chris. Go next.

Chris (01:12:26.168)
This movie was a... I feel like I have to give this movie a D.

because of how it just made me feel.

Spencer (01:12:34.494)
Probably because you watched half. Fuck you. He gives the first half D.

Matt (01:12:36.41)
Great, good job.

Luciano (01:12:37.366)
I was gonna say, I have to give this movie a D because I didn't finish it.

Chris (01:12:43.264)
It says in half of it was good. I don't have enough data to rule otherwise.

Luciano (01:12:45.788)
Hahaha!

Matt (01:12:49.242)
He yells at his time. I only gave this movie a C because it was meh.

Spencer (01:12:54.078)
Would you shut up? Goddamn chatterbox.

Luciano (01:12:54.166)
Okay? God, how long are you gonna go for? Jesus! Shut the fuck up! Yeah. Anyway.

Chris (01:12:56.994)
Why do you go on and droning on and on? All the time we have to put up with your, you know.

Matt (01:13:05.306)
Thank you. It was not bad, not the worst, but like, I don't know, just felt like really Scott wanted to fucking make his accent or like director's cut of Gladiator and make Gladiator 2 for no reason and then renamed it.

Spencer (01:13:06.119)
Hahaha

Spencer (01:13:18.216)
But why?

Luciano (01:13:19.444)
He's been he's been doing that with a lot of his like own the stuff that he he did when he was younger That was awesome. He's like, you know what? I'm gonna shit on my legacy now

Spencer (01:13:27.976)
Listen, he could be like Francis Ford Coppola making Megalopolis.

Matt (01:13:28.292)
Yeah, it's fine.

Chris (01:13:29.57)
Next will be Alien.

Matt (01:13:33.422)
That's fine. Make a passion project. Make it terrible, but just don't do the same movie again.

Luciano (01:13:36.79)
Don't make sequels, she sequels to your good movies, like basically.

Matt (01:13:41.274)
Yeah, that's it. yield my time. Next week, we are going to watch a completely different movie. We are going to watch Nasferatu, the 2025, 2024. I think it came out in December 2024.

Luciano (01:13:54.76)
Also, not the 1928 one. Okay, the silent, the silent movie.

Matt (01:13:58.09)
No, not, I mean, watch it, maybe you can compare it.

Spencer (01:14:01.246)
Not the German impressionist, Dracula Nagov?

Matt (01:14:04.938)
Yeah, the the let's go Nicholas Holt vehicle.

Luciano (01:14:07.935)
That sounds about right.

Chris (01:14:09.88)
Rainfield.

Matt (01:14:10.83)
Yeah, well, not this time.

Spencer (01:14:11.134)
next Luthor.

Chris (01:14:13.422)
Thanks.

Matt (01:14:15.181)
at this time.

Spencer (01:14:15.752)
Say like.

Chris (01:14:17.41)
Let's.

Spencer (01:14:19.102)
Say like.

Matt (01:14:19.169)
No.

Luciano (01:14:20.0)
Hahahaha!

Matt (01:14:22.778)
So yeah, watch Nosferatu and No watch it fuck you Spencer

Spencer (01:14:25.746)
Or don't, I'm not your boss.

Luciano (01:14:27.572)
Yeah.

Chris (01:14:28.227)
Yeah.

Luciano (01:14:32.446)
Watch it now, go now! Watch it, watch it every day until the episode comes out next week.

Matt (01:14:33.916)
Yeah, go now. Don't listen to us. Don't wait for the end of this podcast.

Spencer (01:14:35.433)
Ha ha ha.

Matt (01:14:40.33)
be watching it right now. Okay, goodbye.

Chris (01:14:40.622)
I've queued it up.