Matt (00:00.81)
Hello and welcome to Popcorn and Plot holes or as I like to call this one Plot holes.

Luciano (00:09.235)
pop the plot holes is what we... yeah yikes

Matt (00:13.664)
Popcorn optional.

Matthew Ward (00:15.182)
It helps.

Matt (00:18.198)
We watched 2024 The Killer. John Woo directed Eric Cantona vehicle. Not the 2023 David Fincher directed Michael Fassbender vehicle.

Luciano (00:32.423)
David Fincham, yeah. No, no, no, we didn't do that because that is a good movie and we don't do that here.

Matthew Ward (00:41.214)
No. Some of us may have got them confused and maybe did extra work. you know. Yeah.

Matt (00:43.209)
No, we don't. Some of us tried.

Luciano (00:47.219)
Did it extra work?

Matt (00:51.638)
Some of us watch both,

Some of us are named Matt or other Matt.

Matthew Ward (01:01.591)
Hello? You're surrounded.

Luciano (01:01.702)
I'm surrounded by mats.

Matt (01:05.755)
And Luciano is here as well, as you heard.

Luciano (01:09.732)
yeah, technically I am.

Matt (01:12.31)
Let's dive into this. It's not wasting any time. It's not, you know, jump around the obvious here. Let's talk about the good parts of the movie because, you know, there are probably some, I guess. don't know. Luciano. Good luck. mean, go first.

Luciano (01:18.427)
Okay

Luciano (01:29.715)
I actually have two things to choose from. I think I'm going to go with, I just liked Omar Sy's character, I really like, I wish he was the main character of this movie, not Z. No, just like a cop that isn't a complete idiot. I really liked that scene where he's running after Coco and the dude.

finally walks near the water and he picks up the child to be like the hostage. And usually this is like super slow in all movies and it turns to the cop and they go, no, the child. And he kind of like anticipated it and moved to the side. So when he picked up the kid, he still had a clear shot. That was, that was really, I was like, this is really cool. That's really well, but like, that was really cool.

Matt (02:01.472)
Mm

Luciano (02:25.157)
So yeah, I really enjoyed his character. I think he was done dirty a lot by this movie.

Matthew Ward (02:32.514)
Hahaha!

Matt (02:32.638)
Yeah, the entire police force, perhaps. We'll get there. Don't worry. There's lots of time, Matt, Matt, what did you what did you enjoy with this movie?

Luciano (02:35.188)
Yes, we'll get to that.

Matthew Ward (02:35.361)
Hahaha

Matthew Ward (02:39.701)
Ugh.

Matthew Ward (02:47.841)
Hmm. I mean, I also very much like the main, like the cop, the main cop. just felt like of all, like he was taking this seriously and actually had a reason to take it seriously. Like it felt like Z's motivation was just not there. I mean, but that being said, I have a weird soft spot for like British women.

Luciano (03:06.728)
you

Matthew Ward (03:15.498)
I just don't know what it is, like specifically, like, well, not just British women in general, but like for some reason I had a really big crush on Scary Spice when I was a kid and just any girl that has that same kind of hair, I'm into it. Like that frizzy hair, that like British accent, I'm just down. 100%. Like she could literally have said nothing and I would have been paying attention. Especially with that whole scene. So this is what brings me to my favorite scene.

Matt (03:17.174)
In Paris? Or just, or just British women, okay.

Luciano (03:32.402)
Okay.

Matthew Ward (03:45.467)
is when she goes into the dance club with Dollar Store

Matt (03:51.942)
Yeah.

Luciano (03:51.965)
Yeah. Yeah.

Matthew Ward (03:52.743)
You remember that? Yeah. And Magnum P .I. like never exercised in his life, Magnum P .I. Like that thing. Yeah. So she's got this like Josephine Baker haircut and that like sultry dress. And I'm just like, I was very much into that scene until, you know, until it actually went through with what was going to happen in the scene. And I was just like,

Luciano (04:01.297)
Yeah.

Matt (04:12.287)
Matt (04:18.934)
So it was kill me mommy and then no mommy stop it hurts

Matthew Ward (04:22.691)
No, no stop. It hurts too much. It's basically where I was going is all I'm saying.

Matt (04:28.544)
That's fair. No, that's good. You stayed on task, which that's the best part of this. And we're not going to talk about how the only thing you could say that was nice about this movie was that, you know, yeah, that's great. Good job. Great movie. Yeah, that's fine.

Matthew Ward (04:34.505)
Hahaha!

Luciano (04:34.765)
Hahaha

Luciano (04:40.007)
Nedley Emanuel is pretty. Yeah, yeah. We're not gonna talk about that, no.

Matthew Ward (04:42.182)
Yeah, like, I mean, you know, I can't help it, man.

Matt (04:49.302)
It's fine, don't worry about it. Listen, there's two things in this movie that made me smile. One, I did not know that since Eric Antonia hung up the spikes that he had such an illustrious acting career. So that was very enjoyable for me. He was not bad. His role was limited, but he was effective. And the other thing.

Luciano (05:02.63)
Hahaha

Matthew Ward (05:05.169)
You

Luciano (05:06.353)
No, it was not.

Luciano (05:11.153)
mean, you've seen him play soccer, right? So we knew that he could play an asshole really well. exactly. So wait a couple of years and it gets you then doing the same thing. Yeah.

Matt (05:15.016)
Great actor. Yeah, it's true.

Matt (05:20.888)
That's, that was his .O. You're right. He didn't have to, he just played Eric Cantona. What am I thinking?

Matthew Ward (05:26.181)
Yeah.

Matt (05:29.618)
Yeah, he might as well. And the other thing I liked about this movie is at times it was charming, you know, the one scene that I had to chuckle at that I was really cute was in the hospital when Se and Z, you know, meet up with each other and kind of shoot their respective hitmen. And then she gets to the drop on him and punches him and knocks him out.

Luciano (05:36.861)
Hmm

Luciano (05:53.233)
Yeah, I like that scene too. Are you awake?

Matt (05:54.004)
And then she leaves and he comes back and she's like, are you awake? And he doesn't move. And then she puts the gun to him and like, okay, I'm awake. She's like, sorry. Yeah, me too. And she knocks him out for real. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I, you know, overall, think I just really like Omar C as an actor. He primarily does French. Maybe it's, I don't know how to pronounce it. Omar.

Matthew Ward (05:59.642)
Yeah.

Luciano (05:59.859)
Yeah, yeah, no his face was what what so that that's like yeah, I'm awake

Matthew Ward (06:13.605)
Yeah.

Luciano (06:15.889)
Is it C? I thought it was Psy. I don't know. Omar.

Matt (06:22.48)
You know, he, think maybe his biggest role to date before this is Lupin. He's all the Lupin, he does all the Lupin, I think there's a couple seasons on Netflix where he's like a criminal pickpocket. It's like a, it's a classic French tale and he plays the main character and he's really good at it. Yeah, same thing. He's also Ratatouille.

Luciano (06:36.381)
Mmm.

Luciano (06:46.107)
classic Frenchier ratatouille. Well, he plays the rat. I see.

Matthew Ward (06:49.497)
Yeah. Yeah.

Matt (06:54.014)
Yeah, he's the rat. Anyway, so those were really enjoyable for me. I think it was really fun. Let's dive into this. think I want to start with Sam Worthington's ever disappearing or reappearing Iris accent.

Luciano (07:07.923)
Yeah, he's an Irishman from Perth Irishman from Melbourne

Matt (07:15.208)
It's one of these things where it's like, why? In a movie where his Irishness really didn't do anything, yeah.

Luciano (07:22.13)
Yeah.

Matthew Ward (07:25.922)
was not necessary. Yeah, it added nothing.

Luciano (07:28.037)
Yeah, why not just have him be Australian? He can never be Australian. He's either playing Americans or like... No, he's Australian. Just let him be Australian. Does it make a difference? Or get maybe a decent Irish actor? You know what mean?

Matthew Ward (07:34.66)
Isn't he English though? I he was English.

Matt (07:50.366)
Nah, there are no Irish actors in Hollywood.

Matthew Ward (07:51.184)
there's one I believe his name is Michael Fassbender. He's German Irish, is he not? And it just so happens.

Luciano (07:53.306)
wow.

Luciano (07:56.959)
And ironically would have been fantastic as Finn in this movie.

Matt (08:00.139)
I do think he could do better job.

Matt (08:07.008)
Ha ha ha.

Matthew Ward (08:09.623)
Just sayin'. Just sayin'.

Luciano (08:10.225)
Yeah. Just get Conor McGregor to play. Fucking.

Matthew Ward (08:14.209)
Yeah, like we're just dancing around the fact that Conor McGregor needed to be. This was the role he was made for.

Luciano (08:18.425)
Yeah, needs to be hot, hot, hot. Yeah, that guy. Yeah, there he is. Yeah, I don't like honestly, I was scared when I saw that he was going to be like the well, I didn't know he was going to be the villain at first. But when I saw he was going to be important in this, I was like, God, I'm to have to suffer through another Avatar two here. But it was actually OK.

Matthew Ward (08:22.775)
There he is. There he is.

Luciano (08:48.869)
It's just that he forgot that he had to put on an accent sometimes and sometimes he sounded very Australian.

Matthew Ward (08:55.926)
I know, Sam Worthington does what Sam Worthington does. And I still have yet to figure out what that is.

Luciano (08:56.946)
I don't know.

Luciano (09:01.796)
Yeah.

Matt (09:06.527)
I was gonna ask what that was, but no, think Fast Bender could have worked. Maybe Colin Farrell.

Luciano (09:08.487)
Yeah.

Matthew Ward (09:08.553)
Hahaha!

Luciano (09:15.965)
Colin Farrell was the one I thought, yeah.

Matthew Ward (09:16.688)
Colin Farrell would have been perfect being weird and creepy.

Matt (09:20.468)
Yeah. Yeah, it's fine. I mean, think there's lots of options there or you just let them be Australian. It's fine. Like, who cares? It doesn't really... It's only like racial stereotypes that force you to want to have an Irish person or an Irish -accented person.

Luciano (09:20.987)
Yeah, comes naturally.

Luciano (09:28.038)
Yeah.

Luciano (09:35.089)
Yeah, he has to be Irish because he walks into a Catholic church at one point like what the fuck? Yeah.

Matthew Ward (09:41.346)
There was a lot of Catholic in here, so I guess that was the reason.

Matt (09:41.994)
than he's gonna be.

Yeah, but then, yeah, that's fine. Yeah, just do it properly.

Luciano (09:46.095)
make him be Italian then and get an Italian actor like it doesn't really matter. The only thing that was important was for him not to be French, right from the his resentful blah, blah, blah. Sure.

Matt (09:59.284)
Yeah. Could be from Canada for all we care. Just fuckin... I'll paint your fuckin fence, eh boy?

Luciano (10:02.971)
yeah, get, get, Yeah. No, get, get, what's his face? Look, here's the Quebecois to play.

Matthew Ward (10:11.155)
Some guy from some guy from From the East Coast there is like I'm looking for a fucker a fucker fight I don't see your sister nowhere nearby. Well, I think would have done great just starting fights there

Matt (10:12.416)
yeah, Kevin Durand.

Matt (10:19.787)
Yeah.

Matt (10:23.442)
Yeah. You know what? Let's just send, let's just send Jared Kiso and, fucking be done with it.

Luciano (10:24.017)
Yeah.

Matthew Ward (10:28.576)
Hahaha!

Yeah, come on, that's all we needed.

Luciano (10:35.815)
That would have been, can you imagine just the most Canadian, just call him Gord Mackenzie, right? The criminal from Canada. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That would have been funny.

Matthew Ward (10:35.975)
Alright.

Matthew Ward (10:41.984)
He would have been named Mackenzie. That's what everyone in Canada's name is Mackenzie. I'm pretty sure I'm convinced.

Matt (10:44.085)
Well.

Matt (10:55.382)
That's not the only thing that's weird about this movie. It is John Woo. I think it's his second movie. He's made sort of a mini comeback. seemed like he was retired for a while. And then he came back and he did like Christmas movie. What was it called? Yeah. With... Yeah. He made it with... God. The guy from Suicide Squad.

Luciano (10:58.603)
Paint your fucking fence.

Luciano (11:08.157)
What was the first one?

boy.

Matthew Ward (11:12.062)
You made a Christmas movie?

Luciano (11:15.611)
John Woo made a Christmas movie. That has got to be his thing to see.

Matthew Ward (11:25.884)
Will Smith?

Matt (11:28.15)
Joel, no Joel Kinnaman. Yeah. I guess he's all, so sorry. To Be Fair, he's always been working, because I'm looking at his IMDB and it's like 2024, 2023 with Silent Night, that was what it was called. And then the last movie he made before that was 2017, Manhunt.

Luciano (11:29.361)
Joe Kinnaman.

Matthew Ward (11:30.344)
I'm joking.

Luciano (11:42.611)
Go!

Luciano (11:46.365)
So Silent Night, not Violent Night. Yeah, OK.

Matt (11:49.078)
Yeah, it's a very different Christmas movie.

Matthew Ward (11:51.557)
you

Matt (11:52.662)
Maybe he came back to American cinema, because the ones before that looked like they are Hong Kong or Chinese language films. But yeah, so he's been back. He's made two. Hey. I don't like listen, John Woo is one of the masters, one of the classics. He helped define, you know, action movies in North America and in Hong Kong, you know.

Luciano (11:55.919)
okay.

Matthew Ward (11:59.932)
Mm.

Luciano (12:00.793)
Hmm

Luciano (12:09.819)
Yeah.

Luciano (12:18.385)
yeah.

Matt (12:22.39)
You know, he did hard boiled, hard target, broken arrow, face off is the best one. And my two, so many good movies. and I wanted this to be good, but I mean, it's all right. It's fine. Yeah. but, but, and it was, this is actually a remake of, of a 89 movie he made with Charlie.

Luciano (12:30.311)
Mm -hmm.

Matthew Ward (12:32.829)
Are we counting MI2 as good movie? I guess we are.

Luciano (12:36.709)
It's okay. It's it's it's better than MI3

Matthew Ward (12:41.774)
Me?

Luciano (12:49.989)
yeah that that was like because it shows in the beginning right it's like based on the motion picture written and directed by joe like this is like if this is not cinematic hand jibber i don't know what it is like a like self -joking yeah yeah exactly he gave him he gave himself a reach around yeah

Matthew Ward (13:04.988)
Just giving himself the old reach around there. The slow -mo dove -infused reach around.

Matt (13:15.331)
If you give yourself a reach around, you just...

Matthew Ward (13:15.62)
You know he masturbates with doves flying when he completes. Like that's what happens. The dog just...

Luciano (13:19.795)
yeah, 100%.

Matt (13:20.854)
That that would explain so many things. Well, I mean, this isn't this isn't the first time that he's he's I mean, done a remake of a, you know, movie he made in Hong Kong. He wants a thief is a remake trying to find his IMDbO looking at here. Yeah, so once a thief he made in Hong Kong in 91 and then he made it again in 96 in.

Matthew Ward (13:39.077)
Mm.

Matt (13:51.054)
North America So, you know, I guess it makes sense that you want you want to Adapt it for for the people who are watching it. I have not watched the original killer I did read the synopsis and it was much much simpler was John Fatt blinds a singer because he's shooting a gun too close to her face and he does one last job to I guess fix her eyes. That's the premise

Luciano (14:13.459)
look it makes more it makes sense like i was like wait a minute she fell she hit her head on like a really hard surface and the only thing that happened was she went immediately blind

Matt (14:22.228)
Yeah. That's it. I thought she was going to be a fucking just gone.

Luciano (14:29.019)
Yeah, I thought she was gonna die.

Matthew Ward (14:29.55)
thought she was gonna break her neck. That's literally what my thought was and I was like thank God that did my ears a favor. This brings up the fact that I just irrationally despised that music. That song was just like...

Matt (14:35.892)
Yeah.

Luciano (14:36.715)
my god, here we go.

Matt (14:43.658)
It's because tell the audience what happened. You mistakenly watched Michael Fassbender Killer right before you watched this movie.

Luciano (14:48.667)
The good movie.

Matthew Ward (14:49.394)
Okay, yes, so I watched a very good movie with competent acting not just competent skillful acting and dare I say like just Beautiful like it moves you and then I have to be subjected To whatever the hell that was. I don't even know like why that girl was so important and now that you explained to me

Luciano (14:57.458)
You

Luciano (15:11.578)
Hahaha!

Matthew Ward (15:15.876)
That Chow Yun Fat, was like the whole movie was surrounding that person. It makes more sense. I get it now, but she still was terrible in acting. That voice was awful. I felt like I was at an indie night at a organic coffee shop in the village. It was just bad and just stinky. Like it just smelled like patchouli and failure. Like it was just an awful scent. was the worst thing I'd ever heard in my life.

Luciano (15:42.83)
god.

Matthew Ward (15:45.625)
I was very upset, but mostly it was residual for being upset for the fact that I can't be talking about the actual killer movie, which is so much better than this. That's it, there's my rant, it's done.

Luciano (15:55.923)
To me, the weird thing to me is like, it's not like John Woo took someone else's story and tried to remake it and then fucked up. He took his own story, which sounds a lot more plausible. And he was like, you know what I'm going to do before I submit this new script, I'm going to wipe my ass with it. And then I'm going to submit it. I don't like...

Matt (16:00.889)
Ha

Matthew Ward (16:23.241)
It does feel a bit like, yeah. Start going.

Matt (16:24.126)
in his

Matt (16:29.664)
Well, was going to say in, his defense.

Matt (16:36.542)
He had to do something a little new.

Luciano (16:39.249)
Why? Most people wouldn't have seen that movie.

Matt (16:40.256)
Cause yeah, but like, I mean, the part of the problem is that you need to make a movie that is modern, right? Like with modern expectations. And so, know, a good ash, well, you know, ideally, you know, it's a, it's trying to do too many things, right? It's a, is it a movie about an assassin? No, it's a heist movie. No, it's a gangster movie. No, it's a cop movie.

Matthew Ward (16:50.71)
Yeah, so bad.

Matt (17:08.406)
And so it's like all of these movies roll up into one and it does none of them. Well, like if you think, if you think about just other movies that have probably done this premise, well, maybe the 89 killer is one of them. don't know. But if you think about like the, the, dance between the killer and, and sorry, the, yeah, the assassin and the cops, even fucking gun in 60 seconds does a better job than this one does. Right.

Matthew Ward (17:13.406)
No.

Luciano (17:13.435)
Yeah.

Matthew Ward (17:21.138)
Yep.

Luciano (17:33.907)
yeah, 100 %

Matthew Ward (17:36.563)
Yes, it's true. It's true. I just, yeah.

Matt (17:40.661)
And then like.

Luciano (17:42.301)
Fucking, fucking Hobbs and Shaw does a better job.

Matt (17:45.866)
Yeah, yeah, it does.

Matthew Ward (17:46.845)
I feel like this is like, cause he obviously knows what he's doing. Like it's John Woo. So I feel like this is him fucking with us. He's like, my movie's too simple or not simple enough for an American audience. So this is what he came up with. And he's like, there, this is what you idiots like now. So deal with it. That's what I feel like happened.

Matt (17:51.371)
Yes.

Matt (18:09.694)
I mean, I could, I think it's like that plus, you know, it was a, it was a streaming movie sent to Peacock, right? So it was made for the Peacock streaming service. I can definitely see him coming and be like, hey, I to remake the killers. This is the premise. It's simple and easy. We're going to focus on the action and the interplay between, you know, the assassin character and the singer character. you know, I like to tell it from the...

Luciano (18:11.047)
I mean, that's plausible.

Matt (18:37.992)
standpoint of it being two women instead of a guy and a girl and then peacocks like I'm we're gonna need another dude in there maybe two and we need some twists we gotta you know like I definitely see them just like because he's a master but I don't think he is someone that is respected in the same way by the suits and so they get easy be just like no we need all these extra fucking twists and turns

Matthew Ward (18:45.731)
Hahaha!

Luciano (18:59.932)
Are you saying Peacock West Side boysed him? Is that what you're saying?

Matthew Ward (19:00.825)
That's very likely.

Matthew Ward (19:07.313)
They were.

Matt (19:07.766)
yeah. I mean, either the side boys. I don't know. Yeah.

Luciano (19:09.532)
Okay.

They are, they, know, Warner Brothers, I could see that.

Matthew Ward (19:16.933)
I can see it too. Like they, very much has that feel of just like trying to add stuff for demographics. Like, I think these people will like that. And you know, like we need to get that man bun aesthetic in like what, like the dude Coco, for example, like who looks like that? What gangster who does like cocaine like that looks like he also comes from like a country club named Biff. Like he doesn't seem like the person, he seems like the person who uses cocaine.

Luciano (19:32.881)
Yeah, yeah.

Matthew Ward (19:46.758)
but not the person who is aware of how it's sold, why it's sold, because there's foreigners involved and he's not into that kind of stuff. You know what I mean?

Luciano (19:49.415)
not the person who sells.

Matt (19:57.321)
Right. Yeah.

Luciano (20:00.305)
Yeah, because like nobody goes into or, you know, people who know John Woo movies, nobody goes in expecting a plot like Tenant or, you know, I don't know, Citizen Kane. Nobody wants that even, right? We want a good action movie. I want exactly I want Nicolas Cage in a habit full of cocaine, head banging after potentially fondly a minor.

Matthew Ward (20:10.449)
Mm.

Matthew Ward (20:15.355)
No.

Matt (20:16.682)
I want face -off.

Matt (20:23.989)
Yeah.

Luciano (20:29.263)
and having fun!

Matthew Ward (20:32.475)
So you want every, you want every. Yeah.

Matt (20:32.495)
I wanna see John Travolta.

Matt (20:38.976)
I want to see Jonathan Volta try to be a copy of a Coke -Duff Nicolas Cage and fail. That's what I want to see.

Luciano (20:44.613)
Yeah, and failing. Yes. Yes, yes, exactly. Yeah. I'm Castor Troy!

Matthew Ward (20:49.381)
I love how you guys just described, you guys literally just described every Sunday mass that I went to, just every single one.

Luciano (20:56.579)
Hahaha!

Matt (20:56.64)
We're trying.

Luciano (21:00.241)
Yeah, but like, not necessarily in that order.

Matthew Ward (21:00.443)
Coked out, getting fondled. That's Sunday.

Matthew Ward (21:07.441)
Exactly.

Matt (21:07.844)
That's an answer for a question we're gonna have later on so you save that sir

Luciano (21:10.761)
Hahaha!

But like this is nonsensical even for him like... Now that you guys mentioned it, I guess it feels like he was sort of metal.

Matt (21:25.79)
It just, and this may be the point where we drift off into the blood holes, because there are some big ones, whenever I try to watch a movie, sometimes because we're doing this podcast, I have a habit of being overly critical. Just like Matt was a minute ago when he said this wasn't a good movie compared to Michael Fassbender's The Killer. Totally on call for us there.

Luciano (21:41.191)
Same, critical, yeah.

Luciano (21:50.441)
hahahaha

Matthew Ward (21:53.508)
I would decline, but I saw this movie.

Matt (21:54.07)
But so like... Yeah, it's fair. But at the same time, the plot holes we get to is just like... You gotta at least try to make it plausible. It's like you're showing me something and just being like, you see this? Fuck you.

Luciano (22:13.935)
Yeah, because this movie, this movie does at the same time to the things that I hate the most when it to like storytelling in movies. The first one is it, treats the audience like idiots. So it has to consistently point and repoint things. It's like, see, see, he's being framed. Look at the cocaine. We're going to talk about it. Right. But, and it also like, it knows it has like beats he wants to get to and he

Spends absolutely no effort trying to tie the the ends together. So it just jumps from like, yeah, she's great. She's great. Nobody knows who she is And then she fucks up. It's like fuck it. It's just this time. She just fucked up this time continue continue believing that she's great and It's like I have no reason to believe that she is anything other than an actress playing an assassin

Matt (23:07.71)
I mean, it's the same as the creation of the idea that the prince flew in the heroin. And then they hired a crew came in and stole the heroin. And then they hired another crew to steal the heroin from that crew. But like the first crew.

Matthew Ward (23:07.768)
Mm

Luciano (23:14.865)
Yeah.

Matthew Ward (23:15.886)
HA HA!

Luciano (23:23.572)
Yeah, who got stolen by a third crew. Yeah.

Matt (23:27.402)
Yeah, but it's like the first group of people stealing it don't matter at all to the story.

Luciano (23:33.637)
No, because they die immediately.

Matthew Ward (23:34.263)
Yeah.

Matt (23:36.542)
And it's like, why couldn't it just like, it's all just layered to, it's not layered with purpose, it's layered like, to like create an action scene. And in a way that just like, yeah, it doesn't, cause then you're just wasting time where you could actually be telling a story or giving me stakes. I mean, let's just dive into the plot holes, cause we're dancing around at this point. There's two, we're there. There's two big plot holes overall. We're basically slamming out of the door of the first one. So let's just go into it.

Luciano (23:46.725)
It's unnecessary,

Luciano (23:52.434)
Yeah.

Luciano (23:56.166)
Yeah.

Matthew Ward (23:56.2)
Yeah, we're there.

Matt (24:05.918)
and it's the cops. Parisian cops apparently are some of the worst cops in the history of the universe.

Luciano (24:13.533)
They're like creator level bad. Yeah. Yeah.

Matt (24:16.298)
Ooh, extremely bad, yes. Creator level is a great place to put it out. Because, let's just walk through some of the things that they do. I mean, listen, I like, say, but you're framed by the worst framed job of all time. So the framing job is one of the worst things I've ever seen. They just found in this open glass office.

Matthew Ward (24:17.642)
Yeah

Matthew Ward (24:34.209)
Yeah.

Luciano (24:35.942)
Yep.

Luciano (24:39.461)
Yeah, that they know he works in as a cop in a cop place. A precinct is the word I was looking for. A cop place. OK.

Matt (24:44.49)
All the time. Yeah. Right. Yes. No, no, it's better to stay a cop place just to make sure everybody knows. And they find two of the largest bricks of... Le Dunkin Donuts, sir. And they find two of the largest bricks of heroin you've ever seen. And honestly, it should have just been cocaine. Everything about it looked cocaine -y. I don't know why it had to be heroin, but...

Matthew Ward (24:49.12)
Yep, those kind of places.

Matthew Ward (24:56.926)
Is it a Dunkin' Donuts? Who knows.

Luciano (25:00.955)
Yeah, yeah.

You've ever seen in your life. Yeah. Yeah.

Luciano (25:12.581)
Yeah, why did it have to be heroin, not cocaine? Yeah.

Matt (25:14.102)
It's fine. We're not, that's not even a plot hole. just, it annoys me.

Matthew Ward (25:15.753)
Just a side note, large bricks of cocaine are frequently found at Dunkin' Donuts. Just letting you know.

Matt (25:23.853)
well that would work better for the story. Thank you.

Matthew Ward (25:25.035)
Like in the boots, in the donuts, it's everywhere.

Luciano (25:26.0)
There you go.

Matt (25:29.534)
Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Well, that makes more sense. But this is heroin, so worse. Two of the biggest bricks of heroin in his office and they're like, well, he's being, I don't even know what he's guilty of just because they found two bricks of heroin in his office, but he runs away. And then he needs to prove his innocence. And so the evidence to prove his innocence are finding, sorry. Okay.

Matthew Ward (25:34.058)
Yes.

Luciano (25:48.658)
Right.

Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. So he needs to prove his innocence. So he immediately, obviously, you know, contacts his partner who turns out to be, he didn't know, but it turns out to be crooked. And then the assassin who escaped from him twice at this point, helps him. And his idea of proving his innocence, you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to work with the queen of the dead. That's going to help me prove my innocence.

Matt (26:03.478)
first.

Matthew Ward (26:18.43)
Yeah. He's gonna work with Aulia. But she's already dead, isn't she? that's pretty dark. So anyway...

Luciano (26:23.708)
You

Matt (26:25.835)
Mm

Luciano (26:26.309)
yeah and that's the queen of the damned by the way slightly different i see now that was uncalled for

Matthew Ward (26:29.644)
okay, sorry. Well, she's the Queen of the Dead now.

Matt (26:29.726)
Yeah. Listen, you know what? This is this is still not your worst faux pas. Dionne Warwick. So you're fine.

Luciano (26:39.645)
Hahaha!

Matthew Ward (26:42.127)
Theonward Davis, you know.

Luciano (26:45.64)
this through.

Matt (26:47.206)
Damn Warwick Davis is not in this movie. So you're right, he does that. And then when he works with her, presumably because it's the only way to clear his name, the two biggest things would clear his name is, hey, we found all these drugs. And hey, we found the guy who masterminded this whole thing. Well, they kill that guy and they blow up all the drugs.

Luciano (27:02.481)
Yeah. Stole it. Yeah.

Luciano (27:09.562)
And the guy, they killed the guy and anyone around the guy who could have served as a witness. Yes.

Matt (27:14.622)
Anybody who had it, yeah, any witnesses whatsoever. Gone, correct. That was his plan. And so that's just Say's as a cop. Then we have the assassin cops, the assassins we found out were cops later, that Finn sends to go kill Jen in the hospital because Z won't do it. And they proceed to show up to the hospital, put silences on their guns.

Matthew Ward (27:16.424)
So anyone who could prove his innocence has got.

Luciano (27:23.847)
Yeah.

Luciano (27:34.397)
Jen. Yeah.

Luciano (27:42.387)
Like there was not even a single breath between finishing like screwing in the silencer and shooting someone across the room who had not even seen them. Like why? Yeah.

Matt (27:44.96)
and then shoot at every living thing that's in the hospital.

Matthew Ward (27:47.728)
Yeah.

Matt (27:59.072)
Mm -hmm. Yeah.

Matthew Ward (27:59.515)
Yeah, that's how silence works, That's what it is. It silences people.

Luciano (28:07.517)
There you go.

Matt (28:08.542)
Nothing says good assassination than... I believe they call that an American -style assassination.

Luciano (28:10.693)
like killing everyone in sight.

Matthew Ward (28:18.023)
Love you.

Luciano (28:18.084)
gonna make a really dark joke and I'm not going to. Let's move on. Yeah.

Matthew Ward (28:22.534)
So like, overkill.

Matt (28:23.488)
No, it's, I mean, yeah, well, just bring your gun to place and spray. Moving on. It's fine. We're gonna move on from that point.

Matthew Ward (28:28.454)
That's incidentally also how my Sunday masses were worked. Anyway.

Luciano (28:35.328)
hahahaha

Matt (28:35.455)
Yeah, well done sir. So

Matthew Ward (28:37.574)
I don't know if there was guns, but there was definitely spray.

Luciano (28:41.265)
Well, there's more, When they have Z in their custody, she escapes by pulling the keys to her handcuffs from a lanyard that the guy was carrying on his back. Yeah. Like, just carrying the keys there because why not? And she opens it like...

Matt (28:43.156)
Sure, mean, yeah, doesn't stop there.

Matt (28:49.259)
Mm -hmm.

Matt (28:59.338)
Yeah, one of those little like zippy zippy things. Yeah.

Luciano (29:09.599)
She pulls the little zippy thing, opens the thing and trips the cop in front of her when there was another cop right beside her looking at what she was doing. And she proceeds to slow motion run. We're going to get there, I know, but she proceeds to slow motion run, jump onto a banner, I guess that was, and slide down. Nobody thinks to shoot her in the leg or anything. Say... Because...

Matt (29:18.548)
Mm -hmm. Yep.

Matthew Ward (29:29.819)
Yeah.

No, because it was beautiful, Luciano, it was beautiful. It was a beautiful transition. It's like Cirque du Soleil. You can't not look away and you can't shoot no matter how much you want to shoot them. You just can't because of the beauty.

Luciano (29:41.988)
I see.

Luciano (29:49.563)
I see.

Matt (29:51.05)
To be fair, I'm pretty sure Cirque du Soleil is French -Canadian, not French -French, so that's a poor reference point,

Luciano (29:54.117)
Yeah, it is. are correct.

Matthew Ward (29:58.606)
I'm sorry.

Luciano (29:58.961)
But like, cause you could say, know, police like say, say got in trouble for like discharging his firearm and like killing Coco and whatnot and blah, blah, blah. And I was like, yeah, but this was a fusion. I'm not saying he should kill her. It's just shoot her in the leg so she can't run. That's it. Nope. Just that.

Matthew Ward (30:01.455)
It's both cheesy though.

Matthew Ward (30:21.093)
There was a lot of leg shots too in this too, so I mean it's not like they don't know how to do it.

Matt (30:21.173)
Yeah.

Mm -hmm.

Luciano (30:26.577)
Speaking of which, you want to talk about the first instance of incompetence when they go arrest Coco and like say he's about to arrest him and he just lets the guy go, gets elbowed in the face and then Jax is like what, two meters from him, if that? And storm troopers the shot and gets shot in the leg.

Matt (30:46.966)
Sure does. Well also, to be fair, if Jack, or if Coco had to live, do you probably have a reason for like police brutality? Because he didn't really do anything and Jack's was already shooting him. Classic cop maneuver. Like you're trying to arrest a guy, but you don't get to shoot him because he doesn't like, he didn't say anything. He didn't say, he just shot him immediately or tried to.

Matthew Ward (30:49.089)
Yeah.

Matthew Ward (31:02.273)
Yeah. Right.

Luciano (31:04.611)
Yeah

Matthew Ward (31:09.783)
Yeah, right?

Luciano (31:10.395)
Yeah. Yeah.

Luciano (31:17.557)
And that would have been in hindsight now I'm thinking about it that would have been a really bad move because if Jax was working for Finn when he betrayed say Coco was working for Finn too because he stole it for him

Matt (31:34.923)
No, it's a genius move. No witnesses.

Luciano (31:37.529)
Is it? No, they're on the same side! Well, I guess. I guess. Maybe that's why he shot him.

Matthew Ward (31:38.71)
No witnesses.

Matt (31:42.452)
Yeah, but Coco knows what he did. So you kill him and then you kill yourself. And then, well, he forgot to shoot himself. That was the step he missed. Yeah.

Luciano (31:51.087)
Yeah, that was a flaw in the plan.

Matthew Ward (31:54.592)
Yeah. He forgot to finish it off. This sounds like the writing for The Departed. That's what it sounds like. wait, you guys don't hear... Yeah, you don't hear my rant on The Departed. I still hate that ending. Like, I'll always hate that ending. It makes no sense. Like, you think about that for like five seconds, you're like, wait, that makes no sense. He was scot -free. Why would he do anything about that? He could have just walked away. Everyone who knew about him was dead.

Luciano (31:56.978)
Yeah.

Matt (32:03.806)
Yeah, but the part was cool.

Matt (32:11.654)
that's fair.

Luciano (32:11.899)
the ending. Yeah.

Matthew Ward (32:22.261)
So why did he implicate himself by killing the other guy? It made no sense. It was bad. That's all I'm saying.

Matt (32:26.09)
Look.

Luciano (32:29.383)
Okay.

Matt (32:31.114)
John would like that.

Luciano (32:33.331)
Possibly.

Matt (32:35.176)
So here, I think, are there any other instances of police stupidity that we didn't cover?

Matthew Ward (32:45.664)
off

Luciano (32:48.415)
no, I don't think there are any new ones. I just wanted to kind of highlight again how stupid it is that whoever it was that tried to frame, say, put the fucking bricks of heroin in his office. And how worse still is that every cop was like, it must be him. Of course you would hide this heinous, heinous crime that he was the only one who wanted to investigate.

Matt (32:48.52)
in this movie.

Matt (33:09.653)
Yeah.

Luciano (33:17.319)
by the way because everybody else wanted him to stop because he was getting too close to the Saudi prince. No, no, no, of course. That's why he was investigating so hard because he was involved in it. What? was I was like, what the fuck is going on? I was very, very upset with that scene. I was like. I think that was the point of the movie where I was like, fuck this. Yeah.

Matthew Ward (33:40.435)
Well, like, how -

Matthew Ward (33:44.799)
was the point.

Luciano (33:47.611)
I was giving it a chance. It's John Woo, man. I was giving it a chance.

Matthew Ward (33:51.775)
I mean, there was also the whole like drug bust that she saved him with where he was like, what? They're like, okay, we're going to send you him with a wire. You're going to be on the roof and we are going to be nowhere near you. You're going to be like eight stories down. Like, is that not the most irresponsible thing to do with an officer? It's like, even if he tries to arrest him, he's got no backup, no help, no whatsoever. You're on your own entirely.

Luciano (34:02.724)
yeah!

Matt (34:03.701)
Mm -hmm.

Yeah.

Luciano (34:06.811)
Yeah. Yeah.

Matt (34:20.342)
If I know meeting places, high and out of eyesight is great for the cops.

Matthew Ward (34:24.464)
great.

Luciano (34:25.271)
yeah, especially an undercover cop trying to get someone, know, bust someone doing the crime, right? Cause that's not a very high tension, high risk situation. That's when you want to be alone. No gun, no support, no backup. Yeah.

Matthew Ward (34:33.404)
Yeah.

Matthew Ward (34:40.925)
Yeah, 100%. You don't want help. You gotta YOLO that shit. That's very American, actually.

Luciano (34:46.1)
No, you're off course. Yeah. Yeah, it is

Matt (34:51.83)
American style, I like it.

Luciano (34:53.745)
Yeah, no, I think I think that yeah, and I don't know if you're gonna ask us how to fix this because I don't know if there's a way

Matt (34:59.508)
I'm going to. Well, like, I think it's it's it's a little thing, right? Like if you want to show he's a dirty cop, just like don't put bricks of heroin in his office.

Luciano (35:05.574)
Yeah.

Luciano (35:10.195)
Hide the thing in his house and give an anonymous tip or whatever.

Matthew Ward (35:16.315)
Yeah.

Matt (35:16.416)
Sure, yeah, whatever, that's fine. Hide in his car, who cares?

Luciano (35:19.643)
In this car, yeah, even better. Like as if he was like trying to transport it and bring it to me. Yeah, not in this fucking office. But that's.

Matt (35:24.374)
Sure, yeah.

Matthew Ward (35:25.383)
Although that is pretty cliched too. How many times have you seen that? Like in almost every cop movie they're like pull out a brick of cocaine from the guy's trunk and he's like, look what you did.

Luciano (35:34.663)
But cliche is better than nonsensical.

Matthew Ward (35:40.111)
I guess. mean, just like the Australians breakdancing, I applaud the originality.

Luciano (35:47.943)
Yeah.

Matt (35:48.114)
Ahahahahah

Matt (35:52.66)
Okay, fair enough. No, so I mean, that one I think is very easily solved, right? Of all the things that went on, to me that is the one that is just like five seconds worth of thinking. You could have literally put it anywhere else. Again, it was forced, right? They wanted him to escape and have to slide down the ribbon. Yeah. So, I mean, we can do that one. think, you you just disassociate those criminals from being cops, the ones that went around into the hospital to shoot people.

Matthew Ward (36:09.435)
Yeah.

Luciano (36:09.563)
Yeah, the banner and fall on his ass. Yeah.

Luciano (36:22.673)
Yeah, that solves the

Matt (36:22.934)
I think that's an easier way then to explain why they're... Because you have to make them like fucking... If they're gonna shoot up a hospital like that, you have to make them just like goons, right? And not like assassins.

Matthew Ward (36:33.574)
Yeah.

Luciano (36:33.755)
Yeah. Or, or give them a reason, right? Like, let's say they were, they like, instead of, you know, screwing on the silencer and then shooting the first thing that moved, maybe, maybe it could have been, you know, an orderly or a nurse or something that wasn't letting them go into the, like Jen's room. And then they had to shoot them, you know, like.

Matt (36:54.642)
Yeah, Yeah. Yeah.

Luciano (36:58.385)
Give him a reason, not just go like, haha, gun go boom boom. Like it's not a good enough reason. Gun goes pew pew. Yeah, true, True. Cause it was silenced. You're right. Yeah.

Matt (37:03.274)
Gun -gun don't go boom boom. go pew pew. Yeah.

Matthew Ward (37:03.451)
Listen.

hahahaha

Matt (37:13.418)
What else can we do? Can Say, like, collect any evidence? Like, I don't think you're... You know, is it an action movie you want to kill? Well, no, like, for his innocence at the end of the movie, right?

Matthew Ward (37:20.74)
Did they collect any evidence?

Luciano (37:24.945)
Yeah, maybe don't blow up the whole cocaine. Maybe don't kill everybody.

Matt (37:27.978)
Mm

Matthew Ward (37:28.6)
Yeah, that was kinda... they did do that, eh? They blew up the whole truck with cocaine.

Matt (37:32.044)
Yeah.

Luciano (37:33.724)
Yeah.

Matt (37:34.356)
Wear a wire so like you can record him saying he's the master criminal or something like

Luciano (37:38.157)
Exactly. Actually, that would have been a cool, but that's the thing that would have been a cool callback to that, right? Where he could go like, fuck, I hope it works this time or something like that. Right.

Matthew Ward (37:38.82)
Listen, we've seen his success with wires though.

Matt (37:42.741)
Mm.

Yep. Yep.

Matthew Ward (37:50.018)
or it does fail the second time. It's just like, that's how it gets found out or something.

Luciano (37:53.979)
Yeah, if you want to make it comedic a little bit, yeah. But yeah, like make him, you know, begrudgingly work with Z, not like gleefully go help her shoot up a fucking church, even though it was the consecrated.

Matt (37:57.226)
Mm

Matthew Ward (38:07.278)
Yep.

Matt (38:09.622)
fine. Church deserves it.

Matthew Ward (38:09.742)
Yeah, they don't need to worry about concentration.

Luciano (38:10.641)
Yeah. Another thing that they needed to fix, and I think it would be a nice segue into the next plot hole is maybe if you want to make Z escape the cops, make it seem believable and don't have the cop carry the fucking keys to a handcuff that's being used on his fucking back pocket, like easily reached, come on. But that is not just the cops.

Matt (38:35.092)
Yeah.

Luciano (38:40.765)
fault though. That is our next plot hole.

Matt (38:45.792)
Well, I mean, it's I guess it's not his fault, but he's like, these are working against each other in the sense that like. He heard, well, it's like it's not he's not he's not doing anything. I think that's the thing. He is innocent in this because. The bigger plot hole that powers the movie is the fact that I mean, is it who's he? What's he? Why is he? Where's he? How's he? When's he? Yeah, why is he? Thank you.

Matthew Ward (38:47.159)
Foreshadowing.

Luciano (38:53.754)
Yeah.

Luciano (39:09.511)
Yeah. Yeah. Y Y Z. Yeah.

Matthew Ward (39:11.905)
Yeah

Matt (39:15.124)
Because she, I don't know, she's just bad assassin. She's not good at her job. She's labeled as the queen of the dead, the person who's been killing all of the crime lords in the city that weren't Gobert. And like, no one can trace her, no one knows. And then immediately they got pictures of her face going in and out of the club from the night when she killed the Coco and the gang.

Luciano (39:21.763)
Yeah, she's just horrible at her job.

Matthew Ward (39:23.499)
I'm

Luciano (39:29.305)
Yeah, yeah, exactly.

Matthew Ward (39:37.633)
Yeah.

Luciano (39:39.613)
And she goes to the same fucking whatever like coffee shop or whatever to buy food and buys more like more than enough for than like more than enough for one person and

Matthew Ward (39:45.887)
Yeah, but she's

Matthew Ward (39:52.233)
and an entire wardrobe full of terrible, terrible wigs. Like none of them suited her. Every single one, you're like, you're wearing a hair piece.

Luciano (39:57.905)
But not even she had she she had one wig on and he did such a shitty job that say immediately recognizes her is like, you sounds you sound British now. That should have been a scene for her to go. shit, you recognize me. I failed so badly at my job.

Matthew Ward (40:11.198)
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Matt (40:12.272)
Yeah.

Matthew Ward (40:16.48)
Yeah.

Matthew Ward (40:22.358)
She should have just gotten out about it. He's like, are you wearing a hair piece? She's like, I have cancer. I'm so sorry. And I would have just been like.

Luciano (40:23.985)
Yeah.

Matt (40:28.166)
So that

Luciano (40:30.788)
that was very dark.

Matt (40:33.194)
This is a whole make a wish kind of thing.

Matthew Ward (40:33.246)
You know? Yeah, yeah.

Luciano (40:36.359)
It's like, shh, nobody tell her she's bad. It's a Minkowicz thing. Jesus Christ.

Matthew Ward (40:39.19)
Ha ha!

Matt (40:39.359)
Yeah.

That'd make more sense.

Matthew Ward (40:42.698)
Some make -a -wish assassin. I really want to be an assassin. That's what I want to be. And bird trainer.

Matt (40:47.99)
Yeah, right

Luciano (40:50.119)
Like, another one? Fuck. Yeah.

Matt (40:56.182)
Well, I mean, like, that goes part and parcel with the cops because it's just like we can't find her and all of a sudden it's like the one job she does, they have pictures of her everywhere. So like, I don't know if it's the cops for not finding pictures sooner or if it's her fault for like leaving one. it's like, just, it's one of those things where it's like, want, if you're gonna tell me the story that this person is the best assassin, just make it seem like they're trying to do their job good. Not that.

Luciano (41:08.68)
Well...

Matthew Ward (41:20.201)
Mm

Matthew Ward (41:24.469)
Yeah.

Matt (41:25.748)
They literally don't care if someone sees their face.

Luciano (41:28.785)
Yeah, like John Wick this shit, right? You don't have to be like, you don't have to put someone who's like a martial artist specialist or whatever to do this, but make me believe that she knows what she or he or whoever knows what they're doing. Like I think one emblematic scene is when she's talking to her Taylor friend.

Matthew Ward (41:37.994)
No.

Luciano (41:51.899)
Right. And she's like, I took care of the problem. And it's this massive fucking guy with like broccoli's for years. And she fucking ruins him. And all throughout the scene, she's punching and kicking. And I'm like, he's not even feeling. And Natalie Emanuel could have been actually punching the guy and he would not have felt it. And I'm supposed to believe she downed the guy like.

Matt (41:58.823)
Yeah.

Matthew Ward (42:01.394)
Yeah.

Matthew Ward (42:17.042)
It just.

Luciano (42:20.775)
without him throwing a single punch, without him trying to... nothing.

Matthew Ward (42:24.435)
I know what mean. It felt like every time I watch a Tom Cruise movie, I'm like, he's 4 '5". That's like Papa Smurf trying to knock you out. It's just not happening. And he's doing all these backflips and stuff and I'm like, I don't care how much ballet you know. You are not hurting this man, Tom Cruise.

Luciano (42:33.171)
Hahaha!

Luciano (42:38.535)
Yeah, but like. But here's the thing, if you watch, if you watch a similar scene on a bathroom on Rogue Nation, the one with Henry Cavill, I think that's Rogue Nation, right? And like, I believe that fight.

Matthew Ward (42:44.988)
Mm

Matt (42:52.654)
yeah.

Matthew Ward (42:53.543)
I don't recall a scene with... I mean, maybe there was... I believe there was probably some sort of...

Matt (42:57.524)
No, you're talking about. No, it's. It's Philip Seymour Hoffman is the bathroom scene.

Luciano (42:57.629)
Tom or is it ghost protocol ghost protocol.

Luciano (43:04.869)
No, it's Tom Cruise, Harry Cavill and the other dude.

Matthew Ward (43:11.056)
That just sounds like Tom Cruise surprising people in the bathroom, like men in the bathroom, which I'm pretty sure he's known for. But...

Luciano (43:14.737)
That's true, but they break the entire fucking bathroom fighting. And like, yes. Yeah, like the one that Harry Cavill cocks the biceps, you know, the one that became a meme. And like, I believe that fight, like just make it believable.

Matthew Ward (43:21.182)
wait, I do know the scene you're talking about. Yeah, yeah, I know what you're talking about.

Matthew Ward (43:29.315)
Right, right, right.

Matt (43:34.11)
Yeah, another one we watched, Monkey Man, Dev Patel fights the chief and they fucking...

Luciano (43:39.352)
Yes. Yeah. Well, that scene goes both ways, right? But yeah.

Matt (43:46.336)
Sure, that's a good part. That's why his character, that's a great example. That's why his character is so much more believable is he gets a shit beat out of him a lot, right? Like he's still trying to figure it out and learn it. And so he's trying to figure it out and learn it. like his power, the thing that he has is he just can get up from taking a beating. And here we're sold, yeah, we're sold this character is, yeah, it's like someone who has the right, like is the best person to do this job, has the killer instinct.

Matthew Ward (43:53.168)
Yeah, right?

Luciano (43:53.275)
Yeah, yes he does. He does, yes.

Luciano (44:01.639)
Yeah, he's rocky.

Luciano (44:06.277)
A master assassin, right?

Matt (44:15.114)
And I don't see any of that ever. Like don't know if I don't see the killer instinct or if like, I guess I don't say she's a master assassin per se, but when you say you have a killer instinct and you're the best I have, it sets that precedent.

Luciano (44:25.351)
Well, I mean, she has the reputation of being like the guy, the French cop with the most Portuguese name of all time, Alves. I was like, why is his name? Why is why is he named after like a Portuguese like grocery shop owner? I don't know. But like he says, she's so skilled. She's so elusive that no one has seen her. Right. And then immediately they show all over. We found her. Like, what the fuck?

Matthew Ward (44:25.699)
That precedent, right? Yeah.

Matthew Ward (44:34.288)
That's right.

Matt (44:35.158)
You

Matt (44:42.752)
because

Matthew Ward (44:53.485)
wait, yeah, we found her because we looked this time. I guess that was the main problem there is the active action of looking was where they were not achieving their goals. They didn't know how to use the internet.

Luciano (44:58.073)
Yeah, this time. Yeah.

Luciano (45:04.805)
Yeah, that was the problem. Yeah. It wasn't that she was elusive. Yeah. So like the same thing with that scene where she is driving the bike and trying to go to, to beat the, two cops to the hospital. And she drives up to the side of the car. The guy looks her in the face for like a couple of seconds as if he didn't hadn't just seen her with Finn, like two minutes ago, she punches him in the face.

Matt (45:18.966)
So that's what I'll do.

Luciano (45:34.087)
throat punches him, turns his steering wheel and he not only does not try to steer it back, he continues pressing the gas until he flies over a truck and crashes and then they both fall out of the car going, ooh, what happened? What happened? You're shit at your job. That's what happened. Like.

Matthew Ward (45:46.841)
Mm

Matt (45:57.662)
Yeah.

Matthew Ward (45:58.019)
Or just bad at driving. There is that too. Yeah!

Matt (46:00.65)
So, voila both.

Luciano (46:02.159)
Yeah, per canola's does. Yeah, like.

Matthew Ward (46:05.177)
The drive's like Conor McGregor. There's too many of those, like, pineapple drinks. I would have made that scene. Just a whole lot of tiny coconuts come flying out with them. I would have thought that would have been great. Jesus, Conor McGregor should have been in this movie. Like, just really.

Luciano (46:08.755)
Too many coconuts inside the car.

Matt (46:09.59)
It's true.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Luciano (46:19.602)
Yeah.

Matt (46:25.342)
We're going to get there. Don't don't get ahead of yourself. we talked about it a bit, but I think there are some areas where I don't think she's badly cast for the role. I just think that how they utilize her in the role is the problem. Right. So you could like like, you know, I think Matt brought it up in the free planning. Like the samurai sword is a great idea. And that is a very believable.

Luciano (46:25.394)
Yeah.

Luciano (46:30.812)
You

Matthew Ward (46:39.19)
No.

Luciano (46:43.228)
Yeah.

Matthew Ward (46:51.564)
Yeah!

Matt (46:53.014)
thing for her to have in order to beat the shit out of them and kill people. Does it make sense that she took 20 minutes to put it together while the other guy watched her? No, but...

Luciano (47:03.835)
She had to do a contortionist dance and we had to pretend that no... No, it wasn't sexy. She tried to make it sexy, but...

Matthew Ward (47:06.807)
the sexy dance, which...

Matt (47:06.944)
It's fine. Yeah.

It's hard to have a sexy dance when you have to pull a sword out of your fucking back.

Matthew Ward (47:12.949)
It just -

Luciano (47:16.615)
Back, yeah.

Matthew Ward (47:17.173)
It looked like literally what would happen if she couldn't get her bra strap off. Like, you know what I mean? Like, you know, get in the mood. She's dancing around, but she just can't make it work.

Luciano (47:23.845)
Yeah. Or if she had an itch, she has an itch spot right in middle of her back and tried to reach it. Yeah. the worst part is she's, well, yeah, we've established that.

Matt (47:24.011)
Yeah.

Matthew Ward (47:31.891)
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's the vibe I was getting from that dance. I mean, it still did it for me.

Matt (47:41.043)
Obviously.

Matthew Ward (47:42.173)
and Charlie Cox who was sitting in the background giggling. I don't know if anyone caught that but there was like dollar store Charlie Cox in there. And I want to know what the hell Daredevil was looking at. I mean, let's be honest. I'll let you sit on that one.

Luciano (47:46.963)
he was?

Luciano (47:51.88)
I can't

I can tell you one person who didn't see him. I'll tell you who didn't see him. Jeff Healy didn't.

Matt (47:57.409)
Ask Jeff Healy.

Matthew Ward (48:02.399)
That's right. That is right. You know what else Jeff Seely didn't have to say? That horrible singing. That horrible singing. He would have been like, I want to be deaf too. Like, please just crouch out my ears if I had to listen to this poor woman.

Matt (48:02.795)
So yeah, yeah, ask Jeff Healy. Jeff, what now?

Luciano (48:08.007)
What, this movie?

Luciano (48:16.827)
I have no idea why are you banging on this so hard it wasn't that bad. It wasn't great but it wasn't that bad.

Matthew Ward (48:23.091)
It was awful. You know what's gonna happen? Our listener, our one listener is gonna go back and watch this and be like, yeah, that was the worst thing I've ever heard in my life. And then they're gonna leave us and we're never gonna have a video base.

Luciano (48:25.863)
But then, but then...

Luciano (48:32.569)
No, it was not. But anyway, the worst part about the the fucking bra strap dance scene to me was that, OK, now we should probably wait because Matt just fell off the face of the earth. Yeah.

Matthew Ward (48:42.538)
Mm -hmm.

Matthew Ward (48:47.246)
and he just get booted? Hmm.

Matt (48:51.958)
Ahem.

Luciano (48:53.04)
I was gonna, I tried to keep on going to see if it was gonna come back, but.

Matthew Ward (48:57.202)
He just was like, he's done. He's like, I can't listen to this anymore. I love that singer.

Luciano (49:00.122)
Yep.

Luciano (49:05.083)
Hahaha!

Matthew Ward (49:07.835)
My rabbit is literally on so much like on his guard right now because he knows I took one look at that like rabbits aren't stupid animals No animals are dumb. He saw me look at that claw. He took one look at me was like don't you fucking dare? I was like I'm gonna cut that

Luciano (49:20.755)
fuck, fuck you motherfucker, you leave my claw loom.

Matthew Ward (49:25.573)
Exactly. It's literally like having one of the Raptors from Jurassic Park in your house. you're telling me it's a hard floor, it's just a one -clicking noise? I feel like that, like, British guy who's just like, ooh, clever girl.

Luciano (49:40.883)
Ha

Matthew Ward (49:42.035)
can fuck me up in the middle of the night.

Luciano (49:46.449)
Wait, Clever Girl is Sam Neill? Is he British?

Matthew Ward (49:49.627)
No, no, no, wasn't that that scene with the, what's his name? The dude who was like looking after the raptor cages and he's like, we're being hunted. And Lauren Dern's like, what? You remember that scene? And then he looks and he's like, it's all right. And then he goes to shoot and then, no, that's not Samuel. He goes to shoot and then the raptor pops out beside him and he's like, clever girl. And then she just jumps on him and rips him to pieces.

Luciano (50:01.019)
Yeah, it's Sam Neal.

Luciano (50:15.493)
Really? I could have sworn it was Sam Neal.

Matthew Ward (50:16.307)
Yeah!

No, no.

That was like, that was an iconic scene.

Luciano (50:27.304)
yeah, yeah, now that I see the guy, see the meme. Yeah, yeah, Clever girl.

Matthew Ward (50:32.293)
Like everyone remembers the Tyrannosaurus in that movie, but those raptors were badass, man. Those were the real monsters.

Luciano (50:38.863)
they were much more badass than the... yeah. Are you okay? Did you fall on your face?

Matt (50:45.981)
Yeah, my internet drops for a couple of minutes. What do you have as a time for me coming back?

Luciano (50:54.771)
5055, 5056.

Matt (50:59.841)
51 for the sake of her. Where do we...

Luciano (51:01.339)
Yeah. So I'll pick up from what I was saying. You can probably splice it. OK, so.

Luciano (51:17.031)
But the worst thing about the bra strap dancing for me was that she was surrounded by people. It wasn't like she was with her back to a wall or something and she was like reaching for the fucking sword. She was putting that fucking sword while dancing around the room with the guy and everybody was looking and they were like, that's perfectly normal. Like, the what the fuck?

Matthew Ward (51:35.269)
Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Matt (51:41.333)
That's how the boss likes to get down.

Matthew Ward (51:43.28)
Maybe they thought she was taking her, maybe they thought she was gonna show them her boobs. I mean, let me put it to this way. If someone, there's even a chance boobs could come out in a scene like that, and if you're in that scene, you're not paying attention to anything else. Yeah. yeah. And let me be honest, it doesn't matter whose boobs, it could have been his boobs that came out, and we'd all be just as entranced. Yeah, we'd be like, all right. Exactly.

Luciano (51:43.345)
Hahaha

Luciano (51:47.571)
they got distracted. Okay.

Matt (51:57.259)
Yeah.

Luciano (51:58.023)
Well, no, you're taking your chances for sure. Yeah.

Matt (52:00.191)
You're also probably high on coke or heroin. Yeah.

Luciano (52:03.047)
heroin in this case.

Matt (52:08.021)
That's okay too. Equal opportunity boobs, you know?

Matthew Ward (52:12.323)
I bet they would also have, bet his chest hair was also like dyed blonde. But like badly, like the roots of his chest hair was like dark. Yeah, just the tips. Frosted tips all across the chest.

Luciano (52:12.349)
There you go. There you go.

Luciano (52:18.347)
Well, yeah.

Matt (52:20.405)
Just the tips.

Luciano (52:22.656)
frosted tips, frosted tips.

Matt (52:24.48)
Yeah.

That's right, that's how the real kings roll.

Matthew Ward (52:29.285)
I still love that scene.

Luciano (52:29.971)
Hahaha

French Yeah.

Matt (52:34.613)
right

Matt (52:38.121)
Okay. mean, you're wrong, but so have we, how do we fix this? How do we fix this?

Luciano (52:44.093)
How do we fix this? Yeah. That one is harder because even like, there's something that you pointed out when we were talking about this in the pre -show, Matt, but like when she fights Juliette, I think is her name, the blonde woman, who's a stunt woman, right? Like you can clearly see like one of them knows what they're doing.

Matt (52:59.867)
Yeah, at the end, yeah. Yeah.

Matthew Ward (53:05.272)
And that shows, yeah.

Matthew Ward (53:09.529)
Yeah, you believe that woman could do the stuff she was doing. Like, I'm watching that being like, yeah, this woman would hurt you.

Matt (53:10.24)
Yes.

Luciano (53:16.261)
Yeah, and I was like, how are they going to make it believable that that Z is going to win this fight when all she can do is jump face first into the ground shooting?

Matthew Ward (53:26.209)
Well, it's one of those funny things too, because like, and this is like one of the things that I think they fail at when they're trying to do like the female hero is that they try, they have this myth of like the male hero that they put onto the female hero. And the myth is that the male hero is indestructible. And realistically, if you actually look back at like some of the most classic hero movies, the male is not indestructible. He...

Luciano (53:47.708)
Right.

Luciano (53:55.584)
John McLean! John McLean!

Matthew Ward (53:55.607)
gets his ass John McClane, Indiana Jones even, like John Wick, like these guys get decimated.

Luciano (53:59.635)
yeah yeah yeah john wick john wick roll down a flight of stairs for like 17 minutes in that movie

Matt (54:02.517)
John Wick to pick a modern one.

Matt (54:10.818)
Yeah.

Matthew Ward (54:10.889)
Yeah, like they get fucked up. So you get this sense of like, okay, this is intense. There's some stakes here. And that's what I mean. Ultimately, you need that you need her to look more vulnerable and to find other ways than just a brute force it. Like you got guns, you've got finesse, use your speed, that kind of thing, right? Like make me realize, okay, this is how you're gonna do it.

Luciano (54:18.472)
Yeah.

Luciano (54:26.301)
Well.

Luciano (54:32.667)
Well, mean, either you do that where she like she gets she wins through grit and determination and skill, right? Or you have to show me throughout the movie that she is so goddamn skilled that nobody's going to touch her. Because even if you think about like even like Jet Li movies, who's an actual like bona fide martial artist, right?

Matthew Ward (54:42.603)
Or grit, yeah, yeah.

Matthew Ward (54:53.037)
Yeah.

Matthew Ward (55:01.73)
Yeah.

Luciano (55:01.839)
Even he gets fucked up in most of his movies, I would say. Right? Not entirely. Right?

Matthew Ward (55:05.471)
Yeah, and you're right. That's a great comparison because he oftentimes fights dudes like boxers and stuff like that. And he gets manhandled in those fights. And he has to like really power through kind of thing, you know?

Luciano (55:12.381)
Yeah.

yeah.

Luciano (55:19.263)
Even Donnie Yen as Ipman gets, you know, let's not talk about the time he fights Mike Tyson because that was ridiculous, but like, but like in the other movies. No, it's not. It's horrible. Watch it again. I watched it recently. It's horrible. It's horrible. But anyway, even like people who are like the movie is about a martial arts like

Matt (55:27.265)
That's not ridiculous at all. That's genius.

Matthew Ward (55:28.116)
That was epic, I gotta say.

Yep. I'm gonna kick your ass.

Luciano (55:46.705)
genius and master and even they get like manhandled and she's like, I've never been shot. Like, come on. Even when you were learning, even when you were, you know what I mean? Like it doesn't make any sense.

Matthew Ward (55:56.916)
Yeah.

Matt (55:57.159)
If it's true that she was never shot, then I mean she never participated in hand -handed combat, which is okay, but then don't consistently do that, right? Like she clearly is better at sniping people based on what they show us and her backstory. But why does she, like she got killed right in that room? Okay, I understand why she's gotta go in that room that one time. But then they show us the big guy in the washroom and she's like, okay, I guess she's.

Luciano (56:03.513)
Exactly. But then don't show it to me after.

Yeah.

Matthew Ward (56:14.73)
Yeah.

Luciano (56:16.391)
Yeah.

Matt (56:26.977)
fuck that guy up even though okay and then

Luciano (56:28.689)
Yeah. And then she gets the beat on the cops, the crooked cops and then on the actual cops. And then she fights Finn. And then she fights Juliet. Like, yeah. It's kind of like, don't believe she could have gotten the better of one of those fights, let alone all of them.

Matthew Ward (56:29.439)
Yeah.

Matt (56:34.685)
Yeah. And then she beats up stunt woman. Yeah. And in fact, yeah.

So.

Matthew Ward (56:49.032)
Yeah. Or at least felt like she could lose those fights.

Matt (56:49.363)
Right. Not without some tricks. Yeah.

Luciano (56:53.947)
Yeah. Like I thought it was really clever. The, when, when, you know, we see one of the twists where, you know, Jack's, Jack's is the crooked cop, blah, blah, blah. And she does the decoy thing. That was actually like, why didn't she do most of her like work with like whip, like, what do how you say it? being wily rather than just being head on, right? Set up some traps in that fucking like home alone, that fucking church.

Matt (57:06.911)
That's fine. Yep.

Matthew Ward (57:15.773)
Yeah.

Matthew Ward (57:22.91)
Ha!

Luciano (57:23.89)
Right?

Matt (57:24.095)
Yeah, yeah, you're right. Like it's her special place, right? It's her like hideout. That's her home away from home and she has nothing set up to actually take down. use the birds. That would that could have been really good. I think that's that's I mean, I think that's that's part of the mist. The misnature of this is that they just didn't sell you on the idea. And I don't know why.

Luciano (57:27.741)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Matthew Ward (57:31.036)
Yeah, use the birds.

Luciano (57:34.065)
Yeah, exactly. That should have been cool.

Luciano (57:49.971)
Yeah. And I think, I think they wanted it to be this like slick sort of like Ministry of Ungentlemanly Affair, Affair. And there's not everything is everybody's the coolest and the best and blah, blah, blah. And, and then when she gets finally gets shot, which is again, Finn had like 15 minutes to aim and he shot her in the shoulder. Come on. Right. It's again, going back to other mats.

Matt (58:00.671)
Mm

Luciano (58:19.443)
point of like, show me, show me that she's actually struggling, not like it's a little bit difficult.

Matt (58:24.022)
Yeah.

Matthew Ward (58:25.212)
Yeah, like, give me a chance, like, make it seem like there's a challenge here. Just gotta get some battle damage.

Luciano (58:29.212)
Yeah.

Matt (58:32.989)
She didn't look like she was shot at all after she was shot.

Luciano (58:35.537)
No, it was just so that the tailor could sew her back on.

Matt (58:38.879)
And was also like, where are you sewing her? That appears to be a very dangerous place to be shot.

Matthew Ward (58:40.827)
Yeah.

Luciano (58:41.341)
That was, yeah. And also she was like, don't, I don't want a scar. I'm like, girl, yeah, there's going to be a couple of scars there.

Matthew Ward (58:43.515)
Ha

Matthew Ward (58:52.924)
I mean.

Matt (58:53.301)
You can't just go to a tailor and stitch up a bullet hole and be fine, right?

Luciano (58:56.915)
Yeah, just like you can't go to a surgeon and say, hey, know, mend my jacket. Like it's not the same skill set.

Matthew Ward (58:58.309)
No.

Matthew Ward (59:07.846)
Yes, skin and leather is not the same, I don't think. Maybe it is. I don't know.

Matt (59:08.619)
It's fine, I went straight through.

Luciano (59:12.403)
No.

Matt (59:12.821)
Hmm. Could be. be. All right. This is unsavable. No big deal. We're going to move on. We're going ask some fun questions. No big deal.

Luciano (59:15.4)
Yeah.

Luciano (59:21.526)
Hahaha!

Matt (59:24.757)
Let's keep it simple. The Prince. I don't think we've talked about him yet. The Prince is a Saudi prince that imports drugs for Gobert, Eric Antonis'

Luciano (59:35.335)
You know, every time you say go -bear, sounds like you're saying Colbert, like, Stephen Colbert, Stephen Colbert, yeah.

Matthew Ward (59:38.746)
Yeah, I sound like it's like Stephen Colbert. Selling drugs. I mean, that's who he is now in my mind.

Matt (59:39.39)
yeah.

Yeah, Stephen Colbert. Yeah. So Stephen Colbert selling drugs. Mm That's fair.

Luciano (59:47.229)
Yeah.

Matt (59:50.121)
And so the prince imports these drugs and then his plane gets robbed and he's in Paris while they investigate what happened to his plane. And then he just disappears because he's no longer important to the plot. But he's important to us. And so I want to know what happened to the prince.

Luciano (59:56.956)
Right.

Luciano (01:00:05.137)
Hahaha

Matthew Ward (01:00:12.589)
I want to say that he realized the error of his ways and decided to reform. He also realized that he's French and thus decided that this makes no sense and went back to living his life in a chateau somewhere in France and mended his ways.

Luciano (01:00:13.138)
He - he -

Matt (01:00:17.055)
Okay.

Matt (01:00:30.911)
He's a Saudi prince and French. He's both.

Matthew Ward (01:00:34.637)
But he sounds very French.

Luciano (01:00:36.428)
Well, he fought with his dad,

Matt (01:00:41.217)
True, yeah, because Dad wouldn't give him the money for the drugs.

Luciano (01:00:43.087)
Yeah, so maybe what happened was... mean... Eric Cantona stabs his bodyguard with a fork and then we never see him after that scene. I think he took over. Realizing, to Matt's point, realizing he is French, he's like, Finn can take over because he's Irish or Australian or both.

Matthew Ward (01:00:46.637)
We have all been there.

Matt (01:00:49.727)
Ha ha ha ha

Matthew Ward (01:00:55.586)
Right.

Matt (01:00:57.056)
Yep.

Matt (01:01:09.671)
Right. Yep.

Luciano (01:01:11.111)
But I can, I'm French. So he decides to be the next Gobert. That's what he did. Yeah, they look pretty similar, right? Nobody's gonna notice. All that he has to do is go play some soccer a little bit. Like, yeah, that guy is that guy. There you go. That's what he did. He took over.

Matt (01:01:17.085)
Okay, yeah that makes sense.

Hmm. the French looks the same.

Matt (01:01:28.009)
Yeah, it's fair. Okay. Matt, do you have any other thoughts? Rebuttals? Rebukes?

Matthew Ward (01:01:41.047)
feel.

Like he found love. I feel like he found love. But I'm not sure with who.

Luciano (01:01:44.652)
This is taking too long. I found love?

Matt (01:01:48.641)
Mm

Matthew Ward (01:01:51.871)
I want to Sam Worthing.

Matt (01:01:52.991)
Okay.

Matt (01:01:57.729)
What about, well, he's dead, so there's gonna be a problem there.

Luciano (01:01:57.789)
Finn? Yeah, he's mourning then.

Matthew Ward (01:02:00.287)
Yeah, so that's the sequel because he's going to seek revenge.

Matt (01:02:04.565)
I was gonna say he could fall in love with Tessier. The tailor.

Matthew Ward (01:02:07.159)
true. This true.

Luciano (01:02:09.687)
he didn't he didn't slap him around. There you go.

Matthew Ward (01:02:12.183)
That's true. Tessie's the partner, right? No, wait, who is the partner that got shot and then handled and then manhandled, absolutely manhandled by the hospital? Like they just leave him there and then he's screaming in pain as they just throw him onto the thing. absolutely manhandled. Classic scene.

Luciano (01:02:19.183)
Jax Jax I was gonna say Jax. think he felt

Luciano (01:02:27.936)
Ha

Yeah, I forgot about that scene. Like, I like the scene with like, say being like, you're not gonna talk, huh? I'm just gonna drive like an idiot then. See how you like it. Okay, you told me now dumps him on the street. Three, three hits of the horn fucks off. Yeah.

Matthew Ward (01:02:42.198)
Yeah

Matthew Ward (01:02:46.259)
Yeah, it just does a move.

You know? Classic.

Matt (01:02:54.911)
Yeah, okay. No, I think that answers everything I had around that one. Hey, this movie is in Paris. And you know it is because, hey, you see the Eiffel Tower all the time. And I think that a movie that is in France should have an all French cast. So listen, some of these people are already French, right? Say, already French. Sorry, no.

Luciano (01:03:03.429)
Allegedly.

Yeah.

Luciano (01:03:14.963)
la la!

Yes.

Matthew Ward (01:03:19.765)
Like the Saudi Prince.

Luciano (01:03:22.161)
Decided Prince.

Matt (01:03:23.731)
Yeah, Saudi Prince, Saginaw -Irish, French, Gobert, Eric Cantona. He's French? Yeah. So, and all the big parts are basically French people. Gregory, Montalas, Jacks. But we need to, we... Yeah. The Inspector General is Fabrice Scott, which is maybe he's French, maybe he's English, no one knows.

Luciano (01:03:28.411)
Yeah, very French.

Luciano (01:03:36.636)
Right.

Yeah, Alves is Guillaume something.

Luciano (01:03:47.003)
Scott? He's from Normandy.

Matt (01:03:52.299)
We're not going to get into them. Let's just, I mean, we to recast Finn, Z, Jen.

Luciano (01:03:58.941)
Okay, so I have a very important question. Does Finn still need to be Irish?

Matt (01:04:05.811)
No, well, it's Frank. Well, yes. Yes. Yeah, no, it's fair.

Luciano (01:04:08.155)
See? Okay, that's what I wanted to know. So it has to be exactly...

Matthew Ward (01:04:10.921)
French guy pretending to be Irish?

Matt (01:04:14.062)
Yes, that's what we're going for. Those are the, it's hard out here at these streets, but you gotta stretch yourself.

Matthew Ward (01:04:15.666)
Okay.

Luciano (01:04:19.803)
Yeah, so I think the only choice, the only choice to play Irish Finn as a Frenchman is Jean Reno. No other choice because he doesn't look Irish at all. Jean Reno does not, just does not look French or Irish at all. He's just the most French looking person ever. So I'm casting Jean Reno.

Matt (01:04:33.002)
Okay.

Matthew Ward (01:04:33.577)
Is who?

Matt (01:04:37.024)
John right now.

Matthew Ward (01:04:37.651)
Sean Renau.

Luciano (01:04:49.219)
as Finn.

Matthew Ward (01:04:53.311)
Bye.

Matt (01:04:54.023)
I'll allow it. Matt, are you on board?

Matthew Ward (01:04:56.753)
I am definitely on board with that. I like the Sean Renau. I think that gives him more of a role than I would have given him, because I was going to cast him as a Go -Bear. But are we keeping Go -Bear because he's already French? Yeah.

Luciano (01:05:05.573)
No, Gilbert's already French. Yeah, yeah.

Matt (01:05:08.555)
Sorry, French, don't worry about it.

Matthew Ward (01:05:10.141)
Alright.

Luciano (01:05:14.929)
You hate Jen singing so much. Come on.

Matthew Ward (01:05:17.275)
Yeah, Leelah Sidhu? Lea Sidhu? Sidhu? I can never pronounce her name right. Who cares? Like, she can sing better than that! That's all I can say! You could talk your way into a better song than that!

Luciano (01:05:22.771)
Can she sing?

Luciano (01:05:26.803)
my god. That's I brought that on myself. I have no one else. I have no I have no one else to blame but me. Leah see do. Okay. Okay. Right.

Matthew Ward (01:05:35.143)
Yes you did, she's awful.

Matt (01:05:35.647)
You did. You really fucked that one up.

Matthew Ward (01:05:40.519)
Gusting singer. Lea Sidoux, that's it. She's gotta be in this, for sure. Eva Green. She'll have her in there somewhere. She could be one of the fighters. She sounds British too, so she kinda could bridge both. I mean, she could play the main character, Zee. Cause she's got, she technically sounds British, but she's born in France, I think.

Luciano (01:05:52.535)
Eh.

Luciano (01:06:08.933)
I don't think she's French enough.

Matt (01:06:12.299)
What about Leah Sedu?

Luciano (01:06:15.571)
She's already Jen, you paying? you, are you, did you listen to this podcast?

Matthew Ward (01:06:16.391)
We have her as the singer, the blind singer.

Who apparently in the better movie was the whole main point of the plot that just gets lost in this whatever.

Matt (01:06:21.45)
now.

Matt (01:06:28.799)
Yeah, listen.

Luciano (01:06:30.087)
How about Marion Cotillard for Z?

Matt (01:06:34.241)
I mean, other than she's what, 50?

Matthew Ward (01:06:37.688)
Still, I could still see her being able to seduce a cop.

Luciano (01:06:37.875)
She is? She's not. What?

Matt (01:06:40.519)
Let me see

Matt (01:06:45.313)
I mean she's not 50 but...

Luciano (01:06:51.251)
She is... well... yeah, she's gonna be 50 next year. Holy shit. my god. Alright, never mind. I don't know... I don't know... I don't know young French actresses, I guess.

Matt (01:06:56.368)
Yeah, that's what I'm getting at.

Matthew Ward (01:07:00.804)
Listen, alright? I don't think that's bad.

Matt (01:07:10.475)
See what we got here.

Matt (01:07:15.133)
Ava Green, Leah Sidhu.

Luciano (01:07:17.459)
She's probably, Eva Green's probably also 50 or close.

Matthew Ward (01:07:20.292)
Yeah, she is, but still.

Matt (01:07:21.023)
Yeah, it's not looking great for her.

Luciano (01:07:27.731)
Least You Do is going to be 40 next year. Yeah, yeah.

Matthew Ward (01:07:30.0)
40 almost.

Matt (01:07:34.145)
Okay, that's not bad, that's workable.

Luciano (01:07:35.323)
Yeah, that's working.

Matt (01:07:37.675)
Hmm.

Luciano (01:07:38.627)
Mm -hmm. I know, Brigitte Bardot. Young.

Matt (01:07:41.248)
Well...

Jesus. Emma Watson comes up on this list. Yeah, she is born in Paris.

Matthew Ward (01:07:48.016)
She's French?

Luciano (01:07:48.047)
Emma Watson. What?

Matthew Ward (01:07:52.142)
Yeah, so.

Luciano (01:07:52.676)
I mean, ever, if ever, okay, that's, that's actually good for not for Z, but for Jen, maybe.

Matthew Ward (01:08:00.052)
one of the

I was going to say like one of the martial artist girls, I guess. I would love to see a Hermione Granger just like drop kicking people or whipping around one of those incense balls in a Catholic church.

Luciano (01:08:04.714)
yeah.

Matt (01:08:06.58)
Eh.

Matt (01:08:15.829)
Yeah. Well, need a French person doing a language action. That's what we're asking for.

Matthew Ward (01:08:20.223)
I also like that I just insinuated it'd be fun to watch Hermione Granger slap, like, whipping balls. I think that'd be good.

Luciano (01:08:20.988)
I guess.

Luciano (01:08:26.937)
Yeah, yeah, we we got that you didn't have to you know, the best jokes the best jokes are the ones you explain

Matt (01:08:29.043)
We heard you, we're just not engaging.

Matthew Ward (01:08:32.684)
Yeah, no, I just want everyone to really get an image of Hermione Granger throwing balls around. Like, just want that to be here.

Matt (01:08:33.152)
Yeah.

Luciano (01:08:39.826)
That's right.

Matt (01:08:39.969)
Okay, great. Thank you. I think we know, I think we've nailed that. think we're being a little picky about, you know, the, well, I mean, listen, there, there are some, I don't think he's, he counts as being French anymore. think they kicked him out of the country if I'm very technical because of tax evasion. He doesn't want to pay French taxes. So he lives. Yeah.

Matthew Ward (01:08:45.95)
We didn't put Gerard Depardieu in anything. He's gotta be in this.

Luciano (01:08:46.589)
Yeah.

Matthew Ward (01:08:56.674)
Wait, did he do something bad? Did he do something bad? Did he -

Luciano (01:09:00.359)
Yeah. He doesn't want to pre - is that it? No, I don't give a shit about taxes.

Matthew Ward (01:09:04.923)
Okay, I thought maybe he like touched somebody or something inappropriate Lee or something Seems to be the way

Matt (01:09:09.159)
maybe also did that too. I don't know. Let's see here. Listen, nothing is better than looking at reading things where you're doing a podcast. I'll find out about Gerard de Perdue. We're going to move on to our next question. So you guys can think about that instead. That church was deconsecrated. Why?

Luciano (01:09:17.514)
yeah.

Luciano (01:09:21.029)
Okay.

Matthew Ward (01:09:25.815)
Mm

Luciano (01:09:26.341)
Mm -hmm. All right, I think Matt just said it. Hermione Granger was whipping balls in there.

Matthew Ward (01:09:33.036)
Or at least the priests were.

Matt (01:09:33.363)
think that's that's fine. Wow.

Luciano (01:09:35.955)
Hey, that never caused the church to be deconsecrated. Let's be honest. If that were the case, if that were the case, there would be no consecrated churches left.

Matt (01:09:39.091)
Not cool, Catholic Church.

Matthew Ward (01:09:41.579)
Yeah, no, not cool.

Matthew Ward (01:09:47.213)
It's It's absolutely true.

Matt (01:09:50.145)
You have any other ideas just in case.

Matthew Ward (01:09:52.876)
Just not touching, not touchy versions.

Luciano (01:09:57.881)
I see. Why was it the consecrated? Hmm. I don't know. Too much, too much bird shit in there. don't know. A lesbian wedding?

Matt (01:09:57.995)
Yeah.

Matthew Ward (01:10:01.61)
A lesbian wedding.

Matthew Ward (01:10:05.987)
Lesbian wedding, definitely.

Matt (01:10:08.923)
Lesbian wedding and too much bird shit. Those are your two answers.

Matthew Ward (01:10:11.166)
Yes.

Luciano (01:10:11.697)
Yeah, I don't know, man. I know what happened. This is in Friends, right? They realized that when they were doing some construction work in the basement and they found this tar that

Matt (01:10:24.289)
Yeah, it's Paris. I don't know if you watched this movie, Spencer.

Luciano (01:10:41.575)
potentially has zombifying powers. This is a completely new idea that I'm not copying from anywhere. And they were scared that some German leaning people would make use of it for a bad thing. So they consecrated the church. There you go.

Matt (01:10:47.157)
Okay.

Matt (01:10:50.706)
No, it doesn't sound like it.

Matthew Ward (01:11:07.766)
They're afraid of Nazis? Nazi zombies?

Matt (01:11:07.809)
Great.

Luciano (01:11:10.4)
Yeah. In France? Yes, they are.

Matt (01:11:14.209)
Unrelated to that, Gerard de Perdue is in police custody over linear sexual assault allegations as of April 29th, 2024. So he's not going to make this movie. He's busy deconsecrating churches from the sounds of it.

Luciano (01:11:20.929)
Yeesh.

Matthew Ward (01:11:23.167)
okay. Yeah.

Luciano (01:11:24.943)
Also, yeah, I don't want him in this movie now.

Matthew Ward (01:11:28.853)
There you go. There you go.

Luciano (01:11:30.003)
Ayyyy

Matthew Ward (01:11:32.436)
So it was a touchy thing, you know.

Matt (01:11:33.161)
got him moving it was it definitely was a touchy thing we're gonna move on and I want to know I want to know about Jen the singer you love her so much Matt and I think you were the perfect person to tell me why did Jen's band ditch her why do they not do a single show

Luciano (01:11:38.385)
Hahaha!

Matthew Ward (01:11:42.302)
Dear God. Yeah.

Luciano (01:11:49.393)
Okay, your answer cannot be because her singing sucks because that's too easy.

Matthew Ward (01:11:53.95)
So I can't say they just, heard her vocal track and was like, we could auto tune this.

Luciano (01:11:57.497)
No. No. They knew going in how she sang and they were okay with it.

Matt (01:11:59.743)
No, because they knew going into it.

Matthew Ward (01:12:05.642)
Hmm. Why did I break up?

Luciano (01:12:13.991)
No, why did they kick her out?

Matthew Ward (01:12:15.092)
Why do they kick her out? I guess the obvious answer is just copious amounts of cocaine. But I think it was mostly that she, insisted, so they bought, so this is the thing. She's got a soft spot on the back of her head, which we later saw earlier because it causes her to go blind just from like the bare barest of touches. So they were like, listen, what's her name again?

Luciano (01:12:25.681)
That.

Luciano (01:12:37.739)
my god.

Matt (01:12:38.835)
Of course.

Luciano (01:12:47.272)
Jen.

Matthew Ward (01:12:47.696)
Jen, okay, Jesus, that's even just a terrible, my God. Anyway, everyone's like named Psy and Z and what's your name? Jen, all right, fine, whatever, we'll go with that. Anyway, they're like, listen Jen, we're gonna go on stage and we need to protect that soft spot because we don't wanna have you halfway through the song bumping into something and then suddenly you sound good. That's not the lick that we're going for here. We're looking to sound bad.

and to really, really nail that indie, never gonna make it sound. So we want you to wear this helmet. And they give her one of those big football helmets, but like the new ones that look like they're inflatable. So they've got that like big thing to just protect. You know what I'm talking about, right? I Patrick Mahomes wearing them once. Yeah, I think he literally wears that under his normal helmet. That's like eight sizes too big, but we're getting off topic here. So she's wearing this giant Kansas City Chiefs, just melon of a helmet.

Matt (01:13:30.066)
yeah.

Yeah.

Luciano (01:13:39.815)
Hahaha

Matthew Ward (01:13:46.585)
And she's just like, I can't do this. She gets out and she's just like, she's just like, I won't do it. I refuse, but she won't do it in front of them. So she gets out on the stage and this is their big break. I didn't point that out. This is like when all the scouts are there and she's just like, I'm gonna, I'm gonna let them just see who I am and I'm gonna sing the best song I possibly can. And halfway through the song, it's just going exactly to plan. You know, it's off key. It's just sounds terrible. And she's like, I, I now's my chance.

And she just whips this helmet off and her hair comes flying out and doves fly from the corners of the rooms, cause you know, John Woo. So like, it's slow motion and she's just whipping her head back and forth and then she accidentally bumps it against the mic and then suddenly can't see anything and just starts singing Jeff Healy covers for the whole rest of the song. then they're like,

Luciano (01:14:25.403)
It's John Woo, yeah.

Matthew Ward (01:14:45.452)
No! This is too good! You're out of the band! And then they went and found a homeless guy to replace her, who was just way more off tune.

Matt (01:14:56.223)
So I just have to ask one question, because I think this is all really strong and good. But they did say, or she did say, they never played one show. So is this her memory of the situation? OK, she had a dream. That's what she dreamed up.

Matthew Ward (01:15:06.671)
Mm

Matthew Ward (01:15:10.253)
This was going to be their lead into shows. So this was like just there was literally just one agent. That's it. And, you know, it was Charlie Cox is Daredevil. So he couldn't see anything anyway. That's why the Jeff Healy angle was so good, because, you know, just he pierced through the veil of sight into their whole into their soul.

Matt (01:15:22.271)
right.

Luciano (01:15:39.512)
I mean, famously did not pierce any veil of anything because none of them can see, but you know.

Matthew Ward (01:15:44.965)
But you know, and you know where it was? It was at the Roadhouse.

Matt (01:15:47.349)
Emotionally pierced.

Luciano (01:15:48.373)
I emotionally pierced I think.

Luciano (01:15:53.464)
it all comes full circle.

Matthew Ward (01:15:55.265)
All goes full circle.

Matt (01:15:56.469)
the Runehausen in Europe. I'm not going to ask any further questions. It feels like this is falling apart. We're going to move on. The Taylor. Tessier. What would he actually? I know he made suits. Bruce knows too.

Matthew Ward (01:15:58.403)
Yeah. Yeah.

Luciano (01:16:06.397)
Right.

Matthew Ward (01:16:07.076)
Mm

Matthew Ward (01:16:17.957)
I feel like there's an intruder in your house.

Luciano (01:16:23.025)
No, it was just someone walking outside the door, probably.

Matthew Ward (01:16:25.464)
Yeah, this is an intruder. This is a protection thing.

Matt (01:16:33.121)
she barks at every sound.

Matt (01:16:38.261)
The intruder is my wife in the bedroom, asking her to go down.

Matthew Ward (01:16:41.308)
how dare she.

Matthew Ward (01:16:50.531)
Folks, we're on hiatus for dog inspection.

Matt (01:16:58.613)
you

Luciano (01:16:59.015)
This is never gonna make, never gonna see the light of day, cause Matt's gonna cut it all off. We can see the most outlandish shit here.

Matthew Ward (01:17:04.279)
feel like at the end of the day, Matt's just gonna cut pretty much everything I say. I feel like when you're done editing this, it's just like, and with us is Matt, and I'm like, hey, and that's the only thing I say for the entire podcast.

Matt (01:17:09.546)
Yeah.

Luciano (01:17:15.567)
Hahaha!

Matt (01:17:16.389)
Goodbye. That's it. All right, let me do that again. what are Tessier, the tailor? Like I know he is obviously tailoring. What does he really do? Because people don't just come up to you and say, make a suit and you're like, no thanks. And then like break your fucking hand. Yeah.

Luciano (01:17:27.995)
Is it Taylor? Right.

Luciano (01:17:37.363)
with the shit out of it, So I think he is, like Taylor is his like second job, like his hobby. He's really good at it, but like who can actually buy, how many people can actually buy 10 ,000 euros worth of like shoes and clothes, right? So that's his like hobby job. His real job is,

Matt (01:17:48.619)
Sure.

Matthew Ward (01:17:59.203)
After Brexit, nobody.

Luciano (01:18:05.189)
He makes artisanally crafted suppositories for men. And they're like for all sorts of ailments and reasons and like, you know, it can be to cure baldness. It could be to cure athlete's foot. It could be to cure broccoli ears, which is what that guy wanted, but

Matt (01:18:13.664)
Okay, I like that.

Matthew Ward (01:18:32.288)
Luciano, do some of these suppositories also turn into carbon fiber ninja swords?

Luciano (01:18:39.571)
I mean, that's so that kind of dovetails into his third business, which is making weapons that are very hard to hide and to take a long time to assemble. Exactly. Yeah. So he tried making a carbon fiber suppository once. Apparently the clientele didn't like it. I don't know why. Seems perfectly viable to me.

Matt (01:18:45.878)
Mm

Matthew Ward (01:18:51.954)
and even harder to assemble.

Luciano (01:19:08.913)
But then he, you know, dad gave him an idea for a fourth business, which is the dildo making business, but that's, we're not talking about that. We're talking about his main job. And so he sells these artisanally made.

Matthew Ward (01:19:25.29)
Dildos?

Luciano (01:19:27.693)
No, well, I mean, use them how you want them. Suppositories is what I'm saying. And they're like alternative medicine kind of thing. They're like purpose made. He measures whatever you're going to shove him in first. He makes a mold. You can put it wherever you want, Matt.

Matthew Ward (01:19:30.48)
Hahaha

Matt (01:19:43.627)
That's your butthole, if it's just so we're clear.

Matthew Ward (01:19:47.134)
So he's just a tailor then.

Matt (01:19:50.079)
You called it a suppository.

Luciano (01:19:51.667)
You can put... Listen, it's 2024. Don't let the dictionary people tell you where to put suppositories. Actually, I'm pretty sure suppositories is anything you put into your body, but I could be wrong. But anyway, yeah, so, you know, could be whatever, could be Nazir's, could be, you know, some other much smaller, much more painful hole. I don't know. No kink shaming from me or from whatever his name is.

Matt (01:20:00.349)
My bad.

Matt (01:20:05.073)
it's true. It's any orifice.

Matt (01:20:20.811)
Tessier. He's French after all.

Luciano (01:20:21.319)
Tessier, yeah. So, it doesn't look French. But anyway, I think that's pretty clear from the clues in the movie that he is a suppository maker.

Matt (01:20:28.404)
Are you saying?

Matt (01:20:36.865)
Pretty clear. No, I think that's fair. No further questions. Hey.

Matthew Ward (01:20:38.258)
Yeah, that's probably why he broke his fingers on that guy. Like he was going in for a suppository and just got stuck.

Luciano (01:20:43.377)
Yeah, measuring. Measuring. Measuring. He was measuring. And the guy clenched and broke his fingers. Yeah.

Matt (01:20:43.595)
Shove it up his butt.

Matt (01:20:50.447)
You clench too soon. Yeah, it happens to the best of us.

Matthew Ward (01:20:50.75)
I have difficulty understanding how that's not just every tailor I've went to.

Matt (01:20:57.941)
Right.

Luciano (01:20:59.373)
Yes. It's a clothes making with a side of harassment, right?

Matthew Ward (01:21:00.454)
Like, you know, my first communion, first communion when I had to get sized for that like dress. Yeah.

Luciano (01:21:11.57)
Wait, dress?

Matthew Ward (01:21:12.56)
I don't know, they make you wear like a weird... I guess it's like smock? I don't know. Dress smock. Someone touched my butthole. That's all I know and all I remember. It's stuck in my head.

Matt (01:21:17.227)
smock. Yeah, yeah.

Luciano (01:21:18.389)
a smock, okay.

Matt (01:21:24.337)
On that note, we should probably move on and just wrap this whole thing up and talk about our view of this movie. S is the highest, F is the lowest. He don't have to, but it's your choice. Luciano, can you... What movie happened?

Luciano (01:21:26.065)
That someone was you.

Matthew Ward (01:21:27.449)
Yes.

Luciano (01:21:34.746)
Hahaha

Luciano (01:21:40.456)
Okay.

Sure. So I wish I could have the two hours back of my life. I went in with low expectations for any actual kind of story, but somewhat high expectations for the action part of it, being a John Woo movie. I was disappointed both ways somehow. I don't know how that was possible.

Matt (01:21:52.16)
doesn't.

Luciano (01:22:14.009)
I, you know, like you said, Matt, in the beginning, the movie got, like you could be charming at times and the acting isn't horrendous except for Sam Warthenton, you know, but let's leave that alone. So I don't really have much to recommend. Like my only recommendation is if you haven't watched this movie, don't, because you're not missing anything.

That being said, it's not quite at the level of like a union or Madam Web. So this is like a solid E for me. Because, eh.

Matt (01:22:50.625)
Okay, that's a rating. Matt, what do you got?

Matthew Ward (01:22:55.002)
So despite like my rantings on this and the fact is like let's be honest you hit the nail on the head. think a lot of my dislike for this is just because I literally watched a far superior movie with the same name. Like less than eight hours from seeing this film which really does not help. But I will give it some credit because like even when it comes to some of the John Woo

Luciano (01:23:10.737)
Hahaha

Matthew Ward (01:23:24.697)
that I've seen. This one actually, I felt like there was a better flow to this. Like there's plot holes for sure, but the film felt like it flowed into itself pretty good. Like the story was easier to follow. It wasn't as broken apart as some of the John Woo films that I've watched. Like I know we look at like Mission Impossible 2 and are like, that's a good movie. Watch that again. It makes no sense. It feels like you're watching a music video.

It's so bizarre in how it goes and the scene cuts that just do not do not marry to each other. So it's just this abrupt changes. He seems to have avoided that a lot in this one. That's not happening as much in his other films. So I appreciated that. I did appreciate some of the actors. I really dug the guy who played is a sigh. Say, say Omar.

Luciano (01:24:19.101)
Say.

Matt (01:24:20.437)
Yeah, Omar.

Matthew Ward (01:24:21.856)
I really appreciated him. actually did appreciate the main character. We re -ripped on her for being like, know, the skinny girl trying to fight the big dudes. I get that. That always bugs me, the skinny people fighting these big guys. But I still think for the look, for the style, it worked. So I would give it actually, I'd give it a pretty high C, I would say. That's where I would go.

Luciano (01:24:48.349)
Jesus You're completely drunk

Matt (01:24:50.197)
You're drunk. That's the only answer. But you're welcome to your own opinion. We wouldn't judge you on this podcast at all. What? I don't know what you're talking about. I also watched this movie. This movie is a tale of many things because it.

Luciano (01:24:56.433)
What? I didn't sign up for that.

Matt (01:25:09.953)
You know, it does some things really well. And then it does other things like story and motivations poorly. And so.

Matthew Ward (01:25:20.339)
Hahaha

Luciano (01:25:20.764)
You

Matt (01:25:23.221)
I think for me, I'm going to put it as a D. You know, I think you can watch some of this movie and some of the police things are really dumb, but the other times the story kind of flows. The twist is fine. And you know, like the characters are, the actors are good and are trying hard to be entertaining. So, you know, don't watch it, but D is my, put it on the box.

Matthew Ward (01:25:50.485)
If you have to.

Luciano (01:25:51.859)
D for don't watch it? Okay. All right.

Matt (01:25:54.369)
Yeah, that's what I'm going with. So, you know, watch any of the other movies, The Killer. Watch the 89 one, watch the 2023 one. This should be the last.

Luciano (01:26:04.147)
There's a 2022 one as well, a Korean one.

Matt (01:26:07.349)
Great. Why watch that too? You can't be worse, right? Take your chances at this point. All right. So that's the end of this one. Listen, I'm going be real with everybody right now.

Luciano (01:26:10.941)
Yeah.

Luciano (01:26:17.393)
Hahaha!

Matthew Ward (01:26:18.038)
Hahaha!

Matt (01:26:23.349)
Sometimes on this podcast we watch movies because we know they're good and we like good movies. Sometimes on this podcast we take some risks because we want to see what's out there. Like this movie, we like John Woo. He's a classic action guy. We want to see what he had going on. It was a bit of a disappointment. And then sometimes, a lot lately actually, studios release Madame Web and we need to watch it.

for the memes or the jokes. And so without further ado, we're watching Borderlands. I guess the Cate Blanchett vehicle, just have to, know, Kevin Hart, Jack Block, let me preface this. Cate Blanchett did this movie because, and I quote, she was bored during COVID. So, you know, nothing could possibly go wrong.

Matthew Ward (01:27:01.064)
yeah.

Luciano (01:27:05.213)
Kevin Hart vehicle.

Luciano (01:27:15.995)
That's just good omens for the movie, right? Yeah.

Matt (01:27:20.917)
This movie is was in the theaters for two weeks, two seconds. We we we we very rarely do we go to the theater and watch a movie last time. Obviously Deadpool will reign. This is not a movie we're going to the theater to watch. It is already available streaming. So we're going to. Also great moments, yeah, so we're going to take care of that for you. We're going to watch it and then we'll tell you how good.

Luciano (01:27:26.269)
seconds

Luciano (01:27:40.729)
Also great omens for the movie.

Matt (01:27:50.567)
It is. Or not, potentially. We don't know. Positive, positive thought process. We're going to be eyes wide open. Maybe slightly intoxicated, but. We'll see. So the next movie is Borderlands.

Luciano (01:27:51.771)
Okay, we will.

Luciano (01:28:01.447)
Yes.

Matthew Ward (01:28:05.254)
predicts so good it's so bad it's good.

Luciano (01:28:10.759)
Well, I think that's the best we can hope for.

Matt (01:28:10.863)
I hope so.

Matt (01:28:14.465)
Listen, the Eli Roth vehicle board alliance is going to be epic.

Matthew Ward (01:28:18.049)
god. god.

Luciano (01:28:18.515)
Jesus Christ

Matt (01:28:23.839)
All I'm going to say is you don't have to listen to every episode. If you choose to skip the next one.

Luciano (01:28:27.635)
We are not going to be mad.

Matt (01:28:32.267)
That's cool, man. Not every movie's ever once got a tea. We'll catch you in the flippy flop. But if you're gonna, if you're gonna listen to the next one, that's great. We'll see you next time. Tell you one more time, it's Borderlands. You've been warned. When you see the title say Borderlands, it's not a joke. We're seriously reviewing that movie. It's all for the craft. I'm sorry, goodbye.

Luciano (01:28:46.653)
Yeah.

It's all for the craft.

Matthew Ward (01:28:53.456)
Yeah.