Matt (00:00.981)
Hello and welcome to a very special episode of Pop Gun and Plot Holes. Chris is returned from the dead. Welcome back Chris.
Chris (00:06.161)
Mm-hmm.
Luciano (00:08.686)
he was dead?
Chris (00:09.725)
But limited podcast power. Yes.
Luciano (00:12.75)
You
Matt (00:13.597)
That's the only thing special about it. have one of the regulars back. Spencer, however, is still trapped in parts unknown. Montreal has swallowed them whole, as far as I understand.
Chris (00:20.648)
Mmm.
Luciano (00:23.65)
Yep, that's what happens when you go there.
Matt (00:27.271)
Yeah, maybe, maybe next week. Did Luciano just die?
Chris (00:27.763)
You go, yeah.
Luciano (00:32.438)
No, I'm here.
Chris (00:32.709)
I see him.
Matt (00:33.657)
Okay. I heard, I heard robots, so I just want to make sure that we're good to go. Okay. yeah. So, welcome this week. We are talking about love hurts last week, Lucy and I did a deep dive into the Marvel or somewhere they stand. if you listen to that, you're welcome. And yeah, we're going to talk about love hurts. Chris is welcome back.
Luciano (00:37.377)
No, no.
Chris (00:37.692)
Chris (00:57.789)
Yes.
Thank you so much. And with that, also bring great tidings of my departure. mean, the fake reason is creative differences, but the real reason is, I yeah, the fake, it's the fake. That's why I prefaced it. The fake reason is because fake creative differences. But no, in all honesty, we've been giving you all the art for, this art for four or five years.
Luciano (01:03.022)
Hahaha
Matt (01:10.555)
Well, shit.
Matt (01:15.879)
Yeah, it is now.
Luciano (01:16.334)
creative differences.
Matt (01:31.249)
free! That's bullshit.
Chris (01:32.721)
free motherfuckers and like motherfuckers got bills to pay. like, but the real reason, real real reason is like, I'm doing a lot of career coaching in the design community, like, and I'm trying to make that necessarily a global thing, but there are people who are really struggling and it's something I'm, I've committed to and care very much about. I care about this too, but I can't do it all. And so yeah, when I can, I'll come back as a guest. I'll pretty much be like Spencer.
I will become my destiny will be to become the new Spencer who like first time long time in truth it'll be.
Luciano (02:02.19)
You'll be here more than Spencer.
Matt (02:02.267)
Yeah.
Matt (02:07.837)
Luciano (02:10.094)
So, so I just to make sure that I understood what you said. You hate us and you hope we all die.
Chris (02:15.229)
Mm-hmm.
Matt (02:18.085)
I heard he thinks he's better than us. Yeah.
Chris (02:18.291)
That's what I didn't that that's neither I can either confirm nor deny see Creative differences. I say one thing and y'all try to twist my words. This feels like gas creative gas lighting This is podcast gas lighting y'all
Luciano (02:20.822)
Yeah, that too.
Matt (02:25.693)
Yeah. Get the fuck out of here. That's what we do here. You're welcome. Well, fuck you for leaving us. We hope you fail at all your future endeavors and you come crawling back.
Luciano (02:38.286)
Yeah.
Chris (02:39.665)
love you all too. Read between the lines, listeners. They care very deeply. This is their way of expressing Fair D Wells.
Luciano (02:41.262)
Yeah, just so that we can say no.
Luciano (02:49.856)
Yeah, no, this is our, we're stuck in the anger stage of grieving. And we're never leaving.
Matt (02:49.937)
Yeah, that's that's.
Matt (02:55.233)
Yeah, we're never leaving it.
Chris (02:55.603)
Perpetual, perpetual. Very Palpatine of y'all.
Matt (02:58.865)
Petrol anger. No, but seriously, good luck. We'll miss you. We're happy to take you back when you're around and we'll make sure to choose. Well, all only poor movies, but we already do that. So that won't change.
Chris (03:05.789)
I miss y'all too. Yay.
Luciano (03:12.781)
Yeah, it won't change much,
Chris (03:15.827)
It'll be fascinating to see who you replace me with too. I'll be like, who is this?
Luciano (03:19.554)
AI.
Matt (03:20.733)
Yeah, we're going to make your voice into an AI, so enjoy that. That's fine. I'll think.
Chris (03:23.571)
Oh, I do not consent! do not! No!
Luciano (03:23.575)
Yeah.
considering the way you do ratings and the way AI's hallucinate, will be as if you never left. You may already be AI.
Chris (03:35.448)
No one will tell the difference. What have I done?
Matt (03:35.451)
Yep. Listen, you may have said you don't consent, but I'm just going to delete that from the podcast. Chris has been AI the whole time. AI quit on us. That's how bad this podcast is.
Luciano (03:46.168)
Ha ha ha ha!
Chris (03:48.16)
shit. No, God.
Luciano (03:50.412)
That tracks, that would track, yeah.
Matt (03:51.579)
Yeah, fucking AI. All right. Well, let's let's not belabor the point. Chris is dead to us. But while the king is still here and not dead, long live the king. And let's knock out what could be a very exciting movie. We don't know. You'll have to listen to find out. again, that movie's love hurts. It is listen, I'm not going to say anything bad about this movie right away. I'm just going to say
Chris (03:53.999)
okay. Mm. Yep.
Chris (04:06.771)
Mm. Mm. Mm-hmm.
Luciano (04:14.796)
was the Property Brothers vehicle. That guy, the karate guy, was one of the Property Brothers. Yeah.
Chris (04:18.087)
vehicle?
Matt (04:18.633)
Yeah, it is the property of brother's Drew Scott and I want to say his brother's Adam Scott and I know that's not true. yeah, it is the key Hugh Kwan movie vehicle. I wanted so desperately for this movie to be good. I really like him as an actor and I really enjoyed his renaissance. just actually I I was going to say I finally got around to finishing Loki season two.
Luciano (04:27.662)
He's on severance. His brother's on severance.
Chris (04:28.115)
Somebody got severed.
Luciano (04:37.09)
Yes.
Chris (04:40.435)
Mm.
Luciano (04:41.902)
Don't bury the lead. Don't bury the lead.
Matt (04:47.387)
and I really enjoyed his run as Ouroboros. He did a great job in that. Yeah, highly recommended. So let's stay positive. Everybody gonna go in the run room as always. One nice positive thing about this movie. Chris, why don't you go first?
Chris (04:48.051)
Mm-hmm.
Luciano (04:52.137)
I have to watch it still.
Chris (04:52.548)
yeah, so good. Yes.
Thanks. For starters, I mean, it was kind of an interesting one-two punch, like being targeted for like the Valentine's Day crowd, then action slightly, I can't pin it right now. It's not noir-ish, but it's sort of leveraging that structure where,
starts at, it starts in this like odd setting and we have this character, but then the whole like that their entire past, violent past comes back to haunt them. To me that felt like a really nice callback, but nice homage to movies that leverage that approach. I liked it and Kikui Kuan, love him, love him. And I honestly liked all of it. Everyone in the cast felt like they earned their place there. And like, even though the pacing,
was too, well except for Merlot, fuck him. But even though the pacing was like pretty, pretty fast, I understood why. And so I, for those reasons, the cast, the lead and what they were aiming for and like the pacing in terms of just like, okay, not all action, but like office goings on with Ashley and shit. I was okay with it. I was like, okay, I'm quitting. I'm like.
Why is this here? But I'm okay with it. And so yeah.
Matt (06:29.511)
So what was the one thing you liked about this movie?
Chris (06:34.675)
The one thing I liked about this movie.
Luciano (06:35.554)
Yeah, I was gonna say it's already AI. It's already giving more than we asked for.
Matt (06:38.063)
Yeah.
Chris (06:40.499)
I'm trying to give it my 110%. The one thing, so I named a lot of things, but it's by far Marvin's character and his, not just earnest, but his commitment to holding on to his dream of being normal, like his arc, that's what I'll say. I enjoyed his arc. I liked that. It seems genuine in the beginning, middle, and the struggle, and then the end, sure.
That that I liked his arc. Truly I did.
Matt (07:12.165)
I'll allow it. don't have anything to say about that currently. Catch me in a few minutes after we've all given the things we'd like in this movie. I'm going to go next because I told Luciana what mine was and I don't want to steal it from me.
Chris (07:20.293)
Outside? Yeah.
Luciano (07:25.288)
Wow, did you think I would do it? I totally would do it.
Chris (07:27.975)
Y'all see the creative differences already?
Matt (07:28.88)
I do think you would do it because you're a fucking monster. I enjoyed the fight scene between Knuckles and Marvin at the end. think that was pretty fun and pretty well choreographed. It was probably the only fight in the movie that actually like worked for me and made sense other than Knuckles throwing in the, you never beat me in a fight thing just before the fight starts to.
Luciano (07:32.432)
Hahaha!
Chris (07:37.219)
Luciano (07:37.738)
It was a good fun. It was fun, yeah.
Chris (07:49.683)
you
Luciano (07:50.51)
Don't... Positive. Stay positive.
Matt (07:52.679)
Positive, positive, I'm positive I hated that part. the fight, the fight was well done. I enjoyed that. It was a nice climax to the movie. Luciana.
Chris (07:54.555)
Hmm stay up you gotta stay up you
Luciano (07:56.124)
Hahahaha
Luciano (08:02.926)
I just liked Ashley as a character, just the vibe. Like she gave off the actress that was doing it. don't remember her name, but she gave off like, yeah, like Aubrey Plaza vibes, but not, not, not Aubrey Plaza in Parks and Rec, Aubrey Plaza in fucking super bad, where she was like three times as aggressive. and, and I.
Chris (08:07.706)
Mm-hmm.
Matt (08:12.908)
Leo Tipton.
Chris (08:15.091)
Mm-hmm.
Chris (08:26.899)
Hmm.
Luciano (08:31.2)
I it was going to be funnier the thing that she ended up having with Raven. I thought it was a waste of opportunity because it could have been very funny if they did it like in a better way. just her character was a lot of fun. was just every scene she was in was funny. So I really enjoyed it.
Matt (08:47.345)
Yeah. All right. That's good. now we come to the other portion of this podcast where we talk about the movie. The other 40. there's many things to talk about this and I think maybe the starting point for me would be around.
Luciano (08:53.902)
The other 45 minutes.
Chris (08:54.397)
Mm.
part that they that they the guys really want to get into.
Matt (09:13.499)
The idea that they have, I don't know, Russians at the end of the movie?
Chris (09:20.636)
Mm-hmm.
Luciano (09:22.39)
yeah russians
Matt (09:27.023)
Yeah, like, I don't want to tread on some of our questions later on, but it's just, I guess the whole thing is like, the story.
Luciano (09:38.176)
We only hear about the Russians like three quarters in almost, right? When they talk about why like knuckles once rose dead, right?
Matt (09:42.172)
Yes.
Chris (09:42.834)
Hmm.
Matt (09:49.117)
Yeah, I think it's like the story is frustrating. And one thing to note here, I saw this immediately, which I mentioned before we started recording. This is like a, you know, an hour and 35 minute movie. And, and that was the norm in the eighties action movies and they were great, but that is not the norm for a 2025 movie. And it kind of stuck out to me as like, this is probably not going to be great if they chopped it down to an hour and a half and kicked it out the door.
Chris (09:49.371)
Mm-hmm.
Luciano (10:10.988)
So.
Luciano (10:17.268)
Actually, it's a good segue for something that I noticed this movie tried to be a 90s action movie and failed. think this was the main sort of like vibe because even if you like I was like you Chris, I was like, okay, this is an interesting vibe. Dude's a realtor. We knew he was going to fight at some point because the synopsis says it, but I'm like, okay, how is this going to play out? Right. And then from the moment
Chris (10:17.362)
Hmm.
Chris (10:36.562)
Mm-hmm.
Chris (10:42.194)
Mm-hmm.
Luciano (10:45.186)
The Raven appears and the whole scene unfurls. I was like, no, this no, no, no, no, no. And then from the moment he wakes up with the knife stuck in his hand where he didn't even feel it. And then that fight with Raven, but I was like, okay, maybe it's just weird because it's like, he is like rusty and whatever. And then we see the fight in his house. And then I was like, no, no.
Chris (10:52.167)
Mm.
Chris (11:00.997)
Mm-hmm.
Matt (11:11.21)
with King and Otis, Marshawn Lynch and some other dude. Yeah.
Luciano (11:15.182)
Yeah, because that had to me a really like, do you guys, I don't think it was as big as it was in Brazil as here. Or maybe it was big earlier when, when like we were two, you guys were too young. I was too young, but in Brazil came after. Did you guys ever watch Bud Spencer and Terrence Hill movies? Yeah. So it was this.
Chris (11:15.548)
Mm-hmm.
Matt (11:34.863)
Literally never heard of those.
Chris (11:35.666)
It doesn't ring a bell.
Luciano (11:39.022)
Because it was really big in like the late 70s and early 80s, so which means it got to Brazil like later. But it was this like buddy cop, not always cop, buddy cop movie where basically they were like machines of like beating people up, right? Like they could go after like 30 people. then like the classic scene of those movies is they go into a room full of bad guys and like this, you hear slapping going around and people flying off the windows and stuff like that.
Chris (11:45.681)
Okay.
Chris (11:56.178)
Chris (12:07.41)
Yeah
Luciano (12:08.512)
And that's what this movie kind of try to do. The goofy fight scene where like his fighting is trying to keep the the fucking plaque or whatever the certificate safe. And then they stuff him in the window and like all of that. And they stop like they stop to look at stuff and goof around and all of that stuff. And it just doesn't work anymore. You can't like in it. I don't know. I don't know if you could do a movie like that nowadays. You know what mean?
Chris (12:11.772)
Mm-hmm.
Chris (12:17.669)
Hmm.
Chris (12:30.354)
Mmm.
Chris (12:37.806)
Yeah, it's a delicate balance between when I hear you share that, it makes me feel like the equation they were shooting for was like a mix of something we can't identify, slapstick action, then believable too, because like the fight choreography on paper, if you separate, if we just like take that alone, it...
Luciano (12:41.71)
Pfft.
Luciano (12:54.326)
Yeah, it's slapstick action. Exactly. That's exactly what it is. And it doesn't work.
Chris (13:06.221)
makes sense, but then there's a lot of punishment that's going on. Like, Marvin takes a lot of punishment. And then like, what's up with that plot armor.
Luciano (13:12.17)
Yeah, there's also that like you should be dead like a million times over
Matt (13:16.249)
It, I don't, I don't want to get stuck on this thing, but it feels like someone in the studio is like, Hey, just make it like a Jackie Chan movie, like a 90s Jackie Chan movie.
Chris (13:24.818)
Mm-hmm
Luciano (13:27.31)
Yeah, but like Jackie Chan fight scenes never felt forced. Like you stop to make the joke in the middle of the fight, you know what mean?
Matt (13:33.145)
No, no.
Matt (13:38.493)
No, that's why I get stuck on it because it's not an aft comparison, but just that's kind of it feels in the sense of like, you know, when those 90s movies, especially with Jackie Chan, where it was not slapstick, right? It was, it was physical and it was funny, but it wasn't, it wasn't meant to be slapstick. was serious, but it was like, yes. And it wasn't necessarily based around him getting the crap beat out of him. It's him.
Luciano (13:41.186)
Yeah. Yeah.
Luciano (13:52.342)
It was funny, right? It was like, yeah.
Chris (13:58.298)
It was natural, situation based.
Luciano (14:05.172)
No, on the contrary.
Matt (14:05.639)
doing wild and crazy things to keep his balance and keep going. And so the slapstick nature of it's like, it feels bad.
Luciano (14:12.854)
It was the improvisation of it, right? Like you would be running from someone, like grab a ladder and like toss it at someone and like wrap like some cloth around their arm and make one person punch the other. Like to Chris's point, right? Is like the choreography, like it's improv, but it's not like the choreography of those fights is insane, right? Yeah.
Matt (14:15.227)
Yes.
Chris (14:15.462)
Mm-hmm.
Chris (14:26.982)
That's perfect. Improv. That's the thing.
Matt (14:28.604)
Yeah.
Matt (14:33.341)
It's the physicality is interesting, right? Yeah, it's the physicality of like, a while can't believe he managed to keep his balance running across this beam. And then he got the mop kicked up, but he, you know, it almost hit him in the face, but he moved his head and it hit the guy running behind him kind of like, it's like, it's, it's, it's just the fun of how is he going to out of this? Right. And so it's not an apt comparison, but it feels like some studio has like, let's make this action comedy into more of a Jackie Chan thing. And so when you have an action comedy, you need to have the comedy.
Luciano (14:41.837)
Yeah.
Luciano (14:47.693)
Yeah.
Chris (14:51.28)
Yeah.
Matt (15:01.073)
And so I think they try to trade on the idea that Marvin is going to get the crap out of him and that's going to be funny. I don't really understand why that continued so long in the movie. a little bit because you're just like, like you said, he's rusty with the Raven. But like when the guy shows up to his house, it's like these guys like, like they throw him in a fridge, they throw him like powerbomb through a stove. Like the physical toll just doesn't make sense. Yeah.
Luciano (15:10.466)
Yeah, but they don't...
Luciano (15:16.568)
Right.
Chris (15:16.745)
Mm-hmm.
Luciano (15:25.526)
Yeah.
Chris (15:25.852)
They double teamed him, they double tackled him and like spits up blood, like he should have been seeing stars and then they should have had him. Sure.
Luciano (15:32.034)
Dead. Dead. Yeah. And that's also the thing, like, where, like, on both ends, the fight could have ended because someone was, like, ridiculously injured, but they just get up and continue going. And another thing that bothered me is how inconsistent he, like, it's almost like you, it's not that he's good or bad at his job as like an assassin or a fighter, it's whatever the scene thinks it should be. So to me, the best example is the start of this scene at his house, right?
Chris (15:57.458)
you
Luciano (16:02.146)
The two guys, King and whoever the other blonde dude is, Otis, yeah. So they're like, they're trying to kind of surround him, right? So Otis comes in through the back door. He immediately reacts by throwing the thing in the middle of his forehead, right? And it's like, okay, now we're going to get some cool fight scene. And then the very next beat, he turns around and he waits for King to break down the door, take two steps and pistol whip him.
Chris (16:05.765)
Otis, is it?
Matt (16:07.665)
tees.
Matt (16:21.585)
Yeah.
Matt (16:30.095)
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Luciano (16:31.19)
And he does nothing. And I'm like, wait, like it's one or the other. Either he has these like superhuman reflexes from being like, know an assassin for so long, or he's an idiot that waits for some big dude to come in and pistol whippin' in the face. Like it can be both. And it happens, like there are other situations when he's fighting the Raven again, and when they're fighting at the, the fight at the house is like one of the most insane scenes I've ever seen. makes, nothing makes sense in that scene.
Chris (16:41.274)
Master Assassin.
Luciano (17:01.59)
like the the two guys get sliced like they were fucking like holiday turkeys and they still they do like talking i told you bro i told you should take you back bro i fuck you like it's so dumb yeah yeah yeah exactly yeah hey it bleeds into it nice
Matt (17:08.284)
Yeah.
Chris (17:10.215)
You did it. And then slaps him too and they're like, no pain. Like, it's like a cartoon.
Matt (17:21.297)
This bleeds into one of the biggest things I noticed with the movie. Yeah, right? Well, thank you. I'm a professional after all. But it frustrates me because this movie wants to be violent, but has no idea how to use violence. so Raven has these massive blades that he pulls out of his boots and attaches to himself. And he cuts these guys and nothing happens. But then when they kill Samwise, AKA Cliff,
Luciano (17:29.078)
Hahaha!
Chris (17:29.393)
Mm.
Luciano (17:35.681)
Yeah.
Chris (17:43.334)
worst boots.
Matt (17:50.743)
they show the super impervious boba straw jammed into his eye and then like blood draining out of his eye onto the floor and it's like what purpose like I love a violent movie but generally they serve a purpose it's like this is just nonsensical as to when the violence amps up or it doesn't
Luciano (17:55.918)
Hahaha!
Luciano (18:05.475)
Yeah.
Luciano (18:09.516)
Yeah, it feels like it's almost like different people wrote different scenes and they never harmonized them. So like one of the writers was like, yeah, violence and, you know, I don't know, adamantium boba straws. Great. And the other one was like, no, it's going to be funny and blah, blah. Like, you know, at one point...
Chris (18:16.439)
Ooooo
Matt (18:31.197)
Wait, was the other one female? Is that what happened there? You misogynistic son of a bitch.
Chris (18:34.138)
Yeah, what are you doing there? Listen, I was wondering if we get a visit from the Patriarchy today and I'm so appreciative.
Luciano (18:34.451)
No, no, was more- it was a more gentle- it was a more gentle man.
No, no, not today. I was going to be racist, but I will leave it alone.
Matt (18:44.481)
good, yeah, just the patriarchy, that seems better.
Chris (18:44.667)
I'll take the patriarchy.
You know,
Luciano (18:51.384)
Yeah, yeah. No, like it honestly felt like one guy was like a bro wanting to be as violent as he could. And the other one was like, no, I just want to make this funny. And they never harmonized. Yeah.
Chris (19:04.346)
Never the twain shall meet.
Matt (19:05.454)
No. Well, I mean, this is is brings up the question, right? We talked about this a bit in the pre show too. It's like, you know, when they get into the house, sorry, when King and Otis get into Marvin's house, Chris, like they have they beat the shit out of him, but they don't actually like trap him or capture him. I like. Yeah.
Luciano (19:21.187)
Right.
Luciano (19:30.603)
Nope.
Chris (19:31.558)
They had them, they didn't, they had the moment and they didn't, they should have, but like, especially they put him in the fridge. That would have been the end. Like if they wanted to get extract information, like that would have, it would have stopped there and then cut to some warehouse and blah, blah. Tell us what you know. He's trapped. And like, but no, they just continue to beat on him. Correct. Bad writing.
Luciano (19:34.562)
They should have. Yeah.
Matt (19:35.878)
Yeah.
Matt (19:50.045)
But why didn't they?
Luciano (19:53.752)
Well, I think the movie was trying to paint them as like super incompetent, right? But like that wasn't incompetent, that was nonsensical.
Chris (19:58.812)
Sure, sure, sure.
Matt (20:00.999)
They're too competent. Yeah.
Chris (20:04.37)
hubris you might say but yeah incompetent makes a lot of sense
Matt (20:08.379)
I mean, maybe. I mean, just.
Luciano (20:10.86)
Now like he gets his gun stuck, right? King does. And then instead of going, just releasing it and no, he keeps, this is strange.
Chris (20:15.12)
Yeah, and that
Matt (20:21.533)
And to his credit, at least he had the foresight. It took him too long, but at least he tried to grab the knife and pull it out. Like he tried that, but it wasn't enough. He writes just like, why, why holds your arm there for that long? It's like, it's tough. Like, think, I think you could do a couple of these things in a movie and just be like, you're like, okay, fine. It's the movie where you keep stacking them up and you keep layering them. Like if this movie is so violent and there's blood everywhere, like
Luciano (20:28.589)
Yeah.
Luciano (20:35.469)
Yeah.
Chris (20:35.535)
Mm-hmm.
Luciano (20:45.858)
Yeah.
Matt (20:50.801)
Why the fuck does Rose have a taser, a stun gun taser? Yeah. Cause she had no problem grabbing a shotgun and blowing away Merlot at the one. So like, I don't know. I understood it when she, she hit Marvin with it. Cause she obviously doesn't want Marvin to die. But she kept using it. Like even at the scene, you know, at the end in Knuckles's club, she's still tasering guys. I'm like, get a gun.
Chris (20:53.658)
A stun gun teaser. Yeah,
Luciano (21:00.008)
Bless ya
Luciano (21:07.287)
Yeah.
Luciano (21:16.15)
I mean that scene makes no sense, right? No sense. Like there's so much like Otis and King are like blubbering idiots we see, right? But when the realtor guy pops up, a single headshot in the middle of the forehead, right? And then Marv pops up and they shoot like 2000 bullets and not a single one hits him. Like Pickelain movie, come on.
Chris (21:16.486)
Yeah
Matt (21:18.941)
Yeah, you're here to kill this guy like watch a teaser
Chris (21:22.019)
And yo, like, go on, go on.
Chris (21:35.09)
Mm-hmm.
Matt (21:40.786)
Yeah.
Chris (21:41.082)
Yeah. Yeah. And yes. And with Rose and the Taser thing, when they were in the house for sale, right? When they were holed up there, right? Trying to hide. And she takes off her coat or whatever. She's got two guns holstered under her armpits. Never busts them out. So like, I would get it. Like I would have more respect for that final scene where she's like.
Luciano (21:57.485)
Yeah.
Matt (21:59.294)
right?
Chris (22:06.822)
trying to get to them or like she's just like, bam, bam, pow, pow, keep distance, pow, pow, pow, pow, keep distance or whatever. That would show, because clearly she's comfortable with them. So like, why not mix it up? Like make her a badass.
Luciano (22:17.774)
Well, you know, nobody, nobody shoots at Marvin. They're like Marvin goes to rescue her because of course he has to rescue her. Right. And then there's like, kill him. And like literally nobody shoots him. They come at him one by one. They wait until one fight is over before they attack him and all that stuff.
Chris (22:25.425)
Ugh.
Matt (22:26.151)
They're in love.
Chris (22:33.104)
Yeah. Yeah.
Matt (22:34.909)
Classic.
Chris (22:38.736)
Yeah, the mob did not unionize enough in that fight.
Luciano (22:42.176)
And then, you know, the second in command, the other, the Asian dude who doesn't speak, the one who was there when he killed Samwise. Yeah. And then he's like, yeah, I have a shotgun. What? Yeah. Yeah. I think that like, not only was it sort of like all over the place in terms of the story, but like, it didn't know if you want it to be like you said, man.
Chris (22:47.058)
blubber enforcer? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Luciano (23:07.31)
Like is it supposed to be super violent? Is it supposed to be like just goofy and slapstick? Is it supposed to be neither? Is it supposed to be both? I don't... And those are things like if this movie was great and it was like good story and we would not be so stuck on this. It's like yeah whatever movies playing around but it doesn't feel like it was intentional for it to be...
so sort of like black and white in this sense, it feels like it was like incompetence, at least to me.
Matt (23:39.985)
Yes. It was, there was a little too many moving parts for an hour and half movie, right? Like you have Marvin and the mainline story with Rose. And I don't mind the, the, the side story of Marvin still trying to sell that house to the people. Like that's, that's interesting. Yeah. It's funny. And that's like, I think that's good action comedy work there. Yeah. but yeah.
Luciano (23:47.351)
Yeah.
Luciano (23:57.102)
It was actually funny, yeah.
Chris (24:01.968)
Be right back. Which is normal, you would hear that, but then like it felt like it felt okay coming from him.
Luciano (24:03.235)
Yeah.
Matt (24:08.996)
Yeah. But then you have the entire Merlot storyline. Merlot, Kippy, Otis, and King. And that whole thing, like, I understand it's like, because she didn't steal, they stole, but like spending all the time dealing with them just was like boring and kind of was extra confusing. And then, and then you toss in, again, I don't mind the Raven and Ashley thing. I think it's fun, but
Luciano (24:15.0)
Yeah.
Matt (24:35.077)
Now you're, pushing yourself to what's that four storylines in an hour and a half movie. It's a lot to, it's a lot to cover. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. So it's like, it's, it's, it's one too many storylines and I would just chop, you know, Merlot cause he sucked. He was probably the worst actor in the movie by, by a mile. And that's saying something because Marshawn Lynch was a football player. Yeah. I expected more from Daniel Wu to be honest.
Luciano (24:38.698)
Yeah, not connected to each other almost. That's the worst part.
Luciano (24:54.262)
Yeah. Well, Knuckles, Knuckles 2.
Luciano (25:01.517)
Yeah.
Chris (25:03.59)
Daniel Wu as in like Director Daniel Wu or?
Matt (25:06.565)
as an actor, Daniel Wu.
Chris (25:08.591)
actor, thought you meant director, sorry, nevermind, okay.
Matt (25:10.085)
No, no, Daniel was Knuckles.
Luciano (25:12.524)
Yeah. Alvin.
Chris (25:12.549)
Okay, okay, okay. What? Well, yeah, like anyway, what else has Daniel Wu done? my computer is fighting me, which is why I lost my background. I'm afraid to check anything right now. Do any of you know what else he's done? Okay.
Matt (25:23.813)
Yeah, let me look it up here for you. I've got it.
Luciano (25:26.561)
No.
But yeah, when he appeared the first time drinking boba, I actually wrote down, was like, first of all, the first thing I wrote down was like, one guy is called Marvin and the other one is called Knuckles? That was obviously before I heard that it was, but I was like, so is Marvin Sonic or is he Tails? Like what's happening here? But I also wrote down, he's a really bad actor too.
Chris (25:50.682)
Mmm. Mmm.
Matt (25:52.739)
Yes
Matt (25:56.317)
Daniel Wu, you might know him from such places as Gul'dan in the Warcraft movie.
Chris (26:04.057)
really? That's a while back.
Luciano (26:04.078)
no!
Matt (26:08.073)
More likely you would know him Yeah, who didn't His biggest movie was he was in New Police Story in 2004 as Joe Kwan He's done it seems like he's done a lot of Hong Kong or Chinese action films Yeah He was in the TV series into the Badlands of Sunny he was that's he did 32 episodes there
Chris (26:11.12)
I did see that movie though. Okay. Sure.
Luciano (26:12.972)
Yeah, but he was CGI to hell. It was an arc.
Chris (26:23.822)
Okay, I'll have to check him out. Yeah, he's got yeah, yeah.
Luciano (26:24.615)
He can fight for sure.
Chris (26:31.378)
shit, I still need to go into that series. Okay. Really?
Matt (26:35.719)
Tomb Raider as Liu Ren, was in Geostorm as Cheng Long. he's a... He was, you know, here's the thing. don't, it's so many times I don't know if anybody's a bad actor or it's just the script they're given. This one, I don't know if he's a good actor. Like I think he's, from the stuff I've seen him in, I've enjoyed it. This movie just seems like it screwed everybody over. I, listen, I don't want...
Luciano (26:42.496)
Okay. Well, he was really bad in this movie.
Chris (26:44.014)
Alright.
Luciano (26:52.769)
Yeah, yeah.
Chris (26:54.354)
Mm.
Chris (27:02.278)
Hmm.
Matt (27:05.175)
assume that Ariana DeBose who played Rose Carlisle is a bad actor but she is probably bad at picking roles. You might remember her such films as Craven the Hunter and again I don't think that was her fault but stop picking movies that do this to you please.
Chris (27:10.384)
Mm-hmm. Mm.
Chris (27:15.878)
West.
Luciano (27:17.217)
Yeah
Luciano (27:23.17)
But, yeah.
Chris (27:28.082)
Hmm
Luciano (27:28.526)
I'll say this. She has a very limited range of emotions she knows how to display on her face when she's acting. She either looks manic or like dreamy.
Matt (27:42.461)
Sure, neither like both these movies ask her to do relatively the same thing This one made her a bit more manic or crazy But they're essentially the same thing and like it's not it is very like, know You said this is like a 90s action movie Well, they did a great job by making the woman in that 90s action movie do nothing of consequence Which is unfortunate because she could have done a lot more
Chris (27:48.048)
Mm-hmm.
Luciano (27:48.106)
Yeah, that's true.
Luciano (27:58.083)
Yeah.
Luciano (28:02.23)
Yep. She plays chicken with Marv on the passenger seat. That's the most consequential thing she does.
Matt (28:07.323)
Yeah, that's, that's, don't worry, Marv saves his own life. So that means the old Marv is back. Cause
Chris (28:13.106)
She's an Academy Award winner as well and a BAFTA winner too. West Side Story, I think it was? Yeah. Yeah. So she's got chops, but it's the, well, come on. I want to be in America. Time Traveler?
Matt (28:17.35)
for West Side Story. Yeah, The remake, not the original Luciano, just.
Luciano (28:21.55)
I didn't think it was the original. She's like, oh wow, she is very well preserved for a 95 year old or whatever.
Matt (28:32.733)
Great job.
Chris (28:33.914)
Is she the doctor? I'm here for that.
Matt (28:37.597)
Yeah, like I just I wanted more for this movie and it was like I don't want to ruin my scoring at the end But it's one of the hardest movies to get through that I've watched for this podcast or even the previous podcast
Chris (28:40.466)
Hmm.
Chris (28:49.936)
Hmm
Luciano (28:50.976)
Because it's so... like even with the fighting and the violence it's so boring.
Matt (28:56.561)
Yeah, just confusing. And like there's, there's little bits of like gold, but it's surrounded by poop and I don't want to dig through the poop to get to the gold.
Luciano (28:59.085)
Yeah.
Luciano (29:05.678)
Yep.
Matt (29:08.957)
on that very eloquent statement. Let's switch to some fun questions. This should lighten the mood and hopefully give us something better to talk about. doubt it. But let's try. Raven. Raven has, he's kind of supposed to be like Poe, I guess. He's got the poetry shit going on, which was interesting. Like I like the vibe, but his weapons choices are a little bit questionable. You know, like the big blades out of his shoe. Love it. But the darts, they're like,
Luciano (29:17.12)
You won't.
Chris (29:28.603)
Hmm.
Chris (29:33.766)
Hmm.
Chris (29:38.992)
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Matt (29:39.333)
No one else can throw up, but even when he throws them, do nothing?
Luciano (29:42.931)
Yeah, like throwing thumbtacks at people. Yeah.
Matt (29:45.253)
Yeah, and he's got all his other knives are kind of tiny too. So I kind of want to know what like what weapons were on the table to fit this this Edgar Allan Poe esque vibe that he decided not to go as to go with these ones. So like, I don't think Edgar Allan Poe would bring grenades as an example. But you you tell me.
Chris (29:46.554)
Yeah.
Luciano (30:01.774)
Mmm.
Chris (30:02.054)
Yeah.
Chris (30:08.22)
So, like on that table, he had a choice, clearly, like fucking feather darts and the knives, right? But then he was weighing out the possibility, okay, for him that was obvious, but then he felt it would have been too on the nose if he decided to take like hemlock dipped blow darts out of a flute that he would play, that he would serenade his targets and then it's like, here, I wrote a song for you, here it goes.
Luciano (30:17.102)
Yeah, those were the obvious choices, of course.
Matt (30:19.165)
Obviously. Yeah.
Chris (30:38.352)
observations. Huh? Boom!
Luciano (30:41.998)
Yeah, I think another weapon of choice. Not... Yep, yep, yep. Yeah. No, actually I was gonna play on it because I was gonna say I think he also considered the weapon of slam poetry as a weapon of choice.
Chris (30:45.75)
You just, no, just, no, you just right over my corpse and it just stepped right over.
Matt (30:47.153)
He just rolled right over you. Didn't acknowledge it. Yeah.
Chris (30:56.966)
Do it, then do it. Go do you.
Matt (31:02.701)
yeah.
Chris (31:03.025)
Ooh, what does that feel, Larry? Yeah. No, you're right. Okay, you brought it back. You brought it back. It's fine. It's fine.
Matt (31:13.713)
Got some sort of sonic level attack where he snaps his fingers and it like, yeah.
Luciano (31:17.334)
Yeah. no, he's slamming again.
Chris (31:18.106)
Yeah. So he's got gloves or like, he's got like, yeah, you're right, acoustic gloves. What is it made of? Don't know, but like, ting, attacking you with sound. Interesting. That's interesting. What else?
Matt (31:28.263)
Yeah. Yeah.
I think that's...
Luciano (31:31.886)
Probably he considered as well just a helmet that had a beak like a crow or a raven that he would just like pack at people.
Matt (31:40.219)
you mean like the, the old timey medicine masks.
Chris (31:42.062)
Always... Yeah.
Luciano (31:45.038)
Yes! Yes!
Chris (31:46.692)
Is this my birthday? You guys shouldn't have Ashley. And he's like, I have words for you. Pray. Sit.
Matt (31:47.933)
Yeah.
Luciano (31:54.284)
Hahaha!
Yeah.
Luciano (32:01.42)
Yeah.
Matt (32:02.288)
No, those make sense. I can see why he might not go with the mask. Visibility is a low.
Luciano (32:03.789)
Yeah.
Luciano (32:07.67)
Yeah, like peripheral vision, right? Yeah.
Chris (32:08.518)
His trench coat was, hmm. His trench coat felt bloated, like over bloated for the amount of things he had. Was he? Cause it didn't seem to me, but yeah.
Matt (32:10.641)
Yeah.
Luciano (32:15.404)
No, he was just fat. Yeah, I he was a portly in this movie. Let's put it this way.
Matt (32:16.913)
think it's just chubby.
Chris (32:23.462)
That's odd because he was also Luke Cage's nemesis in season two of Luke Cage. But other than that, those boots look really weird.
Luciano (32:29.832)
I remember.
Matt (32:36.467)
it's totally not necessary to carry the big blades in your boots, but...
Luciano (32:40.482)
Well, I can't help but seeing... What's his name from Cowboy Bebop? What's the of the character? Yeah, yeah, yeah, in the live action movie.
Chris (32:41.766)
as opposed to like behind your back and then.
Matt (32:44.092)
Yeah.
Chris (32:52.076)
he played that too in the live action one. Can't remember.
Matt (32:55.771)
He was much better on that. Jet. Yeah.
Luciano (32:58.904)
Black jet, something like that. Yeah, jet, yeah.
Chris (33:02.896)
And like, think of the practicality, like, he has to sit in order to active, like to like equip his knife gauntlet, or he's doing...
Luciano (33:10.508)
Yeah, yeah, it's this the slowest equip. Hold on, sits down crosses his leg. Yeah. What what part of the crow is that? What part of the Raven is that?
Matt (33:13.917)
Yep
Chris (33:15.972)
Uh-huh. I'm about to give you this art, this martial art. Or he has to assume, go ahead.
It's the flamingo raven.
Matt (33:27.011)
it's...
Luciano (33:29.16)
Flamingo, flamingo ravens have blades?
Chris (33:32.23)
The biracial ones do. But look, I'm just saying shit, bro. You can't AI that. Yeah. So you said like which part of the Raven is that? I'm not sure.
Luciano (33:34.038)
What?
Luciano (33:37.45)
What?
Well, challenge accepted.
Matt (33:41.725)
the
Matt (33:50.737)
Well, think, know, first of all, jet black, so Luciano, you're circling around it. Yeah. I think that the Ravens have really sharp claws and well, because he had the little arrows, but I think the...
Luciano (33:55.458)
Yeah, I will certainly around it,
Chris (34:04.998)
Mm-hmm. Ooh.
Luciano (34:05.144)
Then why not claws?
Luciano (34:09.998)
Oh, I see. We're pissing together the lore.
Chris (34:18.674)
would have appreciated that. Or if when he threw it, it made this like weird sound, that would have been nice. Sorry.
Matt (34:22.085)
Yeah. but I think the blade is sort of the, culmination of all the, the Raven, the Raven beak and the Raven claws, although at the same time it's like one big blade. and I assume that having just swords, was too dangerous, to carry around cause he kept sitting down and cutting his back. So that's why he opted for shoe blades that you can't just pull out in a fight easily.
Chris (34:32.498)
Mm.
Luciano (34:41.902)
Hmm.
Luciano (34:47.36)
Q-blades.
Chris (34:50.758)
Yeah, my third vertebrae Marvin, like I just need a moment to just like, it's good to see you Marvin. Let me sit down, you know.
Luciano (34:51.437)
Yeah.
Luciano (34:55.788)
Yeah.
Matt (34:58.781)
Let me stretch it out real quick.
Luciano (34:58.934)
I have to sit down. I need to sit down to equip this because my sciatic is killing me.
Chris (35:01.554)
Ugh!
Matt (35:04.125)
Yeah. All right.
Chris (35:04.467)
Correct, but why? And then there's also the missed opportunity. There's also the missed opportunity. When you have such beautiful hair as Raven's, there was nothing in it. I'm gonna take every opportunity. You touched on the claws, right? But then there's also the similar, and Marvin used it in the kitchen with those steel scrubbers. Raven, the ninja, it was cool.
Luciano (35:29.717)
that was such a cool part of that scene. Yeah.
Chris (35:32.568)
like ninja gear, have like the climbing apparatus like that goes around with like blades and stuff that would have been dope too. So like, what if like Raven was completely disarmed but he's like nah bro, shing and then it's all like it's almost like tiger or maybe claw Raven style. Right? That would have been great.
Matt (35:50.534)
What if?
Luciano (35:51.438)
Imagine if you went like that when he was fighting.
Matt (35:55.101)
And I think it would have made sense that when he shows his little claw things, it's actually pictures of Edgar Allan Poe just to tie it all together.
Chris (35:57.082)
I wrote a soliloquy.
Chris (36:04.306)
yes, yes, I get that. I vibe on that because like if he's revealing it, what if they, what if they like, were like, like almost it was like Assassin's Creed. Sorry, frog in my throat. Where like Assassin's Creed, they triggered the blade. What if, right. But what if Raven, Roger Raven, when he like triggers these claws, he has to pull his sleeves down and he's got the Raven tat. He's got like the pros tatted and maybe the face.
Luciano (36:19.726)
The hidden blade, yeah.
Chris (36:32.722)
on his forearms and he's like, cause like the weird, like that's what I think would be cool. But one weird thing about his fighting style, especially in the house that was for sale was like when he and Marvin were squaring off and then they were like moving through the kitchen, Raven had both his blades and then he was charging. You might pick up on this one, like I describe it. Raven was charging Marvin and he was like,
charging at him with like these, with the blades. Like that was a theme, it happened twice. And it was a little weird, because like if this is happening, Raven can't see what's happening. And so you could just like maybe outside hook or do something like that. And then it happened again, which I appreciated during the Knuckles and Marvin fight where like Marvin's like, you can't see what I'm about to do motherfucker. I appreciate that. That was a bit of a callback to like Bruce Lee era movies.
Luciano (37:09.518)
You can't see. Yeah.
Luciano (37:24.397)
You
Chris (37:28.644)
I will say, huh, huh, or throw something in your face so you can't see so I can get you. I dug that element, but it was confusing in the kitchen. That's all I gonna say.
Matt (37:35.025)
I've decided that Raven's just a bad assassin and he should quit and go into slam poetry.
Chris (37:38.706)
But it's all I know. It's who I am. But we could be creators. We could... I want you here forever. I loved it though. I loved it though. Yeah.
Luciano (37:46.304)
Yeah, yeah, it was so it was so it was so random we could be creators. Yeah, it was so good
Matt (37:53.469)
Speaking of creators and millennials, what did Rose do while she was quote unquote dead? I mean, she was working at a bar, but like she had other stuff going on. What was she doing?
Chris (37:59.538)
you
Chris (38:03.46)
with gun range.
Matt (38:07.408)
Why?
Luciano (38:07.904)
No, with gun range with tasers.
Matt (38:10.545)
You taser range? Yeah.
Chris (38:11.25)
The teaser range. So what you need to do is you need to make sure you make full contact. If you run out of the ammo strings, right? Make sure you go full contact. here's how you talk with your, if you want to extract information, you see, you just dis dis and you get it close and then you get what you want.
Luciano (38:28.812)
Why is it a southern person teaching her?
Matt (38:32.231)
Cause TASER POWER!
Chris (38:32.326)
Don't worry about it. That's right.
Luciano (38:34.158)
literally in this case meanwhile the neighbors are like what the it's the third Thursday in a row where suddenly the power drops it's just shooting the power lines with the fucking taser
Chris (38:37.17)
That's right.
Chris (38:43.388)
Mm-hmm. And it's also, see...
Chris (38:49.135)
Most tasers are rechargeable. You would think that lithium ion is a reliable power source, but if you buy now, I'll throw in an AC powered taser that you can plug in, but I can't guarantee it'll, it won't knock your, I won't guarantee that it won't knock your power grid out. Like you're about to blow a fuse or four.
Luciano (39:02.894)
Ha
An AC power taser, good lord!
Matt (39:05.917)
Not even.
Matt (39:13.019)
Not even, you know, USB-C or something, just straight AC. Yeah, straight on the mains. That's fair.
Luciano (39:16.352)
No, no. Straight on the mains. That's what happened in Texas that year where it went...
Chris (39:16.485)
Nah, we can't.
teaser. True teaser pair.
Matt (39:22.673)
This does seem like working with this Taze of Power gentlemen would take up most of Rose's time, free time over the last like two or three years to really. then. No. Yeah.
Chris (39:32.786)
Cause she's not a weapons master, so to speak. Like she's getting training and she's smart, used to be a lawyer and she was putting the pieces together, but like.
Luciano (39:34.583)
Yeah.
Luciano (39:39.094)
Wait, she's yeah, she used to be a lawyer in this too Just like it was like the least lawyer of all the lawyers I forgot about that. Yeah, she was a lawyer in craven, too
Matt (39:42.139)
Yeah, which makes no sense. Yeah. So.
Chris (39:44.024)
OOOH SHIT OOOH
Matt (39:49.437)
So what I assume she also took some remedial like art classes or maybe like scrapbooking classes in order to get her like, yeah, calligraphy to send the notes and to like to make the valentines and have her like little little Pepe Silvia wall where she had all the plans wrapped together.
Chris (39:56.946)
Calligraphy too, remember?
Luciano (40:00.38)
yeah.
Chris (40:05.894)
Yes, Oregon.
Luciano (40:07.234)
yeah, she took a course with that dude from the meme where he's like, you know, the one from with the strings that he took. She took a course with that guy. Clearly.
Matt (40:10.525)
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Yeah. Yeah.
Chris (40:16.474)
And I'm pretty sure she also, yes, and I also believe she might've dabbled in some origami because there was some three dimension to, there's some three dimension to within each card. And I was like, that's crafted. She must, did she have those like locked and loaded? Like this was all part of her plan? She like, carefully, carefully.
Luciano (40:25.614)
yeah, that's true.
Matt (40:27.453)
Mm-hmm. Yep.
Matt (40:33.947)
Yeah, she cared. Yeah, she cared.
Luciano (40:35.286)
She went to a high intensity hallmark course.
Chris (40:38.546)
A two day, what is it? A two day weekend sprint. Chorus, intensive. shoot.
Luciano (40:44.023)
Yeah.
Matt (40:44.337)
Yeah. Just, okay. No, I think we've nailed that. Yeah. Hey. Yeah. No, we're letting you go. I want to talk about Marvin. So Marvin quits or Marvin, the sequence of events in the movie is told is that Marvin takes on the job to kill Rose. And then once that's complete, his brother lets him retire from.
Luciano (40:48.59)
I think that makes sense.
Chris (40:48.946)
no!
Also, there's one, but there's, okay, I'll let it go, but there's one more thing she could have done, but I can let it go. Got it. Okay.
Luciano (41:12.194)
Quit, yeah.
Matt (41:13.159)
from being an assassin and lead a normal life. And then I'll never really explain why. But so Marvin goes into real estate and he loves it. That's a big theme of the movie. But like he didn't just pick real estate off the hop, right? Like what else did he try before? Yeah, yeah. So what else did he try before he got to being a real estate agent?
Chris (41:14.94)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Chris (41:21.754)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Luciano (41:27.054)
Impossible that that was the first one for sure
Luciano (41:33.038)
Mmm.
Chris (41:33.106)
It's a definite journey of introspection and I would say iteration. we all know that he tried the barista thing. like, cause latte art is like that instant joy. It's like, okay, I've got this. I wonder what the reaction is gonna be when I reveal the portrait of themselves that are in the laundry. Here we go.
Matt (41:42.513)
Had to. That's the first thing, right?
Luciano (41:43.113)
for sure. Yeah.
Matt (41:53.861)
Yeah. And like all true monsters who get coffee, you don't acknowledge it and immediately pull out the lid on it and walk off. So that's got to be soul crushing, right? Yeah. Yeah.
Luciano (42:01.294)
You immediately put a lid on. Yeah. Yeah.
Chris (42:03.538)
That's how you go. It's too hot. I told you was supposed to be 94 degrees. What is this? Make it again.
Luciano (42:08.142)
I asked for oat milk. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Matt (42:11.821)
Yeah, yeah. There's no joy. Well, I mean, I mean any,
Luciano (42:15.434)
wait, so this was at Starbucks that he worked, because that's...
Chris (42:21.234)
Until Starbucks chooses to sponsor this podcast, they're gonna get these hands. They're gonna get these hands. Yeah. Nah. Yeah. Cup, button, button, money? Money? Yeah, I could make a latte with button four, two, and eight. Anyways.
Luciano (42:27.977)
Hahaha!
Matt (42:29.277)
It certainly wasn't at Tim Hortons. Fuck that place.
Luciano (42:32.866)
They don't have baristas, come on. You have to serve coffee to have baristas.
Matt (42:34.621)
They... They... Money please! They make lattes somehow. Anyways, let's not get into that.
Luciano (42:42.498)
Yeah. Yeah.
Matt (42:47.549)
Yeah, but it tastes like shit. okay, so barista, obvious choice and no joy there. No making people happy. I feel like dog walking was also an option.
Luciano (42:52.28)
That was the first one for sure, like... No.
Chris (42:52.316)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Aww.
Luciano (42:58.326)
I think he tried to, he tried to, cause like there's a lot of people that do dog walking. I think he was like, I'm going to be different. I'm going to find my niche and my niche is going to be cat walking.
Chris (43:02.834)
Mm.
Matt (43:06.011)
Right. smart. Yeah. And that's the reason why that's not a niche. Yeah. So that didn't go anywhere.
Chris (43:06.034)
Luciano (43:09.708)
Yeah, exactly.
Chris (43:12.227)
Yeah, it crashed and burned spectacularly.
Luciano (43:14.956)
Yeah. And then, but he liked the theme. So he went from that to actually modeling so he could catwalk. Right. Yeah.
Chris (43:21.842)
yes, cook, Queen Cook.
Matt (43:22.651)
Right. Yeah.
Luciano (43:27.086)
He didn't cook, so...
Matt (43:27.639)
he, he definitely, he didn't go into, to any, like anything to do with like the assassin business, like self-defense security. Cause he wanted to like, and he wanted to find his passion, right? You want to find like service. You want to give back to the world.
Chris (43:29.85)
Well, yeah, yeah, he's too rugged, but maybe not rugged enough.
Luciano (43:38.996)
No, that would be too obvious and yeah.
Chris (43:45.074)
Mm-hmm. So what about, if, what if, okay. Okay, that's, yeah, that gives a sense of peace and craft and creation versus destruction. Perhaps he, go, sorry.
Luciano (43:50.424)
Candle making was there for sure. Scented candles.
Matt (43:59.623)
Did he? I was going say, did he have a sourdough that he started to...
Luciano (44:04.622)
No, only during COVID.
Matt (44:06.589)
I want you to make up my day, that's fair.
Chris (44:10.49)
Is it possible he might have also done some rehabilitation work with burn victims who've lost one leg?
Luciano (44:19.475)
no.
Chris (44:22.439)
You can do it, Jared. Jared, you can do it, Jared. Just hold the bars one step at a time.
Matt (44:24.055)
It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. Just don't. Just don't do it. okay. No, I think I think that's good because I don't want to be here anymore.
Chris (44:33.81)
You
Luciano (44:35.362)
But how did he get from the last one to Realtor? Yeah. Yeah.
Chris (44:37.654)
Right, what was the final straw before? Like what was the aha moment I wonder? Hmm.
Matt (44:42.385)
He went back to being a barista because it was the only job that paid him enough. normally this is supposed to be funny, but I'm going to tinge with a bit of seriousness. He runs into Ashley at being a Starbucks worker. And Ashley, after having a meltdown because her coffee isn't correct, he didn't make it. They get to talking and she's like, well, if you want to work in a soul crushing industry where no one gives a shit about you, you should try to be a real estate agent.
Chris (44:45.778)
Mm.
Luciano (44:48.258)
Hmm
Chris (44:48.626)
Mmm.
Chris (45:12.179)
well. then, and then did she and I guess she like brokered the deal. Sorry, the broker, the intro to Cliff.
Luciano (45:20.226)
Yeah, I thought you were gonna say he fucked up Cliff's coffee. And that was the whole thing.
Matt (45:24.079)
No. No, no, no. He's very good at his job because he's very... he cares. But no one gave a shit. That's the problem. Yeah. Yeah. No. Yeah, exactly.
Luciano (45:29.654)
Right, Yeah, we saw him baking cookies. He would not mess up coffee for sure.
Chris (45:35.273)
my gosh, how did we skip over, how did we miss over Baker?
Luciano (45:38.358)
Yeah, that's he probably had an Etsy. He had an Etsy shop.
Matt (45:39.565)
I said the sourdough, what do want from me? Yeah. Yeah. That's, yeah, that's why I failed. It was not the right avenue for baked goods. By the time they got anywhere, they were stale. Stale, stale, stale. Next, moving on, questions. Hey, we're going to talk about knuckles. Who knuckles? Why knuckles? How knuckles? When knuckles? Where knuckles?
Chris (45:42.034)
You that's good and see shop with baked goods I'm just double checking Stay out soul. Mm moldy
Luciano (45:46.752)
Yes. Yeah.
Luciano (45:54.423)
Yeah.
Luciano (46:01.71)
know.
Chris (46:01.906)
The Chaos Emeralds, yes. Every time I hear that name, I can't help but default to Sonic the Hedgehog 3 and the attachment, Sonic 3 and the Knuckles attachment, which was fire. Anyways, Knuckles, yeah. Where does one begin? He wears a lot of ascots.
Luciano (46:06.7)
Yeah.
Luciano (46:11.881)
Me too. Immediately.
Matt (46:22.013)
So like, well what's his business? What's this, what's, is he like, is he trying to take down fucking Fred from Scooby-Doo?
Luciano (46:24.076)
Yes, he does. What's the deal with Knuckles?
Luciano (46:33.538)
What was this carve?
Matt (46:35.761)
Yeah, his neckerchief like
Luciano (46:38.911)
Neckerchief.
Chris (46:39.548)
Merlot, neck accessory seems to be such a theme in this movie. Merlot has that dumb neck tie as well. Anyways, yeah, it's a thing, sadly.
Matt (46:46.222)
yeah.
Luciano (46:47.879)
yeah! Maybe their gang is called the Tie Gang or the Neck Gang.
Matt (46:54.375)
Tie game feels a little racist, sir.
Chris (46:55.122)
OOOOH
Luciano (46:57.522)
Why? That wasn't... That wasn't... You said it! You did! I didn't go there. They were wearing ties!
Chris (46:58.938)
You're two for two so far, sir.
Matt (47:02.269)
I didn't say it.
Chris (47:05.847)
You concocted it and your execution and elocution, sir, definitely, you did. You, you, you, but you said tie gang. Well, still, well, still, still, still, bro.
Luciano (47:08.972)
Now fuck both of you.
Matt (47:09.327)
You... You call them the Thai gang. I didn't do shit.
Luciano (47:14.774)
That's not the Thai I was mentioning! It's not my first language, okay?
Matt (47:16.413)
Wow
Matt (47:24.324)
Fine still Who but yeah, so like what like Knuckles is a businessman who at the beginning of the movie feels like he's like the number one guy in town and at the end of the movie like he's just a bitch for the Russians the whole time like
Chris (47:29.094)
Yes, his deal. Yeah.
Chris (47:36.838)
Yeah.
Luciano (47:39.638)
Yes. Yeah. He also is just like. Yeah, and I miss you. was like, if you steal from Knuckles, you die. Not really.
Chris (47:41.048)
Yeah, what a fall.
Matt (47:42.993)
But he had like 5 million dollars to steal and not miss?
Matt (47:49.667)
yeah. One person and they didn't even die.
Luciano (47:53.57)
Yeah.
Chris (47:56.018)
Yeah?
Luciano (47:56.588)
Well, no, because it was Rosa killed Merlot. Not him. So no, not even then. Yeah, I think I think he's like, you know, like Tony Soprano had this aspiration of being a big time like five families, New York mafioso. But it was just some dumb shit from New Jersey.
Matt (48:02.289)
Wow. Yeah. Well, no. OK. No.
Chris (48:08.127)
So he's totally off brand, Knuckles, go on.
Matt (48:23.549)
Yep.
Luciano (48:24.502)
I think it was the same vibe, like he thought of himself as this big triad gangster, but he was like, not that at all. Just like you said, just a bitch for the Russians and just throwing his weight around because, you know, he was the biggest fish in the small pond where he was.
Matt (48:34.779)
Yeah.
Matt (48:45.341)
Apparently I was, I just looked this up because I had no idea, but that's supposed to be Milwaukee, Wisconsin.
Chris (48:51.856)
I did see the Wisconsin license plates. So I was like.
Luciano (48:52.182)
Well, that explains that. I am the biggest gangster in Milwaukee.
Matt (48:54.066)
Yeah.
I think I think it's no I think it's better though because it's that the AI don't trust AI but Instead of filming in Milwaukee, they use Winnipeg as the stand did So he's the biggest gangster Winnipeg, Manitoba
Chris (48:58.204)
Put some respect on my name.
Chris (49:11.859)
That would make so much sense because part of me was like, this had to have been filmed in Canada. It looks really good. But then how do you factor one of the property brothers in? That's a Canadian reference that you just, that can't just be glossed over. Like it was that, that wasn't just kismet. This was, this was pretty meditated. Definite. So it was filmed in Winnipeg, Aha. Good. Thank you.
Luciano (49:11.938)
Nice.
Luciano (49:29.442)
Yeah.
But even so, he's sat in Milwaukee, he's like, he's a huge gangster in fucking Milwaukee. Like, who gives a shit?
Matt (49:38.909)
Mm-hmm the outskirts of Milwaukee because we never fucking going downtown as far as I can tell
Chris (49:39.238)
Yeah, that's hilarious.
Luciano (49:42.926)
True, that's true, he's always in the suburbs. I was kidding with the Tony Soprano thing, but he is. He's the Tony Soprano of Milwaukee. How pathetic is that?
Matt (49:50.149)
Yep. All right. Yeah, that's real bad. Yeah.
Chris (49:52.604)
Damn, damn. So that's his deal. And then how, I don't even know how big Milwaukee is, but then is it divvied up across, between the different gangs, like the Russians and I guess, but think it, sure. Probably cheese is money, bro. So I got you, got you. But like, like it.
Luciano (50:03.118)
What what gangs this is Wisconsin what do they what do they do cheese?
Matt (50:12.743)
This guy has got you there.
Luciano (50:15.802)
Man's got a point.
Chris (50:19.378)
The thing about it maybe it was just because of the movie and the story itself, but like, from beginning to end, Knuckles is the guy air quotes, big air quotes. He's the guy. But then based on like, when we get to the end and Rose like reveals that she said it all, like she put it all together. It made me feel like the Russians were always within striking distance. And in my mind, it made me feel cause I wasn't, I don't really understand the geography of Milwaukee, but like it made me feel that the Russians
Matt (50:26.523)
Yep. Yep.
Luciano (50:27.393)
A lot of them, yeah.
Chris (50:49.487)
And it just made me feel like there were other presences in this city. there was it. And it was, it's, I just felt a little not confused, like disappointed. No, no, I'm just trying to formulate it. Right. It's, it was off putting because well, if it's Milwaukee, Wisconsin, and the, were the Russians just like waiting for the call and hanging out on the outskirts and like out outskirts.
Luciano (51:02.806)
You're sounding confused now.
Hahaha
Chris (51:18.706)
It's just like, as we break it down, feels weird to me. Sounds weird. They had a footing, they had a presence,
Luciano (51:19.628)
No, the opposite. It's the opposite. The Russians were downtown.
Matt (51:21.477)
I think they were in Milwaukee, proper.
Luciano (51:27.629)
Yeah.
Matt (51:28.221)
Well, I think the, listen, I don't want to get too far into this movie, but the Russians run Milwaukee and Knuckles had a footing in the suburbs. And so he dealt with them because they didn't feel like they want to come up to the suburbs. They just let them have it, but they had a deal going. then anyways, blah, blah, blah, roses thing. Milwaukee has about 580,000 people, give or take. so a huge, huge market to be working out.
Chris (51:31.878)
Sure.
Chris (51:44.771)
Yeah
Chris (51:52.466)
It's a lot of drugs apparently or something. What do they even push? Like what do they even push?
Matt (51:53.711)
It sure is.
Matt (51:57.734)
Hey man, this is my podcast and even though you're quitting, you don't get to ask questions.
Luciano (51:57.934)
Bree, Bree.
Chris (52:00.05)
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Yeah. I hear you.
Matt (52:06.481)
but cocaine. next, next question. Hey, Chet and Sherry, Chet and Sherry are the couple that are trying to buy the house that gets destroyed by all the hit men or assassins. Don't worry Spencer, it's fine. and I want to know why Chet and Sherry deserve to have the house destroyed.
Luciano (52:08.738)
Hahaha!
Chris (52:08.805)
Huh!
Chris (52:16.816)
Yes, thank you. I'm like, whoo. Yes. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Yeah.
Chris (52:28.828)
muffins.
Luciano (52:30.89)
Well, for one, she hugged the fucking washing machine. think that's enough of reason, but it was very...
Matt (52:36.55)
Yeah.
Chris (52:38.268)
That was odd. And then why would Chet, yeah, why would Chet assume that the chair was coming or not? why would it, if you don't like the chair, man, just throw it out. Why, like, I'm not feeling the chair. Can we, can we, I'd like to negotiate a this isn't right.
Matt (52:54.429)
Admittedly, I haven't bought a house, but my understanding is that in most cases, you bring your own fucking furniture.
Luciano (53:03.508)
Yeah, and if you don't like the furniture that comes with the house, it's yours, you fucking sell it.
Chris (53:03.932)
Correct.
Matt (53:09.521)
Yeah, it's your, yeah.
Chris (53:10.483)
And usually, because I've done, I've gone through this a few times like over my life and with my family and stuff, houses and condos and whatever, they're staged. So when you like, what you're buying is just a version to give you a sense of what it would feel like. like, it's very dumb. So like, I don't like, like weird, weird.
Matt (53:20.337)
Yes.
Luciano (53:21.239)
Yeah.
Luciano (53:25.547)
Yeah.
Luciano (53:30.926)
They deserve it because they're dumb.
Matt (53:35.293)
They're the patriarchy.
Chris (53:37.95)
They deserve to have their house shot up and destroyed because they are the Starbucks customers that want you to make the drink at the perfect pre-indicated temperature with only two milligrams of cinnamon. I said two, I said two. I don't want this and I'm not paying for it. Why?
Matt (53:46.333)
oooo
Matt (53:51.441)
Yes.
Matt (53:58.129)
Yeah. Sherry could taste when it was 2.1 milligrams.
Luciano (53:58.915)
Yeah.
Luciano (54:03.31)
Yeah.
Are you trying to poison me? Yeah, exactly. Yeah.
Chris (54:07.602)
Why?
Matt (54:09.245)
Jet can you believe this guy?
Chris (54:13.982)
They're trying to hurt me. What are you gonna do about it? Well, honey, mean, can't, what do you, I can't, I can't just, you know, I didn't want, honey, I'm still sitting. You know my legs. Yeah,
Luciano (54:23.054)
I'm not feeling this chair either, I don't know what to do. Yeah. Yeah.
Matt (54:29.085)
Okay He's on the phone with her he's on the phone with her cuz he's still at the house sitting in a chair. I hate this chair. I can't get out
Chris (54:36.434)
my god, yeah they they they monsters
Matt (54:43.869)
Definitely deserted. Hey, quick question. I'm curious if this movie would be any different if, I don't know, say we change the title to The Real Estate Agent and it starred Jason Statham.
Luciano (54:44.077)
Yeah.
Luciano (54:59.63)
Jason's Tatum is the real- the realtor. He will set you up with the halls alright.
Matt (55:04.685)
Yeah, the realtor. Yeah.
Chris (55:05.298)
Ciao!
I thought I told y'all to be quiet.
Luciano (55:11.434)
Yeah, yeah it was, was. You just have to call someone a fit bird and you're done.
Matt (55:11.709)
That's pretty good, actually.
Chris (55:18.822)
You expect, I lost it, I lost it. You expect me to say this house. But I don't have, if I had to, if I figured out like there's only so much improv juice I've got and I used it up there. Cause I was trying to think of like, would that conversation be? Like it's got great line.
Matt (55:20.721)
Yeah, you had it.
Luciano (55:20.992)
Yeah, I know.
Luciano (55:26.83)
No, I mean, it's like...
Matt (55:33.949)
Bye.
Luciano (55:38.71)
I thought I was out. I thought I was out. But bravo. I'll be back in. I know. I lost it in the second word. Yeah.
Matt (55:44.017)
That's worse. Don't try it again. Don't try again. You're immediately gone. It's fine. You know, that's fine. Let's answer the question and stop with the accent. Do ourselves a favor.
Chris (55:44.474)
Mmm.
Chris (55:50.288)
It's a gas stove.
Chris (55:55.378)
Yes. Okay, so it'd be high octane. I give it that.
Luciano (55:56.344)
So let's see.
Luciano (56:04.046)
I'll tell you what, Otis and King would not have left that fucking house alive. That's the first thing. He would have, the next people that got that house would open the fridge and there would be two heads in the fucking freezer. That's what would have happened, first of all.
Matt (56:04.125)
Yeah
Matt (56:10.343)
No.
Chris (56:10.908)
true.
Matt (56:19.077)
Yeah. Raven, Ashley and Raven would never been a thing because Raven. Yeah. Yeah.
Chris (56:19.154)
true. Yeah.
Luciano (56:23.746)
Well no, because you would have killed that raven. Here. I hear you like poetry, love. Here. The book full of blood. Not again! Yeah.
Chris (56:24.058)
No, sadly not. No, no. They would have had to rearrange the sequence of events.
Chris (56:34.89)
Merked, gosh darn. they actually want it, like yeah, if this movie was still released on Valentine's Day, the realtor or the real estate agent, they would have to pick a lane. And so if it was released, but it was high octane and like everybody who steps to stay with him dies, that would be one lane. it, cause sometimes he's capable of like, he can tone it down if they slotted the alternate for Valentine's Day.
Matt (56:38.706)
Yeah.
Chris (57:04.515)
I would have had to rearrange everything and Ashley and Raven like, Statham would have to have clocked that earlier. Raven would have had to have been stalking and like, cause Statham would have known that he's coming anyway.
Matt (57:15.377)
No, no, I've got this. I've got this for you, Chris. First of all, he's sort of quote unquote best friend in the movie is is Ashley, right?
Chris (57:18.78)
Go for it.
Chris (57:25.202)
Or is it Cliff? Go on though.
Luciano (57:25.667)
Yeah.
Matt (57:26.525)
Wow.
Luciano (57:28.078)
She will be kidnapped
Matt (57:31.081)
Or I was thinking the rock is Ashley. No.
Luciano (57:35.586)
The Rock would be Raven, no Raven would be The Rock. And then Ryan Reynolds would be Ashley.
Chris (57:39.538)
Is that what you're saying? Who is the Raven going to be?
Chris (57:45.232)
I'm here for that too. But what did you meet? What did you?
Matt (57:46.279)
and then Roses Gal Gadot.
Luciano (57:49.044)
No, sure, yeah, why not? Sure,
Chris (57:51.164)
Take your pick.
Matt (57:51.825)
Yeah, fine. Okay. yeah, there you go. It works. Don't think too hard about it. Okay. So then, yeah.
Chris (57:53.754)
Mmm. Huh.
Luciano (57:58.702)
no, hold on, hold on. Hold on. We have to change the brother too because there's no way that Knuckles can be Jason Statham's brother.
Chris (57:59.108)
No, no, just, just, I let it marinate and I'm feeling it.
Chris (58:07.006)
I know who.
Matt (58:09.019)
Yes, that's fair. Yeah. Chris?
Chris (58:11.234)
damn, was gonna, okay, so then I need more time. wait, I see him in my head, Scott Adkins.
Matt (58:15.974)
Okay.
Matt (58:21.281)
We Atkins.
Chris (58:22.502)
You've seen him everywhere. You've seen him everywhere.
Luciano (58:25.55)
I was gonna say Guy Ritchie, please, his brother.
Matt (58:28.184)
I know who you're talking about.
Chris (58:29.266)
We want something okay, but like Okay
Luciano (58:31.086)
Because then Guy Ritchie can direct and this would be a completely different movie.
Matt (58:32.994)
Scott. Scott Atkins was the dude in in the fat suit and john look for.
Chris (58:40.06)
correct. Scott add and not just because of that. Adkins has got moves for days. He's been in action, dude, for years. That would be a great pairing. That would be that would be fire. In my humble opinion.
Luciano (58:40.878)
Matt (58:47.175)
Yeah.
Matt (58:54.971)
And what about if we got Luke Evans to play his brother once again?
Luciano (58:55.34)
Mm.
Chris (58:59.57)
well, sure. But then Statham would have to hold back. But Evans does have is a better actor.
Matt (59:03.453)
Yeah, why not? Why?
Matt (59:12.209)
Listen, if they're good enough to be brothers, then Fast and the Furious franchise is good enough to be brothers here.
Luciano (59:17.957)
So hoopla and
Chris (59:18.0)
You've seen them before, siblings in the Fast and Furious. Come watch Statham sell a house and try to escape the clutches of his brother Knuckles, played by Luke Evans. The man can't stop drinking matcha lattes.
Matt (59:20.242)
Right.
Luciano (59:31.47)
No, no. Yeah, I was going to say it can be boba. It has to be something else. London Fogs.
Chris (59:34.066)
Yeah.
Matt (59:35.549)
But what comes with a latte? Oh, and he gets them from Starbucks. And they used to have those little inserts to keep it from spilling. But his is sharpened to a point.
Luciano (59:44.812)
Yeah.
No, no, it's the lid. Like he takes the lid off and he peels it and then it's like a throwing disc or something.
Matt (59:49.179)
Somehow.
Matt (59:56.551)
Sure, yeah, that makes as much sense as a boba straw, being able to kill people. All right, no.
Luciano (01:00:01.408)
Yeah, and who did we say Rose is going to be Gal Gadot?
Matt (01:00:04.766)
yeah. If the rock is Ashley and the Raven is Ron Reynolds.
Chris (01:00:08.082)
I don't know, feel like sure.
Luciano (01:00:12.398)
It's the opposite but okay, actually let's go with yours, it's fine.
Matt (01:00:17.373)
And then it's really just there's there's no comedy And Jason Statham is in love with himself Sure, right around scaring the comedy and then if it's love hurts then Jason's
Luciano (01:00:25.166)
Yeah, okay. Well Ryan Reynolds can bring the comedy.
Luciano (01:00:36.362)
I mean, it's not called the love hurts anymore. It's the realtor.
Matt (01:00:39.415)
it's right. It's called the realtor. Yeah, it's a realtor. Yeah, it's really good. We're shifting genres. Yeah. So really. And so the victims in this movie are Chet and Sherry. They are killed or murdered by Luke Evans and instantly. And that's why Jason Statham goes to work on taking taking them down.
Chris (01:00:40.133)
mortgages sting. Oh, it's the realtor. Okay, nevermind. You're right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. True.
Luciano (01:00:45.154)
Yeah.
Luciano (01:00:52.875)
Instantly, instantly.
Luciano (01:00:57.582)
because it was like, you took my sail away, you bastard. All I wanted... All I wanted was a quiet life. You took that away from me.
Chris (01:01:01.658)
That's right. I was trying to sell this house.
Matt (01:01:02.203)
Yeah.
Matt (01:01:05.883)
Yeah, like in the beat, it's perfect. The beatkeeper, they stole the money from that nice old lady and then she killed herself. And then a working man, they kidnap his employer's daughter. So you gotta have something to bring the heart of gold out of the.
Chris (01:01:08.112)
Yeah
Chris (01:01:15.043)
Mm-hmm. Mm. Killed herself.
Luciano (01:01:22.894)
You gotta do a fucking home alone adult version on the fucking elevator. Yeah. Yeah. I watched this movie too, actually.
Matt (01:01:28.025)
Yeah. Yeah, exactly. You get it. Okay. Love it. I'd watch this movie. Yeah.
Chris (01:01:34.81)
You can't not watch it. like Statham is trying to execute on every menial job and turn it into a banger. And he has still need to see the working man.
Luciano (01:01:42.592)
Yeah. Next one is going to be Jason Statham is the barista. And then he fights with starbucks straws, not even boba straws. Those are not even sharpened.
Chris (01:01:49.265)
Mm-hmm.
Matt (01:01:50.748)
I've watched it.
Matt (01:01:56.283)
Though their paper. Paper straws. Kills a lot of people with the paper straw. Okay. Listen, I think... one more question. This is important. This is the last question. What happened to Raven and Ashley after the movie ends? What's the next day for them look like? Does their relationship last six weeks, six months, six years?
Luciano (01:01:58.178)
Yeah, and he somehow makes it work.
Chris (01:02:01.906)
They don't fuck around with that one.
Chris (01:02:08.844)
Mm. Mm.
Luciano (01:02:10.157)
Hmm.
Chris (01:02:16.505)
Mmmmm
Luciano (01:02:21.294)
Hmm
Chris (01:02:24.346)
I think there's go ahead. what did they cover?
Luciano (01:02:24.459)
I think they start a YouTube channel.
Matt (01:02:26.534)
Okay?
Luciano (01:02:28.654)
So poetry for sure. They do live reaction of slam poetry reads on Twitch. Yeah, exactly. Comment down and go, mm, sleigh. Yeah.
Chris (01:02:31.364)
Yeah, sure.
Matt (01:02:37.191)
Sure, perfect. Talking over the slam phone.
Chris (01:02:37.761)
and
Matt (01:02:45.873)
Yeah, so it's it's Ash and Raven. That's the name of the channel.
Chris (01:02:46.96)
What did you think about that Roger? Well, it's it.
Luciano (01:02:50.484)
Ash, yeah, right. No, they call themselves like, know, when two people like they portmanteau their name, it's Raven Ash. That's the name of his of his
Chris (01:02:58.259)
that's a darling. And then they, and then they have a red bubble sticker account and they, and they, they also are trying to generate like dual income, right? Like you have to have multiple streams, right? Over red bubble or Etsy, what have you. And, that way Raven can still execute his own, like make sure that his, creative chops are, are, are, are going flowing and then like putting on some merch and then
Matt (01:02:59.293)
Can we do better?
Matt (01:03:09.563)
Yeah. Yeah.
Luciano (01:03:09.998)
Yeah, they have merch. They have merch for sure.
Luciano (01:03:24.023)
Well...
Chris (01:03:26.524)
their dream, like they're enjoying this, like they're getting out there and rebranding and like immersing like Raven to like shuffle off the previous persona. And Ashley, I believe Ashley feels that like if he makes this process part physical, like, cause like it's, this is creating content, right? But like, if your hands are not in something, pottery studio.
Matt (01:03:49.831)
Sorry, his hands aren't in Ashley. I just want them clear. That's fair. Yeah. Well, no, no, but I think, I think you're right. Like they start with this like Twitch channel covering slam poetry and they try to create this persona.
Luciano (01:03:51.726)
No, not on camera. At least not until they created an OnlyFans account. Yeah.
Chris (01:03:52.944)
Well, no, I meant like to help him rehabilitate. Well, shit. I didn't say that.
Chris (01:04:06.13)
Mm.
Luciano (01:04:07.116)
Yeah, and they do that the whole you know poet reacts to you know, mean
Chris (01:04:08.774)
Yeah. What's rehab?
Matt (01:04:11.227)
Yeah, yeah, yeah, but the problem is that no one gives a shit and so eventually they just turned to OnlyFans to make ends meet.
Luciano (01:04:14.795)
Yeah.
Chris (01:04:15.37)
Mm. He's, The Ed's dip meat? Then he's like... Yeah.
Luciano (01:04:17.869)
Yeah.
Luciano (01:04:21.698)
The ends meet like a motherfucker.
Matt (01:04:22.738)
Hehehe... Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Luciano (01:04:27.15)
Yeah, yeah, that's it. And then they create each a channel of, know, like an OnlyFans account for each. And then they collab with each other as if it wasn't a thing already. Yeah. You don't want to know.
Matt (01:04:37.714)
Yeah.
Matt (01:04:42.737)
It's a...
Chris (01:04:43.278)
What do they do separately?
Luciano (01:04:49.422)
yeah, ASMR poetry. no.
Chris (01:04:49.829)
so it's ASMR, it's OnlyFans ASMR.
Let's see. Observations while I sit on the toilet. I'm struggling. I can't. I struggling between what I was and what I must do. The choices I've made haunt me and I have no more toilet paper.
Luciano (01:04:59.394)
Yeah.
Luciano (01:05:12.472)
Bloop! Yeah, that was it. Yeah, with one of those microphones that has like the two sides where you can change. Yeah, One inside the toilet. One inside the toilet. Yeah.
Chris (01:05:19.742)
no, yes, correct. Cause you need an immersive, huh?
Matt (01:05:24.975)
I really enjoy that on Chris's last answer, we managed to bring both sex and shit that poop into the answer to cover all our bases. Yeah, we got to hit all of our target markets.
Luciano (01:05:30.254)
Yeah,
Chris (01:05:36.668)
Sexy potty humor for the W.
Luciano (01:05:42.254)
Markets.
Chris (01:05:44.146)
It's a sphere of synesthesia.
Matt (01:05:47.395)
It really is. I'm having a synesthesia seizure by talking about this shit. All right. We come to the final. You're welcome. We come to the final part of our podcast. We are going to give a review for this movie. S is the highest F is the lowest. You know how it works. Chris, would you like to go first or last?
Luciano (01:05:51.464)
Yeah, as soon as t-shirt. All right. On that lovely note.
Chris (01:05:55.314)
Team up, high five. The best transition ever, yeah.
Chris (01:06:13.07)
I we're a team, I don't have to go last, but now, let's use-
Matt (01:06:14.907)
You're going to go last. Spence or Luciano, go first.
Luciano (01:06:16.526)
wow, why did I ever do to you? Listen, I'll take a lot of abuse, but that's going too far. Okay. So yeah, this movie was a disappointment if I've ever seen one. I went in wanting to like it. I'm a fan of action comedy when it's well done. So I was, you know.
Matt (01:06:26.189)
I apologize, that is too far.
Matt (01:06:41.437)
Sure.
Luciano (01:06:43.79)
I'm not going to say cautiously optimistic because I saw the ratings before we watched it. But I was like, maybe, you know, because like the audience car isn't as bad. So thought, maybe, you know, critics are spending their own farts or whatever. No, they were not. This is really like sad. And it's a whole lot of nothing like it's it's a movie with comedy and fighting and violence that manages to be boring, which is I it's a sort of an achievement in it on its own.
Chris (01:06:48.095)
Matt (01:07:11.239)
Suppressive, yep.
Chris (01:07:12.371)
Yeah, yeah.
Luciano (01:07:13.582)
It's not the achievement you want, but it's the achievement you deserve.
Matt (01:07:17.455)
Absolutely not.
Chris (01:07:18.162)
It's the achievement they attained.
Luciano (01:07:19.79)
Exactly. you know, even I was gonna say even with the good part. What good parts? No, this isn't E. It's just not an F because it's like it's not like egregiously bad. It's not like offensively bad. It's just bad. So E one mile and a half back. Basically, that's that's the feeling.
Matt (01:07:40.977)
Yeah, that's fair. I echo the score. I think it's an E for me. There are some parts that are fun. Like I think the action parts are fun and, you know, Marvin or a key, Hugh Ick-Kwan is like, he's good. He, like Chris said, he's trying to do the best he can as the movie implodes around him. So for me, it's an E. I can't recommend watching this at all. in fact, if you've watched it, I'm sorry. I didn't make it. I'm just apologizing.
on behalf of them. Yeah.
Luciano (01:08:10.382)
for humanity in general.
Chris (01:08:10.502)
You didn't make it? Did you, did you, you said you didn't, wait, when you say you didn't make it, what does that mean? Like you didn't, you didn't, you didn't.
Matt (01:08:15.023)
Yeah, it means what it means.
Luciano (01:08:17.102)
He means he didn't make the movie doesn't mean he's he died watching it. That's not what he meant
Chris (01:08:22.876)
thought he meant I didn't finish the movie for a second.
Matt (01:08:24.953)
No, I watched the movies unlike people on this podcast to double, triple time them. Or Chris. Chris, your review, your final, well, not final, your semi-final retirement review, sabbatical retirement.
Luciano (01:08:25.558)
No.
Yeah, who do you think he is? Spencer? Or Chris?
Chris (01:08:32.219)
I did watch it.
Mm-hmm.
Chris (01:08:39.345)
Yeah.
Battle Royale time and yes, I guess yeah this movie. Okay. So yeah, I hear everything you guys are saying and
I don't disagree with what you guys are saying, but for me, my experience was a little bit different actually. Like most movies that land in February are rarely amazing, rarely. I can't think of the ones because I don't have the stats and I don't want to crash my computer looking for them. But like this movie, I enjoyed it. I was actually like feeling a little bad about coming here to shit on it, but like all the flaws aside,
The one thing that rang true for me that I found myself immersed in was Marvin's love for Rose and then the blurriness of their scenario or would be romance. And I was rooting for them. then all the other things, oops, sorry, hit my microphone, all the other things that surrounded that, yeah, there was tons to pick at. So I think that I agree with and that's where I realign with y'all. So for me, based on
like Marvin and Rose and like their journey and then Marvin's like arc that I enjoyed. For me, it's a C. I would watch it. Well, good. You're welcome.
Luciano (01:09:56.302)
I fucking knew it.
Chaos review, chaos review with Chris.
Matt (01:10:04.527)
I've always enjoyed how you get Matt Chris for ranking movies based on his own system. Like that's illegal. You should have fallen in line with the rest of the public.
Chris (01:10:04.711)
You're welcome.
Luciano (01:10:09.3)
Yes. It's illegal. Wait, that's illegal?
Chris (01:10:15.248)
Well, sir, you can't do anything about it, because that's my rating.
Luciano (01:10:17.102)
I know, and I'm the one writing it down.
Matt (01:10:18.267)
Yes we can. We can do something about it. You know what? I know you said this is your last podcast and you're right. You're fired. Yeah.
Luciano (01:10:24.295)
You can't quit, you're fired! You can't quit, you're fired!
Chris (01:10:26.546)
But I already, I already sabbatical over tired. But I already, I already, yeah, yeah. I'll let y'all have that.
Matt (01:10:33.519)
I'm gonna edit this podcast, I'm gonna go back and you're gonna say, I'm fired from this podcast instead of I'm quit. It'll sound great. it'll be me saying it, but. Yeah.
Chris (01:10:38.38)
I don't know.
Ha!
Luciano (01:10:42.764)
Like just the worst cut of all time.
Chris (01:10:46.994)
Just like in Steve Jobs, so what, you're just gonna fire me? No, I already...
Matt (01:10:53.277)
Yeah, so that is love hurts next week Spencer hopefully returns we are gonna watch havoc the 2025 Netflix release For those of you who don't know I believe
Luciano (01:11:05.485)
with what's his face? The Australian guy? Yeah, Tom Hardy. Isn't he? Is he? I don't know, I can never understand what he says, so.
Chris (01:11:09.053)
He's not Australian. Correct. English. Yeah.
Matt (01:11:11.323)
He's fucking English. No, he's English.
Jesus. Yeah, it's Jesus. No, he's English. Gareth Evans is the writer and director of this movie. So hopefully it's...
Luciano (01:11:17.718)
I it was Australian for real. I thought it was Australian. Like seriously did. I wasn't even making fun.
Chris (01:11:18.086)
Whataboyboyboyboyboy Whataboyboyboyboy
Chris (01:11:27.608)
Ooh, and he did the raid, didn't he? I'm happy for you. I'm just noticing and recognizing the name, I believe he did the raid, didn't he? Dope.
Luciano (01:11:29.63)
you don't get to oo because you're not coming back to watch it with us. Fuck you.
Matt (01:11:37.127)
He did, yep.
Luciano (01:11:37.91)
I hear it wasn't this one also with kind of shitty reviews or am I mistaken? Yeah.
Matt (01:11:41.767)
Havoc? I don't know man. Who knows what the internet hates everything.
Chris (01:11:43.12)
I try not to look at reviews, but y'all like to. Y'all have fun. Tune in, folks.
Luciano (01:11:47.118)
True. True.
Matt (01:11:49.405)
Right? Like IMDB. a look. Tune in other people. Chris, you have to continue listening to this podcast, even though you're not. I should just start listening to it now that you're not on it.
Luciano (01:11:58.186)
Yeah, please don't unsubscribe. We don't have enough subscribers.
Chris (01:12:00.69)
Cut to me in bed before I go to sleep scrolling. I didn't say it. I didn't say it. I'm not going to do that. What happened to our metrics? No, no, I wouldn't do that. I'm curious to see what you guys are going to what your observations will be on Havoc and future episode.
Luciano (01:12:09.261)
and subscribe. Oh no! We lost 25 % of our subscribers!
Matt (01:12:09.605)
unsubscribe.
Matt (01:12:22.013)
This is, this is fascinating because this is one of the rare movies where the critics have a gated of a 66 and the public gave it a 37.
Luciano (01:12:33.038)
wow, I think this is the first one of that kind that we do.
Matt (01:12:37.086)
Yeah, generally the critics hate something and the public loves it, so I'm very excited to see what happens here.
Chris (01:12:41.272)
Strange. The twilight of is this the twilight of Tom Hardy? How could that be?
Luciano (01:12:41.462)
Yeah.
Luciano (01:12:47.682)
The twilight of Tom Hearth... It might be the dusk? Or maybe the dawn of Tom Hardy because he's in the dark for a while. Have you seen Venom?
Matt (01:12:47.869)
And all I know is, well, we'll see.
This is...
Chris (01:12:58.77)
That's all the French.
Matt (01:12:59.613)
We'll see how this goes. All right, try this next time. Havoc 2025 Netflix release. Hopefully it's not shit.
Luciano (01:13:07.95)
BWAH!
Matt (01:13:09.116)
Bye.
