We Watched "Rebel Moon - Part Two: The Scargiver"
Matt (00:01.138)
Hello, welcome to the main event. We are here talking about a movie on the podcast that is called Popcorn and Plot Holes.
Luciano (00:12.118)
Hey, he made it. He did it. Sure.
Matt (00:14.478)
I'm doing something different. It's Rebel Moon Part 2 of The Scargiver, aka Curse of Santana, aka Curse of Zack Snyder.
spencer (00:19.328)
Woohoohoohoo!
Luciano (00:23.146)
Yeah, well, yeah. Weird the cursed ones, but yes.
Matt (00:28.13)
mapping. With us as always Luciano.
Luciano (00:31.499)
UGH! Please no!
Matt (00:35.086)
You chose this. Spencer.
spencer (00:37.088)
Rebel moon, rebel moon, everybody, rebel moon, rebel moon.
Luciano (00:39.883)
hahahaha
Matt (00:42.446)
Revo moon Revo and other Chris has joined us once again Okay other Matt aka Matt General Grievous
matthew w (00:48.834)
Yes, indeed. Secondary Chris.
General Grievous, or whatever the guy's name was.
spencer (00:54.068)
Yeah, Other Chris suspiciously was unavailable to watch Rebel Moon Part 2, The Scargaver. How convenient! Yeah. He's like, I have to go do things.
Luciano (00:56.794)
Hahaha
Luciano (01:02.123)
Yeah.
Matt (01:02.39)
Yeah. He's ducking it.
matthew w (01:04.074)
I called him out on that one too. Yeah.
Luciano (01:05.921)
Yeah.
Luciano (01:09.938)
Yeah, I
Matt (01:11.218)
Oh, he pulled the, what is that? I have to return to my home planet. Poochie died on the way back, yeah.
matthew w (01:11.467)
Yeah
spencer (01:13.708)
all. Yeah, exactly.
Luciano (01:15.818)
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
spencer (01:19.189)
My people need me.
Luciano (01:21.038)
He's the smart one, let's be honest.
Matt (01:22.687)
Yes. So...
spencer (01:23.091)
Yeah, he's the true winner of this podcast.
matthew w (01:23.724)
end
Matt (01:27.766)
Let's waste no more time. We did in fact watch Rebel Moon Part 2 of The Scargiver. A Zack Snyder joint. I have to put this joint on Cursed- This cursed- this cursedy joint on Zack Snyder. He directed it, he wrote it, he may have started it to some degree, I can't tell.
Luciano (01:33.23)
The Curse of Santana.
spencer (01:35.953)
Buckle your seatbelts.
Luciano (01:37.902)
Yeah.
spencer (01:41.752)
Just to play on that.
Luciano (01:43.704)
Yes.
He defecated on top of it, yes.
spencer (01:50.46)
Nightmare joint rotation.
matthew w (01:50.643)
Hehe
Matt (01:51.014)
Let's... Normally, we start with something we like to do in this movie. And so, I'm going to start with this.
I don't want to hate you Zack Snyder. I think you have some really fun ideas. And I think some of the visuals you employ are really cool. And I'll stop there because I'm being positive. But there's a humongous butt coming in the very near future. Yeah.
spencer (02:00.861)
Me neither.
Luciano (02:10.5)
Hahaha! That's the most... Yeah, I was gonna say the most pregnant butt in the history of time!
spencer (02:11.479)
Hehehehehehe
matthew w (02:17.984)
Hehe
Matt (02:19.01)
Would you guys like to share something else positive that you saw?
spencer (02:22.288)
I have, I knew there's a moment of this movie that I was like, I knew exactly. I'm like, Oh, this is my positive point right here. And it was, uh, when they were sliding down the ship fighting. That was cool and different. And I liked it. I appreciated it. And cause the other, most of the fighting in this movie, I was kind of. I don't want to say falling asleep, but, but my eyes were like glazing. Um, but that was like, I was like, Oh, that's cool.
Matt (02:35.822)
Yep. Yeah.
Luciano (02:45.786)
But falling asleep. Ha ha
matthew w (02:45.926)
Mm.
spencer (02:52.52)
And I'm with you, Matt. I don't want to not like you, Zack Snyder. If you listen to our shows, you know I like Zack Snyder. I've been a long time Zack Snyder, what's the, apology. I wasn't gonna say apologist, but I would say that's apt. And this movie made me think that maybe, just maybe I was wrong and the world was right. Because I was like, oh.
Luciano (03:02.118)
Apologist
Matt (03:07.903)
haha
Matt (03:17.823)
Ha ha ha!
spencer (03:20.956)
This is what happens when you've when he's given free rein. And I was like, oh, it almost was like, maybe I don't want to see the Justice League trilogy. You know, maybe this was for the best. But sorry, this is the positive. I like when they slid and fought with swords.
Luciano (03:22.318)
This is why... Yeah.
matthew w (03:31.394)
Oh lord.
Matt (03:39.846)
Great job.
spencer (03:41.019)
Thank you.
matthew w (03:41.272)
Awesome.
Matt (03:43.479)
Other Crisp Matt?
matthew w (03:45.966)
Uh, hmm. I... I liked the singing at the... at the long house. I'm trying to look through my notes here to find something. That was... Yeah, it was... It was nice.
Luciano (03:56.699)
Wait, are you... what? Are you...
spencer (03:59.052)
Did you really?
Matt (04:00.694)
No, they sang when they had the meal. Yeah.
spencer (04:02.538)
Yeah.
Luciano (04:02.562)
Yeah, they did sing. That was, I wanted to jump out of my skin with cringe.
Matt (04:08.774)
Well, hey, it's Matt's, yeah, it's Matt's positive scene. We don't give a fuck about yours. You get your own time, Luciano.
matthew w (04:08.842)
No, I liked it because nothing else was happening. Yeah, I thought it was wonderful, mostly because nothing else was happening, and that was nice. I also liked that it was over, and I didn't have to watch it ever again. I think that was a nice one, too.
Luciano (04:11.162)
Fair fair
spencer (04:28.444)
No, that's where you're wrong. We're watching it again right now. Turn on your TV. It's already up. A live reaction.
matthew w (04:31.171)
Hahahaha
Luciano (04:33.358)
Surprise! Yeah.
Matt (04:34.122)
Yeah, this is actually we're changing the name of the podcast or podcast popcorn plot holes to rebel moon over and over again.
Luciano (04:44.218)
Yeah.
matthew w (04:45.662)
Oh my god. Yeah!
spencer (04:46.816)
Haha, Rebel Moon the lifestyle.
Luciano (04:47.078)
Do I have to find something I liked?
Matt (04:47.673)
Oh.
spencer (04:50.708)
Yes, you crank. No, we can't.
Matt (04:51.039)
You can abstain from the question, but we're not gonna let you... Okay, answer nice.
Luciano (04:52.766)
Ah... Okay, fine. At least Gunner's dead. There.
Matt (05:01.852)
Okay.
spencer (05:01.952)
Which one's Gunner?
Matt (05:05.089)
Fair enough. We're moving on. That was well done.
Luciano (05:05.143)
Nice. There you go.
spencer (05:06.786)
That wasn't a joke.
matthew w (05:07.999)
Yeah.
Matt (05:09.69)
He's like the other- he's the main dude that hangs out with, uh, Cora.
Luciano (05:11.299)
Yeah.
spencer (05:11.916)
Oh, the girl. Yeah, yeah, the love interest. Yep.
matthew w (05:13.002)
Yeah, he's like her love interest.
Luciano (05:16.734)
Yeah, he was like, at least he's dead and won't be on the third movie. There.
Matt (05:16.838)
He's the... He's the surrogate for the... Us, for the audience.
spencer (05:19.605)
Like when they were-
Yeah, I recall. He's the grain farmer, which does not narrow it down. I remember when like when it seemed just to jump ahead for one second, when it seemed like Nemesis died, maybe she survived. And then Gunner died. I was like, Oh, I don't mind these people dying because they're not like that interesting and they're not like my favorite people. And then I was like, as long as. And I was like, trying to think of someone else. I'm like, as long as someone else doesn't die. And I was like, Robo Hopkins.
Matt (05:27.184)
Mm-hmm.
Luciano (05:28.966)
Hahaha
matthew w (05:29.791)
Yeah.
Luciano (05:46.471)
Yeah, I was thinking the same way.
Luciano (05:52.138)
Yeah, for sure. I would riot. I would riot if Robo Druid dies.
matthew w (05:52.494)
No.
spencer (05:53.494)
Like, as long as Robo-Hofkins doesn't die, I'm good.
matthew w (05:56.109)
Yeah.
matthew w (06:00.106)
Yeah, the Lector Bot.
Luciano (06:02.809)
Yeah.
spencer (06:02.812)
Yeah, I think I was more upset when the guy who played Cyborg died in the first movie. When Ray Fisher... I was more upset about him dying for some reason than anyone in this.
Matt (06:11.692)
Ray Fisher
matthew w (06:16.206)
Wait, he was in the first movie? Who was he?
spencer (06:18.816)
He was in this movie for one scene too. He was the guy with the dreadlocks.
Matt (06:21.092)
Yeah. Yeah, he's um, Blood, Admiral Commander Blood.
Luciano (06:25.394)
Oh, were you upset? I was so bored when he died in the first movie. I was like, I don't care about this guy
spencer (06:30.132)
I wasn't upset. It's not well, it's not a they're not good movies, but I would like to say like I felt worse for him because he was like dying for soldiers and they're just starting this rebellion or whatever. And then in this one, I was just like, ah, let's get it over with. Kill me instead.
Luciano (06:38.045)
Ah, gotcha. Yeah.
Luciano (06:45.262)
Hahaha!
matthew w (06:47.37)
Hehe
Matt (06:47.882)
Take me. He was Darien Bloodaxe and then his sister shows up at the end of the movie for no reason. Devra Bloodaxe. That's his sister. Let's, let's, we gotta, okay, let's do it. Spoiler alert everybody. We do reviews at the end of this movie. You don't know our specific letter, but I tell you you're gonna know immediately that it's not good.
Luciano (06:48.986)
Yeah, yeah, kill me instead! Hehe
spencer (06:49.503)
Take me, please!
matthew w (06:54.464)
Hmm
matthew w (06:58.855)
Oh! Right!
Luciano (07:00.332)
Yeah.
Luciano (07:16.358)
Hahaha!
Matt (07:17.974)
And it's not good for so many reasons. And I think the spot I want to talk about at a high level is. Okay. Yeah.
spencer (07:24.228)
I know what you're gonna say, Matt. I know what you're gonna say. Your main complaint, not enough grain. It's...
Luciano (07:30.707)
Yeah, the now yeah, let's do an um actually for how far me actually works now, I'm kidding
Matt (07:32.075)
It could have used more.
Matt (07:38.858)
No, the real question is related to Grain in the sense that this is, was supposed to be Zack Snyder's Star Wars answer. And I just want to know why a movie or a set of movies are supposed to be a grand space opera lived on one entire planet for the entire story and talked about Grain and really focused on not even a planet, it focused on one tiny village.
spencer (07:59.512)
I...
They talked about grain so much. They talked about grain.
Luciano (08:05.526)
Yeah, it's not even a planet. It's just a moon and it's just one village in that moon. That's it. Yeah.
spencer (08:12.484)
They really doubled down on the grain in this movie. Like, I thought the grain was like, the inciting, you know, like, like just an inciting, like, piece of storytelling. Yeah, like, like just to get the whole story going. And no, they go, they go hard. There's actually a line I wrote down in the movie that I believe Titus said, grain is our most powerful weapon.
Luciano (08:19.938)
Yeah.
Matt (08:23.078)
That's the sex Spencer.
Luciano (08:38.866)
Yeah, he did. He does say that. Fucking, fucking the worst general in the history of space and time. Yeah. I think, I think Matt, when, uh, Zack Snyder said he was going to be his star Wars, he was referring to his favorite part of star Wars, which is moisture farm farming in Tatooine. That's the party. Or at least we didn't get any racist trade federation yet.
spencer (08:40.853)
When he said that I literally started laughing
So they really went all in on that.
matthew w (08:48.702)
Yeah, I was wondering about that too.
Matt (09:02.926)
In the Trade Federation?
Matt (09:08.221)
That's fair. Get.
matthew w (09:09.164)
Mmm.
spencer (09:09.548)
Give us- Give it time!
Luciano (09:09.758)
Yeah, yeah, give it time. Yeah, I don't, you can tell there are grains of like interesting ideas in there, but it's... I said what I said, but it's so like overwhelmed by like his, his smelling his own farts that it's like...
spencer (09:13.824)
But it.
Matt (09:22.49)
I'm sorry, did you just say grains of interesting ideas? Well done, sir.
spencer (09:23.172)
Fuck you.
matthew w (09:25.015)
Hahaha
spencer (09:28.002)
Heh.
Luciano (09:39.162)
Well, that and trying to be Warhammer, right? We've talked about this last time. You weren't here, Matt. Other Matt, other Chris, I don't know what to call you. But like, this is trying so hard to be a Warhammer 40,000 and failing like with the masks and all the weirdness and all that shit. I don't know. I think it's almost like he needed a Lawrence Kasdan of his own, you know what I mean?
matthew w (09:53.803)
Mmm.
spencer (10:03.5)
for sure. He needs a co-writer. We've gone through this before. Zack Snyder needs an editor and a writer and he really should be lim-
Luciano (10:10.986)
And someone to fucking cut his fingers off if he ever touches a slow motion machine again Fuck the fucking slow motion. Yeah, it's a machine it's No, this one this one does slow motion had a slow motion inside itself like where it becomes even slower It's slowception yeah
spencer (10:17.576)
Listen, a slow motion machine. Plug in the slow motion machine.
matthew w (10:17.824)
Hmm
Matt (10:23.329)
You didn't like the grain porn? You didn't jack off to all the slow motion grain farming?
spencer (10:25.196)
Yeah.
spencer (10:33.701)
It's slowception.
Yeah, the grain stuff was dragged out so much. I think it was like 30 minutes of grain talking, grain cutting. But that's like really probably my main issue with the movie is this movie is the climax to the last movie. Just dragged out for two hours.
matthew w (10:42.111)
Mm.
I'm sorry.
Luciano (10:46.43)
Yeah, no, the first half of the movie, yeah, and making flour. Yeah.
matthew w (10:50.694)
good old hard work and watching them farm it.
matthew w (11:03.361)
Mm.
Luciano (11:06.548)
and boring.
spencer (11:06.772)
Because really, it really, if you, if you just step back and look at it, it's just one battle. The entire movie, the first act is them planning to defend their planet. And then the second act is them defending their planet. And the third act is them winning in their defense of their planet.
Luciano (11:12.714)
Yeah, yeah. It's this, this.
Matt (11:15.147)
This is.
matthew w (11:26.386)
I love that.
Luciano (11:27.62)
This plot is like three flashbacks in a trench coat. That's what it is.
matthew w (11:31.262)
I just, I love it. One long climax that is just incredibly boring. I feel like we're married to Zack Snyder at this point. We're just.
spencer (11:31.444)
Ha ha ha!
spencer (11:37.376)
Sounds like, yeah, I was gonna say, sounds like my sex life.
Luciano (11:37.87)
HAHAHAHA
Matt (11:39.122)
to uh, Matt, just I like where you're headed, but I want to tweak it slightly. It's not a climax. It's a more like they're edging you and then they've ruined your orgasm at the very end.
matthew w (11:49.082)
Yes. Yes! And then you just really just win it. And incidentally, I would like to be referred to as Mathias Bloodstache. Because I'm pretty sure I'm gonna die at the end of this. And then my sister will show up.
Luciano (11:49.545)
Yeah.
spencer (11:51.208)
They're gooning.
Matt (11:53.218)
Yeah. Okay.
Matt (11:59.326)
Alright, that's blessed as it is.
Luciano (11:59.442)
Okay, you would fit in this movie. Yeah.
spencer (12:08.641)
You sound like a more interesting character than all the ones in this film.
matthew w (12:12.526)
Exactly. Oh my god, green.
spencer (12:14.604)
But I would say, I would, my god, grain. I would say that is like my biggest issue with this movie as a whole. Is it-
matthew w (12:18.83)
Pfft.
Luciano (12:24.174)
And the worst part of the grain thing is that in the end, it doesn't even matter. Because they like, you know, I just, yeah. I, I did what I did. I did. And I said what I said, because like, they were like, Oh, you know what? Fuck this. Just explode it. We'll find grain somewhere else or whatever.
spencer (12:29.216)
In the end, it doesn't even matter.
spencer (12:41.204)
Yeah, I wish he was just like, it's fucking grain! Who cares?
matthew w (12:41.702)
And that was like their whole plan.
Luciano (12:45.303)
Yeah, yeah, who knew novel liked bread so much I don't know
spencer (12:50.836)
I mean, yeah, like it would be one thing if they were like making like if this was like a fucking Mad Max style future where food is so valuable, it's like the currency of their universe, then yes, I would understand grain being like gold. But it
Luciano (13:02.752)
Yeah.
matthew w (13:03.051)
Mmm.
Luciano (13:06.318)
Or if it was like a system super hard to reach, that it didn't have a space vagina to get there by. And then like going there is super taxing and then they need something like that. And not just fucking grain, like more food. Not just...
matthew w (13:14.968)
Hmm
matthew w (13:20.682)
I really feel like I was...
spencer (13:23.188)
more food and don't make the planet like 10 huts with 30 people make it like an industrial planet of grain like collecting yeah like it should be like that's
matthew w (13:24.918)
Yeah.
matthew w (13:29.16)
I
Luciano (13:30.465)
Yeah, like an Alderaan kind of thing. Yeah, yeah.
matthew w (13:33.678)
I feel like I was robbed a bit of the lack of space vaginas. Because I didn't see any of this. And I mean, I feel like that was what was missing from this. Cora? Did we?
Luciano (13:36.195)
Why?
spencer (13:38.749)
Yeah, yeah.
Luciano (13:40.611)
Well, there's just exactly one, so...
spencer (13:43.756)
Should we, we should explain to our audience that, Mathias Bloodstache only watched part two. And if he, if he was a bit confused by anything, do not blame him. He did not have to suffer part one because he wasn't on this, our podcast the first time.
matthew w (13:49.709)
Yes.
Luciano (13:51.051)
What? Yeah.
Luciano (14:01.23)
Well, we suffered plot part one and we were still confused, so I don't think it's...
matthew w (14:01.611)
Yes.
spencer (14:05.52)
Yeah. And we didn't and we were kind enough not to say you have to watch the first one.
Matt (14:06.514)
to.
Luciano (14:10.7)
Yeah.
matthew w (14:11.097)
And incidentally, being confused seems like it's par for the course for the entire cast. I don't think anyone knew where they were, what they were doing, who they were talking to.
Luciano (14:16.379)
Yeah
Matt (14:20.022)
No.
spencer (14:20.41)
Nemesis is like, so what do I do with my hands? Like, ah, we'll fix it and post. We'll see you out here.
matthew w (14:24.659)
Hahaha!
Luciano (14:25.758)
Yeah, no that that's a good point cuz it's like so she has mechanical like cybernetic hands How did that happen? Oh was it a like a freak accident? Why should no she cut them off herself, but what?
Matt (14:25.8)
What are these things?
matthew w (14:38.23)
Yeah, why? I'm still gonna get that.
Matt (14:40.514)
So this actually brings me to a real question. Korra, when she gets onto the dreadnought, she picks up one of the blue swords, and they call them by names, I think. It is not important. But...
Luciano (14:44.389)
Okay.
Luciano (14:51.578)
Right.
Luciano (14:55.582)
Sabres.
Matt (14:57.219)
No, no, very different. Very, very different, sir.
spencer (14:59.595)
No, no, they're very, very different from a lightsaber. They don't go, wow.
Matt (15:04.798)
Yeah. And she picks one up but like it burns her hands. And so are we to believe that the people who wield these all have robo hands because a human hand can't touch them? Right.
Luciano (15:09.518)
He burns her hand? Yeah.
Luciano (15:20.29)
Well, they're wearing gloves all the time.
spencer (15:23.316)
Yeah, that's what I just assumed they were in gloves, but were they inferring that everyone has to cut off their hands to use laser swords? Because that's actually cooler. No.
Luciano (15:25.438)
Yeah. No, no, I don't think so. I don't think so. Yeah. But I don't think it, I think they just have like very, everybody that uses this and has, has oven mitts on and that's it.
Matt (15:29.264)
I don't know.
matthew w (15:32.63)
Yeah.
spencer (15:38.684)
I actually like they would be way cooler if it was like no glove can stop the heat. It's so strong. So they have to have metal hands. laser I was gonna say laser hands, mechanical hands
Matt (15:51.93)
Sure.
matthew w (15:52.19)
laser hands would have been cool.
Luciano (15:52.356)
It would be very Warhammer 40k if they did that. Like... Yeah. Might as well go the full shebang and have the dreadnought be powered by the tears of a child or something.
matthew w (15:56.631)
Mmm.
Matt (15:57.19)
I mean, sure, they're already stealing the bad parts.
spencer (15:59.744)
Hehehehe
Matt (16:02.734)
And so this leads to
Matt (16:09.198)
So this is an excellent segue because I really have a question about this. I understand that when you're doing future tech, there are some value in showing present tech in the future because it's gritty, a la like having guns that have bullets still and that's used all over in space operas because it's like, yeah, that's gritty and cool, but also it makes sense because human tech has gotten to a spot where we're really good at killing things with bullets. We don't need to go past, but he does the opposite.
Luciano (16:24.588)
Right.
Matt (16:39.422)
When he, all of, like the, to fire the cannons, they have like World War II era dials to aim it in. And then they show...
Luciano (16:45.982)
Oh my god, don't get me fucking started on that. It took 15 minutes to aim that fucking thing.
matthew w (16:47.926)
Hehe
Matt (16:52.802)
right and then they show that they're shoveling coal to power a fucking spaceship and it's like we have better technology today to fly spaceships than coal
matthew w (16:57.451)
Yeah.
spencer (16:57.452)
Hehehe
Luciano (17:01.135)
Now, today.
matthew w (17:02.578)
Yeah. That reminded me of what the spaceships even look like. They kind of look like, I don't know, like a ceramic slow cooker. It looked like a slow cooker with like engines, like something you'd buy at a pottery barn or find in a knickknack shop somewhere.
spencer (17:02.772)
Hehehehehehe
spencer (17:19.157)
And what do slow cookers run on? Coal.
Luciano (17:21.742)
There you go. Full circle.
Matt (17:22.418)
Goal.
matthew w (17:22.446)
Exactly. That also explains why they couldn't get away very quickly.
spencer (17:23.754)
Everyone knows that.
Matt (17:25.894)
Bro and-
I guess, yeah, there's no speed. Um, but like, just to be clear, we use rocket fuel because of the gravity and the effort it takes to escape the atmosphere, and you're telling me they can just shell enough coal to escape the atmosphere from a planet? Are we doing this wrong?
spencer (17:44.681)
enough coal you can do anything.
Luciano (17:46.425)
The worst part is they're shoveling coal, presumably to the engines or whatever, right, to keep shit running. But then they also have like a reactor powered laser with a face on it. So like I don't understand. Oh yeah.
Matt (17:53.945)
I assume.
matthew w (18:01.571)
Mmm.
Matt (18:03.499)
Okay, maybe we got it wrong. Is the, yeah, is the call just to power like the elevators and the face? It's purely to...
matthew w (18:11.342)
face. The power of the face.
spencer (18:12.512)
No, the, no, the coal.
Luciano (18:13.558)
Well, the elevators do have the panoptic sort of hatches like the olden elevators did. So maybe.
spencer (18:24.904)
Listen, the coal powers the nuclear reactor that powers
Luciano (18:30.694)
the nu- nuclear, the nuclear reactor.
matthew w (18:30.786)
Mmm.
spencer (18:33.632)
nuclear. It's pronounced nuclear. So yeah, the coal keeps the no, they feed the coal. Listen, that's because they have a strict workout regimen. Listen, they want to stay one and they want a strong team. Everybody has to do mandatory Bowflex in everyone's quarters.
Matt (18:34.213)
Yeah, it keeps the water cool.
Luciano (18:37.267)
Yeah, well, with coal for sure.
matthew w (18:40.806)
I figured the coal just powered the abs. Like everyone in here was like a six pack. That's because they're shoveling coal every day.
Matt (18:48.484)
Ha ha.
matthew w (18:59.522)
Hahaha
Luciano (19:00.771)
haha
spencer (19:03.628)
So, and then that's it. You feed the coal to the giant face and it eats the coal.
Luciano (19:04.603)
Yeah.
matthew w (19:04.751)
Uh... Nah.
Luciano (19:07.986)
Also, like on the, on that same vein, like they have, when they were harvesting the grain, they have like floating, like the things where they put stuff on is like floating, like hovering technology, the card, but they're still like using sites.
Matt (19:20.666)
The cart. Yep.
spencer (19:22.528)
That's the future!
Matt (19:25.942)
No, no man, they explain that in the first movie. They do it by hand to follow the old ways. They spent like 15 minutes in the first movie covering that shit.
Luciano (19:31.683)
Sure. Okay. So that's why they do the call in the ships to honor the old ways.
spencer (19:39.328)
It actually doesn't do anything. They're just shoveling coal into the garbage. Keep it up! More fire on the end, boys! Gotta keep the old ways. Meanwhile, it's like, bwoooooo!
Luciano (19:41.133)
Yeah.
matthew w (19:44.738)
HAHAHAHAHAHA
Matt (19:45.294)
Alright. Haha.
Luciano (19:45.323)
Hahahaha!
matthew w (19:48.47)
What are we doing? We're respecting the old ways!
Luciano (19:51.158)
All right. All that all that coal is just heating up like bath water somewhere.
Matt (19:51.259)
Hahaha.
Matt (19:56.902)
How much coal do you think it takes to fire those cannons?
matthew w (19:56.963)
Hmm.
spencer (19:57.143)
haha
spencer (20:01.297)
least four.
matthew w (20:02.289)
Oh my god. More.
Luciano (20:03.043)
Yeah, like.
Matt (20:04.081)
Go in square footage, because why not? How many square feet of coal? Cubic feet of coal.
Luciano (20:07.522)
was square foot. It takes four 14 acres of coal to find.
spencer (20:08.024)
Square, square, that's such a red.
Matt (20:13.99)
Cubic, cubic feet of coal, please.
matthew w (20:14.999)
What?
Luciano (20:16.984)
I don't know the conversion from makers to cubic feet.
spencer (20:19.98)
Did you? I did.
Matt (20:20.303)
Yeah, that's the problem here
Luciano (20:25.399)
I have no idea.
Matt (20:27.186)
second. All right. It's fair enough. Now let's get a question.
Luciano (20:28.318)
Yeah, I think I think Spencer was right at least four
Matt (20:32.879)
At least for our cubic feet.
spencer (20:33.349)
I'd say at least 1800 knots.
matthew w (20:37.655)
18 hundred knots of coal.
Luciano (20:37.751)
HAHAHAHAHAHA
Matt (20:38.595)
Yeah.
Luciano (20:42.222)
That makes sense.
Matt (20:42.779)
Not so cool. Great. Yeah, that makes sense. It's fine. Don't don't look into it. Zach said I didn't make any effort. Why should we?
spencer (20:44.031)
Ha!
matthew w (20:44.299)
Hahaha
matthew w (20:48.165)
I'm going to go to bed.
Luciano (20:48.531)
Yeah, why should we, yeah.
spencer (20:50.312)
Are those, wait, are those swords coal powered? Are there's... There's coals in the hilt.
Matt (20:53.478)
Hi. Yes. Everything is coal powered. Spencer, how can you not believe that everything is coal powered in this world? They're powering those ships with coal. Everything is coal power. Because if. Yes, coal power. Because if the Druid has batteries, a battery powerful enough to get that Druid to run constantly, that would be better for the ship to use than coal. So.
Luciano (20:54.018)
Oh, that's why it's hot. Cause the coal, the coal is in the handle. Yeah. There you go.
matthew w (20:55.905)
Yeah?
Luciano (21:05.131)
Yeah, it's true.
matthew w (21:05.418)
Is the druid droid core power? Ha ha
spencer (21:09.969)
Gold power!
Luciano (21:10.426)
Troll Power.
matthew w (21:17.656)
Yeah.
Luciano (21:19.796)
Yeah, that's true
spencer (21:21.823)
No, he's got tons of knots of coal in him.
matthew w (21:23.126)
Hahaha!
Luciano (21:24.481)
Yeah.
Matt (21:25.586)
Even the guns that fire like liquid bolts, that's all coal.
Luciano (21:28.727)
Yeah.
spencer (21:28.936)
Oh, those guns sucked. They look like paintball.
matthew w (21:29.404)
That's just cool.
matthew w (21:34.466)
Also, if they had the technology to make a droid that's bulletproof like that, couldn't they just all have armor that didn't... like, that just didn't die? Oh, okay. There you go. I feel like you just embodied Zack Snyder there. It's like, hey Zack, should this movie even exist? No. You're fine.
Luciano (21:40.102)
Now.
Matt (21:42.958)
No. Yeah. That's a...
spencer (21:44.345)
That cost money.
Luciano (21:46.176)
Yeah.
spencer (21:51.168)
You're fired. Ha ha ha.
Matt (21:51.382)
Now, yes.
Luciano (21:52.314)
That's like Ben Affleck telling Michael Bay that it would be easier to teach the scientists to drill holes. Yeah. And he's like, why don't you shut up? OK. So I'm sorry.
spencer (21:59.256)
Yeah, the astronauts to drill holes, yeah.
matthew w (22:02.198)
Yeah.
spencer (22:05.989)
Why don't you shut up and get off my set?
matthew w (22:06.442)
Yeah
Hehe
Matt (22:10.377)
Hehe
spencer (22:11.16)
What are you my writer? No, but you fired your writer already. What are you my editor? He fired him too
Luciano (22:14.426)
Hahaha
Matt (22:15.425)
Okay
matthew w (22:18.491)
Uhhhhhh
Matt (22:19.475)
Let's continue to talk about this movie. We've, we've, there's more to talk about. Yeah, there's so much more. Let's talk about the main characters that we were introduced just a little bit. So we have Gunnar who spoiler alert dies and we have Cora who, reading what?
spencer (22:23.992)
So much more.
Luciano (22:25.525)
Oh yeah.
spencer (22:33.164)
Hold on, are you reading? Are you reading? Like their names?
Matt (22:38.99)
Why just remember like two of them? Why?
spencer (22:40.444)
Matt other Matt slash Matias. I'll give you five dollars if you can name all the characters Just the main characters That wasn't even the offer it was only upside
matthew w (22:43.554)
Mm-hmm.
matthew w (22:46.826)
I will just give you five dollars. Cause I, you know, I... Um, there's general... There's... Sexy Abs, jaunty hat guy with the like bird. There was... um, Lector Blot.
Matt (22:50.262)
It's easier this way.
Luciano (22:50.76)
haha
Matt (23:03.918)
Yeah, that's Tarek. That's Lector.
spencer (23:08.34)
No, that's Jimmy?
matthew w (23:08.67)
Um, I guess...
Luciano (23:10.478)
So you can't wait. Okay, so I have, there's an easy way for you to find out. Is it?
matthew w (23:13.73)
There was a girl named Astrid. I remember that.
Luciano (23:17.018)
There was? No. That's Sam. Her name is Sam. No.
spencer (23:17.357)
What?
Matt (23:18.72)
No.
matthew w (23:18.862)
I think there was some girl named Astrid, she had that giant gun, that she like pulled out of her-
spencer (23:22.196)
You owe me $20 now.
Matt (23:23.91)
That's Sam.
matthew w (23:25.866)
A Sam? Oh, is that the dollar store Furiosa? Like the one that just disappeared?
Luciano (23:30.238)
No, no, that's another one. Sam is the blonde girl.
Matt (23:30.854)
Kinda. Oh no. Dog Star Furiosa?
spencer (23:32.276)
No, no. What was her name? Luciano, I'll give you $5. No, wait, I'll give you $5 Luciano if you can name Dollar Store for your OSA's name. Yeah.
Luciano (23:43.407)
I don't know.
I'll give you $5.
Matt (23:46.694)
It's, it's, it's Milius.
spencer (23:48.15)
Again, that wasn't the offer, but I'll take your money as well. I don't think you guys know how to gamble.
Luciano (23:49.851)
I know!
No, I...
matthew w (23:53.298)
Oh, one of them's name was Gunner.
Matt (23:56.75)
Yeah, yeah, he's dead.
Luciano (23:56.778)
Yeah, so that's what I was gonna say. You can figure out who they are by like, they're all like discount versions of more famous actors. So Gunner, discount Bradley Cooper. Dan, the guy that falls from the ship trying to kill Noble, discount Hugh Jackman, exactly. And then you have Tarak, who's discount Matthew McConaughey. And you have on the first movie that you didn't see Matt.
spencer (23:57.172)
Yeah!
matthew w (23:59.435)
Yeah.
matthew w (24:08.546)
Mm.
spencer (24:12.432)
Oh, I got it discount Hugh Jackman. Yeah, he looked like Hugh Jackman
Matt (24:14.982)
Yeah, yeah.
spencer (24:22.685)
I could see that.
Luciano (24:26.698)
you have discount Wilbur, who was Marcus, I think it was his name. So that's the easy way they, there's, he was the, he was the prick soldier. But yeah. Anyway, he is, he is that. Yeah.
matthew w (24:29.531)
Mmm.
spencer (24:32.69)
I don't remember Marcus.
Matt (24:35.75)
Where, where, like how?
matthew w (24:38.99)
Ha ha
Matt (24:40.686)
He's dead. He's dead. It's fine. Um, so, the cast, let's talk about these people for a bit. Um, I'm gonna name some of the cast members, um, and if you know who they are and you want to talk about them, I'll give you context. We have Korra. Do we need to talk about Korra? We're gonna get into her as we go, right? Since she's the main character. Yeah. We have General Titus. Um, literally the world's worst general.
spencer (24:52.297)
Okay.
Luciano (24:56.682)
And we live her for last. Yeah.
spencer (24:56.887)
weather
Luciano (25:01.19)
Okay.
Yeah. A general...
matthew w (25:05.33)
Hehe
Matt (25:05.794)
He was shocked, shocked that the Imperium kept bringing tanks and troops that he clearly saw land on the planet.
Luciano (25:13.01)
Yep. And every time, not just the first time that more like the reinforcements came, but all three times the reinforcements came. It was like, oh no.
spencer (25:13.984)
He was also...
matthew w (25:14.154)
Mmm.
spencer (25:20.172)
to the new.
Did anybody else think that we were going to see his smart general abilities and when they went for the women and children that was going to be a trap?
Luciano (25:32.71)
Yes, I thought that.
matthew w (25:33.538)
Hmm. Yeah, wasn't it like the
spencer (25:34.488)
And I was just like, no, I thought that I thought it was. I thought the grain people were going to have a trap for them. The women and children just had guns. But like I meant, like, I thought it was going to be like that was. Children of the corn them.
Matt (25:34.97)
What's a trap?
Luciano (25:39.075)
It wasn't!
It wasn't really like a trap like yeah. Yeah, it wasn't really a trap.
matthew w (25:45.63)
Ah, yeah. That would have made it really cool. Slow motion little kids with corn.
Well, most of the children of the corn just like, smoking soldiers. Mmm.
Luciano (25:56.21)
Well that would have been cool. Can you imagine the soldiers walk in there and just like get children of the corned to oblivion? It would be good.
spencer (26:02.828)
Come play with us. Cut grain with us.
matthew w (26:03.23)
Yeah!
Luciano (26:08.474)
yeah fucking noble gets there they're all cutting grain like glass eyes and yes grain we love grain
matthew w (26:17.33)
Just making the l- just making like lines of it and snorting it. I'm going into weird places here. I'm gonna get confused. I'm thinking the grain of spice again from Star Wars. I'm confused.
spencer (26:24.469)
Yeah.
spencer (26:27.892)
Bices from Dune! Stop mixing your space lore!
Matt (26:28.686)
Yes, spices from Star Wars. Perfect. Good job, Zack Snyder. Welcome to the podcast.
Luciano (26:29.408)
Yeah, wow.
matthew w (26:31.551)
I thought it was!
Luciano (26:32.91)
That, yeah. Hahaha!
matthew w (26:37.652)
Uh, it's Mr. Bloodstache, I'll have you know.
spencer (26:39.512)
Yeah, I believe you're getting a phone call mr. Bloodstache This is Zack Snyder. I just heard you what you said. I need you in my next picture Let's let's make a movie
Matt (26:40.692)
Yeah.
matthew w (26:43.615)
Hahahaha
Matt (26:44.293)
Hehe
Luciano (26:48.297)
Let's make a movie right now!
matthew w (26:48.782)
Hahaha
be like sure I got five minutes come on you can bang this out
Luciano (26:55.398)
Ha ha ha!
spencer (26:55.977)
Five minutes, give me two, and we're done.
matthew w (26:59.116)
Hahahaha
Luciano (27:01.664)
Yeah.
Matt (27:02.15)
So yeah, General Titus, Atticus Noble who is the main villain.
Luciano (27:07.758)
His name is Addicts? I didn't remember that. Okay.
matthew w (27:07.772)
Mm.
Matt (27:09.798)
Atticus Nobile.
spencer (27:11.245)
Not just once, but twice for the same price.
Matt (27:14.446)
Right.
Luciano (27:14.782)
yeah and it's crying the most the most evil looking motherfucker that has ever lived
matthew w (27:16.322)
I think in my notes I have a soft void dollar activator.
spencer (27:22.484)
I don't mind that actor. I thought he was like, he's like one of the better parts of the movies. But why kill him in the first movie, and then have him come back and do the exact same thing again? Like exactly the same? It was like it made no sense.
Luciano (27:24.183)
No, I don't either.
Yeah.
Luciano (27:31.234)
and then bring him back and kill him again. Yeah, yeah.
matthew w (27:34.711)
Yeah.
Matt (27:36.154)
Well, he died in a worse way, arguably.
spencer (27:39.604)
Yeah, in this way too, he gets stabbed in the back. Like I was like, that was pretty, by Gunner. Yeah. I mean, and you could tell that when they cut their head off that Zack Snyder definitely filmed it with his head getting cut off. And they just did like a snap zoom, zoom on her right when she swings the thing. And it's like, oh, Zack Snyder's already filming his R-rated cut. He gets two shots at every movie.
matthew w (27:40.182)
Okay.
Luciano (27:40.415)
Here or there?
Luciano (27:44.514)
By Gunner, that's really insult to injury, literally.
Matt (27:46.36)
Ugh.
matthew w (27:49.15)
Yeah!
Luciano (28:00.545)
Yeah.
Luciano (28:05.166)
Oh no, we're gonna get a Snyder cut in like four, three in black and white that's like six hours long. Is that what's happening?
matthew w (28:05.25)
Yeah
spencer (28:13.1)
If he has a longer version of this movie, I'm going all the way back around it and starting to like him again because that takes skill to make a put this thing any longer than it already is.
Luciano (28:19.462)
Hahaha!
matthew w (28:20.822)
Hahaha!
Luciano (28:23.774)
Yeah, another 45 minutes of grain harvesting.
spencer (28:27.112)
Yeah, he's got he's gotten so far into madness that he's come back around to being
matthew w (28:27.85)
No, he's probably gonna...
Matt (28:28.102)
Perfect.
Luciano (28:32.7)
A genius, yeah, yeah.
matthew w (28:35.593)
Eh, probably have a giant like 45 minute scene of those two banging.
Luciano (28:36.882)
So, Matt, you wanted to talk about Atticus Noi? Hahaha!
spencer (28:41.356)
I like what you're saying.
Matt (28:42.058)
I mean sure whatever I'm just throwing these out there you guys do what you need I mean his role in the movie is like he shouldn't have he couldn't have existed if he didn't exist the movie would Have had the same pacing
Luciano (28:44.39)
Yeah.
Luciano (28:52.658)
And also nothing would have happened at all because he's the only competent thing that the Imperium has, right? They had farmers running around with hunting rifles and fucking Tarak with literally bringing a knife to a gunfight with like running at them with fucking axes. Meanwhile, he's dropping down that trench and fucking T1000 going through everybody.
matthew w (28:52.674)
Hahaha!
spencer (28:52.98)
Yeah, he did way less in this.
spencer (29:02.804)
I mean, he's not that competent.
Matt (29:03.023)
I mean...
Matt (29:20.69)
To be fair, that is very Star Wars. The Stormtroopers get wasted and Discount Darth Vader kicks ass.
matthew w (29:20.758)
Yeah.
matthew w (29:24.092)
Yes.
Luciano (29:25.618)
Oh man, the storm troopers are like expert marksmen next to these people.
matthew w (29:34.443)
Oh yeah, I have some weird notes from him. I'm just gonna read you some of my actual notes. I said, um, He looks, that scar looks really sad. It looks like a holistic recovery session went wrong. Quote, damn my cupping session went too hard, bro. Um, I also read, He seems like he, why did he say he would bear his chest like he's never done this? It seems like he would bear his chest a lot. Like,
Luciano (29:47.534)
Hahahaha
spencer (29:49.869)
Heheheheh, bro.
matthew w (29:58.974)
He is definitely running shirtless along the waterfront during Family Day in his girlfriend's 60s high-waisted run shorts
spencer (30:06.333)
That's so, so very specific. But I, it paid.
Luciano (30:06.427)
Why on family days specifically? I... yeah. Yeah.
matthew w (30:11.423)
I feel like that's...
Matt (30:11.83)
That's the only day the Imperium gets off is Family Day. Yeah.
matthew w (30:14.991)
He's a family guy. Yeah, that's the vibe he gives off.
Luciano (30:15.048)
Ah...
spencer (30:15.166)
Yeah.
Luciano (30:18.296)
famously founded on Canadian principles, the Imperium is.
spencer (30:21.615)
Yeah.
Matt (30:21.978)
Well, Family Day isn't a Canadian concept sir. Zach's gonna conclude and make it up.
matthew w (30:22.324)
Yes.
Luciano (30:28.93)
Okay, sure. Sure.
matthew w (30:31.409)
Green day maybe.
Matt (30:31.446)
Um, it's a good... Crane day.
spencer (30:33.792)
I have a question though, just cause you brought up his scar noble. Um, he has the scar. I don't know if I missed something. Cause for a second I'm like, Oh, that's why they call her the scar giver. Cause she gave him that scar. But then I remembered she's already called the scar giver. Did she give someone else a scar?
matthew w (30:38.818)
Mm.
Luciano (30:51.276)
Yeah.
matthew w (30:54.678)
Maybe it was the kid.
Luciano (30:56.131)
Not that we were shown. Yeah, the princess, she gave the princess a scar. Ha ha
spencer (30:57.14)
What the fuck is this movie?
Matt (30:58.012)
Technically, she gave the princess a scar. That's not wrong.
matthew w (31:03.384)
I'm sorry.
spencer (31:04.584)
I just I like what like I thought in the flashback she was gonna shoot Balisarius and give him a scar and that's gonna be why she was the scar giver
Luciano (31:12.01)
Yeah, so did I. I also thought that we're going to see Tide as being a general, yet here we are.
matthew w (31:19.231)
Mmm.
Matt (31:19.354)
Would this arm be a bedroom?
spencer (31:20.252)
I also thought we would see a movie, not a collection of images that cause madness.
Luciano (31:22.494)
Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I think we're. Go ahead, man.
Matt (31:22.991)
Hmm, that's fair.
matthew w (31:24.269)
And yes!
Matt (31:26.278)
Let's.
matthew w (31:28.674)
Ha ha!
Matt (31:29.37)
Well, I was going to say, let's, I think it's time that we talk about the plot homes, but we now understand that.
spencer (31:34.017)
We got through two characters I respect your decision
matthew w (31:36.514)
Hehehehe
Matt (31:36.822)
It's not worth our time. I'm kind of big on that. That's that. Yeah. Understand that we recognize that generally in order to have plots or a plot hole, you need to have plot. And for the most part, there's no plot for this movie. So we understand that. But we do really want to talk about the Imperium.
matthew w (31:39.434)
It wasn't worth sacks, it's not worth ours.
Matt (32:03.098)
And so we're making about it in our plot hole because all the things that happened kind of center around how the Imperium allegedly works or what it is and all that jazz. Because they are the ones that come out, I don't know, they're coming out to, I guess, bring all the worlds back together after the king was killed. I think that's the plot of the first movie, not important. And so, what was it?
matthew w (32:22.891)
Mm. Ha ha ha!
spencer (32:23.116)
What, is that what it was?
Luciano (32:25.514)
No, no. So I can't give you in two sentences. But it's okay. It's they were they were conquering and then the current the slain king wanted to stop the war and then Balsak man decided to kill him because he wanted to continue expanding and taking over the entire universe. There.
spencer (32:28.031)
Who cares?
Matt (32:30.627)
Just five seconds.
spencer (32:31.988)
face Nazis.
Matt (32:45.954)
Yeah, but no, I was saying the Imperium themselves came out to veld because they were subjugating the worlds and we learned it's yeah, yeah. And so they're looking for the resistance and taking over shit. So they stop on this planet for grain is the inciting incident in the first movie.
Luciano (32:51.131)
Right and look going after the resistance. Yeah. Yeah
matthew w (32:55.318)
Hmm.
Luciano (33:04.896)
It's yeah, it's like it's just the most ludicrous thing when you say it out loud like that.
spencer (33:05.544)
I cannot not laugh at that.
spencer (33:10.892)
especially if they're all so futuristic. It's like it's like saying like, oh, super high, like super high tech society, but they needed to stop for pencils. To keep to keep track of things.
Matt (33:11.759)
Just the ability to make bread and bread-like products. That's it.
matthew w (33:22.839)
Mm.
Matt (33:22.958)
Yep. And, and, and call.
Luciano (33:23.466)
Yeah, they needed post-its and clips. Yeah. All out of white outs. The government has to stop because they can't submit forms. Yeah.
matthew w (33:27.062)
We need sandwiches!
Matt (33:27.084)
Yeah, yeah.
spencer (33:29.484)
I'm sorry.
Matt (33:29.754)
We need some whiteout. I've made a mistake on the forms. Now the guns don't fire. It's very, very embarrassing. So no, but I'm setting this up because we're trying, I'm trying to understand the Imperium's initial reason to come to Veldin in the first place because it kicks us all off. And really what I want to dig into is what we are told about the Imperium, what we can glean from it, and then likely how none of this makes sense.
matthew w (33:33.856)
Yeah. Cool.
Luciano (33:59.207)
What?
spencer (34:00.207)
No, it all makes sense.
matthew w (34:01.07)
I think you guys literally just explained to me that Mr. Ballsackalicious was like their leader. I didn't know who he was. I thought he was just some random guy with bad hair.
Matt (34:06.45)
Yeah. Belisarius. Yeah. No, he took over with all the Nineveh guys in the cutscene. So, so let's work through the Imperium. The Imperium is a collection of all the human worlds that are subjugating the rest of space, right? That's mother line, father line. It's very, very Warhammer-esque.
Luciano (34:08.479)
Nice.
Luciano (34:12.836)
Yeah.
matthew w (34:16.213)
Ah.
Luciano (34:26.842)
by the Motherland or whatever.
Luciano (34:32.354)
Yes.
spencer (34:33.194)
or Nazi Germany.
Matt (34:36.538)
Sure. Same, same. But it feels nicer to say Warhammer-esque instead of talking about Nazis to the rest of the podcast. So we know this is their thing. Now, we know they had a coup and Boss Acolytius killed the current king and his fake daughter killed the daughter of the king. And that's where it falls apart because so many questions stem from this. And we'll start at this
Luciano (34:36.837)
Same, same. Let's be honest here.
Luciano (34:42.851)
Yeah.
matthew w (34:43.341)
Mmm.
matthew w (34:51.63)
I'm going to go ahead and turn it off.
Luciano (34:51.814)
Hahaha!
Luciano (34:58.042)
But not really. Yeah.
Matt (35:06.35)
Why did they need to frame the royal family's murder on anybody?
Luciano (35:08.623)
Yeah.
matthew w (35:12.354)
Yeah.
Luciano (35:13.882)
I don't understand either because like presumably, not presumably, clearly everybody in that fucking eyes wide shut slash Roman Senate scene were in on it, right? Like nobody was going to like say no, it wasn't, it wasn't her. It was Bella Sarah. No, nobody was going to say that. But I don't, I don't know how someone who comes up with the plan that asinine.
matthew w (35:25.807)
Mm. Yeah.
Luciano (35:42.57)
Like how I'm supposed to believe that he is like orchestrated this mega coup that can kill the king and the princess and all that stuff. Do you guys understand why he didn't just have her killed if you wanted to frame her?
matthew w (36:00.21)
Like kill her and then just kill the dude and be like, she did it.
Luciano (36:02.722)
Yeah, and then say, oh, yeah, she did it and we killed her. Yeah. Like, why didn't he do that? No, but I'm trying to give, I'm trying to like, just benefit of the doubt here. Let's say he had to frame her as someone. Why not just kill her?
matthew w (36:06.41)
I mean, why even that though? Why even that? I mean, it just seemed like they could have just killed him and been like, whatever.
spencer (36:14.88)
Yeah, I think we can assume that he had to frame someone. Otherwise, the people would, let's say, I assume would riot because they would know that they were killed by their own people.
Luciano (36:28.04)
And do what? Throw grain at them? Like, who cares?
matthew w (36:31.018)
Yeah. Grain is our most powerful weapon.
spencer (36:32.204)
Well, I don't know, maybe that... That's our most powerful weapon. That... You know, that's my favorite line, and don't you insult it. No, I assume they're the people, they don't want the people rioting or whatever. You know, they don't want an uprising, they want a peaceful transition of power. So the smartest move was to blame it on an outworlder, so nobody questions them as a coup.
Luciano (36:40.866)
Hahaha!
matthew w (36:41.335)
I'm sorry.
Luciano (36:55.382)
Yeah. Right.
matthew w (36:56.926)
I feel the argument that starts with I assume causes some problems. Because we can assume a lot of things.
Luciano (37:01.578)
Yeah.
spencer (37:01.835)
Well listen, this is a Zack Snyder film. You gotta assume a lot.
Luciano (37:04.73)
Also, also you have to you have to remember she was a decorated soldier. That's why she got the post as the royal family's bodyguard Right. So like why her but whatever go ahead Matt
Matt (37:06.832)
Right.
matthew w (37:14.155)
Hmm.
Matt (37:14.778)
Yeah. So, well, and so like I want, it's fair, these are all fair questions, but I want to tease out instead of focusing on her. If this is so the Imperium is run by these, the Balsacalicious and his buddies that perpetrate this plan. So what is the Imperium like? And they say they do this because they want to keep the war machine going. Okay, so why is the war machine kept going? To what end?
matthew w (37:29.998)
I'm going to go ahead and close the video.
Luciano (37:31.951)
Yeah.
Luciano (37:38.969)
Yeah.
matthew w (37:42.796)
Mm.
Luciano (37:42.946)
We don't, we don't really, we're not really given a reason, right? It just wants to keep expanding, I guess.
spencer (37:47.084)
Well...
If you want to go if you want to if you want to continue assuming it seems that they need to expand to get food.
matthew w (37:50.719)
If I take from the...
matthew w (37:55.319)
Yeah.
matthew w (37:59.158)
Ha ha ha! She get creamed. Nah.
spencer (38:00.32)
because that is the only explanation. Well, grains.
Matt (38:01.531)
Grain.
Luciano (38:02.918)
There is only one place in the entire galaxy that makes flour, and it's veldt, so they need it.
spencer (38:08.361)
It's a four acre piece of land with 20 farmers and it's gonna feed the entire galaxy if we just play our cards right. So that's, I think that's the only reason. They don't talk about money ever.
matthew w (38:10.583)
Yeah.
Luciano (38:15.599)
Yeah.
Luciano (38:22.45)
Yeah, they don't really clarify. He just, what Balsakalicious says is, I'll be damned if we're gonna let this weakling or something like that get away from my war or take me away from my war or something like that. So I just assume he is sort of like bloodlusty or whatever.
matthew w (38:37.357)
Mmm.
spencer (38:42.2)
That's such a good point that you guys are pointing out, though, that the main antagonists of the film have no motivation. They don't ever show. It's not even like they're like, oh, we want to eradicate these people because they're, you know, like they stand up against us or they're super against one species or anything. They just.
Luciano (38:49.59)
Yeah. It's just evil for evil's sake.
matthew w (38:50.214)
No.
Luciano (39:05.127)
Yeah, that was the first movie's excuse, right? They wanted to eradicate the resistance, but it's not that here. Now they're just after her.
matthew w (39:06.104)
Okay.
Matt (39:08.731)
Mm-hmm.
matthew w (39:14.355)
I literally wish I could add to this, but I was just so bloody confused. I mean, from the flashbacks, it looked like they just destroyed everything that could be economically viable to them. Like, they had a mine, and they're like, let's blow it up. They had, like, a fishing village. They're like, no, we don't need no fish. Which if you need food, don't you need fish? Fish, loaves and bread. Loaves and bread.
Luciano (39:25.225)
yeah they destroyed the fishing village they destroyed that you didn't yeah
Matt (39:32.902)
You don't? Nope.
spencer (39:33.358)
You shut your... Listen, they're on a pure gluten diet and they will not eat anything but grain and that is the problem.
matthew w (39:40.458)
Ah! Mmm. This is f-
Luciano (39:41.749)
Yeah, they're not even making bread, they're just eating the flour raw.
spencer (39:44.712)
reading flower and that is that's a law both ball sack alicia's is the opposite of gluten-free he's gluten
matthew w (39:48.074)
Maybe they're loading it in their guns and that's what they're shooting at?
Luciano (39:57.814)
Yeah, he's good and fool. Yeah. Yeah, we're not giving a reason Matt is the answer.
matthew w (39:59.074)
Ha ha ha!
spencer (39:59.644)
gluten full? Yeah, I'm like trying to figure out. So so everyone has to follow that.
Matt (40:05.006)
Okay, so no, yeah. That's fair. Okay, so and then what do we know about the Imperium? So the Imperium, we know that there are dreadnoughts that each Admiral gets a dreadnought that they go about the countryside keeping the peace.
spencer (40:19.466)
The countryside.
Luciano (40:19.979)
and doing whatever they want including exploding entire plans as he did in the first plan in the first movie. Yeah.
spencer (40:24.733)
Nuking Planet
Matt (40:27.359)
Well, maybe. But we don't know. It just looks like a nuke. But you can be really, really close to it like General Titus was and you'll be fine.
Luciano (40:31.726)
No, but...
No, I know, but he obliterated that planet that was hiding the resistance, right? When in the first movie, just willy nilly, he's like, oh, you pissed me off. I'm going to explode your entire planet.
matthew w (40:36.866)
hahahaha sawa
Matt (40:44.29)
Yeah. Mature.
spencer (40:44.789)
Yeah, yeah.
spencer (40:49.664)
Yeah, and they were willing to like, go along with them.
matthew w (40:50.146)
Hmm
Luciano (40:53.174)
Yeah, same with the with the Tarex planet as we see in the flashback.
Matt (40:54.145)
glass of planet as it were.
spencer (40:58.1)
Same with every one of their back, every backstory at that conversation was the exact same. It was like, and then they came and they killed everybody. He's like, this was me, I lived on this planet. And then they came and they killed everybody.
Luciano (41:02.122)
isn't yeah oh well with titus with titus it was worse because they killed their own soldiers to punish one guy
matthew w (41:08.257)
Yeah exactly!
spencer (41:17.268)
Yes, but literally it's like it was copy and paste the same story six times in a row.
matthew w (41:17.271)
Yeah.
matthew w (41:21.358)
But honestly though.
If they need grain that much, I mean maybe that solves some problems for them in the short term. Just kill them all and then we don't have to feed them grain. Or throw it at them.
Luciano (41:24.762)
Something like that.
spencer (41:30.816)
He did say that in the movie.
Matt (41:31.226)
Hey man, that's Atticus Nobles line.
spencer (41:34.428)
Yeah, less mouths to feed.
Luciano (41:34.602)
yeah he said it almost word for word fewer mouths to feed he says that yeah
matthew w (41:36.036)
laughter
matthew w (41:40.345)
Oh, there you go.
Matt (41:42.178)
Sounds like you're part of the Imperium, sir. Blood stash.
matthew w (41:44.622)
Oh well, you know, Messiah's... Messiah's last...
Luciano (41:45.421)
Tell us! Tell us! What are you doing with all that coal?
spencer (41:49.514)
Guys, I don't know if I trust Bloodstache. It's giving me a bad vibe.
matthew w (41:57.367)
Mmmm
Luciano (42:03.23)
Also, so here's another thing about the Imperium that I don't understand. So like they go around, in the flashbacks at least, they win every fight. They destroy Tyrex planet, they destroy the Fishing Village, they destroy everything. But when we actually see them fight in this, they're the worst military of all time.
spencer (42:23.008)
No, because they blow up every other planet from space. This is they were because they weaponized the they're terrible because they weaponized the weaponized the grain. The greatest weapon of all.
Matt (42:23.502)
Yeah, but yeah, did us glass of planet, right?
Luciano (42:28.055)
Ah, so when they need boots on the ground, they're awful.
Matt (42:31.526)
Not so good. That's Titus' plan, right?
matthew w (42:32.681)
Hehehehe
Matt (42:36.494)
Titus is, yeah, the greatest one all. Thank you.
matthew w (42:36.745)
I'm going to go home.
Luciano (42:39.878)
Yeah. Oh, OK, my bad, my bad. I hadn't seen that yet.
matthew w (42:44.408)
Yeah.
spencer (42:44.562)
Yeah.
spencer (42:48.194)
Man.
Luciano (42:48.238)
But then why even have foot soldiers in the first place?
spencer (42:53.996)
To get the grain, what aren't you getting? Did you watch the movie?
matthew w (42:57.067)
HAHAHAHAHAHA
Luciano (42:58.496)
But then if they didn't have the soldiers, they wouldn't have need for the grain to feed the soldiers.
spencer (43:05.728)
But if they didn't have the soldiers, how would they get the grain? Hehehe
matthew w (43:06.41)
question system.
Luciano (43:11.58)
Oh god. Yeah.
matthew w (43:12.302)
Don't question the system, alright? It all falls apart when you do that.
Matt (43:15.622)
Luciano, a lot of lessons can be learned in different places in life. And this lesson I think is coming from one of the Civilization games. I don't know which one in the series it is. But you can bomb a city with planes and with howitzers and with nukes, but you gotta have troops to take the city. And that's the same principle that's used here. You can glass a planet, but you don't own it until you have a troop on the ground to occupy it. To get the grain.
Luciano (43:41.466)
Boots on the floor. Ah. Ha ha ha.
matthew w (43:41.826)
Butts in the seats.
spencer (43:43.659)
Mm-hmm. You're soundin' like gluten-free scum is what you're soundin' like.
matthew w (43:48.322)
Hahahaha
Matt (43:51.146)
All I know is that Anro Bloodstache would not let his soldiers talk like this.
matthew w (43:56.431)
No, not ever. I would just feed them more grain. I don't know. Why are we even here?
spencer (43:56.486)
Yeah.
Luciano (43:57.99)
No, it's true. No, less grain. Less grain. More coal. Yeah, exactly.
Matt (44:01.727)
or coal. Less grain, more coal. Yeah.
matthew w (44:03.766)
Yeah, that's great. More coal. I would make them eat coal. Let them eat coal!
spencer (44:10.334)
If we didn't eat anything but bread, I'd have my soldiers eat each other.
Luciano (44:14.522)
Hahaha! The rummage of bread, yet!
spencer (44:15.36)
But they're not made of bread. Not yet.
Matt (44:16.334)
Nice. They're not made of bread.
matthew w (44:17.928)
Nyeh heh
spencer (44:20.319)
Not... not yet.
Matt (44:21.398)
yet. So, okay, so I do want to talk about the dreadnoughts a bit because what we understand about the dreadnoughts is they are aircraft carriers to some degree.
matthew w (44:22.334)
Yeah.
Luciano (44:34.102)
Yeah, because when it goes down, there's a bunch of ships flying out of it.
Matt (44:38.754)
Yeah, fly out. So it is a fully operational platform. It has everything you need to. Let's go. Grain. Well, it doesn't have grain, that's the problem. Stay focused. It's got a face. So, and like these are allegedly very scary things to run into in space, right? That's the impression we're given at least in the first movie. They're like, but okay, but like.
matthew w (44:39.394)
Mm.
spencer (44:43.887)
operational.
Luciano (44:44.81)
It has coal, it has grain! Hahahaha!
matthew w (44:49.538)
Hahaha
spencer (44:51.034)
It's got a face.
Luciano (44:54.102)
Yeah.
matthew w (44:54.983)
Hahaha!
Luciano (45:04.964)
Yeah.
Matt (45:08.946)
Um, does nobody else have any spaceships bigger than like five people?
Luciano (45:15.37)
It looks like it. We don't even see any other spaceships than the ones that the rebels fly, right? The resistance flies.
matthew w (45:15.734)
Hehehehehehehehehe
Matt (45:23.918)
Yes, that's right. The pod, yeah, the pod racer, if that's correct.
matthew w (45:24.61)
You mean the pod raisers? I believe it. Gotcha.
Luciano (45:26.477)
Yeah.
spencer (45:27.588)
I believe the ship that Charlie Hunnam, his ship was a little bit bigger than the Podracers, if I recall.
Luciano (45:34.167)
Yeah.
Matt (45:37.51)
Like five, six people, yeah.
Luciano (45:39.002)
Yeah.
spencer (45:40.16)
That's the biggest shit. He was batting got shot in the face or stabbed in the face, stabbed shot in the face by Gunner.
matthew w (45:40.438)
What happened to him? Did he die?
Luciano (45:42.283)
Yeah, he died.
Matt (45:43.611)
Oh yeah.
matthew w (45:46.085)
Oh.
Luciano (45:49.442)
Yeah. Again, insult to injury. Yeah, Gunnar has a body count. Yeah.
matthew w (45:51.382)
He seemed to be very capable for someone who's just really terrible at everything.
spencer (45:52.234)
Gunner kills everybody. Yeah.
He just pictures them as grain stocks. Just fuck, cuts them down.
matthew w (45:57.566)
Wait, that scene?
matthew w (46:01.502)
That scene where he's like shooting the grain guy that's on the thing, which by the way, terrible use of grain if it's so bloody important. He did terribly. Like he missed the side of the guy's face, he shot under it, and everyone like literally sat there and was like, Good job. And I'm like, really? He missed a lot.
Luciano (46:02.13)
Hahaha!
Matt (46:08.89)
Right.
Luciano (46:18.478)
Well, yeah, well, at the end when at the end, when like Cora gets to the hanger and is that going to the ship. They he has both noble and the dude with the sword too, with his back, they're back to him. And instead of doing like, should have, should noble in the face. No, he barely hits the guy with the sword and then gets shot and dead right after. So.
matthew w (46:39.994)
It doesn't get deflected too, it's just like, ugh, terrible.
Luciano (46:42.671)
I have no idea You did I yeah
Matt (46:43.866)
Technically the sword guy dies immediately and Gunner doesn't die until a much more complicated time in the plot. But we digress, we're talking about the Imperium and how it works. So further questions, the medicals, well yeah I'm going into the dreadnoughts so they carry a medical bay and there's these weird priest dudes which is actually kind of interesting and cool potentially.
Luciano (46:51.007)
Of course, yeah.
Luciano (46:55.901)
Okay.
spencer (46:56.757)
Yes.
Luciano (47:01.338)
You're asking about the dreadnoughts.
Luciano (47:12.688)
Yeah.
Matt (47:13.806)
that handle all the health and healing. So we are led to believe that did they put his body in a clone? Did they grow him a new body? How does that work?
Luciano (47:24.718)
I think they put him in like a cocoon that re-grew the stuff that got blown to bits. It was cool, the scene was cool.
spencer (47:30.476)
That was cool.
matthew w (47:30.964)
Mmm.
Matt (47:32.452)
Right.
spencer (47:33.353)
That was like one of the best parts of the movie.
matthew w (47:33.823)
He had a plug in the back of his head, so was it like the Matrix?
Matt (47:35.89)
Okay, so.
Luciano (47:38.922)
Yeah, so in the first movie they show him like sort of mentally having a conversation with Boilsec Alicious. So yeah.
spencer (47:39.605)
No, wasn't?
matthew w (47:45.53)
Mmm, in the Matrix.
Matt (47:46.778)
Mm-hmm.
spencer (47:47.968)
But wasn't he a robot in the first one too?
Matt (47:52.41)
Cyborg.
spencer (47:53.056)
Cyborg? Wasn't he like, isn't he always a cyborg?
Matt (47:56.774)
Whatever tell us. It's a. Yeah.
matthew w (47:57.407)
Which guy? The noble guy? So then he's-
Luciano (47:57.846)
Yeah, they don't clarify, he just... Noble, noble, yeah. He has a bunch of like, plugs in his body that he uses in the first movie to have sex with the tentacle. And then in this, and then in this he gets connected to them for some reason, and I think they regrow him, Matt. That's, I think that's what it is. Yeah.
matthew w (48:06.716)
Oh, okay.
Matt (48:14.374)
Yeah, they pumped some red lights and blue lights into them.
matthew w (48:15.331)
Would there be an extended tentacle sex scene in this one, if there was an extended cut? I feel like that's a missed opportunity. Just 45 minutes. Oh.
spencer (48:18.665)
and green lights.
Matt (48:22.499)
Okay.
spencer (48:24.006)
We just don't have time.
Luciano (48:25.79)
Yeah. How, what are you going to take off the grain scenes? Come on. Yeah.
Matt (48:26.134)
No, we just... Yeah. No.
matthew w (48:29.368)
I mean...
spencer (48:30.184)
We have two hours, we can show one battle, and that is all. No, and that's all.
Luciano (48:33.514)
and one harvest.
matthew w (48:34.1)
Mmm. Hahaha. And yeah, a lot of sweaty guys harvesting.
Matt (48:35.514)
and one sexy ass harvest.
That's it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I just asked this question because they clearly have spent a lot of time on medical science to clone or heal at least their upper crust, but nothing on more efficient ways of transportation through space. I understand there's no gravity in the space, so we'll
Luciano (48:49.111)
Right.
matthew w (48:52.039)
Listen, they have dedicated doctors.
Luciano (48:52.612)
Right.
spencer (49:02.636)
I mean, they have space vaginas.
Luciano (49:05.175)
Yeah, they have space for Janus.
Matt (49:07.362)
No, but like when they're not space-fitting around, how do you get from planet to planet? Just coal? That's all we're using? I just... Okay, no, it's fine. So...
Luciano (49:13.216)
I guess. It looks like it.
matthew w (49:13.835)
Is that what feeds the space vagina? Like they just are shoveling coal into?
spencer (49:17.996)
We already went over this, it's not coal. The coal, it goes in the garbage, it's the old ways. It's actually run on a nuclear reactor. We covered this.
Luciano (49:23.329)
Hahaha!
matthew w (49:25.488)
Good luck!
Matt (49:26.15)
Okay, sorry. Sorry, my bad. My bad. Okay, so they have nuclear reactors. What I want to know is if this is an industrial military, military industrial complex or industrial military industrial complex, where are they sending the research currently? Where are they spending the research dollars to continue to subjugate the universe?
matthew w (49:30.499)
Thanks for watching!
matthew w (49:37.728)
Hmm.
Luciano (49:38.282)
Yeah, military does your conference. Yeah.
Luciano (49:49.078)
Um, I want to say something grain related for sure. Yep. No, no, they they're trying to make fuel out of grain. I think that's what they're.
matthew w (49:53.216)
Yeah.
spencer (49:55.572)
Can't all be grain related, or can it?
Matt (49:57.446)
That's just food, that's food man, they've got it.
matthew w (50:02.943)
Yeah? They're moving on some coal?
spencer (50:04.532)
making they're trying to make food out of grain if only we could solve this one problem we're just eating flour if there's only something we could do with it
Matt (50:04.734)
Oh, you... We could do that now!
Luciano (50:08.242)
Hahaha! Damn it! That's true! Hahaha!
matthew w (50:09.923)
I'm sorry.
Luciano (50:17.31)
Yeah. Hahahaha. We have all this grain, we don't know what to do with it. This is a real problem. We'll just get more grain, we'll figure it out eventually. Hahahaha.
Matt (50:26.785)
What if we spilled water on it? Don't do that. That'll ruin the flower.
matthew w (50:27.319)
What the f***?
spencer (50:29.643)
Shut up and eat your bowl of flour.
matthew w (50:33.463)
It's... the future is so dry!
Matt (50:36.274)
What's... So, but... It's so doony. But this is my question. Like, the ship is built like a submarine, which again, rule of cool, it looks cool when you're in this tight ship, but like, so you have to stop at every planet every week and be like, hey man, I need some grain for our flower bowls. But it takes no effort to send ships through space. It's no energy.
spencer (50:38.068)
Hahaha
matthew w (50:40.534)
So good!
Luciano (50:52.42)
Yeah.
Luciano (51:01.562)
Yeah. Every single, every single flashback scene that we've seen, like if you roll back time enough, it's like, so do you have some grain? We need some grain. That's, that's how it starts.
matthew w (51:03.287)
doesn't
Matt (51:13.054)
Yeah. They came to our planet for our grain. But really, like, they nuked it all. But that's my question is, like, what are they up to? Because they have to stop for food every fucking 72 hours. And it's literally no effort to move a ship through space. There's no resistance. The energy is minimal. Why don't you make a bigger ship that can hold food for more than the fucking day?
matthew w (51:15.409)
No.
Luciano (51:16.482)
Yes!
spencer (51:17.14)
And they nuked it all.
matthew w (51:23.66)
Mm-hmm.
matthew w (51:28.067)
Thank you.
matthew w (51:35.523)
Hmm.
spencer (51:37.496)
There. Listen.
Luciano (51:37.507)
Yeah, and also they have enough resources of other kinds that they can travel all around the galaxy, they can blow up planets, they can deploy as many soldiers as they want, they can blow up their own fucking soldiers, that's how much... right?
matthew w (51:41.439)
Where would they put all that coal?
Matt (51:49.755)
Yeah
spencer (51:55.488)
Listen, they're investing in lightsabers. I mean, sabers of light.
matthew w (51:59.604)
Everyone.
Matt (52:01.943)
Sorry, I thought you were like Sabre NFTs.
Luciano (52:03.869)
It's a yeah, no, it's not they're not they're not lightsabers. They're they're laser scimitars. That's what they are. Yeah.
matthew w (52:04.316)
Yes.
spencer (52:05.754)
Heheheheheheh
Matt (52:14.612)
You know, that's a... Scimitars usually have more of a curve and not just a flat blade.
Luciano (52:16.934)
Uh, listen, don't try to bring your fucking logic into this!
spencer (52:20.748)
Shut up and eat your flower bowl.
matthew w (52:21.783)
Magical machetes? Are they magical machetes without work?
Luciano (52:26.758)
They're not magical. They're laser machetes.
Matt (52:27.158)
Oh, that's good. That's good marketing. Oh, yeah, but it's space. Yeah, right. Laser machetes. Doesn't I need the alliteration. Machete machetes sounded better. Sorry, Michael Machete.
matthew w (52:27.904)
Yeah!
Hmm
matthew w (52:33.995)
Laser machetes. Nah.
spencer (52:37.704)
light machetes?
matthew w (52:39.459)
I don't know. Michael McChanys. Michael McChanys? Michael McChanys.
spencer (52:40.948)
Light? Nobody said that! I said light machete! Michael Machete, he's from Queens! Oh!
Luciano (52:42.142)
Michael machetes is that is that is that billis arias's advisor? Michael machete the advisor
Matt (52:44.624)
Ha ha.
matthew w (52:49.857)
Oh.
Matt (52:51.95)
Yeah, that's a... You know how Atticus Noble has Cassius who just shows up out of nowhere in this movie? Well, Admiral Bloodstache has Michael Machete.
matthew w (52:54.184)
I'm sorry.
Luciano (52:54.587)
HAHA
matthew w (53:00.715)
Hehehehehe
spencer (53:01.718)
Hey.
Luciano (53:02.191)
Yeah.
matthew w (53:05.447)
Yes, exactly. Yeah, he...
spencer (53:06.84)
Yeah, he's like, he's like this is Michael Machete his sword traps the souls of his victims. I advise you don't get killed by him
Luciano (53:07.497)
Ah, I see.
Luciano (53:13.082)
Hahaha!
Matt (53:13.562)
Hahaha!
Matt (53:18.13)
Hahaha!
matthew w (53:18.239)
But the downside is it's...
Luciano (53:21.886)
And it's played by D- Played by Denny Trejo.
Matt (53:22.8)
Perfect.
matthew w (53:24.595)
Yes, it's powered and it sort of powered by grain. Grain and coal.
spencer (53:27.709)
Naturally. We don't have that to spare. Literally anything else would be better. Oh Cole, Cole we got plenty of that. The old ways.
Matt (53:30.418)
Yes, perfect.
matthew w (53:33.279)
Pulling great.
Luciano (53:33.863)
It's cool, it's cool.
Matt (53:37.582)
Cold Pirates V. Yeah.
matthew w (53:38.403)
You just gotta turn a crank and it starts going like a Model T.
Matt (53:43.934)
So I think, long story short, if anybody else wants to model on this, we don't understand the Imperium at all, we don't know what they're up to, why they operate, how they operate, how they're so successful at subjugating the universe. With a, like...
Luciano (53:52.39)
Yeah, how can they be so good at what they do apparently when all of their leaders and all of their military are so bad at what they do?
matthew w (54:00.631)
Hehe
Matt (54:02.734)
So just asking questions.
spencer (54:03.214)
And also, what's their long term goal?
matthew w (54:06.092)
Yeah.
Luciano (54:06.602)
Yeah, that's a good question. Like where the war is the oh the war is the end goal is not the means
Matt (54:09.097)
War.
spencer (54:14.548)
I mean, I understand that. It's like constant proxy wars.
Matt (54:15.045)
Yeah, there are-
Matt (54:19.73)
As you basically, if you steal, as you continue to steal from the Warhammer universe, essentially Warhammer is in a constant state of war over territory. So that's basically that's it. They're just going to fight forever.
Luciano (54:26.861)
Yeah.
Yeah, but in Warhammer you have like what? Five factions at least? With a contention at least?
Matt (54:35.631)
Five factions, that's very cute. Oh, fucking, there's so many factions, no.
matthew w (54:36.579)
Yeah.
Luciano (54:37.93)
It's more than that? No, I mean in general. I mean in general. The species, I mean, they have the orcs, the humans and all, like that's what I'm saying. Right? It's not like one of them dominating everything is my point.
spencer (54:38.4)
Yeah.
spencer (54:42.559)
How many knots of factions are there?
matthew w (54:45.03)
Mm.
Matt (54:47.767)
Like.
Matt (54:52.73)
Well, according to meetup.com, there's 26,855.
matthew w (54:58.382)
Wow.
spencer (54:59.19)
That's it!
Luciano (55:00.839)
So, what you're saying is a little more than five. Yeah. I wasn't the vicinity, right?
Matt (55:03.624)
But... A little more than five. Um... Based on WarGamer, it's twenty.
spencer (55:04.704)
You were so close.
matthew w (55:05.367)
Hehehe
matthew w (55:12.044)
Mmm.
Luciano (55:13.086)
Okay, that makes more sense.
spencer (55:13.26)
Wow, what a huge difference.
matthew w (55:15.969)
Hehehehe
Luciano (55:17.282)
But anyway, my point is it's not just one... It's not like in Warhammer the Imperium of Man is just dominating everything. They would want to, but they're not doing it. Here, they're just doing it. Nobody can put up a resistance, right?
Matt (55:18.057)
20,027.
spencer (55:19.351)
And somewhere in between those two.
Matt (55:28.85)
Sure. Yeah, but like, we spent all our time on one fucking grain. Moon.
spencer (55:35.252)
Yeah, maybe there's more going on.
Luciano (55:35.423)
great I see I want to see that stuff I want to see that story I'll be honest here I want to see that story
Matt (55:38.214)
There might be a little bit more going on. If we.
matthew w (55:40.131)
What was the name of that?
spencer (55:40.876)
That actually would be far more interesting. Yeah, me too.
matthew w (55:45.355)
I mean... Yeah, they only showed up at the very end. There was like one weird looking dude who was just like, REBEL LEADER!
spencer (55:46.744)
And where are all the aliens? Like, where are the aliens going? They showed one guy. Token alien. Hey guys!
Matt (55:46.915)
If we assume...
Matt (55:52.018)
There's that... there's that one dude. Yeah.
matthew w (55:56.191)
He's... He's their... He's their Akbar. That's who he is.
Luciano (55:57.391)
Oh yeah, I didn't even notice that you're right, yeah.
Matt (55:57.954)
Yeah.
spencer (56:03.304)
Yeah. And I was like, what?
Luciano (56:04.17)
It's a trap!
Matt (56:04.706)
He looks more like... Sorry Spencer, I was gonna say he looks more like... You know the guy who's on the Millennium Falcon with Lando?
matthew w (56:10.455)
Mmm. Yes! That creepy dude who's drooling all the time? Nope.
spencer (56:11.828)
Yes, yes, that's him.
Matt (56:13.134)
That guy. He looks like that guy. Yeah.
Luciano (56:13.819)
Yeah, yeah.
Luciano (56:17.846)
It's the same, this is set on the Star Wars universe.
matthew w (56:19.683)
So what's the name of that farming thing?
Matt (56:19.718)
Same guy.
spencer (56:20.864)
Like, I- cause I forgot the first movie.
matthew w (56:23.671)
What's the name of the farmer town? What is it called?
spencer (56:25.024)
Wood farming thing.
Matt (56:25.178)
Sorry, what farming thing?
spencer (56:28.312)
Grain.
Matt (56:28.71)
The Veld.
matthew w (56:29.243)
It's called... what? Called VELT?
spencer (56:33.5)
Grain down.
Matt (56:34.286)
Yeah, V-E-L-D-T. And that's the name of the moon.
Luciano (56:34.954)
Yeah, yeah, that's the moons. That's the name of the moon. Yeah.
matthew w (56:35.307)
Oh, don't you... Hey, don't you mean svelte? Mmm, because look at all those hard bodies. Mmm.
spencer (56:41.98)
Yeah, that's what he... I picture someone being like, Zack Snyder lost some weight, and they're like, you're looking very svelte today, Mr. Snyder. And he's like, what'd you say? Say that again. It's like Queen coming up with Bohemian Rhapsody. Svelte?
Luciano (56:42.302)
No.
Matt (56:42.31)
Hmm.
Luciano (56:45.856)
No, no we don't.
Matt (56:46.099)
Hmmm
matthew w (56:52.831)
Hehe
Luciano (56:54.263)
Ooh, what a can you spell that can you spell that for me?
Matt (56:55.503)
belt.
Matt (56:58.894)
Would you say? Would you say that this body is built on grain? Perhaps?
matthew w (57:04.039)
Heheheheheheh!
Luciano (57:05.341)
Hahaha!
spencer (57:07.125)
No, no I would not. That's insane. In grain? No, no I would not. That's insane.
matthew w (57:08.183)
Yeah
Matt (57:10.01)
What? I heard grain, great. Post it.
Luciano (57:11.966)
I heard great. Yes, you heard great and you said it yourself. You're right, I did. I'm a genius, yeah.
Matt (57:17.186)
I'm a genius. Let's, let's pivot to our questions because we've been living here the whole time, we might as well just embrace it fully. Simple questions, easy questions. And we're going to, we're going to do a segue like the professionals, like we are do, and so the first question relates to the Imperium. I want to know how the Imperium runs on a day-to-day basis.
matthew w (57:32.303)
Mm.
spencer (57:43.788)
When you wake up, you have your bowl of flour. First things first, it takes 45 minutes to an hour to take your first shit because you're so dried out. Yeah, you're sorry, your monthly shit. Monthly shit takes, everybody gets one day off to take their monthly shit.
Luciano (57:44.959)
On coal and grain.
Luciano (57:50.614)
Yeah.
Luciano (57:54.602)
Yeah. What do you mean? What do you mean your first shit? Your shit was a month. Yeah. So you wait. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like it's the it's a holiday. It's the shit. Shit day is a holiday. Yeah. So you wake up, you eat your breakfast flour.
matthew w (57:54.992)
Yeah!
matthew w (57:59.031)
Yeah, you're right. If you're elected.
matthew w (58:08.854)
Hehehehe
spencer (58:11.504)
It's all. Yeah, exactly. And.
You eat your bowl of flour, you get up, you go to work, you say goodbye to your squid wife.
Luciano (58:19.119)
Yeah.
Luciano (58:24.461)
Travel some coal.
Ha ha!
Matt (58:30.072)
Heheheheh
Luciano (58:31.655)
Our husband? We don't judge here.
matthew w (58:33.388)
Yeah.
spencer (58:33.688)
Or husband, yeah, that's true. And then you go, I mean, I guess you would, depending on if you're on a dreadnought or if you're living on the mother world.
Matt (58:46.746)
You're always on the dreadnought, sir.
matthew w (58:47.052)
Yeah.
Luciano (58:48.215)
Yeah.
spencer (58:48.952)
Does anyone live on the mother world?
Luciano (58:50.594)
At this point, there's nobody and they're all in dreadnoughts because that's the only place where there is flour and coal.
Matt (58:51.642)
No.
spencer (58:54.944)
Wow.
spencer (58:58.22)
Got it. Okay, so they're living on the Drenna. So they wake up and they go, I don't know, they go to their station, either in the coal mines or on the laser gun. Dial roller.
matthew w (58:58.243)
Mm-hmm.
Luciano (59:05.27)
Yeah, shovel some coal. Yeah.
matthew w (59:07.967)
the coal hallways.
Matt (59:09.347)
You gotta turn the dials.
Luciano (59:10.626)
You got, hey, no, but that's only if you've, if you had a good production on the coal mines, then you get to be promoted to turn in the little, the little wheels.
Matt (59:13.176)
Yeah.
Matt (59:18.222)
Yeah, that's fine. I'm just day to day, you're-
matthew w (59:20.752)
I feel like they shovel coal to even take a shit. They have to shovel coal in everything that works and runs. Grain and coal. Yeah, to power everything.
Matt (59:29.338)
Yeah, we discussed this, right? The coal powers everything on the ship outside of the engines and the guns. And the nuclear reactor, which is powered also by the coal, powers the engines and the guns.
spencer (59:29.442)
Oh, to power the toilets?
spencer (59:42.124)
Sir, sir, I believe you're you are misconstrued there. They put the coal in the garbage because they like the old ways. Everything is run on nuclear power. We've covered this.
matthew w (59:48.748)
All the way.
Luciano (59:48.946)
Yeah, exactly. It's ritualistic. It's to keep people happy.
Matt (59:54.706)
Sorry. My bad. Okay.
spencer (59:55.608)
It's ritualistic, and everyone on the ship does it.
matthew w (59:58.261)
Have we discussed the face yet? What is the face?
spencer (01:00:03.06)
We will, I think we're gonna get to the face. That's a completely different.
matthew w (01:00:05.067)
That's a whole nother thing. Okay, don't jump again. I'm sorry.
Luciano (01:00:05.354)
Yeah.
Matt (01:00:05.51)
It's a whole different question, sir. Don't jump the gun. I just wanna know the day to day for the Imperium. So basically you wake up, if it's shit day, you get to poop. If it's not shit day, you eat your.
matthew w (01:00:14.379)
Yeah. Then you go, you talk to your superior, you assassinate him, you put on his bedsheets, then you go outside and assassinate more people and then again just collect more bedsheets, I'm assuming. Because it looked like they were wearing quite a few.
Luciano (01:00:15.455)
Yeah, you better hold it in.
spencer (01:00:15.893)
Yep.
Matt (01:00:21.43)
Yeah. Okay. Yeah.
Matt (01:00:33.606)
Do you have a?
spencer (01:00:34.997)
until it's your turn to get assassinated when you get when you get high enough
matthew w (01:00:35.944)
Yes.
Matt (01:00:40.282)
Do you adopt a slave girl that you can pin it on?
matthew w (01:00:43.207)
I mean, you'd pin it on a lot of people, right? But the slave girl's probably a good one. But first you have to have her kill your child. And then, for some reason, blame her for it. Was it his kid? I don't know, I'm very lost in this. Just murder a kid. Just.
Luciano (01:00:44.206)
You have to, you're gonna have to.
Matt (01:00:47.642)
Mm-hmm.
Matt (01:00:52.764)
All right.
spencer (01:00:54.652)
Kill your child? That's not what he did. Kill a child.
Luciano (01:00:56.438)
Yeah, of course. No, but
Matt (01:01:01.962)
No, hey man, this is this is your interpretation of the video.
spencer (01:01:06.026)
Yeah, as someone who didn't see the first movie
Luciano (01:01:06.6)
Well honestly, it makes about as much sense as the movie does, so...
matthew w (01:01:08.491)
You know, you just murder a child, blame it on someone else, you know, the help, and then, you know, go back and eat some more flour for the evening. Or bathe in it.
Matt (01:01:10.179)
Yeah.
spencer (01:01:20.162)
I hope you're lucky enough to shit the next day.
Matt (01:01:20.23)
Fair enough.
Luciano (01:01:20.602)
Hey, is that, is that, is that like what whitish goo that they put noble in? Is that made of like a flower slurry or something? Nice. Too far. I'm sorry. Ha ha ha.
spencer (01:01:25.161)
Heheheheh
matthew w (01:01:29.623)
Sure.
Matt (01:01:31.402)
Yes. Why not? I think, I think, no it's not, it's fine. I think what we learn here, I don't think there's a, there are shit days, but I think it's not a designated shit day, it's a lottery system.
spencer (01:01:32.62)
Too far.
spencer (01:01:36.55)
That was the line.
matthew w (01:01:44.863)
Oh jeez. What are you?
spencer (01:01:46.404)
Oh no.
Luciano (01:01:48.274)
Oh, it's a... Right, right. But do you get assistance? Wait, do you get assistance when it's shit day or you're on your own? Like if you can't shit, you're fucked.
Matt (01:01:48.494)
And so you wake up, hope you win the shit lottery.
matthew w (01:01:50.595)
Could you imagine winning that and not having to go?
Matt (01:01:53.798)
poop today.
Matt (01:02:01.403)
You get the shit. Otherwise you gotta go out and soldier.
matthew w (01:02:02.696)
Oh.
spencer (01:02:03.552)
You know what? I just realized what it is. That when Noble is in that tank in the beginning, that's shit day. They're extracting the shit from his body.
Luciano (01:02:11.046)
shit day. There you go. Because they only eat flour, they shit like this whiteish slurry. Yeah.
matthew w (01:02:11.212)
Mmmm
Matt (01:02:15.238)
That's.
Right. You can't even shit, actually. It has to be pulled out of you.
spencer (01:02:21.245)
You can't know it gets extracted through Christmas lights
matthew w (01:02:21.638)
Yeah.
Matt (01:02:25.334)
Yeah. All right.
Luciano (01:02:26.014)
I see. Oh, now it all makes sense. No webbing. Yeah, your shit is so dense, it has like webbing inside of it.
matthew w (01:02:27.979)
Yeah, yeah, we solved it.
spencer (01:02:29.488)
and then they cover you in a webbing to contain the odor.
spencer (01:02:39.544)
Hehehe
Matt (01:02:40.176)
But the good news is they collect all the shit from everybody on the ship and that is actually the thing they fire out of the cannon to nuke planets.
matthew w (01:02:46.435)
That's a yes. The destructive force.
spencer (01:02:47.896)
Ah.
Luciano (01:02:50.987)
Is that why it takes so long to aim? Because like it's just it has resistance? Okay.
Matt (01:02:53.87)
Yeah, it's really heavy. Yeah, it's just so dense.
spencer (01:02:57.496)
It's just so dense. It's like, it weighs heavier than the heaviest substance on earth.
Luciano (01:02:59.59)
Yeah. Hahaha. It's like, it's like a collapse. It's a collapsed star at that point. Yeah.
matthew w (01:03:02.776)
Thank you.
Matt (01:03:05.348)
Yeah.
matthew w (01:03:06.88)
Launching a meteorite at the planet. Basically.
Matt (01:03:08.656)
Essentially.
spencer (01:03:10.796)
So they couldn't go off-crain if they wanted to, because they needed to run their shits at Tecral. I see.
Luciano (01:03:11.14)
Yeah.
matthew w (01:03:13.622)
I'm gonna go.
Matt (01:03:15.682)
It's entangler and that's why they were so dead sound getting this grain from the planet.
matthew w (01:03:20.407)
Yep. 100%.
spencer (01:03:21.517)
It's all making sense.
Matt (01:03:23.458)
Yeah, great. New question. I think we've answered that thoroughly and made a lot of sense, everybody. Jimmy, Jimmy the Robot.
Luciano (01:03:27.492)
Oh yeah.
matthew w (01:03:31.959)
Mmm.
spencer (01:03:34.01)
Jimmy the robot already funny
Luciano (01:03:36.882)
Or James as Cora calls him.
Matt (01:03:38.682)
James as Korra calls. Jimothy, I'm gonna call him. Jimothy, it kind of doesn't, it kind of happens in the first movie, but it kind of happens here too. Cause Jimothy, Jimothy is on a spirit quest, a walkabout, whatever, whatever else we can steal from other cultures to make this fit. I want to know, yeah, I want to know, Hiawaska, like whatever. What is,
Luciano (01:03:41.914)
Jimothy. Ha ha ha.
Luciano (01:03:52.711)
I don't know what about
spencer (01:03:53.329)
Hehehehehehe
matthew w (01:03:57.476)
on some sort of peyote robot peyote.
spencer (01:04:03.952)
Yep. I think we covered that last episode. I think we agreed he was on Ayahuasca. Yeah.
Matt (01:04:08.19)
I know, but Jimmy got way farther out. He got way farther out this time. What was he up to? What was he doing on his walkabouts? What's happening to him that is altering his mind state so aggressively?
spencer (01:04:23.936)
Well, it would appear he is killing deer indiscriminately because he always has a different antler. So he's just... how many antlers has he collected via like just... There was a scene at the end when they show him, it's like he's wearing an antler crown while holding an antler in his hand. And I was like, where is he getting all of these? Like, is he... was he just hunting them?
Luciano (01:04:24.283)
Hmm.
matthew w (01:04:27.939)
Hahaha!
Luciano (01:04:29.738)
Yeah, that's true. And a cape. And a cape.
Luciano (01:04:43.534)
Hahaha!
matthew w (01:04:43.82)
Yeah
Luciano (01:04:48.603)
He has like a clearing in the forest just full of dead deer.
matthew w (01:04:52.159)
Yeah.
spencer (01:04:53.355)
Don't ask questions.
Matt (01:04:54.638)
Well, it's pretty obvious that no one in the Imperium cares about deer, because if they did, they could use it as a food source. And that's not happening.
Luciano (01:05:03.287)
What food? How? Deer isn't made of grain. How would they? What would they eat?
spencer (01:05:03.544)
No, no, we know we already answered that. Yeah.
matthew w (01:05:04.865)
We're already into it.
Matt (01:05:08.846)
I understand, I'm just saying, like, there's a lot of deer to kill for him to make crowns out of, so... Just...
matthew w (01:05:11.948)
Hmm.
Luciano (01:05:13.286)
That's right.
spencer (01:05:13.314)
Is blood a fluid?
Luciano (01:05:16.331)
I mean, yes.
Matt (01:05:16.95)
Yeah, I think. I don't. I don't. OK, fair enough.
spencer (01:05:17.612)
then we don't eat it.
You
matthew w (01:05:21.996)
I'm like confused because didn't he admit that he like a man he killed a man in his own hands with his own bare hands or something when he was talking to Cora? He's like... Yeah okay.
spencer (01:05:32.296)
Yes. It was in self- it was in defense of a girl who was gonna be
Matt (01:05:32.366)
Yeah, he shot a guy in the first movie.
Luciano (01:05:34.372)
Yeah.
matthew w (01:05:37.14)
Was it what girl?
Luciano (01:05:37.43)
Yes. And also, isn't he was like supposed to be programmed not to be able to do that, but then he found a way to do that because he was defending her or something like that.
Matt (01:05:39.171)
And she was very pretty.
matthew w (01:05:46.474)
Mmm.
spencer (01:05:47.86)
No, they were designed to kill, to be soldiers, but then once the king died...
Luciano (01:05:52.27)
And they're really good. They're really fucking good at it too when we see him fight.
Matt (01:05:56.624)
Yeah.
spencer (01:05:56.712)
Yeah, that was kinda cool, but also kind of not as cool as I was hoping.
matthew w (01:05:59.863)
A little.
Luciano (01:05:59.97)
It was lame because every he appears and literally everybody stops and gapes. It's like, what a robot.
Matt (01:06:00.664)
Lame.
spencer (01:06:08.396)
Uh-oh! RATBRO! Hehehehehehe!
Luciano (01:06:09.907)
Yeah, right? Yeah.
matthew w (01:06:11.186)
He's also... He's also... He's also like plasma-proof or something or whatever the hell that is they're shooting, the goo that comes out of their guns.
Matt (01:06:13.503)
But yeah, no.
spencer (01:06:16.897)
Yeah.
Luciano (01:06:18.262)
Well, I don't know. Yeah, of course. Yeah. And I think he was.
Matt (01:06:18.386)
Tiny, tiny liquid shit pellets, obviously.
matthew w (01:06:22.067)
Red hot shit pellets.
spencer (01:06:25.57)
That's what color that is.
Luciano (01:06:29.014)
I think he was like going through the level of process to become a Druid. That's what he was doing. I was learning the spells and learning, like making sure he has enough wisdom on his character sheet.
spencer (01:06:40.756)
Yeah. He was opening his, opening his third eye and his fourth eye and his fifth eye, his sixth eye, he's got it. It's like, like literally, it's like, he does enough drugs and another one opens up.
matthew w (01:06:46.315)
Huffin' deer farts.
Luciano (01:06:47.67)
Yeah, well, he has like eight, so it's fine.
matthew w (01:06:51.391)
I think he was huffing deer farts. I don't even think he's a droid. I think that's going to be the twist at the end. He's just some guy who's high on bath salts running around downtown and this is what he sees. So that's all he is.
spencer (01:06:59.341)
Ha ha!
Matt (01:06:59.458)
Well, maybe like...
spencer (01:07:10.178)
This whole thing is just a homeless man wearing a cape and like deer antlers in like downtown LA in the modern day.
Luciano (01:07:11.974)
I'm sorry.
Matt (01:07:12.417)
The whole movie.
matthew w (01:07:17.119)
And this underwear is soiled underwear. Yeah, exactly. Just like the Fisher King, but way more production values.
Luciano (01:07:18.351)
Hahaha!
spencer (01:07:23.832)
I think you're gonna say the... I think you're gonna say the twist was that the princess who died is gonna be Jimmy the robot.
matthew w (01:07:32.227)
Jimmy the robot, yeah. That's it. Best ending too is like, did you think it was so easy to kill her? I'm like, yeah. She shot her in the face. But no, she's a robot.
Luciano (01:07:33.978)
Hahaha!
Luciano (01:07:45.335)
Yeah.
spencer (01:07:45.8)
Yeah, I mean, fair.
Luciano (01:07:48.634)
So does that answer your question at all, Matt? Or are we close? Or what's happening? Ha ha!
Matt (01:07:51.666)
I mean, yeah, probably. Close enough. I mean, that answer really segues nicely into our next question of why do the ships, the dreadnoughts, I'm gonna call it the core of the ship because no one explained it, have a face that eyes open when you put bombs on.
matthew w (01:07:53.335)
Sure.
spencer (01:08:10.608)
Only when you put bombs on them. It's like, heyy
Luciano (01:08:11.934)
Yeah, it's there to know where to put the bombs man. That's why it's there for. It plays bombs here. You're supposed to decorate it.
Matt (01:08:12.275)
Only when you put bombs on.
Matt (01:08:20.271)
It's a... Okay.
matthew w (01:08:22.847)
Um, just for chatting. You know, so wait, did it have more bombs on its face? Or just the one?
spencer (01:08:23.184)
I think it... It looked like pimples on its face.
Luciano (01:08:28.985)
Yeah.
spencer (01:08:31.72)
No. No, they put like, she put like six or seven.
Luciano (01:08:34.978)
Well no, she put like 10. Yeah.
matthew w (01:08:37.043)
Oh, I totally spaced out at that. I just was confused by the face and I was like, oh, yep, 100%.
spencer (01:08:41.952)
Based out.
Luciano (01:08:43.882)
Oh, you spaced out just like the soldiers who went in there looking for her and saw the thing, the bombs there. And was like, oh, that's interesting. That, it's, it's pimply. The face. Well, yeah, they were like, oh, this is so interesting. The, the, the face, the face of the reactor broke out in acne. But that's interesting. And just went on under their lives.
matthew w (01:08:48.535)
Just like...
matthew w (01:08:53.757)
Spaced out just like Jimothy on a batch salt induced assault.
matthew w (01:09:03.944)
Mmm.
matthew w (01:09:07.569)
I think...
spencer (01:09:08.14)
See, I think it's more complicated than that. I think that the dreadnought is sentient. That's its face. The coal hole is its... It had a mouth, so... It had a mouth on its face. So the coal hole is its... Okay, I was gonna say exhaust port to be classier.
Luciano (01:09:20.725)
Asshole.
matthew w (01:09:25.899)
Is it my hole?
Luciano (01:09:27.874)
It's the asshole. It's his butthole. Yeah. Same, same.
matthew w (01:09:31.761)
No.
Matt (01:09:34.161)
But there are a number of holes to shovel the coal in, do you right?
spencer (01:09:37.268)
What, you guys don't have more than one hole? Hahahaha
Luciano (01:09:37.282)
Yeah. Multiple... yeah, you only have the one?
matthew w (01:09:41.119)
Hey, it's an alien ship, you know, you never know.
Matt (01:09:42.991)
I'm just saying.
spencer (01:09:45.074)
and
it's sentient and it only wants to destroy planets and They didn't even build it. They just because it wants to blow planets. It made an alliance with the Imperium It was like you can use me to kill planets, but I get to kill planets
Luciano (01:10:02.036)
else you have to feed me coal.
spencer (01:10:04.193)
Also, you have to feed me coal even though I don't need it for energy. And
Matt (01:10:04.783)
Huh? Yeah.
matthew w (01:10:06.295)
Like the old ways.
Luciano (01:10:06.334)
Yeah. That's what it is. There you go. I think you cracked it. No, no. Yeah. It's like, I just like the taste of it. It's fine.
Matt (01:10:10.652)
I just like to observe the old ways. Yes.
spencer (01:10:12.466)
I just like the old one
matthew w (01:10:12.803)
I'm going to go ahead and turn it off.
spencer (01:10:16.22)
And even though our guns are very futuristic, I need you to manually crank them because it feels good. GGGG
Luciano (01:10:20.726)
It feels good, yeah, yeah. It's like a massage. It's a bit... Yeah, yeah, oh yeah, those are the nipples, yeah. You need to tweak my nipples if you want me to shoot. That's what he said. I only shoot with purple nipples. That's the only way I shoot. Ha ha ha.
matthew w (01:10:21.221)
So they're just basically jerking this ship off.
Matt (01:10:23.832)
Those things are my nipples. Yeah.
matthew w (01:10:29.365)
Oh.
spencer (01:10:29.484)
Hehehe
Matt (01:10:30.866)
I only shoot when I climax.
spencer (01:10:35.688)
He's like, robots like there's an enemy on the left. Shoot it. There's no enemy there. I said, shoot it. Shoot it harder. Twist it harder.
matthew w (01:10:39.338)
Oh
Luciano (01:10:42.218)
Yeah, yeah. So oh, so that's what it is. It's the it's the jizz. It's the ship's jizz. Okay. Nice. It climaxes little bits of gluten shit pellets. That's why it climaxes. Okay. As one does.
Matt (01:10:45.842)
Twist it, twist it.
matthew w (01:10:47.104)
Hahaha
Matt (01:10:51.47)
Yeah, I already said that. The ship's climaxes.
spencer (01:10:52.332)
That's W. Yeah, that's...
matthew w (01:11:00.215)
Yes.
Matt (01:11:00.914)
Mm-hmm, correct. Yeah, the ships of squirter is basically what we're getting at
spencer (01:11:01.198)
Yeah.
Don't we? Don't we all?
matthew w (01:11:05.811)
Oof.
matthew w (01:11:09.514)
Mm-hmm.
spencer (01:11:11.035)
So that's why it has a face.
Matt (01:11:11.226)
Alright, that answered questions.
Matt (01:11:18.246)
You know how in the scene where Korra, she shoots a little girl who forgives her for some reason? And then... The kid? Alright. She could have... She could have forgave her later. Anyways, it's fine.
matthew w (01:11:22.169)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
spencer (01:11:24.35)
Yes.
Luciano (01:11:26.534)
That's just so kind, Matt. That's why, yeah.
matthew w (01:11:30.115)
Because she knew she was going to get reborn as Jimmy.
spencer (01:11:31.724)
She knew she wasn't gonna die. She's... yeah. She's space Jesus, okay? It's very, very poorly written.
Luciano (01:11:38.588)
Hahaha!
Matt (01:11:41.97)
It's a metaphor. It's just like Superman. She's space Superman. I got it.
Luciano (01:11:45.162)
It's just very poorly written.
spencer (01:11:47.068)
Yeah, no superman's already space superman. He's from another planet Future Jesus Superman
Matt (01:11:51.026)
No, no, but she's different space Superman. Future past super spaceman because anyways, focus, focus here. Cause the real question here is not her. I want to know the band wore the little Heidi masks, right? The eyes wide shut masks or yeah. Yeah.
Luciano (01:11:54.224)
Ha ha!
Luciano (01:11:59.65)
No, that's X-Men. Hehehehe
spencer (01:12:11.192)
The eye mask? The Illuminati masks?
matthew w (01:12:11.553)
Yeah.
Luciano (01:12:12.021)
Oh, the Illuminati eyes. Yeah.
Matt (01:12:18.37)
And they just played a bunch of music that was very apropos to what was going on the screen. But they couldn't see it. I just want to know what instructions, like they were hired. I'm like, hey, we want to hire your band for a gig on this dreadnought we're christening. Here are the instructions. So what are those instructions they got?
Luciano (01:12:23.715)
Oh my god, that fucking scene!
spencer (01:12:23.846)
That's correct.
Luciano (01:12:32.442)
Yeah.
Luciano (01:12:37.145)
Yeah.
spencer (01:12:38.488)
Can I just say one thing before we get the instructions? I just want to say the, in the movie, they, she killed that he stabbed the king and they played like they're playing happy music at first. And then they start playing dramatic music when they start killing the king. And then she pulls a gun on, on like the serious and kills the other men. And they start playing like, like betrayal music. And it was just like that. Obviously we need to explain, but I just want to step back and say as a movie.
Matt (01:12:41.714)
Sure.
Matt (01:12:51.479)
Yeah.
Luciano (01:12:52.447)
Right.
Luciano (01:13:00.897)
Yeah.
Matt (01:13:01.926)
Thank you.
spencer (01:13:08.04)
making like uh Zack Snyder like wouldn't what are you doing like wouldn't it be cooler if it was just playing that classical music through the whole assassination and it would have been like that and tasteful and then and then the music cuts once she pulls the gun out and like the music just cuts and it gets really tense i mean it's so obvious what i'm sorry i just that really triggered me
Luciano (01:13:17.27)
No, that would, but that would have been classy and interesting. Can't have that. Yeah.
Yeah.
Luciano (01:13:30.742)
But Spencer, that would have been good filmmaking. If we're asking questions instead of answering maths, let me ask another one. Why did they go back to the 21st century to hire that quartet? Because they were dressed in like regular clothes.
matthew w (01:13:34.068)
NNNN
spencer (01:13:35.132)
yeah it's just it's just like so we're we want an inverse in universe explanation yeah
Matt (01:13:48.466)
Hey man! Hey man! No. No, no, no. Fuck you. Answer my question. Answer my question. I don't care.
spencer (01:13:51.192)
Music survived.
So, okay, the instructions were, here's 20 bucks, you just, just play, just each, and a lifetime supply of grain, which is much more valuable.
Luciano (01:14:00.51)
Each, each, right?
Matt (01:14:05.606)
Sorry, Spencer. I- I just assumed there was a $20 voucher at the flower store.
Luciano (01:14:06.071)
and live trace a product.
spencer (01:14:12.402)
Sorry, yes. Is there any other store? That's currency.
matthew w (01:14:12.511)
But the grade repository.
Luciano (01:14:12.906)
Oh yeah, that's true. No, it was it was a voucher for grain. It was $20 worth of grain. Yeah
Matt (01:14:16.782)
Yeah. Yep.
matthew w (01:14:18.027)
Yeah.
spencer (01:14:19.284)
Yeah, but that's the only store that exists. So they get there. Here's $20 in grain in grain coin. The hottest due crypto.
spencer (01:14:32.241)
Play, play, just play, just play during the whole thing and you know, just go with the flow, just match the vibe, you know, we want it to be seamless.
Luciano (01:14:40.69)
Yeah, yeah, that was gonna say they were like, okay, you're not gonna be able to see anything because they're gonna put masks on you for some reason. But you're gonna be able to hear everything. So I need you to match the vibe. If things are cool, just play, you know, some calm music. And then maybe some killing is gonna happen. I don't know, it might. And if there's some stabbing, like maybe play something a little bit more dramatic, right? A little stabby, if you will.
spencer (01:15:01.832)
If there's some stabbing sounds?
Matt (01:15:08.321)
Stay.
spencer (01:15:09.076)
No, no, what happened was it all makes sense now. They didn't say there was gonna be stabbings because they didn't want them to know what they were doing. That's why they have the bags on their heads so they couldn't see the assassination. They said, we are gonna be aggressive. So if you hear some knife entering people, the turkey is live and speaks and has a voice. So if you hear, if you...
matthew w (01:15:19.583)
Thank you.
Luciano (01:15:19.713)
Right.
Luciano (01:15:30.114)
Wait, wait, if you hear some knives entering people, the turkey is the one. What?
matthew w (01:15:34.547)
I feel like at the end of this-
spencer (01:15:36.084)
Yeah, they're just saying we're We're preparing a fancy dinner. We're eating lots of things not grain if what you wouldn't and just play along It's play the music the whole just go with the vibes. Okay
Luciano (01:15:48.664)
You wouldn't understand!
matthew w (01:15:50.117)
I feel like at the end of that whole explanation, all of them would be like, hey, we're no strangers, this isn't our first orgy, we know what's going on. Stabbing, sex, whatever. Music, we got you.
spencer (01:16:00.216)
Yeah, yeah, yeah. We don't judge. Yeah, we've seen eyes wide shut.
Luciano (01:16:00.278)
Yeah
matthew w (01:16:03.531)
You know Judge, do we need raincoats? Are we gonna get wet? Let's see. Yeah!
Luciano (01:16:05.586)
Man, no. Yeah, exactly. They're like, we're specialized. We're specialized quartet. We will go by sound and we will, we will match the vibe. You don't you worry.
matthew w (01:16:11.539)
No, no, no. They're from...
They're from a planet of nothing but orgies and they're like the top brand, top band, and they were being brought in specifically for that. And they were just like, yes, this is what we do. Sound effects wet.
Luciano (01:16:26.222)
Hmm
spencer (01:16:30.816)
What's their... what's their band name?
Luciano (01:16:33.995)
Yeah, what's the name of the band?
matthew w (01:16:36.451)
Uh, it's called Matthias Bloodstache and uh, and, and company.
Matt (01:16:36.456)
Good question.
Luciano (01:16:42.362)
Oh, and the leader is right here with us!
spencer (01:16:43.125)
Oh, it's your band! Oh, it's all making sense now. And if you want to sign us, just go to math We do weddings.
matthew w (01:16:44.355)
I'm sorry.
Luciano (01:16:48.271)
It's Matthias, Matthias blood. It's no, it's Matthias blood station. His blue caps. That's the name of this.
matthew w (01:16:55.239)
Listen, sometimes we don't have the bags, so we just hire Jeff Healy.
spencer (01:17:02.056)
I thought the band was putted in with violins.
Luciano (01:17:02.45)
Oh no! Yeah, I mean, Jeff Healy would need the bags.
Matt (01:17:04.134)
I don't know why.
matthew w (01:17:06.267)
No, no, he sees everything.
spencer (01:17:08.624)
That's that's true. Jeff Healy catching strays, per usual.
Matt (01:17:09.402)
Wow. Too far.
Luciano (01:17:13.662)
Yeah, as usual.
matthew w (01:17:17.471)
Can we just all agree all films would be better with his soundtrack?
spencer (01:17:17.888)
He's just such an easy target, guys.
Luciano (01:17:21.11)
Yeah, he can't dodge. He can't dodge. He doesn't know when to dodge.
matthew w (01:17:24.535)
Just saying.
spencer (01:17:25.068)
For sure.
matthew w (01:17:27.912)
I would be much more comfortable with that.
spencer (01:17:29.272)
So that is, I think that answers your question.
Matt (01:17:29.558)
Okay, fair enough. Um, yeah, no, we nailed it. That's definitely what happened. That's great.
Luciano (01:17:30.523)
Did that answer your question, man?
spencer (01:17:33.6)
We got it, we got it.
Matt (01:17:38.724)
Uh, different question. Switching gears.
spencer (01:17:42.816)
I like when you say different question to introduce the next question. Different question! That's so good.
Luciano (01:17:46.182)
I'm out.
matthew w (01:17:46.454)
Hehehehehehe
Matt (01:17:47.054)
It's the only way. It's the only way to do this. I just don't want people to come to the next question with the mindset of the last question. Like this question, it got a little sexual, a little confusing. And so I wanted to come to a, I wanted to have that hard break so people know that we're not thinking that way with this question. Yeah. So anyways, the question is not, completely not related to the last question.
Luciano (01:18:01.131)
What? That never happened.
Luciano (01:18:07.482)
Hard, nice.
matthew w (01:18:08.674)
Mm-hmm.
spencer (01:18:08.724)
Ah.
Matt (01:18:15.834)
What's going on between Nemesis and that blonde kid?
spencer (01:18:18.28)
Oh boy. I mean, I will say I was watching that movie and they definitely gave me, I know, listen, I, we know she lost her kid. The three of us know I lost her kid in the first movie and this is, and this is clearly like a pseudo son thing that they're trying to infer, but I got strong Anakin Padme vibes from their relationship. And I think, I think
Luciano (01:18:19.802)
Jesus Christ.
matthew w (01:18:33.068)
I had no idea.
Matt (01:18:34.682)
Yes.
Luciano (01:18:36.312)
Yeah.
matthew w (01:18:43.635)
Oh yeah.
Luciano (01:18:43.893)
Yeah, yeah.
spencer (01:18:48.54)
I think that's the filmmakers fault.
Luciano (01:18:53.274)
What?
spencer (01:18:54.764)
What?
Matt (01:18:55.058)
Sure, I don't know Nemesis or Bay Duna, I haven't seen her act in any other films so I don't know. But you generally can't stare emotionlessly at a kid and then smirk once and make me assume that you just miss having children. A little bit more nuance is required.
matthew w (01:19:13.072)
Yes.
spencer (01:19:14.109)
Yeah.
Luciano (01:19:15.714)
Yeah, I mean, you're going to make me assume you miss having children, but in a different way. That's what you're going to make me assume.
matthew w (01:19:21.855)
Yeah. You miss...I'm going to assume that you own a white van.
spencer (01:19:24.846)
It was also weird when you put a baby in me.
Luciano (01:19:31.622)
I'm sure, okay. Yeah, I think it was...
spencer (01:19:34.412)
I just, and then it really.
matthew w (01:19:35.339)
I'm going to assume that this planet does not have child services.
It's the old way. It's true.
Matt (01:19:41.762)
It's the old ways, old enough to... Sorry, too far?
spencer (01:19:42.612)
It's the... Oh God! You know what they say... If there's grain growing on their heads... That's all. Get her done! And there's also that weird scene where the little kid says, I hate sand. It's rough and it's coarse and it gets everywhere. And I was like, uh-oh!
Luciano (01:19:45.636)
Oh no! Oh no!
Luciano (01:19:53.25)
What? Giver! Yeah. Giver! That's...yeah. Giver.
matthew w (01:19:53.987)
If there's grain!
Matt (01:19:54.854)
Giver!
Luciano (01:20:08.307)
It's chorus and gets everywhere. Yeah No well Well, you know that in the in the third movie Hayden Christensen is gonna play that kid, right? for sure For sure
Matt (01:20:08.338)
It's cars. Yeah.
spencer (01:20:12.429)
I know where this is going.
matthew w (01:20:17.795)
Hmm. Full sacalicious?
spencer (01:20:24.061)
And he's gonna be what Hayden Christensen's age of like 45 and she's gonna be like 80 Okay
matthew w (01:20:26.755)
I'm out.
Luciano (01:20:28.491)
Yeah, exactly. No, no, she doesn't age. She doesn't age because she cut off her hands. So she doesn't age anymore. Yeah.
matthew w (01:20:30.646)
Yep.
Proof!
spencer (01:20:36.568)
She's got, ah, she's got robot hands. For hand chippers. For robot, sorry, okay. No, we're done. Not going there. I'm stopping myself.
matthew w (01:20:38.688)
Mmmm
Luciano (01:20:42.694)
I'm out.
matthew w (01:20:43.412)
I'm out.
Matt (01:20:45.919)
Hahahaha
Luciano (01:20:49.734)
HAHAHAHA
Matt (01:20:50.715)
Not going there after you already went there.
Luciano (01:20:52.862)
Yeah, I'm gonna stop myself. I'm gonna stop myself now that I've crossed entirely this line and took a few more steps
spencer (01:20:53.094)
No, I'm retracting my statement.
matthew w (01:20:53.697)
I'm sorry.
spencer (01:21:00.037)
Listen, I know when the train is going off the tracks and I want to just reverse it back onto the tracks if that is at all possible.
Matt (01:21:01.074)
Yes, sir.
Matt (01:21:07.602)
Spencer, I have a follow up unrelated question to this. Next question, if you will. Are Nemesis's swords red because she's hand-dribbling constantly?
spencer (01:21:10.62)
Yeah. Okay.
Luciano (01:21:11.284)
Oh no.
matthew w (01:21:17.143)
Ha ha ha!
spencer (01:21:20.989)
What's that?
Matt (01:21:21.455)
and the source they got a red glow instead of the blue go.
matthew w (01:21:25.027)
How aggressive is she doing it though?
spencer (01:21:26.67)
It's like, I mean, that doesn't mean she's going hard. It's powered by it's gibber technology. Is that what you're saying?
Matt (01:21:29.414)
Very aggressively.
matthew w (01:21:31.258)
Do you?
matthew w (01:21:35.671)
You're pretty sick.
Matt (01:21:35.93)
Yeah, Jibber Tech.
spencer (01:21:36.972)
It protects the future. It's taking over coal. At a lightning pace.
Luciano (01:21:37.01)
Jubertec It runs it runs it runs on it runs on grain
Matt (01:21:40.43)
Yup.
matthew w (01:21:46.891)
They'll get rid of those turny knobs and then you can just get...
spencer (01:21:47.32)
The only way I think the answer to that is yes.
Luciano (01:21:51.318)
Yeah, yeah, Gazers clearly asked.
matthew w (01:21:52.827)
Mm.
spencer (01:21:54.024)
He has the robot ship got an upgrade and now to run the guns you gotta You gotta turn them with the fan jibber-tack To the left The future is now
Matt (01:21:54.743)
All right, great question.
matthew w (01:21:56.366)
No.
Luciano (01:22:02.296)
Ha!
Matt (01:22:05.042)
Hehehehe
matthew w (01:22:07.491)
HAHAHA
Luciano (01:22:09.741)
Yeah, it's based on the same technology of the dreadnought and the nipples.
matthew w (01:22:12.66)
Yeah, nope.
spencer (01:22:13.909)
Yeah.
Matt (01:22:14.542)
Yep, Shipper Tech, check it out.
Luciano (01:22:16.969)
It's all Jubertech.
spencer (01:22:19.692)
Invest now!
Matt (01:22:21.723)
Next question. Underrelated. You know, you know, we, Tarek has his flashback where we see that all his bird, bird friends get murdered.
matthew w (01:22:22.147)
Oh f-
Luciano (01:22:22.211)
Hahaha!
spencer (01:22:32.539)
I'm already laughing. It's so stupid.
Luciano (01:22:38.004)
Yeah.
Matt (01:22:38.583)
Where did Terrick get his little hat?
matthew w (01:22:39.692)
Ha ha!
spencer (01:22:40.497)
I knew it was gonna be the 1930s weird
Luciano (01:22:42.586)
Yeah.
Matt (01:22:44.038)
Ha ha ha!
matthew w (01:22:44.289)
You look like a s-
Luciano (01:22:45.67)
Why why I want to know why was it like just slightly tilted too and looking like it was like
matthew w (01:22:51.359)
Well, I thought he was like... I thought he was just leaving and it just happened to be in a war zone. He's like, listen, Ma, I gotta go work for the grain depository in ye old England.
spencer (01:22:53.436)
What?
spencer (01:23:03.137)
I don't know.
Luciano (01:23:03.594)
Yeah, and his mom went, okay son, I gotta go suicide. Bye!
matthew w (01:23:07.155)
Yeah, I'm just gonna tell you. Listen, I know this one fishing village that give out great hand drippers. It's just amazing.
Luciano (01:23:17.636)
Oh, is that where she was jumping? Ah, Nemesis's fishing village was below the palace there. There you go.
matthew w (01:23:18.24)
Yup, yup, yup. Bye, peace out.
spencer (01:23:18.464)
Bye!
matthew w (01:23:24.023)
Mmm. I mean, sense.
spencer (01:23:27.668)
Um, he, he looked like he was going to do a prohibition era like heist to
Luciano (01:23:35.759)
Or some dame was going to walk into his PI office.
Matt (01:23:37.49)
Thanks for watching!
spencer (01:23:40.212)
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Haven't seen you around here. Hey, girl. What's a- what's a- what's a dame like you doing in a dive like this? Yeah, I-
matthew w (01:23:41.939)
Or he was gonna get visited by three ghosts. That'll make him feel better.
Luciano (01:23:48.632)
Yeah, I could tell that was a gal. That was a gal that was trouble. Yeah. Oh, she jumped. Oh damn. She jumped. Nevermind.
matthew w (01:23:50.253)
Yeah.
Hehehehe
matthew w (01:23:58.636)
Thank you.
spencer (01:24:01.261)
Her legs went all the way over his. Special kind of woman. But the question is what.
Luciano (01:24:04.215)
Yeah.
matthew w (01:24:05.539)
She's got some pins on her.
Luciano (01:24:07.274)
Also, I like how his planet set the birds to fight the ships. Like that would do anything.
matthew w (01:24:13.075)
Yeah. Yeah, yeah. It seemed oddly effective though. They were taking them down. They were doing a good.
spencer (01:24:17.224)
They were working.
spencer (01:24:22.068)
Yeah, so his plan was like, I mean, but realistically, like, I actually don't mind the idea of like a weird 1930s futuristic planet. The thing that makes it so odd is that he looks like, like the fucking Leonidas from Sparta the rest of the movie. And Eddie, he's like, oh, my home planet where I'm fully barbarian. They're like, where are you from? I'm from 19. I'm from the 1930s.
Luciano (01:24:22.807)
I mean, it is the Imperium.
Matt (01:24:37.106)
Thanks for watching!
matthew w (01:24:39.372)
Yeah.
Luciano (01:24:40.774)
Yeah, yeah. He's like full barbarian shirtless like, yeah, yeah. And then we I was so confused. Yeah.
Matt (01:24:40.786)
Thanks for watching!
spencer (01:24:51.312)
I'm from 1930s, war time, back in my old town, I wore a funny hat, and a button up shirt. They're like, where'd your shirt go? He's like, I lost it in the wall.
matthew w (01:24:57.731)
I'm going to go.
Luciano (01:24:57.786)
Hahaha
So to answer your question, to answer your question Matt.
Matt (01:25:01.514)
I must, yes, I must insist you answer where he got that little hat from.
Luciano (01:25:06.178)
It was his 12th birthday present. And he got it at that size. It was like ridiculously huge. And he had to wear those to prevent the birds from pecking his head. That's why.
spencer (01:25:06.474)
Alright.
Luciano (01:25:25.594)
The birds recognize the hat as the owner.
Matt (01:25:26.086)
I mean, fair. Yeah.
matthew w (01:25:29.461)
I would say.
Matt (01:25:31.09)
The hat wearer owns the birds? Is that what you're saying?
Luciano (01:25:32.97)
Yes, yeah. That's why he had to tame the bird in the other movie. Because he didn't have his hat. Where is your hat? Yeah, exactly. Exactly, exactly.
matthew w (01:25:39.196)
I would say it's a family heirloom.
spencer (01:25:40.16)
He walked up to the birds like, where's your hat? Listen, I don't want any trouble. Well then put the hat on. Listen bird, I just come to talk. If you wanna talk, put on your hat.
Matt (01:25:45.99)
Ha ha.
matthew w (01:25:48.039)
Yeah. I would think that hat was a family heirloom. He's like, my father used to have this hat when he was back in the shoeshine down in old London town. And then he gave it to his son, who gave it to his daddy, who gave it to my mama, who then gave it to me. Now I'm going to go off and earn me a paycheck. That's how it came about.
Luciano (01:26:02.379)
Hahaha!
Matt (01:26:09.158)
So is this like the crown of Bird World?
matthew w (01:26:11.659)
Oh, that's right. Yeah, it does look deflated and like something a bird would have.
Luciano (01:26:12.429)
Oh, there you go. Now you're nail-less, yeah.
spencer (01:26:15.328)
I got it from my father.
Luciano (01:26:18.589)
Heaviest head wears the slightly crooked tilted weird hat.
matthew w (01:26:21.751)
floppy hat.
Matt (01:26:23.779)
Okay.
spencer (01:26:24.056)
I got he got us that hat from his father Andy Dufresne Andy Dufresne walked through a mile of shit came out clean on the other side We're wearing a stupid hat he gave to his son
matthew w (01:26:28.131)
I'm sorry.
Luciano (01:26:29.55)
HAHAHAHAHAHA
Matt (01:26:30.09)
Ha ha.
matthew w (01:26:33.914)
Indeed.
Luciano (01:26:34.446)
Hahaha!
Matt (01:26:36.134)
I really like how you shoehorned in your fucking impression. We had no business being here. Yeah.
matthew w (01:26:41.951)
I'm gonna let it fit.
spencer (01:26:42.682)
My Morgan Freeman impression? I do not know what y'all saying. Andy Dufresne. All right. He gave to his son.
Luciano (01:26:48.838)
No.
matthew w (01:26:48.954)
You did doofra.
Matt (01:26:51.493)
Uh, great.
matthew w (01:26:52.683)
Hahaha!
Matt (01:26:55.126)
What if... so the other option I thought was is it some sort of like yarmulke inspired religious item?
Luciano (01:27:02.69)
Wait, are you saying, are you saying Tarik is Jewish?
Matt (01:27:06.21)
Not Jewish, but whatever the bird world versions. Yeah, space Jewish, yeah.
Luciano (01:27:07.446)
Space Jewish, space Jewish. Maybe he's the one with the space lasers.
matthew w (01:27:11.257)
Mmm, he is cut.
spencer (01:27:13.516)
Hmm
Luciano (01:27:15.866)
What does that mean?
spencer (01:27:19.446)
the just read
Matt (01:27:19.717)
Yeah
Luciano (01:27:24.194)
Yes, Jews. Famous, famous, famous for being cut. Not in that way!
spencer (01:27:28.948)
for the raps yeah
matthew w (01:27:33.507)
It's in the extended cut. What's that? Yep. It's the extended edition.
Matt (01:27:33.552)
In that way. Blood stash. Yes, it's thorough.
Luciano (01:27:34.743)
Oh god.
spencer (01:27:40.156)
In the extended cut, you see his cut.
spencer (01:27:46.872)
I'm gonna go to bed.
Luciano (01:27:49.012)
moil, the space moil. Yeah, okay. Yeah. It's 25 minutes that scene in the extended cut.
matthew w (01:27:49.227)
I'm not sure. Definitely.
spencer (01:27:49.896)
There's the moil scene. The famous moil scene.
Matt (01:27:50.368)
Yeah.
spencer (01:27:59.174)
You wear that hat until you get cut and then you take it off to show you've been trimmed.
Matt (01:27:59.319)
Um, other questions?
matthew w (01:28:02.139)
I don't know.
Luciano (01:28:02.75)
HAHAHAHA! Wait, so he was cut when he was like 40? Is that what you're saying? HAHAHA!
Matt (01:28:03.174)
Wow.
spencer (01:28:06.769)
Yeah, when he was like 35. You wear the hat and the turtleneck. You take it off.
Luciano (01:28:11.971)
Oh god.
Luciano (01:28:17.462)
And you lose both at the same time.
Matt (01:28:17.828)
Hahahaha
matthew w (01:28:20.18)
Ugh.
Luciano (01:28:22.79)
Jesus Christ. Yeah, that tracks.
matthew w (01:28:25.291)
Yep.
Matt (01:28:26.834)
Great, I'm glad we established that. I do have other questions. One, it's a simple one I think. What's a chorus deal?
spencer (01:28:27.835)
So, Rebel Moon!
Luciano (01:28:30.199)
haha
Luciano (01:28:41.458)
Just in general?
Matt (01:28:43.414)
Yeah.
spencer (01:28:44.364)
She's the Scargiver. For some reason.
Luciano (01:28:46.53)
She's the curse of Santana.
matthew w (01:28:48.739)
She's a terrible... She has a terrible moral compass. She's out there shooting children, sparing ballsackalicious. She's not killing good hard-working doctors just because. She's got a weird...
Luciano (01:28:50.422)
Um
spencer (01:28:52.472)
Cough
Luciano (01:28:52.862)
I don't know, it's...
Luciano (01:29:00.726)
Yeah, she has she has a weird sort of like she has a weird sort of handicap fighting against specific people like she can mow down Like a bunch of people like we've seen in the first movie where she kills like about six soldiers seven soldiers But then when she has to fight noble, she just forgets all her training Gets completely fucked But yeah, but it's not because of that she just doesn't know what to do. She just waits until he punches her
spencer (01:29:02.124)
Killin' medics.
matthew w (01:29:18.701)
Mmm.
spencer (01:29:19.58)
No, Noble's a fucking cyborg.
spencer (01:29:26.78)
No, he's... Do you see him fighting those like guys underground while the other all the other soldiers are inept idiots?
Luciano (01:29:32.206)
That wasn't really... Yeah, he was the T1000. 100%.
matthew w (01:29:33.293)
Mmm.
Matt (01:29:34.885)
Yeah.
spencer (01:29:37.46)
Yeah, so that's like comparatively when she's fighting the other guys. He's comparatively like the two T 1000 because of how bad they are.
Luciano (01:29:45.5)
But then Gunnar kills him. How do you account for that? Ha ha ha.
spencer (01:29:47.848)
Yeah, but I mean, yes, I give up. I give up. You win.
matthew w (01:29:49.303)
Did he kill him now? I mean the hedge?
Luciano (01:29:56.57)
Hahaha!
spencer (01:29:59.432)
I mean, I would say that the...
Luciano (01:30:00.27)
I don't know what's called a chorus or Arthur Lay's deal is.
matthew w (01:30:03.32)
Hmm.
spencer (01:30:04.48)
Maybe she's mad her name's Arthelaeus.
Luciano (01:30:08.28)
Yeah, I would understand for sure.
spencer (01:30:10.74)
I mean, again, blood stash, you didn't see this, but in the first movie, the people kill her world like they kill every other world. Right. And then and then. Balsac Alicius is there and he she like is going to shoot him then too. And he's like. I don't remember why, but she doesn't she doesn't shoot him.
matthew w (01:30:20.139)
Mmm.
Luciano (01:30:21.878)
And Balasarius is there this time. He's there on the ground. Yeah.
matthew w (01:30:22.981)
Mmm. Hehehehe.
Luciano (01:30:32.85)
Oh yeah, with the, with the laser gun that has like a hammer, like a regular revolver, remember that she cocks it and then he should just like uncocks it again and he picks her up and, and yeah, and adopter. Yeah. Only bad, only bad.
spencer (01:30:38.716)
Yes, good, yes.
matthew w (01:30:42.143)
Yeah, it's a... Like a Thanos thing. Yeah. It was basically Thanos. What did it cost you? Everything. All the grain.
spencer (01:30:43.272)
Yeah, so he so he adopts her. Yeah, it was exactly like then.
Like everything from this movie, it's clipped. Yeah. Like, yeah, like every idea in this movie, it's a poorer version of something from another movie.
Luciano (01:30:55.706)
From other movies, yes.
matthew w (01:31:01.311)
It's been better executed everywhere else.
Luciano (01:31:01.614)
And he raises her. She joins. She does the Imperial military, which I fuck. Fuck you, Zack Snyder. He also he also says Mechanicus military.
spencer (01:31:05.994)
Yes.
matthew w (01:31:09.995)
Military.
Matt (01:31:14.257)
Sorry, it's Zach Snatterham. Thank you very much.
matthew w (01:31:15.851)
Scenario.
Luciano (01:31:17.034)
Snyderum, yes, you're right. That's his that's his vulgar Latin name. Snyderum, Snyderium, yeah. And and then she trains to be a weapon and then she becomes a decorated soldier and then she becomes the princess's bodyguard and she shoots her. That's basically her deal.
spencer (01:31:17.978)
It's sex, it's Snyderium.
Matt (01:31:22.043)
Ezekium Sniderium
spencer (01:31:24.721)
Yes.
matthew w (01:31:24.836)
fight.
spencer (01:31:37.244)
Yes. And then they don't like her for all that because she's an off-worlder. Whatever. So her deal is she's easily... the question is her deal...
Luciano (01:31:42.79)
She's an off-worlder, out-worlder, yeah, yeah.
matthew w (01:31:45.859)
Could she be?
Matt (01:31:47.758)
Racism. Perfect. No, we're actually on, what's Core's deal? We're actually on pace for once.
Luciano (01:31:48.511)
Wait, what was the question, man?
Luciano (01:31:54.067)
Okay, okay.
spencer (01:31:54.112)
Her deal is she's easily manipulated and she does what she's basically told by whoever she's with.
Luciano (01:31:58.112)
Yes.
matthew w (01:32:00.804)
Mm-hmm. Yeah, I'm just.
Luciano (01:32:01.484)
Yeah.
spencer (01:32:03.673)
I'd say that's pretty apt.
Luciano (01:32:05.33)
That's why she went after Tidus, because she was like, I'm not gonna lead this shit. Let's get the worst possible general in the world to lead us.
matthew w (01:32:08.705)
I-
spencer (01:32:09.953)
Yeah.
matthew w (01:32:12.051)
I'm just literally thinking about whether or not she could make it at the Roadhouse as like a bouncer or if she just straight up get like fired by Patrick Swayze.
spencer (01:32:13.952)
He got his whole crew nubed.
Matt (01:32:21.53)
Great question.
Luciano (01:32:23.018)
which roadhouse yeah so patrick's race is no way she could make it
matthew w (01:32:28.566)
No.
Matt (01:32:30.106)
So this is my question in the, this is good because this is actually an important question I had. Swayze versus Cora versus Gyllenhaal. Who wins and who, yeah, first, second, third. Who eats the most flour?
spencer (01:32:40.792)
chill at all.
matthew w (01:32:41.492)
Mmm.
Luciano (01:32:42.786)
Hmm
Luciano (01:32:46.596)
Who eats more grain?
spencer (01:32:50.98)
Do they all have mullets or just a Swayze?
Luciano (01:32:55.63)
Well, Cora cuts her mullet off, which is a bad move.
Matt (01:32:56.319)
Well.
matthew w (01:32:57.587)
Yeah, so she's rocking a mullet.
Matt (01:32:58.786)
Yeah. Bro, real. Poor move, yeah.
matthew w (01:33:03.659)
I think
spencer (01:33:04.268)
So in this scenario, she has a mullet? Because that's important.
Luciano (01:33:04.299)
Uh...
Matt (01:33:07.894)
Yes, we'll give everyone's optimal peak power. Let's make this exciting.
matthew w (01:33:11.479)
Kora and Gyllenhaal? So I would say Swayze loses because Gyllenhaal goes and has a beer with Kora in the, on a sandbar in the middle of the ocean. And then they team up with the alligator and they beat up Patrick Swayze.
spencer (01:33:12.492)
Okay, so they all have mullets.
Luciano (01:33:12.666)
So I think Swayze like.
spencer (01:33:20.044)
Delete him.
Luciano (01:33:31.334)
I disagree. I think Cora... I think Cora...
spencer (01:33:32.308)
I agree with all that except for the beating up Swayze part.
matthew w (01:33:34.167)
But then the Gator pulls a switch and is like, no, I love Patrick Swayze. And then the two of them take them out. That's how it happens. And then the Swayze and the Gator fall in love. Yeah.
Luciano (01:33:44.238)
But it's a more even fight because it's two on two then.
matthew w (01:33:48.395)
I just think this ends with Patrick Swayze marrying a gator.
Luciano (01:33:50.459)
I was going to say... Okay, no, I think I see it. Yeah.
matthew w (01:33:52.902)
Ha ha!
spencer (01:33:53.78)
I mean, I think that, I think we were all getting to that. If, if, I mean, that was, that was given.
matthew w (01:33:56.146)
Yeah.
Matt (01:33:57.152)
Yeah.
matthew w (01:33:58.591)
And then an octopus comes out and they all have tentacle sex for 25 minutes.
Luciano (01:34:03.734)
No, no, that's then you're going to make Noble jealous and that that's not going to work. Yeah.
matthew w (01:34:08.137)
Right?
Matt (01:34:08.494)
No, it was not in this in this Trist.
spencer (01:34:10.424)
Hold on guys, I'm writing this down. For later.
Luciano (01:34:13.555)
Hahaha!
Matt (01:34:15.065)
But what I want to know is does Swayze use gibber tech to get this done?
matthew w (01:34:17.035)
Yeah
spencer (01:34:18.773)
Hmm
Luciano (01:34:20.237)
Of course, it's the 80s. He has to.
matthew w (01:34:20.703)
Is that how you tug out the throat with the ultimate gibber-tec technique?
Matt (01:34:22.618)
Yeah, that's fair. Oh yeah.
Yeah, yeah, she's a real.
Luciano (01:34:26.742)
Yeah, he has the same gauntlets that Nemesis has. That's how he does that.
spencer (01:34:26.998)
Grab, grab him.
Matt (01:34:32.814)
Yeah.
spencer (01:34:32.832)
No, he grabs the throat and then he goes up and down at such a fast speed that it rips the throat out. It's the original, it's the original Jibber-Tec.
matthew w (01:34:34.827)
I'm out.
Luciano (01:34:37.99)
Hahaha!
Matt (01:34:41.177)
That's the first known usage of Gibraltar Q-Record. Okay, so I think we've answered the question of what's Core's deal. I think that all encompasses it nicely.
matthew w (01:34:42.272)
right there.
matthew w (01:34:47.953)
Hahaha
Luciano (01:34:48.922)
Sure, sure, yeah. Clear as mud now.
Matt (01:34:53.106)
Yeah, no, it's fine. Let's see, what else do we have on this list? We answered the call thing. Uh.
spencer (01:35:00.184)
We certainly did.
Luciano (01:35:01.194)
We did? Hahaha! There you go, that... Yeah, the old ways.
Matt (01:35:03.086)
Probably we talked enough about it the old ways. Yeah the old ways Yeah Oh Hey, I want if two dreadnoughts went toe-to-toe in space. How would that play out?
spencer (01:35:04.459)
Old ways, old ways.
matthew w (01:35:05.507)
They're all-
matthew w (01:35:20.163)
Fighting or fucking?
spencer (01:35:21.032)
to satisfied sentient robots.
Luciano (01:35:21.55)
Hmm, I think yeah, I was gonna say it depends on who is the fastest to come. That's really the question. Yeah, yeah, but they're sentient, right? There's bound to be physiological differences between them. So yeah, maybe the younger one won't be as controlled and will come first and win.
Matt (01:35:25.512)
Yes.
spencer (01:35:25.964)
Hehehe
spencer (01:35:30.086)
God damn you.
Matt (01:35:31.163)
They all got gibber-tacks, sir.
matthew w (01:35:31.179)
Hahaha!
matthew w (01:35:38.039)
I think one's just packing more guns.
spencer (01:35:40.168)
Listen, no, like.
matthew w (01:35:46.579)
Oh yeah, because the older one would definitely have whiskey dick. It just wouldn't be able to perform.
spencer (01:35:47.746)
Listen.
spencer (01:35:51.849)
Yeah, I'll...
Matt (01:35:52.323)
I'm sorry.
matthew w (01:35:53.024)
Yes.
Luciano (01:35:53.192)
Whiskey gun, whiskey gun.
Luciano (01:35:57.579)
Hahaha.
spencer (01:35:59.51)
like
Matt (01:35:59.826)
I do want to add that in this scenario they know they're going to space combat, so maybe the only one who could refrain from drinking for a couple of days.
matthew w (01:36:08.448)
Mmm.
spencer (01:36:09.772)
Listen.
Luciano (01:36:10.438)
You don't know how hard his days are man. You're gonna make him give up the one thing that gets him going? Come on.
spencer (01:36:15.24)
Laser rifle dysfunction is something that happens to everybody. It's nothing to be ashamed of.
Luciano (01:36:18.539)
Yeah, eventually.
matthew w (01:36:22.327)
So
Matt (01:36:23.734)
Is that so? No, actually that makes sense because I think the coal shoveling is part of the old ways in the sense that the old guys need the coal to help soak up all the alcohol and be able to fire off their cannons.
Luciano (01:36:35.467)
Oh, right, right. So are you saying the newer
matthew w (01:36:36.271)
Mm-hmm.
spencer (01:36:38.656)
Matt, I just, I don't, I, sorry. Matt, I'm sorry to jump in, but we've already covered this. The coal goes in the garbage. That's the old ways. It's, we've already, it run on, it's running on nuclear power.
matthew w (01:36:45.676)
Hahaha!
Matt (01:36:48.899)
I'm out.
Luciano (01:36:49.846)
He's fucking standing by this. It's straight, it's straight to the garbage.
Matt (01:36:52.59)
Ha ha
matthew w (01:36:54.903)
That's...
spencer (01:36:55.793)
Yeah, it goes straight into the trash.
Matt (01:36:57.05)
You know... Okay, so the old ships don't go in the trash to get the coal?
Luciano (01:37:00.196)
Like literally, they're literally shoving it into the garbage disposal. That's what they're doing. Yeah.
matthew w (01:37:00.257)
Hehe
spencer (01:37:02.108)
Now. Yes.
Matt (01:37:05.33)
OK, just a second. So the old face doesn't just slide down there and sniff up some coal by accident. OK, it's fair. Just asking questions. We don't have that track.
spencer (01:37:09.508)
No. No, no.
Luciano (01:37:09.622)
No, no, no. That's what the grain's for.
spencer (01:37:14.741)
That sounds like the new way type of thinking and we don't have that. Okay?
matthew w (01:37:18.691)
I don't know, I feel like it would take them like four to five years to aim at each other and then try to fire. Like they just wouldn't be able to do it. Oh, maybe there's a little ship. Hold on, there's a little ship that comes out. The one ship shoots the little ship and then has to shoot the big ship, but can't because it has bad hair.
Luciano (01:37:26.423)
Yeah.
spencer (01:37:27.53)
Yeah, like I'm-
Matt (01:37:28.078)
Like, how fast are these?
Luciano (01:37:31.182)
You know what it is?
spencer (01:37:41.612)
No.
Luciano (01:37:41.918)
Wait, what? What?
matthew w (01:37:42.291)
Like, balls start delicious.
Matt (01:37:42.366)
I thought that the little ship helped. I thought that a little ship came out and helped the bigger ships fire faster through gibber tech. I think it's a fluffer ship. Yeah.
Luciano (01:37:52.31)
Wait, is this a fluffership?
matthew w (01:37:53.335)
Oh, you- Oh, so it's- Powered by Nemesis? I think so. Let me go get my hoods. I work better when I don't see it.
spencer (01:37:55.544)
This... Should we get the sex... Should we get Bloodstache's sex band for this battle?
Matt (01:38:02.546)
Yeah.
Luciano (01:38:03.646)
We have to.
spencer (01:38:05.472)
Get your violin and hear your mess.
matthew w (01:38:10.007)
Just a second.
spencer (01:38:10.869)
No, like...
Luciano (01:38:11.746)
I was going to say similar to that scene from Holy Grail where Lancelot keeps coming and nobody moves. That's the same way that they fight. Until someone eventually comes. But the ships do.
matthew w (01:38:17.363)
You and I remember that movie very differently. I don't remember Lancelot coming in that movie.
spencer (01:38:19.02)
Well, if you think about how...
matthew w (01:38:27.795)
Oh, yeah, yeah.
spencer (01:38:28.928)
I think I downloaded the wrong version.
Luciano (01:38:32.723)
Yeah, you didn't watch the Snyder cut of Holy Grail. You didn't watch the Snyder cut of the Holy Grail. That's the problem.
matthew w (01:38:33.855)
Oh, there you go. That's what this is right.
spencer (01:38:34.873)
Cause that's all I remember.
Matt (01:38:36.281)
Yeah.
Matt (01:38:40.607)
It's just black and white Lancelot coming over and over again. Four by three, two. Yeah. Show it all.
matthew w (01:38:40.993)
I'm sorry.
Luciano (01:38:43.72)
over and over and over.
spencer (01:38:45.728)
Now here's the twist. Here's the twist. We show it all.
matthew w (01:38:49.879)
Hahaha!
Luciano (01:38:50.672)
Oh yeah, 100%.
Matt (01:38:55.608)
Um, I think we're done not talking about Rebel Moon the Scargiver.
matthew w (01:38:58.366)
Hehe
Luciano (01:39:01.994)
Listen, we had like five different plots going here. They're all better than the plot of this movie.
Matt (01:39:02.999)
What?
Matt (01:39:06.498)
Yeah, sure. I think that's 100% accurate.
spencer (01:39:08.96)
I just got it. I just figured something out guys. Maybe the scar that's given is given to the audience.
matthew w (01:39:16.884)
to our minds.
Luciano (01:39:16.907)
A mental scar? Okay. I mean, you're not wrong.
spencer (01:39:18.154)
Yes.
spencer (01:39:21.568)
The film is the scar giver, and we the scargiveth.
Luciano (01:39:27.187)
That's not how English works. Yeah there you go, given. So you're saying that the movie is the curse of sentiment. Okay, that tracks.
spencer (01:39:28.32)
The scar given. Givened.
matthew w (01:39:30.275)
to gibbeth the scar.
matthew w (01:39:37.213)
The curse of the Snidarium.
spencer (01:39:38.56)
Maybe the curse was inside us all along.
Luciano (01:39:42.594)
All along.
matthew w (01:39:45.297)
Numbness.
Matt (01:39:46.07)
In unrelated news, we're going to give reviews of this movie using our patented S tier system. S is the highest E is the worst. Is that right? F is the worst. That sounded wrong
matthew w (01:39:58.467)
That's crazy.
Luciano (01:39:59.043)
F. What is wrong with you? Yeah, you did.
spencer (01:39:59.528)
F. You did what I did. I thought you were making fun of me. That's what I did when I was hosting. I said E was the worst.
Matt (01:40:05.458)
I'll fix it in post. What I was really thinking is M is the worst for Morbius. That's the bottom unless you're a Chris of a nature. But let's rank this movie in our system. Randomly choosing, let's go with Spencer.
spencer (01:40:25.192)
Okay, I already said F needs more grain.
matthew w (01:40:30.239)
I'm sorry.
spencer (01:40:32.84)
No. Now, famously, I've been I've liked Zack Snyder for most of my time watching his films. You know, minus Sucker Punch and that was the only one I really didn't like. Rebel Moon 1 also wasn't great. But I will say it was better than this, which is saying a lot, because at least the first movie had some interesting.
Luciano (01:40:47.494)
Hahaha
matthew w (01:40:51.707)
Hehehe
spencer (01:41:00.404)
set pieces and they were at least going to different places and there was like, like more interesting things happening. This movie, I said it before, is the climax to the last film. Like that whole movie is building to a fight between these people and then the movie ends and then this movie starts with them prepping for that fight and then fighting. So it's like there's nothing happens in this movie and that would be fine if this movie was well made but when it's not a well-made movie it's
The lack of plot really shows how bad it is because it just feels so long and boring. So I hate to do this to my boy. Zach Zaddy. Zach.
Luciano (01:41:42.707)
Zaddy. Heheh.
matthew w (01:41:43.462)
Zaddy Snyder.
Matt (01:41:44.433)
Hahaha
spencer (01:41:48.212)
I think this movie is an E. It's the lowest rating I've given since Morbius or at one time I gave a Jurassic World Dominion. Anyways, yeah.
Luciano (01:42:00.138)
Oh, I know you've given you've given apps you've given ease. Yeah. Oh yeah. She and Godzilla was an F.
spencer (01:42:03.017)
Have I?
spencer (01:42:07.704)
Oh yeah, the movie was so bad. Okay, sorry, I retract my statement. This is not as bad as Shit Godzilla. Okay, well, it's the worst I've given a Zack Snyder film. I give this movie an E.
matthew w (01:42:08.551)
Hehe
Luciano (01:42:15.241)
You've given a few F's, yes.
Matt (01:42:15.918)
I don't know.
Luciano (01:42:20.438)
Yeah, the last one, Rebel Moon, when you gave a C.
spencer (01:42:24.064)
Yeah, see, I actually didn't hate that movie. This movie, I did, I did. And like I said, I feel scargiveth, giveth to myself from this movie. Scarg in biggins? Scar in biggins?
Luciano (01:42:29.82)
Hahaha!
Luciano (01:42:37.126)
Scargiven, scargiven. This is your first language, right?
matthew w (01:42:42.555)
I kinda just wanna watch Shin Godzilla now. Is it like a Godzilla movie all about his shins?
Luciano (01:42:43.846)
Shut up.
No you don't. No you don't. Trust me you don't.
spencer (01:42:47.019)
No you don't.
Matt (01:42:48.186)
Don't.
spencer (01:42:51.071)
Yeah, that would be better. Anyways, E, that's it, I'm done.
Luciano (01:42:56.099)
Alright.
Matt (01:43:01.218)
Thank you Spencer for whatever the fuck that was. Luciano, why don't you go next?
spencer (01:43:03.797)
It was a lot.
Luciano (01:43:03.87)
Hahahaha
Luciano (01:43:09.338)
So, you know, just like Spencer, I've always been a Zack Snyder fan, except for Sucker Punch and Man of Steel and Batman vs Superman and...
spencer (01:43:20.767)
Fuck you.
matthew w (01:43:22.984)
everything he's ever done.
Luciano (01:43:24.674)
Yeah, this just I do. I'm going to say the one positive thing about this movie that it proves me right that Zack Snyder is a shit storyteller. And like. It's the last like 25 minutes of this movie, some of the worst cinema I've ever seen. It's there's nothing happening very fast. It's boring.
spencer (01:43:34.456)
that it does.
Luciano (01:43:49.498)
things don't make sense to get hand waved, like he is much more concerned with how things look and how much slow motion he can shoehorn into shit and is not worried about what the slow motion is showing or why it exists and just in general was just a very painful experience to watch this movie and I really want my two hours back, there could have been probably an hour without the slow motion. And I'm going to say it.
might be worse than Marvius for me. It might be the lowest low of Popcorn and Plot Holes for me. This is clearly an F. If there was a G I would give it a G because I just fucking hated this movie with a passion and yeah that's it. Don't watch it if you can help it.
spencer (01:44:22.924)
Whoa.
spencer (01:44:41.836)
But the- but the grain!
Matt (01:44:42.211)
Well, you've currently spent almost two hours listening to a shitbag this movie But that was probably time well spent to get to this review
matthew w (01:44:50.051)
That's actually my middle name. Mathias Shitbag Bloodsash.
Luciano (01:44:51.082)
Listen, listen, that was the only, the only upside, the only upside of what having to like watching this movie was that I knew we were going to get to shit talk it today. So yeah.
Matt (01:44:56.937)
Ha ha
Matt (01:45:05.746)
Fair enough, Mathias Shippeg, Bloodstache, the third, Esquire, what is your review of this movie?
matthew w (01:45:07.331)
I'm going to go ahead and close the video.
Luciano (01:45:10.394)
Blitz-tash the third. Hahahaha!
Luciano (01:45:17.702)
Commander Mathias.
matthew w (01:45:18.275)
Uh, well, I mean, I don't know, I think I said earlier when we were just starting to talk about it, I was like, this was actually a lot better than I expected it because just in my mind I thought it was going to be so much worse. I think the fact that I didn't see the first one helped.
in the sense that as a standalone movie, it was badly executed, but at least it somewhat made sense. Bad Guy wants grain, Bad Guy, you know, shows up and does stuff, and there's like, there's ninjas, or fishing ninjas, and like swords, there's a lot happening. I blacked out a few times, it was a bit weird. Um, yeah, I mean...
Luciano (01:45:44.111)
Probably.
Luciano (01:45:53.312)
Hahaha!
matthew w (01:46:12.307)
I wish, I think what really struck me is when I saw the weird sort of eyes wide shut scene because I wish I had a bag over my head and you know I really wanted to be those guys. And I'm going to carry that with me here. I'm going to give it, I'm probably going to give it an F. I was thinking maybe I would give it a G as well but I think G for grain but obviously we can't do that.
Luciano (01:46:26.886)
Hahaha
matthew w (01:46:41.963)
So, you know, we can't get the grain. That's just the way it is. Yeah, I just found it to... I found that everybody had really good oral hygiene. I didn't bring this up. That I did like. So it was a positive that that's one thing I can say. Oral hygiene is great. Physical hygiene, terrible. But oral hygiene tops, like very, very nice. So yeah, I'm gonna give it an F, comfortably an F.
Luciano (01:46:43.382)
Yeah, apropos, yeah.
spencer (01:47:12.176)
Ah, fuck you guys.
Luciano (01:47:16.49)
Hahaha!
Matt (01:47:18.994)
Wait for it, Spencer. I would like also to review this movie.
spencer (01:47:23.146)
Yeah, I know.
Matt (01:47:25.85)
I want to like Zack Snyder. I like his ideas. I think at a high level, he thinks of creative things. And then on the high level, he does this thing where he forgets that in order to put things in your movie, they need to make sense.
spencer (01:47:47.965)
Okay, doctor.
Matt (01:47:48.206)
So individually, individually he does some really cool things in this movie. You know, there are some scenes I think, I don't mind the ships. I don't even mind the idea there's a crank in the sense to move the gun because it's like, yeah, they don't need a better tech, I guess fine. But then when you start thinking about all this stuff, it's like, well, why do they need grain? Why do they need coal? Why do they need to crank the guns on their ship when they clearly have like all this other future tech for murdering?
Luciano (01:47:51.345)
Hahaha!
Matt (01:48:17.582)
And so like, I can't help but just like, think about this stuff. Cause normally in a movie, I want to give it as much leeway as possible to be like, yeah, okay, fine, go ahead. I don't care, right? Like even the grain thing, I'm like, I guess you gotta start it somewhere. But you don't have to come back to it again and again. That's just bad storytelling. That's just not being creative for a space epic that spends its whole entire movie plotted around grain on one tiny planet. So like with Spencer's rating, I think-
For me it's also an E, it is a very, very not good movie. But there are hints of good ideas that, if you were to write a movie. Bruce, quiet please.
Luciano (01:48:55.773)
See, Bruce disagrees.
Matt (01:49:04.499)
Sorry, in the sense that if you write a movie... Quiet!
matthew w (01:49:09.675)
This is also Zack Snyder's writing process right now.
Matt (01:49:14.015)
She's now just staring at me.
Luciano (01:49:15.222)
Yeah, she is. She's ready for you to start talking.
Matt (01:49:20.378)
movie. Duck. Talk. Eh, nothing. So, I pick an E on this, the grain. I choose to put an E on this because I think that I want Zack Snyder in a room with me writing this movie so when I can't think of a cool visual trick I can ask him for one and then throw out like 80% of them because they don't make sense in the plot of the movie. But those two times will be really cool.
matthew w (01:49:24.69)
Use the grain. It's the most powerful weapon you have.
Luciano (01:49:42.874)
Yeah.
matthew w (01:49:45.171)
I'm sorry.
Luciano (01:49:49.502)
I think it would be more useful if you were there for every time he tries to do something stupid you can smack him upside ahead and say, NO! BAD SNIDER! BAD!
spencer (01:49:56.496)
Thanks for watching!
Matt (01:49:57.704)
No, but that's why I'm in charge and he gives me ideas so I can ignore them, right? If he's in charge, he does this.
Luciano (01:50:00.499)
I see, I see what you mean, okay.
He's just like the happy-go-lucky guy. He said, what if we put a Sword that's powered by hand jobs. No, no Okay
Matt (01:50:08.47)
Yeah. Great idea, Zach. We'll put we'll put on this is best idea, actually.
spencer (01:50:12.802)
Yeah. Right, no, that was a good idea.
That was the best edit of the movie. What are you talking about?
matthew w (01:50:18.327)
Thank you.
Matt (01:50:19.69)
Yeah. So E is the final answer I'm coming up with. That's the final verdict for this one.
spencer (01:50:23.736)
I agree. There are tidbits. Honestly, when I was watching this movie, I was like, this, some of this could work, but it all should have just been in the ending of the last movie. Like her hook, like her hooking up with Gunner like came out of nowhere, it should have been in the ending of the last movie after they've been together for the whole movie. And then at the end he dies, which has meaning because you've seen them connect the whole movie. And the final battle against the main bad guy. Of course.
Luciano (01:50:33.858)
Like a 10 minute scene.
matthew w (01:50:38.324)
Yeah.
matthew w (01:50:47.051)
We're talking about banging, right?
matthew w (01:50:51.475)
Okay, I just want to know what our connection was.
spencer (01:50:54.056)
That's all. And then yeah, and then she fights the main bad guy in this battle, not randomly at the end of the last movie on top of some weird floaty thing. I mean, it's just so obvious to anyone's movies and structure. It just it's baffling sometimes.
matthew w (01:51:09.439)
Yeah, well listen. Listen, Matt, Spencer, all I can really say is, in the words of Jeff Healy, I see where you're coming from.
Luciano (01:51:22.926)
Jesus, why is he getting flack now?
spencer (01:51:23.468)
And fuck Luciano too I guess.
Matt (01:51:26.743)
You're a fucking monster. Speaking of monsters.
Luciano (01:51:30.114)
No, he didn't want to say it to me, Spencer, only to the two of you.
spencer (01:51:32.612)
Yeah, he's like Matt Spencer.
Matt (01:51:37.782)
Speaking of monsters, our next movie is the Jordan Peele death Patel vehicle, Monkey Man.
spencer (01:51:47.8)
I think there's a monster in that movie.
Luciano (01:51:48.618)
Oh no, is that like a monkey king?
matthew w (01:51:48.691)
I swear to God, if he doesn't kill someone with a monkey, I'm gonna be fucking done. Like, we... Spence, you told us Beekeeper didn't even kill one person with bees. Come on. You gotta kill us with monkeys.
Matt (01:51:54.194)
I'm sorry.
spencer (01:51:56.426)
Yeah.
Matt (01:51:56.758)
I haven't watched the movie. I have no, uh, couldn't tell you.
spencer (01:52:01.36)
Yeah, I know. He didn't kill one guy with bees.
spencer (01:52:08.34)
I mean, at least stick a monkey on somebody.
Matt (01:52:13.142)
Yeah, something. So this movie has gone to the ears, but it's also a direct release. So you should be able to pick it up from YouTube or otherwise. But we're going to watch Monkey Man and fuck it better be better than this.
matthew w (01:52:25.932)
Yeah
Luciano (01:52:28.398)
Can't see it not being better than this.
Matt (01:52:32.502)
Yeah. All righty. Monkey man, join us next week. It's got to be better than this, right? It'll be fine, guys. It'll be fine. Come back. You're good. All right. We'll see you next time.
matthew w (01:52:38.772)
Yeah.
spencer (01:52:44.828)
up next week on popcorn and plot holes we watch the monkey man
Luciano (01:52:48.486)
Grain. Grain for everyone. Just grain. Grain for children. Grain for your grandparents. Grain for everybody.
matthew w (01:52:57.451)
Make it green. Make it green, boys.
Matt (01:52:58.018)
I hated that.
Luciano (01:53:01.384)
Oh no, that was worse.
spencer (01:53:05.984)
Uh, should I do it- go again? Ha ha
Luciano (01:53:08.394)
Go do one and Matt can pick one
Matt (01:53:08.658)
That's right.
spencer (01:53:11.472)
Okay, I was gonna do something with the monkey man.
Matt (01:53:11.815)
pick one.
Matt (01:53:16.21)
There you go.
spencer (01:53:18.092)
Coming up next week on Popcorn and Blotholes, we watch The Monkey Man. Get him, Rafiki! Ho, ho, ha, ho!
Luciano (01:53:31.003)
I don't know that was better, but sure.
I don't know about that. They were all bad.
spencer (01:53:40.898)
I have nothing.
Luciano (01:53:43.298)
Matt, you can just cut without any of this by the way.
spencer (01:53:45.464)
Hehehe
matthew w (01:53:47.139)
correction.
Matt (01:53:49.266)
So let me go see if gold comes up. Woof!
spencer (01:53:52.604)
It made more sense because we were just talking about monkey killing somebody.
Luciano (01:53:52.684)
No, it won't.
matthew w (01:53:56.295)
I just like Rafiki, you could be like, correction, I know your father.
