We Watched "Street Fighter: Assassin's Fist [The Movie]"

Matt (00:00.471)
Hello and welcome back to popcorn at Blot Halls.

Spencer (00:04.354)
Yeah, yeah, yeah!

Chris (00:05.18)
Pree-

Matt (00:09.529)
We decided to vanish because we needed to take a break from all the terrible movies we watched and not because we had personal commitments that took up our time. But now that we've got our taste for bad movies back, we've come back to talk about them again, I guess.

Spencer (00:27.16)
Yeah, that's true. And you can't miss something until it's gone.

Chris (00:27.646)
Papa got hungry.

Luciano (00:28.054)
Yes, that is the thing that happened and nothing else.

Chris (00:31.71)
You know.

Matt (00:33.667)
That's right. So now you're, you are so excited to be talking, listening. You're not talking. You just have to listen to us.

Spencer (00:38.636)
We have a special movie for you.

Matt (00:42.177)
We do. Yeah. As you talk to us when we can't hear you, but you listen to us as well. We have watched Street Fighter. Is it just Street Fighter? It's not Street Fighter 2, right? I don't know why I think it's...

Chris (00:43.87)
Hahaha!

Luciano (00:55.307)
No.

Chris (00:55.356)
no but i could tell that the number was was on the tip of your tongue street fighter

Matt (00:59.351)
I was like Street Fighter 2 Turbo Assassin Fist Remix. It's just Street Fighter Assassin's Fist. It is a movie that you can watch for free on YouTube. It is actually a collection of episodes strung into a movie. We watched the movie version. What do mean what?

Chris (01:04.104)
Two! Indeed.

Spencer (01:12.154)
is it?

Luciano (01:13.879)
Yes.

Spencer (01:14.71)
Episodes of what?

Luciano (01:17.066)
of a TV series called Street Fighter Assassin's Rest. It was an actual TV series.

Chris (01:17.278)
Street Fighter. It was a short series.

Spencer (01:20.056)
Was it a TV series or like a, it was like on television.

Matt (01:24.941)
Well, no, that's... It's like how... No, that's not... Well, maybe, but that's not what I'm going for.

Chris (01:26.394)
on online machinima.

Chris (01:31.624)
college humer almost a parallel because they made as you were there you go

Spencer (01:36.142)
called a web series.

Matt (01:38.393)
I'm going for Cobra Kai. Cobra Kai started on YouTube, right? Then Netflix picked it up. This is similar to Cobra Kai. was like a TV series that was produced directly to YouTube. Zero pickup. It came out in 2014, I think, so it's a bit old, but we watched it because we like Street Fighter, for those of us that know about it and are old. And we wanted to talk about it, so we did that. And now we're going to talk about it. If you forgot what we do here, we say a nice thing about the movie.

Spencer (01:41.785)
Do it.

Chris (01:41.853)
Mm.

Spencer (01:46.146)
W-w-without the picking up part.

Luciano (01:50.402)
Yes.

Spencer (01:51.331)
I wonder.

Matt (02:07.597)
just in case it's bad. And so we're going to start with our nice thing. Spencer's brain has been blown, so we'll skip him to last. Chris, why don't you go first?

Spencer (02:08.804)
Always forget this.

Chris (02:15.646)
The nice thing about this movie for me was it unexpectedly surpassed the Van Damme version in its own way. The Van Damme version, for those who are aware or are not aware, is special. It's got a certain charm. may not age very well, but back then it was a big win for gamers, right?

Luciano (02:39.572)
No. No, no.

Matt (02:44.227)
Was it? I'm pretty sure we lost back then too. I don't think we won ever on that

Chris (02:45.623)
What? All I'm saying, I'm just speaking my piece.

I-I-I-I-

Luciano (02:50.134)
I mean, we got a guy who wasn't blonde, wasn't American. And, you know.

Spencer (02:58.628)
Chris.

Matt (02:59.329)
We killed Raul Julia.

Luciano (03:00.974)
Yeah, well.

Chris (03:01.598)
Actually, Raul Julia devoted this to his kids because he knew that they loved Street Fighter.

Spencer (03:01.934)
Chris.

Luciano (03:07.401)
yeah, yeah. But that movie did give us the meme of, but for me it was Tuesday, that's where it comes from.

Matt (03:07.971)
Yeah, and then he died, so.

Spencer (03:08.014)
was the

Spencer (03:13.924)
Yes, that's the only thing I know about that movie. And I have a question for Chris. Would you consider the Bob Hoskins, John Leguizano, Mario movie a win for gamers as well?

Luciano (03:23.673)
Hahaha!

That's a fair question.

Chris (03:28.328)
Back then, yes. Now, no. We had little. Yeah, put it into perspective.

Spencer (03:29.572)
So back then it was a win for gamers. Just want to put it into perspective.

Matt (03:35.158)
I think it's okay to just not have things rather than have that.

Chris (03:40.158)
Would you say that now because we have more things? Oh, you said that back then? Then you're an ungrateful son of a goomba.

Luciano (03:40.31)
Yeah. No, no, I said that back then. Yes, the same, the same way I, I said the same thing about the Alyssa Milano Mark Dostkowsky's Double Dragon movie. No, no, no, I know.

Matt (03:42.719)
No. Yeah.

Matt (03:50.905)
you

Chris (03:56.498)
Come on, come on, come on. We recorded that episode. For those that don't know, we've been creating the art for over five years now, okay? We're allowed to enjoy things.

Matt (04:05.891)
That that I think that was on the other feed was it not? The previous podcast the year-round podcast that you can't get anywhere probably nevertheless Chris liked this movie more than Street Fighter with Jean-Claude Van Damme so high praise Luciano, what do you got? Okay, can you beat that?

Chris (04:09.148)
Indeed, I think.

Luciano (04:09.92)
Maybe it was, yes.

Chris (04:19.07)
Yes, we do.

Luciano (04:20.718)
I... Yes, I think so. I actually like how faithful to the game lord they were without it being super... Well, it was cheesy at several points, but they kept it. They were talking... Because it's easy to go to the main characters like the movie, the Van Damme movie did. But they're talking about just two...

Chris (04:24.882)
Round one.

Luciano (04:46.658)
three of the characters of the game. They're telling the backstory, they're telling, you know, coming of age story. And they kept, I think most if not all of the story kind of intact. So I appreciated that. I wasn't expecting it. I was expecting it to be a mess, to be honest, in that sense. And they did a good job. You can see this is like a labor of love. The people that put this together really like the game and like the lore. So I appreciate it.

Chris (05:02.29)
Hmm.

Matt (05:13.049)
That's fair. Given that it's 2014 and given that it was arguably a fan-made movie, certainly the production values are probably little higher than the average fan-made movie, but they did a decent job doing the CGI stuff for the most part. Showing the Hadouken, it looked cool and it didn't look that stupid or ridiculous.

Chris (05:13.939)
Here, here.

Luciano (05:32.748)
Yeah, I agree.

Matt (05:43.033)
And so I think they did a good job with that stuff. Other special effects like Akuma, sorry, Goki's change to Akuma, take from that what you will.

Luciano (05:50.04)
Gokie?

Chris (05:52.846)
Ugh! Ugh! Ugh!

Luciano (05:55.212)
Man, it takes some CG to turn a small Japanese man into a large black man.

Chris (06:00.208)
Listen, I'm okay with it. I'm okay with it.

Matt (06:00.48)
it's- that's fair.

Chris says it's okay, so good enough for me. Spencer, what did you like?

Luciano (06:06.444)
Hahaha!

Spencer (06:11.588)
I just like to preface with the fact that I don't know anything about Street Fighter. I'm a big nerd with most things. It's not being one of them. I was always more of Mortal Kombat fan myself.

is this where we draw lines? so having said that I was.

Chris (06:27.134)
Boo this man.

Luciano (06:27.756)
Yeah, I like the both. I like them both.

Spencer (06:36.536)
I didn't have any emotional attachment to it, which I feel like can make you kind of, you know, a little rose tinted. I'm not talking about you guys, Chris. Sorry.

Matt (06:47.991)
Hey man, like you had enough time to think of something, stop saying words trying to think of it.

Luciano (06:48.13)
No.

Spencer (06:52.804)
Ummm... I liked...

No, I never saw the original one either it was better than the Bob Hoskins Super Mario Brothers movie. Mean no like I I liked no some of the fighting was

Matt (06:57.753)
Do you want to steal Chris's even though you didn't watch the other movie?

Chris (07:01.118)
I like turtles.

Matt (07:10.777)
Great. Well done.

Luciano (07:10.798)
Okay.

Chris (07:12.653)
It's true though.

Spencer (07:16.612)
fine you know and again you have to look at it through through yeah exactly no i mean again like if you look at it through the lens of like it's a 2014 web movie then yeah it's it's impressive a lot of the what they did for sure but from a like perspective of like a movie it's fine

Luciano (07:19.635)
Wow. Yeah.

Matt (07:20.035)
High praise!

Chris (07:21.148)
Compared to Bob Hoskins? Fine. Context.

Spencer (07:41.848)
And that's what I liked.

Matt (07:42.445)
That's the best you can do on a positive. It's fine. All right. That's fine. is listen. Spencer might not like this movie. I don't know. We'll find out. It's hard to say. I want to bury Lee here. Let's talk about this movie. I think off the hop, it's important that we reiterate the statement that this was a TV show that was stitched together to make a movie because unfortunately,

Chris (07:46.248)
That's the best we're gonna, that's the top end people. It's not gonna get any better than that.

Spencer (07:53.27)
Ha ha ha ha ha

Luciano (07:54.818)
What ever gave you that impression? I'm not sure.

Luciano (08:09.56)
Yeah, you feel it.

Spencer (08:09.668)
And you feel it.

Matt (08:11.289)
It's it is a fucking horrible movie because it is so stilted and disjointed and you get shown here your protagonists at the beginning Ken and Ryu and then the story is basically not about them It's about Goken and Akuma

Luciano (08:25.047)
Yes.

Spencer (08:25.124)
Yeah. It, it, it reminded me of the, uh, not to go back to Mortal Kombat, but it reminded me how that the new Mortal Kombat movie was all about them starting Mortal Kombat, but there's no Mortal Kombat in the Mortal Kombat movie. When this movie ended, I was like, Oh, is this movie supposed to be a setup? Like they thought they were going to make more bless their hearts.

Luciano (08:40.526)
Right.

Chris (08:52.734)
They did actually. They did. There's a sequel. There's a sequel. There's a sequel. It's shorter, but it's a sequel. Yeah.

Matt (08:53.081)
Maybe, yeah. There is a sequel? God. They did make more Spencer.

Luciano (08:55.214)
BLEH

Spencer (08:55.51)
Spencer (08:59.987)
no.

Is there? Why do all the comments say when the second one coming?

Luciano (09:04.258)
Yeah, there is.

Luciano (09:08.014)
Cause the comments are from 10 years ago.

Chris (09:08.22)
Well, I don't know where to look.

Spencer (09:09.984)
Okay, maybe I Didn't get like a lot of views so you know I'd say it was a hit it What it did Yeah, no, I'd like five million views and

Chris (09:16.478)
What are you talking about? It did or didn't? Okay, good. I was just checking. I thought I heard you say the opposite go on

Luciano (09:25.678)
And the people on the comments, they're all praises to the movie.

Spencer (09:29.09)
Yeah, yeah, I think that if I saw this 10 years ago, and I was a Street Fighter fan, I probably wouldn't like, sweet. I get that. But just from someone who knows nothing about it, I'm like, what the fuck is happening? And why is this glacial pace? This movie had no right being two hours, 30 minutes long.

Luciano (09:37.111)
Yes.

Matt (09:38.125)
I think...

But you also-

Luciano (09:46.422)
Yes. Yes.

Matt (09:46.509)
Well, this is the thing, Spencer. I think if you had seen it as a web series that you, even if you watched it with the idea of like, it's, you just like binge the TV shows, it would have made more sense than.

Luciano (09:59.758)
Yeah, it doesn't make sense like a movie. Like the pacing is fucked. We talked about this a little bit when we were talking about it. Like the pacing is fucked not just because it's a bunch of episodes stitched together to look like a movie. This is as literally as it can get close to seven episodes in a trench coat. Like this is what that is, right?

Spencer (09:59.907)
Yes.

Matt (10:20.247)
Yeah. Yeah. And like some of the episodes are really interesting and parts of the movie are really cool and fun and some are filler. And you wonder why they went to the bar and fought some guys in the movie because it has nothing to do with the rest of the movie. It's just hanging.

Spencer (10:21.303)
You

Luciano (10:25.524)
Yeah, and summer filler. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And you would think like if they were putting this together, they could have cut some of that filler out because it made no like the bar scene, for example, it never comes back. Nothing ever comes of it. Right. When you're watching it as a series and there's like a beach episode, like they had a bar episode. That's fine.

Spencer (10:40.388)
They should have cut this movie down.

Matt (10:51.831)
Yeah. Yeah.

Chris (10:52.274)
Right. Yeah.

Luciano (10:53.57)
But when you're watching a movie, I'm like, why should I care? Is it going to be Guile? And I we're going to talk about this later. was like, no, no, just some random people. We don't even see them fight the guys. Just see them come out of it. Yes. Yes. Yeah. I actually was like, is this going to take a weird turn?

Matt (11:03.609)
Just some random arguably out of shape military guys they beat up.

Spencer (11:07.768)
Yeah, I thought they were gonna have a fight scene there and I was like, all right, here we go. And then.

Matt (11:11.769)
Yeah, nah, I couldn't afford it to budget.

Luciano (11:16.078)
where there's like some nasty shit going on like underground fighting ring. Nope, no, just this is just a bottle episode that they decided to include in the movie for some reason.

Chris (11:16.263)
Hmm.

Spencer (11:16.878)
Fall in love?

Matt (11:24.643)
Yeah.

Spencer (11:26.264)
I was just waiting for the... Again, I don't know Street buyer. Who's the guy who says it's just a Tuesday? Bass Bison? Best Bison? I was waiting for Bison to be in this.

Chris (11:33.842)
That was by some very close in the 90s.

Luciano (11:34.391)
bison yeah bison

Luciano (11:41.464)
You wanted Raul Julia to come back from the dead to be in this with that? That would have been amazing!

Spencer (11:43.278)
You're goddamn right.

Chris (11:44.2)
day.

They tease it in the, there's a stinger in the credits. They tease it.

Matt (11:51.257)
What? I didn't watch that.

Spencer (11:51.362)
I didn't stick around for that.

Luciano (11:53.698)
What? I didn't see that either.

Chris (11:53.872)
Okay. Now they try it shows his corporation logo on crates. It's an evil corporation he has.

Matt (11:55.543)
Yeah.

Spencer (11:55.969)
Is it show him?

Luciano (12:00.462)
yeah, Shadowloo. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're right. You're right.

Matt (12:02.571)
Okay. Yeah. Sorry. thought I thought we saw bison.

Spencer (12:03.682)
and then it just says Tuesday.

Chris (12:06.62)
Yeah. Tuesday shipment.

Luciano (12:07.726)
They just show a calendar and just slowly focus on the Tuesday. Yeah. Yeah.

Spencer (12:09.7)
That actually would be genius.

Chris (12:16.062)
That would be a really great nod. I love that,

Spencer (12:18.222)
Yeah.

Matt (12:19.385)
But yeah, so like, I mean, let's before we get carried away and maybe tearing this thing up, it's to Luciano's point, like they certainly care about the story and they made a point to tell, you know, the origins of some important characters in Street Fighter and Ken and Ryu were also hanging around.

Luciano (12:31.15)
Hmm.

Spencer (12:35.812)
That does come across that, I will say this, it comes across that this was made by people who were like a labor of love on a budget, who were making something because they wanted to see it themselves. they're like, they wanted to see this made. And I feel bad shitting on it, but that won't stop me because I've made nothing in my life. So I feel nothing.

Luciano (12:38.92)
Yeah.

Matt (12:47.021)
Yeah. Yeah.

Luciano (12:48.108)
Yes, yes.

Luciano (13:00.31)
No, but it's good.

Matt (13:00.793)
And I deserve this damn it

Spencer (13:03.82)
So I feel nothing when I tear it down. And they made another one.

Chris (13:05.98)
And made another one too, but go on, sorry.

Luciano (13:07.838)
It's good to have someone who doesn't know anything about Street Fighter because that's how like a lot of people who eventually see that movie are going to be like, okay, I heard the word or term Street Fighter. What the fuck is this about? And they're going to watch it, right?

Spencer (13:19.49)
I thought it was just like, gonna be some street fighting. And I gotta say on that front, I was disappointed. There are hardly any streets in this movie at all.

Luciano (13:25.826)
Well, yeah, yeah, exactly. There's forest fighting. There's some lake fighting. There's, yeah, clearing fighting, but not a lot of street fighting. You're right.

Matt (13:28.729)
Yeah.

Chris (13:29.438)
hardly.

Spencer (13:30.072)
This was force fighting. Yeah.

Chris (13:32.222)
There was a bar in a thicket.

Spencer (13:37.186)
Yeah, I'd say like dirt fighting, lake fighting there was quite a bit of.

Luciano (13:41.538)
Yeah.

Spencer (13:44.965)
F. False advertising.

Matt (13:45.571)
Well, and, well, no, but like,

Luciano (13:51.162)
But just to conclude what I was saying, like, not only is the pacing of the movie fucked because it was stitched together, a bunch of episodes stitched together, but some of the episodes like you said, Matt, were like completely useless. And so you get a two plus hour movie that has maybe an hour, 10, an hour, 20 minutes of content if that. I can't like.

Chris (13:51.315)
Yeah.

Matt (14:12.611)
Maybe.

Luciano (14:14.882)
that episode and like the flashback ones where it's like two back to back where they're telling the story of the Goken and Goki. And it's like, why do I care about any of these characters, right? Like I knew Goki was gonna be Akuma, but at some point it's like, exactly, exactly. You didn't know the payoff. You didn't know he was gonna turn into a large black man.

Chris (14:25.918)
Yeah

Spencer (14:28.502)
I didn't know who Akuma was. I just know, I just, my God, he's black. no. It's like, yeah, exactly. This, the dark arts, the path of the Hado is what many do believe be unnatural.

Chris (14:31.814)
Yeah, makes it a lot harder for someone who is not.

Matt (14:32.992)
It's.

Chris (14:38.171)
Yep.

Luciano (14:40.183)
Yeah, yeah.

Matt (14:41.345)
It's just some sort of allegory to using the dark powers.

Chris (14:41.881)
yes! yes.

Chris (14:47.464)
That's who we know how to.

Luciano (14:47.604)
Hahaha

Luciano (14:54.014)
Yeah.

Chris (14:54.097)
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Matt (14:54.105)
But like, so it's like, think it's, I would say to anybody, if you're listening to this podcast and you want to consume it, you might want to just like watch the episodes separately and you'll probably not be so thrown off because the two parter of like Akuma, how Akuma comes to be, fantastic story, but it's just, listen, we make.

Luciano (15:04.791)
Yeah.

Chris (15:07.336)
You'll have to dig.

Luciano (15:15.372)
Yeah, a little overacted. I'm just going to put it there. It's a little J-drama. That is fair. I've never went through that.

Spencer (15:21.474)
Every

Matt (15:21.783)
Have you ever transitioned from being an Asian man to a black man?

Spencer (15:24.439)
You don't know.

Matt (15:27.661)
So don't speak.

Spencer (15:28.43)
I will say everything like you have to look at with that grain of salt, like the acting, the lighting, the production, the script. It's all like you got to look through it through like a little bit of like, it's not going to be top tier, but it's. But I will say. Like when I was watching it, I was like, I kind of like the way that they're doing like the story of the. In the past, and it's like mirrored in the present where like Ryu and.

Luciano (15:37.89)
Ha

Luciano (15:41.912)
Sure, sure.

Chris (15:53.928)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Luciano (15:56.034)
Right.

Spencer (15:57.166)
Ken are the same as the master and his brother. And it, but that only works if at the end they converge and it did not. And that was very frustrating for me as a first time viewer. was just actually the only thing that I was like wanting to see is either Ryu or Ken or both fighting Akuma to get revenge for, I assume would be their master's death. If you want to go down the full, you know, trope.

Luciano (16:19.351)
Yeah.

Chris (16:20.306)
Hmm.

Luciano (16:23.618)
That's what I thought too. I was for sure... I even wrote in my notes like, okay, so Akuma kills Goken, right? There's no way. And we don't even... He may have, but we don't know, because that's where it ends with them going, fight! And then they finish and I'm like, what the fuck is this blue bullshit?

Spencer (16:29.879)
Yeah.

Spencer (16:34.596)
They don't even they don't even click cliffhanger. Yeah, they don't even cliffhanger on them fighting Ryu and Ken, the characters. They cliffhanger on the fight before the fight that's going to set up that fight. I was like from like, again, from a storytelling perspective, I was like. This doesn't work. It was it seemed like it was going to work like the way, again, the first half minus being like dragged out, I was like, OK, I get I feel in this.

Chris (16:37.618)
Yeah.

Luciano (16:44.16)
Yeah. Yeah.

Matt (16:46.445)
Mm-hmm.

Luciano (17:01.814)
Yeah, I agree.

Spencer (17:02.05)
I can feel like I do as a viewer actually want to see this confrontation, like which means I'm somewhat emotionally invested. You know, I want to see how this plays out and then nothing plays out.

Chris (17:06.78)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Yeah, because Ra you even had dreams and there was like a semi vision of Akuma coming for him like reaching out almost like like to get him and so I hear you that that does make sense

Spencer (17:23.196)
Obviously that's the long narrative that is the plan or what their plan was in some way. I mean if not, what the fuck is the point of this?

Chris (17:27.706)
ish maybe

Luciano (17:32.364)
Yeah, but it was clearly setting up the world-building of it. There's this martial art and there's these two paths to mastering this martial art that is really dangerous. And you can choose the easy way, which is the way of evil, or you can choose the hard way, which is the... It actually has a lot of... I'm not going to go into the lore of Actual Street Fighter, but there's a lot of symbolism with...

Chris (17:39.56)
Yeah.

Chris (17:44.508)
Right. Yeah.

Chris (17:56.008)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Luciano (18:00.606)
Shinto and and well that too I was talking about more the symbolism with like Japanese culture, right? There's Yeah, but but like I thought they were building that right is like, okay, now they're gonna go into Nope. It's like, done. It's like, yeah. Yeah.

Chris (18:01.15)
Star Wars. Kidding.

Matt (18:05.923)
Sorry, there's a dyad? There is a dyad, yep.

Chris (18:08.692)
Maybe not me.

Spencer (18:10.084)
Unlimited.

Matt (18:14.349)
Yeah

Spencer (18:19.012)
And we're Exit scene, and we're done, and we're out.

Chris (18:21.01)
Yeah. Yeah.

Matt (18:23.161)
Chris, Chris, you, clearly like this movie and you let us.

Chris (18:29.158)
stray.

Matt (18:30.361)
No, no, no, you've let us kind of go in on it and you know, like get the body blows in and kind of knock it down a peg and you've been quietly Yeah

Luciano (18:30.7)
Hahaha!

Chris (18:36.808)
Uh-huh.

respecting your agencies.

Spencer (18:40.9)
I one quick question for Chris before he defends this movie, rightfully so. I don't wanna interrupt, I just have one question. I apologize, Matt. I apologize, it's not an interruption, it's an interjection. I'm not interrupting, I'm interjecting. Very different. I just wanna ask Chris, when you watched this movie, did you just find it on YouTube on your own? Like it just came up and you were like, what is this? With no expectation of quality?

Matt (18:47.703)
It feels like you're interrupting me as my duty as the host.

Luciano (18:48.128)
And... You're... You're... That's...

Chris (18:48.868)
Hahaha!

Now you're gaslighting.

Chris (18:58.366)
Approach the bench.

Chris (19:05.918)
You said two different things. It came up. was doing homework and I was playing music over YouTube every now and then. And I saw the thumbnail and I'm wait, that's Ryu and Ken and who's that in the middle? And it's almost two hours? What is this? So I play it and I'm...

Spencer (19:23.172)
That's a weird porno.

Luciano (19:25.837)
Hahaha!

Spencer (19:27.012)
Who's in the middle?

Luciano (19:28.398)
Who is that girl? wait, it's Ken.

Chris (19:31.358)
yeah, thank you. Yeah phrasing. Yeah, and I started watching and it was just this this whole setup and I'm like, wait a minute They're really there. It's really gonna be to the point like a coming-of-age story And then I gave it ten minutes. I'll say wait a minute I'm here for this and then when it went to the past I was like, my god, this is this is interesting. I agree with the filler bits, but the the choices they made to

lovingly explore and then go in a direction. I really enjoyed it,

So it found me. It found me.

Luciano (20:09.368)
Hey Matt, did he answer your question that you didn't get to ask?

Matt (20:14.518)
can I can I host the podcast again?

Spencer (20:14.52)
Matt, I'mma let you finish. I'mma let you finish. Yeah.

Luciano (20:15.886)
Go... I was about to say... You can eat that fucking shit.

Matt (20:24.569)
Chris, all the things I said before I got interrupted. Blah blah blah yackity fmakity.

Chris (20:25.512)
Yes sir. Yes sir. Yeah.

Matt (20:31.917)
Why this movie?

Chris (20:35.012)
It's, I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why. It's because I was right. I suggested this movie for two reasons. One, because it wonderfully surprised me, but then I knew it would be perfect for some number of us to put the skewers in. I thought it would give us content.

Matt (20:57.433)
Three, three of us.

Chris (20:59.42)
Yeah, and it's okay if I'm the only person that liked it. I'm not saying you are, but I was ready for that. yeah, I thought it'd be great for us to be honest. apart from Mortal Kombat, I don't remember between the new Mortal Kombat and present day what other video game movie we talked wait, no, was the terrible Borderlands movie, Stan corrected.

Matt (21:00.441)
Which three?

Luciano (21:00.622)
not securing it. I'm not securing it.

No, Matt's suggesting that I'm securing it. I'm not. Yet.

Matt (21:24.281)
We also didn't watch my air brothers

Spencer (21:27.15)
Did somebody mention Old Mortal Kombat? The superior fighting movie.

Chris (21:27.602)
Between that.

We didn't watch that one. Maybe we should.

Matt (21:31.363)
Shit. You summoned him. We shouldn't.

Chris (21:36.786)
Yeah.

Matt (21:38.297)
This sounds like-

Luciano (21:38.376)
am the God of Thunder. My name is Christopher Lambert. I mean Raiden.

Spencer (21:42.414)
with the fertile lamb.

Chris (21:43.059)
Yeah.

Matt (21:43.416)
Oof.

Spencer (21:45.87)
from the grave. Did he die?

Chris (21:45.874)
There can be- wait! We watched Highlander 2? We can only- No, he's a- Great way to punctuate your- Great way to punctuate your your soliloquy. Did he die? Anyways.

Matt (21:51.277)
Maybe, so we have.

Spencer (21:51.992)
Not dead.

Matt (21:54.339)
We have a...

Spencer (21:58.574)
Did I die?

Matt (21:59.011)
We have a number of avenues. We could do a Christopher Lambert themed month. We can do an old video game themed month. We can't re-watch Highlander, so I don't actually know what's left. Mortal Kombat, that's all I've got. Maybe there's two or three Mortal Kombat movies.

Chris (22:03.774)
Luciano (22:03.874)
We could, that'd be something.

Spencer (22:13.988)
There's another one coming out.

Chris (22:14.568)
There's four Highlander movies, but going.

Luciano (22:18.092)
No, we're not watching Highlander 2, I'm putting a fucking Vito here. There is no fucking way we're watching that shit.

Chris (22:21.308)
I get it. I get it. I'm not going to fight that.

Spencer (22:24.356)
I'd rather die like Christopher Lampert did.

Luciano (22:26.222)
I am not dead.

Spencer (22:30.402)
I'll be as dead as Christopher Lampert before I watch Islander 2.

Luciano (22:32.551)
Hahaha!

Matt (22:33.667)
Hehehehehe

Chris (22:34.398)
kinda need to know if he's actually- cuz Val Kilmer passed away so he's Christopher Lander

Luciano (22:35.758)
yeah, we should probably make a make a small remark about that. Rip. Yeah, we should maybe maybe we should watch Top Secret for the podcast. it's a good movie. It's cheesy, but it's good. Yeah.

Matt (22:38.233)
Christopher's fine. yeah, we should do a vowel. Yeah, Val Kilmer, RIP the Saint.

Spencer (22:44.228)
Recipes King.

Chris (22:47.858)
the thing was great.

Spencer (22:48.002)
I've never seen the saint.

Chris (22:52.158)
think was good. Elizabeth's shoe? Yeah. It a good movie. Yeah, Lambert's still doing his thing.

Spencer (22:53.156)
Is it?

Matt (22:55.127)
Yeah, it's fine.

Luciano (23:00.002)
Hahaha.

Matt (23:00.089)
He made a Beowulf movie in 1999. Oh, sorry, we're doing Thelma. Oh my bad. Go ahead, Spencer. I'm sorry.

Spencer (23:00.226)
Everybody name their best Val Kilmer movie.

Luciano (23:02.978)
Top secret.

Spencer (23:05.678)
Sorry, yeah, Matt, I'ma let you finish, but Beyonce had the best album of the year.

Luciano (23:08.238)
No, you're not

Spencer (23:14.113)
it.

Luciano (23:15.926)
You

Spencer (23:17.284)
Want to hear my Kingpin impression? Vanessa! She's my wife! I love her!

Chris (23:19.39)
FU-

Matt (23:21.478)
No. Well, I don't know. I don't think fucking.

Luciano (23:21.845)
Hahaha

Chris (23:24.006)
It's he's, see, he's trying to get back on topic. Go for it.

Matt (23:28.941)
At least he's not a monster. Sorry, I'm ruining this. Maybe I'm doing it intentionally, who knows? Maybe it's like when you interrupt my podcast, I'm interrupting your podcast.

Luciano (23:36.279)
no-

Chris (23:37.342)
Fight! Fight! Round 1! Round 2!

Spencer (23:38.084)
Can you interrupt me in this great city?

I love my wife, Vanessa. She is everything to me. My wife!

Luciano (23:44.29)
That's pretty good actually.

Vanessa! Now you have to put way more... Vanessa!

Chris (23:55.24)
You're hitting, hitting, you're hitting the, the key is also in the last word. I like, I like.

Luciano (23:56.718)
Yeah.

Spencer (24:00.58)
and I became mayor of this great city.

Chris (24:02.472)
Ooh.

Matt (24:05.177)
spoilers.

Chris (24:05.33)
Mm-hmm.

Spencer (24:06.958)
Boiler. Alert.

Luciano (24:07.815)
It's spo- SPOILERS!

Chris (24:11.283)
Yeah.

Spencer (24:11.945)
I my wife, Vanessa!

Chris (24:13.758)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Luciano (24:15.39)
Yeah, there you go. have... the word Vanessa needs more umph than the rest of the sentence. Anyway, Street Fighter!

Spencer (24:18.316)
You

Chris (24:19.474)
Yeah. It's love and pain at the same time.

Matt (24:23.085)
So anyways, we watched Street Fighter's Assassin's Fist and anything else you want to know about it Spencer? You want to talk about Valkyrie or some more? No, we're not. It's interesting that they chose Ken and Ryu as the entry point. Like do you think that was because they're the easiest point? Because they're both human and obviously so without any...

Spencer (24:23.62)
Best f-

Chris (24:28.264)
Perfect!

Chris (24:32.84)
Yes.

Spencer (24:51.534)
Wait, are there non-humans in Street Fighter?

Matt (24:51.929)
plastic of you know it's not that they're non-humans but there's like a lot of them are like I don't call them meta humans but like Blanca it doesn't really look like a human

Chris (24:59.483)
Yeah.

Luciano (25:00.174)
Blanca is just racism against Brazilians.

Spencer (25:00.893)
Blanca.

Matt (25:03.289)
Why do you think I brought him up?

Spencer (25:04.918)
I thought Akuma was Blanca.

Chris (25:05.37)
Not gonna fight that. No, no, Blanca has an accident and ends up with like electric eel Hulk powers. know, well, hmm, I can't. Okay, this is interesting then.

Spencer (25:13.506)
and ends up Brazilian. That's all based on I only know what Luciano's telling me.

Luciano (25:16.206)
Yes. Yes.

you

Matt (25:20.899)
Well, mean, like a lot of the characters are kind of kind of based on racism. Zangief is a Russian wrestler that's for righted out.

Spencer (25:22.18)
He's in a horrible Brazilian related accident.

Luciano (25:25.996)
Yes.

Chris (25:26.75)
Yeah.

Chris (25:32.798)
Yeah, E Honda, E Honda was a sumo wrestler.

Luciano (25:33.472)
You know, yeah, so the worst, the worst story I don't know if you're going to find there is so the names of three characters got shifted. So Bison is the main evil dude. Then you have Balrog, which is the boxer dude. And then you have Vega, which is the Spanish fighter dude. So those are the names here in the West because in Japan, the

Chris (25:42.429)
Yeah.

Bad gun.

Chris (25:49.437)
Make me.

Luciano (26:00.686)
evil dude from Shadow of the Purple guy, the guy that Roe Julia plays is named Vega. That's his name, Vega. Because M. Bison sounds suspiciously like Mike Tyson, which is the name of the boxer dude who's black. And then Balrog is the Spanish dude who sounds like nothing. So they got sued to Capcom.

Chris (26:16.459)
Mm-hmm. Yeah, they based the boxer guy after Mike Tyson.

Matt (26:19.128)
Yeah.

Luciano (26:29.954)
was gonna get sued to oblivion, then they shifted the name. They're like, no, no, no. And Bison is some other white dude, nothing to do with Mike Tyson here. Yeah. So more racism, yes.

Matt (26:39.284)
No. Anyways.

Chris (26:41.352)
with your Roo.

Matt (26:44.343)
Like, so everybody's like an extreme caricature of a human with powers.

Luciano (26:47.948)
Yes. Still to this day, even Street Fighter VI, they're all caricatures. It's ridiculous.

Spencer (26:48.6)
My favorite.

Chris (26:53.63)
Yeah, there's

Spencer (26:54.712)
My favorite fighter is Noah Goldstein.

Luciano (26:58.54)
Hahaha!

Matt (26:58.937)
I'll allow it. Let's go into the things that really people want to know. have questions we need answered from this movie. Apparently they made a sequel. Nobody watched it. Maybe Chris did. Doesn't matter. Don't use any of that knowledge to answer these following questions. Thank you. Let's ask some simple questions. We'll try to describe the characters as best as possible because some of them don't get names, but we created them for them. Let's start simple.

Chris (27:01.886)
Hmm.

Luciano (27:09.133)
Yes.

Chris (27:12.38)
I did. People watched.

Luciano (27:17.165)
Hahaha!

Chris (27:27.094)
yes.

Matt (27:29.667)
So Goken, is Ken Urayu's sensei, is pretty close with Ken's dad. So when Ken's mom dies, Ken's... No, he doesn't get a name. Don't worry about it. Ken's dad... Yeah. Ken's dad. Mr. Masters sounds weird. Ken Masters with an S. Yeah.

Luciano (27:36.27)
Who doesn't get a name? Yeah. Yeah.

Chris (27:39.646)
They call him Mr. Masters.

Spencer (27:44.344)
You call him Mr. Master?

Luciano (27:46.542)
Well, yeah, because his name... Masters. That's his last name. Masters. Yes.

Chris (27:47.254)
Masters!

Spencer (27:49.678)
Chris (27:50.878)
It's okay, appreciate you. Based on the, I get it, I get it. We're here to help.

Matt (27:54.936)
Yep, fair.

Spencer (27:55.044)
Mr. Master sounds like a bondage title. Okay, okay. Yes, Mr. Master.

Matt (27:58.307)
Don't. No. No. No. So I want to know why Goken and Ken's dad are so close. How did that come to be?

Luciano (27:59.978)
Yes, yes it does. Yes it does.

Hahaha!

Chris (28:04.423)
Yeah

Spencer (28:09.454)
think they have a servant master relationship, a sub-dom relationship.

Luciano (28:09.646)
Mmm.

Luciano (28:16.408)
Severin Masters relationship.

Matt (28:21.177)
Who's the sub and who's the dog? I'm sure it'll work. You can't just throw these allegations out there.

Spencer (28:22.884)
Pretty sure Mr. Master is the Dom.

Matt (28:28.407)
Wow, okay.

Luciano (28:30.23)
Now play against type, here's the sub

Spencer (28:34.884)
I don't think it works though. Because I'm pretty sure the other guy's name is Mr. Sister.

Luciano (28:34.956)
That doesn't work. Carry on.

Matt (28:36.473)
Wow.

Chris (28:45.534)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Luciano (28:45.55)
What?

Spencer (28:47.396)
What's the opposite of Mr. Slave? Oh, isn't that a character from South Park?

Matt (28:51.321)
South Park. it is. That is correct.

Chris (28:51.518)
Mr. Robot? I don't...

Luciano (28:51.53)
No, no, Yeah.

Spencer (28:54.564)
It's all coming together, boys. I think I've shown my work. Case closed.

Matt (28:58.777)
Anybody else take a crack anybody else

Chris (29:00.318)
Top grades!

Okay, so don't use the lore. I'd have to make this up and I'm okay with that.

Matt (29:11.265)
It's called be creative. You can use a lot if you want to be that nerd, but

Chris (29:12.734)
Yay! So, cool. So Goken, I guess like between like the flashback and like present day, right? They give us tiny glimpses that Goken's gonna go on his warrior's journey, his like warrior, yeah, his warrior's journey to learn more about himself and no, no, no, no, no, and get out in the world. I think that's where he met Ken's dad, Mr. Masters, and potentially, you know, Ken's mom, Yugi.

I don't think, I really don't think Mr. Masters had anything to impart combat wise to Goken, you know?

Matt (29:50.723)
Give me the one too!

Luciano (29:52.014)
Yeah, he did to Ryu and Ken.

Chris (29:56.112)
and goken was okay with that? cuz like, mr matt- ken's dad is a business man. what the flying fish fuck.

Luciano (29:58.838)
Yeah

Luciano (30:03.17)
No, he's a boxer, dude. Did see the sweat stains under his arms when he was done?

Matt (30:05.283)
Yeah. Business man. That's the name of his fist.

Spencer (30:10.756)
Let me show you my profits and losses.

Luciano (30:13.472)
Yeah.

Chris (30:13.534)
Let me show you about the black and the red. I think, yeah, thanks for that guys. Yeah, because he clearly can't do too many things at once, like grieving for his wife and taking care of his son.

Matt (30:13.549)
Hehehehehe

Spencer (30:16.548)
Yeah

Spencer (30:26.638)
Like, you can't... And parent. And parent.

Luciano (30:28.27)
Like raise a child and be a businessman.

Matt (30:29.529)
Mm.

Chris (30:33.435)
be a CEO. But yeah, I think I will to get more specific. Okay, so during his his warriors, you know, journey, more specifically, where I can pick a place, I'll get more specific. New Jersey, was actually, thank you. See, the art the art dictates. Gokin Gokin was exploring what what food is our Jersey people proud of, proud of, like, do they have a claim on anything?

Luciano (30:47.702)
New Jersey.

Matt (31:00.461)
Saltwater toffee.

Chris (31:01.816)
Saltwater taffy. Gokun's like...

Luciano (31:03.214)
No, what's that Italian? What's that?

Spencer (31:03.652)
Bruce Springsteen.

Chris (31:05.938)
food-wise, but I'm okay with that too.

Matt (31:07.833)
Yes, and we don't have time to this is already confusing

Chris (31:09.822)
So he go king is like what in order to understand the meaning of my attack assassin fist I must understand the the yin and the yang the sweet and the salty salty saltwater taffy, New Jersey got the go G Lee right and so Yeah

Spencer (31:20.516)
Gabagool.

Luciano (31:22.38)
Gabagool, that's the one I was thinking of.

Luciano (31:28.002)
Garba ghoul!

Spencer (31:28.628)
I woke up this morning, got some Gabba-

Chris (31:34.106)
Yeah, yeah. And so he's standing at the regular at the regular Saltwater taffy shopkeep dispensary and they were, you know, this cute couple walks out, but they bump into each other, drop all their stuff on the floor and Gokun's like, how dare you? I feel like I'm ready to kill both of you. But they're like, why don't we just get more? And then

Luciano (31:34.444)
Yeah

Chris (31:55.368)
friendship was

Matt (31:56.611)
That was a great journey we went on.

Luciano (31:56.896)
this question paid off just like the movie.

Spencer (31:57.892)
That's a nice meat cube. The pacing was similar.

Matt (32:00.063)
Mm-hmm.

Chris (32:01.168)
You're welcome.

Luciano (32:03.373)
Hahaha!

Matt (32:03.705)
It was. There were some parts where I really was invested and there's other parts where I just felt like filler, so nailed it. Yeah, I think you should duck out of the way of that one. Hey, in the movie, Ken and Ryu go to a bar in the town. It's funny how nondescript this movie is in times. yeah, the town, they go to the local town and they go to the bar.

Chris (32:04.828)
I am impervious.

Luciano (32:08.949)
Yep.

Chris (32:10.866)
Anyone else?

Luciano (32:12.684)
No, no, I don't have anything to add to this. Please move it along.

Chris (32:14.536)
That's what I thought. That's what I thought. Mic drop.

Luciano (32:25.335)
Allegedly.

Chris (32:27.678)
You see that local town?

Matt (32:32.889)
And they find out there's fighting going on in a street-like area. one's really sure what it is. They just go outside? I think they went outside. And then some guy tries to get them to fight and he's like, nah, dog. And then they notice there's a bunch of military people. They talk about it's a military base. There's a lot of military people in the bar. And I'm just waiting for Guile or Cammie to show up. Where the fuck were they?

Chris (32:37.31)
Mmm.

Luciano (32:38.52)
Right.

Luciano (32:55.861)
Yeah

Hmm.

Spencer (33:00.62)
As someone who doesn't know Guile or Tammy? Cam-

Matt (33:05.101)
How to cammy.

Luciano (33:05.143)
Cami.

Chris (33:05.214)
Cami with a C, but it's okay. You're okay. You're good.

Spencer (33:07.478)
I assume.

Luciano (33:09.528)
They're military people, yes.

Matt (33:10.903)
Yeah, great job. Nailed it.

Spencer (33:11.864)
Kyle was...

Spencer (33:16.578)
making a cake.

Matt (33:18.67)
You don't have to answer.

Luciano (33:20.108)
Yeah, you don't have to answer if you don't want to. OK, go. Carry on.

Spencer (33:21.545)
I know what I'm saying. reason, Guile made a cake because she is a big fan of cooking.

Chris (33:23.677)
Yeah

Matt (33:26.521)
Okay. Cool. Kyle's a dude.

Spencer (33:30.03)
Let me finish.

Matt (33:32.089)
You

Okay. Now, okay.

Spencer (33:37.548)
He goes by she because he's undercover.

Matt (33:41.357)
He's one of the most masculine characters in the game, but sure. Okay.

Luciano (33:43.713)
Yes.

Spencer (33:43.83)
Let me finish in a female boxing academy.

Chris (33:45.95)
Yeah, he's cooking something.

Matt (33:52.365)
He's okay. Sure.

Spencer (33:52.483)
Heavy weights?

Luciano (33:54.968)
He's not a boxer, but okay.

Spencer (33:56.58)
Let me finish.

Chris (33:58.758)
huh, huh.

Spencer (34:00.514)
It's kickboxing.

Matt (34:03.705)
Okay, he's coming around.

Luciano (34:04.056)
Closer.

Spencer (34:04.996)
slash baking academy.

Chris (34:07.038)
This pacing.

Luciano (34:08.038)
slash, no, slash is a good one because he has, has slashing attacks. Yes. Good. Good. Should also, he also, God. Okay. Yeah. And together they make a sonic boom.

Spencer (34:11.822)
That's why I said it.

Matt (34:12.121)
Mm-hmm.

Chris (34:13.886)
Mm-hmm.

Matt (34:14.531)
Hahaha.

Spencer (34:14.744)
Because he's friends with Slash the guitarist.

Chris (34:18.168)
huh.

Matt (34:20.803)
Back out again.

Chris (34:20.926)
Mm-hmm.

Spencer (34:23.383)
Yeah!

Matt (34:25.625)
You landed that plane. Great teamwork. Yeah.

Luciano (34:27.15)
Okay, now watch him fuck this up

Spencer (34:27.575)
And Cammie?

was also there.

Chris (34:33.97)
What was she doing? At the bar. I don't know.

Luciano (34:34.594)
Okay.

Matt (34:34.935)
at the baking slash.

Spencer (34:35.342)
Cammie was at the Baking Kickboxing Academy.

Luciano (34:39.776)
The Becky Slash undercover mission.

Chris (34:41.182)
Ayyyy, this sounds like an anime that we need to see.

Luciano (34:45.314)
Hahaha!

Spencer (34:45.408)
and she was training because she's the world's greatest.

Baker.

Luciano (34:52.11)
Okay, okay. She does show her cakes in the game. You heard me! You heard me!

Chris (34:53.022)
Ayyyy

Spencer (34:55.81)
and she

Chris (34:59.774)
Say that again. I don't think I don't think we heard you get get get get get that I Want you to say it again. I want to hear that that that music

Spencer (35:00.148)
Okay, I see what you're putting down. She has a big...

She has a big oven.

Luciano (35:09.356)
Yeah, she's a...

Matt (35:11.085)
The Wikipedia has her, has her, her character design listed as Kami is a fighter with a slender yet muscular body.

Chris (35:17.438)
through a hot dog, it's like throwing a hot dog through a hallway. Sorry, I'm going.

Luciano (35:20.975)
wow, why would you do that?

Luciano (35:28.433)
That's true.

Spencer (35:28.696)
That sounds like guile to me.

Luciano (35:31.53)
And actually not not wrong. He's not slander. He's Johnny Bravo. That's what Guile is.

Matt (35:33.401)
He's not slender and more muscular, but yeah. Hey, you know Johnny Cage? It's like that, but if he was like a hardcore military like dude.

Spencer (35:37.998)
Perfect undercover woman.

Chris (35:38.427)
Spencer (35:41.934)
Yeah?

Luciano (35:46.254)
Dude, with an im- with an impossible hair. A hair shape. He does! He does!

Spencer (35:46.408)
I see what you're putting down. He's got a big oven.

Matt (35:50.285)
Yeah. Just got a big oven. You are correct. Yeah. Now you're getting it. All right. We've answered that question.

Chris (35:51.71)
See? The bussy is real.

Luciano (35:55.79)
Yeah, it is. There you go.

Spencer (35:58.532)
Case closed.

Chris (35:58.854)
in the oven.

Luciano (36:01.174)
Also, Cami is British just for no reason.

Chris (36:03.102)
Yeah.

Spencer (36:03.308)
I was getting to that part.

Matt (36:03.417)
That's not important. No, it's not important. That's why she was baking. She's a great British bake-off. You nailed it all. Since... since... Listen, you did it to me and yeah, we're interjecting. That's what you said to me. Go fuck yourself. Go fuck yourself. Hey, since we've talked about Cami, let's just knock off the only other woman in this movie that makes this movie fail the Bechdel test. Really? I didn't... are... anyway, this is fine. Sayaka is...

Chris (36:08.53)
You know? Scones.

Spencer (36:09.57)
If you guys would stop cutting me off, would have said that.

Chris (36:16.446)
Difference. Nuance.

Spencer (36:16.6)
Alright well I respectfully accept that then. With class.

Luciano (36:26.139)
don't knock off the woman.

Chris (36:27.356)
Yeah.

Matt (36:34.108)
Gotetsu who is the original sensei's niece she is there when the two when Goki and Goken show up and I don't know you can go into the details she leaves she just up and decides one day that she's leaving because

Chris (36:50.652)
in adulthood.

Luciano (36:51.79)
She's done with the sloppy seconds that she got.

Spencer (36:54.19)
She's done banging her brothers.

Matt (36:54.841)
She's done. Let's, I mean, okay, let's just talk about it for five seconds. She apparently is into Goki for reasons I don't understand, unknown. And then her, that's fair. And then her uncle banishes him and is like, you're done with him, go bang the other one, essentially. And so she's like dating him as much as one can date someone who lives at the dojo you're at, I don't know. And then her uncle's killed and...

Chris (36:54.866)
Indeed.

Luciano (37:02.732)
unknown

Chris (37:03.678)
Yeah.

Spencer (37:04.356)
She likes a bad boy.

Luciano (37:07.574)
Maybe, yeah.

Matt (37:23.389)
she just decides one day to leave and never comes back. And I want to know what happened to her after she decided to leave.

Luciano (37:30.956)
That's a good question.

Spencer (37:31.588)
Was she in the game?

Chris (37:31.826)
You see saltwater taffy

Luciano (37:34.254)
She opens up... No. She only shows up in one comic and then in this movie. That's it.

Matt (37:39.449)
No.

Chris (37:39.513)
No, but fair question.

Spencer (37:47.332)
Now we're getting into comics.

Matt (37:49.881)
Deep cut.

Luciano (37:50.264)
Yeah.

Spencer (37:51.342)
Well, I think she was undercover. No.

Chris (37:52.328)
deepest dish.

Luciano (37:55.562)
In New Jersey.

Chris (38:01.36)
Dancing in the dark.

Spencer (38:02.18)
Yeah, you know what, Luciana, why don't you take this one?

Matt (38:05.569)
Yeah, yeah, sure. You've had a lot of comments, but you haven't really contributed to the answer to the portion of this.

Luciano (38:05.729)
HAHAHAHA

Chris (38:06.43)
Yeah

Spencer (38:09.86)
That's why I don't lay down my shield

Chris (38:10.814)
You

Luciano (38:11.038)
Alright. So, so, since you handed it to me, I'm just gonna say she went to New Jersey, opened a Gabagool store.

Matt (38:13.817)
Yeah

Chris (38:14.108)
You

Spencer (38:22.5)
God damn you.

Chris (38:24.178)
What is gupple? I thought it was an exp- I thought it- okay nevermind. Sorry, I don't mean to poke holes.

Spencer (38:25.368)
I don't even think Gabagool exists.

Luciano (38:25.582)
Ha

I don't think it exists, I don't know what it is. No, I think... I think she went to Korea.

Matt (38:28.991)
some racist ass shit.

Chris (38:39.358)
actually it's moo it's a food Italian cured meat I didn't know I thought it was just an expression

Luciano (38:41.228)
Yeah, it is a food. Why did you think it was? okay. I thought it was just like some random gibberish that people from New Jersey say.

Matt (38:44.875)
I was just leading you.

I was leading you down a dark path by saying it was a random mess. Shit. Yeah, it's just... Meats. Anyways, let him focus. He's going nowhere, but let him crash the car on his own.

Chris (38:53.31)
Okay, dig it. Sorry, I appreciate you. You talking about New Jersey?

Luciano (38:56.11)
what what what was i saying yeah what was i saying i have no idea where i was going she she went yes i was saying she went to korea to become a k-pop idol but that's too early right this is in the 80s that doesn't work god damn it there you go she's the precursor okay she she she became the a magnate of k-pop there that's what she did

Spencer (39:01.464)
Let him crash this plane!

Matt (39:03.673)
You

Chris (39:10.046)
well, influenced by rock and roll.

Matt (39:12.381)
in the 80s yeah.

Spencer (39:13.828)
She's the first K-Pop idol.

Chris (39:18.023)
See?

Chris (39:24.062)
Mmm

Spencer (39:24.324)
in her name?

Matt (39:25.666)
Good job.

Luciano (39:26.604)
Her name is in the movie, so... Her name is Sai. It's Sai. Her name is Sai.

Spencer (39:27.768)
And her name is BTS.

Chris (39:28.776)
Sayaka. Sayaka. It was Sayaka. Okay, thank you. is that her stage name or the her actual movie name?

Spencer (39:37.624)
neither.

Matt (39:37.879)
What, BTS?

Luciano (39:38.104)
Sure. B-A-B-T-S. Her name is behind the scenes.

Chris (39:39.196)
Dig it.

Spencer (39:40.356)
No

Chris (39:41.694)
Okay.

Luciano (39:45.934)
Exactly. That's she is the sexy lady he's singing about.

Chris (39:46.844)
You

Matt (39:49.015)
That's, that's, that's fair. got him. So racist probably, but what are you gonna do?

Spencer (39:49.675)
Up from handle style!

Chris (39:50.878)
you're picking up on it. You're on the back burner, now you're right to the front burner.

Luciano (39:54.894)
There you go. We landed that plane face first on the ground.

Matt (40:01.177)
We're pushing forward hey since we're in a really awkward spot. Let's just continue being there There's a character that They can write you encounter at the lake He is a very old Japanese man who apparently was also the person who dropped Ryu off To Goken at the very beginning, but we're never quite sure Anyways, I'm gonna refer to him as the lake perv because

Luciano (40:07.329)
Nice.

Chris (40:07.428)
Awkward.

Chris (40:14.878)
toothless maybe.

Spencer (40:23.246)
What a great story. What a great character.

Chris (40:29.893)
Matt (40:30.873)
Because he asked to see Ken's penis at one point. Yeah.

Luciano (40:30.934)
Valid?

Chris (40:33.316)
Yes he did. If you're a man, show me the proof. Yeah.

Luciano (40:34.624)
I kept keep calling him girl unless he proves it otherwise. Yeah.

Matt (40:38.743)
Yeah, yeah. And then he also writes a sweet ballad for Ken. Sorry, Rio, thank you, yes. And I just wanna know who like Purve, what like Purve, when like Purve, why like Purve, how like Purve?

Spencer (40:40.42)
What?

Chris (40:44.284)
You know? Right, yeah. All good.

Luciano (40:45.314)
for Ryu.

Luciano (40:50.861)
Hahaha!

Chris (40:54.046)
Lake Perv is a disgraced saltwater taffy magnet. no, no, I won't stick to it, but I just wanted that reaction.

Spencer (40:58.634)
my god, you gotta even out. We're done.

Luciano (40:59.254)
Why?

Spencer (41:05.644)
Anyone can... There's a little lake perv in all of us.

Matt (41:10.969)
Okay, fucking land this plane champ

Chris (41:11.518)
Okay, I'm gonna take the reins back from this one. Lake Perv is a disgraced- Lake Perv is a disgraced librarian. And,

Luciano (41:11.584)
Hahaha!

Spencer (41:15.492)
Maybe Lake Perb was the friends we made along the way.

Matt (41:18.828)
No, no.

Luciano (41:21.681)
Hahaha!

Chris (41:22.126)
I'm not relinquishing the mic. Lake Perve, you know what, actually we got something here. Lake Perve used to be a caretaker in an elderly folks home. And he got into, mm-hmm.

Matt (41:22.456)
Okay

Spencer (41:31.694)
guess how that went. Back then he was that's back then he was called elderly perv.

Luciano (41:32.741)
no.

Chris (41:38.174)
see because there's nothing sweeter than the the dependence of of of of society's hey diapers so he's a disgraced diaper conglomerate magnate you know trying to make sure that that that he perpetuates the legacy of his his forebears shout out to me for coming up with coming back with four bears yeah

Luciano (41:39.65)
Back then.

Spencer (41:43.448)
Depends-ence?

Spencer (42:01.326)
Some, stop, stop, stop shooting out yourself.

Luciano (42:01.646)
Shout out again. High five me.

Chris (42:06.392)
y'all are doing it anyways. Lake Perth had a whole life before in the city before or rather the town because we have no streets and along the way he lost himself and so

As a banished person with a previous life, in order to find meaning, he needed to go somewhere he's never been to find who he's always wanted to be. And what should happen along the way? He found an abandoned child struggling in the forest. like, that ain't right. Let me drop this kid off with a place that has a roof, maybe some walls. But you know what? I think I'd like to run a song for this kid when he turns 20.

Matt (42:43.769)
Chris.

Chris, I have a follow-up question. These four bears you speak of, who are they?

Chris (42:50.291)
Yes, sir.

Mm-hmm.

Spencer (42:55.064)
Why you do this, Matt? Why you doing this?

Chris (42:55.496)
Yes.

Luciano (42:57.506)
Yeah.

Matt (42:57.815)
Well, if he had to use the correct word for bearers, I wouldn't have had to do this. But since you said for bears, here we are.

Luciano (43:01.506)
Yeah, I was gonna, it's the four bears, yeah.

Spencer (43:03.876)
The four bears. I see.

Chris (43:04.658)
Yeah, his four bears. Small, medium, large, and venty.

Luciano (43:06.816)
Are these the same bears that eat the porridge?

Spencer (43:11.268)
Well done.

Matt (43:11.801)
Fair enough.

Chris (43:13.118)
Shout out to this mother

Matt (43:16.873)
You know what? nailed it. Shout out. Give yourself another high five. Great. Anybody else want to?

Chris (43:20.722)
Just as I am! Perfect!

Spencer (43:22.5)
When he picked up that baby, he stopped being a lake perv and started being a lake dad.

Luciano (43:31.938)
That was much more wholesome than I was expecting. Stop being Lake Perv and he became a registered sex offender.

Chris (43:36.082)
Now I got Enya in my- I'm not- I'm not crying. This is like sweet November, but if it went better. Okay.

Matt (43:36.323)
and like.

Spencer (43:39.597)
you

Matt (43:40.601)
Yeah

Matt (43:44.087)
And like any good lake dad, he immediately dropped off his kid and ran away never to be seen again.

Luciano (43:47.842)
Yes.

Spencer (43:49.06)
That's the Lake Way.

Chris (43:52.094)
unless he was always watching from afar. It's like, all right, you coming up son.

Matt (43:52.301)
like way.

Spencer (43:54.819)
Whoa.

Matt (43:55.395)
mean, he's honestly a better dad than Ken's dad, because at least he's close at hand. Yeah.

Luciano (43:55.595)
he was watching already.

Spencer (43:59.136)
At least you d- and watches.

Chris (44:00.774)
Yeah, he's like, this is true every day, every day, every day. See?

Luciano (44:00.78)
That is true. He sees him more than Ken's dad sees him. That's for sure.

Spencer (44:06.436)
When was the last time Ken's dad saw his penis?

Matt (44:10.381)
Who? Ken Spears?

Luciano (44:14.184)
that question took a turn at the end.

Spencer (44:16.612)
No, didn't didn't like perv asked to see Ken's penis That's what I said when was the last time Ken's dad saw Ken's penis

Matt (44:16.953)
Spencer, shall I ask you how often you see your son's penises or?

Chris (44:22.302)
Ken's pe- he did! Yes.

Luciano (44:22.622)
It multiple times, multiple times.

Matt (44:23.429)
that's fair. no, Ken Stad would have to see Ryu's penis to balance out the streams.

Spencer (44:31.758)
I'm just saying he's closer to Ken than Ken's dad.

Chris (44:31.902)
Mmm, I'm what?

Luciano (44:32.75)
Across the, across the streets?

Chris (44:35.198)
true, physically and awkwardly, but it's fact, and coquedly. And then don't let him, keep creeping him out, lay it on gentlemen, lay it on! Anyways.

Luciano (44:36.28)
How many

And coquedly.

Spencer (44:40.856)
Get back.

Matt (44:41.441)
I'm going to ask you different question because I don't want to be here.

Luciano (44:44.27)
Yes, please. I don't want to be here.

Matt (44:50.403)
So, Akuma, we don't have to talk about Akuma. He really dedicates himself to fighting and the craft of fighting and becoming one with the evil energies. It's a great question you asked Spencer to one end because in a world where the Street Fighter is bought by Dana White and the Endeavor Group for the Street Fighter branding and they lay off all the fighters, Akuma is no longer able to fight. What does he do?

Spencer (44:59.396)
To what end?

Luciano (44:59.437)
Yes.

Luciano (45:04.557)
Mm-hmm.

Luciano (45:20.75)
I mean, clearly the number one choice is motivational speaker. Obviously, obviously. And his whole brand is, know, if you feel like you're not enough, go to a cave and starve yourself to death until you turn into a black man. That's what he does. If you feel like you're not adequate, like you're not doing enough for your family, go to a cave and starve yourself until you become good. Right. So he has his...

Chris (45:24.648)
Come on!

Matt (45:27.289)
show you work.

Chris (45:46.494)
He's on brand. He's on brand. He's building a brand.

Spencer (45:48.804)
His first customer was Rachel Delidze. What's that girl's name?

Luciano (45:52.078)
Dol-Dolazar? Yeah. First- First and only- The first and only customer and then-

Chris (45:52.968)
Don, Don, Dozeel. my God. That was, you should shout out to Spencer. Give yourself a self. Give yourself a selfie vibe. You gotta slap it. You gotta slap it.

Matt (45:54.595)
Doll as hell, yeah.

Spencer (45:54.892)
Yeah, that's a deep cut boys.

Spencer (46:00.279)
it fair.

Matt (46:03.417)
Hehehehehe

Spencer (46:03.534)
Thank you, thank you, I'm proud of that one.

Luciano (46:06.018)
Yeah, that was good. He was the only customer and then they were both sued to oblivion. And that's it. That's the end.

Chris (46:09.585)
Yeah.

You

Spencer (46:13.604)
They were... Who were they sued by, you may ask? The human race. All of us. We all... We all united. It's the only thing that brought the world together.

Chris (46:15.186)
By whom?

Luciano (46:17.886)
Yes, exactly. All of us. The largest class action suit.

Chris (46:18.352)
What?

Matt (46:22.777)
Unfortunately, we only got five cents out of the case.

Chris (46:24.83)
Where is Rachel Dozier now?

Spencer (46:28.354)
It was worth it.

Luciano (46:31.099)
Yeah, here we did. no.

Chris (46:32.254)
She

Matt (46:37.825)
no.

Luciano (46:37.985)
No.

Luciano (46:44.375)
Of course.

Matt (46:46.659)
Yeah, sure.

Spencer (46:49.796)
Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-

Luciano (46:50.382)
No, she gave her name like an African name

Matt (46:50.615)
my god.

Chris (46:54.27)
She changed it and she was fired from her teaching job in Tucson, Arizona after the school district discovered her OnlyFans account. Never mind. Okay, so there you go.

Luciano (46:59.264)
Of course.

Matt (47:05.603)
That went places I didn't expect.

Spencer (47:05.828)
pretty sure her new name is pronounced with a click.

Luciano (47:10.076)
Hahaha!

Chris (47:10.736)
itchy.

Spencer (47:13.449)
Yeah.

Luciano (47:14.99)
Yes. She can't say it properly, but that's how it's supposed to be. Yeah. Yeah, if there's a wisdom one, there should be one.

Matt (47:15.511)
want to be here anymore.

Spencer (47:17.796)
I believe they're clicking Akuma too now.

Chris (47:19.144)
She shouldn't say it, but she did. Yeah. Kuma. Akuma.

Matt (47:23.091)
Hahaha

Matt (47:27.257)
I don't want to be here. going... We're flying too close to the sun and I don't care for it.

Chris (47:29.95)
Actually, I didn't do that properly. It's more like, it's more like, etchy diallo.

Spencer (47:35.477)
He can hey there rules rules for thee and not for me

Matt (47:35.661)
That's, you know what, Chris, that's fine. We shouldn't be here anyways. Yes, but Spencer shouldn't be driving us towards that point.

Chris (47:39.408)
I can, y'all can't.

Luciano (47:39.694)
He can do it.

Spencer (47:44.278)
I didn't say anything.

Chris (47:44.87)
Well, there's only one way to cross the gorge, gentlemen.

Luciano (47:47.554)
He didn't drive, he just let the car coast until it got there.

Spencer (47:50.808)
Yeah.

Chris (47:51.994)
Well, he let it coast, then someone put a brick on the accelerator, and now we're on the other side.

Matt (47:52.204)
Mm-hmm.

Luciano (47:55.841)
Yeah.

Spencer (47:56.452)
So what is Akuma's new job?

Luciano (47:59.886)
I rest my case.

Chris (47:59.91)
Yeah, yeah. What did you say?

Spencer (48:01.652)
I think he'd be a gym influencer or a fitness influencer. Who are the people, what are they called? Gym influencers? Is that the thing? Is that a word? It feels, yeah.

Chris (48:09.886)
yeah yeah yeah yeah fitness fitness well gym it is now fitness and fitness and flu influencers yeah

Matt (48:12.451)
Fitfluencer.

Luciano (48:13.89)
Fit Lancers. It is now.

Matt (48:15.769)
It feels like it. Yeah.

Luciano (48:21.27)
like on Instagram where he goes, here's one weird secret.

Spencer (48:22.818)
Yeah, but the

Chris (48:25.362)
Yeah.

Matt (48:25.389)
Yeah, the ones that are like, I don't eat vegetables or grains because they're bad for me.

Spencer (48:30.04)
Yeah.

Luciano (48:30.638)
like the dude that eats like five pounds of liver every day

Chris (48:30.652)
I only eat fruits.

Matt (48:34.731)
Mm-hmm. That,

Spencer (48:35.086)
Like he'd be like, like a video with that AI talking. Spend one month in a cave with no food and you too could be like this. This Joe Sam, like jack, like fucking ripped.

Chris (48:45.682)
Yeah, because he's he's not techno. He's not he's not tech savvy and then likes to come through every now and then he's like, you know what? You know what the problem with shoes are. They don't support your arch the way they should. You don't even have you thought about barefoot shoes or Doc walks? Yeah. Akuma Akuma Akuma's out of something. Janet Janet Akuma Akuma's got these these these these these.

Luciano (48:49.571)
Yeah.

Luciano (48:55.904)
No!

Spencer (48:58.177)
That's right.

Matt (49:00.601)
You need duck walks

Spencer (49:01.693)
You need to... I like this guy!

Luciano (49:02.678)
HAHAHAHA

Matt (49:09.337)
You

Spencer (49:10.38)
I need me.

Matt (49:12.409)
Use my code, DocWalk25.

Spencer (49:13.844)
Yeah.

Luciano (49:15.47)
No! Use my code KUMAMATATA! Come on!

Chris (49:18.686)
Because you deserve to live your best life. Okay, and when you're at it, let's work figure out a way to do typewriter press ups on bars.

Spencer (49:18.924)
Yeah, Koola Matata, that's what it would be.

Matt (49:19.449)
Oh yeah, that's right. For 25 % off dog walks.

Spencer (49:23.012)
Yeah, can, you know what? We can make that code.

Luciano (49:23.65)
Hahaha

Spencer (49:32.876)
Yeah, he's supposed to be like, all hard work, no, just cut out fast food.

Luciano (49:38.414)
Yeah, exercise and eat rocks. That's what you're supposed to do.

Spencer (49:41.036)
and just consume hado. And buy my book, The Hado Experience. Yeah, the Hado way.

Chris (49:42.223)
you know, yes.

Luciano (49:45.398)
Yeah. yeah, the Hadoway!

Matt (49:45.805)
Yeah

Matt (49:50.093)
Yeah, the had a diet.

Chris (49:51.132)
That's right. What is huddle? And then does it and then.

Luciano (49:53.144)
Yeah.

Spencer (49:53.764)
You can have it all with the hat away.

Luciano (49:55.51)
How do we? Yeah.

Luciano (50:01.164)
Baby don't hurt me.

Spencer (50:01.966)
And then he'd go on Rogan and he'd like claim all these claims. Yeah, yeah, I could see it all.

Luciano (50:05.696)
Yeah, clearly it goes on Joe Rogan. 100%.

Chris (50:09.694)
The last time I saw my brother, he was under my foot. And then Joe Rogan's like, what do in what context? And then he's like, the same, it's like, meh-sah-tsu, destruction, Rogan.

Spencer (50:16.942)
haha

Luciano (50:18.686)
Yes, every context.

Spencer (50:21.356)
No, Joe Rogan would be like, you think you could beat up an orangutan? Those things are so strong, man, they could rip your face off.

Chris (50:26.846)
Yeah

Matt (50:26.937)
You

Luciano (50:27.408)
Yeah, yeah, he would say that.

Yeah. Anyway.

Chris (50:34.139)
And then like, and then there'd be a long pause between, a long pause, Rogan just waiting for some kind of response, Akuma.

Spencer (50:35.934)
The vlog!

Matt (50:44.119)
Yeah, Cumberland's definitely smoking weed.

Spencer (50:45.507)
Yeah.

Luciano (50:46.606)
Is he? I think it's cocaine, it's not weed. He's too intense.

Matt (50:47.598)
Yeah, definitely.

Spencer (50:48.132)
He's all natty.

Chris (50:49.054)
He is well intense, but at the same time practically he lives off the land. So I think he'd be more weed, more marijuana than something synthetic or not from the earth. Cause he's like

Matt (50:55.799)
Yeah, more natural. Yeah. Yeah.

Luciano (50:57.93)
I see, more natural, I see.

Matt (51:04.588)
Alright, that's fine. We've gone from what his job would be to his entire life story. We got enough. I think we're good. It's a lifestyle. I understand that.

Luciano (51:11.288)
Because it's not a job, Matt, it's a way of living.

Chris (51:14.46)
Oooooh! The Hado way! The Hado way is THE way!

Spencer (51:14.744)
The Hado way is not a job. It's a way of life.

Luciano (51:17.356)
The Hataway!

Matt (51:20.761)
But I want to ask you different question before I run out of time and you assholes are making it very difficult.

This is why I can't transition naturally. There has to be a hard stuff. God damn it. God damn it. Hey, who would win in a fight between, in that fight between Akuma and Goken, because they tease it at the end. I know there is a technically lore answer, but based on what we were shown in the movie, who do you think wins the fight and kind of maybe describe how it goes down?

Luciano (51:29.568)
No. You have to transition unnaturally like Akuma did.

Spencer (51:29.677)
into a black man?

Chris (51:35.326)
Yeah

Spencer (51:54.862)
Well, as someone who knows nothing, just assume that Akuma would strike him down and he would become more powerful than he could ever imagine.

Chris (51:55.102)
Yeah.

Matt (52:03.011)
Great. No notes. What a dyad.

Luciano (52:04.416)
Okay.

Spencer (52:06.244)
You can't just use dyad in all meaning! What a dyad! That's how that word becomes all encompassing. That's so dyad of you to say.

Luciano (52:07.125)
fuck. Why?

Chris (52:09.628)
no notes, but a diet.

You know?

Luciano (52:17.966)
Yeah.

Chris (52:19.26)
I've got, I got a perspective. So they square up like Akuma comes back and they have those final words, attention builds to a crescendo. And then they square off round one. And then.

Matt (52:20.761)
You're welcome.

Chris (52:32.796)
Senso, like immediately before they they they launch into like the first the first attacks. Camera cuts to Senso who's in the forest. The wind, he's been charged with the tomes, right? The tomes and last words of their of their master and the wind blows he's like.

can't miss this fight. put money on this shit. I need to know. I need to, I need to know. I don't want to find out weeks later. I might as well go back and like see it for myself. Like it's the best, about to be the best bout of our time, of my time. I don't got much time left. So he turns back.

Spencer (53:08.098)
the pound for pound best in the world.

Chris (53:11.228)
That's right. In Japan. he goes back. then like, these brothers is boxing. They're scrapping. Okay.

Matt (53:22.531)
Like, Ken's style?

Luciano (53:24.254)
Yeah, yeah, both of them. Fist, just good old fisticuffs.

Chris (53:25.308)
Yeah, all they, since they know all, correct, almost like pugilism and like they know almost all of each other's moves, cause they came up with the same foundation, but they went off in two different directions. So like, it's like stalemate, stalemate, stalemate, stalemate. And so Senso's like, sorry, sorry. Okay, so saltwater taffy. And so Senso's like, like I cannot.

Spencer (53:25.592)
What tooth?

Matt (53:26.32)
The old one too.

Matt (53:33.215)
old British style.

Luciano (53:44.526)
That's not what that sounds like. That sounds like something else.

Luciano (53:51.786)
Yeah, exactly. Stay on mate.

Matt (53:52.569)
Still, mate.

Chris (53:54.406)
Cannot lose this money or like I'm not gonna be able to get the gabagool. I was counting on so he's he's Listen so he's waiting he wants to see everyone wants to see who comes out on top the frogs the birds the bees Senzo his money and Bruce buffer Correct

Luciano (54:00.226)
Why did that sound so gross?

Luciano (54:05.774)
Uhhh...

Spencer (54:10.212)
Bruce Buffer.

He's there. FIGHTING! Out of the red corner!

Chris (54:18.494)
And yes, sir. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And said those like, shit, man. I mean, like, if Okuma wins, like, this makes a lot of sense. Like, can't I can't really like come out and tell people that I bet against my the people that I've served like the majority of my life to but like, Goken may have chance but I mean, like these two these two motherfuckers is boxing and I'm not really seeing a clear winner right now.

Matt (54:20.825)
Hey, hey Chris, just, you are gonna answer who wins? Okay, thank you.

Spencer (54:43.2)
my god, get to Hooty Bedon!

Chris (54:47.23)
He bet on Akuma, but it came out to a draw. Neither, it was draw because they both got to the top of the mountain. They both, I did this actually, but the listeners will never know. So I gave it the old college try. We need to post this so that folks can understand that I did not make any of those sound effects in Senso.

Spencer (54:48.276)
Okay. And who won?

Luciano (54:55.342)
It was...

Spencer (54:56.676)
Yeah, it a still me.

Luciano (54:58.25)
As tail mate.

Luciano (55:06.85)
mean, they will if we post this on YouTube at some point.

Matt (55:14.455)
You made the sound effect. It doesn't matter which hands we are. It still sounded the same.

Chris (55:16.432)
It was like this. No, it's different. It wasn't this one.

Luciano (55:18.114)
Yeah, that's not... Docking isn't bet... Docking isn't better!

Spencer (55:18.35)
We're not gonna release the video. We're not releasing the video. We're not releasing the video. He did it with his penis. Moving on.

Luciano (55:24.755)
Hahaha!

Matt (55:25.271)
You

Spencer (55:27.458)
Now the listeners know.

Luciano (55:28.43)
He did it with his two penises.

Spencer (55:30.638)
Ha ha ha

Chris (55:32.69)
See, that I will allow.

Matt (55:34.457)
He left his penii together and here we are.

Chris (55:36.222)
I wasn't about to smite the first statement, but that one I will allow.

Matt (55:41.241)
I think we're done here. Let's do what we always do and we review our movies. We've been gone for a while, allegedly. And so we are going to rank it with the S tier system. S is the highest, F is the lowest. Yeah. Let's go with Spencer. We might as well get whatever you remember the side of your brain quickly.

Luciano (55:45.438)
It's, We do, allegedly.

Chris (55:51.494)
you back on the rails, folks.

Luciano (56:04.824)
Hahaha!

Spencer (56:06.212)
Okay, I'll be quick. Like I said, I already told everybody I don't know anything about this and I had no emotional attachment. I know everybody thinks I'm gonna just give it an F, but I only give things Fs when I think they're made out of, when I hate them, like they make me angry. usually that's like a blockbuster of some kind that's made with so little care and just like so much fucking.

You know I'm saying no love of any kind. There's just fucking made by producers or what bullshit. I didn't like this movie at all. Pacing was first active, but I but I could tell it was made by people who wanted to make it and they were trying to make something good with what access money everything they had. So for that reason I will give it a D.

Chris (56:35.122)
Yeah. Yeah.

Spencer (56:55.298)
Because I think I honestly think they made it as good as they could have with what they had. Actually, that's not true. They could have edited it down and made it better and that wouldn't have cost that much. But still, if this movie was like tightened down to like an hour and 40 minutes and then they had an ending, it would have been much higher. But I understand it being now knowing that it's a TV show and that was supposed to be the cliffhanger of season one.

Luciano (56:55.31)
Okay.

Matt (56:55.939)
That's fair.

Luciano (57:05.62)
Yes.

Luciano (57:16.332)
Yeah.

Spencer (57:23.704)
with the planning to go into season two makes much more sense than having like a full encapsulated film. So that makes it not be like super bad. So D for me.

Matt (57:35.275)
All right, Luciano, what do you got?

Luciano (57:37.486)
Um, so actually it was going to be somewhat similar. the description is similar. I know a lot about Street Fighter. love Street Fighter and I really love that they went out of their way to do justice to the material. Like they did, they did like a full on, know, Shun Goku Satsu, like the, the white screen move that everybody knows from it. It's, it's Raging Demon. Thank you. Uh, and what, you know, and yeah.

Chris (57:56.998)
Yeah, raging demon. Yeah. When Akuma kills his old master and like comes in and he's like almost floating almost. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Spencer (58:00.388)
Which one's that?

Spencer (58:06.468)
Like, like teleports? Yeah.

Luciano (58:07.95)
And he flow and then the screen flashes and then he gets the brand on his back. That is like so incredibly close to how it works on the video game. there are other little things that like it. There's a lot of little things that showed that they really love this movie or just they love this lore. But yeah, the pacing of this movie was fucked. This wasn't a movie. It's just like a bunch of things strung together. So if I was

Chris (58:13.787)
Yeah.

Epic in the game. Yeah.

Luciano (58:37.55)
rating this like as a TV series, this would be like an A or a B. But as a movie, I cannot. This would be, this is a C for me. As much as I love the material and the lore and the characters, it was a hog to get that middle part of it was kind of a slog to get through. And I was very angry at there being no ending. So it would be a C for

Spencer (58:42.969)
Wow.

Matt (59:04.035)
Fair enough. I will go next. I think I'm in the same camp as Luciano. think that there are some really great ideas and really fun things that happen in the movie and they are held together by some really slowness and pacing issues and like it to the point of if I was watching this as a movie and not for the podcast, I don't know if I would have gotten through some of those things where they just like

drop off into nothingness. may have, it's tough because like the high parts are really high, but those spots first just like it's doing nothing. Like the going to the bar scene to me is really interesting because they go to the bar, it's the first time they see people and you think, all right, we're going to see some real fighting. And they basically cut away from all the fighting and they come back just like drunk and beat up. And it's just like, man, like you couldn't spend a little time showing them beating the shit out of some people that would really cool. So something like that was just like,

Luciano (59:35.853)
Mm-hmm.

Luciano (59:53.688)
Drunk. Yeah, yeah.

Matt (01:00:02.761)
missed opportunity to me. you know it's a C because the highs are great and but like the lack of an ending and the two dueling plot lines that don't neither resolve and don't connect to each other throw it off as a movie but in terms of the story elements you know it's really strong so that's that's how I get to a C as well. Chris tell us all why you think we're wrong.

Chris (01:00:27.112)
I don't think any of you are wrong. I'm surprised with Luciano's rating, but at the same time, I'm glad I was right. this definitely gave us a lot to talk about and thanks team for being open to it means a lot. one could say that I have a bias because I mean, Luciano and I are both fans, but I think after a sea of bad movies that

that we've seen by choice. We decided to, it didn't happen to us. I think my exposure to this web series that someone repackaged into a one-shot movie format, stitched it all together, I think my experience is different because

Luciano (01:01:00.483)
Ha

Spencer (01:01:05.604)
you

Chris (01:01:23.184)
It's the thing I wasn't looking for, but totally wanted. And so I hear all of your feedback and I don't think you're wrong. For me, was an approach that was really welcome. By that, I I'm agreeing with like, filler could have been shorter, could have given us a resolution with like Goken and Akuma.

Why not? to the point, think Spencer was saying it, or some of you were saying it. If the bar scene wasn't going to be executed with legit fighting, then it could have given us bandwidth for Goken and Akuma to help us conclude. yeah, reflecting back on it, because I watched it twice. The first time I was in shock, I was like, whoa, that was fun. And then second for us, right? I do remember feeling like, that would have been nice if.

We could have seen it. Everything was building towards that. Is Goken gonna end up like their old master Gotetsu, completely annihilated? And the lore tells us that Goken does die. And they brought Goken back as a special character that you could pick up in the game and like, great! But it would have been great to have that kind of a... Sorry, shoot. Great. Yeah, yeah, yeah, to help Ryu and stuff.

Luciano (01:02:31.639)
Mm-hmm.

Luciano (01:02:38.798)
Brought him back into lore too. He comes back to life as far as I remember. Yeah. Yeah.

Chris (01:02:46.75)
And so I also see from like Matt and especially Spencer's perspective like no no resolution for a Goken Akuma No resolution from like Spencer newcomers perspective like like Ryu and Ken Didn't didn't go after I think Matt said the same thing like they also didn't square off against Akuma And there's a reason like I'm sure the team had their reasons. It would have been pretty interesting though if Goken Akuma squared off Goken dies

And then Ryu can go on that like, sorry, revenge, that revenge path. But I also pick up on the theme of like fatherhood, thanks to Lake Dad. Just, I'm just joking there. like Mr. Masters, I got you guys back. I was just pulling you back in. Mr. Masters, fatherhood, Goken, fatherhood, Gotetsu, a little bit of that fatherhood role.

Spencer (01:03:29.956)
check.

Luciano (01:03:32.362)
Hahaha!

Chris (01:03:41.086)
I picked up on that and it got me. So for me, sorry to go for so long and thanks for humoring me. For me, this was special. I'd this an A. I want to give it an S, but I can't anymore thanks to our conversation, which I honestly appreciate. So it was an A for me.

Luciano (01:04:01.452)
You're muted, Matt.

Chris (01:04:02.302)
Oh no, Matt. Was that the Matt's microphone or? I don't know.

Spencer (01:04:02.446)
Fuck you.

Matt (01:04:05.241)
god No, I Was taken aback I said some really inappropriate things. No, I was gonna just Delete everything you said and and post it but now that the joke is gone because I've muted myself like an asshole Let's move on next week. We are going to watch a really good movie because we're on the I'm just kidding. We're gonna watch electric state which apparently is shit. So

Spencer (01:04:07.758)
No, Matt was just taking it back.

Luciano (01:04:10.732)
Yeah.

Chris (01:04:13.788)
You

Spencer (01:04:16.888)
Your sincerity has no place here.

Chris (01:04:22.142)
You

Chris (01:04:31.838)
That's the trend we're on.

Matt (01:04:34.455)
At least we'll be able to talk about why the Russo brothers wasted $400 million. sorry. Let's be positive.

Spencer (01:04:34.68)
Hey, let's, let's...

Let's, well let's reserve our judgment until we see the Rotten Tomatoes score. What is it?

Matt (01:04:43.331)
Okay.

Matt (01:04:46.601)
19. I believe they do those out of 100. So no. Oh, maybe it's 16 now. Maybe it dropped 3 % since we started recording this podcast.

Spencer (01:04:50.551)
I thought it was out of 20.

Luciano (01:04:53.133)
Yeah.

Chris (01:04:53.925)
Ha ha!

Chris (01:04:59.102)
Listen!

Luciano (01:04:59.433)
Hahaha

Spencer (01:05:01.543)
Well, I am looking forward to it. How could

Chris (01:05:02.75)
Bye!

Matt (01:05:06.137)
But that's just the critics, the audience 70%. So that's always a great sign. Yeah. I mean, the audience is... Yeah.

Spencer (01:05:09.796)
Really?

So that means it's dumb.

Luciano (01:05:13.358)
Wasn't it similar to how Nosferatu was? Like really low for the critics and like pretty good score for the... Was it the opposite? That was the opposite, okay. So then you know it's like a movie that smells its own farts. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Chris (01:05:17.811)
border.

Spencer (01:05:20.952)
No, Nosferatu is really high for the critics. Yeah. Whenever you get a movie...

Matt (01:05:24.409)
Yeah, the critics liked it, yeah.

Spencer (01:05:28.686)
Whenever you have a movie that's really good critic score, really low audience score, it usually means it's like deep. Yeah. And like there's some deep meetings that you actually have to like kind of really look into to understand exactly. You to watch a video essay to really appreciate it. And then if whenever you see a high audience score and a low credit score, it means it's like it's going to have quips and it's going to have a lot of CGI and it's going to start the Dwayne the Rock Johnson.

Matt (01:05:29.389)
Yeah. Yeah.

Chris (01:05:29.886)
Thank you.

Luciano (01:05:33.973)
Auteur.

Luciano (01:05:38.73)
watch video essays on it.

Luciano (01:05:48.162)
Dumb fun.

Matt (01:05:48.419)
Venom.

Yeah, venom.

Chris (01:05:52.092)
It's Chris Pratt. What do you expect?

Matt (01:05:55.033)
Yeah, it's venom is the greatest example. Venom is 31 tomato meter in 80 % people. Yeah.

Luciano (01:06:01.28)
no. The first venom? First venom isn't that bad.

Spencer (01:06:03.812)
The first Phantom was, I saw that in theaters and it was one of the worst movies I ever seen. I laughed so hard in that movie, but it wasn't with the movie, it was at the movie.

Matt (01:06:07.149)
That's why I got 30.

Luciano (01:06:08.259)
Yeah.

Luciano (01:06:13.934)
He was at the movie.

Matt (01:06:17.529)
Was that the movie? Yeah. Chris, to your point, oh, Morpheus is another example, 15 % but 71%. So we're gonna watch Morpheus again. Yeah. I would think so.

Chris (01:06:17.563)
there we go.

Luciano (01:06:24.942)
my god, you're watching more. What about Madam Web? Madam Web is going to be the same.

Spencer (01:06:25.181)
no!

Wow. No, Madame Webb is I'll bet you audience score from Madame Webb's 46 and critics is like 12. No, no, 14.

Chris (01:06:30.728)
Check that and I'm.

Matt (01:06:37.977)
11 and 54.

Luciano (01:06:41.474)
That's, jeez, I thought it was gonna be higher.

Spencer (01:06:41.924)
That's too high.

Matt (01:06:44.117)
Yeah, arguably too high.

Chris (01:06:44.99)
I'm checking Borderlands. Oh, Borderlands got 10 % rotten.

Matt (01:06:49.886)
And... Audience?

Luciano (01:06:50.153)
And?

Chris (01:06:51.438)
And sorry, I'm loading, sorry, it's still loading.

What's the guess?

Luciano (01:06:58.466)
I'm gonna guess 75.

Chris (01:06:59.011)
Matt. shoot. Matt's the closest 49%.

Matt (01:07:00.985)

Luciano (01:07:06.318)
that is that

Spencer (01:07:06.882)
No, I'm the closest. said, when I say 50, no, I 58.

Matt (01:07:07.897)
Yeah, that's So five.

You're done. We are watching the, what was it? Millie Bobby Brown, Chris Pratt, Stan Tucci vehicle. Is he in that too? Everybody's in it. Anthony Mackie. No, he's not. The elected state. The elected stove. I'd watch that.

Luciano (01:07:12.012)
Yeah.

Chris (01:07:12.494)
I'm sorry. Okay.

Chris (01:07:19.632)
Get excited!

Spencer (01:07:21.166)
Stanley 2G vehicle.

Luciano (01:07:22.215)
that movie. Yeah. Okay. I've seen like, I've seen like blurbs, right?

Chris (01:07:23.422)
Ayy, Giancarlo Esposito vehicle.

Spencer (01:07:28.484)
He's not taking he's not saying no to any rules

Chris (01:07:28.829)
Mm-hmm.

Luciano (01:07:33.122)
What's the name of the movie? Electric Stover?

Chris (01:07:34.706)
Electric State. Electric stove!

Spencer (01:07:35.076)
That sounds better. I'd like to see a four million dollar budget movie called the electric stove. It's getting too powerful!

Matt (01:07:43.331)
We're gonna watch one. It's it's on fire. Yeah, so join us next week where we

Spencer (01:07:49.444)
Didn't Snow White break the record for lowest Rotten Tomatoes score?

Matt (01:07:52.781)
Hey man, I'm just trying to get out of this podcast.

Chris (01:07:53.31)
Apparently.

Luciano (01:07:54.092)
He's trying to... It's like we're for... It's like we're for God because...

Spencer (01:07:55.044)
We're talking lowest ratings, I'm curious.

Matt (01:07:58.199)
Yeah, well go with the vibe of the host of, we're this shit up.

Chris (01:07:58.942)
Yes!

Spencer (01:08:02.766)
People need to know this.

Luciano (01:08:03.278)
We went for like six years without recording and now we forgot how it works.

Matt (01:08:09.817)
You really want to waste our time? Snow White. Like, because of the racism or?

Spencer (01:08:10.488)
I want to know how low Snow White is.

Well, it has apparently the lowest Rotten Tomato score ever.

Chris (01:08:16.36)
There are many reasons.

Matt (01:08:20.651)
No, that's not true because there's like zeros.

Spencer (01:08:22.809)
Well, like-

Luciano (01:08:24.034)
Are there zeros? I've never seen zeros.

Matt (01:08:26.164)
I thought there was zeros.

Luciano (01:08:27.982)
I'm not saying there aren't, I'm saying I've never seen them.

Chris (01:08:28.318)
I think it was.

We can't end this podcast like Street Fighter or Assassin's Fist did. There must be a resolution.

Spencer (01:08:34.243)
There must be an ending.

Luciano (01:08:36.034)
That's...wait... Yeah, that's fine. Critics? Wow.

Matt (01:08:36.217)
This is, this is fine, it's 40 % and 73 % somehow.

Spencer (01:08:40.004)
40 % rotten tomatoes? I read something.

Matt (01:08:43.597)
Critics, yeah. I mean, I haven't watched the movie, but I can tell you from watching the trailer, it's fucking uncanny, scary territory. You didn't need to CGI all the doors, and you did, and it looks like shit. And after that, I don't care. I think the biggest problem with Snow White, if we're gonna go down this road since Spencer Minnis do it, is no one gives a fuck about Snow White. It is so fucking old that anybody who cares about it is dead.

Luciano (01:08:54.197)
wow.

Luciano (01:09:03.406)
Yes. Yeah.

Yeah and anybody who doesn't know about it doesn't care enough to find out about it. Anyway on that super high note.

Spencer (01:09:11.428)
True.

Chris (01:09:11.518)
He's not lying. wow.

Spencer (01:09:17.699)
Yeah.

Matt (01:09:19.779)
Electric State.

Spencer (01:09:20.842)
Electric State! If you've seen this movie, you're not dead.

Matt (01:09:24.673)
Next week, come back and we're gonna talk about it. And if it's really bad, Spencer and I will talk about Mickey 17, because we're gonna watch it.

Luciano (01:09:24.686)
I electric stove.

Chris (01:09:27.902)
Please, we're here. We're cooking.

Luciano (01:09:29.262)
You

Chris (01:09:34.974)
that meant Pattinson as Mickey.

Luciano (01:09:35.403)
is that supposed to be bad too?

Matt (01:09:38.401)
Spoilers I've heard I've heard it's mixed reviews. We'll let you know. Maybe we'll do a little a quick a quick spoiler. Goodbye

Spencer (01:09:38.882)
Little tease.

Luciano (01:09:42.656)
Okay, all right, let's get out of here.

Chris (01:09:42.716)
Interesting.

CHECK OUT!

Spencer (01:09:47.832)
Bye!

Chris (01:09:50.782)
Bye!

Spencer (01:09:51.076)
doing it!