Matt (00:01.023)
Hello and welcome back to Popcorn and Plot Holes. It's Jackathon season.

Luciano (00:08.718)
Eyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Chris (00:09.171)
Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun

Spencer (00:11.02)
Boogie!

Matt (00:13.047)
We are jack-a-thonning ourselves off to the last voyage of the Demeter. Yes, we are. I'm host. I'm the host. That's what we did. That's what we all did. As you can hear, Luciano has some disagreement about the jack-a-thon quality of this movie.

Luciano (00:15.766)
No, we're not. We're not doing no such thing.

Spencer (00:17.409)
Hehehehe

Luciano (00:29.926)
Oh no, I have no qualms about the Jackathon quality of this movie.

Matt (00:33.467)
Oh great, thank you. We also have Wolfman Chris joining us.

Chris (00:37.155)
Welcome to the Midnight Hour.

Matt (00:39.975)
Wow, very well done. And back from, uh, parts unknown. I assume he was in Transylvania practicing his Jackathon moves. Spencer.

Chris (00:48.499)
Oh my god.

Spencer (00:49.512)
I was, I was practicing my jiggy jackathon moves in Transylvania to get in the spirit for this film or movie.

Spencer (01:01.828)
Which of it? Which one? We'll find out soon.

Spencer (01:08.356)
Ha ha ha.

Matt (01:14.143)
I already said the last voyage is at the meter, I don't know why anybody's confused at which movie we're watching, Spencer.

Spencer (01:18.476)
I didn't say which movie, I said whether it's a film or a movie. We'll get to the bottom of it, right after this.

Matt (01:21.783)
Oh, all right. We won't, we're never gonna figure that out for you. But let's talk about the last voice of the Demeter. This is a 2023 vehicle starring some people.

Chris (01:30.973)
Hmm.

Spencer (01:36.332)
vehicle of 2023?

Luciano (01:37.026)
Hey, Lee and Cunningham is...

Chris (01:39.011)
Yeah, you put some respect on.

Matt (01:39.435)
Sure, that's fair. Liam Cunningham, David Delmash, is it Delmashian? Did I get that right? Dalmatian? Okay.

Chris (01:43.291)
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know if you got it right, but Dalmatian. That would be awesome if they rebooted another live action, 101 Dalmatians, and had him lead as the father of Congo. No, as the human owner of the male dog.

Luciano (01:44.53)
I always say Dalmatian and it's not...

Luciano (01:58.102)
as one of the Dalmatians. Ha ha.

Luciano (02:03.201)
Uh, I see.

Spencer (02:04.11)
Don't give them any ideas for new reboots. Stop it, it's already dead.

Luciano (02:06.238)
Yeah, please, please don't.

Chris (02:11.052)
Where do you think the industry goes? Listen, yes, that's correct. But where do you think the industry machine goes for untrodden, right, it's us, it's this spot.

Matt (02:11.535)
Those are our ideas.

Luciano (02:21.01)
Unhinged ideas here. Yeah.

Matt (02:24.307)
I thought it was cocaine.

Luciano (02:26.198)
That too.

Chris (02:26.5)
Ah ha!

Spencer (02:26.592)
Hey, hey, can it be both?

Matt (02:29.475)
That's fair. I think it is both. Let's but hey, let's be professionals and talk about the last voyage of the Demeter. The Yes, it's the 2023 vehicle starring Leon Cunningham and David Dalmatian as some of us call him. And other people I'm looking up IMDB list. It's fine. This is great podcasting. Let's talk about the movie. There were I'll get to them. Anyways, movie thoughts overall high level thoughts loved it hated it.

Luciano (02:29.687)
Yeah, it's probably both. Yeah.

Chris (02:31.426)
when guys get them.

Luciano (02:35.918)
Is that what we're doing?

Chris (02:36.277)
Bye.

Luciano (02:43.778)
Hahaha

Chris (02:44.955)
Down.

Spencer (02:49.292)
There were other actors in it.

Chris (02:52.022)
Hawkins.

Matt (02:58.959)
wished they never watched it, wished they had the sun light them on fire in the morning.

Spencer (03:04.972)
Mm-hmm.

Luciano (03:05.814)
Wish they hadn't made a two-hour movie out of a chapter of a single book. That's my take on it.

Chris (03:06.387)
Hmm.

Matt (03:10.363)
Okay.

Spencer (03:10.484)
Yeah. Tell that to the Hobbit trilogy, okay?

Chris (03:12.543)
That's a feat.

Matt (03:14.343)
Yeah, yeah.

Luciano (03:15.303)
That's exactly what I'm thinking about.

Spencer (03:18.457)
it worked for them and it worked for this not they both suck now but listen we're not here to talk about the hobbit trilogy will save that for another jackathon

Luciano (03:20.907)
No, it didn't in either case

Chris (03:25.455)
Wip wip

Luciano (03:27.639)
Yeah.

I was.

Matt (03:33.48)
Mm-hmm

Luciano (03:33.967)
Okay, I have to say I was I was whelmed I was under whelmed

Chris (03:34.419)
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHU

Matt (03:38.475)
Well, that's something. Oh, oh, yeah.

Spencer (03:38.716)
I will say this movie was very bad, very bad. This movie is like alien, but instead of being in space, it's on water. And instead of being good, it's bad, exactly, yes. And instead of an amazing creature design, it's a CGI piece of crap made on a...

Chris (03:38.888)
There you go.

Chris (03:50.824)
What?

Matt (03:55.095)
Okay.

Luciano (03:55.426)
Instead of being good, it's bad?

Chris (03:59.027)
You can use it.

Chris (04:06.588)
MESS.

Matt (04:07.323)
I gotta say here, I don't have a huge problem with the creation design. I don't think it's great, but it's effective at what they're trying to do. It's not Dracula!

Spencer (04:07.756)
2001 Macintosh computer. Go ahead.

Luciano (04:19.702)
It is, it is. I, it's, that's what I was going to say. I was like, wait a minute. This is supposed to be, this is supposed to be Dracula, but it's actually Nosferatu, like what's happening here.

Spencer (04:20.384)
You know, I disagree with you, vehemently.

Matt (04:26.101)
When it is Dracula?

Spencer (04:28.429)
No.

Matt (04:31.627)
Yes.

Spencer (04:32.456)
It actually looks like one of those creatures from the movie, The Descent, if it had wings and was made with bad CGI instead of makeup. I hated the creature design and I hated the look of it and the way it moved and the way, because it was horribly unscary to me. It looked just so bland. It looked like a, like a henchman in another movie, you know, where it's like,

Chris (04:32.664)
Okay.

Luciano (04:44.701)
Oh really?

Luciano (04:48.575)
Why?

Chris (05:00.179)
I don't know.

Spencer (05:01.952)
Before we get to the main villain, we have to get through this CGI monster. Like the, yeah, exactly. You see like seven or maybe like an army that the Avengers have to fight that are just like, they look all the same and are easy to kill without morals. Yeah. They kind of look like shitty Chitares.

Luciano (05:02.179)
I can see that.

Like seven of these, like seven of them. Yeah.

Luciano (05:16.051)
Like a shitty cheetari, is that what you're calling him? Hahaha!

Chris (05:21.796)
No, no, you're all wrong. This character model for Dracula looked like Gollum with a Hollywood makeover ear extension surgery. Like, my precious ears must be TikTok ready.

Spencer (05:28.438)
Yes.

Matt (05:32.895)
and wings.

Spencer (05:34.044)
Stupid butt processes! I need my ears extended!

Luciano (05:34.502)
And wings, yeah. Ha ha ha.

Matt (05:36.927)
Gollum needs wings.

Luciano (05:40.852)
Hahaha!

Matt (05:41.532)
So, I think part of the challenge with this movie is they are obviously working on a budget and they did some really smart things to work within that budget such as having Dracula having it only be a nighttime thing. It's a lot easier to create CG that looks passable when it's dark, right? Because you just skip a lot of things. I don't think they failed the CG because they never showed it. Like okay, they failed the two spots, but it wasn't integral to the movie. The flaw in the movie is that much like...

Spencer (05:56.448)
Yet they still failed.

Luciano (05:59.722)
Yeah, I wasn't... It wasn't great, right?

Matt (06:09.547)
them making choices to cut money around using the darkness. They also took choices like cutting out plot and character development to sort of build any real tension around who gets murdered and why they get murdered by Dracula.

Luciano (06:15.9)
Yeah.

Spencer (06:17.686)
Listen.

Spencer (06:22.52)
We'll get to its other failings. Don't you worry. Nope, we're not there now. I'm not done shitting on this character design.

Matt (06:24.763)
No, we're there now. I...

Luciano (06:27.526)
I don't, I, so.

Chris (06:30.643)
But we're on our way!

Matt (06:32.479)
We only have so much time for this podcast, we know you hate the character design. You said everything, what more could you say about it?

Luciano (06:35.834)
Yeah.

Spencer (06:37.98)
Um, well, my main thing was why didn't they just do practical? I, the opening scene of Dracula, you just see his hand and it's a practical hand and makeup and it got me so excited. Cause I was like, Oh, maybe, maybe they're going to do it in practical. And then maybe at the end, I knew it was going to turn to a CGI crap fest by the end, but I thought maybe slowly he'd turn into a CGI crap fest and start off practical, but no, they didn't. And he was crappy. Now I'm done.

Chris (06:38.865)
Let him cook.

Luciano (06:49.482)
It was pretty good, right? Yeah.

Chris (06:49.779)
Mm.

Matt (07:08.199)
Wow, riveting stuff. Thank you, Spencer. So anyways, back to the point I was making that the movie itself suffers from a lack of direction and ideas into how to make this. The premise is excellent. I actually don't have a problem with what happened to Dracula on the zinometer. Great premise. But from the setup of showing me generic fantasy town that looks like it never existed on the earth towards the rest of the movie, it just left me

Spencer (07:09.763)
That is riveting! Needed to know that.

Chris (07:12.474)
Hmm.

Spencer (07:25.194)
Love the premise.

Luciano (07:33.92)
Yeah.

Matt (07:38.363)
underwhelmed in terms of what they did.

Luciano (07:39.682)
That was something I was like, this that city that they show the Bulgarian city that they show seems less real than the city the cities they show on Dungeons and Dragons like that was I was like, yeah, I was like, what is this? What is the city doesn't make any sense. And, and I was like, I don't hate the creature as much as Spencer clearly does. But I was

Matt (07:45.661)
Mm-hmm.

Matt (07:49.907)
That's correct. Neverwinter was a real city.

Spencer (08:04.476)
Oh, you will. You will.

Chris (08:05.22)
Hmm.

Luciano (08:06.923)
I was confused because I thought this was supposed to be Dracula, but it's Count Orloff from the movie Nosferatu, the 1920s one.

Spencer (08:14.784)
If you haven't seen the movie, he looks like an orc with wings, right? Sorry, he looks like an orc from The Hobbit with wings. Closer.

Luciano (08:19.145)
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Matt (08:20.063)
That's unkind to orcs, sir.

Luciano (08:22.223)
Yeah.

Chris (08:22.387)
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Matt (08:27.371)
better.

Luciano (08:28.198)
Yeah. Let him cook. Let him cook.

Matt (08:32.407)
Chris, you're being uncharacteristically silent. Did you love this movie?

Chris (08:38.891)
I love that this movie would still have lost out to other made for TV movies period. It lost out, it would not have won in the caliber. This movie, even with like, I understand why it didn't go to theaters. Even if you tell me it did go, no, it did not go to theaters. No one paid.

Luciano (08:50.978)
So no is the answer.

Spencer (08:51.712)
Lost out to them how?

Spencer (09:03.109)
It did, it was in theater, just nobody saw it.

Matt (09:05.581)
It did.

Chris (09:08.015)
No one to- no- Studio in its right mind would put this on the silver screen.

Matt (09:09.835)
That's some, some people paid.

Luciano (09:12.954)
Yeah, was it like a week in theaters? Is it something like that?

Spencer (09:13.868)
That's like that. That's like a philosophy. That's like a philosophical philosophy, philosophical question. If a movie goes to theaters, but no one watches it, was it truly in theaters?

Chris (09:19.803)
Philosophical?

Luciano (09:26.036)
Was it even there? Did it make a sound?

Chris (09:27.731)
I don't think, I don't believe you.

Matt (09:28.906)
21 million worth of people watched it and the budget of this movie was 45 million and it seems like they overspent massively

Luciano (09:33.87)
Oh.

Spencer (09:34.014)
Whoa.

And that's a low budget nowadays.

Chris (09:37.271)
See, I think you're proving my point. I would have been whelmed by this movie if it was 1998, and period. So it did not, I did not get any percolating in my heart pumping area for it.

Luciano (09:42.317)
I whelmed.

Luciano (09:52.647)
It wasn't, it wasn't honestly even really that scary. Like it was supposed to be horror? No.

Spencer (09:57.105)
Did anybody get scared at all?

Chris (09:57.979)
would... I don't do well with horror movies and my usual approach to movies that I fear are going to be is to speed it up slightly to one and a quarter or 1.5 and I was still fine. I was like something's coming. Oh this is okay. Back to the story. Oh it's fine. Okay I'm done. This thing is I'm just gonna enjoy my water and wait for the whelm.

Luciano (10:13.856)
They tried a couple of jump scares, but even that... Yeah.

Spencer (10:21.896)
Oh no. Were you scared? Oh no, it's a 3D rendering of a PS3 game. Look out!

Chris (10:29.606)
Damn.

Luciano (10:30.658)
He's really mad about this.

Spencer (10:32.564)
His face was so stupid!

Matt (10:35.547)
I'm really glad he's letting it go and hasn't stayed stuck on it at all. That's the main part. Yeah. So let's talk about some things that might have been interesting. Personally, spoilers if you haven't watched this movie, we're about to get real into it right now. Murdering the child was an excellent choice. I did not see that coming whatsoever.

Luciano (10:37.574)
Yeah, not bitter about it either. Yeah.

Chris (10:39.16)
Exercise the demons.

Spencer (10:41.17)
Not at all.

Chris (10:54.599)
Let's do it.

Chris (10:58.535)
Was it?

Spencer (10:58.749)
And that was excellent. And they also faked you out with it too. Cause you're like, oh, they're not gonna kill him. They're not gonna kill him. And then they bite, then the spoilers, then Dracula bites him and you're like, he's not gonna die. And then he like goes limp and you're like, oh wow, they're gonna kill him.

Luciano (11:00.586)
Yeah.

Matt (11:03.529)
Yes.

Luciano (11:03.647)
Yeah.

Chris (11:16.747)
Oh, his eyes are rolling back, uh oh.

Luciano (11:17.119)
He was like, eyes open and everything. I thought he was dead and then they're transfusing blood again. We're gonna get into that later. And I was like, oh, they're not gonna kill the child.

Spencer (11:25.66)
Yeah. And then you're like, and then you go in your head, you're like, I knew it, they couldn't, they weren't gonna do it. And then they like, then he dies off screen. They're like, and then you're like, oh, he's dead, okay, wow, good for you movie for like pulling the trigger on that, you know? And then the captain's like, he moved! And I'm like, oh, he's gonna like come back? I'm like, I was like, that's weird.

Luciano (11:30.566)
Yeah, exactly.

Luciano (11:35.464)
And how he dies. Yeah.

Chris (11:36.467)
Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe hehehe hehehe hehehe hehehe he

Matt (11:37.553)
Yeah.

Luciano (11:43.322)
Yeah.

Chris (11:46.519)
Mm-hmm. Oh, yeah. Right. Yeah.

Luciano (11:47.754)
Oh, poor, poor guy. I was like, poor guy.

Matt (11:50.548)
Not like this, Captain.

Spencer (11:51.776)
And then, and then he comes back to life and it's just like, just horrifying. He just burns to death. By far. And my wife looked at my screen at that one moment. She's like, was that a child? I'm like, it was.

Chris (11:55.746)
He was right!

Luciano (11:56.262)
it's the worst out of all of the deaths i think it was the worst with like the most grizzly one by far

Matt (12:07.42)
Ha ha!

Luciano (12:10.976)
Yeah, I was watching it with my wife because she loves horror movies and we were watching and then they pull the captain from him and we were both like, did he just rip his arms off? Yep, he ripped his arms off.

Matt (12:11.531)
Heheheheheheh

Chris (12:11.612)
Yeah

Chris (12:25.971)
Hmm. Oh, that would have been the movie would have come alive for me if that happened and yet Like they overspent they shouldn't have brought Liam Cunningham because the man's the mains too good like He drew me in and I was like, oh great Granddaddy Was like granddaddy and then that happened and I was like, oh shit And then he like not once did he ever complain about those fourth degree burns

Spencer (12:26.104)
Hehehehehehe

Luciano (12:38.066)
Yeah, he was. Fucking carried that whole movie on his back. Yeah.

Spencer (12:41.976)
I wish he was in it more.

Luciano (12:52.594)
Yeah, let's not get into that right now. Yeah.

Matt (12:53.407)
We'll get into that. That is a plot hole we'll be covering. Don't worry about that.

Spencer (12:57.045)
Well, we're getting to all of that, don't you worry.

Luciano (12:59.218)
I like how it's a fourth degree burn. It burned his soul. Ha ha.

Chris (13:04.779)
It was! This movie burned his character and the actor to a crisp.

Matt (13:10.053)
Mm-hmm.

Spencer (13:10.088)
Yeah, he was underutilized, I believe.

Luciano (13:14.235)
Yeah, definitely.

Matt (13:14.539)
Well, the cast is interesting, right? Because you have at least three actors that know what they're doing and have some history. And they

Spencer (13:19.171)
Yes.

I thought you were gonna say some chutzpah.

Luciano (13:22.513)
And then some other people, yeah.

Matt (13:24.431)
Well, so other than, I mean, if you think about the characters, some of it is a lot of stereotyping, right? Like you have the, hey, I'm the one Russian sailor on this Russian ship that is definitely going to die because I'm a misogynistic racist a-hole. And he dies first, which is great. And but mostly the people don't have to do any, do any acting, right? They're just play, play a play a character and yell, play a stereotype.

Chris (13:24.765)
Hehehe

Luciano (13:30.835)
Oh yeah.

Luciano (13:40.383)
Yeah.

Luciano (13:48.478)
yelling they're just yelling basically

Spencer (13:50.124)
Play a scared- Play a scared guy.

Luciano (13:52.927)
Yeah.

Matt (13:52.995)
All seven of you, or ten of you, on this giant ship that needs how many actual crew to sail?

Chris (13:59.987)
This is why it's important to give jobs to the homeless. You see, so many people need to start a second. Well, that's right.

Luciano (14:00.997)
Yeah, this giant chip that is so gigantic and so hollow that you can tap and it like echoes, the taps echoes. What the fuck? I was so confused about that.

Spencer (14:04.248)
then they wouldn't be homeless.

Spencer (14:10.284)
Yeah, it echoes throughout the whole thing. And did the vampire... Did the vampire learn the echo system, the knocking system, like immediately?

Chris (14:13.867)
Yeah, that was odd.

Chris (14:19.895)
He did in the did he did he did. Yeah, because like, yeah, Olga, everyone taught him that it's like, oh, this is these motherfuckers are either working on some kind of drum kit machine or.

Luciano (14:21.167)
I have no idea. Oh, did he?

Spencer (14:24.318)
Who taught him that?

Spencer (14:32.276)
Yeah, they're all knocking everywhere. What is that system? It's like, well, you knock and then they knock and then he knocks and then nothing happens.

Chris (14:36.312)
Are these hipsters trying to make an album?

Luciano (14:39.87)
Yeah, it was never it's never well explained It's like oh if you have problems knock on the wood and then what and then people will know that you knocked on the wood Oh, thanks

Spencer (14:45.716)
And then... And they'll knock back!

Matt (14:47.788)
Mm-hmm. Yeah, because there's no way, um, we got his name here, Mr. Olgaren, um, was like, you knock if you need help. Like, he was going to sleep. Why would he, why would he hear him? He passed out.

Chris (14:50.673)
Mm-hmm.

Chris (14:55.25)
Mm-hmm.

Luciano (15:00.014)
Yeah, yeah. No, and I was very confused by the way they portray it because like you knocked it and it goes to do to do to do to do. I'm like, what is what is happening? This is how sound works. Yeah.

Matt (15:08.948)
The echo? Yeah.

Spencer (15:11.252)
That's not how echoes work. Yeah, that's so true. Well, that's why I thought it was people knocking back and I'm like, so you knock and they knock back and then that nothing happens.

Matt (15:13.991)
Isn't it? Yeah, it's very fancy.

Chris (15:14.091)
Is this ship made of fiberglass?

Luciano (15:24.266)
No, it's the boat is so big that sound takes a little bit to travel. I guess I know. Yeah. And it only works. It only works when you knock on a specific place, because when Ogarin was fucking headbutting the fucking door when he gets turned, he knocks and knocks and knocks on that and nobody hears. Nobody hears it.

Spencer (15:28.676)
I don't know, but that's not how wood works!

Chris (15:28.679)
That didn't make any sense. Correct. Solid objects, for that matter, and sound.

Spencer (15:49.876)
Yeah, you know what? And the amount of echoes that you hear is like the equivalent of a giant chasm. Like not even if that chip was hollow, the cuckoo cuckoo.

Luciano (15:57.968)
Yes! As if it was bouncing around. It's like the Grand Canyon. Yeah.

Chris (16:03.571)
The chef heard the chef heard ogre zombie ogre and banging on his head. He's like wait. Do you hear that? So then what part was that from?

Luciano (16:07.954)
No, no, that was Toby begging on the ceiling.

Matt (16:10.763)
That was Toby. Yeah. And that one makes sense because they were like basically below him. So the sound would basically, you'd hear the sound. It wasn't echolocating like fucking Morbius out here.

Chris (16:12.967)
Weird, okay, thank you. All right. Yeah, okay. That's fine, okay.

Luciano (16:18.903)
Yeah.

Spencer (16:20.012)
No. No, I got it guys. It's cause, no, it's cause the knock has to be two consecutive knocks. And the guy was banging his head in four, four times. And they're like, that's not on tempo. He's just saying, hey.

Luciano (16:21.698)
Oh no, oh no! Ha ha ha! That's what that was. Ha ha.

Chris (16:27.082)
Yes he did.

Matt (16:30.955)
Oh.

Luciano (16:30.978)
Oh.

Matt (16:34.391)
Can't do that.

Hey, no, it's just nonsense. Can I ask you guys a question?

Luciano (16:37.506)
That doesn't mean anything. It's not on tempo. Yeah. Sure.

Spencer (16:42.98)
Please.

Chris (16:43.139)
Mmm.

Matt (16:45.356)
I don't know what Doctor Who's character was in Morbius, the evil Morbius if we will. How do you think he would have handled being on the ship with all the knocking and such? Morbius's mortal enemy.

Luciano (16:58.23)
Wait, Christopher Eccleston? Or... Oh, Matt Smith! Different doctor, sorry. Why he would...

Spencer (17:00.637)
No, no, Matt Smith.

Matt (17:00.885)
No, Matt Smith.

Yeah, it's alright.

Spencer (17:06.252)
He would have the answer to all the Dr. Hugh questions. He would have used his sonic screwdriver to what end? Who knows?

Luciano (17:11.542)
Hahaha!

Matt (17:11.947)
But- but-

Chris (17:12.866)
The sonics don't work on wood, sir.

Matt (17:14.739)
Yeah, they don't work. Get your head out of your ass.

Chris (17:17.459)
They don't work on wood, sir.

Spencer (17:17.873)
But that boat had so much sonic.

Matt (17:19.039)
He's currently, he's not a doctor. He's a Morbius. Morbi?

Chris (17:23.591)
Hmm?

Spencer (17:24.695)
Oh, if he was a Morbi?

Luciano (17:26.167)
More BI. More BI.

Chris (17:27.842)
Wait, we're asking what Jared Leto Morbius would do, the doctor Michael Morbius.

Luciano (17:32.338)
No, no, the friend, the friend. What was his name?

Spencer (17:32.64)
No, no, Matt Smith.

Matt (17:32.781)
No, no, cause he's good. Bleh. Yeah.

Chris (17:35.987)
Okay, what the friend would do? Ah. Yeah, something. We'll call him Forehead Toby. Forehead Toby. Okay, fine. What would he have done in this movie stock?

Luciano (17:39.818)
Whatever. Forehead. Five. We call him five head. Five head. Yeah.

Luciano (17:50.402)
With the knocking? He would have echolocated everybody in that book.

Matt (17:54.495)
This question is not that complicated. Just switch Dracula for Toby Fivehead.

Luciano (17:59.358)
It would be the same thing. It would do exactly the same thing that Dracula did because he was an asshole. Ha ha ha. Oh yeah, and do some pushups. He would do some pushups before killing people. Yeah.

Spencer (18:00.808)
No, except he would dance, except he would dance sexily. He would dance sexily on the ship. Tom.

Chris (18:03.595)
There would be more dancing. Correct. It's like... You all... you... look marvelous. Anna? Anna, Anna. Come join me at the... at the... at the stern.

Matt (18:05.163)
Ha ha ha!

Spencer (18:11.628)
That's obviously what would happen. But you just

Luciano (18:16.874)
Oh, he would definitely try to kind of sex Anna as he was killing people. Yeah, sex her. Yes, sex her good.

Spencer (18:21.392)
He would try and sex her. He tried to sex her hard. He'd sex her real good, like a real Jagavon.

Matt (18:27.007)
Real good.

Chris (18:33.875)
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Spencer (18:35.436)
But you just reminded me that the CGI of this creature looked like Morbius. That's an apt comparison. They're both bad.

Chris (18:44.147)
I think it was worse than Morbius.

Luciano (18:44.554)
No, I think it's worse. It's worse than Morbius.

Spencer (18:46.402)
It is worse than Morbius. That's saying something.

Chris (18:47.859)
to me. And like when the when the CG is this bad, you fall automatically fall into made for TV land, my brother. So this movie did not do it.

Luciano (18:49.863)
Yeah.

Matt (18:58.192)
Hmm. Is that an accurate cultural reference at this point? Well, like the term made for TV, right? Because like TV shows are real good, right?

Chris (19:01.892)
Cultural reference?

Luciano (19:01.927)
No, not anymore.

Spencer (19:03.693)
TV, yeah.

Luciano (19:05.822)
Yeah. And Netflix movies are real good too.

Chris (19:05.915)
Good. Made for TV. I didn't say... No, no, no. Here's the distinction. There's TV shows, there's shitty TV shows, and then there's adaptations into a TV movie. Made for TV.

Spencer (19:08.02)
Yeah, TV CGI is good.

Matt (19:19.787)
Chris, I need you to, for people who aren't, for Spencer's, if you will, for the young, you're using a term that we all understand because in the 80s and 90s, they made TV movies that were horrendous. Exactly. And so just give the people at home, give some context to how horrendous these things were and what they were structured like so they understand what you say, what you mean when you say made for TV movie.

Spencer (19:25.316)
Duh? Who me?

Chris (19:25.34)
Mm-hmm.

Luciano (19:25.366)
Hahaha! Dooooo! Hehehehe!

Chris (19:31.398)
Right.

Yes.

Luciano (19:35.202)
horrendous.

Spencer (19:35.593)
What's an 80?

Chris (19:49.583)
Yeah, what I mean by that are, take for example Stephen King. So Stephen King had, like you take any novelization or source material and it's either adapted well or it's done horribly. Stephen King's had good executions. Like one that comes to mind was the Langoliers where they're, and I found remembering, I know if I remembering correctly.

Luciano (20:08.685)
Hahaha.

Chris (20:15.803)
The world was coming to an end and people were trapped in an airport. Anyways, all I'm saying is good at adaptations, going straight, like direct to TV. And it's like, it airs on, on whatever channel you like instead of going straight to the movie theater or back then, um, not even like, like your blockbuster videos or whatever, it just goes straight to TV.

Spencer (20:19.66)
Don't need a synopsis, Chris.

Matt (20:22.401)
BOOM!

Luciano (20:42.154)
It's basically a movie that ends up being made with the budget of a potluck and looks exactly what you would think a movie with that budget would look like.

Spencer (20:42.2)
Oh, so like-

Chris (20:51.323)
Dean Cain made a lot of them motherfuckers. Dean Cain is the king of made for TV movies, period.

Spencer (20:51.353)
So like.

Dean Kang's racket. So it's like, it's like TikTok is what you're saying. Move along.

Luciano (20:54.915)
Hahaha!

Matt (21:02.743)
No. TikTok has a budget. I think everyone's just more confused than has a better understanding now, but it's fine. We tried some stuff and we're gonna...

Luciano (21:02.766)
No, it's way lower budget than TikTok. Yeah.

Chris (21:05.391)
Eugh.

Spencer (21:10.109)
Yeah, yeah, all I heard is all I hear is Langleers.

Luciano (21:11.143)
Our work here is done then.

Chris (21:14.019)
Yeah, man. Hear that. Try to unhear that.

Matt (21:14.163)
Yeah.

Yeah, we're going to move past that and back into the denominator. So we have Toby. That was a, that was a nice twist. No one saw coming and made the movie at least semi interesting. And they kind of did a good job of. You know, I don't know if it was like intentional, but like adjusting your expectations as soon as you think something's going to happen, it does. But it like, it doesn't, it happens kind of in a different way or weird way. Like you were like, Oh yeah, they're definitely not going to kill Toby. I think instantly killed Toby. So the first, first good chance they got, right. Um.

Chris (21:43.507)
Well they killed him.

Spencer (21:46.24)
Well, you know what Michael Scott said? If he had bin Laden, Hitler, and Toby in a room, he'd shoot Toby twice.

Luciano (21:53.842)
Jesus Christ.

Matt (21:56.169)
I mean, they have it folks. Did you guys see any other instances where you had an expectation of something that's going to happen and they kind of turned on that set?

Chris (21:56.487)
Mm.

Chris (22:06.055)
Yes, they did not kill, they did not kill my man Clements at all. I was like, man, like, not only is their representation, but

Luciano (22:10.754)
The black dude, yeah!

Luciano (22:19.144)
He was the scholar in there and he survived. Yeah.

Chris (22:20.995)
Yes, he was. I'm trying to really, I'm really trying to filter myself right now.

Luciano (22:29.296)
Don't! This is an adult show!

Spencer (22:30.008)
Be free.

Chris (22:31.235)
Listen, listen, my nigga was on the goddamn list. And I was like, I'll die clemency. Don't kill my boy. The boy is alerted man of science. And they go kill my nigga. No, don't. And then he lived. I'm like, he made it to the 10 minute mark? Wait, he saved Toby? They still gonna kill this nigga as soon as he gets to this first chapter. But they let him live? Not only that, he's the first motherfucker.

Matt (22:36.791)
Ha ha

Luciano (22:42.838)
Ha ha!

Chris (22:57.863)
to make it from the beginning of the movie to the end, let alone he's pursuing Dracula and Dracula is letting him chase him.

Spencer (23:04.192)
Hey, hey, you put some respect on LL Cool J's name, okay?

Luciano (23:04.994)
That was...

Spencer (23:10.924)
Not the first to survive. Not the first.

Luciano (23:11.158)
That honestly...

Chris (23:12.677)
Most people put milk in eggs thinking that it's going to stretch it. This is incorrect. They killed me. A shark ate me.

Luciano (23:17.598)
Honestly, that last part, that last part was the one that surprised me the most. I thought he was going to like when he was clear, he was going to escape the boat. I was like, dragon is going to find this guy and just going to finish him off. And that's going to be it. And he didn't. I was like, so very surprised. I think that was the biggest, even bigger than Toby, I'll be honest.

Chris (23:29.731)
I thought so too, but they-

Wink!

Spencer (23:34.828)
Well, they were trying to set up the Demeterverse with that sequel.

Luciano (23:39.298)
Oh god. Oh god. Yeah, there's a book. It's cut.

Matt (23:39.621)
Um, you know there's a book, right?

Chris (23:42.021)
Chapter 2 is the greatest stratagem of all time.

Spencer (23:43.761)
It's called the Demeterverse. I believe the book is called Bram, it's called Bram Stroker's Demeterverse.

Matt (23:46.009)
Uh, okay.

Spencer, I think it's a good time. Okay, interesting you used that person's name. I think it's time to discuss. Oh, okay. No, that's fine. Just throw in your serious question in the middle of my segue. Why?

Chris (23:53.959)
serious question though in relation to you. Your segue, I see your segue.

Luciano (23:59.554)
HAHAHAHA

Chris (24:01.838)
Bram Stoker's Dracula, is Clemens a legit character from the

Matt (24:06.059)
Wow, thank you for the fucking brutalist, simplest, it was actually would have been a good segue if you hadn't cut me off in my segue, but we're going to move past it. Great segue, Chris, and an excellent question. It's fun segue to answer your question, Chris. Bram Stoker's Dracula does not include a Clemens whatsoever. And it's interesting because, so Renfield, it does exist in the book.

Chris (24:13.436)
Well...

Spencer (24:14.7)
You leave the Segwaying to the Segway King.

Luciano (24:26.22)
Yeah.

Matt (24:32.447)
But Renfield in the movie is a composite of the main character from Bram Stoker's Dracula. You'll have to look up the name of Jack something. He ends up being a lawyer helping him try to buy a... Jonathan Hark... I think it's Jonathan Hark's, I think? No. No, no, no. I'm talking about the book. The book, Bram Stoker's Dracula. So the character Renfield actually exists. He's a patient at a... Well, the book would call it an insane asylum, and probably better words nowadays for what they are, but...

Luciano (24:42.517)
Jonathan?

Chris (24:43.635)
Jackathon?

Luciano (24:45.942)
Harks or something like that. Yeah. No, no, we're talking about the character of Renfield. Yeah.

Spencer (24:46.46)
Wait, was Renfield in this movie? Oh, yes, yes.

Matt (25:02.003)
And so Dracula actually uses him in the book. I'm not gonna go too far into it because I'll be talking about the book the entire time. But no Clemens, basically Jonathan and Van Helsing is also a person in the book. Van Helsing worked to kill him. And I think, yeah, that's basically the high level. Do you have any questions about things that happened in this movie? Because there's probably answers in the book that they just never told you because they're bad at creating story.

Luciano (25:23.612)
Yeah.

Like do you guys understand why there were so many crates of fucking dirt in them?

Matt (25:29.855)
Cough, cough.

Chris (25:31.279)
Yeah.

Spencer (25:32.212)
You know when someone says, oh, I like that, usually they'll say, oh, after watching that movie, it makes me wanna read the book. Usually you assume that's a good thing, but I'm getting that feeling in like a reverse way. Like this movie is bad. It's left so much that I don't understand that it makes me wanna read the book.

Luciano (25:42.658)
Hahaha!

Luciano (25:46.754)
I was like, it has to be better. It has to be better.

Matt (25:54.963)
Well, so the movie is based on one chapter of the book, again, pulling a hobbit, a stream hobbit, and the book, the chapter is just the logs from the captain. So that's why you see the captain sort of speaking his logs over the tone of the movie or cover the movie to give, give that feel.

Luciano (26:11.006)
I think the log they find at the end is actually quoted from the book, right? The beginning, sorry, when it says, may God have mercy on your soul and all that stuff.

Chris (26:11.155)
Mmm.

Chris (26:17.116)
Whoa.

Matt (26:17.543)
Yes, yeah, that stuff is actually accurate to the book. Yeah. And so that's kind of where it all comes from. So like, it's an interesting premise to actually play out what happens on the ship. And then from there we go to, as Chris called it, in Mifitubiland. So.

Spencer (26:18.604)
That's cool.

Chris (26:21.703)
Hmm.

Chris (26:33.884)
Mm-hmm. Mm.

Spencer (26:34.764)
Yeah. Now was in the books was Dracula a Morbii?

Luciano (26:36.235)
Yeah.

Matt (26:41.5)
Um, yes, technically he was. He was the original Morbius.

Luciano (26:42.322)
Hahaha!

Chris (26:45.947)
Mm-hm.

Spencer (26:46.156)
Like actually, like he was like a full on like man bat.

Luciano (26:46.414)
True.

Luciano (26:49.683)
Monster?

Matt (26:49.723)
No, they killed him. Nah, it was they, it killed him.

Spencer (26:52.544)
No, I know that, but like, was he a guy or was he like a giant?

Luciano (26:53.354)
No, no, but he doesn't look like a monster. He turns into a monster, but his regular appearance is not.

Chris (26:56.923)
be seen.

Matt (26:56.987)
Oh, he doesn't look like a monster. He was...

Spencer (27:01.67)
But how was.

Matt (27:03.815)
real high level, sorry, I just explained it, real high level. He is Batman-esque in the sense that he presents himself as a aristocrat, well-to-do person normally, and then at night he turns into a monster as he feeds on people to sustain his life.

Chris (27:19.763)
Hmm.

Spencer (27:20.52)
And how is the CGI in the book?

Chris (27:23.635)
Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe

Luciano (27:23.894)
It's pretty good, it's pretty good.

Matt (27:24.939)
Spot on. You know, honestly, sometimes the CGI in the book gets a little wonky. Some might say it's my brain isn't aging well. Hard to say. But yeah, and so like Luciano brought up the dirt thing. Luciano, do you want to explain the dirt thing? Because it actually is a useful piece of information towards Dracula himself.

Spencer (27:29.864)
It hasn't aged well. Yeah. Oh no.

Luciano (27:43.938)
So I know a little bit of it, but you read the book, seems like a lot more recently than I did, but I know it is like, he needs that dirt. He needs that dirt.

Chris (27:44.979)
Please do.

Matt (27:51.145)
No.

Chris (27:52.295)
Really?

Spencer (27:52.74)
Should we preface by saying, because I was wondering this as well, like in the movie, in the cargo, they open up all those crates and they're filled with dirt and they make a point of being like, it's just dirt. Why would he have this? And they never explain it.

Chris (27:56.879)
I was confused.

Luciano (27:56.969)
Okay.

Luciano (28:05.214)
And it's not just one crate, it's a bunch of crates. Yeah. He needs to sleep. He needs to sleep during the day in his homeland's soil, basically, yeah. And so they're bringing all of that soil so that they can put it in, I think it's in the basement of the castle that he goes to, so that he can sleep on there, yeah. Otherwise he doesn't rest. He doesn't, there's some shit that happens with him if he doesn't.

Chris (28:05.518)
Why?

Right. What the fuck?

Matt (28:15.895)
Correct. Yes.

Chris (28:16.383)
Oh...

Matt (28:23.691)
Oh yeah.

Chris (28:24.191)
Huh?

Spencer (28:26.636)
That's cool.

Spencer (28:30.612)
He doesn't he doesn't get REM sleep when he does. He's a little grumpy. He's grumpy when he wakes up. He does. Yeah.

Luciano (28:34.002)
Yeah, it's just light sleep.

Matt (28:35.151)
Yeah, it's a little crankers if you will. No, no big deal.

Chris (28:40.275)
It sounds to me like Dracula has sleep apnea and needs a... Oh, no! Ugh!

Matt (28:43.647)
hate me, Mike. Ha ha ha. Ha!

Spencer (28:44.92)
Hehehe

Luciano (28:46.054)
And I know that there's another thing with the reason that Anna is in the soil as well, is because he can do some like magic shit when it's with the soil of his homeland as well.

Matt (29:01.435)
Not not really covered in the book. Um in so it in the book the

Spencer (29:02.907)
What a great explanation. He could do magic shit with it.

Luciano (29:06.526)
What? Listen, look at this movie!

Chris (29:07.975)
David Blaine.

Spencer (29:10.845)
more than they gave us, so I'll take it.

Chris (29:11.003)
Mindfreak.

Matt (29:13.883)
In the book, the way they kill Dracula is they find all the... Whatever man. Um... Yeah.

Spencer (29:17.957)
Spoilers.

Luciano (29:21.286)
187 years old book or something like that

Chris (29:24.101)
Yeah.

Spencer (29:24.669)
Some people haven't gotten around to it, okay? It hasn't passed the allotted time.

Matt (29:26.805)
Well...

Chris (29:28.112)
If it wasn't on the gram, it didn't happen.

Matt (29:31.159)
If you haven't read the book, plug your ears and I will tell you what happens. Spencer is actively plugging his ears in the book. They go around looking for all of the, you know, coffins of dirt they bring with Dracula and sanctify it all so he can no longer use it and sleep in it. And they basically chase him back to his homeland and chop off his head and, you know, do all those fun things to kill.

Luciano (29:34.835)
Yeah, 100.

Spencer (29:39.672)
He did it.

Chris (29:50.407)
Oh!

Luciano (29:56.436)
They do, yeah, no, they're really extra about it in the book. They chop off his head, they dismember him, and they send the limbs in different directions or something like that. It's really, really extra.

Spencer (30:05.388)
That's not extra, that's right, that's right. That's how you kill a vampire.

Matt (30:05.549)
Yep.

Chris (30:05.557)
That's what you do.

Matt (30:10.571)
Proper, yeah, that's the bare minimum. Anyways, to tie this back to the Demeter, it's a throw-in to, it's a throw-in callback? I guess it's a callback to the book.

Luciano (30:13.131)
Yeah.

Chris (30:13.166)
That's respect.

Spencer (30:14.348)
Then you eat it.

Chris (30:21.531)
Throwback? Oh, I'm sorry.

Luciano (30:22.334)
Cobb, I throwback. Let's go with that.

Matt (30:24.199)
A throwback to the book that if you know about the stories, you make connections to it. But it's a little weird because it's so, it's not a throwaway line in the movie. It's like something that is like said in frame and in a way where you, it's like you expect it to be something in the movie.

Luciano (30:29.012)
Yeah.

Spencer (30:35.797)
and point it out, yeah.

Luciano (30:37.748)
and

Yeah, they did a good job too, which was surprising given this book, this movie, of, you know, kind of, at least for me, justifying why Dracula kind of woke up and started on the rampage because of taking Anna out of the coffin where she was and blah blah. When I saw that happening, I was like, oh, this is going to be a good story. I was wrong, but that's what I thought.

Chris (30:41.778)
Hmm.

Chris (30:59.043)
Hmm.

Spencer (31:05.204)
So you're saying it was you like that they explained that I did not understand any of that and I have a bad brain. So I don't know if it's my bad brain or the bad movie. They can be true concordantly.

Luciano (31:12.466)
Yeah, that's bad. Well, I mean, both of those things are true. Yes.

Chris (31:12.787)
same.

Matt (31:16.576)
No

Chris (31:16.739)
I was confused.

I was confused. I was confused and here's why. Anna's crate was broken open. They extracted her. OK, fine. Dracula is, from that point forward, we've seen skulking and getting ready and praying. Praying is targets, right? But.

How was Jar-Gracula in the same crate? I feel like the answer is no. First question, great. Yes, and here's, here's... Listen, or please. It's a... Yo.

Luciano (31:43.654)
No, he wasn't. Ha ha ha!

Matt (31:43.915)
Chris did you watch this movie?

Spencer (31:45.876)
No, don't you do that to him. Don't I watched it with my brain.

Matt (31:48.055)
Okay. Did you watch this movie, Spencer?

Luciano (31:54.657)
No, the crate where Dracula was marked differently.

Chris (31:58.319)
marked differently, right, with the huge sigil and the fucking Rubik's Cube corners, is that right? So was Dracula just using his magic to mist out? Because they opened, thank you. Cause I'm like, why are they opening this now?

Luciano (32:04.554)
You risk your puzzle? Yeah, yeah. Ha ha ha!

Matt (32:05.331)
Yep.

Luciano (32:10.378)
Yeah, yes, yes.

Spencer (32:12.524)
Wait, he turns to mist?

Matt (32:15.175)
Well, they don't show you this, so... Do they?

Luciano (32:17.184)
They do, at the end they do. There's a bunch of myths there. Yeah, that was him. It should... No, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not. It's his power. But they don't, but they don't, they don't show it well. They don't show it well.

Spencer (32:18.048)
Oh, wow. No, there's just mist around the ship. That doesn't mean it's him. Yeah, yeah. You're saying he was the whole ocean fog? That was going for miles.

Matt (32:24.064)
That's a ship in a foggy ocean.

Matt (32:33.527)
Okay, so, okay, when you say they don't show it well, I didn't see it at all. So, how did they show it? I didn't, clearly.

Chris (32:35.214)
See what's happening?

Spencer (32:36.26)
Do you mean... do you mean they don't show it? Period?

Luciano (32:38.086)
Really? I was... I...

Chris (32:40.079)
Matt, did you watch this movie?

Luciano (32:44.441)
I was like, oh, they're going to show that power too, right? Because it's

Matt (32:47.655)
No, but like you play too many like Dracula based games and so you instinctively know he has this power But did they show him poop it out while farting out? fog Yeah, so I just

Luciano (32:51.086)
True, that is true. Yeah, I know. Not, no. Becoming a fart and then unfarting himself, no, they don't. You're right, you're right. I'm giving, I'm giving this, I'm cutting this movie too much slack is what you're saying. And that's fair, that's fair.

Chris (32:58.631)
himself? Right. That was confusing for me because I thought he was in the crate and then was he projecting himself? Oh, I'm like, is he astral projecting himself and wreaking havoc on this boat?

Spencer (33:01.964)
The more I wa-

Luciano (33:13.294)
That's actually also another power that he can... Fuck it. I'm not... Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Spencer (33:15.716)
That would be cooler. That would have been cooler. The more I learn about this Dracula, the more I realize it's just ripping off Morbius and I'm kind of annoyed. Kind of, because Morbius could fart gas. I mean, I guess we could all fart gas, but he could fart mist and turn into mist.

Matt (33:16.691)
Fuck you.

Chris (33:17.123)
Yo, yo, I would have appreciated that.

Matt (33:28.499)
Upset? Yeah.

Chris (33:31.287)
Let it happen. Blah!

Luciano (33:35.242)
Yeah. He can become farts, right? That's the impressive thing.

Chris (33:42.059)
Mr. Volchek is that methane? Sorry, sorry. That wasn't me.

Luciano (33:47.614)
That was it. That wasn't me. It was all the cabbage I ate Yeah So I

Spencer (33:50.677)
That's Dracula.

Chris (33:54.139)
Or if Anna was white with a stick of lemons, he's like, he's here. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm just kidding. That's, that's not you. I know this. I know this evil.

Spencer (34:00.367)
No, no, that was me, sorry.

Luciano (34:04.undefined)
I can feel the musk.

Spencer (34:08.292)
Did somebody fart in here? No, no, that's just Dracula's mist form. You say that every time.

Chris (34:13.087)
Anna, did you break wind in my presence? I revived you. No, this evil, this evil, this evil doesn't leave you.

Luciano (34:13.121)
Yeah.

Luciano (34:16.44)
BREAKWIND!

Spencer (34:19.001)
You know what? He's right. It's a long time ago.

Luciano (34:26.889)
Yeah.

Chris (34:28.081)
The eagle is here! The eagle is...

Spencer (34:29.836)
Yeah

Luciano (34:33.987)
He ran with it.

Chris (34:35.543)
Why Mr. Clevett?

Matt (34:38.021)
Are we done with the bit? No? Okay, continue. Well, the CGI is top notch. That's great, going well. Okay, so we've talked about this movie. It seems like we didn't, I'm not gonna say we didn't enjoy it, but we have some major concerns about the way it's progressing currently. So let's...

Chris (34:39.291)
We're never done with the thing. Cause that shit don't quit. Ha ha ha.

Spencer (34:39.828)
No, no, I'd rather watch this movie.

Luciano (34:43.794)
When are we ever done with the bit?

Spencer (34:45.621)
Yeah, this guy's incredible

Chris (34:47.411)
Thank you.

Chris (34:54.735)
Watch the movie.

Spencer (35:03.032)
Some say qualms.

Matt (35:04.811)
qualms might. Let's start with some of the plot holes, a little more expansive conversation. The first one I think came to our minds and it kind of is both integral and immaterial to the movie at the same time. But I'll ask the question anyways. Chris, your boy Dr. Clemens, is he a wizard because how the fuck does medicine work in the 19th century?

Luciano (35:05.27)
coms, yeah.

Chris (35:10.321)
Mm.

Luciano (35:27.802)
Hahaha!

Chris (35:33.215)
you gotta know when to hold them and know when to fold them.

Matt (35:36.103)
Mm-hmm. What about walking away or running?

Spencer (35:37.588)
Done and done. Checkmate.

Chris (35:39.283)
Clemens doesn't walk away. He's like I just I got a thing for brunettes. Mr. Volchek. Okay, listen It's just it's gonna be I want to I need to I need the world to make sense And right now the world just made a whole about a about a hundred and thirty five pounds soaking wet more sense my man I'm picking up whatever and volchek's like throw her overboard and he's like listen I've been I've trained at the Royal Academy or whatever it was and

My sob story, blah, but looky here.

Luciano (36:10.767)
My loins have needs.

Spencer (36:12.639)
I'm sorry.

Chris (36:12.807)
My loins are burning. Okay.

Spencer (36:15.076)
The last voyage of this dick!

Matt (36:17.389)
Ha ha.

Luciano (36:20.034)
Basically.

Chris (36:20.535)
So I'm about to sink this ship in them walls. Anyways. So yeah, medicine. The man is a man of principles and point blank, see someone in need and logic be damned? Like logic be damned? Wait, how does medicine work? You-

Luciano (36:23.158)
Hahaha! Uh...

Matt (36:24.444)
Oh, dude, but we're here.

Thank you.

Spencer (36:38.313)
Logic be damned.

Matt (36:39.007)
You're you're losing you're losing you're losing the tenor of the question How does medicine work is the question you're explaining to me how he works as a medicine man. I don't care about that

Luciano (36:39.987)
Are you saying? Wait, wait, wait. Are you?

Yeah.

Spencer (36:44.196)
Ha ha

Chris (36:49.987)
Right, yes. Listen, Dr. Quinn and this medicine man or woman, you do something good. You do something good and nothing and it doesn't come back to bite you in the ass. Like, shouldn't he have been infected as well, giving that transfusion at first? I don't know.

Luciano (36:50.628)
I put, I put, I put, Madison Mann! How do you work, you Madison Mann? Ha ha!

Spencer (37:01.092)
I'm gonna give you some of my fluids. Ha ha ha.

Spencer (37:12.248)
I got a prescription.

Matt (37:12.799)
Hey... Excuse me? Witness, answer the damn question!

Luciano (37:14.394)
He doesn't...

Spencer (37:16.698)
Hahaha

Chris (37:19.031)
Medicine works as such. Cause and effect.

Spencer (37:21.132)
I'll allow it.

Matt (37:23.219)
You're not the judge.

Luciano (37:25.596)
This is how medicine works. Medicine works like this. It's Leviosa, not Levyo-sah. That's how it works. Yeah. Exactly.

Spencer (37:26.936)
Sustained!

Chris (37:32.576)
Oh, swish and flick. Swish and flick.

Spencer (37:35.508)
Listen, everybody knows that blood types wasn't discovered until early 19th century.

Luciano (37:42.14)
It's a suggestion. It's just a suggestion.

Matt (37:48.981)
Okay, I'm looking it up. You keep, you keep vamping.

Chris (37:49.075)
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Luciano (37:51.326)
You know, wait, you know this is set in the 19th century, right?

Spencer (37:51.593)
I, please do. So before, yeah, but this is earlier in the 19th century. No, listen, that's just like your opinion, man. Who says 1897 isn't early? It's the... Oh.

Luciano (37:58.635)
No, this is late! It's 1897! Did you watch this movie?

Chris (37:59.026)
Yeah.

Chris (38:06.859)
Let the man cook. I say.

Matt (38:10.399)
You know what? Okay, I hate to do this because I like to see when Spencer's wrong. But he's almost right. We found out about blood types in 1901.

Luciano (38:14.584)
HAHAHA

Spencer (38:17.993)
Oh!

Luciano (38:21.908)
in yeah so the 20th century not the 19th

Spencer (38:22.273)
Wow. Her lie- Oh f-

Matt (38:23.627)
But it's like, it's basically the 19th century. Like it's one year over. In the terms of centuries, like it's real close. He threaded this needle somehow through sheer idiocy.

Chris (38:24.551)
Yo! This is...

Luciano (38:28.167)
Yeah.

Spencer (38:28.167)
Yeah, yeah.

And everybody gets confused when you say 19th, it sounds like the 1900s, but... ..

Luciano (38:31.831)
Okay.

Luciano (38:35.81)
Fair, fair. That's fair. Ha ha ha.

Chris (38:38.168)
You see, this is the most gallant, that's right, from the three point line. Spencer completely price is righted this and succeeded.

Spencer (38:39.462)
Koby!

Spencer (38:43.341)
Nailed it.

Luciano (38:46.622)
He fumbled, he fumbled, tripped, the ball hit his head and he had a three point shot.

Spencer (38:52.48)
nailed it. So because as I said before, because blood types wouldn't be discovered for another four years, which is what I said, they don't matter. Because if you don't know it, it's not illegal. So when he gave his blood, or when he charge as I should state more correctly, as he gave the woman his fluids.

Chris (38:54.679)
Don't you besmirch the Hail Mary? That had some sheen to it.

Luciano (39:03.834)
they don't they don't they don't work yeah that makes sense

Chris (39:04.391)
Thank you.

Chris (39:10.076)
Just like facts.

Luciano (39:11.692)
Yep.

Chris (39:16.294)
That blood.

Luciano (39:20.782)
Fluids. Yeah.

Chris (39:22.431)
Life nectar. Well, I was gonna say life nectar, but you do, you do you.

Spencer (39:22.816)
as he gave him his seed. No, blood isn't seed. Ha ha ha.

Luciano (39:25.958)
No, no, no. Hey, hey, Matt, while you're...

Matt (39:26.993)
Now, that seems too far.

Spencer (39:31.316)
As he gave her, hold on, as he gave her his living cells in liquid form, thank, that's, oh my God, that was right there and I missed it. When he gave her his DNA, his fluids are so potent that, not only can he save her, he can do, live a whole day.

Chris (39:38.407)
What are midi-chlorians?

Luciano (39:39.636)
His DNA. He gave her his DNA.

Luciano (39:44.69)
Yeah. Ha ha ha.

Matt (39:44.811)
Are you done yet?

Chris (39:54.521)
Mm.

Matt (39:55.767)
Um, excuse me, sir. He did not save her. I don't know if you've watched this movie. There you go.

Luciano (39:57.128)
Every day.

Spencer (40:00.249)
Sorry, he postponed her death. Not only can it correct blood loss, it can also deter virus of Dracula and-

Luciano (40:00.318)
Well, he postponed it, but he was doing it every day.

Luciano (40:12.076)
Yeah.

Matt (40:12.959)
First of all, he wasn't correcting blood loss at all. He was just curing the virus by transfusing blood into a body without actually taking any out, which is more like dialysis, I think.

Luciano (40:17.719)
Yeah.

Luciano (40:21.043)
That's what I was gonna ask, can you look up when dialysis was invented?

Spencer (40:25.028)
Hehehehe

Matt (40:25.399)
All right, I'm on it.

Chris (40:27.155)
dialysis was invented in the 18th mmm

Spencer (40:29.76)
Listen, everybody knows you can't have too much blood. That's just science. The more blood you have, the more powerful you are.

Luciano (40:34.058)
right i see you can't you can't over stuff an oreo is what you're saying uh oh uh oh uh oh

Matt (40:39.669)
The late 1930s was dialysis. He was a genius doctor.

Spencer (40:43.109)
Oooooooops!

Chris (40:45.633)
Mm. He was ahead of his time. A maverick, if you will.

Spencer (40:48.892)
Maybe he was the one who invented it, and he was perfecting it.

Luciano (40:49.382)
A genius wizard. Oh, I see.

Chris (40:53.139)
Bye!

Matt (40:54.159)
If his name is Dr. Willem Kolf, then yeah.

Spencer (40:56.96)
Which I think it was. Ha ha.

Chris (40:57.267)
See? Listen, when you like, you know why, and that makes a lot of sense because when, oh shit! No! Don't paint me in this corner. How the fuck am I supposed to box my way out? God damn.

Luciano (40:57.834)
There's, there's a C in the name.

Matt (41:02.387)
It's a K. Ha ha ha.

Luciano (41:03.235)
I knew it, I fucking knew it! Hahaha!

Spencer (41:05.292)
Hehehe

Matt (41:08.07)
but

Matt (41:12.095)
Just okay.

Spencer (41:12.188)
How many K's in coal?

Luciano (41:14.652)
Yeah, I was gonna say, I few imagine. Two at least. Oh no.

Matt (41:16.528)
He's Dutch, so...

Yeah, minimum, minimum two. I, I'll look them up. I'll let you know. Continue vamping on how medicine works in this world, please. Did you? Cause I don't remember hearing an answer.

Chris (41:20.147)
Chocolate Dutch?

Spencer (41:24.12)
The Good Dutch.

Chris (41:26.227)
Chocolate? That's... Oh, we answered that thoroughly.

Luciano (41:29.214)
Yeah, I...

Spencer (41:29.31)
Um.

Thoroughly.

Luciano (41:32.67)
And also, I guess, I think it's funny that he's such a wizard medicine man, but like he looked, he took one look at Anna. He's like, her blood is infected. I have to give her my own DNA and fluid so that she will be saved. But then when, but then when O'Garen, yeah, he did. Yeah, he did. That's exactly what he did. Did you watch this movie?

Chris (41:33.587)
Starlet!

Spencer (41:47.36)
No, he didn't give it to her because she was infected.

Matt (41:51.444)
Yes, yes he did.

Spencer (41:54.452)
No, hold on. Just give me a second. Infected with Dracula or infected with something else?

Matt (41:56.393)
Okay?

Chris (41:57.863)
Hmm?

Luciano (42:01.022)
Yeah, Dracula.

Matt (42:01.951)
Just, he just said infected. He didn't know what, correct. Okay, Spencer, you look infected to me. You got your blood checks regularly? Ha ha ha. Ah. Ha ha ha.

Chris (42:02.171)
He said, well, he didn't know it was a Dracula infection. Yeah, he just said.

Spencer (42:04.404)
Yeah, he didn't know Dracula, like, he didn't know, uh, Dracula's.

Luciano (42:07.006)
Yeah, but he wouldn't... That's worse! That's worse!

Chris (42:07.783)
You did not know.

Luciano (42:15.082)
Hahaha!

Spencer (42:15.253)
I do. I have it all. I said, what do I got doctor? He said, yes.

Chris (42:20.069)
You've got the demon! The demon is upon you! Hehehehe

Luciano (42:22.251)
Yeah, doctor. What is it that I have? Yes.

Spencer (42:25.429)
Yes.

Matt (42:26.672)
Hey Chris, I just want to answer your previous question about if Dr. Culf is chocolate Dutch. He's white chocolate Dutch.

Chris (42:29.511)
Yeah, yes. Proceed. Oh, I see, I see, I see.

Spencer (42:34.244)
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Luciano (42:34.41)
Oh no, oh no. Coconut pudding. Oh no. Yeah. But so I was, I found it weird that he could look at Anna like one second he was like she needs my fluids otherwise she's gonna die. But then

Matt (42:36.775)
Probably hold the chocolate. He looks a little anti-chocolate

Chris (42:40.531)
Okay, well I can't box out of that. Okay, I'll switch trains if you don't mind.

Chris (42:51.677)
Well...

Spencer (42:53.252)
Shoot your shot.

Chris (42:55.259)
See?

Matt (42:56.272)
We covered that already.

Luciano (42:58.55)
What, are we dead? The h-

Spencer (42:59.5)
Not about not.

Matt (42:59.655)
Yeah, he was learning about the universe and the power of white women, and he wasn't interested in the power of white men.

Luciano (43:04.163)
Oh, so I see. So he's, he was a learned man, but he had specialties is what you're saying.

Spencer (43:06.84)
That's true. That's true. No, no, I believe in the movie, he said I could give him my fluids, but I'm not gay. I think that line was in the movie.

Chris (43:09.33)
He was...

Matt (43:13.175)
Mm-hmm.

Luciano (43:20.385)
Yeah, that line is in the movie. Enshrined in text, yes.

Chris (43:21.18)
I'm not going out like that.

Matt (43:22.425)
You know what?

Chris (43:25.459)
the

Matt (43:25.615)
I'm pretty sure the Russian sailor would have said that about him, so that's fine.

Spencer (43:27.772)
Yeah, he said, not that there's anything wrong with that.

Luciano (43:28.5)
He would have.

Matt (43:30.765)
No, he would not have said that. He-

Luciano (43:31.103)
No, he would not.

Chris (43:32.832)
You lay with another man? Like, uh, that's not how it works. That's not how medicine works, bro. Why don't you go peel your pear and sit in your corner?

Matt (43:36.095)
haha

Spencer (43:39.947)
Yeah!

Matt (43:40.139)
To... He... Yeah, the Russian guy said... Well, he was just misogynistic and that's pretty commonplace, but he also was extremely racist to the doctor. Also commonplace. But like, yeah, Darky Savage was the term he used. Which is like, to me that felt more extremely racist than being like, oh, women are a curse on ships. Now they say it out loud. That's not great either.

Luciano (43:49.394)
Yeah.

Chris (43:49.747)
Mm-hmm. We call them a dirt.

Spencer (43:50.024)
Also commonplace.

Luciano (43:54.378)
Yeah, yeah, he did. Yeah, yes. Yeah.

Chris (43:57.331)
Fuck. Yeah. Fightin' words.

Luciano (44:05.81)
It's not, but it was, he was superstitious like sailors are, right? But the, like the race comment was just purely like, no, I'm a dick. Like it doesn't, it doesn't.

Chris (44:06.735)
Well, you're not saying that the character said that. I know you're not saying that.

Matt (44:09.235)
Yeah, yeah, but just, thank you.

Chris (44:15.25)
Hmm.

Spencer (44:18.612)
As sailors are.

Matt (44:19.915)
Sorry Luciano, I need to drill into this for a second. So sailors are standardly misogynistic, but not standardly racist because unlike this movie, I don't think people were too cool with other races in the 19th century. I think there's a lot of sleeve trading going on boats, if I'm not mistaken.

Spencer (44:24.888)
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

Luciano (44:28.619)
I don't know. I don't.

Chris (44:28.979)
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Luciano (44:34.714)
They were not.

Luciano (44:39.648)
Yeah.

Chris (44:40.083)
The tone didn't strike, I mean the time period makes sense, but it didn't seem to reach that boat.

Luciano (44:43.366)
Which honestly is something that I thought was strange like in this movie to yeah exactly like that just the one I thought everybody fair any

Spencer (44:47.394)
was how non-racist everyone else was.

Chris (44:51.111)
Well there was one racist.

Matt (44:51.231)
Hmm. Yeah. He was carrying the load for most of the ship.

Spencer (44:52.608)
No, that which is which is just.

Chris (44:56.711)
Yeah.

Spencer (44:56.752)
Yeah, that's true. If that movie, if the movie was made today, that one would be probably the average. But back then it would be this movie. No, I'm sorry, not made today. The story took place today.

Matt (45:02.208)
Sorry, what movie? This movie was made today.

Matt (45:10.159)
Okay. Yeah. Thank you.

Chris (45:10.983)
If we had a cruise ship called the Demeter and there were several draconian sigil bearing crates on this cruise ship bound for Bermuda, the Seychelles, Greece, and Transylvania, we would have one... I don't know if it was made today on the cruise ship. We would have one... Who would it be?

Matt (45:19.517)
Yeah.

Matt (45:23.849)
Mm-hmm.

Luciano (45:24.418)
Hahaha

Luciano (45:29.59)
Is this a cruise ship?

Matt (45:31.487)
Yes.

Chris (45:37.723)
The first mate, the first mate would be the one, let's make him the one who would be like, women are terrible omen. And they're like, what? Barry, Barry? Barry Fritrowski.

Spencer (45:47.605)
Sir, this is a cruise ship. It's a Disney cruise line

Luciano (45:48.202)
Wait, and he would also, yeah, and he would also be Russian? Barry Petrovsky, that's his name? Ha ha.

Spencer (45:54.564)
Still Russian.

Matt (45:55.155)
Yeah, obviously. What? Barry Sietrowski is great.

I think this makes sense at least the cruise ship would obviously have HR on it though So you would have to file a complaint and you'd be able to be on the ship for a long time while the complaint works Its way through because no one actually do anything about him

Chris (46:11.611)
just distant scowling as you cross each other on the decks.

Spencer (46:13.004)
Well yeah, I mean...

Matt (46:14.48)
Yeah.

Luciano (46:16.091)
Yeah, some cold shoulders.

Spencer (46:16.64)
Listen, much like this ship, I assume the cruise line only has 8-9 staff? That's all you need.

Luciano (46:25.138)
Yeah, and they communicate by banging the rails as well.

Matt (46:25.352)
So you need...

Chris (46:25.655)
Well, is that all you need?

Matt (46:29.503)
Definitely.

Spencer (46:30.438)
That's how you communicate on the cruise line.

Chris (46:31.695)
Everyone's working on their mid-shape.

Matt (46:32.659)
Hey, sorry you guys called. Oh, oh, you're just having sex. Okay, my bad, sorry, I'll just stay and watch.

Luciano (46:36.65)
Hahaha!

Spencer (46:37.324)
I'll just stand here. Yeah, I'll just, I'll just sit in the corner.

Chris (46:37.573)
No. Oh, oh, you guys called? Did you call me? Someone hungry? I just came from the galley. Oh, no, you're just working on? Oh, no, I'm sorry. Oh, you're just making your mixtape. Oh, oh, okay.

Luciano (46:42.122)
I'll just, oh you're having sex? I'm sorry, I'll just sit down and watch. I mean, I'll leave. Ha ha ha.

Spencer (46:46.218)
I'll eat this for you.

Matt (46:50.517)
Yeah, lots of mishaps on the double knock on the cruise ship.

Chris (46:51.025)
World start.

Spencer (46:54.232)
Hehehe

Luciano (46:54.27)
Yeah.

Chris (46:55.571)
you're practicing your so show you show you karate oh okay

Spencer (47:01.06)
Two knocks is help, two and a half is I'm baitin'.

Matt (47:01.483)
Chris.

Luciano (47:05.251)
Hahaha!

Matt (47:07.773)
Yeah.

Chris (47:07.947)
Ah boy, ah boy, I say.

Luciano (47:09.289)
Three is I'm done.

Matt (47:11.007)
Back to...

Spencer (47:12.385)
Yeah, the real question is how to do a half knock. Yeah, exactly. Clearly, you've never worked on a boat.

Matt (47:17.352)
If you know, you know, don't trust me.

Luciano (47:18.49)
Yeah, it's part of knowing the job. You have to know the job. Oh no!

Chris (47:22.328)
David Carradine.

Spencer (47:23.476)
Get a little... Too far. I don't know.

Matt (47:24.075)
Uh, wow. I don't think he got the half knockout, that's why he didn't make it. Uh, we've talked about medicine enough because we've drifted into David Carradine's death, which is a little old in terms of when it happened. And look it up, we're not telling you about it. Next plot hole question.

Chris (47:27.053)
How is it too far? The man is...

Luciano (47:31.687)
Exactly.

Spencer (47:31.746)
Yeah, oh!

Chris (47:33.843)
I don't know these terminologies.

Chris (47:44.075)
Nah. You do that on your browser timeline.

Luciano (47:44.29)
Hahaha.

Luciano (47:49.278)
I mean, Cognito, hopefully.

Spencer (47:52.768)
Next question. Yeah, we're ready.

Matt (47:53.799)
Oh you guys are ready now? Thank you.

Luciano (47:54.35)
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

Chris (47:55.171)
Oh, we're big ready. Try to create space for you.

Matt (47:58.271)
by talking? That's the best way to make spaces. Clear wide berth by talking forever. Thank you. How should they have killed Dracula in this movie? Because they didn't and I understand that it's because it's a Demeter thing. But they didn't even try hard. Right?

Spencer (47:59.041)
Hehehe

Luciano (47:59.218)
Yes. Isn't that how space works?

Chris (47:59.948)
Lovingly!

Chris (48:08.819)
Crazy. Ooh.

Spencer (48:17.413)
They did a very poor job.

Luciano (48:18.73)
What do you mean? That was one guy with one axe trying to do one thing?

Chris (48:20.007)
What did they try?

Yeah?

Spencer (48:23.618)
And...

Matt (48:23.939)
So the guy with the axe was, they were gonna sink the boat. Yeah, Vojchek was gonna sink the boat while they battled Dracula on the deck, I guess, to distract him. And so he was gonna chop one hole, maybe two. It was a very thick boat and a very small axe. And based on how fast the ship ran ashore,

Chris (48:26.567)
Volchek, yeah, first mate.

Luciano (48:26.722)
Yes.

Chris (48:31.067)
Mm-hmm. It's going to be me.

Luciano (48:36.374)
The deck. Yeah.

Chris (48:45.415)
True. Yeah, man. That's a small ax.

Matt (48:53.055)
Did they, like I guess the captain was gonna steer it away from the shore and then he got, he got did.

Chris (48:56.967)
He wanted to. Back out to sea.

Luciano (48:57.438)
Yeah, he got dead.

Spencer (48:58.688)
He got killed and then tied to the wheel for some reason. Oh, he did?

Matt (49:01.929)
Well, he tied himself to the wheel, but I did not know he tied himself to the wheel backwards. I thought he was like behind the wheel and tied it to him.

Chris (49:02.717)
He tied himself.

Luciano (49:03.692)
Yeah.

Spencer (49:07.737)
Yeah, what was that? Talk about a Christ complex

Chris (49:09.275)
That's what- that's what- that's what fourth degree burns will do to your mind!

Matt (49:13.572)
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

Luciano (49:14.622)
And he tied himself to the wheel and that did absolutely nothing.

Matt (49:20.191)
Well, it helped him get killed faster, I assume.

Spencer (49:21.636)
Didn't they already have a pulley system where ropes could be tied to the wheel to hold it in place?

Luciano (49:24.827)
Yeah!

Chris (49:25.587)
This is true.

Matt (49:26.6)
So, I have a beef here because they only ever put one thing on the wheel. Does the wheel only pull one way? Because if it ever turned the other way, the thing would fall off and the boat would just go right.

Luciano (49:29.99)
Yeah, and that does nothing. Yeah. Yeah, that's true. It's like, no, I just need one. That's what they, that's what they told me. You just need the one.

Spencer (49:31.216)
I know.

Chris (49:31.283)
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Spencer (49:37.792)
Listen, wheels only go one way.

Chris (49:38.099)
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Spencer (49:46.344)
Everyone knows wheels only go right in North America and left in Australia.

Luciano (49:50.775)
There you go.

Matt (49:51.841)
Spencer? You know this is on water, correct?

Spencer (49:52.514)
Yes.

Chris (49:58.035)
BWAH-RUH? Pfft.

Spencer (49:58.889)
Arrrr, butter!

Luciano (49:59.281)
Yeah, but they were in the northern hemisphere, so that still works.

Matt (50:05.485)
What wheel, where are the wheel, boat wheels?

Luciano (50:08.49)
What? None of this makes sense, Matt! What are you... Why are you trying to make this make sense?

Chris (50:09.388)
What is this? What? What if? You tie off! You tie off!

Spencer (50:10.336)
What? I don't know what you're asking me. Okay. I'm too dumb for your traps. I'm too dumb to fall for traps.

Matt (50:10.839)
Spencer.

Chris (50:17.179)
It's fine!

Matt (50:17.328)
This is called the trap and you're all saving Spencer from it for some reason

Luciano (50:19.127)
Hahaha!

Chris (50:20.28)
No it's not! Oh well, still. No man left behind!

Luciano (50:25.889)
Yeah.

Matt (50:26.315)
That's true. Anyways back to the plan. I think we can come up with something a little better to kill Dracula. Well, their plan was to stop Dracula from making it to London. Killing him I guess could be part of your plan. The plan is Dracula cannot make landfall. How are you gonna kill, make this plan happen? Yeah, that's her. Go ahead.

Spencer (50:28.548)
I'm gonna go to bed.

Chris (50:31.619)
plant or the trap. Yes.

Spencer (50:43.012)
Good night.

Chris (50:46.833)
you

Spencer (50:46.848)
I just want to say before we explain the right way to do it, this movie, well, one, it faked me out because I don't know if you noticed at the beginning of the movie, they're like, there are 10 barrels of petroleum on the ship. And I was like, Oh, it's like check off petroleum. They're going to use that to sink the ship, but they never do. Instead, we're going to use a single X into the six foot hall and, um, fail at night. And then also

Luciano (50:59.736)
Hahaha!

Matt (51:01.736)
Maybe.

Luciano (51:07.278)
Hehehehe

Luciano (51:12.886)
At night. At night. Yeah.

Spencer (51:17.152)
at the end they're like, first thing we're going to do is lock up the lower area so he can only get out one way. And I was like, wait, lock up the that should have been the first thing you did. And it should have been done on all ways of getting out of the lower instead of like forcing him out one way that didn't even end up mattering. He just was there. So why? Why did they even try to lock him in there? Well, we're gonna get into that.

Luciano (51:38.402)
Well...

So the thing is they were really dumb, like in more ways than one, because they didn't believe Anna when she was talking about this stuff. And even when they saw it, they were like, nah, that's just some guy with a complexion problem.

Spencer (51:45.956)
Hehehe

Chris (51:53.059)
Evil!

Chris (51:59.371)
Every time, Volchek always had a fucking thing to say. It's like, wait a minute, like what happened here? This doesn't make sense. He probably slipped, fell, landed on the dog and his credit score was bad.

Luciano (52:07.13)
Yeah, yeah, it was like, oh.

Spencer (52:12.388)
He's been having a rough time.

Luciano (52:12.746)
Do you remember that spoof movie, Fatal Attraction? That was a lethal attraction, or less the fatal attraction. He was like, oh yeah, he stabbed himself in the back 11 times, that's how he committed suicide. This was that, every time with Wojciech.

Chris (52:16.826)
Yeah.

Chris (52:23.827)
Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe

Spencer (52:25.312)
Yeah, that's like naked gun too. He fell down an elevator shaft onto 18 bullets. Just an accident.

Luciano (52:31.031)
Yeah, yeah, exactly and then he dropped the elevator on himself. Yeah

Spencer (52:37.012)
Yeah, they, they were very dumb and they didn't believe it for a long time. And then when he did believe it, the guy was like, you're not going to think your way out of this one, like what your solution is like just to die. He's like, he's like, you're not going to get into this one. But yeah, they, but there was also a few days there where, or maybe in weeks where they knew it was there and he was just eating one guy at a time. Like eating the night watch.

Matt (52:42.531)
Listen.

Luciano (52:49.802)
Clearly!

Luciano (52:58.976)
Yeah, yeah.

Matt (53:04.351)
So, I'm a, listen, I'm a, yeah, Spencer, you bring up a point, I think they tried to cover it, but it still doesn't quite add up. But based on my count of the movie, Dracula was up and active for like what? 10 days of the voyage?

Chris (53:05.476)
It was on.

Spencer (53:06.764)
Just be like, I don't want Night Watch.

Luciano (53:07.927)
Yeah

Luciano (53:23.586)
Something like that.

Spencer (53:24.641)
I think they said two weeks to London when they already had people dying.

Matt (53:27.781)
Okay.

Matt (53:30.979)
Right. And they, so they said basically Anna came up with the idea that he was killing off people one by one to sustain his rations. Right. Um, and-

Chris (53:37.039)
rationing.

Luciano (53:38.963)
Yeah, yeah.

Spencer (53:40.14)
But he only needs one person who he can bite regularly. No, but he was biting the girl regularly. Okay.

Luciano (53:42.166)
Per day, yeah. Oh, we don't talk about that. We don't talk about that.

Matt (53:43.827)
A day? Well, but this is the thing, right? But this is the confusing thing. So Dracula is killing people. Is he doing it in spite of Anna? Because Anna is out by that time as he- because Anna is out right before they kill anybody.

Chris (53:47.827)
Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe

Luciano (54:00.146)
And he never tries to drink from her either.

Chris (54:03.095)
Yeah, why?

Spencer (54:04.292)
I think he wanted to keep her as like a sexy toy.

Luciano (54:04.821)
ever.

Chris (54:07.677)
A souvenir from home. It's like his teddy, his human teddy bear.

Spencer (54:10.932)
Yeah.

Matt (54:11.883)
Chris? Chris, you don't understand the power of white women, do you?

Chris (54:15.203)
Oh shit. That bugger sugar. Oh.

Spencer (54:15.293)
Yeah, exactly. We get it.

Luciano (54:17.603)
There you go.

Spencer (54:21.008)
Yeah, white women are like cocaine to him. Just a little taste, just a little more, just a little more. Gotta, gotta rash, gotta rush it, ration that shit out, man.

Matt (54:21.151)
Yeah.

Luciano (54:24.054)
Hahaha!

Chris (54:24.687)
A little drug. You gotta, you gotta, you gotta hit it, hit it, let it get that bump. You got it. Oh.

Matt (54:33.749)
Anyways, diverging from that point to get back to our plan. So we need to sink this ship, right? If we sink it with Dracula on it, we think he can't escape. Turns out motherfucker has wings, but that's okay. Okay.

Chris (54:43.696)
Yeah.

Luciano (54:46.978)
Yeah.

Chris (54:47.936)
I got a plan.

Spencer (54:48.6)
Well that's like the bad plan. We have other plans.

Chris (54:51.632)
we have other plans.

Matt (54:52.439)
No, Chris has a plan. Why'd you call his plan bad without hearing it?

Spencer (54:53.6)
Let's hear. Okay, let's just get into Chris. There's a Dracula eating us one by one only at night. I dibs on not night shift. What's your plan?

Chris (55:00.335)
Yes. My plan-

Matt (55:02.618)
Ha ha ha.

Luciano (55:03.51)
There's a Dracula.

Chris (55:07.299)
So my plan works, although experimental, only works after, like when they've got about five days. Listen, listen, listen. Correct. That's right. It only works based on, it can only be executed when there's like five days out from London, okay? And here's why.

Matt (55:13.771)
Sorry, experimental? I think it's a kind of a one-shot deal here. There's only be A testing. You'll be dead after A testing.

Luciano (55:16.171)
Yeah.

Spencer (55:17.073)
We're gonna do LSD!

Luciano (55:19.894)
We're gonna do an A-B testing and...

Chris (55:36.515)
after all the people, previous people have been killed, right? Slaughtered. And then the remaining kill, not all, wait, the remaining, a- shut the fuck up and let me cook. I brought celery after the previous amount of people have been killed. And I wasn't counting.

Spencer (55:41.396)
Great plan. After everyone's been killed!

Matt (55:49.207)
I'm sorry.

Spencer (55:52.314)
We throw ourselves at his knees and say, please don't kill me.

Chris (55:55.747)
We're not worthy! We're not worthy! We're not worthy! Uh, I know, I, do you have, like, do you have, are you in good hands, GuyCodeTorrent? Anyways, so, let's call it, let's call it four or five people left, right? So, five days from London. You know that the rest, like, you're all doomed. Why? Hmm. No one has tried a submersible. No one's tried to send the boat off or destroy the boat?

Luciano (55:55.95)
Please kill us two! No, kill us two, please! Please!

Chris (56:25.123)
send it in one direction and you dive.

Matt (56:26.517)
I hate this plan.

Luciano (56:27.588)
A submersible? Do you think they had submarines?

Chris (56:29.415)
a submersible.

Spencer (56:31.377)
What the fuck are you talking about? Your plan is to create a submarine.

Chris (56:33.179)
This is the only this is why Dracula only operates the way he does. This motherfucker can't swim. Yes, does Dracula swim? How, when, when he swims in the air, my friend, he doesn't swim in the water.

Luciano (56:42.602)
No. What? Yes.

Luciano (56:50.598)
Yeah, yeah, great. That's great. Yeah. Okay, that's what I hate this plan. So

Spencer (56:51.174)
It's not swimming.

Chris (56:55.046)
Exactly. Go under the water.

Spencer (56:56.6)
So you're saying just swim from five days out?

Chris (56:59.923)
swim, take some food, dive underwater.

Spencer (57:02.248)
underwater? This is the worst plan I've ever heard. And why does it- and why wait till all the crew is dead until you're five days away? Why not six days away?

Luciano (57:06.935)
Hahaha!

Chris (57:07.099)
It's the only plan. It's the only plan. Not all the crew. I corrected it. I corrected that you wait. So that way he's like, oh, that motherfucker is not coming up. But you've got maybe like six minutes of air. You empty out one of those petroleum barrels and you dive motherfucker. And you just wait for the boat to pass by. And then he's nibbling on everybody else. And then you come, you surface and then you swim for the fucking swim for it.

Luciano (57:26.908)
Why?

Matt (57:32.384)
Five days out.

Luciano (57:32.523)
Wide.

Spencer (57:33.466)
You said six days out, you know that.

Chris (57:34.043)
Yup. Five, six, I don't care. But like, this is the variation to the cook. The cook, you're not talking about me. I'm talking about them. They're seafaring people.

Spencer (57:38.9)
You couldn't swim one day out!

Spencer (57:44.108)
What, they're- they're Josh Phelps?

Luciano (57:45.648)
Yeah. No. They couldn't either.

Chris (57:48.303)
Nah, you can you rest you rest and you do it. That's the new doing. I don't give a fuck.

Luciano (57:51.335)
Where? Where do you rest?

Matt (57:52.275)
I'm gonna do some math.

Spencer (57:53.348)
Chris, I am not gonna be in a life or death situation with you. For God's sake. You're- Yes! That's why I'm not gonna jump five days- five days from shore. Chris jumps in the water with a single potato. We're good!

Luciano (57:57.575)
Exactly.

Chris (58:00.384)
Do you wanna live? I'll see you when I get to shore.

Luciano (58:01.394)
If I wanna live, yeah, we leave you out of it.

Luciano (58:12.286)
We have we have all of this water I'll make soup

Chris (58:12.303)
I'd be like, bitch. I'd be like, the chef got in the lifeboat and unfortunately miscalculated unknowingly because Dracula swims in the air, but no one went under the water. No one went under the water. Furthermore, the greatest plan of all time. Mm-mm.

Spencer (58:23.8)
Just say flies! Hehehehe

Luciano (58:24.738)
This... this... might be... this might be... the worst plan of the history of space and time.

Spencer (58:37.275)
Yeah, you were like, like...

Luciano (58:37.89)
Like you managed to make a worse plan than what was in the movie. This is some sort of an accomplishment.

Chris (58:43.887)
I challenge you. I white glove slap challenge you. What what? Do a dual idea. Idea dual, yes.

Spencer (58:44.76)
Hehehe

Matt (58:48.648)
Um, okay, hey Chris, I just want to throw a set of numbers at you for your plan.

Chris (58:55.739)
I DON'T WANT YOUR LIFE, DESERVER!

Spencer (58:57.586)
No, it's my favorite thing.

Luciano (58:59.587)
Just a spreadsheet of numbers, if you will.

Matt (58:59.895)
So, so we know that the Demeter is traveling at 12 knots cause our boy David Dalmatian, or Dalmatian tells us so. He says they are traveling at 12 knots. And I looked that up, they would actually know that because knots is like a, they basically tied knots to a rope and hung it in the water to see how fast they were going. Yeah, that's the measuring of speed for boats. Yeah, so they have this rope with knots and number of knots that are in the water, whatever are out of the water, that's how fast they know they're going.

Luciano (59:16.722)
Yeah, exactly. It is. That's how it works. Yeah.

Chris (59:17.267)
I thought that was the measurement of speed. Great, great, go.

Matt (59:25.803)
So we know they're traveling at 12 knots, and we have calculated that we're saying five days out. Just to give you a little bit of context, that is 1657 miles.

Chris (59:36.486)
And...

Spencer (59:36.836)
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

Matt (59:38.059)
How many miles, how fast can you swim for 24 hours straight?

Spencer (59:40.684)
How many potatoes are you bringing?

Chris (59:42.99)
But that's the point, if you destroy the ship, the ship is not going to make it to land, but you will.

Luciano (59:48.791)
How?

Matt (59:48.851)
You will not. You have to swim 16 hundred miles?

Spencer (59:49.041)
Ow!

Chris (59:50.607)
YOU SWIM!

Spencer (59:53.606)
I cannot believe you right now

Chris (59:54.159)
Bitch! Do you- the white women are in London! Are you going to London or are you not?

Spencer (01:00:01.166)
You know what, he has a good point there. No, no, he's got a great point. I'm in for Chris' plan now. Luciano, you're missing submersibles. That's the key.

Luciano (01:00:01.73)
You are not! You are going to die! With your loins on fire!

Matt (01:00:04.339)
He's got a great point though.

Chris (01:00:04.623)
Nah, bruh.

Chris (01:00:10.795)
The women's are waiting with the beer!

Chris (01:00:16.972)
See?

Matt (01:00:18.123)
Submersible and white women.

Luciano (01:00:19.155)
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's my bad. This is my bad

Chris (01:00:20.211)
I'm out

and pure and the power of the human spirit fueled by the loins.

Spencer (01:00:28.056)
I just picture that like

Luciano (01:00:28.722)
It's they use the fire of their loins to propose them through the water

Chris (01:00:32.792)
Ay! It's a... TOOY!

Spencer (01:00:35.865)
I just picture this. This is like straight out of a movie where he's like, I got a plan. We're gonna use submersibles. We're gonna send the ship and we're gonna go through the water and get to the land five days out using submersibles. He's like, motherfucker, that's called swimming. Hehehehehehe.

Chris (01:00:48.275)
That was great.

Luciano (01:00:50.178)
Ha ha!

Chris (01:00:51.464)
But you need to go under the water, you swim under the water! But go on.

Luciano (01:00:54.606)
Yeah, that's better.

Spencer (01:00:54.88)
Yeah, motherfucker that's swimming still!

Chris (01:00:57.965)
Still, bitch, do you want to live? You can come up for air when needed.

Spencer (01:01:02.684)
Okay, we need a- we need-

Matt (01:01:03.027)
It would take you 181 hours to swim to land, straight. Yeah, I'm straight swimming.

Chris (01:01:06.583)
181 hours. See, see? If it took James Franco 128 days or 28 hours with his one arm that he had to nibble off to get out from that boulder, that sounds reasonable to me. And he survived.

Spencer (01:01:10.756)
Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe

Spencer (01:01:18.744)
Hehehe

Luciano (01:01:21.799)
Oh my god.

Spencer (01:01:22.432)
That's how long he was stuck under it, not how far he went. Okay, we gotta move on, we gotta move on. Let's...

Matt (01:01:22.624)
You know what?

Now that's, that's fine. That's a great idea, Chris. One, we have one plan. Do we have any other?

Chris (01:01:27.211)
Whatever.

Luciano (01:01:31.574)
Hahaha!

Chris (01:01:31.712)
That is exactly, do you see, do you see how easy it is to acquiesce?

Spencer (01:01:36.048)
Let's just... Let's just workshop a couple ideas. Let's not jump on the first plan.

Matt (01:01:36.087)
Do we have any other plans that might be a little, I'll just, one percent less crazy. Just one percent less.

Luciano (01:01:40.604)
Hahaha!

Matt (01:01:43.839)
Just in case. Yeah, you would all talk about your plans. You would all talk about your plans. And then you'd vote on the best one. So what else we got?

Chris (01:01:45.096)
We get in the submersible and we survive.

Spencer (01:01:49.834)
It's a good idea, but... You know, um... Let's try something else. Okay, hear me out, guys. Submersibles. Why do I have to... Submersibles.

Chris (01:01:58.213)
White women.

Luciano (01:02:01.862)
Oh, I know what you could do. You could save one of those caskets, empty it, and then you use it as a boat to row. I know.

Chris (01:02:06.533)
Okay.

Spencer (01:02:07.992)
They have boats. Didn't they have other, like, boats?

Chris (01:02:10.671)
And Dracula, I'm sorry, but Dracula would still swoop and grab you, wouldn't he?

Matt (01:02:11.135)
Yeah.

Luciano (01:02:14.666)
No, he would be dead. You established he can't swim.

Matt (01:02:16.151)
Chris, to be fair in your plan, he could have also done that. Easily. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Chris (01:02:17.707)
I just want to help you. I don't care what I don't care. Don't worry about me. Don't worry about me. I got white women and London and land waiting for me through the power of technology buoyancy, displacement and submersibles. But let's get let's continue.

Luciano (01:02:21.478)
Yeah.

Spencer (01:02:22.385)
You can't hold your breath for a minute.

Luciano (01:02:30.634)
Ah!

Spencer (01:02:35.962)
Okay, Chris is gonna go to London using submersibles. Well, the three of us now have to make our plan, because we decided not to go with Chris's plan, and he is on his own now. We're waving to Chris as he swims away underwater. We'll see you on the other side.

Luciano (01:02:46.956)
Because we want to live!

Chris (01:02:49.507)
Good luck!

Matt (01:02:53.336)
it.

Chris (01:02:54.652)
White with-

Chris (01:03:00.583)
World star!

Luciano (01:03:01.804)
Catch you on the flip side, Chris!

Spencer (01:03:03.4)
As I turned to Matt, that motherfucker dead. Um, so Chris is now gone. We're down to three. I think, so I think the most logical plan and as good as Chris's idea is, I do think that we should take

Chris (01:03:06.467)
I ain't saving any women for you!

Matt (01:03:07.838)
And how?

Chris (01:03:11.187)
Condom!

Chris (01:03:16.879)
Yeah. Yup.

Luciano (01:03:17.398)
He's on his submersible.

Chris (01:03:25.083)
Make sure you destroy it. No, go on, go on, go on.

Spencer (01:03:32.264)
all the cargo first crack of dawn, 6am. We know I guess this would be after we saw someone die from fire. So we're going to lose a few before we learn that you know, these things are weak to sunlight. But that's a that's a sacrifice we're going to have to have to make. So once we know that we think okay, the crack of dawn will all go down there and we'll

Luciano (01:03:46.142)
Yeah, definitely.

Matt (01:03:46.187)
Mm-hmm.

Spencer (01:04:00.524)
bring all the cargo up into the sunlight as best we can. Hopefully there's at least like five of us left so we can physically do it using ropes and we open it in the sunlight.

Matt (01:04:09.915)
Mm-hmm.

Chris (01:04:12.179)
police.

Spencer (01:04:15.176)
And then we swim to shore. Sorry, then we dive and swim five days to London. No, we just open it and they burned. I don't see how this plan could fail.

Luciano (01:04:18.212)
Hahahaha

Chris (01:04:19.387)
Yeah, that's right. That's right.

Matt (01:04:22.502)
Hahaha

Matt (01:04:29.999)
It's true because as we saw in the movie, people burning on ships do not set ships on fire. So I think this plan is excellent. None whatsoever.

Luciano (01:04:35.89)
Yeah. No, the wood is asbestos actually.

Spencer (01:04:36.056)
There's... there are no fire hazards.

Chris (01:04:40.093)
Uh-uh.

Matt (01:04:42.655)
Just keep your own hands and face out of the fire, but the ship? Fine, whatever.

Chris (01:04:43.251)
wet as fuck.

Luciano (01:04:45.394)
Yes. No, but even if you do, if you keep your hands and your face in the fire, it's just minor inconvenience really. Yeah.

Matt (01:04:50.527)
That's true. Yeah, it won't stop you.

Spencer (01:04:51.544)
How could the ship burn? It's on water.

Luciano (01:04:54.494)
Yeah, exactly. Yeah, it's wet. It's very wet.

Spencer (01:04:57.044)
Yeah, you can't burn wet.

Matt (01:04:57.848)
Um, excellent, excellent plan, Spencer.

Chris (01:04:57.939)
completely wet.

Luciano (01:05:00.784)
You can't burn wet, Spencer.

Matt (01:05:03.511)
That's true.

Spencer (01:05:03.736)
That's a good.

Chris (01:05:03.911)
See? Yo, actually fire can burn in the water.

Spencer (01:05:08.044)
fire can burn oh yeah my plan doesn't make sense my plan logical

Luciano (01:05:09.154)
Oh, don't you come to me now with logic after your plan?

Matt (01:05:11.136)
Don't do this.

Chris (01:05:14.758)
Yo, listen, it can work. Don't, it can work. It can work.

Matt (01:05:18.96)
Chris, in the interest of time for this podcast, I'm not going to ask you to justify your nonsense. We're going to move along and ask Luciano if he has any other ideas.

Chris (01:05:25.475)
You chose wisely.

Spencer (01:05:26.468)
Heheheheh... Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe

Luciano (01:05:32.465)
Oh no, Spencer's plan sounds very good to me. It's bring them up, burn them up and we're done.

Matt (01:05:35.473)
Great. Love it.

Chris (01:05:39.143)
That, wait, okay.

Spencer (01:05:40.217)
And if we don't want to risk a fire on the ship by magic, magically somehow fire burns our ship, we could just push those cargoes overboard and just leave it in the ocean.

Luciano (01:05:43.443)
It's okay.

Matt (01:05:43.77)
Mm-hmm.

Matt (01:05:51.495)
I think at some point you've missed the bonus, right? Like the bonus isn't worth it?

Luciano (01:05:54.822)
Yeah, well, I mean if you're dead, there's no bonus so

Spencer (01:05:57.752)
I'll tell you what, we deliver the dirt.

Spencer (01:06:02.267)
We'll deliver 95% of the cargo.

Chris (01:06:05.107)
But you actually amaze that, don't you?

Spencer (01:06:07.252)
Dracula's fucking dead! Why do you care what Dracula wants? Dracula

Chris (01:06:10.255)
How is he dead yet? What's the point? How are you ensuring your survival if you keep the dirt?

Matt (01:06:12.407)
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Luciano (01:06:16.434)
He's still in the water, thrusting his hips to get to London.

Spencer (01:06:20.892)
I like, I love Chris's concern for Dracula, but Dracula needs that. Are you already a slave? Because we're going to open them all and he's going to burn, then the dirt's going to just be dirt and then we're going to close it and deliver the dirt and we'll say we'll take $74 instead of $75.

Chris (01:06:21.171)
separately. No. How are you surviving if you keep the dirt? No!

Luciano (01:06:29.134)
He's-

Luciano (01:06:33.851)
and die. Yeah.

Chris (01:06:35.735)
Okay, fine. Thank you.

Chris (01:06:40.903)
For the purpose of the conversation, I'll say thank you for answering my question.

Luciano (01:06:42.403)
Yeah. Here's the problem though, Spencer. I think it was Dracula paying them.

Spencer (01:06:48.648)
You know what shit prove it

Chris (01:06:48.866)
Oh shit!

Matt (01:06:49.851)
We don't know that. We don't know that. Yeah. But if we're looking to save, that's fine. I think that's great. The only other thing I'll raise, obviously, is that if your sole object is to sink the ship and survival is not important, you could get close to London, well, England, specifically, Whitby, as it turns out. Looks great. Looks just like

Luciano (01:06:52.031)
That's why I said I think. I think.

Chris (01:06:54.747)
That's what he thinks. Okay.

Chris (01:07:09.011)
Hmm.

Luciano (01:07:14.462)
Yeah, it was with me.

HAHAHAHAHAHA

Chris (01:07:18.419)
W!

Matt (01:07:19.307)
Um, but you, you get yourself, let yourself get close and then just, you know, close in the, well, you don't know we can fly, right? So you don't know that. So you get yourself get close and you basically use those, um, petroleum that they apparently have on the ship to explode the ship. Cause I think that's more, I understand that Dracula, Dracula's burning, won't light ships on fire, but I still think oil does burn ships up.

Chris (01:07:29.927)
Not in the water.

Luciano (01:07:29.984)
Yeah.

Chris (01:07:36.051)
of course.

Luciano (01:07:41.016)
Guaranteed.

Luciano (01:07:48.97)
Because it's a different kind of fire, right?

Spencer (01:07:49.848)
Well now you're just making nonsense.

Matt (01:07:51.859)
It's fair. So I think I would blow up the shower, light the petroleum on fire, and then burn down the ship. And you're not 1600 miles from land. Little closer was what I'm thinking. Something Yeah, I mean, that's a couple hours of swimming based on you know,

Luciano (01:07:55.55)
Okay. And then jump.

Spencer (01:07:58.276)
If you don't mind dying.

Spencer (01:08:03.354)
Ha ha!

Luciano (01:08:06.074)
Like maybe 16 miles. Yeah.

Spencer (01:08:10.148)
It's at least like 4% closer.

Matt (01:08:13.077)
Yeah.

Luciano (01:08:15.142)
I like your plan too. That works too.

Spencer (01:08:16.003)
We can make that swim.

Matt (01:08:16.203)
Chris your plan wasn't wrong, it's just an alternate plan, just you know, give and take.

Chris (01:08:19.699)
I'm not combating it, I'm just thinking about, so how many days out in your plan, how many days out were you from land?

Luciano (01:08:26.338)
Like a few hours? Four! Ha ha ha!

Spencer (01:08:26.476)
Four. Four days.

Matt (01:08:26.791)
I mean, yeah.

Chris (01:08:29.043)
Hours? Days or hours? I was gonna hear you. Both? Four days and four hours. Then that should be successful because Dracula shouldn't, I'm hoping he shouldn't be able to fly that long. Oh wait, he can because he, wouldn't he Morbius Glide?

Matt (01:08:33.343)
Um, yes. Four days and four hours. Yeah.

Spencer (01:08:34.805)
Chris, Chris... I'm saying this to everyone... I'm sorry...

Luciano (01:08:34.842)
Yes, four days and four hours.

Matt (01:08:47.743)
He can't fly. Nah, I've got this. Because I can swim all day and all night based on your system. But Dracula can't fly during the day because he'll burn up to a crisp.

Chris (01:08:53.892)
Mm-hmm.

Luciano (01:08:58.577)
Yeah. So he drowns and then he flies and then he drowns and then he flies. Okay.

Spencer (01:08:59.328)
Listen, I-

Matt (01:08:59.644)
Logic'd.

Chris (01:08:59.943)
Thank you.

Spencer (01:09:04.577)
I want to say this to everyone, but not-

Matt (01:09:04.685)
No, when you get burned.

Chris (01:09:04.699)
Good. You just proved both our points.

Matt (01:09:09.598)
Especially when you get burned and thrown on the water, you don't come back.

Luciano (01:09:12.99)
You know why it's the fire, fire puts out. No, but the water puts out the fire and then you're okay, right? No, not Toby. I mean Dracula.

Spencer (01:09:14.444)
Look at that kid, look at Toby. Look at Toby.

Matt (01:09:16.288)
Tobii-

Chris (01:09:17.623)
No, told me they didn't come back! In the water!

Matt (01:09:21.512)
Well Toby is dead.

Chris (01:09:22.951)
Dead.

Matt (01:09:25.137)
Well, we don't know that.

Chris (01:09:25.607)
Okay.

Luciano (01:09:26.622)
Yeah, but we saw, you know, Leon Cunningham was okay with being burned.

Matt (01:09:31.975)
Yeah, but Toby wasn't, so...

Chris (01:09:33.351)
and Liam Cunningham was still human.

Luciano (01:09:33.953)
I'm out.

Matt (01:09:35.539)
Yeah, Toby is a vampire. Ergo!

Luciano (01:09:37.046)
Oh, I see what you mean. Okay, okay. And so Dracula, so Dracula, Dracula was flying, coming after us. And then he was like, Oh, fuck the sun. Well, guess I'm dead. And then he would just die.

Chris (01:09:39.104)
Dracula can't swim in the water!

Spencer (01:09:41.624)
Concordantly.

Matt (01:09:44.479)
Yes.

Matt (01:09:51.335)
Well, he lights on fire, but as soon as he catches on fire, that's enough and we hit the water, he's still dead. Yeah.

Luciano (01:09:56.782)
Ah, I see.

Chris (01:09:57.333)
Oh, soothing!

Spencer (01:09:58.197)
How deep underwater can he go to be out of sun?

Chris (01:10:02.995)
That's fucked up, that's true, that's a very good question.

Matt (01:10:04.633)
Um, it doesn't matter because Toby was dead on impact of the fire. No, but Dracula will catch on fire, so as soon as he catches on fire, he's dead.

Spencer (01:10:07.948)
No, Toby's dead. I'm not talking about Toby. I know Toby's dead.

Luciano (01:10:08.396)
Yeah.

Chris (01:10:08.891)
Yes, but Dracula... Yes?

Luciano (01:10:14.518)
He's dead. Immediately. Yeah.

Spencer (01:10:15.813)
What about if before the sun comes out, he goes underwater and he goes deep enough where the sun can't reach him and he can't hold his breath?

Luciano (01:10:19.926)
That's what I was saying.

Chris (01:10:20.699)
Can Dracula... does Dracula need oxygen?

Matt (01:10:21.151)
then that's probably fine. Probably yes, but he's undead, so...

Luciano (01:10:25.058)
That's what I was saying here. He flies and then he drowns and then he flies and then he drowns. That's what I was saying. But Matt was implying that once he's flying, he's like, oh, the sun is coming up. Oh fuck, I guess I'm dead then. Gonna keep on flying. Flap, flap, flap dead.

Chris (01:10:30.483)
but when he drowns he's dead and then-

Matt (01:10:38.368)
Yes.

Chris (01:10:40.083)
So then, so I guess it's an extremely traumatic cycle of events, even for one monster of Dracula's tier. That's why he paid for a cruise. Well.

Luciano (01:10:49.546)
I mean, this whole conversation is one traumatic cycle of events for me. No, no, we're not.

Spencer (01:10:53.516)
So are we going with Chris's plan? Is that what we're saying right now? Obviously.

Matt (01:10:56.695)
Yeah. Yeah, obviously. Christmas plan is the best.

Chris (01:10:59.779)
Matt's plan because he would burn in the sun. But then we devolved into, I wouldn't say devolved, we spelunked into some very pertinent questions.

Luciano (01:11:07.238)
I don't want...

Matt (01:11:07.328)
It was, we yes and our way to a very viable solution. We have some smaller questions we need to get to because we have been spending a lot of time on Dracula's, sorry, the plan for the crew. And I think it's only fair to question just a little bit Dracula's plan. Like I understand he was supposed to just feed off of Anna, but when that went south, I guess, I don't know if it actually went south, he could have, anyways. What was, what was, like, what was the whole thing?

Chris (01:11:17.745)
Good question.

Luciano (01:11:23.524)
Hahaha

Chris (01:11:26.676)
Hmm.

Matt (01:11:34.807)
What was he doing? What was he up to?

Chris (01:11:38.727)
Well, he walked into the flight center, Transylvania flight center. He's like, I've had enough of this town. I want to see the sites. And, um, I hear that overseas, uh, that they party pretty hard in, in Brixton.

Spencer (01:11:56.944)
and they've got the white women in London, from what I hear.

Luciano (01:11:59.342)
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

Chris (01:12:00.147)
I am tired. I need to see something different. But these white women I hear stories and tales of, okay, well, they had my curiosity, but now they got my attention. And this daddy D needs to go give me some English buttermilk biscuits. Yeah.

Spencer (01:12:10.532)
Hehehe

Spencer (01:12:16.912)
Yeah, he wants it. And, and, um, he go get it.

Chris (01:12:23.759)
Yes, Mr. Dracula, I would you like to pay all this gold? That's a lot of gold, sir. OK, well, you won't take it. And then we're going to we're going to you're going to put it. You won't take you won't take this gold. You'll take this sack. You're going to put you won't put me in my crates of mentionables. And you're not going to check. And I'm not checking them. You're going to put them on that boat. You won't sell me to London. And that's the end of the discussion.

Spencer (01:12:32.992)
Why is he from Southern... New Orleans?

Thanks for watching!

Spencer (01:12:43.78)
Nuh.

Spencer (01:12:52.261)
I'm no big city lawyer, I'm just a small man, I'm a simple man from Transylvania, you may have heard of me. Ha ha ha.

Chris (01:12:55.311)
I'm just a simple man. I'm a simple business man.

I'm just trying to establish myself as a simple businessman. You know?

Luciano (01:13:02.818)
Trans... Transylvania, Tennessee.

Spencer (01:13:06.104)
Transylvania, they call me Dracula. Friends call me Drake. You call me D.

Chris (01:13:09.011)
Well, you put your whole ankle in them pogmaws.

Spencer (01:13:15.268)
What was the question Matt?

Luciano (01:13:15.702)
So anyway, to answer your question, Matt, I think he just got pissy because he got woken up. Like, he was like, he woke up and Anna wasn't there. It was like, where's my woman? And then he saw a bunch of men with his woman.

Chris (01:13:17.026)
HA HA!

Chris (01:13:24.216)
Hmm.

Spencer (01:13:29.512)
Why is he now he's a different part of the South.

Chris (01:13:33.997)
Well, well, my woman has. Hey, hon'a! Hey, hon'a! Buh, I tell you what!

Spencer (01:13:34.345)
Now he's like Texas. Where's my woman?

Luciano (01:13:36.035)
We'll figure it out somehow. I'll tell you what, where is my woman?

Matt (01:13:38.248)
Yeah.

Matt (01:13:42.711)
Traditionally, traditionally, Dracula is Tennessee South when he is laying on the charm and trying to convince people to do stuff. But when he gets angry, straight text him.

Spencer (01:13:49.894)
Of course.

Luciano (01:13:52.97)
It's Texas. Yeah. El Paso. It's El... It's... It's El Paso. He's in the world. El Paso. That's... Where... Where is Ana? Where is my woman?

Chris (01:13:54.427)
YEEEHAW!

Spencer (01:13:54.441)
Where's my white women?

Matt (01:13:57.684)
Ha ha ha!

Yeah, yeah, that's exactly it.

Chris (01:14:02.139)
Gonna need style, sir.

Chris (01:14:06.643)
I'm feeling mighty... ..aww.

Spencer (01:14:08.193)
I do declare, I say, I say, I say, I say, where's my white women? I do say, I say, I say. I say.

Luciano (01:14:09.343)
I...

Chris (01:14:11.417)
Yeah

Luciano (01:14:16.09)
I like white women Yeah, I think I think that's what happened Matt, I think he just got pissy And he went Texas he went Texas on them

Chris (01:14:16.915)
Oh, it's, well, tell me what a white woman is. Tell me what a white woman is. That's, and then the flight center was just like, okay, well it sounds to me, mm, mm-hmm. Text.

Matt (01:14:29.179)
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Spencer (01:14:29.516)
Don't forget all the people from where he's from are dead. All of them. Everyone in that country is dead. Didn't you hear? Yes. Sorry.

Chris (01:14:33.735)
Texas Sea Faring Unit.

Luciano (01:14:33.787)
Yeah, his entire country.

Matt (01:14:33.882)
What? This?

Chris (01:14:37.739)
How? Yeah. Whoa. Yes.

Matt (01:14:39.639)
Spencer, point of order, they're not dead, technically. No, there's no food left for Dracula, is what we're told. And this brings up a question. Assuming all of the Transylvanians are not actually dead and Dracula hasn't committed genocide, what is in...

Chris (01:14:44.079)
yet.

Spencer (01:14:44.12)
They're just not living.

Luciano (01:14:45.798)
Technically.

Luciano (01:14:52.416)
Yeah.

Matt (01:15:08.115)
the veins of transylvanians, the ones that are alive. What's going on? Are they butter? Okay. Garlic?

Chris (01:15:12.035)
Butter to that butter, butter.

Luciano (01:15:15.146)
But butter. Oh, there you go, garlic. That's the problem.

Spencer (01:15:16.596)
Like why he won't... Like what do you mean, what do you mean, what's in their blood? Like why won't he eat them?

Chris (01:15:16.903)
Garlic butter.

Matt (01:15:23.357)
We are like is because let's assume they're not all dead like you said it's not genocide

Spencer (01:15:26.396)
I assume they, her words, I wrote it down, were, in my country, there's no one left to feed on. Yes. I don't understand your question. What's in their blood? Oh.

Matt (01:15:28.831)
Hey, Spencer.

Spencer, it's almost like you should answer the question I'm asking instead of arguing against my question.

Luciano (01:15:33.234)
Yeah, that doesn't mean they're dead. Hahahaha!

Chris (01:15:39.242)
Answer my questions, boy!

Luciano (01:15:41.622)
Point of contention, your honor!

Matt (01:15:44.339)
I said what is in the Transylvanian's blood?

Chris (01:15:45.523)
I'm going to go.

Chris (01:15:50.undefined)
I want the truth! Boy, you can't handle the truth!

Spencer (01:15:54.216)
um eight i'm just thinking of a blood issue

Matt (01:15:54.912)
ANSWER THE QUESTION!

Chris (01:15:58.086)
8?

Matt (01:15:58.708)
Holy shit.

Luciano (01:15:59.568)
Oh my god!

Chris (01:16:02.839)
Oh, y'all are autoimmune

Matt (01:16:04.101)
They killed a child in this movie and that was worse. That answer right there was worse.

Luciano (01:16:07.199)
Yeah.

Luciano (01:16:11.086)
My god, it's just like, there's no browsing through, it's just top shelf.

Chris (01:16:12.499)
They weren't hemoglobin, your honor.

Spencer (01:16:17.341)
Yeah, maybe they're hypoglycemic.

Matt (01:16:17.553)
Yep.

Chris (01:16:20.883)
coagulating. There was no coagulating.

Matt (01:16:24.016)
Spencer, you spent the entire episode making jokes, and when I give you a gift you're just like, oh, AIDS? Hypoglycemia? Leukemia, perhaps?

Luciano (01:16:33.2)
My god.

Spencer (01:16:35.051)
That's...

Matt (01:16:35.572)
Some sort of blood disorder.

Luciano (01:16:37.102)
I'm sorry.

Chris (01:16:40.889)
What kind of blood is the question? What's in the blood? I think I know what's inside the blood. Go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead.

Luciano (01:16:44.631)
I think maybe the Transylvanians... Good, good, good. Maybe the Transylvanians spent all of that time just trying to get as much garlic in their blood as possible. And now he can't feed on them because he doesn't like garlic.

Spencer (01:16:46.284)
Guys, I pass. No, I pass.

Matt (01:16:47.85)
Hahaha!

Chris (01:16:54.033)
Hmm.

Matt (01:16:57.642)
Okay.

Spencer (01:17:01.836)
That's actually a good idea.

Matt (01:17:02.036)
Right, what's your pro-

Right. How would you consume this garlic? Sure.

Luciano (01:17:06.375)
Wait, is it? It is?

Spencer (01:17:09.708)
Like that would be good in a movie. A good movie, not this one.

Chris (01:17:14.401)
What aspect would... In a movie? Good in a good movie. Approach the band.

Luciano (01:17:16.01)
Yeah, what part of this would be good in a good movie? Go on. Ha!

Matt (01:17:16.276)
I'm gonna go.

Spencer (01:17:18.808)
Just like, no, just, I can see a scene in a future vampire movie where the main characters eat like a ton of garlic as a defense mechanism against vampires.

Matt (01:17:20.579)
Uh, counselor, I'm going to ask you to show your work. Yeah.

Luciano (01:17:23.191)
Ha ha!

Chris (01:17:34.799)
Why do you keep eating all that garlic? Because it tastes good, man. It tastes good, man.

Luciano (01:17:36.458)
And that's a good scene. Like they just cut, it just cut to a bunch of people chewing on garlic. We're gonna get that boy.

Spencer (01:17:42.806)
Yeah.

Matt (01:17:43.263)
Yeah, eat it like a garlic apple. Ah, garlic apple.

Spencer (01:17:47.2)
It's just a good, that's the whole movie.

Luciano (01:17:50.176)
Ah.

Chris (01:17:50.927)
The Dracula tries to come upon Jerry, who's been gnawing on all that garlic, who's stumbling back from the bar with all its still nibbling on the gun. And then Dracula's like, And then he's like, Oh shit! The fuck have you been eating, Jerry? You smell like garlic and shit! What the fuck is wrong with you? Yeah.

Spencer (01:18:02.913)
NGAAA

Spencer (01:18:08.352)
Ugh.

Luciano (01:18:11.074)
Ha ha!

Matt (01:18:11.159)
Excuse me. Uh, Chris, excuse me. Chris, excuse me. Dracula is Southern, clearly? You didn't have a Southern accent. What was happening there? Do you even care?

Spencer (01:18:12.312)
Are you hypoglycemic?

Spencer (01:18:17.539)
Yeah, did you watch the movie?

Chris (01:18:21.103)
Have you been eating, boy? Boy, have you been rolling? Have you been rolling? Have you been rolling around with them swines as well?

Luciano (01:18:23.191)
Hahaha

Spencer (01:18:23.474)
I'll say I'll say I'll say

Matt (01:18:25.658)
There we go.

Luciano (01:18:26.63)
I say you been eating some foul stuff, boy!

Matt (01:18:33.375)
Boy, I cannot stand that garlic power. Do not care for it.

Luciano (01:18:37.738)
Yeah. Garlic power.

Chris (01:18:38.011)
garlic power. And then Jerry has the idea bulb above his head and he's like, my people's garlic, garlic bulb. He's like the idea. But yes, yes. Yes. Oh, so I believe I believe. I think Jerry's on to something. Ethel, what do you think Ethel?

Spencer (01:18:42.067)
I'll say.

Matt (01:18:47.799)
Sorry, is that a garlic Boba's head? I just had to.

Spencer (01:18:49.494)
Yeah, I just took the same thing.

Luciano (01:18:49.719)
Yeah, obviously. It lights up.

I do declare we should all eat garlic to get away from this man Because this man is not good. I don't know where my accent went there at the end

Spencer (01:19:06.042)
Just move along, move along.

Matt (01:19:08.102)
Next question.

Matt (01:19:12.635)
Where's Dracula's dung?

Spencer (01:19:15.396)
Thank you.

Luciano (01:19:15.599)
hahahaha

Matt (01:19:18.079)
They show him just naked skin man. I don't know what's happening out there.

Spencer (01:19:23.064)
So when I was watching this movie, I noticed that Dracula was a la nude and I noticed that they were conveniently blocking the groin region with different tabletops.

Chris (01:19:23.291)
That area.

Chris (01:19:28.211)
Looking for the dong?

Luciano (01:19:29.89)
Hehehehehehe

Matt (01:19:37.093)
Mm-hmm.

Luciano (01:19:40.796)
Like, they should have done like Austin Powers where he's like always covering with... Yeah.

Spencer (01:19:44.224)
That's what I thought. It's always shot at an angle where it's slightly covered. And then I assumed that they just didn't wanna show Bat-Dong, those cowards. But I was told they do show him full frontal at the end of the movie, correct? And he's Ken?

Chris (01:19:58.648)
little fang.

Matt (01:20:00.27)
It's expensive.

Matt (01:20:04.676)
Mm-hmm. Video? Yeah.

Luciano (01:20:06.494)
Yeah, and he's like flat there.

Matt (01:20:10.903)
It's kind of flat everywhere to be honest.

Luciano (01:20:12.726)
True.

Chris (01:20:13.039)
Yeah. I really don't want to.

Spencer (01:20:14.668)
Sounds like my ex- no.

Luciano (01:20:15.788)
That boy I say I do say I do say that boy has no curves

Matt (01:20:17.363)
Eww.

Chris (01:20:20.215)
I don't want to do this. Like I'm not gonna, I actually wanted to say, wait a minute. If they modeled him after a bat, where, what do, what do bat genitalia, how does that sit? And I almost, I almost, I almost Googled that. And I was like, I don't want that in my browser history. Not going there.

Luciano (01:20:22.102)
Hahaha!

Matt (01:20:24.619)
Wow.

Luciano (01:20:25.204)
It's-

Matt (01:20:30.519)
Chris, he's a human.

Spencer (01:20:32.227)
asking the important questions.

Luciano (01:20:35.226)
Matt, here's the answer. Here's the answer. You know how he has retractable fangs? He has a retractable dung. There.

Matt (01:20:36.695)
I'm on it. Yeah.

Chris (01:20:44.115)
OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Matt (01:20:46.047)
Don't we all have retractable dogs? His goes all the way in.

Spencer (01:20:48.188)
Mine doesn't, I mean, partially, I guess. He's saying fully retractable, fully.

Luciano (01:20:48.466)
in a way his are just more retractable than ours yeah it inverts it inverts it inverts into his like i don't want to say it i don't i don't want to say it i don't want to say it

Chris (01:20:48.571)
The dog is still there.

I do say this, Mr. Stiller, this-

Spencer (01:20:58.904)
Then it rolls out like one of those birthday blowers. Whoooo! Yeah, it rolls out. Whoooo! Yeah! Makes a little sound.

Matt (01:21:03.233)
Yeah, one of the blowers for like near a Z, right? Just rolls out and the flight was at the end.

Chris (01:21:10.873)
That's an easy misconception, but as we all know, as we all know, as we all know that there, whether retractable or not, there's always a little nubbin' left behind.

Luciano (01:21:12.994)
Tickle, tickle, tickle.

Spencer (01:21:22.172)
Now look, now we're just loving.

Luciano (01:21:22.202)
No, not in his case. It goes all the way inside. Goes all the way inside.

Chris (01:21:25.183)
No one was in love with it and Dracula didn't have... Well, for Dracula, I guess so. Like Wolverine's claws. Sneaked. A eunuch aesthetic.

Spencer (01:21:29.216)
So he was a Ken doll, is what you're saying to me.

Luciano (01:21:33.292)
Yeah.

Spencer (01:21:36.724)
I want a Dr. Manhattan style full dong.

Luciano (01:21:38.93)
Yeah. Just just hang in there in glory.

Matt (01:21:44.228)
Just to cover Chris's question, bats have barbed penises? I don't think you want to retract that.

Luciano (01:21:50.83)
Oh, that would have been disgusting, but interesting if they made him have a barbed penis.

Chris (01:21:52.604)
Wow.

Matt (01:21:55.531)
But they, apparently bats perform all the sex. So I don't know how the lady bats feel about what's happening, but they get the job done.

Spencer (01:21:56.099)
Barf Venus. They're bold.

Luciano (01:22:04.706)
Alright.

Spencer (01:22:05.712)
The more you know guys!

Chris (01:22:07.732)
How do they procreate? No wonder they're so angry!

Luciano (01:22:08.325)
The more you know, the more you wish you were deaf.

Spencer (01:22:11.437)
I'm not guys I missed two minutes ago

Chris (01:22:12.359)
Ha ha ha! Do do do!

Matt (01:22:15.967)
You're welcome. Let's move on to a new question moving Clemser palette from what I just did to you all So Dracula is in this movie and he's just trying to get to London doll just booked passengers on a ship Paid a hefty sum in gold based on what we saw And this movie tries to paint him out as certain sort of villain But I want to know who the real villain of this movie is could be the captain bringing his grandson and all these adventures

Chris (01:22:19.951)
Yes. Yeah. But thanks for. Yeah.

Spencer (01:22:21.069)
Ugh, cleanse our palate. Poor choice of words.

Matt (01:22:43.243)
dangerous crew, murderous pillagers. Sounds like he's been on there a lot, but okay, fine. Maybe not him, we'll let it go. We have the extremely racist, misogynistic, homophobic, I assume, Russian guy.

Luciano (01:22:45.183)
It was the last one Matt it was the very last one

Spencer (01:22:57.928)
Fair.

Luciano (01:22:58.446)
Sure.

Chris (01:23:00.403)
There's also the first mate, Wawczyk.

Matt (01:23:00.675)
Um, yeah. Yeah. Boy check just hates everybody. He just wants to run away from the problem. His cognitive, his cognitive dissonance is like through the goddamn roof. Rabies. I don't know. It is, it's, he is the most powerful man in the boat, clearly. And then we got to talk about Chris's boy Clemens. Um, transfusing blood all over the ship to everybody.

Luciano (01:23:02.194)
No. Void? Ah, okay Void. I thought you meant he was... Yeah.

Chris (01:23:08.379)
and writes off everything.

Luciano (01:23:10.202)
He just wants the boat. He loves the boat.

Yeah, oh no, it's a superpower. It's a superpower. Yeah.

Chris (01:23:25.811)
Clemens!

Chris (01:23:30.451)
all over the ship spraying it all over the ship

Spencer (01:23:30.9)
without consent.

Matt (01:23:31.535)
all over the ship. No consent.

Luciano (01:23:34.704)
Yeah. Only, only to people who are not conscious, actually.

Matt (01:23:39.111)
Yeah, right. We see you're unconscious. I mean, he sprays his fluids all over you.

Spencer (01:23:39.672)
Heheheheheheh

Luciano (01:23:42.368)
Yeah. Now he puts them in you. Worse. He finishes inside is what I'm saying.

Chris (01:23:45.747)
UGH

Matt (01:23:46.201)
worse. Arguably both worse or better than I was.

Chris (01:23:49.376)
Gah!

Matt (01:23:52.584)
He basically breaks Dracula's food bank out of the box, revives her, creates the need for Dracula to come out and find other food sources.

Luciano (01:23:59.774)
Yeah!

Chris (01:24:04.563)
Hmm.

Luciano (01:24:07.359)
Yes.

Spencer (01:24:07.372)
He's like that coworker who like goes into the office fridge and eats someone else's lunch.

Matt (01:24:12.807)
Yeah. But not all of it, just like most of it. And then you're like, someone clearly ate this, which is even grosser.

Luciano (01:24:13.503)
Yeah.

And just put, you put it back, yeah.

Chris (01:24:20.499)
So he's the one that caused the fire in the kitchen, in the office kitchen. Okay. That was Ryan. But yes.

Spencer (01:24:24.468)
No, that was mad.

Matt (01:24:24.663)
Mm-hmm. What? No, I will.

Luciano (01:24:26.219)
Hahaha

Matt (01:24:30.271)
I'm just saying, otherwise, so I wanna know who the real villain is. There's other options, I didn't- I don't wanna take them all from you, Anna.

Spencer (01:24:33.284)
Anna, Anna was actually infected the whole time, didn't tell anybody.

Matt (01:24:37.8)
Right?

Chris (01:24:38.143)
Anna felt like she was teeing everybody up for a while, I thought. I was like, wait a minute, she's just playing possum. She was playing possum. She's just leading everybody, setting them up so that Draghid can come and knock them down. So I suspected her for a while. And then I was like, well, why? Like Draghid hasn't killed her yet. Like, isn't she going to be like a harpy or like a vampire or whatever?

Matt (01:24:54.507)
Mm-hmm.

Spencer (01:25:01.018)
I would have liked that to happen. That would have been a nice.

Luciano (01:25:03.43)
Yeah, like if she was like a plant. Yeah. I honestly, when she first appeared, I thought she was gonna be one of the brides, actually.

Chris (01:25:05.167)
Play the damsel and actually she's in on it.

Spencer (01:25:07.688)
Yeah, under his influence.

Chris (01:25:13.223)
There you go, thank you. That's what I felt like, one of his crew. But it wasn't the case.

Luciano (01:25:15.502)
Yeah, yeah, that's what I thought. But, um, well, no, I think it's, do we have to pick one, man? There's so many terrible people in this fucking thing.

Spencer (01:25:19.992)
So she's the worst. No, I'm just...

Chris (01:25:29.069)
Who else? Who else? Who else? Tell me. Tell me.

Matt (01:25:32.311)
Toby?

Luciano (01:25:33.71)
Oh wow. What did that boy, what did that boy I say, what did that boy do to you?

Spencer (01:25:36.558)
What about?

What about what about that one-eyed guy who dropped the box and then left the ship?

Chris (01:25:44.112)
one of the already died? Oh, he got off. He's like, fucked it.

Luciano (01:25:44.76)
Oh!

Matt (01:25:45.856)
No, man, he's the only genius. He got the fuck out of there.

Luciano (01:25:48.49)
Yeah, wait wait, but you're not asking who was smart you were asking who was the villain he's a smart villain Yeah

Spencer (01:25:49.596)
Yeah, but he sabotaged them. He sabotaged the whole ship, but if he didn't do that, maybe it would have been fine.

Chris (01:25:53.043)
The real villain, the real villain.

Luciano (01:25:59.687)
Yeah, it's true.

Matt (01:26:00.511)
He and he let Clemens on so all the things Clemens did after that are contributed to the one-eyed guy

Luciano (01:26:05.852)
I see.

Spencer (01:26:06.054)
Mm hmm. It was one I really all along.

Matt (01:26:10.705)
Fair enough. We have to move on. No. That's why we had to move on. You didn't need to. I tried to save you from yourself and you wouldn't let me. That's a... I'm sorry about that. Yeah.

Luciano (01:26:12.012)
Oh no. One-eyed really is what Clemens calls his needles.

Chris (01:26:16.082)
EY-O

Spencer (01:26:16.852)
Yes. We all we all. We almost got out of there. We almost got out of it. No, I want to pause. Nothing's worse than submersibles. Nothing is worse than submersibles. You can't say no.

Chris (01:26:18.743)
You know... That... that was... That was worse. That was worse than some Mercables. Hehehe

Luciano (01:26:19.945)
I know, I didn't want to be saved.

Matt (01:26:29.194)
Yeah.

Chris (01:26:29.255)
You can't pause. Nothing, no, you don't get to pause. I'm the captain of this ship.

Matt (01:26:35.011)
That time you gave all of France money to your aides is not worse than submersible.

Chris (01:26:39.733)
See, see, see in the corridor. Get back in the corridor, boy.

Luciano (01:26:41.406)
It's a... Listen, I think the answer here is this is a harsh competition for what's the worst thing.

Spencer (01:26:41.564)
I Didn't

Chris (01:26:49.955)
A race to the bottom, if you will. Everyone's winning it to the word bottom.

Matt (01:26:50.971)
Everyone's winning somehow.

Spencer (01:26:51.702)
You know what? I think the real monster was all of us. All along.

Matt (01:26:56.479)
This is correct. All right. I have one last question, Pallet Clans, before we do our reviews of the movie. Um, it's a quick one, I think.

Luciano (01:27:01.888)
Okay.

Chris (01:27:04.327)
That's what she said.

Luciano (01:27:06.227)
I'm sorry.

Spencer (01:27:07.678)
low-hanging fruit.

Matt (01:27:09.207)
Our friend Mr. Olgaren seems like a nice guy, is conflicted about what they're doing, has a daughter, nice sympathetic character they set up. He turned into a zombie pretty quick. And he goes after Toby. And Toby locks the door so no one can get in. And no one can ever get in because they can't reach far enough down, but that's not important. What is important is that in order to get to Toby, hard to say.

Luciano (01:27:34.693)
They don't want to reach that far down.

Matt (01:27:37.375)
What is important is that Toby is hiding in this room and Mr. Olgren is gonna knock down the door. Now being that he is a zombie, he is looking for the most effective body part to bash down that door the fastest. He opts for his forehead, face, nose, the face area. I'm just wondering if there's a different body part that might've been more effective.

Chris (01:27:53.478)
No.

Luciano (01:27:53.994)
His face, the face area, the face area. Yeah.

Spencer (01:27:58.184)
I think it was his nose.

Matt (01:28:04.939)
Provided you're a zombie and so your thinking is, well, maybe low. Mm-hmm. Okay.

Chris (01:28:09.235)
hindered.

Luciano (01:28:10.346)
I think you're selling him to short man, to be honest. I think he just really, really big fan of Jack Nicholson and he wanted to do a here's Alderan. That's what he was doing.

Spencer (01:28:19.488)
But he... first of all, terrible joke. Secondly, Jack Nicholson knocked the door. I know. Jack Nicholson knocked the door, not with his face. He just put his face through the hole.

Matt (01:28:23.193)
Hehehe

Luciano (01:28:24.807)
You left? You left? I'm okay!

Luciano (01:28:30.622)
Yeah, but he's a zombie.

Matt (01:28:31.467)
Thirdly, 1897. I don't believe Jack and Elizabeth came through any doors for several years.

Spencer (01:28:35.335)
Yeah

Chris (01:28:36.143)
Exactly. Olgren was a trailblazer.

Luciano (01:28:36.582)
Listen, we have we have dialysis. We have blood transfusions. We have, you know. So much walkie talkies. Come on, Mars code.

Chris (01:28:42.709)
and submersibles.

Spencer (01:28:43.825)
Time is a flat circle.

Matt (01:28:44.328)
We got talkies?

Chris (01:28:47.203)
walkie talkies what we got. We've got white women anyways.

Spencer (01:28:51.524)
Wait, what? So. Yeah, because we knew he could use his arms in that scene, but he didn't. So that was a choice for the face. The bold choice, bold strategy. God, let's see how it plays out. Turns out his eyeball exploded.

Luciano (01:28:56.876)
UGH

Matt (01:29:02.047)
That was a choice.

Luciano (01:29:06.871)
Yeah.

Matt (01:29:11.027)
It wasn't that bad, but it wasn't that great.

Chris (01:29:11.123)
Duh.

Luciano (01:29:12.981)
It worked!

Spencer (01:29:13.852)
It worked, but his eye was popping out of his head.

Matt (01:29:18.479)
I don't know if his eyes worked anymore anyway, so whatever.

Spencer (01:29:20.584)
It's true. Question, you said any body part. Do I have a barbed bat dong?

Matt (01:29:26.435)
To my question. You, I think he, he didn't display that like flight power. So I'm going to say it's half barbed at best.

Luciano (01:29:31.55)
Not yet.

Luciano (01:29:39.714)
Could you use this half-barbed dong to sew the door?

Chris (01:29:39.879)
I don't like where this is going.

Spencer (01:29:43.776)
That's what I'm thinking so I can saw the door with my barbed bat dog. I don't know how potent it is.

Chris (01:29:45.927)
This door could use a quilt.

Chris (01:29:51.153)
This door could use a doily.

Matt (01:29:53.019)
I think Spencer, it wasn't... I don't know how bat dicks are barbed traditionally, but I don't believe that they're barbed in a way, in a line to make a sword or a saw. I don't know. That's true. Maybe his bat barbed dick didn't follow tradition, in which case I'll allow it.

Luciano (01:29:54.311)
Toiley!

Luciano (01:30:00.75)
Traditionally, we can go, we can, but Matt, don't let tradition keep you.

Spencer (01:30:04.453)
It's not a saw like barving.

Chris (01:30:15.518)
evolved man.

Spencer (01:30:17.98)
Um, yeah, I mean, if you're going to go with your face, I feel like the chin would be... No, no, I think forehead's better than the chin. The top of the head? No, we're not, I'm going away from the head.

Chris (01:30:26.963)
Terrible.

Luciano (01:30:27.002)
The head, maybe the head, like a ramming rod. Yeah.

Chris (01:30:31.867)
They say the top of the head is, isn't the top of the head the hardest part of your, like when you, when people like street fight and stuff, like you're like, you.

Luciano (01:30:37.274)
It's, it's the, it's, it's a, you know.

Matt (01:30:40.267)
Chris, you haven't used logic in this conversation yet. I don't know why you're starting now.

Chris (01:30:44.499)
We'll see.

Spencer (01:30:45.362)
Can I submersively go under the door? Yes, I got it.

Matt (01:30:47.647)
Yes, that's correct answer. We're moving on. Let's get to these reviews. Spencer cracked the case. Um, let's do our reviews of this movie. Uh, as you all know, and I keep saying we're ranking this on the S tier, uh, system as is the top level F is the bottom. We do not go below F. Chris. That was literally the first movie we did. I didn't, didn't trend well for us. Chris.

Luciano (01:30:49.438)
There you go. Ha ha ha.

Chris (01:30:49.875)
Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe

Chris (01:31:10.451)
except for Morbius.

Matt (01:31:17.675)
We're gonna let you go first. So if I need to delete what you say, I know where it is.

Chris (01:31:22.939)
You don't know where anything is. I can hop in at any time, my man.

Matt (01:31:26.923)
131 basically, depending on how the edits go.

Chris (01:31:29.979)
Don't- I could slide in new reviews when everybody else does theirs too. You think you slick? I got the trick.

Matt (01:31:35.984)
Yes, I edit this podcast.

Luciano (01:31:37.662)
I was gonna say, just like, you're, you, you're powerless here, boy!

Chris (01:31:39.959)
I will start my own podcast and I will read I've been recording our conversation this entire time. Anyways, um My review Uh, i'm glad this movie wasn't scary

Matt (01:31:43.911)
Yeah.

Spencer (01:31:54.02)
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

Luciano (01:31:54.73)
HAHAHAHAHAHA What a fucking indictment

Matt (01:31:54.916)
Ha ha ha!

Chris (01:31:59.791)
Um, I recco highly recommend. Like, I mean, so in a way we're semi spoiling for people and that's fine. So.

Spencer (01:32:06.852)
She's touched with the whole fucking movie! What are you talking about?

Luciano (01:32:08.889)
We spiled the whole fucking thing.

Chris (01:32:10.807)
Don't worry about it. I'm working through this because I, I review and rate based on emotion and based on my experience. So, okay. Yeah. This movie is not scary. If you want to spend your time asking questions and then evaluating what you just saw, I'd recommend you could save yourself a little more time, bump that speed up to like 1.25, 1.5 and really enjoy this viewing experience. So.

I mean, there's some good performance. Well, actually the only good performance in my opinion is from Liam Cunningham. Like that boy drew me in, but it's okay. I can rap, I can conclude. And therefore, with the approval of my fellow castmates and podcast mates here, I will deem this movie an E for eh.

Matt (01:32:44.2)
He's spiraling.

Matt (01:33:05.015)
Classic rating. Fair, fair, fair. Yes. Okay, Luciano, the resident vampire expert. Expert all over us.

Chris (01:33:07.163)
It's a TV movie for me. It makes me sad, but yeah.

Chris (01:33:15.428)
Mmm.

Luciano (01:33:16.638)
Unfortunately, unfortunately true. I was very disappointed in this movie. I'm not a huge fan of horror movies, but I do enjoy some good vampire stories. This was not a good vampire story, even knowing bits and pieces of the story from where it comes from and all of the detail, it derailed really fast for me. Like I was...

Chris (01:33:19.891)
pressure.

Matt (01:33:31.191)
Mm-hmm.

Chris (01:33:41.127)
Hmm

Luciano (01:33:41.702)
I was interested in the first like whatever 15 minutes and then afterwards I was like this is so boring and not scary, not fun. It's just meh. However I didn't hate the CG as much as Spencer evidently did. And I thought Lee and Cunningham's acting was pretty decent. Overall you know I started this I thought it was going to be a D but it's an E as well.

Matt (01:33:57.887)
Okay.

Luciano (01:34:08.951)
E for like, I don't want to see this again.

Matt (01:34:12.587)
So basically E for the same thing Chris said with some extra words. Great. Ha ha ha.

Luciano (01:34:15.722)
Yeah, I realized the meat sentence that I was saying the same thing and I was like fuck it

Spencer (01:34:19.163)
Yeah. I'm gonna run with it. I'm gonna own it.

Chris (01:34:23.209)
That's the feeling, that's the feeling. Put that on the VHS box.

Matt (01:34:25.272)
You ma- Ha

Luciano (01:34:26.558)
I honestly think that this is the right sentiment for this movie. It's like, ah, fuck it.

Matt (01:34:30.656)
You made your own, so cool. Spencer, your turn. What do you got for us?

Spencer (01:34:36.468)
Um, yeah, I don't know if I covered it yet, but I did not like the CGI or the look of the monster. Um, and I found it horribly on horribly on scary. This whole movie is very not scary, but I, like, I'm not, I don't love horror, but I love movies like the, like alien and the thing and predator. And this seemed like that up my alley kind of, you know, stuck in a spot with a monster kind of thing.

Luciano (01:34:44.034)
What? Really?

Chris (01:34:44.467)
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Spencer (01:35:05.684)
And it was like, what do you rate a horror movie, you know, based on the kills is a big part. The kills sucked. They were the same thing for every kill of him just biting them, which I get it. He's Dracula, but like, come on, be creative. Yeah.

Luciano (01:35:19.41)
and making some disgusting sucking noises too. Yeah, yeah, it's not good.

Matt (01:35:22.447)
Oh my god. Don't listen to this movie with headphones, people.

Chris (01:35:25.957)
Yeah.

Spencer (01:35:26.072)
So the, like the kills were bad. The monster itself was bad. The only thing with the acting was actually was serviceable, but the story sucked. And the monster was bad. And the CGI on the monster was also bad.

Chris (01:35:45.127)
But the black man lived.

Spencer (01:35:46.348)
But the black guy lives, that's a plus. But.

Matt (01:35:48.874)
Yep.

Luciano (01:35:50.446)
This is the biggest surprise of all.

Chris (01:35:52.108)
You know?

Spencer (01:35:52.876)
But Liam Cunningham died, so that's a negative. They did kill a child, which is a plus.

Chris (01:35:56.807)
Yeah.

Chris (01:36:01.555)
true.

Luciano (01:36:04.11)
Says the man with two kids.

Chris (01:36:05.999)
And Clemens?

Matt (01:36:06.039)
Spencer.

Spencer (01:36:06.927)
It's just, it's refreshing when they don't follow tropes, that's all I'm saying. Yes, I'm getting to it, sir.

Luciano (01:36:10.222)
Fair.

Matt (01:36:10.468)
If you could please wrap up your, yeah. We already know what it's gonna be is to just spit it out. We do.

Luciano (01:36:13.717)
You're rambling.

Spencer (01:36:17.516)
No, you don't know what it's gonna be. It's gonna be an E because it could have been worse. An E for a sexy lady. Oop, oop, oop. Buzz up from the side.

Chris (01:36:23.76)
Oh

Chris (01:36:29.487)
Where, where, where are the white women? Uh. Do, do, do.

Luciano (01:36:35.926)
Alright, give us yours Matt.

Matt (01:36:37.771)
When I started this podcast, I was thinking of giving it something in the C range because while it was a little light on story, it wasn't a bad movie. It hit all the plot points and Dracula terrorized his ship. And I really like just something about like horror films and any sort of film, genre films from like the 19th century where you're like, you know.

Maybe it's the fantasy aspects of it that always come back to me, but like it's a great idea, right? Because the horror is real, there's no phones, there's no like technology, nothing. So it's like you can really believe in it. But as we talked through it, I realized that they forgot many things. CGI, story, plots, acting from a number of characters, a reason for half those characters to exist on the boat. Not enough people on the boat to actually pilot the boat. Dracula didn't really do anything interesting.

Luciano (01:37:16.84)
Hahaha

Matt (01:37:33.247)
He was basically a smoke monster, but didn't actually use smoke powers. I know that you said Luciano. I didn't prove it to me. Hmm. Didn't you? Um, thank you. And so I, I still, I don't think it's as bad as the critics played it out as for, for variation and differences. I want to give it a D because it feels just like Megan. And I think I gave Megan a D.

Luciano (01:37:38.582)
Didn't say anything.

Luciano (01:37:42.574)
This is your time to shine for once.

Chris (01:37:44.156)
He mentioned it.

Luciano (01:38:00.702)
You did not. Yeah, you did.

Matt (01:38:02.115)
I gave Megan an E, right? Well, welcome to E4. And I gave Megan an E, so I gotta give it to you too.

Luciano (01:38:07.502)
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

Chris (01:38:09.232)
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Spencer (01:38:09.814)
Fair.

Matt (01:38:13.527)
Gross.

Spencer (01:38:14.028)
Yeah, we should track all that and have a big graph. Well, aren't we good? Aren't we smart? Aren't we smart, guys?

Matt (01:38:16.467)
We are tracking all that. It's almost like we plan to do that. Go back to Greece.

Luciano (01:38:17.098)
We are tracking it. There's some surprises. There are some surprises coming. There are some surprises coming for the listeners.

Matt (01:38:23.427)
Um, the next surprise for the continuation of the Jackathon, we are not stopping Jackathoning. We are going to watch...

Spencer (01:38:26.788)
Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Luciano (01:38:30.992)
Hahaha

Spencer (01:38:31.762)
We're Jackathoning all the way to the top of the Jackathon mountain.

Matt (01:38:34.647)
Don't stop. Yeah. Even if it chafes a bit, just keep going. We are going to watch haunted house or haunted mansion of the calls. We are watching the 2023 Owen Wilson vehicle. Yeah, there's a bunch of stars, Danny DeVito's in it. The brand new one that came out and passed through the theater, almost as fast as the last footage that Demeter did.

Luciano (01:38:43.682)
Content management, yes.

Chris (01:38:49.607)
Hmm.

with Keith Stanfield.

Luciano (01:38:52.718)
Sure. Oh wow. Wow.

Spencer (01:38:54.232)
Yeah.

Chris (01:39:04.219)
Made for teens.

Matt (01:39:06.105)
It just came out on Disney, so we're gonna watch it. And we'll see if it's scarier than the last two movies. Because these have not been scary.

Spencer (01:39:14.416)
Hehehehehehe

Luciano (01:39:14.963)
Hahaha! Yeah.

Spencer (01:39:17.228)
Very possible, very possible.

Matt (01:39:22.955)
We'll see you next time.

Spencer (01:39:25.73)
Bye!

Chris (01:39:26.608)
Thank you, bye!